Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 84 Ask Me Anything

Episode Date: October 1, 2021

Shawn and Andrew are LIVE answering all of your most burning questions about life, relationships, and all couple things! Tune in to hear all the juicy details! ANDD....WE ARE GOING ON TOUR!! Check out the link below to see if we are coming to a city near you in 2022! Click here to get your tickets now ▶ https://www.couplethingspod.com/ We are sponsored by SlingTV, which we love. Check them out below: ▶ Go to slingTV.com/EASTFAM to get your first month for just 10 dollars! If you haven’t yet, please rate Couple Things and subscribe to hear more. Follow us on Instagram to keep the conversation going at https://www.instagram.com/couplething... And if you have suggestions/recommendations for the show, send us your ideas in a video format – we might just choose yours! Email us at [e-mail]. Subscribe for more! http://bit.ly/3rnOdNo Follow My Instagram ▶ http://www.instagram.com/ShawnJohnson Like the Facebook page! ▶ http://www.facebook.com/ShawnJohnson Follow My Twitter ▶ http://www.twitter.com/ShawnJohnson Snapchat! ▶ @ShawneyJ Follow AndrewsTwitter ▶ http://www.twitter.com/AndrewDEast Follow My Instagram ▶ http://www.instagram.com/AndrewDEast Like the Facebook page! ▶ http://www.facebook.com/AndrewDEast Snapchat! ▶ @AndrewDEast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With Amex Platinum, you have access to over 1,400 airport lounges worldwide. So your experience before takeoff is a taste of what's to come. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Conditions apply. We are live. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to Couple Things. With Sean and Andrew.

A podcast all about couples. And the things they go through. today it is ask us anything live edition baby we are actually going to include your questions that you submitted via your phone audio yeah we were listening to a lot of them last night they're awesome yeah we're really excited as always i am trying out some new tech things so this may or may not work but we're optimistic i tried to roll the intro screen that did not work so we're up for one so far okay i do have to give a little anecdote here i feel like every time we tried to do something live. Andrew tries something new.

Yes. And it never works. That is correct. I hate to poop on your parade there, babe. But you know what though? If we're not changing, we're not trying. Okay. Or if we're not trying, we're not changing. Or one of the two. Anyway. A couple of updates for you guys that we're really excited about. One, if you guys haven't heard, a couple of things is going on. Tour. Is it tour or tour? Tour. Tour. Definitely tour. But we're going on tour, starting in February?

Late January. Am I right, Lex? Late January. Late January. We have six cities. Make sure you check in the description. We'll put the link. You can buy tickets already.

Some are on pre-sale. Make sure you don't miss those. We're doing intimate venues and it's going to be awesome. We're planning everything right now, but we're doing like games, potentially comedians, country music artists, just all of it.

Pyrotechnics. Actually, one of the questions that we're talking about is, what can we expect on the tour? And so we're going to break down some of the segments that Sean just teased. I'm pumped, though. It'll be exciting, especially given, like, post-2020, I'm really excited to see everybody. In person. It's like why we do what we do. Yes.

Also, should we have, like, wine there? Should we, I don't know. I'm post-baby here, okay? If you want to find out more information, though, about the six different locations that we're going to visit the couple things pod.com link is in the description i believe um so check it out and before we get started if you haven't yet please subscribe to the channel or the show on whatever platform you're listening yes give it a rating whether it's a thumbs up or you have a comment to drop just go ahead and do that thank you yeah so should we just jump right in let's do

we have juicy questions here or are we just like this episode is brought to you by Defender. With its 626 horsepower twin turbo V8 engine, the Defender Octa is taking on the Dakar rally. The ultimate off-road challenge. Learn more at landrover.ca.

You have heard any of them? I haven't heard none of them. Okay. Well, here we go. I mean, I heard the ones from last night. Let's do the first one. Okay. Ready? All righty. Here we go. It was working. I don't know if it was. we have Morgan is here to ask a question now let's check this out here okay do we think that the statement

and question of when you know you know is true what's going on here technical difficulties okay so the question is should we repeat it again no okay um I think that statement comes with a lot of baggage uh because Andrew and I talked about this before we don't technically believe in the one so like this fantasized concept that there is only one person out there for you and when you find them relationship the relationship's going to be super easy you're going to feel like you meant prince charming or cinderella and that it's all just going to click relationships are really hard no matter what even if you find the most compatible person in the world they're going to be very hard so the concept do you will you just know i don't think you'll know i think you'll know i think you'll

find someone where you look at them and you're like, I love them and I want to make this work. You know when you're ready to commit. Yes, but devil's advocate, yes and no. Because even when we were talking about getting engaged and stuff, it's a very human thing to have doubts and to be like, holy crap, is this actually like my person?

Am I going to be able to make this work for the rest of my life? Am I going? Like, yes. So I would say yes and no. You find someone who you want to make it work with. Also, we would love to get your opinion on this. Adam and Lindsay via the chat said, asked a similar question of how do you know you're ready to get married.

I think it's the same concept of, yeah, it's just in my perspective, it's, I'm at a point in life where I am willing to sacrifice whatever needs to be sacrificed for this person and like be honest and do the work of trying to, you know, get rid of any bad habits that I have that don't work in our relationship and all this stuff that comes with committing to another person. And I will say, um, I feel like a mistake a lot of people make is that when you're

in a dating relationship, you're waiting to find someone to date that makes it easy. And I feel like that's unrealistic to completely different human beings trying to coexist is very hard. And it's just whenever you find someone that it's worth struggling for, I think that's when you know this is like marriage material. I like that. Lina agrees with you. Mandy says that you were very well said. Spoken. Sorry. Let's see. Samantha Kraus via the chat says she's at the point in her life where she wants to leave because she doesn't know how to be a stay-at-home mom. I don't know how because I'm a stay at home mom. That's tough.

Honestly, so we in full transparency are not equipped to answer all of your questions. And we try to very clearly remind you and tell you that we're not a therapist and we don't have your answers. Our mission is to share our experience in hopes that someone else relates to it or can find encouragement in it. So, Samantha, I would encourage you to sit down with loved ones. maybe sit down with a professional and work through what that situation is and what it looks like for you. Well, and if Andrew and I are being very transparent, we've had very hard times where we've struggled and we've been disconnected and either one of us hasn't liked where we were in

life and that we've wanted transitions and there are sacrifices and there's so many things where you can just butt heads and feel like they're really, you don't know where to go or like how to take a step forward. and I would just say, be very transparent with your husband, ask for help from professionals, and see what there is that can be salvaged. All right, you're ready for another take? Let's try it. Here we go.

Hi, Andrew and Sean. This is Jessica Dorneman coming at you live from Derby, Kansas, just south of Wichita, Kansas. Wait, I didn't get charged for my donut. It was free with this Tim's rewards points. I think I just stole it. I'm a donut stealer. Ooh. Earn points so fast, it'll seem too good to be true.

Plus, join Tim's rewards today and get enough points for a free donut, drink, or timbits. With 800 points after registration, activation, and first purchase of a dollar or more. See the Tim's app for details at participating in restaurants in Canada for a limited time. I was wondering who are people in your lives that you just consider. consistently look up to and why do you look up to them, preferably people that you actually know personally, kind of in your day-to-day life or people in your families or something like that, just people that you really admire and why do you admire them? Okay, well, that's a good question. Thank you, Jessica, for that question. Just want to make

sure that everyone could hear that. Holy smokes, we're doing it, babe. That's a huge step. Can I just, can you pat me on the back there? Good job. Thank you. I was a little nervous, Jessica. Well, I just, everyone, you know, took the time to submit questions on audio and I didn't want to blow it. It did such a good job. Thank you. To answer the question, though, people that we admire look up to, I'll speak for myself because I feel like we might have separate people. I look up to my parents. My parents have been married 55 years.

Yeah, it might just be 50. 50 years. Okay, yeah, but. No, because they got married when they were 16. Okay. Oh, 45 years. Yeah. 45 because they're 60 whatever um a long time they got married and they're 16 and they have been

through it they have been through pretty much every up and down you can imagine and they have fought to stay together they are each other's rocks and i have seen them argue and i have seen them love harder than i've ever seen in my life and i i just i admire that to them there was never an option to leave because they made the fight worth it if that makes sense what about friends that you admire anybody like that so so the list of my on my side i answered the question how i interpreted it okay that was cute i like that i would say i mean there's a long list of people that i admire and take aspects of their life uh and apply to mine so like ryan litman is one of my best friends um and he is just one of the most i don't know emotionally and socially aware people

and i love him a lot uh josh axe has been a fantastic mentor to me all my siblings um have made a large impact in my life jd is the one brother uh who's directly older than me and i feel like i've just ridden his coattails through life and i wouldn't have done or been involved in most of the activities had not been for him but i got to thinking for the longest time i answered the question of who my role model is with one person and that was do you know the answer to this jd lance armstrong oh yeah and i heard in college um that you shouldn't have any role models because they're all flawed which i understand that thought but i also think that um there's another saying called you can't throw the baby out with the bath water meaning

just because there's one fault in something doesn't mean you should erase all the good absolutely i'm obviously not condoning anything of that situation but lance was a guy who positively impacted my life and displayed an act of selflessness that i'd never seen we had our house burnt down my freshman year college in 2011 that's a whole podcast A whole other story. Yeah, we should do a series of crazy stories, Trinidad and Tobago being one of them. Oh my gosh. Anyway, but Lance sent this whole, like he sent 13 to 20 boxes of clothing because we had none.

And I don't know, I got to thinking about as I was going through Jessica's question of who do I admire in my life? It's like they're all flawed people and I don't agree with everything that each of these people do, but there are aspects of everyone that you can take away. He was my number one inspiration, my entire gymnastics career, which is funny because he was a cyclist. I read every single book he ever published as like motivation in my career. And it was fun. I had the opportunity, Jessica asked someone you personally know, and we got to meet Lance personally.

So we have a long list of people. Lexi is a dear friend and we lean on her and ask for her help a lot. Nashville's been a really good place for us to plant roots. Mallory for you. Yes. By the way, I'm sorry. Yes. But I have to pimp out Mallory for a second. If you don't know Mallory Urban, you should. She is one of my best friends. I've known her for 11 years. She is an influencer. Follow her on Instagram. She's posted her life, but she's coming out with a book. And nobody, she's never really shared her story publicly. And it is a very, very powerful one. And she's, She has put it in a book for you to read about, and I'm just going to tell you, get ready to pull out the tissues, and you should definitely read it because it's incredible. I like that. Living fully.

Oh, let me say, Tori Megan says her house burnt down in 2009 when she was 11. Wow. How about that? What's the next question? Are you ready for the next one? Hold on. No, don't do this. I do want to read one more quote, babe.

Because. Be, this isn't ask us anything live. We've only answered two. We should chop, chop it. Yeah, we're like 10 minutes in. We're having a blast. Okay, next question. Here we go.

Let's hit it. Hi, Sean and Andrew. It's Brianna. I was wondering how the transition from one kid to two kids have been. I have two kids, and I actually found the transition to the second kid much easier than the first. And I was wondering if you guys experienced the same thing. Love the podcast. Fantastic question.

Thank you for asking that. Let's see. Who was that? That was Brianna. Thank you, Brianna. I would agree. I would say transition from one to two kids was definitely easier than transition from zero to one. However, it has come with its own unique struggles, just like trying to make time for everybody and everything, trying to organize our life to be more productive, trying to show our first baby Drew as much love as we can during the transition. And yeah, so there's just different struggles. But I definitely think zero to one is a smack in the face. Yeah. Hard.

You're like, wow. And then one to two, you're like, oh, it's just, it's just another one. I have a conspiracy theory. What? I just came up with this. Oh, gosh. Do you hate when we do live streams? Yes.

I just got tangents. You're Googling random stuff right now. No, I'm not. There's profound wisdom. My conspiracy theory is this. Wisdom is knowing that, that, that, the best life comes from being as selfless as possible. If you look at like all these billionaires,

what do they do with all their money at the end of their life? They give it away. It's like being selfless. And I feel like there's a series of hoops that you jump through as an adult to get to that point of selflessness. The first being maybe a job where you have to be selfless. The second being marriage have to be more selfless. And then kids is like the ultimate biggest jump.

I feel like that you make and being selfless. So going from zero to one was a massive mental leap of, okay, this isn't about me. But as soon as you settle into that, why and two becomes easier? Because it's like, it's just more, even more so not about me. Yeah.

Yeah. You try to wrap you up. Yeah. I love doing these with you, babe. Yeah. I love it. Next question. We still have a lot to figure out, though,

as far as kids go and how we're adjusting to two. Yes, for sure. There's definitely still been attacks, new routine, there's less downtime. Sean is, for those just listening, she's ushering me forward. Next question. This one's from Morgan. Here we go. Hello, my question is, after having the second baby, your little boy jet, did Sean

struggle with postpartum depression at all. I know that she struggled a little bit with Drew, and so I was curious. And if so, how did you guys handle that together as a couple? I just had my second, also a little boy, and I currently have been struggling and just trying to find the right way to express how I'm feeling to my husband so that we can work through it together as a couple and as parents. okay let me reiterate something that we already touched on we are not professionals so would recommend looking into sitting down with some sort of therapist potentially um really important topic postpartum depression now because nobody really talks about it or wants to admit to it

i think postpartum depression can come in every shape and size so even if you have like the tiniest thought don't push that off and be like oh it's not a big deal or if your life is consumed by something please ask for help um for me and Andrew going into our first pregnancy or technically our second but our daughter Drew we talked about postpartum depression a lot because of my background I had gone through eating disorders I had gone through therapy before I had struggled with massive insecurities I had struggled with depression I had been dependent on you know Adderall and all these different things I had struggled in that department before so when we went into that

pregnancy, a big fear of mine was that I would struggle with postpartum depression. So we talked about before we had our daughter just kind of like different practices that we were going to do. So Andrew, I think the doctors actually at the hospital kind of put Andrew even through like a small course. They were saying they would kind of sit him down and say if she mentions, what were the like triggers that they told you? I don't know. I would hate to

ramble too long, so I'll just, we'll bridge it and just say that there were some triggers. I'm sorry. I just remember them saying like if she ever is very sad or continues to be sad or I don't know, if there were any like red

flags not to brush it off and for him to call the doctor and kind of make them aware. But we had a very what are you laughing? I'm laughing because Nicole Nicole and Amanda are saying that the cup is making I'm nervous. We have a cup sitting through our chairs. It looks like, yeah.

Thank you for that last guys. Okay. To wrap up my answer. We made it a priority with our daughter and then we made it a priority with Jet to check in with each other every day. Even if Andrew doesn't understand it, it's my responsibility and his responsibility to share how we're feeling. So it's his responsibility to check in and my responsibility to share, whether it's good, bad, or ugly. And yes, with our son, I have struggled.

I did struggle a little bit at the beginning, especially because we were, we had some, like, hard first days when we came home. Drew had RSV. She had to go stay with my parents. There was just, like, a lot of mom guilt and emotions there. So I really struggled with that. But I think if you just kind of word vomit as much as you can, tried to explain your emotions, just the act of like speaking it, I think makes you feel better.

Yeah, and also understanding that they're phases. And so like this phase for us, the six weeks after, it was only watch comedy films, get outside as much as possible, surround yourself with loved ones, like creating, you know, a generally positive environment to get the, you know, positive hormones firing and, you know. so we tried to do that and there were times i remember we turned on like a scary movie with drew the week after she was born and we were both sitting there thinking oh this is not what we need right now that was actually andrew's rule was we weren't allowed to watch anything except comedies because it was just one of the things that he did to really support me which i really loved

yeah uh real quick intermission question from matt mclaren thank you for the super chat by the way. Summer's here, and you can now get almost anything you need for your sunny days, delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by, almost? Well, you can't get a well-groom lawn delivered, but you can get a chicken parmesan delivered. A cabana?

That's a no. But a banana, that's a yes. A nice tan, sorry, nope. But a box fan, happily yes. A day of sunshine? No. A box of fine wines? Yes.

Uber Eats can definitely get you that. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol and select markets. Product availability may vary by Regency app for details. What was your favorite college game you ever played and where was it? Go Tigers.

He's an LSU guy. Never actually got to play. The two SAC stadiums I didn't get a playing were LSU and Auburn. Played everywhere else. Alabama was definitely memorable. They were one or two in the nation when we played them. But we beat Florida in the swamp, which was a big deal. Vandy beating Florida.

Don't act like it. It's just like. Is it the first game you ever won? You're a hater. We were good. and my Vandy boys are going to come back to. Next question. Here we go.

Hey, this is Caitlin from St. Louis, Missouri. I was just curious what the theme of your podcast is going to be whenever you take it to Nashville, Tennessee for the live show. I'm going to be there, so I'm just curious what I can look forward to. Thanks. What up, Caitlin, from St. Louis, Missouri. We're excited to see in person. talking about tour so we have a lot of different ideas we're currently booking talent for each city

we're doing the run-of show but we're going to do a lot of like live games that include the audience we're going to do some um fun storytelling about things that we've never talked about before keeping it super lighthearted and funny we potentially have an awesome community comedian in Nashville and an awesome country music artist what else talking about guests so it's going to be think of it as 15 minute segments yes uh and we're going to have six or eight one of the two um but we'll start with sean rarely tells her story she's given speeches for years about her Olympic experience and what she learned from it and uh some takeaways there so we're definitely get a hit on that but we're also doing some kind of game show think think similar to america's

funniest home videos but maybe meets dating apps so does that make sense yeah um it's going to be a fun night uh we realize that many of you are going to be coming from a house that has kids and the chaos that ensue so we want to make this yes a really awesome get together and also have the focus of getting to know you personally so there's definitely going to be a question and answer segment as well. So the link, if you're interested in seeing where we're going to be,

it's six different cities. We're going to be in Charlotte, Pittsburgh, Columbus, Indianapolis, where I'm from, Atlanta and Nashville. And we're doing small,

intimate venues on purpose. So grab your ticket while you can. And our goal with it is to make it an awesome night out. So it could be a date night. You don't have to bring a guest. You don't have to bring a spouse. You don't have,

like you can come as a single. We just want to make it super lighthearted, Super fun. Yeah, that'll be great. Let's get to the next question after we hear from the sponsors. Today's episode is brought to you by Sling TV. Yes. You know what tonight is, babe?

Yes, it's day night. You're pumped. Yeah. I love that. Let's go. Every Thursday, baby. You know what I'm thinking that we do for it? What?

I think we do a movie night. I think we cuddle up on the couch. Okay. Put some sweats on. Yes, I need to buy some new ones. And watch a chick flick. Watch one of my chick flicks. That's my vibe.

You are like a chick flick guy. But I could definitely get on board with that with some like pizza. Yeah. And ice cream. I'm down for both of those things. DeSanos and Jenny. And what delicious. Yeah.

And with Slink TV, we have so many movie channel options to choose from along with all the other amazing channels that we put on our lineup like ESPN, HDTV and so many. more. Just no ESPN tonight. Fine. I'm okay with that even though there is Thursday night football. If you guys don't know about it, Sling TV is so easy to set up, easy to use, and there's no contract. Listen to that. No contract. All for $35 a month. And they are offering our listeners our major deal, which is your first month is only $10. 10 bucks for TV? You can create your perfect channel lineup for more personalized TV experience. You can literally start streaming right now on your phone, your TV, or your tablet. It's so easy. Sling was the live TV solution we had been searching for, and now it can be your solution too. So take control of your TV experience with Sling. It takes

and makes TV fair, flexible, and just flat out better. Go to slingtiv.com forward slash eastfam to sign up now and get your first month for just $10. That's SlingTV.com forward slash eastfam to get your first month for just $10. Yeah. I'll put that in description below as well. Yeah, we'll also link that. Thank you. Now, next question. You ready for this? Yes. Hey, Andrew and John. This is Kelsey from Denver, Colorado. I just first wanted to say that I love your podcast. It's so awesome. I listen to it every week. My question would be, how do you and how do you guys as the couple navigate time together, especially now with two babies?

My husband and I just had our second child in August. And we have a two-year-old. as well. And it's been kind of rough for us to find time together for just us since the new baby has been born. So I just wanted to get your opinion. Love you guys. Thank you. Bye. Okay. How do you make time together when you have kids? Wow. You find the answer to that. Let us know, please. I don't want to say this is a sore subject, but I think this is what Andrew and I struggle with, and it's what we struggled with after Drew and what we struggled with after Jet. And I think it's very, very normal. Your spouse is your partner. It's like your number one priority and we are firm believers that in order to be good parents, you have to have a very strong relationship. And I feel

like right after you have a kid, that dynamic is kind of turned upside down on its head because babies become the priority and your spouse kind of gets pushed off to the side. We learned after Drew that there is at least a six to eight week period after a kid where you just really don't get any time with your spouse. And you know what week we are with Jet? Nine. So we're literally coming off a pretty heavy period of not being connected. And I feel like a lot of Andrew and I's big like arguments and struggles that we go through

and we have gone through after Jet have been because of exactly this because we'll start arguing and we'll start, you know, arguing about literally nothing and all of a sudden it'll come to a head and we're like, you know what, I just feel disconnected. I miss you. I haven't seen you. I haven't cuddled with you. I haven't gone to dinner with you. And I feel like all of our like tension comes from that.

And what we've done differently with Jet is after we get through all these arguments and we kind of get more of a level head, it's like, oh, we're still in that phase. And I think just acknowledging that I will see you again. You are my priority, even if I can't show it to you right now. And I'll see you in a couple weeks. but we try we know we start date night back up at like six weeks maybe five so we we but we started we started doing home date nights because we realized like I mean even after one week of not having heart-to-heart conversations or like these connective-based conversations we get frustrated because I feel like this situation is this you have kids that you're

sacrificing so much for personally and together as a couple and you get there's like some resentment or frustration that can build up because you're like I am giving this person everything and I can't even connect with my spouse who I'm doing it with so there's like this it's like this frustration I think so we realized pretty quick that we needed to have that or we were going to have some blow up conflict yeah so I think something that we talk about a lot or that I try to vocalize a lot within our arguments and our tension is there's so much like he said there's so much sacrifice that goes into your kids early on and always but like especially early on and I just tell him I get to a point where I get tired of just being mom and I want to be

wife again like I want Andrew to look at me as his wife and not just the mother of his children and that dynamic is very hard to get back into but yeah like we said we start date nights at least once a week around five to six weeks even if it's only for an hour or a half hour or while the baby's napping and then we just slowly tried to integrate more and more time by ourselves yeah uh that's good that's really good thoughtful moments podcast sent through a super chat thank you for that um i think that i've been really impressed by you as a mom thank you and i'm sorry if we haven't been able to connect. It's okay, baby.

I mentioned this earlier that there are phases. Absolutely. And so realizing that, you know what, all right, you're about to have a kid, buckle up for two months of you'll get through it and you will connect. Definitely do what you can. So Amanda and Lindsay said physical touch. Like give a hug. Yes.

Or a cuddle. Like even if it's two minutes before the baby starts. it's crying again. That's a tough thing too. There's just so little windows of, hey, Drew's got to eat or we got to make her lunch or Jets crying or they lost this or they made this mess. And it's like your windows of focus are like two to three minutes. Well, and you become exhausted. Yeah, but you can't have good conversations in two to three minutes.

And so. And I do think one of the other aspects that makes it very difficult after a kid is you spend so much time for weeks and weeks and weeks. being just mom and dad that you get disconnected with your spouse and it's almost like you need to date again because I remember we've had conversations where it's like I don't feel like I know you right now yeah I don't know what you're reading I don't know what you're listening to I almost feel like I don't want to say awkward but it's like I don't know how to like go give you a hug and a kiss because it's like we haven't had any physical touch in weeks or yeah you felt like I was a stranger

Yeah, it's just like you truly have to get to know your husband or your wife again. And it's just, it takes so much effort. And one last thing. And then I'll give my last piece of advice. It is tough because I feel like there's a physical thing that happens to you when you have a kid that all of your focus is on the kid and nothing else. So like I'm not really thinking about new questions to ask Sean or new fun adventures or gifts to give Sean. And so there's that hurdle to overcome as well. But I'll say this.

A lot of us in our lives are strategic with our careers, our athletics, our training. We're strategic in a lot of areas of our life. And I feel like relationships are one area that gets so overly gets looked over. And you're not strategic with it after the dating phase or after the first couple years of marriage. So constantly trying to be strategic in small or large ways. um is a good challenge next question you ready yeah hi my name is Sarah Walker and my question to you guys is the conjuring last rites on September 5th Array!

The Conjuring Last Rites, only in the theater September 5th. How do you stay so positive in such a crazy, chaotic life with so many ups and downs and with the news and kind of just what the world is going through? but also like everyday life and random like little life things that can happen and kind of little stresses that you have to get through every day and just the overwhelmingness and stressful aspect of just life in general and normal downs that people go through like that's a good question is or self-doubt okay did we disconnect I don't know what happened did I okay we're good to go thank you uh let's see that was sarah that asked that question how do you stay positive in a crazy world one you mentioned the news the first couple months of

the pandemic yeah we were glued to the tv yeah and then you realize well freaking yeah i need to know what's going on and what new regulations are in place but you don't need to know at all i had a mentor say that they just read time magazines monthly releases because that gives you the kind of the high level synopsis of what happened in current events and you don't need to be reading freaking Twitter where it's second by second and it's like oh my gosh the stock market's up 1% or down 20% it's like over time things typically change gradually but if you look at it from a second by second and it can be super volatile. I'm talking about any aspect of life.

And so I think removing yourself a little bit from things like the news, setting up positive community in your life, friends, family. We've kind of settled into this cadence of friends and family. Like we'll see Ryan Lippman, who I mentioned at least once a week with his wife. We'll do personal hangouts and schedule that.

But honestly, the biggest change in our life, and then I'll let you talk, sorry, is we started using our calendar more strategically. I feel like three years ago before Drew, it was like you looked at our calendar is really nothing scheduled, but we started to make more commitments because we realized that as we make more commitments, we're able to control what the outcome is a little better. So whether that's with friends, work, personal time, personal development, et cetera. So I think just being strategic in that helps.

First, I want to say we don't always stay positive. True. True. So I actually, I do want to apologize if we make it seem that way. Because I never want to portray a perfect life because we do not lead one. True. We have our massive struggles. We have our low points.

And I feel like if you ever see us have a lull on social media, that's probably because we're going through a hard time. And it is so normal to not always be positive and to struggle. So don't ever think that there's something wrong because you're feeling that way. True. I do think, again, with Andrew and I's relationship, we prioritize transparency so much that we communicate when we're feeling in a funk so much. that we try to figure out solutions for it.

So back when the pandemic started and we were very obsessed with the news, we started noticing a pattern within our household that we were feeling like we were in a funk and we were depressed by it and we were just kind of sad and scared and consumed. And so we were like, okay, we are not allowed to watch the news in the morning.

That is not how we're going to start the day. We are not going to put that weight on our hearts. So it's just kind of like acknowledging where you're at every day And trying to find patterns of how you can fix it But it's kind of like Andrew saying after I have a baby I'm never allowed to watch anything except comedies I think it's just keeping things in perspective Knowing that you can control it so you can choose

What affects you and try to make the best of it That's a super good point and I should have started with that And I'm glad you said that But we do try to share as much as we can with you in our life. But naturally, there are things that we just don't share and don't whip out of camera to record. I pulled up a list of emotions. So what we share, like the emotions that you'll see are when we're happy, when we're loving, when we're surprised or even sad. We actually learned this from shrink chicks.

To pull up this list of emotions. To pull up an emotions chart and try to explain by point. pointing at an image how you are feeling to your spouse. That's good, but I'm saying social media, like, there's no way that when we're angry, yeah, the first instinct is not to pull out your camera. No. Unlike, like, when we're super pumped, the Drew's walking, it's like the first instinct is, I want to remember this forever.

When you're angry, you don't want to remember it forever. So we just naturally, those get underrepresented in what you see. So apologies if we do, give off vibes that we're always happy because we're not. had a massive argument last week and it was not recorded for everybody's benefit next question hi my name is ciann first of all i love you guys all of your podcast so thanks for opening up for questions my question is about work life balance while working out of the home i'm curious if you guys have examples of ways that you've made that work for you and ways where it didn't work especially with the kids and managing your workload

and in the midst of it all not feeling guilty. Thanks. Okay, Cian, thank you for the question. Wow, where do we start with this one? We've done it all wrong. We've gone through every scenario that didn't work. I think it is trial and error. Andrew and I worked together which was our first hurdle trying to figure out the dynamics of that the roles of that how to turn it on and off how to know when he's my husband and not my business partner how to know you know where work within our household is allowed and where it's not we've just tried to set a lot of boundaries and now with kids we've tried to set even more boundaries of we don't work in front of the kids we always whether whether it's

going upstairs or going to a certain room or trying to leave the house or working outside. We try to never cross paths with our kids when we're in work mode. And we always try to have an end at some point in the day where it's like, okay, work is done. We are 100% family. But I think whether it's finding rooms, separating your house, putting a line, just making boundaries is kind of the only thing that we have found that has worked. yeah Mallory gave us advice never try to multitask don't try to do the parenting thing and work at the same time it's really really good because that only ends in frustration it's like oh I didn't get any work done and I felt like I was neglecting my child so that was one big

takeaway from me yeah also just clearly communicating Sean asked me all the time hey how much longer do you need for work I'll try to give an accurate time estimation fortunate that you're most of the time flexible with me but just being like hey I need 45 minutes can you take the kids so I can finish this is a good strategy but anyway um I think I think that's all the questions that we had chosen thank you for submitting all of those that was fun let's see we had questions from Elena Jessica Brianna Morgan Caitlin Kelsey Sarah and Cian that was really fun and so many more in the chat. So thank you for participating in these.

Do we have any others? Let's answer one more from the chat if we're good with that. Natalie says, do you guys ever feel like one of you are doing more than the other? I feel like my husband takes advantage of me being home and doesn't want to, doesn't seem to want to help out. Can I take this one? Yeah. Okay.

I'm scared. No, I think that's an amazing question. because it's something Andrew and I have struggled with. And we've actually had a lot of perspective put on that by therapists. It was actually, I distinctly remember shrink jicks talking about this. I think one of the biggest mistakes couples make, and I'm reiterating this. It's not like I came to this idea on my own.

Because we would have a lot of arguments where I feel like I'm doing all the housework. And he feels like he's doing all the business work or vice versa, whatever. it is you always feel like you're doing more than the other person and these therapists we're saying instead of thinking that way try to reverse it and how do how do i word that we've talked about this a lot it's the expectation so instead of thinking i'm doing all the work try try to reverse it and say my husband has been working all day i would love to get this done for him or if you see him come home and take the trash out be like babe thank you so much when when the other person feels appreciated for what they've done you tend to have less negative thoughts yeah does that make sense

call out the good things that you see and you'll get more of that yeah is that what you're trying to say yeah well and tell tell your husband that like you feel like at home you felt overwhelmed because you did all the housework and you watch the kids and just say i just i just I just don't feel appreciated by it. If he can come home and say, thank you, baby, so much. And you can say, thank you, baby, for going to work and, like, doing all of that today.

When you guys feel appreciated, it doesn't feel like a sacrifice. The other thing is, again, this is some human condition where when you walk in and you see the dishwash, the sink is full of dishes, you think of all the other times that you've done the dishes and the natural next thought is, oh my gosh, I'm the only one that ever does the dishes. Why does Sean never do the freaking dishes? It's just me. She's just sitting around doing nothing. But there's so many things and so many chores around the house that you do that I don't see. And I need to, like, I feel like you will experience that initial urge to want to think your partner's being lazy,

but try to fight it. I think, I think having crucial conversations, if you notice a pattern over a long time over like a month and you're like hey Sean I think we need to sit down and discuss this but so oftentimes you can get wrapped up in the emotions of the here now um and let that just get inflamed so yeah and two comments I want to point out Tori said call out I think it says Tori says call it the good more than the negative that pertains to everything so if you look at your spouse you can find so many things that you don't like right just like you can in any human being from personal experience is this no never um but if you obsess over those and only point those out to yourself day in and day out you create this whole just belief that

you don't that you don't like your spouse and you don't love them it's it's kind of like whatever you create a habit of is what becomes your reality. So if I choose every day to wake up and only see the good in Andrew, that creates a habit that is good rather than negative. And the other one that I saw was being a stay-at-home mom is hard. It's hard to feel appreciated as a stay-at-home mom. Yes, it is. And I think the biggest thing you can do there is talk to your spouse and say, listen, being a stay-at-home mom is a full-time job it is a lot of people like to brush it off and say oh you just get to stay at home all day with the kids and that's luxury it is a full-time job that is why there are nannies in the world that get paid a lot of money is because they stay at home with the kids and it's a full-time job

so talking to your spouse about that and saying listen I feel underappreciated I appreciate that you go to work every day and go to a nine to five job and i would love to feel appreciated in return i think that's wise i uh i heard someone break down the definition of a professional versus an amateur and i've covid adam and lindsay but if you do we're praying for you um haley says this podcast has been really insightful and inspiring and Nicole saying hardest job as being a parent yeah so before we jump off um for those watching the live stream hit the thumbs up on your App that helps increase the visibility of this video. And be sure to be on the lookout for the next live stream.

Yes. This and being in live communication with you guys is so much fun. Again, if you haven't subscribed this show, please do so on whatever platform you're listening on. And next week, we have a fun interview that we're excited to bring you. I think it's the live therapy session. Oh my gosh. It was amazing.

So let's just tease that out. But we're pumped. Thank you for taking the time to be with us. morning. Have a fantastic rest of your Thursday and we will see you next week.