Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - 96 The Best of 2021

Episode Date: December 30, 2021

This week on Couple Things, we recap our favorite moments from the year! We've had so much fun over the last year and we wouldn’t be able to do any of it without our incredible community. Thank you so much to everyone who has tuned in this year. We can’t wait for 2022. In this episode, we look back at our pregnancy announcement, conversations with incredible guests, awkward moments, live therapy sessions, and more! ANDD....WE ARE GOING ON TOUR!! Check out the link below to see if we are coming to a city near you in 2022! Click here to get your tickets now ▶ https://www.couplethingspod.com/ We are sponsored by these companies that we love. Check them out below:  Zola ▶ Go to ZOLA.com/couplethings today and use promo code SAVE50 to get 50% off your save the dates. You can also get FREE personalized paper samples before you purchase.  Cuts Clothing ▶ CUTS has your holiday shopping covered with a ton of new products and special, site-exclusive offers every day in December. Plus get 15% off sitewide at cutsclothing.com/EASTFAM Modern Fertility ▶ Right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com/EASTFAM. That means your test will cost $139 instead of the several hundred or even a thousand plus dollars it could cost at a doctor’s office. Truebill ▶ Don’t fall for subscription scams anymore. Start canceling them today at TRUEBILL.com/EASTFAM. It could literally save you THOUSANDS a year. If you haven’t yet, please rate Couple Things and subscribe to hear more.  Follow us on Instagram to keep the conversation going at https://www.instagram.com/couplething... And if you have suggestions/recommendations for the show, send us your ideas in a video format – we might just choose yours! Email us at [e-mail]. Subscribe for more! http://bit.ly/3rnOdNo Follow My Instagram ▶ http://www.instagram.com/ShawnJohnson Like the Facebook page! ▶ http://www.facebook.com/ShawnJohnson Follow My Twitter ▶ http://www.twitter.com/ShawnJohnson Snapchat! ▶ @ShawneyJ Follow AndrewsTwitter ▶ http://www.twitter.com/AndrewDEast Follow My Instagram ▶ http://www.instagram.com/AndrewDEast Like the Facebook page! ▶ http://www.facebook.com/AndrewDEast Snapchat! ▶ @AndrewDEast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The recap, the best of the best, our favorite moments. It was one of the biggest things to happen on our podcast was to have them. It was truly an honor for us. Yeah. Especially like one awkward moment when Andrew messed up their age by a long shot. Yeah. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to a couple things.

What's Sean and Andrew? A podcast all about couples. And the things they go through. Today we have the end of the year, the recap, the best of the best, our favorite moments and the first episode in our new office. That's right. Welcome. You can see that we have a little different background here.

Yes. This is not going to be the finished product. No. We are using Sean's design genius to spruce things off a bit. But this is our first take. Yeah. And we're pretty pumped about it. We are.

It feels better. It sounds better. It feels more professional. We cannot wait to give you a full. tour will do maybe an episode on how this all came to be. Yeah, and I walk through of the office or something because Sean crushed it. You have a talent there. We're getting there. It's all I'm saying. It's my first time. So like there's definitely things that I don't like about it, but I can't wait to do it again, babe. In a new house, we buy for the new year. Not true. Yeah. That's not happening.

I do have to say, though, a fun experiment. If you have time and you're listening to this, if you go back and listen to our first dozen or so episodes, the quality and improvement since then is drastic. So we are always trying to change things up and make it better, more pleasant listening and viewing experience for you. So thank you for that. But before we jump into it and show you the highlights from 2021, please like the show, give it a rating and subscribe on whatever platform you're listening on. We love hearing your feedback. It's why we do what we do and getting that connection with you is like the best part of what we do. So we sent out thousands of Christmas cards to many of you. Thank you for partaking in that. And we do value

these relationships. So I feel personally, if I could just go on a little rant when I look back over the past year, I just feel grateful to be, to be honest with you. We've had so many yes, wonderful guests. You and I have had so many wonderful experiences and conversations. together because of this show. And we've also gotten so much good feedback and encouragement from you. And so we're just glad that we can, you know, take up a little bit of time each week and hopefully provide value and encouragement to you as well. I will say too, 2021 was a hard year for a lot of people. It was divided politically. It was a pandemic. There was a lot of very hard things that happened in the world and this was able to bring a light to our family and I hope it was

able to bring a light to you guys as well being able to talk to all these fun couples about fun topics about a beautiful thing which is family and marriage and relationships and yeah it just made our year a little a little bit better and it's because all of you consistent listeners that we actually had the opportunity to do that people's choice award we got nominated for that made it to the finals of that I guess And that just is personally encouraging to me because when you look at the landscape of media and, you know, the phrase sex cells certainly applies to most things on social media. And that's not what this show is about. And still, because of you, we've had some degree of success with it. So just grateful is what I'm feeling.

I feel like we're jumping straight into the episode, which I love. But I just want to like start it. So like, here we go. This is it. Okay. This is it. Great. You got to water.

You're good now? I got water. I'm good. Okay. Sean does have a little bit of cough. If you've been following her on Instagram, you know that we've been battling through sickness as we kind of sprint towards the finish line of the year. But we've talked to other couples.

We've talked to experts, like trained family and marital therapists. We did a live therapy session, which actually encouraged us to go to marital counseling because we loved it so much and thought it was so beneficial. Yeah. And I feel like with each episode, there was a unique insight. You know, we get to have these hour long conversations. And without fail, every single episode, I at least have one thing that changes my perspective, helps me build empathy and patience and love towards you. So from a personal stance, it's like positively impacted my life.

These conversations, people opening up and being vulnerable, you sharing your stories in the comments. that's, I feel like, what I learn from and how I learn best. Well, and if by chance, this is your very first episode listening to, we started this podcast because we love relationships. And coming from the public eye, we got so tired of reading tabloids and hearing stories and seeing headlines of, you know, divorce and unhealthy marriages and, like, abuse and drama and gossip and everything relating to relationships that's just ugly and I feel like we both got really tired of hearing all these stories come out that oh there's only one way to do a relationship and if

you don't do it that way everything's going to fail and you're going to have to bounce around from person to person for the rest of your life looking for the one and there were just so many like flaws in the system and so we started doing a couple things because we wanted to interview couples and professionals and all these people around the world to prove that relationships can work in a million different ways. Yeah. And to show how beautiful they can be, even though relationships are hard and they go through some very ugly times and they can go through very, you know, hard phases that that is normal and that can make your relationship even better. Yeah. And to unpack what Sean said about loving relationships, and when we look back over our life, our athletic careers,

our academic careers, our professional careers, you know, the football players I played with always say, I miss the locker room. What were they saying? They said the relationships were more important

than the actual experience. And when you look at your relationship with Coach Chow, it's like there were some challenges, there was some conflict, there was some encouragement, some shared successes and failure. And that's, you know,

going through that with somebody is the, I feel like the best part of life. And now marriage, in this aspect going through parenting and all of the highs and lows with that it's all part of the ride you know it's all part of the experience and i will never forget this is another reason why we started this podcast just a little fun story for you when and i got engaged i had a really close friend at the time who's still a close friend and i remember going on a walk with her she had been married

for a couple years and i was like okay like give it to me what what's what's coming from the engagement? What argument should I be prepared for? Is the wedding process stressful? You know, the first year of marriage I've heard can be difficult. What, like, prepare me. And I remember her just kind of smiling and she was like, oh no, me and my husband never fight. It's just smooth sailing. And I truly was so incredibly discouraged by that comment because it made me feel like I was abnormal and our relationship was abnormal because we had arguments and we had stressors and we had things that we disagreed on. So with this podcast, I have loved so much getting to know so many couples who are just like us in different ways. But it's great to feel human. And it's

great to know that the fairy tales we grew up watching aren't true. And yes, you are my like Prince Charming. but it's still hard and it's better because it is right and sharing those stories not in a way of complaining but in a way of hey we try to have like a little takeaway and this was tough but we came out of it better and that being the perspective that we always try to share so anyway there are a range of different relationships and we had a range of different guests some of them were hilarious some of them were inspiring some share their expertise dr carl pilamer still one of my favorites. I think he was my favorite.

Yeah, he's, but there's so many good ones. The shrink chicks, I think were my favorite. Or the Gottman Institute. We had a lot of good ones. It was great. And we've stayed in touch with so many of them. But all were great guests to have on the podcast. And again, we learned something from each every one.

We talked about marriage, kids, pregnancy, mental health, intimacy, anxiety, money, love languages, postpartum, boundaries, deal breakers. And we celebrated life's moments and even did a live therapy session. It was really good. Unforgettable. So I don't know about you, but I personally cannot wait for next year. I'm excited for our first episode. We're going to kind of be reviewing some of the comments and experiences that we've heard from you guys.

And we're going to be covering a lot more topics. Going to be doing some interesting things around the Olympics. Yes. And I can't wait to share that with you. We have some awesome guests around the Olympics that will be interviewing. One of my favorite couples, like I am obsessed with. them on social media. You saw them in the summer Olympics in Tokyo. I'm not going to tell you who they are, but they should be coming up in a couple weeks. Well, I actually don't know who that is,

but I'm curious. I'm curious. Seriously? But we're going to have a whole slate of fantastic guests. We're going to be sharing some clips now. And if you want to kind of dive in and listen to more of the episode, what you see, then you can find those in the playlist. But you can, yeah, today okay so if you guys are just listening to this podcast something we did special for this particular episode is if you want to jump over to YouTube we actually have video clips of the

live interviews we did with all of these couples and you can see them laugh and giggle and kind of put faces to names which is fun yeah and we will link in a playlist all of these different episodes so if you hear one that you're more interested in you want to listen to the entire thing then you could easily access that but let's just go ahead jump right in. So last year we started with the pregnancy announcement. Holy smokes. My gosh.

It was a huge part of 2021 for us. I was so excited when I found out, but I was also so shocked because if you guys heard that episode, I was in denial that I was pregnant for three months. So by the time I found out I was pregnant, I was literally three months pregnant already. It was crazy. I kind of, just by the way, that you were treated. I kind of knew you were pregnant. see i remember when i told him he was like yeah no duh you've been such like yeah i don't know moody but we are we love uh getting to share this experience with you all and we love how invested uh and each other we can be with this and i feel like my reaction could have been better to be honest with you but the one thing i won't forget is drew's response to it and she had a ping pong ball

in her mouth it was it was hilarious it was hilarious so here we go and we're teeing that up because because we are not pregnant. Absolutely not. I'm sorry. Is that a funny joke or no? But we'll keep you updated on that conversation. So that was a really fun episode. So let's show the highlights of that real quick.

But we did this past week announce that we're having a second child. We are. Two under two. Can you believe that? It still doesn't feel real to me. No, it doesn't. I just still feel like I ate too many carbs. That's how you feel?

Yeah. Like I went ham over. over the holidays. That's what I feel like. Honestly, I kept having to remind myself over the holidays. I'd be like eating cookies. I'd be like, dang, my pants are getting tight. We better slow this down.

And then all of a sudden, I'm like, oh. I'm actually pregnant. Pregnant. Which, who knows? It's a combination of both. Fast forward to November. We've tried again. I wait a week.

I take a pregnancy test. It comes out positive. And so I go down to like tell him, I take through with me. We walk in. Lexi's filming. I was like, baby, I'm just, I want to come down here. I say, I'm sorry for today, yada, yada. And also we're pregnant.

And this is what he says. He goes, I freaking knew it. I freaking knew it. The way you've been treating me lately. And I was like, whoa. I love how we get a document our life, by the way. Me too. One of the other ones that we really loved was the engagement conversation with the Lanes,

who now have a baby. Wow. Who's so, so cute. Yeah. Dutton. Talking to them, they're close friends of ours, we loved having them on as a guest and actually like hearing their story and hearing how Chris actually never wanted to get married. He never pictured himself being married or having kids until he met Lauren and she kind of like changed the whole game for him. Wow. And I think they shared their proposal in a way that they'd never done.

It was the cutest story ever. The dude wrote a song. And that's kind of how I played this out was, oh, babe, I just got a new song back that I just wrote. but I wrote this one specifically for you, and I want to play it for you. And we were there in her parents' backyard. When that song started playing, I blacked out. Like, I was about as nervous as I could be,

A, because I needed her to actually listen to the song. There is, because it was going to be a proposal in there. So when we got through the second verse and into the course, I mean, I was trembling. Like, I couldn't think about what I was going to say when I got down there. I had already, before I played this song, I ran inside, asked Lauren's mom for a pen, and I wrote down one word on my hand just in case I were to lock up and not realize how I wanted to start.

So, yeah, as it was getting close to that third verse, I whispered in her ear and I said, babe, this part's my favorite part. Make sure you're listening. And the word for right now we're back in her hometown, and I'm down on one knee. I guess she finally figured out. I'm going to ask her to marry me. She started, yeah, yeah. She started crying.

And thankfully, she said yes. Honestly, I said in that moment because, again, I was blacked out. I really hope we can have them as guests in 2022. Me too. And then one of the biggest episodes was the one about intimacy. So this was, yeah, one of the more popular episodes of last year. One of the more popular and the most recommended. I don't know what you guys want to hear, but you wanted to hear all about our intimacy.

So we brought it to you. How do you keep it alive? That's what everyone keeps asking. I think if you go into marriage or a relationship with the understanding that phases are normal, that alone, that one thought alone can keep it alive. Because if you go into your marriage thinking that your intimate life is going to be exactly what it looks like after your wedding day, you are going to fail miserably. I mean, nobody can keep that up.

I'm not saying like frequency. I'm just saying you have such this, how do I say that? Like naive desire right after you get married where it's just like, I just want to jump your bones, does it? Jump your bones. Open communication against Sean and I have one rule in our relationship and that's always be honest. We call it transparency. Transparency. And so, like, it's just that, again, that's an indication that you are able to be intimate.

Yes. Is the ability to share sensitive things like that that you might be embarrassed about. And know that the other person's still going to love you and accept you despite it. We do hope to touch more on this stuff in 2022, just more personal topics because you guys resonate with it so much. We try to talk about, you know, the sex topic, not in a generic way, but in like a, a meaningful relationship type if you want to hear that which actually we'll never talk about it

no go listen to call me daddy or whatever which is the polar opposite of what we are that is not the name of that show but we will move on so then moving on to your favorite episode potentially Dr. Carl Pilamer Dr. Carl Pilamer so

he has written multiple books that have drastically changed my life and perspective on relationships and so it was so much fun having him on and he shared some fantastic insights to hear his wisdom and all the interviews and all the research and all like his entire life's work is around his books and his data and his um research research on relationships which was so beautiful and it was just fascinating we could have talked to him for hours i also kind of feel like uh he has grandpa

vibes he for sure does but it was great so i got a lot of encouragement to go back and find really long married people so people married 30 40 or 50 or more you years and ask them about their lessons for love relationships and marriage. And at the risk of going on too long, one of the things I learned from those two books and from interviewing old people is I asked them about their regrets in life. And over and over, I heard that a major regret was a family estrangement. That when you're 70 or 80 or 90, it nags at people that their parent died before they had time to reconcile, that they got into later life or with a brother estranged or with their kids not seeing them. So each book formed its own progression and each one

has this theme of let's go ask people who've been through something and done something, how they did it and make that advice available for other people. So there's a link sort of between them. We also had the honor of having Morgan and Bodie Miller on the show. They are good friends of bars who have an amazing story but a very tragic one they actually lost their daughter to a drowning accident when she was three and they are the ones who taught us all about um infant swimming lessons yeah and kind of they just have they have a really really amazing view and perspective on life and it's so cool to see this story come full circle because they just had a child as well um so They had a girl

They had Yeah In talking with them We might even have the clip To show you guys They have so many kids And I feel like they're gonna have so many more But something that they said is

They have all boys And it was Emmy, their daughter That they lost And they said It would be so special If we had a girl To kind of like close out This kid journey with

And They did a whole Like gender reveal and it was just it was so special to see that pink come out and I feel like their story's so powerful with everything they've been through so we're we're thankful to have had them on with everything you've been through and Emmy is a great example I feel like you have experienced that you went through it and then you said this is situation how are we going to move forward and now you have directly impacted our lives and our daughter's life because we put her in swim lessons

because of your story and all the wisdom and resource that you guys have shared. And it's just I just get chills thinking about it because you've truly made the best out of a situation and haven't gotten sucked down. I'm sure there's so many complexities, but you've made a positive impact out of some complex and disappointing tough situations. I think that was it was part of the healing process was to like there's so much, that we don't know right now and I think that shed light on that sort of paradigm of like as parents we sort of already mentioned this we were chatting before like you don't really no one's prepared

no one knows what to do and there's no manual there's no book it's too it's too um in flux all the time it's too circumstantial every every decision you make every nuanced thing and you know you guys probably recognized how how fine a line you walked in your lives right one decision differently one slip differently you know one one different thing we could be in a totally different place or not be here at all and that's um definitely definitely a scary thing as a parent because to some degree it makes you feel like there's no way to prepare there's no way to to really keep your kids safe all you can do is do your best thing and for us that that was it was really cathartic to to kind of you know try to help other parents in that way like you know if we all really were super

open about all the things that, you know, we went through and information and really had a great platform to share all that, you could prevent a ton of these tragedies that parents face all the time. Sometimes it's not a death. Sometimes it's just a broken arm or something else. But like, ideally no parent wants to deal with any of that stuff. We also had the dating coach, Matthew Hussey. This guy is a legend. He is. He is a world renowned dating coach has been on all the different media platforms. You've probably heard him. on YouTube or on an interview. But he had a really new perspective.

He spends all his time kind of systematizing, dating, and like, how do you go through it? So he had some good tips, I feel like. And I hope we can do an interview with him in person. It might be interesting to do an episode where we have him do a live coaching session with, like, one of your friends who might be single. We should bring on a single. That's what I'm saying. And be like, try to match him up with someone.

Yes, Matthew, you have to come back. for that. Oh man, that was fun. There's a kind of the romantic idea that when you meet the right person, everything just clicks into place. But to me, the precursor to that is when you are genuinely in a place of wanting a real relationship. And wanting a relationship is not the same. Being ready for a relationship is not the same as being ready to not be lonely anymore. That's a very different thing. A lot of people who say they're ready for a relationship are just ready to not be on their own. That doesn't mean a relationship.

Relationship is a different level of commitment. It's a different level of investment. It's genuinely wanting to know who someone is and making peace with that and accepting that and elevating the best in that person and soothing the worst in that person. That I think is what gets so many people into trouble is that they're not really doing.

And then honestly, this was a massive, these two, this couple are Hollywood. Yeah, icons. Legends. Marlowe Thomas and Phil Donahue. I think both our moms might have had a heart attack when we told them we were interviewing them. Yeah. It was a really special moment for me because we interviewed them shortly before my grandma passed away. She was my last grandparent that I had.

And she was a fan of the Phil Donahue show. And so it was kind of like this fun recognition for her. I don't think she really fully understands what you and I do with creating a podcast. But for her to like say, oh, you talk to Phil Donahue and see the excitement in her eyes was really special. And they were hilarious. They were hilarious. We laughed so much.

So much. Marlowe never stopped talking, which was incredible. She would be my best friend. And truly, it was one of the biggest things to happen on our podcast was to have them. was truly an honor for us. Yeah, that was, that was, that was really fun. It's unhealthy not to fight. If you don't fight, forget it. You have to fight. You have to fight, you know, try not to fight dirty, but, you know, fight. Well, rumor had it that in your 41 years of marriage, you guys had never had a fight. Yeah. You're saying that's not true. You're kidding. I once asked Billy Graham

if he ever thought of divorce. He said, divorce, never. Murder. Yes. Is that a true story? No. Is that true? I love that.

That's the best thing to ever come from our show. And then next up, we had Stephen and Amanda Miller who talk about their perspective on parenting, which they parent a lot of kids. They've had multiple kids. They've adopted multiple kids. Yes. And they have, yeah, definitely unique perspective. They are a new Nashville implant, I guess you could say, and we've stayed in touch with

them. So it's been really fun to get to know them and their family. They actually came to Drew's birthday party. So I feel like the way they raised their kids is good. And we have some stuff that we can learn. Just the patience that's required, they have a son with special needs. And like to see them navigate through that is always humbling, you know, because there's unique challenges that come with that and I feel like I feel like the way they've handled that is

really inspiring I think one of my favorite things that Stephen touched on was giving your kids the honor of your eyes is life changing for them and it was life changing advice for us because he truly just says like giving them your attention can change their life forever geez it's so simple but it's it's so powerful yeah I want to go back to adoption parenting all of it But if you could sum it up, which is all but impossible, and you were to give a small glimpse, what is the one thing you would say about adoption? And what's the one thing you would say about parenting? I think with parenting, presence is the most important thing.

And the same with marriage, too. I mean, giving my children the honor of my eyes instead of the top of my. my head looking down at a phone that's a really big struggle but i think that that would cover a whole gamut of of things from from adoption to parenting to marriage to friendship to anything you know i think that's a huge thing giving your kids the honor of your eyes being present because they're going to talk your ear off and sometimes you're like i really don't care about that anime show or whatever yeah um but they do you know and when it comes to bonding with your kids whether it be biological or adopted just them knowing you really care them knowing that i would say that the four most powerful

words i'm proud of you you know knowing that you're really proud of your kids that they're knowing that their dad is really proud of them yeah you know i think i was 31 years old the first time i remember my dad telling me that and I hung up the phone and bawled you know as a 31 year old man you know yeah I was actually side note reading a Reddit post about us a habit that someone wanted to break and there was a mom of two kids who wrote that she wanted to stop staring at her phone and when their kids call her name to actually respond to them and you know some like their attention span is 30 seconds so all you have to do is be like oh yeah what's up babe um but that that really can leave a lasting impact and then this was a gosh a super educational episode for me it's squirmie and grubs love having them on

um they're a story where uh squirmie is in a wheelchair and has a unique disease that you can hear about but um i i guess i just learned some new vocabulary learned how how to talk about issues and also i mean it's just great to hear that at the end of the day they have a they have a normal relationship like you and they are they're actually YouTubers you guys so check them out they document their entire life. They answer all those questions and they're so educational about their life and their obstacles and how they just normalize everything and kind of they teach you through it, which is really cool. And also, if you want to laugh, go ahead and listen to that episode because Shane is hilarious. And the way Hannah kind of deals with that is just their dynamic

is awesome. You know, people often like to compare their lives and say like, oh, like he has it so bad, like, I should never be upset. And that is not at all the message that, you know, I want people to take away because we all have challenges. I have days, but I'm pissed off at the world, you know, or angry or upset. And that's normal. Like, we should embrace that side of being alive. But yeah, I think if you're able to reframe your adversity in a funny way, It's going to be really helpful. And then we had a baby boy's birth story. Mr. Jet James East came to the world.

Yeah. And we did a whole story on it and how magical it was. Definitely more tame than Drew's birth story. Thank goodness. Yes. But a story nonetheless. If you don't know, we just had our second kid, Jet James East. We have Drew Hazel East, who is almost two.

And we just had our little boy, which is crazy. he's huge he is literally the Hulk man um but leading up to let's start with leading up to the birth yes if you guys don't know we had a scheduled C-section we ended up or I ended up in an emergency C-section with Drew after 24 hours of labor and an induction because she was two weeks late and there were some complications I had if you want to go back there were a ton of different things but I had a two vessel cord with her there were some other like risks or flags red flags with her that that ended up being our best option. I would say also one of the big contributing factors to that is I'm six foot two. Sean is four foot eleven and the first

child was eight and a half pounds. This one was much bigger than that. We'll disclose that shortly. But the doctor said even with Drew there's no chance that baby was coming out any other way than a C-section. So we knew the day Jet James was coming unless he came early. And so leading up to it, we were a wreck. I don't know how you share all these details. You talk about it so well, babe, and I'm proud of you and how you speak about it. Like, it's, I mean, the whole thing is just a wild experience. But I love your perspective on the suffering that you go through and the process of dealing with all the changes that are happening with you and what it takes to welcome a new person into our life. There's a lot that goes with that.

So, on a personal amount, I just love being a co-parent with you. Thank you, baby. Yeah. It was really special. And Jet James, we love you, baby boy. Today's episode is brought to you by True Bill. You know what is the absolute worst. Changing Jets blowout diaper on the way to Indianapolis?

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It's so fun because this family and community we built really does feel like family. So it's just great to be able to share these special moments with you who, to whatever degree, are invested in this story as well. And hopefully you feel the same vice versa. Another favorite interview of mine was Laura Hackensackville from the Gottman Institute. They blew my mind. They were so engaging and welcoming and warm and all of their stats on marriage. It was just, it was so cool. And the one thing that I have honestly probably thought about every single day that Zach

mentions is the story that I'm telling myself is how he phrases his perspective and arguments, just having that realization that there kind of are multiple realities happening. And you can interpret something far differently than I can. And that doesn't make either one of us right or wrong. And I love this phrase. I think that Renee Brown uses it a lot. As therapists use it a lot. And it's the story I'm telling myself. And so you could start and just be like, hey, like the story I'm telling myself is that there's something going on for you. I think you're stressed out, but I'm not really sure. I'm just curious. Like, what is going on in your life? But it's so interesting because then it's like, no, there's nothing wrong with me. And then she's

like, oh, he's being defensive or like, uh, but I know there is. And then it's an argument to that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, to that though, like even that response right there was like I would label with defensive because you didn't there. If you put a pause in and you go, maybe there is something wrong with me. Doesn't mean there is. It means I hear you. I validate what you're saying. I respect that you're my partner. People pay me money and they come into my office and they take time out of their day to ask me to tell them what is going on. And we don't often get that consent from our partners. So Sean wants to come in and go, hey, here's what I think is going on. But you don't have consent yet. And so part of what you may need to do is go, hey, I have a theory. Can I test it with you?

And then he gets to go, sure, test it. And then the theory is out there. And then maybe Andrew, you get to go, oh, yeah, maybe. I don't know. I mean, I don't feel like anything's wrong, but I mean, you know me better than anybody, so I'll check it out. We also then did an episode with the shrink chicks, which was one of Sean's favorite episodes. It's kind of a live stream therapy session. And they're really helpful as well. There's just, you know, there's all these techniques and vocabulary and processes that you can learn. So I love being able to learn and listen live and then share that with with you all i remember talking to them during like our we always do like a 15 minute conversation right before we shoot the podcast and we talk through what the concepts

and the topics are going to be and i remember asking them i was like could we do a live therapy session and i just saw their eyes get so big and like so excited they were like really yeah yes and it was so much fun again i said this at the beginning um between them and the gombin institute they truly encouraged us to go to marital counseling, which we love. And we have. And we have. I think it's so great for couples.

And there's no, I mean, you know, there's a stigma, but at the end of the day, if you want a successful marriage or a happy marriage, do what it takes. Well, in between the Gottman Institute and shrink chicks, they all said the same thing. Most people go to therapy when, not when it's too late,

but when there's something so big that you have to fix. Yeah. Whereas what they were telling us encouraging us to do is go to therapy before you ever get there. Yeah. So you never get there. Do maintenance. Yeah. But we're pumped to be here. And we wanted to do maybe a live therapy session if you're okay with that. We're doing it. We are thrilled to be here. Jennifer and I are both licensed marriage and family therapists and sex therapists. We believe that relationships indicate your quality of life. If you are struggling in your life, we first look at your relationships. We believe that happy, healthy

relationships can lead into everything beautiful. And also, we believe in thinking generations above and generations down. So also what you do in your marriage is also going to indicate what it looks like for your children's marriages. And we think that that matters because your children and your children's children also deserve to have beautiful, long-lasting marriages and relationships. Wow. And really excited. And I also think we have to break down the stigma of couple's therapy in general because I think so often we believe are been taught that you go to couples therapy when there's a problem. A punishment almost. It's like a punishment or and what we know is that people tend to go to couple's therapy way too late. About seven years is what research tells us.

They always go at the point where they say, listen, this is our last stitch effort. When they come in at that point, we're like, typically couple's therapy is uncomfortable. So let's make you both uncomfortable. Yes. Speaking of discomfort. Very prepped for this in the other session. Yeah. We started out this whole interview thinking we were just going to ask you questions and now we're just going to do a live therapy session. We've also talked to a lot of fun couples from social media,

including the Scots and Caleb and Kelsey, Fulmer. Yeah. Gosh, it's fun. Those are hysterical and have such a fun personality. They talk about awkward and funny moments. And especially like one awkward moment when Andrew messed up their age. Yeah. By a long shot. Yeah. So, Caleb, you're 40, where do you, 40? Thanks. Uh, 30. Uh, 30. Oh, you're. Hold up. Hold on. I was trying to do the math.

You were way off. They've been doing, they've been married for 12 years. So I was trying to just extrapolate. We were babies when we got married. You're 34. All right. Well, it's good talking to you guys. Thank you for time. We're actually not going to be. You're 56. Yeah. And then all that kind of culminated all those episodes with the people Choice Awards, which we got to be at an event with the Rock and the Outer Banks cast and Ellen and all the Marvel people like Scarlett Johansson. And it was it was just kind of fun, you know, like it's not a necessary experience, but it was a fun one. We did sit to the very last second of the show hoping they would announce the podcast winner and it would be us. But we didn't

win. Yeah. But we do want to thank you guys because you guys are the ones that nominated us, which was such an honor and so humbling. We love doing this podcast. We want to continue growing, and we want to someday win that award for you guys. Yeah. It was an amazing night, a memorable night, and a weird night also. It's very weird.

I still don't know if we were actually invited to this thing or not. Yeah. But we didn't have tickets until we have a lot of stories. I also felt very humbled last night. I was like, you know what? Okay, we are peasants in this world. So first of all, for those, joining we're talking about the people's choice awards which you all nominated us for

yes and to some extent I feel like we let you down because since this is the people's choice awards yeah I feel like we let you down because I'm I might be biased I feel like we have the best fan base out there and we just we didn't bring it home for the peeps we didn't win we didn't spoiler alert second of all Sean looked freaking good dude you look good let's go you looked Pat, you have a great name. Oh, do I really? I'm a sure.

That's a bummer. That was a fun look back at 2021. And I would love to hear your perspective on what you would like to hear in 2022. Are there any guests that you want to have on? We already have a nice little slate arranged, but would love to hear if there's a couple that you would like to have us interview. And then if there's anything you'd like changed, maybe the audio levels are bad or too quiet. Just let us know. And John, stop coughing.

We recognize that there's always room for improvement. So I would like to do a little giveaway, though. Okay. For anyone who comments on this video with what their favorite episode was, we'll pick a winner and do a little cash giveaway. So we can learn more about that on our Instagram. If you bump over there, we can announce the winner. But comment on the video on YouTube and then go check out our Instagram and we'll let you know

who won. But again, thank you for an awesome year. thank you for all that you do to make this dream of ours sharing our life and our content a reality and it is my you know we started all this five or six years ago because I had the perspective that the more of Sean that the world got to see the better that the world would be and I think the more Andrew people get to see the better you just copied my thing I believe it you just you just copied it so we hope that that you share in that joy and you know our values here are that we have positive attitude no matter what happens that we're always striving to improve we believe that

you know sharing the good aspects of love that it's patient and kind and all of those things are really important so hopefully you glean at least that from the show and also happy new year That's all we got for you in 2021, and we will see you next year in 2022.