Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - Carlos and Alexa Penavega

Episode Date: May 15, 2025

Today we were starstruck because we sat down with two stars (who we now consider friends) Alexa and Carlos PenaVega! Alexa played Carmen Cortez in the hit film series, Spy Kids, and Carlos starred as Carlos Garcia on the Nickelodeon series Big Time Rush so it’s safe to say they’re a power couple and our inner-child was freaking out a little. What we love most about this couple is how authentic they are, even in an industry where being yourself and standing strong in your faith can sometimes cost you a job. This couple has been through so much and their unwavering peace, joy and love for one another is truly an inspiration. We could have talked to Alexa and Carlos all day, they are seriously the best. Check out their new book, “Love Is The Point” out August 22, 2025! Order Their New Book ▶loveisthepointdevo.com   Carlos’s Instagram ▶https://www.instagram.com/therealcarlospena/ Alexa’s Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/vegaalexa/ Beam Kids is now available online at https://www.shopbeam.com/COUPLETHINGS Take advantage of our exclusive discount of up to 40% off using code COUPLETHINGS Subscribe to our newsletter  ▶ https://www.familymade.com/newsletter Follow our podcast Instagram  ▶ https://www.instagram.com/shawnandandrewpods/ Follow My Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/ShawnJohnson Follow My Tik Tok ▶ https://www.tiktok.com/@shawnjohnson Shop My LTK Page ▶ https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shawnjohnson  Like the Facebook page! ▶ https://www.facebook.com/ShawnJohnson Follow Andrew’s Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/AndrewDEast Andrew’s Tik Tok ▶ https://www.tiktok.com/@andrewdeast?lang=en #PenaVegas #hollywood #faith #family #marriage #parenting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up, everybody? Welcome back to a couple of things, interviews. With Sean and Andrew. Today, we have someone who I grew up watching. Carlos and Alexa Pennevega, most widely known for being in Spy Kids. But they have created pretty much an empire when it comes to music, entertainment, TV, social. Children's book. Children's book, social content.

They are everywhere and they're amazing. That's right. And they also just came out the book called Love is the Point, which is why we're sitting down with them. They share all about their story about being in the limelight at a young age and then growing up and having now three kids together. They share the tragic story of their fourth child and we'll let them share the details of that. But really enjoyed this conversation with Alexa and Carlos Pennevega. Their book is available August 22nd. We'll link everything in the show notes down below. But without further ado, the Pen of Vegas. Do you all feel like you've settled into

a good group here? By the way, we are reporting. Oh, really? Amazing. I love it. Perfect. Oh, hey. Even better. Hello. Hello. It's happy to be here. I just changed completely. No more spot.

We're very weird. Well, this is literally how we do it anyways. I love it. The community here has been unreal. Yeah. Kind of good church. And we had good community on island, but we hadn't been back since the fire. Because we lived in Ohio, and it was just, like, too dangerous to go back.

So we were living in Hawaii during COVID, and we basically got stuck there for two years. And it's, listen, when you're stuck in paradise, it's actually not great. It was fine. But, like, they were fining people for, like, being on the beach. And I was like, dude, I can, why can't I just go? There's nobody there. So we ended up. Wait, you couldn't go outside?

No, you go outside, but you couldn't go to the beach. And if you went to the beach, you couldn't stop moving. You had to, like, be pretend jogging in place. For real. First, it was like, you could exercise in the beach, then you could exercise in the beach. Then you had to be in the water, and it was like, I just want to go to the beach. And it got to a point where all the locals were like, we're just going to go. We're just going.

They were getting fined. Like, if you brought an umbrella to the beach, it was a $4,000. I don't know. It was crazy. Yeah, you guys took up really wild. Which doesn't make any sense. I'm like, there's, like, the nearest person was, you know, 100 yards away. I'm like, I'm on, I'm on a beach.

And you're outside. Which now we know. But, but, but, but, but, but we were there for two years, kind of stuck, and we exhausted all the things that we could do. We moved. We were like, what can we, what can we do to keep doing things? And I started watching sailing YouTube channels. We've been fans of sailing YouTube channels. Well, I started really, really watching them.

And I was like, we're buying a boat and we're getting out of here and we're going to sail the world. So we ended up figuring out how to buy this catamaran and we fixed it up for two years. We never left the dock, which was crazy. then all the fires You lived on the boat while you fixed it up Full time We'll never do that again

No that sounds like my dream dude Dude no no no no no An RV or a boat That's what I want to live on Or a van No just buy one that's fixed already A four month old little girl On this boat with two

Taught like one kid could swim really well The other kid couldn't swim that well yet That's scary And we were never supposed to be living on the boat While we were fixing it up Oh gosh But it turned into us living Have you done a house renovation before?

Yes. Like have you done it where like you're involved in doing it? Yes. It's crazy, right? It is crazy. So when you go to a boat, it's just ridiculous. It's like what? And the prices, you're just like what? Like this this on land would be one price. But this marine grade would be three times the price. And you're like, well, I'll just use the one. Because it floats. It's crazy. And it got to a point where like it was just it was laughable. I was like, okay. now we've got to fix this. How much is that going to be? Oh, this little fridge is going to be. It was literally three times. $4,000. I'm like, it's literally a little camping fridge. So did you ever sail and live?

So we left the dock a few times just to go experience a day trip. How far? Day trips. Well, the one was pretty far. Because they'll see shore. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, let's back up. We're going like all the place.

I'll back up a lot. So we love sailing. Like, before we had kids, we had this cool little Bible study group. and every year Yeah well for two years Every year for two years Every year for two whole years The goal is to do it every single year

But for two years we would go out And do these bare boat sailing trips So a bear boat is where you sail the boat You do all the cooking But you just like charter the boat With no no crew And it's significantly cheaper Yeah obviously

Because I understand it But we would tell our friends Hey listen You could drift off and never come back Yeah that's true There's insurance for that So I took all my money my classes. I'd sailed as a kid, but then I, like, redid all the classes, got all my

certifications, whatever. And then I told, like, our friends, I said, listen, I'm going to, like, like, we'll pay for the boat. Okay. And you guys just get your flight and food. And we'll see you in Grenada on, you know, May 12th. So we'd all show up to Grenada. We have this, you know, boat and we would sail for two weeks. It was, listen, you would always see an island. It may be this big over there, but you would know, like, it's going to take me eight hours to get over there. And we did 200 nautical miles in like two weeks, which is not, it was a lot for us. The goal wasn't to like go out in the middle of the ocean and cross the Atlantic or something. It was just let's go sail around the islands.

And do stupid things. Like while the boat is on autopilot sailing, throw a line off the back and jump off and hang and see if we see fish. The only two people who could sail really well were hanging off the boat. And the rest of it, I was so mad because I'm like, if you fall off, like if you just accidentally let go, we're never going to. be able to turn this around. No, you can figure it out. No, because all the sails are up. So, like, yeah, I could turn, but it's all based on wind. They just didn't know what they were doing. It was only me and the guy. Or you'd have to become a fish and swim as fast as fast as. Do you have a six-pack license or what do you have? No, I just went and got all my like sailing

certification like ASA 1, ASA 2, ASA 3, whatever it was. Okay, so then fast forward, you take it up and notch, you move on, you move on, we buy a boat. It was always my dream. We buy a boat and We move in. With three kids. With three kids. That's awesome. And then her dad moved in to help because he's really good at fixing things. How many?

Give us the lay of the land. Like what square footage is not being about people? We got the biggest boat that we could afford that we could sail ourselves. Okay. It was 61 feet by 31 feet. But explain that because I never knew what that man. A 2,000 square foot house. So you like walk down and there's three bedrooms.

Huge living room. Okay. Huge living. Yeah, it was five. Okay. Huge living room called the salon. It was big. outdoor cockpit area.

It was a fly deck up top with two helm stations. Amazing. She was big. In each hole you had two cabins. Yep. So four. And then this one had a special center cabin that was for the kids right off of the salon. So five cabins, four heads.

She was a beast. I named it after my first wife. Alexa. I was going to say. Person only. I was like, oh my gosh. I didn't do enough research. Oh my gosh. I was not prepared. I didn't find it. Well, no, it does it because I was married before Carlos. He's just like, well, you were married before, so I'm just going to miss boat.

But look, hold on, hold on. I'll just, I'll speed through this. So we live on the boat. We continue fixing it. We never leave the dock. But it's fun, you know. We're saving money on taxes. So that's-

But we're still going back. That was good. Yeah. Yeah. And then the fires happen. And she has this kind of fear of like, I think the air quality is going to be really bad. Obviously, me, I'm like, no way. I'm like, I'm like, what do you mean the air quality?

bad. I already thought I was crazy. We live up like right. I mean, beautiful view. I was like, the air is always flowing. She's like, nah, no, no. So we never go back. So now we spend a whole year. And she eventually is like, look at this. And it was a, you know, a post being like from somebody who did all this research. Like, yeah, the air quality is really bad. And people are, you know, getting sick. And I'm like, oh, okay, she was right. Obviously. They're always right. And then we just, you know, one day we were praying and it felt like God was calling us to come check out Tennessee and we kind of just go when God calls us like fast so we literally that night we were talking and I was like well when do we go up it was like the day before New Year's of 2023

and we're like let's just go tonight so we literally packed some bags we got the kids in the car and we drove from Florida to Tennessee I called my ex-girlfriend she's a great realtor Cassie means or Cassie Long I should say we got to rewind she's also a very good friend of mine she's great but we became friends when I was filming Nashville out here but she's still a great realtor but she's a great realtor but she's also my really good friend

so there's no I promise it's not weird it sounds weird but it's not weird I'm not friends with her ex-husband though so yeah I haven't met him yet but we we saw some houses and then just felt like he was editing this guy no no no it's just let it run

along for the ride let it run baby let it roll but yeah so then we just looked at some houses and it was like dude are we doing this and we sold the boat Alexa was no longer and we moved here from the day you came to visit today you bought a house how long two weeks that's incredible would you live on a boat now or like a van you know van life YouTube is huge yes would you do it now and his dream is

to do van yeah I mean we do tour life which is a much bigger than a van yeah but we love it and we were just looking at boats last night I think I think I think the boat life is not done I think I think our kids need to get a little bit older and it's going to be easier. So I wouldn't say it's over. I wouldn't say it's like around the corner like next year. But I think in the next, you know, two to five years, we'll do it again. And I've learned so much. We'll kind of just, uh, let's just tie the bus together.

We'll get one. You get one. I mean, do you want to do van life? Van life where you drive the van, like that kind of van life? Yeah. Hold on. He wants to do it. Do you want to do it?

No. No. No. Not even like, have you done it. You've done it for life, right? I'll do a trip, yeah. We did an RV trip, and it was simultaneously the most stressful thing we ever done and resulted in the best memories.

Why was it stressful? But you have the best memories. They're really good memories. They're all wrapped in like stress and arguments, but it's so good. Wait, wait, wait, hold on. Why was it stressful? What happened? Is this document?

Is it online? None of the stressful parts. Honestly, we've not talked about this, but now that you guys understand. We had never even driven an RV before, let alone set it up. Yeah. We didn't know how it operated. How big was it? It was a good one.

It was a big one. It was not like a tour bus. It wasn't a tour bus, but it was like, it wasn't a van. It had multiple bedrooms and like, it had the bunk over the drivers. So we had, we had six months old maybe and he would just like crawl up there. So Q's having fun next to you know, just dropping from. And you're like, oh my gosh. There's netting.

That's what we learned. Okay, ours did not have netting. But also. But also, we were in an RV that wasn't meant to be. ridden on, ridden on, I don't know, driven? No, like ridden in while you're, oh, yeah. So like there's no AC while you're driving. Oh, you're supposed to pull it. Cool, cool, cool, cool. So I had babies. Oh, you pull it with a truck. You could drive it, but you were supposed to like attach a vehicle to it.

A vehicular device. Yeah, yeah. And we didn't really learn any of this until after the trip was over. So he's driving it. It's hot as balls in this. thing. I've got three babies, falling off of canopies and bunk beds, screaming that it's hot. He's yelling. He's driving fast. You're dodging. Hold on. I'm driving safe. The thing that really put us in, we had all the, we do sound machines and like, we're very routine-oriented people. It was a long day. Which I never saw myself as that until we became parents. That's a side note. So we park at this RV park. And like, I've never done a rig set up.

find you finally all three it was stressful what time is it 10 or something no it's like midnight okay fine okay cool so and at the time they were like just maybe turned four to an six months infant so you got to switch from generator power to plug in yeah and like in that process everything turns back on right everything shuts off it goes and it that was no no no no it didn't shut off him back on it shut off. So no sound machines. No. And then everything turns on with lights and then everything turns back off again. Great memories. Kids start crying. I was like I might murder you. I might actually murder you. Yeah. But I do like the whole approach to life of being impulsive. Oh. Or just like, hey, let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Yeah. We used to be more like that

before we had kids obviously. Yeah. Same. We definitely struggle with that want to be more like that. I think we're still really spontaneous people We are, but we're just trying to find that balance again It is harder with kids But I miss being able to be like Let's get on a plane, let's just go But I also think, mind you, following everyone And like knowing our, everyone is very spontaneous

For children. Yeah, having children Yeah Like we will throw our kids on a plane And go international tomorrow Like that's spontaneous I won't do that Really? We all will I definitely won't just say

I have been trying to get him to do something In another country that's not a cruise. That sounds so... Just kids on a plane? No, it's the greatest experience ever. Dude, dude, what are we talking? Eight hours max?

Bro. You got this. You go to Hawaii and it's a 12-hour trip back. Our kids talk about the iPhone Tower every day. Do you know what I would rather... You'd be a baby. You'd be a baby. Know what I would rather do.

I would rather buy a tour bus and hire a driver and just have like, oh, we have to go to L.A.? Great. We're going to make it a two-day trip and we're going to stop and have fun and sleep all night and then we get to LA for flying with kids oh

and our kids are good but it's the whole thing it's like it's like the whole like airport and this and then the bags and then all the stuff and it's like oh you're hungry I just want to watch my movie and I'm hungry and oh you ever go to the bathroom I'm like I'm watching Spider-Man parents don't get

a break on an airplane no because I crack up Carlos would be like hey let's watch this movie together and I'm like in what world I can't put earphones on and I crack up because he'll have a kid next to him and I'll have the other two like over here and I can hear Ocean going hey daddy the whole plane can hear him but he can't because he's like watching a movie on like Carla that's what you want to watch a movie on a plane and once you hit five kids you know like sorry a family of five you lose that three like it just or actually more than three it just becomes harder oh yeah so then you know like we can't can't book last minute trips because like my kid we all fly in coach right and in the back it's like one here one here one here and i'm like well that's not gonna work i was cracking up because like when we fly with production they'll like put us in first class which is great but then all my my three-year-old has a pod yeah and i'm like no this is actually she's like yeah living i'm looking back and i'm like no child should have a pot like i can't reach it it's actually way harder and it's so expensive

and asked me on the last flight he goes are they going to bring sundays remember how they I was like nobody no dude no dude this is not we actually learned this the hard way we flew to israel three years ago with two with only two so we didn't have three then and we got pods we splurged thinking it would be so great no not great I had both kids in my pot of course you did of course and then I have the stewardess saying ma'am your son's not buckled and I'm like he's one yes and I can't reach him yes because you put a wall up that he can control and he's locked himself in we left Canada one time

and that same thing happened with Ocean and the lady was like no he has to sit in his seat I'm like ma'am he's two years old he's not going to and I'm like fine if you're in charge of catching him when he runs down the aisle I'm good to go I'll put him in his own seat but I don't know so then they ended up bringing her like an extra thing

it loops on so that she's strapped which is a joke like that thing's not saving anybody dude are you kidding me you loop it for those that don't know what this is it's literally just imagine a seatbelt that's just a loop like the one that they do a display with and you're supposed to belt that onto your seatbelt.

So now you have like a, I don't even know, it's just a loose loop. Meanwhile, I'm watching a movie. I'm like, oh, my God. Lexi's got the kids strapped to her laugh. You're like, I'll take a champagne please. I will say, we ascribe to the free range parenting audiology more or less. Free range chickens. Okay, so explain that because I don't think that's me.

It's really not. Take the free-range chicken concept where it's like, wow, you have, each chicken has five square feet of grass that they can do whatever they want. And it's like, we just try to establish boundaries and then open up the doors and say, kids, just good for you. Stay alive. We're like that outside. I mean, outdoors, but in the airport and on the airplane, it actually creates this really interesting, like people kind of buy in to the whole thing. So our one-year-old was walking up and down the aisle with us behind them. but everyone's like kind of, it's like a team effort

because you're just letting the kid do the thing and everyone thinks it's cute. I think there's so much expectation that parents bring in to like traveling where it's like, I need, my kid can't cry. Yeah, yeah, he's kind of, it's fine. And if the more stress you apply to that situation, the more they're going to cry probably.

And then then it's tough. That's my people pleasing. Yeah. I'm the one in the enneagram. I just learned. We went over last night. It's definitely, I'm definitely one. All the things.

What are you? You're nine. Oh, me, I'm a nine. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. I actually don't know what I was like to them. I didn't know until yesterday.

So, hey. So, hold on. I will say this because there are like two ways people see it. Some people are like, demons made the enigram. I have no idea if that's true. Okay. And then there's the other side of it that I like read. It's like a personality type.

Yeah. So there's like nine personality types. And when I read it, it was like the first time that. I'm like, oh my gosh, this is the first time anybody's ever described my personality and I felt seen. So I'm not going to like worship this personality test. I'm just going to go, oh, these were really helpful tools that helped me understand why I do certain things and help me like move towards a healthier way of the way I should be approaching. And a nine is what? A nine is a peacemaker.

So the whole thing with a nine is that you see every other number clearly except for yourself. so like we can't make decisions we're procrastinators we literally get locked in our own prison because we're like well every way is a right way not just my way and I don't know which way is the right like we just get stuck in this loop and then we become inactive yeah it's really terrible let's talk about your mental health issues now oh dude it's bad it's like perfection perfection and and I am like you know she said something yesterday that I just laughed at because like you know she's reading the thing she goes a one is because everybody who meets him they're like he's not a one I'm like I promise

yo no I'm definitely after that list last night one of them was like he needs everything in the house to be perfect or else he feels unsettled and whatever and I'm like that that is so me you're tidy dude oh my gosh oh my gosh like oh my gosh like oh cd tidy like my kids I'm like stop touching the glass stop pushing the glass in the house I was like the housekeepers were here this should last two to three weeks stop touching the glass they it's It's like they want to kill me. The second the housekeepers leave, it's like, it does not look good without all the fingerprints. And I'm like, so I'm the guy.

And I'm the guy at night. I have to clean the entire, like our living room kitchen area. I have my routine. I clean it up so I can feel good and then I go to sleep. And the worst part is if I don't wake up before the kids, but sometimes it does happen. And then they're like up in the kitchen, I come up. And I'm like, why did I do that last night? Because it's destroyed.

It's just destroyed. That's my point. Like at some point, it's like that it's just not practical. I cannot go to bed with dishes in the sink. Yeah. I get that, though, with bugs and stuff. Like, yes. Smells.

It's more than bugs for me. It's like in my body. I'm like, I'm laying in bed and I'm like, it's not clean. It's not clean. Well, hold on. Well, hold on. But no, but it's because it's because I'm such a people pleaser, which is bad. I'm working on it.

But I want, but like, I want people if they come over to feel good and inviting. And if it's not clean, they're not going to like it, which they're probably not going to like me. And oh my God. And just. Yeah, I'm weird guys No, that sounds like me That's how my brain literally operates

But our mess by the way Because he's making it sound like The house is like absolutely out of the show I can actually picture your mess It's probably exactly like art A couple cups It's crumbs and cups That's the mess

And maybe some jackets It's not like there are toys everywhere Or like paint Like it's not even that Yes, us too Yes, one room And the pile is like This big four kids

are very minimalistic. No, it's because one toy, you know, one toy becomes ten toys in a week. And I'm like, why did you break all the wheels off? Yeah. And they're everywhere. So every few months, we go, which is a trash bag. Oh, yeah. And I'm like, we haven't bought them toys.

How are there still toys when we keep getting rid and getting rid? Because they have sweet godparents too just send, send toys. Describe your parenting style, though. My parenting style. Well, how do you go first? We're both Hispanic. So we're tough. We're really tough on our kids, but they do get a lot of freedom.

So our kids, when they go outside, it's like, do whatever you want, as long as you're being kind to one another and not hurting each other. We are all about like, it's okay. If it won't kill them, if it's a little dangerous, it's okay, as long as it won't kill them, then like, we're good. But we're pretty strict with them, very loving. Like, we're not like the free parents where the kids like, no. And we're like, okay, I'm sorry, you're feeling that way?

I'm like, absolutely not. You're not saying that to my face. but I feel like we grew up in the generation of just kind of like do as I say but there was never an explanation so like I try to get on their level as much as possible and explain like hey we're not doing this but I'm going to explain why we're not doing it and whether you could grasp it or not I'm going to explain it to you yours is a little different though really yeah I mean I'm pretty much with you I want to hear how you are no I mean I just I demand excellence I'm kidding I'm kidding I'm joking

I was in I was like I was in I was like insane no like if they make a mess they have to pick it up

I'm not gonna like clean up after them so I like if they're eating you know those like little rice cakes slip and get everywhere and I'm like

oh my gosh now I'm like hey you guys you see this mess you guys have to pick it up I don't want to pick it up I'm like well guess what you're not going to do

anything until it's picked up so like I am hard on them with responsibility because I feel like that's how they're going to learn. It's like, I'm not going to just do everything for them. What's really interesting is that our kids are great outside of the house. Like every time they go out, people are like, the best being kid.

They say, yes, sir, yes, ma'am, this, that. And I'm like, what kids are you guys talking about? Because when they come into our door, I swear, they're like, oh, I don't have to be that person anymore. And they're crazy. But I'd rather them be great when they leave. And then at home, that's their time to just, like, let loose and learn more about themselves and their emotions and I mean I'm still growing as a parent as a parent so this makes

sense because I was curious you said you're not a free range parent which whatever there's different definitions or amounts of that you say we're a free range parent that's exactly how we parent yeah I think that well we we expect a lot of our kids yeah yeah we read your book ocean's world to the kids no way it's like this story of all these these kids going out on an adventure to find what is the sunrise show yeah I love you know this sunrise show I was like man These parents, actually, let me be a parent like that. Get the kids out the door, go find the seashell or whatever. We love outdoor time.

I think that's why I love the boat so much because we all got to really, they were too young to like raise the sails and do stuff like that. But like I like being in the house is cool. But going outside and getting dirty, I love that. You know, she's always been one like if they go out and get, you know, covered in mud or whatever, all right? I'm like great. Some of my favorite memories.

I'm like, as long as it's not in the house, I don't care. You know, go ahead and do that. So I guess in that sense, we are free range. Yeah, yeah. I want to talk about hospitality because it's in your book. Love is the point about, yeah, yeah, it's great. This guy plugging, thank you so much. This book is a daily devotion or a journal?

It's like a challenge almost. I mean, so we wrote our first book and this was like a follow-up, but like to start challenging people with questions that they could pursue every single day. So it's like a 100-day challenge. And honestly, it's not because we haven't figured out, but it's because, like, we need to still challenge ourselves daily with some of these questions. And I like it because you can do it for 100 days, but then you could start over and then do it again because you're learning something new every day. Describe hospitality for me, though, as you see it. You, Carlos.

I love serving people. It's a pro and a con for us, but we really put other people before our needs a lot. Sometimes we should take care of ourselves, but we just really like serving people. making sure that they're covered in every aspect so if somebody comes over you know we're just like what do you need and it's like let's just hang it's like are you sure i got beef sticks i got some really great beef sticks you're gonna love actually really good for you they're like okay i'll try beef sticks it's like it's like fine i'll eat the beef stick um do the expectations of having a clean house and having everything because honestly i feel like this is a difference between

sean and i that we've compromised on greatly where i'm like i see hospitality as let's hang out with as many people as much as possible and my route to do that is let's have them help with the dishes or let's like it doesn't need to be clean otherwise we'll never have people over ever

and like yeah I'm working on that and I'm sprinting behind them just cleaning the joke for us is that I always relate to the husband and he always relates to life this this one person told me a friend of ours was like she's just like us I guess and she's in her like late 50s I guess now stuff right yeah I'm sorry Steph if you're listening to this

she's 90 years old no she's awesome but she's like us and she's like I had to realize now that I have grandkids and everything I can clean later yeah and she would just miss all these fun moments these parties she would just be cleaning and making sure everything was good and that's that's me to you know to a T is like I just I want people to have a good time And I feel like if it's, if the environment's clean, if they have what they need, then they will.

But also me inside, I'm like, I got to clean. I got to keep doing this. So I have to force myself to go, let me just enjoy the, it's two hours. But I actually found that I don't know if that's like a parent thing, like something that happened. Maybe maybe just for me as a mom. But I wonder if it's your out out too. When we're cleaning, it gives us something to do. And then you don't really have to interact.

even though you want to interact like the other day I went to a baby shower for this woman and I didn't have any of the kids with me and I genuinely did not know what to do with myself because I'm so used to have

like having to go back and forth that I had an uninterrupted conversation and I was like I don't know what to do so I told Carlos I'm like I just kept grabbing carrots I just kept eating because I was so embarrassed and then she got really stinky for it and shut up and then I was just

I just genuinely didn't know what to do. And I had to, like, call myself out. I'm like, what is wrong with me that, you know, in this setting, I feel totally great. Because this is what I grew up doing. But, like, if it's all of us just hanging out out there, I'm like, what I do with my hands? Like, it's just so weird for me. And I don't know why. Not to put you on blast, babe, but you have that same thing.

Yeah, I have to be like, I'll go tidy up or I'll like. Yeah, you just busy yourself. And I'm like, but why? I'm missing the connection that I deeply crave because, like, I'm, want people around all the time he's like I think he wants it but the stress of the OCD stuff comes up yeah so he's like we had a pretty cool revelation the other day actually I did EMDR yesterday yeah what's about is that a hardcore drug or kind of a just oh my god but it's over the counter I've heard amazing things no but it was it was really cool and I'm not that guy who like likes

that kind of stuff yeah literally he texts me when I told him that I have booked an EMDR session for the both of us together because I did one after indie it was unreal like super healing um so I'm like I booked one for us and he literally texts back please I will do anything like do not like I will I will I will shut up I'll do whatever you say I'll do whatever you want I do not want to have to do it wasn't about like our marriage it was more of just like let's do a check in because yeah because look no one's perfect like we all have triggers that make us do things yeah we just want to make sure that we are approaching everything healthy and understanding of each other so we go in and dude i did four hours on my own describe it it felt like 30 minutes i mean i don't know if this is the right

definition of it but basically she um it's usually used for uh PTSD yeah and she was doing different things to like distract my brain and keep it present while running through you know old memories and like releasing these memories and digging and it was funny because i've i never talk about my past i'm just like whatever my childhood overdone Like in my head, it has no effect on me. And I can change anything I want because I'm strong. And it was like, man, it was almost as if there was like this, this jar. And I've always felt this pressure to open it.

But I never was like, why am I going to open it? And by doing this, we opened the jar and then we just like went into this jar. And it was like, I was remembering things from like good memories and bad memories that I hadn't thought about in, you know, decades. And I was like, whoa. And she's like, okay, let's stick on this for a second. It was really hard to stay present and just like be there. but for me she was using her fingers going back and forth and I would follow it with yeah and it would just help my brain stay present and man it was amazing interesting it was it was it was it was it was felt like 30 minutes but it was four hours wow I have thoughts on the MDR because uh please because my brother did it he had he had some tough experiences that did it work for him yeah and so he changed his life yeah crazy the way he described it was like all these things that happen to you get stored in filing cabinets right yeah there's like kind of there's kind of filing cabinets that have positive

connotations and some that have negative connotations so it's like hey when i see a german shepherd like that's in for me i have like a negative experience with a german shepherd so it kind of triggers all these different things but they use eye movement to almost like reorganize it seems yeah but here's my thesis on this because i'm actually really interested in how that works first the the mind middle of a dissertation in psychology so oh okay great deep into it wow so you're also smart You're a catch, bro. Let's go. He's very smart.

I'm very impressed. Mind-body connection is super interesting and so powerfully displayed in that. But also, in regards to faith. So I lost my dad two and a half years ago. And the first thing I did was like pray. And then I listened to a worship song. And then I was able to think about all these conversations I had with my dad around these high-level beautiful topics like faith and legacy.

and love and all these things. And it took this experience that for many people as traumatic or like, oh my gosh, it has so much negative energy around it. And it reorients it, like immediately live in the moment, faith and places it in like this, hey, in a good bucket. I don't want to say positive,

but like you're able to cope with it in a way different way. It goes back to the Bible verse, consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds. And like he means it. When you think, like, you read that and you're like, oh, that's a really nice verse until you face adversity. And you're like, how the heck is somebody going to picture this to be joyful? And we walked through that after Indy. And even though it was horrible, like I wish we could go back and change it, it actually was the closest I've ever felt to God.

It was the closest I ever felt to our family. And that verse suddenly made sense in a way that I could never explain it where that became a really joyful moment, a really like, spiritually awakening moment and I feel like for you it was kind of the same thing like you were worshipping and and like you got to actually lift your dad up and you actually got to experience this almost like head like the sliver of heaven that was really joyful even though it was painful yeah it's like it's an added layer or lens to view reality that's incredibly like all of this is just like stories we're telling ourselves, right?

Like, hey, does Carlos like me? I don't know. He kind of, he did this with his eye about it. You know what I'm saying? But it's like, but like the narrative of the faith is like, okay, it gives you a template to tell these really meaningful, powerful, like, hey, the story's not done yet or this isn't over yet. Or like, this is for a, which is so amazing.

And I don't think that's a purpose of faith, but is an amazing derivative effect of, like, honoring God. Yeah. It's like, he blesses you with that ability to see things differently. Yeah. I find it really interesting how all these memories that are stored in different buckets have an effect on our on our body Like yours were stored in different body parts. Yeah like like I kept having this like every time I'm a very anxious person with certain things and I love planning like I love being like okay cool financially we're good for you know a year. Okay cool. I don't have to worry about that and a job and this and that and when and when my plan starts like crumbling which is funny because I'm like

God's like, hey, just like, do you have what you need for today? Okay, so you're good and have faith that I got you. When that plants start crumbling, I get really anxious and I, dude, I get this tightness in my chest and yesterday we were going through a bunch of stuff I had this tightness in my chest

and she was like, okay, well let's just sit here for a second. And we were able to find another place in my body that I didn't have that and I was seeing like these blues and stuff So then she was helping me She had me connect these like Strings to try and like move stuff around

And once we store the stuff in a new bucket It was amazing that tightness was gone I was like man Like trauma really does live in our body And I mean I don't know is for a fact But I feel like all of these things like You know when someone has a traumatic experience

And then like two years later Maybe they you know Are diagnosed with cancer and this that I think there's there's got to be some connection to all of this because if the body's not working properly and things aren't flowing and doing stuff yeah you know bad things are going to come in and you know start you know getting infected or this and that sorry and I know we're like going all over the place but I even I go back and I think of like okay we weren't raised in the way that we're living our lives now we weren't raised with that kind of faith

we weren't raised with the community that we have and really when you look at like biblically we were supposed to have these tight-knit communities that just loved on each other that supported and like really were life-giving. So when you don't have that, you're growing up, like, harboring all this stuff that you were never able to release or have somebody walk you through. And then you basically live with like carrying all these bags forever. So like now that we are in the place that that we're at, like really, I just feel so blessed to be where we are. But we still have all this old stuff that still has to get dealt with. So even though we're fine now, it's just old junk that we still have to like push off of us that as Carlos was saying, he like had kept in a jar and didn't even realize he had kept in

this jar and that was like exploding inside of him. So I don't know. I feel like if you are growing up in like a beautiful faith-filled community where you're experiencing like, hey, you don't have to hold back your emotions. You can actually go to somebody and talk to them about what you're going through. I feel like it's so different. And I don't know if this is making sense, but I feel like it's so different than like what we had to walk through because we're now in a whole new chapter of life where we have community, have our faith, we have our family, but we still have all this old junk that we've got to like scrape off. Is there like a thing that you have to do every year that kind of like makes your body like, I don't know, tense? Or like maybe like, you know,

when you were, you know, competing, like would you get nervous before? Because I, actually, here's a better one dancing with the stars we we can sorry yeah yeah but we can three of the four of us can I'm on a lifelong campaign I want him on come on dude you guys can talk about your great let's go no but we those five seconds before every performance moment and you're sitting there and you're like in your pose my stomach would get wrecked because because just of like nerves right and like for me it's my gut has always been my issue like if my emotions or my emotions or off my gut my gut my gut my gut my gut so for me i have to figure out a way because like i i'll go and uh you know there's some things that i have to do just annually just work wise and i just i can't stand it

every time i do it i get sick my gut goes crazy and it's just my emotion like that's where i just carry that emotion and i and i'm i'm trying to figure out how to how to not get that because it's literally without fail i go and do this thing i call her and i'm like yeah i'm a wreck i'm constipated again like I can't do this I'm gonna get sick and she's like okay calm down we're gonna fix this so it's like I really do believe that our body and our emotional well-being and state is so well connected and maybe you can figure that out for us in your well no have you read mansurts for meaning or no well it's all about this guy who survives concentration camps and he's a psychologist and like does this whole analysis of what he saw in there after he got out and

the whole thing is like if you saw that your life had a purpose still in that concentration camp you lived and he tells all these stories of like hey we thought we thought we would get out on may 1st may first came and came and went and we did not get out of the concentration camp and then those people died that like that was their finish line because that was like their whole purpose that's what they could their bodies gave up but then there's all these studies on you know people retire from work this is separate from that book and then they did yeah yeah and it's like okay so purpose or that that tie is very real dude and then the community aspect it's crazy there's a book called the body by bill bryson phenomenal but he talks about you're just going to send you a list of books

i love that you're a reader because i'm not well he reads a book well he don't say a book a day yeah i don't but they talk about these telemures which are like kind of formational to yourselves and if you have community like if if the elderly have community and they spend time with the younger people, their telomeres stop shortening, which then correlates to longer life. And it's like, dude, this is just. But like at a cellular level, it's crazy

dude. But see the importance of community? Yes. And like, I feel like everything we do nowadays is to seclude ourselves. So interesting. Like, we have all our phones and it connects us with everybody, but we're actually so unbelievably secluded. What about if I hang out with people with like a lot of hair?

Whether I help my hair loss? Yeah. No. We live in the 21st century I should have friends I should have friends I'm like babe if you're really worried Like go do like I'm not I'm not getting airplanes

No way that can't be good Wait just join the All the guys in Turkey That's what she said That's what I just said I was like you don't have to take the propitia You don't have to take all this stuff I'm like just

Just go I'll start with neuterful I'll see what happens I want to talk about this Because I don't know if I know your pregame jitter coping mechanisms or like the butterflies How do you deal with that

how did you? Sean's a freaking stone cold killer dude I was gonna say I'm like hey do you get nervous she's like no she's crazy getting nervous we'll do like a speaking event and I'm like I'm like I'm like all nervous before and I look at Sean and she's like

why are you being such a baby and I'm like all right I'm freaking I'm I am a chronic compartmentalizer so like before anything that makes me nervous I shut down so like if you were to ask my parents

because I was a child during my career they always knew like competition day this the minute I wake I waked up geez my vocabulary you still a child you should a child in the minute I woke up I would not talk that whole day like don't talk to me don't look at me don't ask me a question like I am just quiet and I am like in myself in my body yep and it's not because I was thinking about the day is that I was truly thinking about nothing yeah Because the second I would start thinking about something, I would get so nervous, I would literally start shaking. Like, before I go do like a keynote speech, I literally will catch myself like your teeth chitter, like chattering.

Yes. It's like your body just shakes with the adrenaline and like the shock and nerves. But if I can literally shut off emotion and like take a deep breath and go numb, which maybe doesn't sound healthy. I should probably talk about this someone. But I had this way of if you were to watch my conversation. I was known for this. He's never seen them. And they thought, yeah, he tried he tried that for a while. He tried telling me that for a while and then confess that he did I think it took you over a year to say we're digressing My competition routine is like if you watched on TV or something all of the USA team would be like together and they'd be talking and they'd be getting ready and I would be off in a corner Like every single time and it was always just this like numbing process of like just shut yourself out from the world. Yeah,

Which isn't good. But that's how you learned to deal with something scary. Yeah. Your body was like, I physically am going to go insane. So this is how we're going to cope with it. But it is really interesting because, like, I can deal with, like, trauma well because I go numb. As parents and stuff. We've taken our kids to the ER for 18 stitches to the face.

And like, yep. But it's like the second that happens, literally. Are you? The same kid every time. 18? He had 18 in his eyebrow. He had nine in the underlayer and the nine on top. Oh my gosh.

For the second time. Who's the blood parent though? Like I can't do blood. Me. No, we both are. We're both fine. Yeah, we're both. Oh, no.

I'm like, is it okay? Is it okay? But it's like I thrive in that environment. Same. Like I go void of any emotion. I go void of like, it's like, here's what we're doing. Is that thriving though? You're operational.

I feel nothing. I'm operational. What's your definition here? I thrive. I'm doing so well in my... I have no emotion. I have no memory. I won't even remember this.

I think he's actually interesting. Are we done? I want to talk about this because I want to... I think there's a lack of information on how people can deal with the pregame jitters. And my technique, which I've grown to love that feeling, I used to hate it. I used to dread that anxiety or just that like your palms are sweating and you can't think about it. And you're just like so nervous. I was a long snapper.

And so there would be these game winning field goals. You got to go out and you're in front of 100,000 people. And like the noise is. And I used to dread it. But now as I get older, like you just realize those moments are fewer and far between. Like there's just less opportunities to feel that. I think as I progress from my NFL career is more of like a understanding of like, oh my gosh, wait. I'm in my pocket right now.

I'm right where I need to be. This is a sweet spot. I had to fight the terror that comes with that. But my coping mechanism was like distraction. So I would be like, right, and I figured this out four years into my NFL career, that like instead of just fixating and ruminating on the thing that I was about to do is like, hey, let me do as many other things as I can. I'm going to do like the exercise bike.

I'm going to go dab up with all the teammates. Distraction. Yeah, yeah. We were the opposite. But ultimately, I think it was like founded in this concept of like, trust like hey I know what I'm doing like I just have to let my body do the thing that I've done thousands of times you've done the dance routine thousands of times and it's more of like a okay let's just go let it fly baby so I don't know I'm not recommending that but it is

interesting to compare and contrast because I was like I would be trying to talk to as many people about like I know hey we have a gambling field goal in like five seconds but how's your daughter doing she good like you know like let's like just what are you talking about yeah I think it's interesting because after, and I'm just going to use Dancing with the Stars, just because I feel like we can all get that. During Dancing with the Stars, I would be so nervous. We'd hear those beeps. There was so much pressure, all this adrenaline. Then I went back to visit the next year.

And I looked around the room and I'm watching them do the same thing. And I was like, what? And I'm not to put Dancing with Stars down. But I was like, what a dinky little thing. Why was I so stressed about this? Why didn't I just have fun? Like, how much better would it have been if I was just like, who cares my mess up? Like, it's still going to be fun.

Like, we get to do this. Hey, we're dancing in front of all these people. How stupid. Listen, if they called us back for an all-star season? I'm ready. She did an all-star season. How was that? It was exactly what you said.

It was just so much fun. See, that's what I'm saying. Call me, DM. And like, you could work harder because, like, you didn't care as much. And that's the thing is like, yeah. So I feel like the question. like that we really should be asking is like this is not a book plug I promise like but like what is the point yes like what's the point of it because at the end like whether I win or lose is the point

truly to win or is the point to like go out there have fun and like yours yours was about winning like you you had to go win I'm talking about like Olympic stuff but at the end of the day like what's the real point if we're going to look at it like from like a faith standpoint I mean the point is to go out there and be a light. The point is to go out there and show what, like, the kingdom looks like here on earth and to be loving. And I feel like if I'm in this place where I can't even feel his peace in a moment, I'm like, then I've missed the point.

And I'm putting, like, winning on an idol or I'm putting, I'm just making that thing my idol. And I think that's where, like, all that anxiety comes in. And that doesn't mean that we can't get nervous. Like, nerves are just going to happen. but I feel like that perspective switch of like, well, what's the worst thing that happens if I don't go out and I'm like perfect tonight? Well, then I get less points or I lose.

Is that the worst thing that can happen in my life? No, I'm still alive. Like I'm still going to go live and have a great life. But we just put this pressure on ourselves that's like, we have to do it. And I can't imagine the pressure you were under because that's a whole different, like, being the best is something in the world is like something. I can't bathe them. But yeah, like at the end of the day, like, unless it's the worst thing that happens is I die, then our anxiety should not be that high.

I think it's like a black belt approach to life where it's, my comfort is not the main point. So it's like you should maybe put yourself in positions where you're like uncomfortable. It's not the outcome, but all of those things actually get unlocked in a really interesting way when you're like, hey, let me just put this in its right place. And then I can go out and do this the best I can. I feel like y'all's story is interesting. Back to the social, you know, eating carrots. You guys kind of have parallel experiences of being in the limelight at a young age. One, I went to college.

I did like the whole football team. It was a team sport. I did like a fraternity there. I was so used to just like meeting random people and then you got to do that thing. Sean would always meet random people. And first of all, the interaction is always like, there's three topics of conversation that, hey, how was the Olympics? What was dancing and started? Whatever.

Yeah. And it's like, so that. that adventure of a new interaction is not there for her because it's like pretty predictable yeah and so she she kind of just gets antsy she doesn't really like sit in the moment and so she'll shana like dance if you're doing or she'll like say i got to go clean something or i got to go get the kids yes oh someone's i'll get you a drink oh you want something yeah yeah oh no i'll get it i got i got it meanwhile i think like it's it's the greatest joy in life to meet someone new and you're sitting there you're like huh what are you about you know it's like

let let let's figure the job that would be like I want to be that person but we crack up because if you were to go do that to Carlos or or myself we are the people that were like oh they're asking this question so then let's just keep talking and then we don't stop talking and we're going to fill the time because if there's a little bit of air it's not good like but but I can relate to her because most of the thing you have something on your eye oh good most this is a sweet moment. I should have done it a little gentle. Most people that like come and talk to us, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,

it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, which is fine. Um, but I do, I do enjoy new experiences, especially with people who don't know. Yeah. Our history. To me, that's fun. Like, we love cruising. That's, like, a huge, I mean, like, that, that's, like, that, that's, that's, like, go-to vacation. And I just love sitting at a bar and just, like, talking to random people, even if they're just like, you know, Carlos has a bunch of like 70 year old friends. Yeah, yeah, Mary Ann. Actually, you know what?

On this last cruise, on like one of the levels, this one couple was there every day. I'd go get my coffee and they were there every day for the whole cruise. And I said, if they're there on the seventh day, I'm going to sit down and I'm going to say, what's your story? Yeah. And sure enough, I went and I said, okay, like Carlos, gross and balls, let's go. I sat down and I said, hey guys.

And they were like, they were old guys. I was like, you know, I've seen you every single day. What's your story? And we sat there and talked for like 30 minutes. minutes and it was awesome yeah they knew nothing about me I knew nothing about them and I found that really refreshing yeah I'm trying to describe this to my five year old because you just described you still had the nerves as like gross and balls yeah it's like I think that exists in all new social interactions just what do you do with that and my five year old is like pretty shy I'm trying to

teach you like hey you're shy she's shy so if you go out and like you're really warm to these people you kind of just like you melt that uh that shyness right away and then all of a sudden you You can smile and life and make fun of whatever. So it's like it's interesting to try to. Well, it's a fear. It's like for me it's a fear of of being liked and rejection. Our industry is all rejection. You know, like for every hundred nose, maybe you get one yes.

And you finally got the job. And it's like, yo, but I took 99 nose. You're just too short. No, the acting wasn't good enough. A little too Latino. A little too Latino. Like it's just a bunch of nose and you kind of have to throw them off. So it's like that fear of rejection, I have a little bit of a fear of safety.

know if someone doesn't like me like maybe they'll come in like you know hurt me or like hurt my family which is crazy about the brain like we have those thoughts in a split second that's one thing that is different from us she'll have an idea and I'll go through 20 different scenarios in a split second and then I'm like ah it's not a good idea and she's like well I mean but we can do this I'm like yeah but yeah but how about this well and she's like how did you think of all that and I'm like it just happens just I can run every but it's that fear of like well if we do this and this and this happens and this and this it's not a good idea. come to our house and kill us and kill us not really but does carlos have conversations with

himself because i mean he talks a lot so yes i love talking shan'll ask me a question she'll be like hey what are you going for dinner tonight and then it'll be like two seconds you know a reasonable amount of time for me to think and she'll like no no i know you don't like they or like she'll start having she'll have had this whole dialogue in her brain i'm like yes that's i gosh i think are you a dude or am i chick this is so weird i go through 5,000 scenarios yeah like this yeah Man, I feel so seen, everyone. This is great. We should hang out more.

We should. We also need to get our babies together. Yes. Look, we'll have the kids as like a buffer so that we can keep ourselves busy and I'll put carrots on the table. Okay. Even better. Oh, no. She gets gassy.

We can't do that. We can't do that. Are you guys trying to end this conversation? No, no, no, no, no, no. We have had them an hour just letting you know. I was still running thick of them. I know, but we do need to respect their time. Whatever you want.

No, you guys, we're fine. We're fine. Yes, it's more about you guys. This is a vacation right now. I know. Everybody's watching your kids. It's adult conversation. Okay, so you've written several books.

What sparked writing this one? So there was, what if love is the point? Yeah. And then what if love is the point? So basically, you just said the same book twice. Listen. Linda. I'm trying to do that.

Listen, Linda. So what happened was, after we did Dancing with the Stars, that was the first time that, like, we were really outspoken about our faith. also we did it together and competed against each other but we really wanted to like rebuild our brand as like this married couple Lex and Lowe's and our teams at the time were like this is not a good idea separate yourselves

don't like because we'd already taking each other's last names and made one last name and it was like no this is your career Alexa Vega calls split split but we wanted to join together so after dancing with the stars after all that we sat down and we kind of made this list of questions like what's the point of this what's the point of this What's the point of, you know, sex before me? Like, like, why don't people have sex before marriage?

Like, like, why do, like, basically it was like every question that we had. And then we were like, maybe this could be a book. So we sent it off to somebody. Nothing ever came of it. Okay, thank you. And randomly one day somebody was like, hey, I, you know, came across this thing. We should dive in and see if this would be a good book. Oh, wow.

So these questions, this list of questions became this idea of, hey, maybe, you know, maybe we can do something. So the devotional actually was the initial. idea but they wanted more of a the you know publisher wanted more of like our story and everything and i mean i guess it was a memoir um like what got us to this yeah yeah so so this this was really exciting for us because we i don't know i feel like a book is really cool but a devotional is something that like it can become a habit every single day like let me dive into this every single day well it goes back to like it actually gives something back like it's helpful versus like here's our story yeah no like i want to i want to i want to

improve somebody if I can. Not that I want a project. I don't know if that makes sense. But like, yeah, I want to help. Question for something. The marriage dynamic of dancing with the stars. So you said you had your teams to a certain extent. I don't want to say against your marriage, but a little bit trying to like wedge themselves to keep you separate and individualized. Then you go on a public TV show where you're competing against one another. Oh yeah. With partners. Oh, girl. Oh, yeah. How did that go? So at the time, I was actually really Tread lightly. I was actually,

no, I think we go there. You were on before us, right? Yeah. Yes. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I actually was really excited for it. At the beginning, I had never watched the show. So I knew my mom did, so I wrote her and she was like flipping out.

So we decided to do it and we got our partners. But we were stoked because we're like, we're the first married couple and we can work together with our partners and it's going to be like the greatest thing ever. All we wanted to do was get to the finals together. support each other, but everybody was like, no, stay apart, compete against each other. And at the time, we were like still fresh in our marriage and like baby Christians. So we were like just growing in this. And Carlos was a very jealous person back then. He's not anymore. But thank God he was in the same dancing scenario because had it just been me dancing by myself? Were you guys together when

you did it? No. Oh, dude. Because it's a very intimate thing. And also, you know how flirty everything is. And they're like doing like samba and like on the hips. And I saw that. And I saw boundaries. And it's just, yeah, it's a lot. But I just remember that whole season. I just felt like I was navigating his emotions.

And then he picks up dancing a lot faster than I do. So he'd be done with rehearsal in like six hours. But I'm like, I still need like four more hours. He's like, what do you need four more hours? So like I felt like that whole season plus anxiety. it was just there were fun moments but I wish I could have a redo and just be like

yo chill let's figure out the situation with these people and like let's go have fun because it was really hard it was really hard on my heart probably the hardest thing we've ever had to do because we don't you know there's just so much pressure

you want to stay in you know you want to look good you know like Gary Busey was on our season I was like I at least have to beat Gary Bucy if I don't beat Gary Bucy If I don't be Gary Busey, we got a problem.

He was amazing, by the way. He stayed in. He stayed in for a long time. He would do these things where, like, he would call us into, like, his room. Carlos, come here. And we'd come in. And I'd be like, yeah. And he'd be like, ah.

Get out of the room. Get out of the room. And then we would leave the room. And then you would hear him be like. I was walking down the hallway once. And like, he was, you know, about to pass me. And all of a sudden he just goes, oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.

And he just would keep walking. Yeah. I think they kept him on. I think the producers kept him on because after he finished his dance, he would say the craziest things and it was always like, what's Gary gonna say tonight?

Gary, how was your dance? Oh, my gosh. Yeah, it's pretty wild. Paula Dean was in our season two. Oh, yeah. Chaka Khan. It's just wild because like you would never, I mean, you know, like,

I would never be in any circle with these people, but then you all, like, we experienced that together. And sorry, dude, but But only people who've done the show We're calling Dina Katz right now So only people who have done the show

Can really like understand what that experience is like Yeah Because it sounds corny but it's it's crazy Just yeah Is it so much fun? Thank you for reiterated I remember she was like I was so nervous doing the show Every time and she's just so dumb I'm like all you guys had Mark

How cool is that? I know You guys should do a podcast We all had Mark We all have. Sorry, guys. Why is it important for people to focus on God? Oh, bringing it back.

We're, yeah. We're going there. Good, I love it. I can't talk dancing. Sorry, bro. Wow, we're shifting gears, everyone. No, I love that. You go, you go, because I want to hear what you have to say.

Like, our faith has got us through the heart, the most difficult times in our lives, especially with, which we haven't really talked about, but we um how do I say this so we have four kids actually three earthly and one heavenly and um

in March of 20 at April of 24 Alexa gave birth and it was a still birth and it was like I mean just something that you'd never think would ever happen um and we were just I think for us

like that is like in our life like the hardest thing that we've ever had to go through yet we have so much peace about it and I can only give the glory to God. So for me and my experience, like having that relationship with God, it really

helps you get through those tough moments which everybody has tough moments. And that being our toughest moment and the fact that we're here talking about it now and she's not crying. I'm like, man, like... I'm just kidding. Yeah. Would you mind Sharon? Yeah. Oh my gosh.

Of course. So you would mind? No. I mean, I will happily talk about it. No, but I just want to go back to God real fast. We are in, not that self-help is bad. I feel like understanding yourself is very, very important and being aware of yourself is important. But I think we're so self-focused and we have like the most insane depression rates in

people, comparison rates in people, like all this stuff like where nobody's actually happy. And I think, you know, one of my friends, my best friend, Andrew, he used to be very, very depressed. And it was before he truly has the faith that he has now. And I'm not saying that Christian people can't get depressed, 100% Christian people can get depressed. But it's when he was so inwardly focused that he would fall into these bouts of depression. But when he started giving his life to serving others and actually like meeting the needs of others, whether it was like with like homeless shelters or like kids in need or mothers in need like whatever it was

he suddenly found a purpose in his life that it like sparked a light in him and and I feel like everything changed for him when he found God because God like the kingdom became the purpose like God like you have a purpose for me you want me to like go out into this world and do something just use me use me and I think the problem is we're so focused on how not how we can use others but like what can I gain what can I gain what can I gain versus like how can I be used how can my life have more purpose and I feel like God directs all of that and when you realize everything's out of your control anyway and it's all in his control there's just a lot more ease of like I don't have to have it all figured out I don't have to do all this in my

own strength. Like, there's actually a different source that I could, like, garner some extra umph from. And once I, I personally kind of got that, I felt like I almost unlocked a superpower. Not that I'm like superhuman or anything, but because I can access his strength and his peace and all of this stuff, I know I'm not untouchable. Like, this is coming from a woman who lost her child at birth. And yet, even. in that moment, I was still like, oh my gosh, God, you still, even in this, you're still doing something so wild and miraculous that I couldn't even put words to it other than it felt like a sliver of heaven here on earth. And I don't know how somebody would walk through, whether

it's that, or, you know, losing something that they, somebody that they deeply care about, or even if not, if it's not death, even if it's like a job or just a relationship, how do you navigate that kind of just loss in general without having something bigger to believe in? So like to me, God just takes the pressure off of me.

And that's good. And I kind of feel like that was the point. Good. Okay. So delete everything I said. Don't know. Delete it. And when he asked, when he puts the question, you just cut to her. Thank you so much. No. No. Yeah. I just feel like he takes the pressure off. Okay. And it was my question. Thank you so much.

But with Indies specifically, it was a pretty awful pregnancy leading up to her birth. And I actually find that to be a massive blessing. Had the pregnancy been just this perfect, easy pregnancy, I would not have been, I think, as deep in prayer as I was. I wouldn't have been deeply, like, seeking out community and extra resources. like all the things that that rough pregnancy brought were truly to prepare me for what was to come and had none of that happened, I just would have been so unbelievably blindsided. Now, don't get me wrong. It's still like no one expected it.

We had a heartbeat two minutes before birth. Like she was so healthy. Everything was great. It was just my body was going through issues, but nothing with her. But because of all of that like difficulty leading up to her birth, It was like I had like like going to the gym before you have to lift something heavy. Like if you hadn't gone to the gym, like lifting that heavy thing would just be so much harder versus like had you done that exercise.

It's just like a cakewalk. He really just met me so many times that when this moment happened, he was like, see, I still have you even here. It doesn't make sense. I know it doesn't make sense. But there was just a supernatural peace immediately. And we felt that over the next couple of weeks. But then I was worried that, like, in six months or in a year or who knows how long, will my mental space still be in this same place? So as, like, a precaution, I decided to do EMDR for the first time just to make sure, like, hey, I know I'm healing okay and I feel okay, but I just want to, like, double down and, and like, do my due diligence so that I can still be a great wife.

I can still be a great mom. And that was super helpful because I really feel like even though I felt like my mind was okay, my body wasn't. My body kept shutting down and people were like or doctors could not figure out what was going on with me at all. And after that EMDR session, I just kind of felt like everything in my body was finally able to heal and settle. And that was very helpful.

Your first session was not yesterday session. Carlos's first session was yesterday. So he was with me for the first EMDR session. poor guy she did her four hours and the woman goes okay are you ready and I was like

I think I'm good she was like bawling for four hours and I'm like sitting there watching the old thing and I was like no I'm good because it's really EMDR is super traumatic you just relive the experience

again and again and again but every time you get something new but it was cool and I don't know if you guys have probably heard me tell this story before but like you basically go back and like I couldn't do this this made me too dizzy

so I like hold these tappers that like buzz and my eyes were closed and I was like seeing the room she's like now go back into the room and tell me what you see this time so like I'd given birth but this time after I gave birth there the room was like filled with angels and I knew like God Jesus Holy Spirit were all in the room but like I can't see a face but like I knew they were there and I knew that even though even though like they should have been like this peaceful bunch that were like smiling over us like like saying like we're like we're okay like i have her like indy was alive in god's arms in this like vision everyone was weeping the angels were weeping the like god jesus holy spirit were weeping

like everyone was weeping and it just gave me this image of like oh my gosh instead of you being like it's okay it's okay you were bawling for me because you knew how much i was in pain And it was just this very healing image, but just a wild thing that I, gift that I was kind of given that I didn't know that I needed. And not to like say like EMDR was that. I feel like God was like, you know, this is because I was usually utilizing that tool, he gave me a glimpse of something that I don't know how else I would have seen that. But it was really a unique experience. Wow. I can't imagine.

Thank you for sharing that. No, of course. Of course. I'm sorry that happened, but it's your perspectiveism. I mean, honestly, I think about all the good that came from it, and it's just wild. We've been running from community, not intentionally, but for years. I mean, living on Maui, on an island, even though we knew everybody, everyone kind of does their own thing. You know, and a 30-minute drive is a big deal over there.

Here, it's like 30 minutes, yeah, I'm just going it down, like whatever. Over there, 30 minutes is like, yeah, maybe I'll see him next month. so you kind of end up just like in your own little circle doing your thing and we just never really had community and then we moved on to a boat and it was even worse and with the whole you know indie situation and Alexa not feeling safe about the you know air quality on Maui we ended moving to Tennessee and God puts us he he he so randomly somebody that we saw their house the realtor thought that we would be friends that we would be good friends with their

the owners so we just met them and they were like we don't care if you buy our house or not we just wanted like know you guys so we said okay cool so then we moved Tennessee different house they ride us and invite us to a church so the week before everything happened with Indy we decide hey let's go check out this church

and we go and it was just a great I mean, the church is literally, like, their foundation is community, community, community, community, community. And we're like, man, we've never experienced this. This is insane. And the pastor's like this young guy. And he's really cool. And he's Australian. He's got a cool accent.

I'm like, this guy's awesome. And he cooks. And he cooks. So they literally serve at the time, it was just a 5 p.m. service. And you would show up at 5 and they would feed everybody. So. Full dinner. Wow.

That's amazing. They have picnic tables everywhere. and that's kind of how they like that's their seating versus having like chairs and everything is about just gathering around a table and having that um like like just kind of developing that community with different people so we go have a great experience the next week indie happens um that was a friday night well yeah so saturday early morning and then we're just kind of grieving and saturday night i'm like what do you want to do she's like i want to go to church tomorrow I was like, people don't do that. I'm like, we just lost a child. We're not going to church so on. She's like, no, we have to. So I'm like, okay, we don't even know these people at the church.

We've been there one time. So we go and man, I can't tell you, like we were sitting there. Worship was happening. We close our eyes. We're bawling. And I open my eyes. The whole congregation, like everybody from the church is just around us. Like laying hands on us.

Oh my gosh. And I just felt this feeling of like being carried and we're just bawling. and I don't even know these people and I'm like, what is happening right now? Like that moment, I went, man, even though we just experienced the craziest loss, like we lost a child, but God just gave us the community

that we had been longing for for years. And now a year later, I mean, like, they are the backbone for us here. Like her dad had an issue a couple weeks ago and we were on a cruise and he was bleeding and had to call an ambulance and he had the dog at the house and he was dog sitting in the house.

I'm like, what do we do? And she was like, let's just write the group, you know, like the church group. And I'm like, no, no, don't bother them. She's like, no, that's what they're there for. And man, like, I'm getting goosebumps now. Like, we wrote, hey, can anybody help? And it was like, done. They literally drove to the hospital, checked on her dad, picked him up, signed him out,

brought him back to the house, made sure he was good. And I was like. By the time, everything was over. It was like four in the morning. But it's just like, that's what you do. Where else are you getting that, man? Nowhere. Nowhere.

I've never had that in my life. The church is the largest volunteer. organization in the world. You show up and it's like, no, think about just like from an agnostic standpoint, we go to a pretty big church. So there's like a thousand people in there. Everyone's just there because they want to be. They're not getting paid.

They're not paying anybody. This is like totally. And all walks of life, all different backgrounds. They're there to talk about values. And to try to like aspire to values. And to be better. Yeah. Everybody wants to be better.

And it's kind of this assumption like, hey, let's help each other out. It's like, wow. I don't know if that exists. anywhere else. I mean, that's the church that's best. I don't know why I just got the mental image of like a pastor at any church announcing someone's meal train like, for the part of them.

We had people do a whole meal train for us after it. I got really used to it. I was like this is so nice. We're having tacos and I'm going to say it'll be here at five. It was, but people that we didn't even know. And at the time

we didn't know the past, like now I think about Mark coming over. I know the pastor. you know and like these guys don't make a lot of money like like they're not doing it for the money yet they took time out of their day he made us a whole thing with steak and this and it he like smoked meat for us came over didn't even know him came over and he was like I just want to love on you guys and every day a new person would come that we had no idea I didn't even know that they existed in this world and they just wanted to love on us because they knew that we were going through hard time so now when those meal trains come through oh yeah we're like all right cool what do we cook it

okay cool or like if we can't like what are we sending like let's go You're going over the person's house to eat the mail train. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Who's meal train is this? All right, let's go over there. Hey, do you want to hang out tonight? I know you're going to do a high time. I'll be there.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. I was to say, we have said that about Nashville before there, and that's why we've stayed so long, is even, like, coming from the Midwest, we've lived in L.A., we've bounced around all over the country. There is something special about here. Even now, there's so many people not from Nashville. Yep. But the intentionality of people who live in the.

Nashville to serve one another is very different it's a whole different culture here yeah it's very much like serve let's serve and you know it's weird because I know a lot of people are moving from California to here and like there's like a big joke at the DMB because when I went to turn my license in they were like please don't tell me you have a California driver's license I was like no it's not from California they're like thank God I would have denied you I was like what and she's like I'm just kidding but I'm really happy you're not coming from California and but I really you think it's because in L.A., you go to L.A. to make it. So everything is about self-serving, really.

Like, it's all about, like, what do I have to do to get there, to make it, to be the next thing, or whatever. Whereas out here, it's just a very different life. The only thing that I struggle with is how slow people drive. Yeah. That's it. That's me. I'm like, I just need you to go a little bit faster. I put it on the auto thing, and I'm like, I don't care.

I'm going, you're going five under. Yeah, but I'm going to get there when I get there. Yeah. She's like, I'm not that bad. I just, we could pick it up a little bit more. I describe both cities as ambitious, which is awesome. I love that. But LA is more selfish ambition.

And this is more of like a community ambition, like group, group. Well, it goes back to what you said about, like, living with a purpose and, like, living longer. I feel like when you live to serve other people and you have God in your heart and your whole purpose is change. Like, I feel like, every time, like, something bad happens, I'm like, I'm like, I live. God, when you're done with me, you're done with me, but I don't feel like you're done with me. But that wasn't immediate. No.

That, like, I really feel like these last couple years, you have really, like, for instance, his car got smashed the other day, like, so dirty. And at first we thought it was just going to be the windshield, but it's like the whole top frame. In the past, something like that would have just destroyed him. It would have taken him out.

He would just would have been like, oh, really? Like, one thing after nothing. Whereas this time he was like, we'll fix it. Yeah. It's like, what? I feel so much better. I agree.

Still not fixed, but, like, you know, we'll fix it. I'm fine. Are you guys interested in more kids? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. We really want more kids. I have to figure out what's going on with my body first because I had some issues. And Rio was early.

And then Indy, she was full term, but I went into laborer at 37 weeks. So early, but fine. But then obviously we lost her. So I'm trying to figure out exactly what's going on with my body. But when I get to that place, I would love more kids. I'm one of seven. Yeah. Oh, my God.

One more is for sure. Yeah, I love it. Like every older person that we talk to just says, you, you're not going to regret having more kids. Yeah. Their regret is that I wish I had more. Yeah. That's literally what everyone, like all of them say. And our families, I'm not sure about y'all, but we, I love.

I love our extended families, but we're not really as close as, like, you would hope, you know, like, no one's all going to grandmas for Christmas this year and everyone. Like, it's just not that. We're working towards that, yeah, working towards that. But we kind of also said, well, then we have to be that for our kids and our kids' kids' kids and their kids' kids. So, you know, I'm hoping that all of this, when I'm 80, I'm going, okay, you know, unfortunately, we have to be the old people going, yeah, this is great. Look, look, this is so nice. Everyone's coming to, come here, come here. you know but so so it's like having having more kids is the only way to do that yeah um so i think

for sure one more how about you guys i'd keep having them until the sunset but but we had a 10 pound baby and sean's 4 foot 11 so pregnancy is a tough i have said i feel complete i had three C sections the way my body feels kind of like the whole listening to my body is like I felt vulnerable for the first time with my third. And I would, I have said no at the moment. So there's no pressure. Oh, I know. There's pressure.

We need a final answer right now on this podcast. I would love more kids. I am an only child married into a very large family. I love the idea of like all of our kids having each other when they grow up and having the aunts and uncles and cousins. And like, yes, I would want more. But I feel at capacity. Yeah.

Dude, pregnancy, I mean, it's hard on, it's hard on, it's, but it's also hard. No, no, no, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, let me wrap this up so no one think, come on. And podcast is over. Thank you so much. No, no, no, no, no, no. He's not wrong, but no women, whatever let them say. People, people who are, who are in a great relationship and a great marriage, she's my best friend. I assume you guys are best friends.

when she gets pregnant I lose my best friend for a little bit because now she's got all these things and nine months plus that like first year of baby like it gets a little lonely I mean it's so I'm not saying that we have it worse or anything I'm saying as a husband too like it's hard it's hard to see her like that

it's hard to watch her go I mean especially with what happened with Indy and like all the complications I'm like what if I lost my wife like that's scary as a husband so I think for us you know we want more But we're kind of in the same boat where it's like, God, like, are you done? Because I don't want to force anything and then have something bad happen.

So we're kind of just like, you know, letting God guide it. And if one day is like, yo, it's time. And yeah, it's time. We said that with each, we learned that with our first, that it puts a huge strain on a marriage. Yeah. No matter how you swing it. Like, it's just you're changing your identity. You're trying to be used to your lifestyle.

And we said that with every pregnancy of like, we have to be very active and very aware of this. Yeah. And make sure it doesn't last. Because it's hard. It is. It's really hard. And like, in his defense, because we talk about what moms go through all the time, but we never allow, like, dads to have the voice of, it has to be, like, freaking lonely.

Yeah. To, like, not have your, like, fun, happy wife or to see your wife in, like, pain or nauseous. And you can't help that. Like, there's nothing you could do. Like, this is the first time, like, as a man of the household, he can't actually solve the problem for you. And that's a really hard space to be in. for like for a man I really I really

yeah you just like lose your best friend I mean like that's the best way that I can explain you just lose your best friend for almost two years and you're like freak we used to do all these fun things together and now we can't it's good okay fine like this is good it's just a different phase of life

I always say it's just different being married to a mom you're like one day you're just giggling having a good time next you're like yes ma'am yeah what do you need what do you need Anyway, it's crazy. This was really fun.

Heck yeah. Sorry, we'll talk forever. No, I loved it, and I appreciate us taking more of your time than maybe expected. But y'all really are like the darlings of the internet. No, we'll get out of here. We're trying to keep up with y'all. Yeah. You guys are doing songs and bands and books and shows and movies.

No, I just told her that we got to start doing some of those challenges. Some of the challenges you guys do. I love it. I love it. I love it. We're going to hurt ourselves. We're literally going to hurt ourselves. We don't have the breaks from our kids.

We're trying to structure that. Yeah. I think that's something that we have not done well. And literally the conversation is coming here in the car. I'm like, how do we structure this better? Because we're always together. And the whole family together. Always, always, always.

And I'm like, it's beautiful. It's beautiful. But, like, only one of our kids goes to school and that's two days a week. Next year, it'll be two going two days a week. So we need a time during the week where it's like, hey, we have our three hours. This is our three hours. Do you guys homeschool? We don't.

Okay. So we home school. school but I do like a hybrid co-op thing that just a little bit of space I'm like oh now I get why people send their kids to school because it's like could breathe for a second but also we just so much for work and so much which is harder for like a traditional hey if you're here in July this is not a plug for the big time rush tour happening this summer in real life tour get your tickets bigtime rush official dot com I'm kidding I'm kidding I'm kidding I'm kidding I'm kidding I'm kidding but if you guys are here in July

you guys should come to the show July when July 11 11 at the amphitheater what a genius this is not

this is not a plug for the time no no it's not a plug yeah yeah yeah anyways no but that would be blast

we're here but like bringing the kids our kids will be there it's it's fun for the family and like the kids are just like doing stupid things and our kids just love dancing around and if you guys are

board, you can just literally hang out on the tour bus. Great. You can get a day of tour bus life, bro. Let's go. Yeah. This is also not a plug for Carlos and Alex's book called Love is a Point. Not a plug. Not a plug. It'll have the date. It'll have everything. It'll have everything. Definitely not a plug. But not a plug. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Hey, also, thank you guys for sending the BMKids balloon. Oh, no, no, not the stuff. The balloon.

Oh, the balloon was the biggest hit for everybody. Let me tell you, it caused so much drama in Hold on. I don't know. I have to. I have to have. I have to end with this story. I have to end with this story. So that book, so, for those of you listening, these beautiful people sent us this ginormous three-foot balloon. This is not a plug for Beam Kids with chocolate milk.

Link down the woods, by the way. Our kids are obsessed with. We brought them on the cruise with us. Like, they love it. They love it. But, uh, send you new flavors. The balloon caused so much drama in our house that I let it go in the living room. And I was like, dude, nobody gets it.

Okay? And then we were having a small group A small group the next week At Cole and Savannah LeBrandt's house And what do I see in their living room At the very top? The Beam Kids balloon And I go, what happened there? He goes, oh my gosh Caughts so much drama in my house

All my kids fighting over it so I let it go Nobody got to it was like me too We should have done enough balloons park yet So thank you guys so much for all of that drama It was great but luckily it's happening to everyone It was a great idea and I love it and if you ever do it again send the balloon

don't send the balloon it was awesome because it was a giant it was so cool it was giant it was great well thank you this is a blast thanks guys my cheeks my cheeks hurt from smile

I know