Couple Things with Shawn and Andrew - Faith, Mental Health & MLB Life — The Burgers’ Story

Episode Date: December 4, 2025

In this episode, we sit down with Jake and Ashlyn Burger- a powerhouse couple whose story blends faith, resilience, and purpose. Jake is a MLB player known not just for his talent on the field, but for his openness about mental health and the challenges that shaped his career. Ashlyn, a former athlete herself, brings warmth, honesty, and strength, and together they’ve built a platform that goes far beyond sports. The Burgers are also the founders of the Burger Family Foundation, created to support mental health initiatives and give back to communities in meaningful, accessible ways. https://www.burgerfamilyfoundation.org/about Through their foundation, they’ve become advocates for transparency, encouragement, and breaking the stigma around mental health conversations, especially for young athletes. In this conversation, we dove into everything from Jake’s journey through injuries and setbacks, to how the couple balances life, marriage, and being parents. We touched on their heart behind the foundation, their passion for serving others, an inside look at their relationship and the realities of navigating MLB life as a family, and the vulnerable moments that shaped their perspective. We had lots of laughs with our new friends and can't wait to hear what you guys think!! Love you guys! Shawn and Andrew Subscribe to our newsletter ▶ https://www.familymade.com/newsletter Follow our podcast Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/shawnandandrewpods/ Follow My Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/ShawnJohnson Follow My Tik Tok ▶ https://www.tiktok.com/@shawnjohnson Shop My LTK Page ▶ https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shawnjohnson Like the Facebook page! ▶ https://www.facebook.com/ShawnJohnson Follow Andrew’s Instagram ▶ https://www.instagram.com/AndrewDEast Andrew’s Tik Tok ▶ https://www.tiktok.com/@andrewdeast?lang=en Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up, everybody? Welcome back to Couple Things with Sean and Andrew. Today we have another interview and it is a wonderful one. It is with Jake and Ashland Burger. We are playing in their baseball charity event. I guess I should call it a softball charity event in a couple weeks. And I am so pumped. So this is called the Lucky Classic and it's part of the Burger Family Foundation.

We're raising money for families with different needs, special needs. And Jake and Ashland care about this cause because, is they have a daughter, Penelope, who has Down syndrome, and they realize that there's so many gaps that are not filled by insurance or whatever grants. And so they are stepping in and filling those gaps financially, and we get to help them do it. So whether they are writing a check for $450 or a check for $4,500, they cover the needs of special needs families who aren't getting their needs met by insurance. They are also building, they told us about the Lucky Ranch. Please listen to this episode so you know about this ranch that they are building.

It is so incredibly magical. And to give you a little more information about who the burgers are, Jake currently plays with Texas Rangers. He's a third baseman. Grop in Missouri. His story about how he and Ashland met is wild. I got chills three times during this episode. It's first. It's amazing.

Anyway, we really enjoyed sitting down with the burgers, and we hope you enjoy listening to it. If you want to find out more information about them, you can find that in the show notes down below. But without further ado, we bring you Jake and Ashley. Burger. Well, thanks for coming up. Thanks for having us. And thanks for playing in our game. We're so excited.

We're really excited to have you guys. You guys have a lineup for that. Yeah. That is incredible. It was like my idea was like if we don't do it like to the best that we like go balls to the wall the first time, then like I don't know how we're going to get people to want to come next to. So this is the first time.

Yeah. Well, you've outdone any event so far with just your lineup and roster. I'm trying really hard. Yeah. Even when we got submitted. was like, who are these people? How do you have so, you have every country, music, musician, every athlete, everybody is coming to this event.

And we are rolling here. No, no, no, I want to ask, are we playing like real baseball on this thing? No, it would be softball. All right. I'm putting in the rules and stipulation, like, if you're a hitter, like, you got to hit opposite handed, you know, I don't, I don't need, like, Corey Seeger, like, hitting a ball 115 miles an hour at somebody, but we're going to shorten the outfield, too. to make it like, there's no like groundball

home runs. Yeah. Okay. Just like get by people in the outfield. So I think you should prepare yourself. It's going to be competitive. That's what we were thinking if we like short in the outfield. Oh.

We played in a charity softball tournament. I was out there for fun. And then next thing you know I'm getting yelled at. Oh, yeah. Riley Green was like passing people out. This is for charity. And it was earnest and people take it serious. Hardy.

was hardy and it became like super competitive so what you guys are creating i'm actually super excited but like fearful of the intensity i'm excited and i think some of the players like a couple guys just had tommy john a couple guys are coming off of this world series we'll find out in the next couple days too and so i think it's going to be kind of fun to see who's like in that like who the coaches are on the different bases and how they can i mean it's going to be interesting yeah it'll be It'll be competitive. I tried to, like, make the teams that, like, you're with some buddies, but you're also playing against some guys that you, like, played with in the past that kind of creates that, like, talking crap back and forth. Yeah.

Just so we're clear for the listeners, could you guys say more about what this baseball charity event is? Yes. So, Jake is the only active major league baseball player to have a child with Down syndrome. And so our daughter, Penelope, was born a year ago on Saturday. She's a year old. Happy birthday. And so when we found out that we were the only ones, we found, like we kind of figured out really quickly that it was our God's calling for us and our family purpose. And so we wanted to do something really cool home in Nashville because this is home for us.

But that also kind of was like, you know, obviously baseball is a big part of our life. But then also like country music is and being here. And so Jay came up with the idea of like doing a like really capital. casual charity softball game and now it is not a really casual charity softball game. How much fun has it been to map out the rules for these games? Because I feel like there's a lot of time and effort spent into making sure that all the little ins and outs are figured out. Yeah, I mean, it's definitely a lot of work and I mean,

she's been a rock star with it all, you know? Obviously, it starts when we first get the idea and that's in season for me. So she's like, I'm going to take as much off of your plate as I can. And, yeah, I mean, it's just been, it's been incredible, like, the amount of support that we've gotten from a lot of companies, a lot of sponsors, a lot of people, you know. Like, you guys are playing in it. You know, it's just, like, it's incredible to see that. But also the day to day of, like, the small details that we have to put attention to is, like,

it's a lot, you know, we're both on the phone all the time. I think how much thought went into. like where is the bubble gum going in the dugouts oh yeah baby yeah i'll be crushing where are the trash where is the trash cans going like where like we're like what are you drinking water out of right so like yeti is one of our sponsors so they're like gifting everybody yeti is to fill up and then it's like well if they're all the same color how yeah how do you know who's this so it's like all the smallest things and you're like wow like we just roll in yeah to a sporting event like he does way more than I do, you know, getting ready and stuff.

So, like, I never think into all the little things that's, like, there for us. Who's more detail-oriented between you two? I think it depends on, like, what it is. What it is, right? I think, like, I would give her the nod to that, but, like, when it comes to baseball, I feel like, you know. This is where the forks go when you come home. Yeah. I also have no idea where anything in our house goes because I'm there for three and a half months a year.

Before we dive into the next topic, what's the date and time and how can people get tickets? Because I feel like this is going to sell out really quickly. It's November 16th. Sunday November 16th, yes. And like the, what is called? First pitch is at 135, but we're kicking off with a home run derby. Sick. Fun.

Yes. Really fun. Really fun. It would be on our website, BurgerFamilyFoundation.org. You can get tickets there. or through the like Nashville sounds. We're doing shirt for skins? Yeah.

We should. No, the jerseys are really cool. I don't think we've posted them anywhere, but they're, it's kind of like paying homage to like kind of the older, older school jerseys in the big league. It's been nice. It's like, since it's our event, I've gotten to be like, actually, I don't like those jerseys. Yeah, let's do what I want. Let's do the colors that I like. I love that.

How'd y'all meet? It's a great story. Do you want me to say like the first part? Go for it. And then you kind of pick it up. Yeah. So Dane Dunning, who I played with the Chicago White Sox, we were both rehabbing at the time. He's a pitcher in the Braves, on the Braves now.

But he had a wedding down in Jacksonville. Him and I were really good friends. I was in his wedding party. We went down there for the rehearsal dinner, obviously, but we played golf the morning of the rehearsal dinner. I'm not a golfer. I suck a golf. But, you know, just being with the boys. And my hotel room was not ready. And so I'm like, I don't know how I'm going to get ready for this rehearsal dinner. And another one of the groomsmen was dating Ashland's best friend at the time. And she was living in Jacksonville as well. And he texted her and was like, hey, like, can we come over and get ready for the rehearsal dinner? She's like, yeah, no problem. And so. we went there and I was like okay like this is a first for me I never just like randomly gone to somebody's house and showered and got ready for a rehearsal dinner and I was walking out of her guest bathroom in a towel and that's when I first know I literally yeah see I literally opened the door like the front door I had come home from work and I looked to my left and like who is this tall bald man in a towel walking out of my guest bathroom you weren't there no no She was walking into the house, like the way it's set up, the guest bathroom, you can see the front door. And so she was walking in the front door and I was walking.

Oh, my gosh. Who is this guy? And then Jake runs off like he is like mortified. And it comes out and he's like, I am so sorry. And I was like, I have seen male nipples before. We're good. And so a couple hours later, they all left. And his friend texted me and was like, Jake's literally telling every.

when he is going to marry you and I'm like all right and then his mom follows me on Instagram oh gosh I mean like three four hours after he met and so I'm like he had gotten his number and I sent him the screenshot and I'm like this is your mom I just met you and he's like yeah I told her I met the woman I'm going to marry today you said that on day one dude four hours I love it I do like it I like it a lot and he asked me to to marry him four weeks later. Four weeks? Four weeks later.

What? Yeah. How many dates have you gone on in four weeks? Oh, we, we flew back and forth between Nashville and Jacksonville, like, every weekend. Yeah. Yeah. Like four times.

Yeah. Like four dates. Yeah. Literally. Did you actually, like, accept an engagement? Yeah. I mean, I knew. And so, like, my, one of my best friends was in town, had met him and him and

him and I had gone to dinner and he, I was like, that's my husband. And, like, so we have gone back through those text messages from that day. and like both of our phones are literally like I met my wife and I'm like I literally this this guy is who I'm spending the rest of my life with and it was really love it for sight do you guys ever go back and like read your text and it's kind of cringy it's kind of crunchy we've actually retold some of our stories and I'm like it sounds really bad it is it's weird when you're in that like courting phase and you're saying all the lovey-dovey things it's like is that stalkerish or is that cute I'm not sure we're somewhere in between it's like it's weird it's cute back in the day and then you read it and you're like hey you're a borderline yeah my god she's gonna love this text message you're like yeah it's funny years later you look back like oh my god yeah but it's and I think we like how like love language is switch and like you know they changes you're like you know married and you become one and all those things and it's like I love the way you changed Penelope's diaper and then put her in a brandy

outfit today thank you wow everything's changed a little bit how long y'all have been married Three years, three and a half years. Almost four years. Three years with two kids? Okay. How old is your first? Three. Three.

Turning three. Yeah. And then Penelope's one. Yeah. Little girl, little boy? Yeah. Oldest is a boy. I'm waiting on y'all to say you're joking about how you get met and got engaged.

That's really. That's real. Yeah. And then we like, we were going to get married on the day that we met the following year. but that ended up becoming Brooks's due date and his birthday so like his birthday

is our like anniversary of meeting and being together too your birthday our son Brooks is yeah oh my gosh this is all very insane

I like it a lot so you technically met like four years ago yeah yeah crazy but also amazing what made you call a shot like that

with the wifie I just knew you know sometimes you just know and that I literally told my mom about her that day, you know, when I met her. And I think that she is the most brilliant, gorgeous human being and the whole universe. And I couldn't let that get away. Dang. Okay, so fast forward. You meet and get engaged. You get married. You have a baby. It's there massive life changes all within a year. How is your relationship? How is your relationship?

within the early marriage phase, now with two babies? I think it's gotten even stronger than it was, especially becoming who we've evolved to be with Penelope in her Down syndrome diagnosis too. So I think our marriage has always been strong. We've always been best friends. We've always been a unit. We've always seen each other as like coexisting together.

Like we're a team. And I think when we got Penelope's diagnosis, it was like oh man there is not another person on this planet that I need by my side other than you and so it was even just I think more of an affirmation that we picked the right spouse what was that like navigating her diagnosis and how how soon did you get that 10 or 11 weeks pregnant yeah okay yeah um Jake was gone yeah on the road somewhere and I was home with Brooks and I facetimed him because I got the results And I'm like, okay, let's do it. And now we open up the email and I'm like, we're going to have a little girl. And he's like, yay! And then I'm like, there's like a huge red box. And it says tricominy 21, 99%.

It's like I Google it really fast. And I'm like, Down syndrome. What? Nobody in our family is Down syndrome. What? How? What? And so I go, Jake, we're going to have a little girl and she's going to have Down syndrome.

Like my whole world stopped for a second because you're just like, you know exactly where your mind goes when you think of. the word and he goes okay and like did you hear me just i'm gonna have a little girl and she's gonna have down syndrome he's like okay anne and i'm like right do you have you processed this and he's like all right she's not gonna be any different than us and we're gonna love her the same way we love our brooks so all right and it was that was it wow how how did why that response I think as an athlete, like we all go through adversity and we have to be very level-headed through that adversity.

And I got tore my Achilles my first full season of professional baseball. I played a half-season, went to spring training, tore my Achilles, toured again 10 weeks in. And at the time, I thought like my world was shattering. There was like, I mean, it felt like the sky. was falling in a sense and you know you'll hear all the things about Achilles like it's really hard to come back from Achilles and all that if I didn't tear my Achilles I don't think I'm the player I am the day I don't think I don't meet her so many things happen because of that and I think I've gained the perspective of things that are bad and your mind aren't always bad you know it can lead to

the most beautiful things in your life and things that are good can lead to some bad things and i think you have to take everything with optimism because even if it seems bad or you're told that it's bad um god always has a plan and is always working and that's the perspective you know it doesn't matter what you could have the most devastating news in the world it's like okay and like it doesn't it doesn't change my perspective on life it doesn't change perspective on my family. It doesn't change my perspective on God. And I think it's, I think that's the way to live. Wow. After having Brooks first and then having Penelope, who probably had different needs early on, how did you navigate that within the hospital and coming home? You are on the road.

Yeah. I mean, so much to come back with her, which is, I feel like, in a way, it's like, harder and sometimes not as hard because when it's your first kid you don't know what you're doing I had never changed a diaper before before my own child and I remember feeling so ashamed in the hospital

I think you changed the first did you change the first one oh yeah yeah like the talk like oh my gosh I'm like what is going on I need some sandpaper to get this off the booty cheeks but then I think it was like our third day

in the hospital I finally you were like asleep I was all these things I looked at the nurse and I was like I don't know how to this. Can you teach me how to do this? And it's like your own kid. I felt so ashamed. I was like, I don't even know where to begin.

You get home and you're like, what do I do now? Yeah. We look to each other and like, really let us take it home. Yeah, literally. You're driving home. You're just like, oh, my right. Can I go back? I think it's like, I think it's harder in a sense because with Brooks, you have like a neurotypical child.

Yeah. And it's easy. Things come easy. And you don't know what you're doing. So the expectations of what should be done are not. there but then you bring home this human that requires so much more and in it it does like you we still fall into the comparison trap when it comes to certain things right like oh how come she sat at seven months and not at five or six months like broke so i think those things are harder because

you've had a first in a way um but like you know she when she in utero she was diagnosed with something called a double bubble which meant her stomach and her intestine were not supposed to be attached. And we knew she also had only one chamber in her heart instead of four. So she only had one wall instead of two like we all do. And then she only had one valve instead of two like we do. And so we knew she was going to have to have open heart surgery pretty soon too. And then we found out that they thought she was going to have to have surgery as soon as she was born. Because I mean, so we're navigating a lot. And so we get, I have her. She gets taking to go to the Nikki. So now that experience is different.

Like I didn't get to hold my baby. She's gone. And I did with Brooks. So now I'm like, you know, in a hospital room postpartum. But at least I wasn't my first because I kind of knew what to expect in that sense. So I feel like there's a lot of things like that that occur with the second that's just a little bit different. And then we find out, you know, 24 hours later she doesn't have this double bubble and she can drink milk. And so like that was a miracle.

So instead of we had planned to be in the NICU for. six weeks. So now my six suitcases that are in the hospital, he's logging out to the car and we got to go home after two days, like normal. So there's, I feel like there's just a lot of more planning. I had Penelope in the off season, which was wonderful. Yeah. Because she got to come home. I didn't get, Brooks didn't get that like moment where he comes in and he meets his sister for the first time. You know, she's like an incubator. So like that was really hard for me to process as like a mom like I had this vision of like my first getting to meet his sister and like that was really difficult for me to like accept but then her open heart surgery shakes at spring training so he gets

three days to come home so like my daughter I mean the range yeah the Rangers were amazing they were like you know you can take a little bit more time so like he flies in that night 6 a.m. we're at the hospital We say our goodbyes. We hand her over and we give it to God because her heart's about to be stopped for five hours. And so that was an out-of-body experience. And then we finally get to go see her again. And then the next day she comes off the exuberator

and then Jake says his goodbyes and he's back at training camp and I'm in the hospital for another six days. So I feel like that, those sorts of things are probably the hardest. Yeah, but I feel like no journey is the same, right? With your kids, right?

Like, they all like different stuff. They're all... Get soothed certain ways, you know? And so it's like... Everyone's just a little extra. I'm 20 minutes into this, and I've gotten chills three times. I know this is a girl I'm going to marry.

Your response to Penelope's diagnosis. and then the saying goodbye going in the open hearts like insane tell me about Penelope yeah she's um really sassy knows what she wants yeah she's a

um we're gonna have a really hard time when she's a teen baby yeah she just looks at us like all that time so that's gonna be fun but she's also just literally the most joyous human being on the planet.

Probably always smiling, but... Always happy, but a little sassy. Yeah. Airie girl. Something you're talking about, the off-season, flying in, flying out. We talk about this a lot with people have such a skewed idea of what it's like being a professional athlete. They're like, you are living the life.

It's such a luxury. You know, you guys are so lucky. what people don't understand is majority of the time you're living by coastal you're not living in the same house for most of the year you're flying in and out and sacrificing that how has that been with your guys' marriage and with having babies

and do you compartmentalize it do you try to travel with each other yeah she does I mean what she does at an airport with two kids is incredible like it really is and they they try and travel as much as they can. Yeah.

I mean, we ended up doing like 42 flights this year, just me and the kids because Jake travels with the team. Yeah.

But, wow. I feel like we do a really good job of like always FaceTiming communicating with each other and like sometimes

we get sick of face time because it's just not the same. We try not to go more than like two weeks without being with each other. I think it's made our marriage stronger too.

Mm-hmm. Because you have to be incredible. at the way you communicate and then manage your time when you're together. So like the phones are gone, right? Like the TV doesn't get turned on. We're like spending very like quality time

when we're together. So like what most people also don't know is that if a baseball game's at 7 o'clock, Jake is at the field at 11.30 in the morning. And so he wakes up at 9. I'm up with the kids a little bit early because you know he's got to stay up until 11 o'clock that night and we get two and a half three hours maybe together as a family

and then he's gone all day and so people don't understand that if the game's at seven he's not rolling in at four o'clock i mean it's an all day thing yeah and so i feel like we've gotten really great at our time management together what we're spending our time on like when we are together when we're not together and then we're just gotten really great at communicating like hey this is my need right now. Like I need more of this from you this week or like I'm going through this and this is what's been heavy on my heart and like I need you to help me here and we've also like this last season we did a I think it's probably one of my favorite things we did new this year was like

even if it was like we got home at midnight from the game we still spent 30 minutes doing Bible study together and like we're reading through the Bible this year and so I think that also has been really cool in our marriage. And so it's a lot of I feel like it's made our marriage. even stronger too wow you got a reading through the bible just you too yeah yeah that's awesome yeah there's like uh there's like these booklets that like what is it called eden to eternity or something like that and it's like four volumes and it's like helps you like kind of walk through it like chronologically rather than like just however you want so yeah it's fascinating like give you like

three prompts and i don't even write in them we just kind of talk talk through it wow i'm gonna need the link. I've always wanted to do it chronologically there. So like the storyline makes sense instead of trying to like. Yeah, it's jumping from like Genesis to Joe. Yeah. It's really fascinating. Like when you get that chronological order. Yeah. You mentioned being intentional with your time while you're together. I feel like one part or aspect that I just never had dialed in is intentionality while Sean and I were separate. I feel like I'd be just an absolute degenerate. if I wasn't married to John. So like when we're together, it's actually the intentionality comes kind of naturally.

But if I'm off of myself, I'm like, I'm going to turn on a movie or I'm going to like scroll on my phone or like do whatever. You know what I'm saying? Like I just never hit that cadence of being able to do the frequent check-in. So kudos to y'all for figuring that out and struggling through it. I was going to say, Jake, you've been really open with mental health, especially within the professional sports world. And it's something that there's a stigma around where people think athletes are impenetrable

and they're just machines when that's not the case. How have you dealt with that? What have you dealt with? And what are you wanting the world to like understand about the mental health side of professional athletics? Yeah. So when I tore my Akeleys the first time, right? It was running down the first base. It's like, yeah, it sucks, but it's like you expect to get injured on the field at some point.

the second time was when I started dealing with a lot of more mental health stuff and it's basically stepping out of a sandal at home and so I'm like damn this isn't like just correlated in my mind to my performance on field like this is home life you know this is like when I have kids like chasing around a kid in the backyard and I actually got diagnosed with PTSD from it. Really kind of bizarre way to describe something. Like my body would freeze up. I would, it basically feel like I was re-rupturing my Achilles again.

And I would basically be stuck in my bed, wouldn't be able to get out. Obviously, depression from that. And yeah, it was really tough. And I've done a lot of work to work through that and stuff. and um she's helped a lot with that but um i think the biggest thing is that we're all human and we don't understand what everybody's going through you know i think i have this idea when i'm walking through like a farmer's market and it sometimes pops in my head of like yeah this is a random stranger that's walking by me but like i have no idea what this person's

life is and treating people with respect and kindness and love is the only way to go about life. And for me, I think the biggest thing, we came up with the Burger Bombs initiative, and it's be open, you know, it's talking about what you're dealing with with somebody. You know, it doesn't have to be a family member. It can be a friend or a professional.

Oh, was open a book. And over the last four or five years, I've really kind of dove into that. Because I do think that for all the good that social media brings, I think it can bring a lot of bad, too. And I think it can get you into that comparison game. It can get you thinking, like, for me, during my Achilles rupture, it's like, I'm seeing all my bodies, like, kill it. And I'm really happy for them, you know, they hit a walk off and run or something. And I'm like, that's awesome, but also, like, damn, like, I don't know if I'm ever going to get back on the field.

and so opening a book is a way to kind of get away from the social media and just like being present in your in your moment meditation was m there's a lot of stuff on that i don't need to go into too much detail uh break a sweat for me i when i was dealing with my PTSD and depression like i couldn't walk like my achilles there's nothing i could do and um i started spending time outside and just like going on a walk outside, being out in nature, kind of reset that a little bit, where I didn't feel trapped. It was kind of admiring the world we live in, like, the natural beauty of it. And then S was set a routine.

As athletes, you guys know, like, I'm way better when I set a routine. I'm like, all right, I'm doing this now, this, this, this. And when you are dealing with mental health, it's really hard to kind of get, that focus of like I need to do this now I need to do this it's like no like my anxiety is kind of kicking in like what if I do that and it hurts or what if I do that and I rupture my Achilles again and so it was a way for me to kind of like set my day and get little wins every single day and that's you know brush my teeth make breakfast like and building those small winds kind of help me get through it but I think at the end of the day like you have no idea what somebody next to you

was dealing with and don't be afraid to ask, but also just be that open here. Don't give them just advice like, oh, you need to do this. Like, no, just be there as a friend to listen. So the PTSD was after the second rupture? Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, it's fascinating. I think about trauma. I remember reading a book called Man Search for Meaning about like this guy who's in a concentration camp during World War II. Like, that's trauma. Then you think about, like, trauma. Trauma, trauma regardless of how egregious it sounds and whatever ingredients go into that recipe of making that a substantial event in someone's life is like that's what it is like it just it's trauma so it's fascinating about that but then you talking about like the the benefit of a rhythm and routine

i was not about that life for i i was like footloose and fancy free before i met sean and then like Sean was like super rigid and that and then parent we had kids you're like even more so and I pushed back against it for a while but then I remember we read a book called Habits of the household by Justin Whitmore early phenomenal he talks about specifically routines and a family dynamic like in the house as almost liturgies to like honoring each other so liturgy's being the routines and patterns the habits that you have it's almost like the doing the acts of love that might trigger the feeling of love you know what I'm saying and I love that idea of like you got to put yourself in the position to even have a chance at having success

whatever that is and there is something to how the body teaches a soul and and like all right but we're going to show up and do this routine um that's it's interesting I did you do you ever do like um do you ever have performance anxiety or like yeah i mean like for sure i mean i think it's hard not to at some point especially like baseball you're playing 100 like you're playing for eight months straight with 20 off days mixed in and it's like it's going bad you're like oh my god like i really got to hit home right you know where am i going to be at um yeah for sure i mean i think It's, I don't know anybody that doesn't necessarily have it at some point. Well, sorry, you're about to say something.

Oh, I was just going to say, or we're taking a shower in our uniform. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The what? If it's like we're, you know, she's just not really, we're just going to take a shower. Yeah.

Wash off the bad. Baseball is a very superstitious sport. I've never heard that. Yeah. I was like, what does this mean? Yeah. But it again, I love that we're talking about this. Every single athlete goes through performance anxiety.

That's what you're training for. And I just don't think people use the term performance anxiety, but like if you watch any athlete in any arena have a bad day, it's not because they're not capable. They're an elite athlete. It's just they probably overthought it or had a bad strategy or like, second guess their ability or we're a little off that day

I think even watching Simone Biles like every single person goes through it it's just how you're training as an athlete to overcome the negative thoughts that your brain naturally comes up with and you just get better at it do you ever have any parallel

experience that type of like anxiety before the PTSD not not necessarily because it was more like it was college and I was just kind of like college baseball is a little different and I was just having fun yeah um it definitely like came on more just because like my story's kind of wild because typically in baseball right you start low a go to high a double a triple a then you make it to the majors whereas mine was

like played low a for half a season got hurt didn't play baseball for three years like well two years injured, COVID hits, didn't play organized baseball, 21, start in AAA, make my debut that year. So it was like, there's a bulk of like repetition and stuff that like I didn't get. And so then it's like, all right, you're kind of like thrown into the fire. It's like you're going to learn on the fly. And so I think that's where some of it came about. But I was reading this year, I was reading a really interesting book. And I don't know if you guys read it.

It's the inner game of tennis. Yeah. And it talks about your person A, person B or whatever, like mind A, mind B. And I do think like there's a lot of merit to that because when you're in like the flow state, it's like, as you said, like you're all elite athletes. And it's like that you're not even thinking about what you're doing. You're just like executing it on point. But when that anxiety creeps in, that's when the kind of that ego A person. A takes over and you're like, oh, I really need to swing my bat this way or I really need

to tackle this way or really need to do this flip this way. And it's just like a very, I think there's a lot of merit to that of like the repetition and that routine kind of get you into that point B where you're just kind of like on autopilot and you're just performing. This is fascinating. I could talk about this all day. But something that you said after being asked about the PTSD. It was after the second time. The first time I ever used a sport psychiatrist was after the first time I had a bad injury. And I think something he had my sports psychologist, whatever, one of those, pointed out to me was as athletes, your minds are so trained to think about very specific things all the time. You know exactly like your thoughts and the rhythms

of them. And then all of a sudden you have an injury. And it's almost like, like it unlocks this whole new world of what ifs that you had never thought of before. And I remember the first time I went back to the gym. I had torn everything in my knee skiing, not in gymnastics, which is very not smart. But it's like I would get up on an apparatus. And instead of thinking my normal rhythms, I would be like, well, what if I do it again doing this? Or doing the next thing? Or it was never a part of the vocabulary in my brain.

And learning how to mute that took a lot of practice. But it's like you have to like rebuild the strength in your mind that wasn't there before. And you can get through it. It's just it takes repetition. Yeah. And I think that's like the mind's really fascinating to me because I think it like takes over even like with Penelope. Right. Like you're always asking like a what if of like, oh like she's acting this way today.

Like what if it's something with her heart. Or what if it's, you know, it's like, that's been really fascinating to me with like, as the father of her, it's like, there's not much I can do. So it's like, what do we do? Like, the what if game always comes into your head. So. That is hard to put aside. Ashland, you were doing athlete too, right? Volleyball.

No. No? No. No. Fascinating. No. I was a ballerina for a while Wow

But then that was kind of it I graduated high school when I was 16 And I just started kind of working Because I like Dissly you're one of the smart people Yeah smart Yeah Yeah I'm not really athletic

To ballerina isn't That's intense But it's not like a gymnast You know what I mean I think the psychology of a ballerina is Yeah I feel like at a certain point Yes but like in those early stages

It's like you know like you teeter totter right before you you're professional and it's like you're either all in or you're like you don't want to do it anymore and I was burned out but coming from your side of things as as the wife and the best friend and like everything how how did you witness and take all of this in and support as a spouse when he was going through his low points of his career um I think, like, what was hard, I'm a fixer. I'm like, I've got a solution, you have a problem, I got this. And so even with Penelope, it's like, actually, I can't do anything.

And so I think for me, I learn quickly with him. It was best for me just to be like, what do you need from me? And how can I support you? And how can I help take your mind off of these things? And then what can I do to make it easier for you to come home and transition back into civilian life, whether it's at the end of the day or at the end of the season. And I think that was like helpful for him. And then to also be like, I don't care if you go 0 for five or you hit three grand slams.

Like I'm going to love you no differently. And our kids are going to love you no differently no matter what happens on the field. And so I think for him to know that at the end of the day when he came home to what, you know, really matters, nothing he could do performance based was going to change role to that. If he decided tomorrow that he never wanted to play again, it's like, all right, well, what's our next project? Not, oh, no. You know, so I think that probably has, you've been able to lean on my strength in that.

And also just, I try my best to be the stable rock during the baseball season so that you can fluctuate. And then it kind of switches in the off season. So I think like in marriage, not only are you growing a lot as individuals, right? We have to grow at the same rate as another human, but it's also like our roles have to change. And I think I don't know what book I read it in,

but it was like, someone's always going to be 90 and someone's always going to be 10. And so like you just have to alternate which one you are for that moment dependent on the other person's needs. I remember when I got to the pros, this was such a fascinating thing that my whole life I loved playing football. and then rookie year i show up and whatever like the pressure just i got blindsided by this holy crap i can't stop like ruminating about my four plays that i'd get as a long snapper it's

like it was it was really insane my uh escape out of that was like distraction and so it's like oh how can i just get my mind off of this as much as possible i'll just show up and just kind like roll into that mindless momentum it was really like struggling that we went through together thank goodness but i feel like to your point about the uh like the psychology of the what ifs it really increases my appreciation and need for a attitude or a lifestyle of faith where it's like i think the highest form of mental discipline is to have faith and then you're like okay well what do you have faith in and there's like different iterations you can go with that but if you go with the having faith in like the christian concept of god which is

here you have the utmost being king of the universe who sacrifices makes himself humble and like you know does all this for others uh in such a selfless way it like i don't know it's like a really profound side effect that I think you experience where it's not as much of a I need to long snap this ball for me or whatever my thing is. It like I don't know

it loosens the reins a lot and then it also like I think it one puts guard what guardrails on like your realm of negativity and it also no matter what comes your way softens

like you were describing the diagnosis news it's like oh it all gets wrapped in this hope that's like so amazing and you don't get it anywhere else I don't think so I don't know that's my hot take on the psychology thing

but yeah no it makes total sense like if you make your career an idol or you make whatever it is in your life an idol like without that perspective of like God's got me covered like that's where I think more of the what else come in because it's my responsibility and obviously we have our responsibilities to be the best we can at our job at our career at our profession but that needs to be

tampered down because God's got you yeah I was to say the baseball game going back to it Why did you start it? Because you touched on the origination of your foundation, and it was Penelope's and her inspiration. But what is it you're hoping to do with your foundation? And what's your dream outcome for the game? So for the foundation, we help financially assist families with children with all disabilities, not just Down syndrome. We've kind of realized that there's this gap where insurance doesn't want to cover a $450. like speech program and you can't get a grant for $450, but $450 is a lot for a family to pay for

their child to just go do a three week speech intensive or whatever the case is. Or maybe sometimes it's like, hey, the better assistive walking device, my insurance won't cover and I need the extra $1,500. And so we've been able to write checks to do those things where like you can't get a grant and you can't, you know, insurance just won't pay for it. And then kind of what we've been working on and building in the background is the Lucky Ranch, which will be here in Nashville, and it's going to be a ranch where we employ adults with disabilities. And we allow therapeutic centers in the area to come and use our facility for free. But what our big goal is this year for 2026 is that we are going to employ adults with

Down syndrome in local stores, farm stores, restaurants, and all of those things. Because I think the greatest thing about raising awareness for Down syndrome and how capable our humans are and breaking the stigma is your everyday experience with them. So that's what our foundation does. The softball game is to raise money to do all of those things, those programs to help

financially assist people, to build the ranch, to employ, and our foundation will pay the salary for some of those adults. And softball game, man, I don't even know. I'm excited to just watch. It'd be fun. Oh, you're not playing?

No way. You have to be. Oh, no way. What? I actually get there. He's managing. Yeah, I can't. He's managing.

He's managing. You'd be better one-handed than 99% of the people. Do you already have the teams drafted, bro? What's that? Do you already have the teams drafted? Yeah, I think so. Oh, yeah. You're going to be the coach, coach?

You're going to be my coach? I don't know who's team on the same team. There's no fans from the same team. Okay. I don't know who's on what team. I was in charge of the lineups. I was in charge of making things cute. Okay.

And then Tony Vitello, the former U-T coach and the now San Francisco Viants managers. He's the other coach. Amazing. I think there is 35 players on each team. Yeah. It's amazing. Yeah. So, you know.

Dang. You should go back and see. Yeah. I think the jerseys actually get into night. I'll see what team you guys are on and then maybe we can switch up to you guys going on. I think it speaks wonders to what you guys have created, though. We, I don't. I don't mean this in like a proper self-up way,

but you guys as well, there's so many opportunities to be a part of charity events, especially in Nashville, where everybody has such a wonderful heart and they're trying to do charity events, but I will never forget when we got this offer to come play for you guys

and thinking it was just another, you know, charity softball game in Nashville, the ones that we normally go to, which are amazing. But then reading further, I was like, oh my gosh, what you guys are creating and for the awareness

and for like giving back to families, is so beautiful and two of our kids very best friends it's our best friend's son is is autistic and he's on he's a nonverbal and on the spectrum and they just seeing the interaction between them and how we help that family and then our daughter who is she turns six tomorrow but one of her very best friends is has Down syndrome at school and she actually got in a handwritten card from her she read it this morning yesterday and it said dear dream will you be my friend and play with me today? And they

sit next to each other on the bus and like they're inseparable but just to see the awareness you guys are building and hearing your answers of just like it's no question. Like this is just life and this is beautiful and there's no difference here is really, really magical. So it is truly an honor

to come to your game and be a part of this and do anything you guys want for the foundation you've created. It means a lot. I think that's like for us it's like family We're proud of who Penelope is. Every family we've met, they're proud of who their special person is. Absolutely.

What other disability they have, what has been the greatest thing for us is, like, the best examples we hosted Down syndrome day at the ballpark at Global Life Field in Texas this year. And we had 5,000 families from around the country, either drive or fly in for this day with their kids or adult had Down syndrome. And it wasn't that that they were being celebrated and I knew how love they. were and all those things by this big ball club it was the people that stopped me on the concourse that were like i've never had an experience with someone with down syndrome and today just changed my life and like that's what we're doing yeah yeah and like you said like it's just to teach our

children how to be empathetic how to be kind how to be loving regardless of the difference that there is um i think that's honestly the mission of what it is and so to have people like you guys to have guys from almost every major league team, guys that are going to go in the Hall of Fame, fly in to come show families like ours that they are wanted and welcomed and loved is like the message that these people are taking, these people are taking their time out of their day,

their off season, whatever it is, to come show up for families like mine. And families like ours is what the day is really about. That's really cool. can you help shed light on maybe some faux paws or misconceptions or ways that people could phrase things better I remember we got to sit down with Shane and Hannah Burkaw and so he's in a wheelchair and they're married and we had this amazing conversation with them and I was like at the end just said yo you're Shane you're so inspiring he's like don't say that yeah I'm just a guy we're a really good friend

So it was beautiful the way you said it. He was like, yeah, bro, don't say that. Don't say I'm inspiring. It makes me feel different. You know what I'm saying? But I imagine there's quite a lot of things people say. We're like, I actually see it differently. Do you have examples of that?

I think when people say, like Down syndrome is caused when there's an extra copy of the 21st chromosome. And a lot of people call it like an error. Oh, an air in cell division. It's like, no, that was God's choice. It's not an air. And I think he does. We're all made in God's image. think that's something we're always really quick to correct we all know not to use the

r word oh yeah um i'm learning a lot too i don't know the appropriate way to talk about down syndrome we call penelope our little our little downy because like you know she's ours like we can't i'm sure that will offend somebody but like she's ours and then also we've been trying to like you know i think don't say downs call them a person with down syndrome but what we've been trying to do this whole time is like let people know that there's no like if you see someone with down syndrome at the grocery store and you know they're a little kid you want to talk to the i like don't be weird about it yeah and like we are all accustomed to talking about it it's worse when you like act like there's nothing going on you know what i mean it's like just be like oh does your daughter

have down syndrome like oh yeah she does and da da da da da versus like yeah so what about your daughter i think that's something we've also like learned all it's like people were like really weird about like just talking about it you know so like we're always the first ones to be like oh i'm having a little girl and she's going to have down syndrome and so it's just like we try to like let people know it's okay to talk about yeah i think my only biggest gripe is like yeah like our daughter penelope has down syndrome and they're like oh like yeah it's like oh yeah like what is that what does that mean like I think there's like a negative connotation

to children with special needs that like oh that's a lot or that like and in some cases it is but like yeah that's for the parents to decide like it's a beautiful life and like we're going to celebrate it and like be happy and joyful that yeah like your best friends their son's their son is autistic like well that's great

there's nothing wrong with being autistic there's nothing wrong with any of us we're just different I think one of the beautiful, most beautiful things we've seen firsthand with our children. Our children are five, four, and one. But our five and four year old have been around our friends for many years now. And just to see their interaction, which is so genuine and real and so curious and there's so many questions. But it's so authentic. And they love their friends so much, not any less.

and other kids, it's all the same, but they know that one friend needs a talker, and so they're like, where's his talker? We need to ask him a question, and they'll like go hunt it down. And with their other friend, they know, it's just to see how they so easily accept and figure it out

teaches adults so much. Yeah. Of, you don't keep people at arm's distance. We just figure it out. We figure out how to coexist even better. and it's been really, really cool to see. I'll never hear you. I have a buddy who became a quadriplegic two or three years ago.

He played it on the football team with me. It was a great athlete. He was in a car wreck. And he shows up to our house in a wheelchair. And our four-year-old didn't even skip a beat. He was just like, can I get a ride? So next to you know, he's on his lap. It's like such a beautiful, like, oh, instead of being awkward or like, you know, what do I do?

It's like, yo, let me join in. on whatever the deal is, you know? He ran into him at a tailgate last week, and he's like, can I get a ride? And mind you, our four-year-old's like 70 pounds. I was like, buddy, you can't just be climbing all over our friend here. That's a note to the parents, too, like to you guys. Like, it really is because our children see us and watch us and how we interact with people and talk to people.

And if they see you showing people respect and love and kindness, like, they're going to follow in your footsteps, too. Good on you guys. Appreciate it. What does Ashland Burger want to be known for? I think I want to be known as being Penelope's mom and just being an incredible, like, advocate for these humans. I feel like that was my purpose once I had her.

Like, I've always, you know, I'm not an athlete. I loved working and all those things, but it was like my dream was to always be a mom. I love being a mother. I love being a wife. But when we got Penelope's diagnosis, it was like, thank you for. for like screaming it from the rooftops for me because I wouldn't have figured it out. And so I think I want to be known as, you know,

being an advocate and changing the way the next generation sees people with disabilities. What about you, Jake? What do you want to be known for? I would say a great husband and a great father. Like, I think that at the end of the day is the coolest job in the world. get to do somebody that is not afraid to talk about God and my faith and I think at the end of the day

it's part of that message is what she said like being a great advocate for a special needs community and I think they go hand in hand and you know I'm just excited to keep going as a husband and a father, regardless of how many home runs I hit, any of that. You know, I think at the end of the day, that's why we're on this planet. I love what you said at the beginning about just, you know, how we were in dating versus how we are now and look back on how you grow. It really is a testament to you guys, how you've grown together, made it through many struggles of all different sorts and it's like it's so exciting to think about if that trend continues the growth that will happen so i'm honored to meet you guys thanks for joining us today thanks for having us

we're excited to see again soon very soon yeah yeah you need to get to a batting cage you know work on your strings a little don't talk about my swing like that jay you're going to be disappointed yeah we won't just put it forward and run like you know that's all we need uh i can't wait Yeah. Thank you guys.