Cox n' Crendor Show - Cox N' Crendor Beta: Friday November 23rd

Episode Date: November 23, 2012

Happy Black Friday!!!!

Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trending! This is Trending in the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios! Recording! Wake your ass up! It's the next Trending in the morning!

Hello there, boys and ghouls! It's up next Friday in the morning! Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, all their money and are in debt That sounds pretty spooky to me, right? That's more of like America Day Oh, oh Then I feel, alright, then maybe you should tell people what today's about then And I'll stand in the background and be like Today is the day of America, the true 4th of July. It is the day where materialistic goods go on sale and where we can save our hard-earned money by going out and buying things to support the country of China because that's what produces all

of these high quality, excellent goods that we spend our hard earned money on. And that is the American way. Are we done? We're done. It's Black Friday. Today is the day when the rest of the world goes to work and does whatever they do, and here in America, you have the day off to go spend money. Yes.

Unless you're somebody working at one of those stores that sells stuff on sale. And I forgot the people trampling over others. Come on, start up the music again. And where you go with your fellow Americans and punch them in the face and trample them over to get those deals because that's what matters in this country not people not feelings not working your job to support your family, but hard-earned goods. What? It's a good thing I can't hear you while I'm doing that because I have no idea what you were saying. I don't, I didn't really know either.

So yes, hello there everybody, welcome to our Black Friday episode. Oh, oh, does that mean there's another deal? Is there another special? There's a raincoat that just went on sale down to $4.99, marked down from $19.99. Oh my god, that's a deal! I don't need one, but I'm taking it, I'm buying it, yeah. There may be that time Where you just pass this up And then you're like oh my god I wish I went and bought that raincoat I will punch a mother of three In the face to get one of those She'll be like

This looks good for my child Bam It's a deal And run away I don't know What kind of opening this is, but yes. This is an awful opening. I think we've offended many people.

More so than we normally do. Right? Oh, wow. So, yes, this is, in fact, Black Friday. And, uh, today's the day in America where everyone has the day off because Thanksgiving was yesterday, and no one wants to go back to work or school on Friday.

So the only people who are actually doing anything today are people in the service industry. Those poor bastards have to work today, and it's the single busiest shopping day of the entire year. And everything is on sale, and it's crazy. Except here's the trick though they only put a few key things on sale and they lure you in to buy all the other crap at like insane prices but who cares whatever let's spend money yeah i don't i don't get it but whatever i mean just just just give you an example of how insane it is i have a list right here in front of me these are the store hours things things that are opening because most things are not open 24 hours a day here right but how insane it is. I have a list right here in front of me. These are the store hours. Things that are opening, because most things are not open 24 hours a day here, right? But

on Black Friday, Walmart opened at 12 a.m., so at midnight. Best Buy, midnight. Toys R Us, 9 p.m. yesterday, right? And so here's the crazy thing. Who is going to a Toys R Us? Because if it opens at 9 p.m., right? You would assume they stay open all night. So they can be open during like the crazy hours when people get up at 4 a.m. to go shopping. Right? Who is going to a Toys R Us at 2 in the morning? That mother of three.

That wants the raincoat. She didn't get her raincoat, so now she's gotta go to Toys R Us. She's gotta get a Furby. The kid wants a Furby. She'll fight some other mother for a Furby. Like, there's only one left! Just slapping. Target. Target,

it says, opened yesterday at midnight. Kmart opens at 5 a.m. I didn't know there were still Kmarts around. Good for them. I didn't either. JCPenney, 4 a.m. Kohl's opened yesterday, midnight.

Macy's, midnight. Meijer, if you're in the Midwest, 4 a.m. Office Max, because that's where I want to get my presents from, 6 a.m. Sears, 4 a.m. Walgreens, because I definitely want to go to a drugstore to get my presents. That's 7 a.m sears 4 a.m walgreens because i definitely want to go to a drug store to get my presents that's 7 a.m what if they're office depot 6 a.m old navy uh that's midnight in fact the mall near me opened at midnight and they have like forever 21 like we talked about on uh thursday or wait whatever day that was. Wednesday. Our Wednesday episode. And... I mean, this is crazy.

Bass Pro Shops. 6am. Radio Shack. If you need radio supplies. 1995 accessories. If you need TV antennas. You can go there at 5am. It's crazy. Just crazy.

But what if some of those stores are open 24 hours? You can go there at 5 a.m. It's crazy. Just crazy. But what if some of those stores are open 24 hours? Here's the thing. A lot of Walmarts are open 24 hours. Here's what I know to be a fact. They don't let you buy the stuff till midnight. So at a Walmart, for example, you can go in and camp out the area you want to get. And then when they release it for sale Everyone scrambles to it

Like there's lines within the store So you can go to the store and buy other things And so I don't know if you guys have actually had the chance But I would recommend today sometime Going to YouTube Typing in Black Friday and just looking at the videos There are some Hilarious videos

Like what happens is everyone waits outside, because, you know, you want to get the best deals, you gotta get there first to get the best deals, and I'll give you an example, um, let's pull up Black Friday Best Buy, Best Buy is selling a 40 inch TV, Toshiba TV for 180 bucks. It's selling, uh, Blu-ray players for $40. It's selling computers like windows eight supercomputers for $400. It's selling Verizon phones, all these things. Um, but the thing is, is they only have like four of each. So you have to get there and you want to be the first one in line, because if you don't get that deal, like here's a 55-inch TV

for $800. And they're saying it's a doorbuster deal. There's only one per store. One! So if you want this giant TV for half the price, you have got to fist-fight someone to get it. And so you

know there's going to be people who are in line right now. Oh, actually, they're not in line anymore. They're in the store just pummeling each other. So if you go on YouTube, you can see videos where people record it happening. And it's not fantasy. We aren't making this up. This isn't some weird... This is a thing.

It's an American tradition. And I'll be honest with you, I want to go out... I think the minute I'm done here today, I'm going to go out into the madness. Just to see it. I don't need to buy anything. There's nothing that I want. But I want to go out and just walk around with the crazies. Because you have to be crazy to do this.

There's no reason you should be out shopping right now. Considering every deal that is in the store. Right now I'm on the Best Buy website. I can get that same 55-inch TV for $799.99 online. There is no limit. It just says limit, I can only buy one. And it's free shipping. Now, of course, by the time you get there

and you hear this and go there, it'll be sold out, mind you. But still, I can do that. Am I the only one who wants a Honey Boo Boo Black Friday episode? That'd be amazing. I feel like that may complete my life. I want the mom to take the baby with an extra thumb and, like, chuck it at someone. And then, like, the whole family tackle them.

Oh, my goodness. To quote Honey Boo Boo, i wish i had an extra thumb because then i could eat more cheetos don't we all don't we all but uh yeah that's black friday and uh it's it's it's definitely an american holiday and if you want to go yahoo has an article about the top 10 black friday gadget do's and don'ts. Oh, oh, do tell. Number one, do research online. Prices before you go out.

That seems like something a smart person would do. Yeah, that's not really. I like how these tips are things that a normal person would have done already, but continue, please. Number two, don't leave the house for less than 200 in total savings okay but but is that over all the deals or just one um assuming well assume you will be spending a minimum of five hours on travel and waiting in lines for a single store though for good deals much longer that's that i mean that's not an exaggeration. This is one time Yahoo is actually reporting a fact.

This is a real thing. People will go out, and driving around will take an extra two hours. So let's say it takes you 30 minutes to get somewhere. It'll take you two hours and 30 minutes to get there. If it takes you five minutes to get there, it'll take you two hours and five minutes to get there. It's just, for some reason, everyone decides to get there. If it takes you five minutes to get there, it'll take you two hours and five minutes to get there. It's just, for some reason, everyone decides to go out. Even though, like I just explained, you can

go online and get the exact same deal. But it's the experience. It's like going out with all the people and all the Christmas music's playing. It's this huge, crazy deal and it's an event, right? Mind you, somewhere there's a guy named, like, Dick Dastardly running a corporation who's like

bye foolish Americans bye and we're falling right into it but still isn't it called Black Friday because it moves them out of the red and into the black like profit there are I believe over half the companies in the

United States operate in the red so if you like have a line right just a straight, horizontal line, anything below the line is red, which means you're losing money. Anything above the line is black, which means you are gaining money, you're earning money. And on this one specific day, half the companies in this country go from the red to the black for the rest of the year.

This is the one day they make money, and it makes them good for the rest of the year. This is the one day they make money, and it makes them good for the rest of the year. So they can say their company earned money on one single day. That's how much people spend. It's nonsense. It's a nonsense thing. It really is America in a nutshell. I just read an amazing paragraph in this article.

Number six, it says, don't buy a cheap notebook for people you like. I just read an amazing paragraph in this article. Number six, it says, Don't buy a cheap notebook for people you like. Want to punish your teenager for posting inappropriate things to Facebook? Still have a grudge against mom for recycling your comic books? Get revenge by purchasing them a low-end Black Friday notebook that will ruin their computing experiences. What? I don't know.

That's a horrible thing, but it is true. A lot of the in-store computers that they sell are horrible. That's when they get rid of all the ones no one buys, the pre-built ones that are just junky. So, yeah, that's a thing.

Hopefully you are not listening to us on one of those or on your like cheap knockoff mp3 player that's like mgp player 5 000 5 000 exactly yeah you can get those for like six dollars on black friday too oh my god is there any other tips? Anything else we should avoid? There's some good ones, but I don't really think there's that many great tips here. Uh-huh. All right, well, thanks for that news article, buddy. Yeah.

All right. Well, I guess it's a good time now, then, to go to traffic, because who knows what it's like out there. Let's go to TrafficOpto7 with Crendor up in the sky. What's going on out there, Crendor? Well, it's crazy right now because you look down and it's just everything's backed up. The 104, Hinkley, you got Thomasville. It's just the entire city you can't even move. The sidewalks have cars on them.

I mean, it's crazy, so I mean if you're going out to buy some crazy deals I would say Just don't do it. Just you know just stay at home Just stay unless you want to go out then go out. Thanks Crandor Looks like air is traffic bumper to bumper out there now Let's go back to Crandor in the studio for sports an extra sports article today first off Jacoby Jones got interviewed and it was about his touchdown dances. And Ed Reed is apparently

Jacoby Jones' favorite Raven. So... Nah, he's not a fan of Greg Jennings. I also found this other sports article I had to bring up. Uh-huh. The Cleveland Browns will give out white flags on Sunday. To surrender?

Yes. Are they just going to give up? They're like little white flags. And they have Cleveland Browns on the flag. Who are they playing? Even with the Pittsburgh Steelers down to 37-year-old Charlie Batch and newly signed Brian Hoyer at quarterback. Wait, they're playing the Steelers?

So they're just going to surrender? My dad would be very happy about this. Is that what this game is? I guess so. My dad, a huge Steelers fan. This is hilarious. The Steelers don't even have their starting 40. And they're going to wave white flags.

That's amazing. That's amazing. Because the Cleveland Browns are 2-8, and I'm pretty sure. They're just surrendering the season. I think the teams they've beaten are, like, really bad as well. Like, they're fellow, like, 2-8 teams. So. That's wonderful.

You can follow the Cleveland Browns on Twitter if you want to surrender with them. Mm-hmm. So, uh, what's going on out there with the weather, man? How's it looking? Today in Brighton, United Kingdom, it is 9 degrees Celsius. But it feels like 6. I don't know what that means. The American education system didn't prepare me for this. So what is that? 40 something? I think you add on like 30.

30? Isn't it 32? 32 is zero. So that's 40. No, 38 degrees. I think you have to like, and then you carry the one. Son of a bitch. There's 89% humidity, 8 degrees Celsius dew point, 14.5 kilometer visibility, however many miles or whatever that is.

And then the pollen index is out of season, so we can't get any. Well, that's because there's snow on the ground. Yeah, and that's what it's like in Brighton today. Oh, well, there you go, Brighton. Hopefully you're having a nice, I don't know, what do the English, hot tea? Jolly good tea. A hot tea? Jolly good.

On the telly. Exactly. Exactly. All right, so what's our big news story today? What's the big news story of this Black Friday? Because I assume they're out driving, stuck in traffic. They don't get a chance to read the paper. Actually, they're probably stuck in traffic reading the paper right now,

so this might not apply, but what's going to keep people interested? What's our big story? Well, Yahoo has provided us with two articles, two of them, that are high quality. All right, read me the titles, the headlines. Ten bits of career expert advice you want to ignore. Or master your job interview with these preparation secrets. Hmm. I feel like we should help the young.

There's a lot of college students, right? This is probably their senior year. And, you know, after the winter thaw, they're going to have to find a job, right? Mm-hmm. I think we should help them find a job with interview secrets. That's a good idea. Good idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

This works for anyone, even old people. Yeah. Old people got to eat, man. Interview tip number one. 80% of the work is done before you ever set foot in the room. Imagine the difference between these two candidates. Candidate one walks into the room and says, Nice to meet you, and spends the next 30 minutes answering the interviewer's questions.

Candidate two walks in and says, Nice to see you again, and spends the next 30 minutes not only answering questions, but also talking about the company's challenges and making specific recommendations on how they can help. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! So, interviewer one is showing up for the first interview. Interviewer two has been stalking this person for weeks. Rifling through company trash. Like, look, I know it's not my place, but this is what you need to do to fix your company

because clearly these business receipts are all over the place. These sales reports, do you even shred these? They are everywhere in the trash. And, I mean, question number three on the interview, like, I know you haven't asked me it yet, but, I mean, it's, I mean, why even have that question on it? It's like, all right, for your questions, it's yes, no, yes, 30%, and let's say herpes. The interviewer's like, what?

You're hired. All right, what's our next one? Number two, know your top three selling points that you want to get across. Your job in an interview is not simply to answer questions. It's to get your points across. Watch the masters of this, CEOs and politicians. When they're interviewed, they don't simply answer the question. They always get their talking points across.

In other words, they lie and dance around the subject. Yeah, wait, no. I added the last part in. Oh,, no. That's a horrible suggestion. I mean, I guess it makes sense. Because when someone asks you, like, the worst interview question in the world, it's always, what are your three biggest weaknesses? Right?

And you always have to sit there and be like, yeah, everyone answers that, which is such a stupid answer. Like, I work too hard. Really? That's your weakness? It's mind-boggling. I guess that's how you would use it for answering questions like that. But why would you ever if someone's like, so, Mr. President, what did you have for lunch today?

Well, it's not really about what I had for lunch, but what Americans are having for lunch. Did you know that American children are going hungry every day? We have to support them. And I promise I will do that with this next bill I'm going to sign. Like, what? That's the way you do it. Well, they give three talking points you can have. Oh, they're going to give us three.

Okay. I have experience in exactly this area. Followed by specific examples. I'm a team player. Followed by stories of how you work together with difficult team members. I'm proactive. Ideal talking point for startups and small companies.

Just shorten the whole damn thing and be like, I'm a very proactive person who's experienced in being a team player. I already like you for my position. Prepare ultra crisp answers to the most common questions. This sounds obvious, but if I asked you right now, why do you want to work here? Answer.

Money. Works for me. Do you have a crisp 30 second answer? We all know we should prepare answers but we don't usually because we don't want to sound rehearsed we should just we should just write a book called like how to get the interview and how to get the job and in it we just take lines from mad men when you sit down the guy's like so what kind of fit do you think you'd be for this company? And just spout off great lines like, well, doll, here's what I think. I think I fit this company perfectly.

You know why? Because I'm a go-getter. I'm a salesman and I'll do whatever it takes. I don't take no for an answer. And the guy's like, well, that's no, no. I will not stop talking. I'm going to keep talking until you give me this job. And then he locked the door like, what can I do to make you an offer about this job?

And the guy will be like, dude, you sound like that guy from Mad Men. I'm going to hire you. Right? Because he's a go-getter. He's like, I'll even let you sleep with my wife. You're a keeper. Prepare answers to the company's biggest challenges. This is an unconventional technique that has produced job offers, salary increases, and new clients for thousands of my readers.

It's called the briefcase technique, and it ties together the above tips with a powerful result. Instead of simply treating an interview like a meeting where you answer an interviewer's questions, you do your homework beforehand, studying the company, and even talking or taking employees out to coffee for an informative interview. Wait, so in order to prep for an interview, you're supposed to go interview someone who works there? What employee is going to be like, sure, random stranger. I'd love to go out to coffee with you and share you my company's darkest secrets and how you can help improve it. Even though you don't even work for us.

That sounds like the plot of Willy Wonka. Wasn't there that one guy who kept trying to pay the kids off to get the secrets for Willy Wonka? Wonka, give me your secrets to your chocolate. Right? So basically, you want to be the bad guy for Willy Wonka, and you want to sneak around paying children to get the secrets. Like, yes, I must have the secret of the everlasting gobstopper. I'm learning so much.

And finally, tip number five, advanced preparation. Use a mirror, a friend, and a camera. Oh, my God. I imagine someone reading this article and going to the interview with a mirror, a camera, and a friend. And just setting it all up. How would you use a mirror, a camera, and a friend in an interview? Well, you might be the most qualified person for the job, but if the interviewer doesn't connect with you, you'll get passed up.

That's why the softer skills, body language, smiling, how much you ramble matter more than people think. Here's what you do. Don't ramble. Prepare for your think. Here's what you do. Don't ramble. Prepare for your interview. Don't just memorize your answers. You practice your body language, too. First, ask your toughest friend to interview you. Have them give you candid feedback.

Your toughest friend. My name is Bruno. I will interview you. Whenever you get a question wrong, he punches you. Stop it. My interview is tomorrow! You are answering incorrectly! My body!

All the bruises! They'll see them! You will learn punishment! I will break you for answering poorly! Finally, videotape yourself answering the most common questions. The first time you do this, you'll probably cringe. But after systematically watching and improving yourself on video... Two things.

One, who has the time to do all this shit? Me. I assume most people have lives. If you're applying for jobs, you're applying for multiple jobs. Right? If you're a smart person. Which means you'd have to learn about a million different companies. Like, who is this?

I only want to work at National Capital Federal Bank, so I'm just going to apply there. Radio Shack. The interview at Radio Shack, I'm sure, is like, look, do you know how to use technology that's 30 years old?

And they're just like, it's like my hobby. And they'd be like, you're hired. Like, that's really what an interview should be. It's just like, hey, are you good at your job? And they're like, yeah. That's it. The interview is just to make sure the person's not going to go crazy. That's it.

Here's what you need to prove if you're in an interview Are you competent? Can you have conversations with people? Are you sociable? Are you gonna be cool with other people? And do you like to work Whatever hours they are willing to give you And would you accept their pay

That's it Listen I gotta read off common things that make you dumb In the next like like, 20 seconds. Number one. What? You rely on the web too much. Wait, whoa, whoa, what? I just found this random article and it says common things that make you dumb.

Okay, go, go. Common things that make you dumb. Go. You rely on the web too much. False. That's not true. You drive everywhere. That's also not true.

You go with fries instead of salad. That is not dumb. That's a health thing. I don't know how that affects your brain but can stay cooped up in the office that is kind of dumb yes you're always traveling for business that isn't dumb that's your job that's all they got. Wait, that's it? Yeah. Do they explain it? Yeah, but... We're almost done, aren't we? Yeah. Well, that's fine, because what we'll do is we'll use that to start with on Monday. Because I want to learn more about this.

I think that's a very good article, and I don't know why they would say those things, because that sounds insane. Well, I mean, it's just bad news. You're not just getting older, you're getting dumber. Yes. That's the opening line of the article. That is a tease if I've ever heard of one.

I feel like that should be put on magazines and in movies. That's a line that I think Mel Gibson should say to Danny Glover when Danny's like, I'm going to do over this shit. I think that's what he should say. You're also getting dumber is what you're getting. Just have Clint Eastwood say it to a chair. To a chair, yeah.

It's like, bad news, punk. You're not just getting older. You're getting dumber. And the chair just creaks like, and Clint Eastwood's like, what'd you say, chair? He shoots the chair. That's the next Clint Eastwood movie.

It's called, like, The Chair Out West. No, it has to be something like, Love So Fun. The chair out west No it has to be something like Love sofa Welcome to the Cox and Grendor in the morning podcast Where we talk about things that do not matter at all Actually it's time to say goodbye

So we can't welcome them Get out of here It's the weekend go have fun Hopefully if you are not In these United States you're having a wonderful day. If you're here and you're in the States, God bless you. You are in for a day. Actually, a whole weekend.

So thank you all. Yeah, thank you all for watching, listening, and doing whatever it is you do. And as always, to be continued. We'll see you Monday.