Cox n' Crendor Show - Cox N' Crendor Beta: Monday, December 10th

Episode Date: December 10, 2012

It's Monday, time for a whole new week of workin' for the man! While you may not like it, just make sure you don't act like the subject of our first story. Turns out people need to re-learn the golden rule. Also Jesse and Crendor pontificate the finer points of Maury.

Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trendog! This is Trendog in the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios. Recording! Wake your ass up! It's the next Trendog in the morning!

Hello there everybody, it's Monday. It's the Cocks of Crendor in the morning. Oh my goodness. We were going to start off talking about what we had done over the weekend and how much fun we had had doing whatever it was we were doing. I ate a sandwich. And a donut, you said. And there was three donuts. One was jelly, one was honey dipped, and one was lemon jelly. Ooh, wow. I bet they were real fancy, too.

I mean, they were donuts. I went to Douche's Donuts on Vine. They really put a lot of effort into their donuts. All their donuts have flipped up collars. Isn't that the only way to eat them? I mean, really? That's the only way I know. I did not

have anything that exciting. I made... Did we just have a conversation about donuts having pop collars. We just did. Those are the best kind. I was going to say that I ate a frozen meal, a frozen dinner. That was good.

Oh, yesterday, I watched the movie two days ago. I watched the movie FDR American Badass. Oh, really? It's a delightful comedy produced by Kevin Sorbo of Hercules fame. Oh, I saw the trailer for that at the Warp Zone place. Yes, and it stars the guy who played the mayor in Spin City.

And basically FDR fights werewolves. It is really ridiculous. It looked like an amazing movie. Douglas MacArthur shouts at the top of his lungs, Shut the F up, Einstein! And the way he delivers the line is so brilliant. We were just cracking up. It's a really offensive movie on every level.

Also, FDR gets high because George Washington had weed, like a secret safe of weed that only presidents have. And when you get high, you talk to Abraham Lincoln. Sounds wonderful. Oh, and Kevin Sorbo is also Abraham Lincoln. Yeah, so while we were watching that, I ordered for the first time in a long time because we got Chinese food, right? And I was like, I don't really want Chinese food. More like I just want soup.

And Chinese soups are good. I was like, what do they have? And they don't have, you know, wonton, I just want soup. And Chinese soups are good. I was like, what do they have? And they don't have the wonton, sweet and sour, da-da-da-da. But they also had the sizzling rice soup, which I haven't had in forever. Sizzling rice? Dude, yes. And I remember it being served to me way back when. It's basically chicken broth, but it has all sorts of different meats in it.

It has beef and chicken and shrimp. It has everything in there. But it's like basically chicken broth, but it has all sorts of different meats in it. It has, like, beef and chicken and shrimp. It has everything in there. But it's like a soup. And then it has rice, but the rice is, like, a weird texture. And I guess, in my mind, it was sizzling, like, because they had fried it or something. I don't know. I got this, and it was like they gave me a container of rice. And they're like, oh, this is your rice for your soup.

And I open it, and it was like Rice Krispies. What? This can't be right. And apparently, just because it was always served to me with the rice inside of it, I didn't realize that that's what I was eating. Basically, chicken soup with Rice Krispies in it. Somewhere there is an Asian listening who's like, that's not how it's made. Well, for dumbass Americans, that is how it's made.

In America, we don't use rice. We use Rice Krispies. Because when you put it in, it sounded like it was sizzling. But it was only the sound of it. Nothing was sizzling. I was very disappointed. I was like, oh, $6 down the drain. But we were going to talk about that.

I guess technically we did. But right before we went live, we stumbled across an article on Yahoo. That is called, customers called fat girls on restaurant bill. It's like one of those when you see it internet meme things. Apparently at this place in California. Of course it's in California, these three girls go into a restaurant in

Stockton, California, and they get on their receipt when they're about to pay. The server, Jeff, labeled them as fat girls. Right? Rather than their table number, you know, whatever a normal server would do, that's what he called them

So he could remember who they were Well of course, this goes nuts And super viral And ABC News covers it and everyone starts covering this thing I'll just read you sort of a little bit of it Please do The dinner bill for three friends at Chili D's restaurant Stung

But it wasn't the price Printed on the top of the receipt were the words Fat girls I got the bill and I was looking at the bill and I was like stung, but it wasn't the price. Printed on the top of the receipt were the words, Fat Girls. I got the bill, and I was looking at the bill, and I was like, why does the receipt say Fat Girls? said customer Christine Duran. It says Fat Girl number one. The friends had dined out at the Stockton

California restaurant, which is part of the Cameo Casino restaurant. What? So, it's a restaurant inside a casino restaurant? those are always the highest quality so of course you're gonna get top of the line wait staff when you go to a place like that yes oh wonderful so the bill list charges for three tri-tips with fries and three sodas for a total of 25 50 that's not bad that's not that not a bad deal. They could be an asshole to me for $25.50 for three tripe chips and fries and three sodas. A bartender named Jeff had apparently typed in

fat girls to keep track of their bill. When Duran asked the manager for an explanation, he had a smirk on his face like it was funny, but try not to laugh, she said. The dining experience went from bad to worse when the restaurant demanded they still pay the bill, offering them a 25 percent discount and then a 50 percent discount. They declined both offers and a Facebook message overnight. Maggie Lewis, the Cameo Club casino owner, again, worst name for anything, apologized and said the insulting treatment Duran and her friends had received was intolerable in our establishment. Jimmy Seymour's co-owner of Chili D's. Chili D's. Chili D's.

I am positive I would never go eat anywhere named Chili D's. It's like, dude, you want to go grab some Chili D's? Unless it was an ice cream stand, then maybe. And it's not spelled Chili like C-H-I-L-I. Like Chili like, mmm, Chili. It's Chili spelled chili like C-H-I-L-I, like chili like, mm, chili. It's chili like, brr, Chili D's. And so it's Jimmy Seymour's co-owner of Chili D's, didn't work the night Duran and her friends received the offensive receipt, but he said he is trying to clean up the mess.

I just want to tell them. Hold on, I got to be douchey here. I just want to tell them, we're sincerely sorry. We'll do everything in our part to make this never happen to anyone again, he said. And then they link it to all the other times customers have been made fun of. Of course. In January, a Papa John's employee was fired for writing lady chinky eyes on a receipt to identify an Asian customer. Again, was that in California?

I feel like that was a California thing. A Maryland woman was insulted at Radio Shack in March when she purchased a cassette tape adapter. Hopefully she was insulted for that, but I know she wasn't. I would have been like woman not in the 2000s. That's what I would have written.

She left with a receipt that read ugly itch from Tattooville. Referring to the tattoos on her arm in memory of a lost child to SIDS and her deceased mother. Wow. That guy is sort of kicking himself. Based on descriptions we've seen in the media, this incident obviously does not meet Radio Shack's expectations of customer service. Eric Brunner, spokesman for Radio Shack, told ABC News, Radio Shack responded immediately.

Because we have really nothing else better to do. People shop at Radio Shack? Well, apparently when they need to hook up their cassette player to their new car. It's against company policy to discuss individual personnel matters. The company is taking the strongest action available. Yeah, so that's basically the story. These girls who, let's be quite honest, they are rather large, right? I mean, the guy did a douchey move, but he didn't call them what they weren't.

I mean, they're fat, but you don't tell them that. Like, it's polite. Especially not when you're working at your job. Here's the difference. You can think things about people. You can even say things about people, but if you're a server, and if, like, your

personal job is customer service, you kiss that person's ass no matter what. That's your job. That's what you're paid to do. It's like if there's a guy with one arm, you don't write, like, one-armed guy. Yes, yes. He has one arm. He's the one-armed guy.

But you just don't write it. What's so infuriating is that it comes down to the basic principle of just treating people with respect. You don't have to like the way they look, the way they act, anything about them. But you treat them with respect. And in most facets of life, you know, if someone's mean to you or whatever, you don't like this person, you don't have to respect them. But if you're a waiter, your job is to respect the people that come to your restaurant to pay you money for you to service them. That's what it's about. And to show a lack of respect, that's sort of like a golden rule thing do unto others that kind of stuff i guarantee jeff wasn't the the greatest catch i'm pretty sure we know he's a

douchebag i'm looking at the receipt and it says fat girls slash one and then it says guests one yeah well because he's lazy he's lazy jeff total douchebag jeff it says fat girls one guests one but there are three people at the table. So rather than input anything correctly, he just said there's one guest. You know, because he's a douchebag. And he's just a bad employee. So, of course, he's a horrible human being. If I went there, I'd be like fat, inverted goatee guy.

And I would be skinny person. Or like. Yeah, that's what they'd say. Bones. Bones. That'd be a really good, like, biker name. Like, my name's Bones. Jeff would call us Chubby Boner.

It makes sense. If the two of us were out to dinner, he'd be like, Server Jeff, uh, tip one's Chubby Boner. Oh, we got a Chubby Boner at Chili D's? Then he and his friend would be like, Chubby Boner. The manager, whatever his name was, who came over and laughed. It's like Beavis and Butthead. It's like, meh, meh, meh.

The guys who work at Chili D's, again, not a restaurant I would ever frequent. I was expecting high-class service at Chili D's, and I've been severely disappointed. Well, here's the best part. So I looked it up on Yelp, and Chili D's, what's great about this, Chili D's has 43 reviews, right? Of the 43 reviews, how many do you think were posted in the last, oh, I don't know, two days? Three-fourths of them all 43 wow and every single one of them is like you suck why would you treat people like that except except are you ready for this this is my absolute i love when people stand up for douchebags here's my favorite part

okay here we go here we go, here we go. The number one, when you first go on there right now, it has five stars, right? I don't know if this person's ever been there, but this is Grace J. from San Francisco, who her picture is her blowing a bubble in a car seat. Very classy, Grace. And she says, well, well, well, the fat girls have arrived.

Oh, my God. I can only imagine. Look, look, I don't want to call people a, you know, a bee without knowing them. But I don't, that sentence alone, immediately, you are the equivalent of a female dog. I'm going to have to go to her profile and read this one review she wrote for Hot Cookie. She said she gave it four stars in February of 2011, and she said, Hey, $5 for a dick cookie? You bet. Classy lady, that Grace J.

Very classy lady. These are the kind of people who would stand up for douchebags. Let me continue. Well, well, well. The fat girls have arrived. I did that three times to honor the hoguettes that got called out today by Jeff, the now unemployed waiter of Chili D's. You were the sacrificial lamb, my friend, but don't worry.

You'll have a story to laugh about with your buddies the rest of your PBR drinking life. America, why be ashamed of your obesity? Own it. I'm sick of this PC bull patootie that namby-pamby wussies spew about diversity and non-judgment. It is human nature to judge. If we did not, we'd all dress,

talk, and be the same. But let's face it. We're not all created equal. Nope. I'm short, you're fat, she is black, he is Chinese. That's not rude, it's fact. What's so hard about that? Can't you handle the truth? Then STFU, and

get on the treadmill, honey boo boo. I don't want to pay for your diabetes treatment. You can't have it both ways. You cannot eat all the pancakes at Denny's, all you can eat at Dollar Buffet, and not expect the rest of the crowd, especially the underpaid waitstaff, to diss you. Fact.

Chili D's is a great place to eat and they treat everyone with the amount of respect they deserve. Whatever. Whatever. I do what I want. You can't. You know what I mean.

Whatever. Whatever. I had sex with all the You can't. You know what I mean. Whatever. Whatever. I had sex with all the 44 men, Jerry. Maury. Whatever show. They fat, okay? Okay? They gotta own it.

They gotta own it. What? Oh my god, that's amazing. The quote? I don't want to pay for your diabetes treatment, so STFU and get on the treadmill, honey boo-boo? Seriously. I don't know her, but I know I don't like her.

I know she's the kind of woman who has no sympathy for anyone ever. Yet, if you were to call her out for something, she would freak out. You know it's that person. It's that type of person. Why you gotta say that about me? Like, from her profile picture, I almost thought she was fake. She's not.

She's a real person. She is a real person. Oh, she's married! Oh. Good for her. She's's married! Oh. Good for her. She's probably married to Jeff. She did seem to know that he liked to drink PBR a lot, though that does say a lot about Jeff. That's true.

Jeff really just had a hard life, and now he's taking it out on others. When deep down, he doesn't want to, and he just drinks away at his problems. Thankfully, besides like four or five people who are just insensitive assholes, everyone on here is just bashing them. Good for them. I mean, if I ran Chili D's, number one. I'd close it down. It wouldn't be called Chili D's.

Yeah, we would have changed the name. And number two, I would have never hired Jeff in the first place. We have spent too much time on this. As interesting as this is, because really it's not. This is kind of a stupid story that just shows some people are insensitive dicks, and that's just the way life is. But with that said, we probably should move on to chapter chapter 7 up in the sky. Crendor, how's the traffic looking out there? Oh, right now I'm looking down at, uh, Chili D's.

There's no cars there at all, so if you want to get to work today, just go to any road around Chili D's because nobody's going there. Thanks, Crendor. All right, now let's go over to Crendor at the news desk. Crendor. Wait, news desk? Weather desk. Weather. Some desk.

Crendor is at a desk. A school desk. I don't know what kind of desk. He's there, though. Let's go overseas today. Ooh. To the UK. All right-o, mates.

Or wait, that's kind of Australian. You were way off. Hip hip, cheerio. We're going to go to Aberdeen. Aberdeen, old Wales. Continue, please. I'm sure we haven't offended them. It's two degrees Celsius in Aberdeen

right now with rain. 87% humidity because of that rain. You're going to feel a lot of wetness if you go outside, so maybe take an umbrella. It's a great idea if you don't want to get wet. The visibility is 11 kilometers, so decent visibility, but still a little bit short for what's normal.

Back to you guys. I almost feel like you picked an English-speaking country because you didn't want to mess up any more names. That's part of it. All right, now let's go to sports over at the sports desk. Krendor. Today in sports, Jacoby Jones didn't play, and because of that, the Ravens lost. Ironically, he also didn't play last week against the Steelers, and they also lost.

So that clearly states that Jacoby Jones is the MVP of the Ravens, if not all of football. Greg Jennings, however, played today, and I watched that game. Greg Jennings. Greg Jennings. Greg Jennings. How'd he do? He did pretty well. It's his second game back from his injury, and he caught some passes and got some yards.

Wonderful. Good for him. This is a very thorough news report you did. He played a game, some things happened in it, and it was over. He caught a 27-yard pass in a win against the Lions. Wow. He's slowly working his way back. They're almost to the playoffs. Almost.

He will dominate. I can't wait. Let me also add, he is married to Nicole Jennings. I would hope so. Actually, oh, I should have said, he's married to his sister? Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. Actually, oh, I should have said, he's married to his sister?

Oh, there's some claps in there. I distinctly heard some claps. Oh, my God. That one Mari clip I showed you with, like, the guy in the dreads who was just like, mmm. Mmm. Like, he was just so into that. For people who aren't aware, sometimes Crandor will send me clips of Mari in which once I see one episode, I'm on YouTube for the next, like, hour and a half watching episodes of Mari. And they're all amazing I ended up at one

that was like I the guy the guy's like girl I love you but I got to tell you something I cheated with over 97 women the girl's like what how could you and the rest of Maury's like yeah, Maury 97 women man 97 women No, I'm sorry over 97 at 97. He stopped TV. He's like look 97 I'm all set on didn't he say like right after that Mari was like what about her family members? He's like I always slept with two of them. Yes greater than two He's like did you sleep with any of her. He goes, greater than two. And he's like, did you sleep with any of her family members? He's like, greater than three.

Best guest ever. Greater than three. Oh, my God. All right, we need to get to a real story. We have wasted too much time today. We have chance for one story here, just one. to get to a real story. We have wasted too much time today. We have a chance for one story here. Just one. I got a great real story for us.

Refrigerator features that are worth it. Oh. So for people who are looking to buy... Very few people I know actually look to buy refrigerators. Most people get refrigerators that are either in their apartment or from a family member or more likely where I get refrigerators that are either in their apartment or from like a family member or more likely where I get refrigerators, a garage sale. Dead people don't need refrigerators.

Get it from grandma. That was really morbid. That's not what I meant, but that was real morbid. Holy crap. Hold on. I got to get this out again. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! She's dead! She's dead! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh my god! More than three? Anyway. Yes, please continue.

One of the key features is the indoor ice maker. For years, an ice maker's assembly has almost always been located in the top left-hand corner of the means, but it sounds very impressive. It was created by the smartest engineers. I mean, it's weird to me. Here's something that I don't, maybe this article is specifically an American thing, because I know a lot of people who live overseas, like this, their refrigerators, a lot of them are really small. Mm-hmm. Especially in Asian countries, their refrigerators are like what we call mini fridges.

Yeah. countries, the refrigerators are like what we call mini fridges. Yeah, that's because in every other country, all their portion sizes are vastly smaller than ours. But also, it's because most of it is, I know,

I mean, this may be a generalization, but I know a few people who moved to France, and I was talking with them, and they were basically like, our fridge is really tiny. Our apartments really, everything we do is tiny, but we spend so much time outside and away from home that it makes sense.

And they're like, when we cook, we go to the market. That's like three blocks away, get everything fresh and cook what we eat that night. And then any leftovers we store in our mini fridge and then eat the next day. And so they like barely have any food like actually in the house except and then eat the next day. And so they, like, barely have any food, like, actually in the house. Except for, like, leftover bread and stuff. I was like, that explains so much when in American countries it's like, look in your cupboard and you have, like, 18 boxes of cereals just in case. That's what a lot of other countries do is, like to the market all the time and get their stuff fresh.

While in America, it's like, let's buy our groceries every week. That's also because a lot of countries have free time. That's something we don't have in America. Because we work. Which is crazy. Americans, I love how people in power and people who always have free time are like, what makes America so great is our work ethic. It's the best in the world.

You know, we have people who don't take vacations for years at a time. And, like, that's actually horrible. It is. Most countries, like Spain, for example, they, like, take time during the middle of the day. Like, look, I'll be back in three hours. I'm going to go take a nap. They're just like, all right. It's like, should I clock out?

It's like, oh, whatever. I mean, that's the kind of stuff that I was reading a thing that I think it was a Swedish teacher said that was basically the difference, like, the reason why American schools are so far behind and all this different stuff, her theory was, she's like, here in Sweden, basically the way we do things is, you know, kids get an hour for recess. They have, you know, they don't have standardized tests. It's the exact opposite of American schools, right? Same thing with the workplace in other countries.

It's the exact, like, here, you go to work from 9 to 5, and you bust your butt 5, sometimes 7 days a week you work overtime. And for very little money money and you get no respect or no vacation time. I get no respect around here. And I think we both did some pretty good Ronnie Dangerfields there. You sounded more

Arabic. Arabic. What? Arabic? Arabic. Send your angry letters to... That is a Ravik. Wow, Crandor. That's a Ravik.

Yeah, so, I mean... Alright, continue with the fridge. I wonder if we can associate fridges to the rest of the world. You think the fat girl's fridge is very big. Jesus Christ. Continue, please. I had to do it. Dual evaporators.

Air freshness claims have become a noisy part of refrigerator marketing. You'll hear about charcoal filters, ion air purifiers, ethylene absorption packets, and other devices that promise to keep your food fresh. These claims are difficult to measure, but we can tell you one thing that definitely works. Dual evaporators, which we've found maintain higher humidity levels in the fresh food section while also keeping freezer owners from finding their way into the refrigerator. Again, this is a very American problem. It's like an unnecessary American problem.

Like, my food that I store for 12 months at a time is not fresh anymore. Oh, it smells. This deer that I killed six years ago is starting to stink. I can just picture, like, the refrigerator marketing guy just being like, well, you don't want to try those ion air purifiers. They're nothing. And ethylene absorption packets, that's in the past. What you want now is the dual evaporators.

Dual evaporators. Next up. All right, what else we got? Bigger, better water dispensers. Really? Is this a thing? I guess. Oh, this is definitely an American article.

This applies nowhere else in the world. There's also middle drawers. Yes, again, nowhere else in the world. There's also middle drawers. Yes, again, nowhere else in the world does this apply. And enhanced compressor design. A refrigerator built today might use half as much energy as one built in the 90s. Some new models are even more efficient, thanks in part to advances in compressor design. In our test, we found that refrigerators... Dual compressors!

That taught us absolutely nothing. Oh, wait, wait, wait! In its test of refrigerators, consumer reports have seen a slew of other helpful features become standard across many makes and models. Here are six of our favorites. Adjustable door bins and shelves, gallon door bins, spill-proofable door bins and shelves, gallon door bins,

spill-proof shelving, split shelves, temperature-controlled drawers, I'm getting hot over here, and through-the-door dispensers. All these are dumb. They are. Someone commented and said,

people who buy these fancy refrigerators usually eat out all the time Ha ha ha ha ha ha Fact Fact if you can afford a refrigerator Like that you probably have A guy who cooks for you and You don't use that

Yup Alright anyway that's it guys Thank you for listening thank you for watching And we will see you tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like, we'll see you tomorrow. So as always, to be continued! Hey-ya!