Cox n' Crendor Show - Cox N' Crendor Beta: Monday, November 26th.

Episode Date: November 26, 2012

Back for another week of fun! Today Crendor and Jesse talk about their amazing weekend in traffic jams, create a new candle holder, and then discuss why science is wrong about everything.

Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog! This is Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studio. Recorded! Wake your ass up! It's the next Trend Dog in the morning! It's the next Trendor in the morning! Crendor in the morning!

Hello everybody, it's Monday. And it's time for another episode of Cox and Crendor in the morning. It's Monday, Monday. Gotta wake up on Monday. And something, something, something. Weekend's over. Working, working. Yeah, working, working. Yeah, not Working, working, yeah. Working, working, yeah.

Not fun, fun, fun. I just made that up. It sounds like you took the lyrics from the worst song in the world and made them worse. I thought of that because on Friday, when it was Black Friday, I was talking with my one friend. And I just started singing Black Friday. And I was like, somebody's had to have parodied that, right? And there was nobody that parodied it. And I was just like, 2 a.m., waking up in the morning, got to get deals, got to get there fast, going to trample people over.

I forgot what I said, but that was part of it. That was part of it. That was part of it. So how was your weekend? Did you go out this weekend? I had an amazing day on Black Friday. I went out. People watched.

I went to the mall and just bought random trinkets just so I could experience stuff. It was wonderful. I bought a candle. I bought a candle at the mall. I felt pretty good about that purchase. I was like, it's only $3, original price $24. Sold. Whoa.

Right? Now, mind you, this candle was probably made in the late 90s and it's just been sitting there because no one would buy it. But I felt good about that. That's a savings, my friend. That's a savings. my friend. That's a savings. You saved money. Right?

And if a lady were ever to come over and be like, Jesse, I'm in the mood for sweet, sweet love, why, I would light that candle, and she would get the fine scent of cinnamon winter, or whatever the hell it's called. So just daily. That's daily, pretty much. The candle's already gone. The. That's daily. Pretty much.

The candle's already gone. The candle's already gone. It burned out last night. But you put it into, you made it melt into a candle, like a mold. Whoa. Do they have those? Do they have those kinds of sabers? So then the wax drips into the mold, and then all you gotta do is re-wick it.

What if, follow me here, what if there's a candle... Follow me, camera guy. What if there's a candle holder where underneath it you can put in wicks, right? And it will just hang down. And then the candle drips down down and then drips off the side and then around that new wick and forms a new candle whoa does that exist if that doesn't exist trademark trademark we're trade ranking right trademark that's how the internet works trademark it is ours entrepreneurs rich entrepreneurs like Mark Cuban, if you want to invest in our candle, we will gladly accept any deal.

But it's ours. Don't you steal it, Mark. Yeah. I mean, you can have, you know, like 30% for $2 million. We'll call it Mark Cuban Candle Holders, and you can give them out at your games for free to promote them. For free. For free. We'll give you that, buddy.

Yeah. Cut you a deal so yeah that was that was my that was my uh experience i went out uh i oh my god it was it was crazy i was trying to find a place to park and so i decided rather than like driving around eight parking lots i would just stand in one lane or Or not stand, but sit there in a car. You just stood there and just like, hey, hey everyone. They were just like, what the hell is that guy doing standing?

No, I sat there in my car and just listened to music and waited. And immediately I got a space. I think that's the smartest thing to do. Driving around, you change up your odds. Staying in one lane, you are limited to what's there, but you're also, you know, no one else is going to go down that lane because they see you there and they're like, oh, he's going to take that space. And they just keep moving on. So I sealed the deal.

It was awesome. Claiming territory. Right? I went into the mall, and it was like a Moroccan bazaar. It was bonkers. People were just running around, screaming. And because it's LA, half the languages I don't understand. And people were just shouting at each other. And I walked by the GameStop that was there, and it was kind of like the time I went to...

The only time I've ever been to a Mac store. And it was like that, where it's just a bunch of old people who have no idea what's going on, trying to communicate with people who don't understand the old people. And it was the exact same thing at GameStop. It was a bunch of parents trying to communicate with employees about what they're looking for for their kids. And this one woman's like, I need a Wii. And he's like, well, do you want a Wii or a Wii U? And she's like, what's the difference?

He's like, one we have and one we don't. She's like, well, it's a new thing? I was like, oh, no. This is going to end so badly. And of course, because GameStop employees employees A lot of them are the devil Not all of them but a lot of them He goes I'm sure he'd like a Wii I was like no

I wanted to jump to her rescue but then I realized I just didn't care And I mean he'd also love this gamer card That gives you 15% off your purchase When you trade and use games Right right exactly That's what happened when i went and bought mario he's like dude like this card man it's on like this is gonna get you a great deal i was like

you know what i'm not a fan of great deals i'm just gonna i'm gonna take my uh five dollar more that i'll pay he's just like but i mean like you know dude like down the line this is gonna pay off i'm like you know what i'm you know what i'm fine. I don't need it. And he's just, like, getting really upset. He's like, I mean, I wouldn't pass up this deal. And I was like, yeah, man, like, you should take it then. Yeah. If you want to buy it for me, I would be delighted for you to give me this awful card that I'll never use. GameStop is the freaking worst thing in the world.

You can get anything on the internet for half the price and not be harassed by some guys like, hey, um, you know, you know, if you sign up for this card, nowhere else does that happen. Yeah. The only other place where people pester you as much is, I think, Omaha Steaks. When you, like, order from them, they call you non-stop. I had some,

I had to block my very first number and it was because back in the summer I ordered Omaha Steaks on Groupon, and I was like, dude, this would be amazing. We'll have an awesome cookout. This summer will be great. For months, every time a big holiday comes up, I get called five times a day by those people. And it's like, hey, would you like to?

I'm like, no. No, I would not. And so I had to block their number. That one time you want some Omaha Steaks, you don't have to call them. I'm pretty sure I can just go to the internet and find you guys. I don't need you to pester me. They're like, but there's some great deals coming up. Maybe you thought about having steak on Thanksgiving?

Like, shut up. No one has steak on Thanksgiving. But what about that one guy that does? Well, then call his ass. So what did you do i didn't get to hear your story what'd you do for uh this wonderful black friday weekend i just looked the one day on amazon because amazon was like hey you want some even better deals that you don't have to get trampled over for well look you can get like video games like half off i was like whoa so i didn't buy anything though and then what and then so you looked and you were like wow that's this sounds like a really great deal and then you just didn't

do anything you're like i thought about getting god of war like all of them in one thing. It was like $40 marked down to $15, but it got taken really fast, and by the time I was like, do I want this? Okay, maybe, maybe, and then I clicked it, and then it was like, you are now 120th in line. And I was like, oh. Oh, yeah, no, I was just on there today, because I think today's Cyber Monday, so I guess deals started at midnight. And some of the deals are so silly, but all of them are sold out.

Every single one. One of them was a single-person exercise trampoline. And I watched it get put up, and they had 103, and I watched all 103 sell in like 35 seconds. I was like, who wants a single person exercise trampoline? What are you going to do with that? I guess they assume they'll bounce on it, but if you've ever actually used one of those, it isn't really the springiest.

It's not like fun. It is some form of exercise. So I don't know what they're, like, in their mind, they're like, oh my God, what if we got really high in Bounce, man? What? Oh, my God, man. That would be amazing.

That's all I imagine. I have a story. So I did go out that day. Uh-oh. I went to Target. I decided, you know what? I'm just going to go to Target because that's kind of a random place that's having deals. So I went to Target.

It was crowded. It wasn't, like, packed. Granted, I went at, like, 9 a.m. And there was this one lady in the DVD section, and she was talking to the Target employee. And she's like, I don't see this movie I'm looking for. And he's like, what movie are you looking for and she's like the movie white chicks that was like oh shit that's like she is the single person in the entire country actively looking for that movie and he was just like i mean like i don't know if we have that movie, but, like, I can check.

And he just, like, I'm pretty sure he just went in the back and, like, took a nap and then came back. He's just like, yeah, like, we don't have that. And she's like, oh, I guess I'll have to buy it online. And I was like, why would you want that movie for? I don't know. Because here's the thing. What did she want that movie for? I don't know.

Because here's the thing. If you're going to a store just to buy movies for family members, you go there, you see what they have, you buy them, right? It's spur-of-the-moment purchases. But someone in her family clearly wants this movie. There is a Wayans Brothers family member fan who's like, I love that film. There is nothing funnier.

And he wants this for Christmas really badly. Nothing would make his year more than the movie White Chicks. This is his Christmas gift. I don't want to say, like, it's kind of sad that that's his Christmas gift. I feel like we should make a fund to get this kid something good. Because he's like he's in such a bad place that the best he can expect is the movie

White Shanks. I just looked it up on Rotten Tomatoes and it got a 15%. Which that's not a good rating if you didn't know. a 15%. Which, that's not a good rating. If you didn't know. Oh my god.

The best thing he could ask for. This is this kid's Furby or his Nintendo. This is what he wants. What if it's for her husband? That would be... that would be even better you know what i love them wayans boys all dressed up as women bob what do you want for christmas

you want you want a new car you want uh an xbox i want movie white chicks i never heard of that movie it's it's like it's really good i saw it on a plane once I couldn't hear what they were saying but it looked funny yeah it was these two guys friggin they were dressed up as white women and all the white men's was hitting on them I thought that was that was kind of funny oh my god then there's this woman and this girl this little girl and she was like mom i want to get a toy and she was like she looked so depressed and so sad just like she'd been worn yeah like worn down to like the bare minimum of life and the girl just kept saying like i want a toy and she's like listen we're not here for toys and we're not here to make you happy.

Whoa! And the girl just got really sad, and they just kept going along. And I was like, well, that's an interesting parenting technique. That is amazing. That is an amazing parenting technique. And you could just see it, like, that she'd been worn down like over time and she's just like listen i don't i don't care anymore i had a really my father and i share an experience very similar to that where one time we were we were at a grocery store and we were looking for

something my mom was at the other side with the cart and we're looking for something and we see we see this old man who looks so sad like physically sad like he just looks like the world has beaten him down so much that he says nothing left to live for and he's like take me grim reaper like he looks so depressed and all of a sudden you hear this woman go she's i don't know what his name was, she was like, Phil? Phil? Ah, you Phil! Come over to this aisle! And he looks up at us and goes, oh, shit. And then just keeps going.

And my dad and I look at each other and we're like, that is the future of all men. At some point in your life, you get to the point where you're so beaten down, you're like, you know what? Just kill me. It explains why men die much earlier than women. Because eventually they're just like, just take me. Take me, Lord. That sounds like it could have come out of a movie. It should be in a movie.

It was an amazing moment. Every so often, we'll look at each other and be like, yep, just acknowledging that that happened. We're like, yep, that happened. All right, all right. We're literally halfway through this show, and we have done nothing but be ridiculous. So I think, if anything, it's time we go up to Chopter Copter.

Chopter Copter 7. And see what's going on in the traffic. What's going on, Crednor? Well, since Black Friday is over, everyone's just here on Cyber Monday. So there's literally no cars aside from the people going to work and school. Which, I mean, who's doing that? Because everybody's at home buying deals on Cyber Monday. So, uh, that's it.

Thanks, Crandor. Now back to Crandor in the studio. So, what's the weather looking like? Today we're looking at Helena, Oklahoma. Ooh. I mean, ah, freaking weather forecast popped up. I don't want to hear that. That's the point, isn't it? No, but I don't want to hear the actual people's weather.

Oh, okay, okay, okay. It's going to be 40 degrees Fahrenheit right now. It's going to be 50 today. It's going to be sunny. There's going to be a lot of wind. It's going to be 53% humidity, so not too humid, but a little bit humid. There's a waxing gibbous moon, and I don't really see it. The winds are going to be at 20 to 30 miles per hour,

so if you have a small child, you may want to hold on to them so that they don't fly away. Into the waxing gibbous moon. Yeah. I mean, those waxing gibbous moons can be dangerous. Very, very dangerous. Don't get in their van. All right, and what's going on with sports?

Sports, the Cleveland Browns won a game. Against the Steelers? They beat the Steelers. Was it a white flag ruse uh they actually took down that promotion really I wonder why I have no idea but apparently the Browns beat the Steelers even though the Steelers had Roethlisberger hurt and started Charlie Batch who was like 50 years old and threw three interceptions and had eight turnovers, which is the most the Steelers have had since like 1920.

Wow. Back in 1920 when they actually were all steel workers. Yeah. And that's what happened. Jacobi Jones. Wait, Jacobi Jones. He, I didn't see any kickoff returns. Hold on. hold on.

This is important. Did he have the weekend off? He was like balls to it. He had five catches for 50 yards. That's pretty good. That's pretty good for Jacoby Jones. And the Ravens won, so it was worth it. He should be on all your fantasy teams, I'm just saying.

Jacoby Jones. Mm-hmm. All right, that's it. That's all there is to it. So what's our big news story today? Wait, actually no Wait, hold on, we can't go to the big news story Because remember last week? We had, right before we left

You teased something And you, we were talking about how there were four things That's just what I always do Five things that make you dumb Yes, yes Make you dumb Exactly make you dumb. Yes, yes. Make you dumb. Exactly. Make you dumb.

Okay. Make you dumb. What are they? Let's go over them again. Well, let me just... Okay, first, number one, you rely on the web too much. Number two, you drive everywhere. Number three, you go with fries instead of salad.

Number four, you stay cooped up in the office. And number five, you're always traveling for business. Okay, okay. Break these down for me. I know I had issues with these last time. So number one. Well, number one, it says, Why rack your brain for the name of the great Chinese restaurant downtown when you can just check the internet?

Have a search engine in your pocket 24-7 makes things super convenient convenient, but it also makes you super forgetful according to Columbia University's study from 2011. When you're constantly searching the web for instant answers, you're not helping yourself remember stuff, just where

to find it. Here's a better approach. No, but that's how society changes. No! No, I refuse to accept that. Society changes based on what we need to survive. In order to survive right now, you don't need to memorize exact locations because you only need to memorize

how to use the thing that gets you to the exact location. That's adaptation. These scientists should call their dear friend Darwin and ask him what's up because that's what that is. We're using tools. That's humanity. Here's a better approach.

If you want to remember something, repeat the information a few times out loud. You are not six years old! No. No. No. Learn how to use a device. If you're super old and you're like, I can't see the small screen, then you know what?

Find a screen you can see or use your brain because apparently that's what people did in the Stone Age. But it's the technological age now. Man has adapted, and should the world ever end and we have to go into a post-apocalyptic zombie free-for-all, then we'll learn some things again. We'll learn to adapt. That's how we roll.

Balls to number one. That's wrong that's wrong continue number two you drive everywhere if a caveman skipped his cardio he likely made up for it by walking those long miles home from work at night meanwhile you hop in your car the problem falling short in the fitness department hurts you more than your physique 2011 study shows that the brain's striatum an area associated with the exact... I'm sorry, what was that? Stratum. The brain's what? Stratum. Okay. Uh,

well, it's saying you're lazy if you drive, and that here's hope. A year of regular aerobic exercise can up the size of an adult's hippocampus by 2% So that's how they're saying this makes you smarter by driving you're becoming stupider So if you walk more it increases the size of your brain Apparently, but does having a big brain necessarily make you smart

This is there's a lot of people who probably have ginormous brains who are just idiots. That's true. Balls to two. Two's wrong. It might make you healthier, but it doesn't make you smarter. It's wrong. Number three. You go with fries instead of salad.

Obesity rates are up since ancient times? So much. So much. Hold on. Wait. Wait. Hold on. Wait, hold on. I would like to challenge that notion because every time you see a guy who runs a tribe in any type of film, he's always like 300 pounds. And all the other tribe members are like, oh, you're the best.

And he's like, and he's sitting there eating his giant feast of food. So I challenge that hypothesis. First off, television wouldn't lie to me. Secondly, again, this is health. This isn't about your brain. Is it saying that fried foods shrink your brain? It doesn't make any sense. The brains of obese people work harder than those of normal weight people. To achieve the same results, says Carnegie Mellon University,

see high blood pressure and inflammation, both of which strike obese people hard, But if it's more difficult, your brain has to work harder, which means your brain is losing more weight than other brains, so your brain is more physically fit. And your brain's more physically fit. And your brain's working harder, so you learn more, just like how you're making up for the first one, which is using the web, because your brain's working harder. Right?

If anything, McDonald's is making you smarter. Yeah. I think it's what we found out. Number four. You stay cooped up in the office. In a recent study of 22 people, researchers gave participants a decision-making test while pumping the room full of carbon dioxide. What? I don't think I'd want to be a part of this. They found that as the levels of carbon dioxide increased, people's focus and ability to strategize plummeted.

It could be that excess CO2 in your blood leads to lack of oxygen in the brain. Some plants, like peace lilies and lady palms, have been found to remove air pollutants. What? Okay. So apparently, if you pump a room full of carbon dioxide... If you're trying to kill someone in an office

and they stay there... They're gonna have a bad time. They're dumb. They're dumb if they stay there. If you're actually trying to murder your office and they don't move, you have got some dumbass employees. Feel free to kill them. Yeah. But apparently NASA says that 15 minutes of fresh air will fix that. Oh, oh, well, if they get outside, good.

But if you lock the doors, they can't. That's true. Just saying. Lock get outside, good. But if you lock the doors, they can't. That's true. Just saying. Lock your doors, people. Number five. You're always traveling for business. Different time zones aren't just messing with your sleep patterns. They're messing with your smarts.

Researchers at Cal Berkeley changed hamsters' sleep schedules, the equivalent of traveling from New York to Paris every three days for a month. They found that jet-lagged hamsters weren't as smart. They produced 50% fewer neurons than they did when they were sleeping normally. Researchers speculate that production of sleep hormone melatonin stress and increased cell deaths from lack of sleep

could be to blame. It's a good thing hamsters are not in charge of companies. Yeah. Because that would be bad. It would. That would be. Who goes from New York to Paris every three days? Jet setting models Oh So they don't need to be smart anyway

Yeah, exactly So if anything, this is perfect Yeah Alright, is that all they had for that story? That's all they got Alright, well then let's move on to our big new story the big one the one I you said was amazing we can go into the surprising causes of erectile dysfunction if you want no but it's a related article oh my god. I'm going to pass on that one.

Alright, I'm going to pass on that too. Here's a story. Man arrested after telling kids Santa isn't real. What? How can you get arrested for that? A real life Grinch was arrested after he spoiled the holiday cheer at a parade telling children that Santa isn't real. arrested after he spoiled the holiday cheer at a parade telling children that santa isn't real the unidentified 24 year old man who apparently was identified because they found out he's 24 years old had had his hair gelled to look like the devil looked like he had devil horns he was arrested by police in the canadian town of kingston week. Oh, it was in Canada.

Okay. The Canadians, they will arrest you for doing anything bad. It was pretty despicable that someone during this time of the year would tell kids Santa isn't real, which, of course, we would argue, says Const Steve Koopman. I would argue that as well. Says who? Says Const Steve Koopman? I don't know what that means.

Is that Constable? Oh, yeah, Const well. Says who? Says Const Steve Kutman? I don't know what that means. Is that Constable? Oh, yeah, Constable. Says Const. I was like, what the hell is a const? Well, it says const. I'm going to argue that Santa is real as well. Because you know what? Agreed.

You can't disprove it. Santa is, he lives where you expect him to live. Yeah. Yeah Yeah In your mind And in the North Pole Yeah Are there penguins in the North Pole? Or is that the South Pole? I know there are polar bears in the North Pole

Because they are all drowning right now Oh yeah And drinking coke That's true what if we just replace the water with coke then the polar bears will be fine they would love it right if anything they would jump into the water so so what happened to this guy i mean he got arrested that says it that's what happened to him for like Well, that wasn't really my big story. I kind of just wanted to read that story. Well, we're almost out of time now.

Okay, fine, fine. Hint the big story, and we'll do it tomorrow. What's the big story for tomorrow? All right. The big story for tomorrow is 10 beauty mistakes that turn him off. Oh, wow. This is your main story? I don't know.

I just looked at Yahoo, and I found this one. It sounds like you got it from a Cosmo magazine. Well, it's on Yahoo, and it's written by realbeauty.com. If there's anything two single men are good at, it is analyzing an article devoted to women on how to pick up men. So we're good. We're good. Yes.

Oh, my God. All right. Tune in tomorrow, guys. That should be a whole hell of a lot of fun. And thank you for listening. Thank you for watching. And, as always, to be continued. I'll see you next time.