Cox n' Crendor Show - Cox N' Crendor Beta: Tuesday, December 4th

Episode Date: December 4, 2012

December is here! A time for Holiday cheer and festive delights! Also talk about heads popping off, stress stink, and the extremely boring love lives of people in the business world.

Hello everybody, it's Tuesday! What is up next, Crendor in the morning? What is up next, Crendor in the morning? Hello everybody, it's Tuesday. Welcome to another episode of Cox and Crendor in the morning. My name is Jesse Cox. That is Crendor over there. We skipped Monday. Yeah, I'm not going to lie. We had some issues, and those issues were we hung out for the weekend and really didn't I'd consider that an issue

that's true but really we didn't you know it rained and we played video games and and watch predator it's a thing to do if you're with a bunch of guys if they're dudes present predator is on tv somewhere it's just it's one of the unwritten rules. And so yeah, and we had fun. And we were very, very lazy. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Internet. And that movie with Ray Gunn. Oh, uh,

Red Tails. Yeah. Horrible film. It was really bad. It takes the Tuskegee Airmen story and just beats it into the ground with bad George Lucas storytelling. And tie fighting. It's true. The fight scenes are like the Star Wars fight scenes.

They are, except in World War II. And there's always the pilot. There are two white pilots who are the two heads in the pod racing scene in episode one. They're like, little Anakin Skywalker. Except for this time they're like, wow, those black pilots sure are great. It's like, really? Really? It's bad.

And, yeah, what else did we do? Did we do anything? I think we went out to dinner. That was it. We lead really exciting lives. We had really good steak. I'm pretty sure my stomach is still, like, enjoying it. Like, it's remembering that steak.

It's just like, oh. Well, we celebrated is why. We went out and we celebrated. For people who are wondering, somehow, we're, like, in the top 10, top 20, depends on where you are around the world, of iTunes. Yeah. I don't even know how that happened. I thank you guys for that.

A lot of people have been leaving comments that have been giving us five stars, and I don't know why. It checks in the mail. What did I want that slogan to be? We're not even trying. We're not even trying? We're not even trying. We're not even trying. Cox's Ender in the morning.

That should be our new logo. So when it gets on that front page, it just says we're not even trying. Take that, Chris Hodwick. That needs to be it. So for those of you who are like, why aren't they jumping into the show today? Because we feel like since yesterday we took the day off. Let's be honest. We're just going to freeball it today. Freeball it? We're going to freeball it today? Yeah, I mean. We're going to go

where we go. I'll drink to that. Yeah. Alright, so I think today, before we get started with anything, there's something on my mind. Today I was watching TV. And while I was watching TV, there was a commercial. And it was for a woman's deodorant. And in this commercial, already, any commercial geared towards women, you know something's up with it. It's just not legit. And this one was, there's different types of sweat. And only our deodorant fights all types of sweat. Did you know that there's stress sweat?

Stress sweat is stinkier than normal sweat. And I almost jumped out of my seat and was like, how do you know this? Um, have you ever smelled stress sweat? I didn't know that you were supposed to. All these things, there's so many levels of confusion I have here. One, someone must have been like, damn, you stink today, Phil. Or I guess, Philippa.

Philippa. Philippa. That's still a guy's name. That's Philippa. That's semantics. Okay. So a woman stunk really bad, and her scientist friend was like, man, I need to do a study about why you stink.

She's like, well, I'm stressed right now. He's like, oh, okay. So in his brain, he's like, I'm going to do a study about stink, stress, sweating. I guess. I don't even know. This study formed somehow. I know that Mythbusters had one about fear, sweat, and normal sweat, but they couldn't tell the difference, but people who are really sensitive could. I guess someone, I asked this on Twitter today.

It's driving me crazy. I was like, I can't, this is not a thing, is it? Well, apparently, it's a thing. Everyone's like, didn't you know that? No! I was completely unaware of this fact. And here I was thinking this was another ad targeting women who are susceptible to like, you must be perfect for your man. Instead,

this is a real thing and women should worry. Ladies, you stink when you're stressed. Apparently. You are very smelly. Notice guys apparently just stink at one level of disgusting. Let me break it down. Did you look this up? No. You just noticed off one level of disgusting. Let me break this down for you.

Did you look this up? No. You just know this off the top of your head. I just know it. Oh, okay. Continue. So when you sweat normally, what are you doing? Some strenuous activity.

So when you sweat, you're always stressed. You mean physically. You're physically stressed is, you're always stressed. You mean physically. You're physically stressed. When are you not going to sweat and not be stressed? Or when are you going to sweat and not be stressed? Yeah. But people work out to relieve stress. Oh, it's all coming together now.

Because if you work out, you're relieving stress. And the sweat is what you're expelling. And so if you're out, you're relieving stress, and the sweat is what really, like, you're expelling, right? And so if you're stressing, the sweat is the exact same thing. It's like getting the stress out of you. It's oiling you up for a day of no stress, right? Right? Is that? I'm on the same page.

Besides the fact that I just said it's oiling you up, I'm on the right page, right? Stress, the natural oiler. Stress is a natural lubricant. So if anything, we should be stressed all the time. That makes the most sense I think I've ever heard. It explains why I firmly believe that if I'm not under pressure, I don't get things done. And I get things done because I slip and slab my way through them to victory. Stress.

It's what's for dinner. Hmm. If you ate sweat, would you be eating stress? You would be like the guy from the Green Mile. You would be. Sorry. We saw the commercial from The Green Mile. Sorry. We saw the commercial for that this weekend, too. And he was just like,

I'm going to take all your stress away. I want to get out of here. And then he sucks all his, he sucks his cancer or whatever, and it comes out as, I was never sure what came out of his mouth that movie. Was that ash or bugs? I don't even know. Bugs. I haven't actually seen that movie in a long time.

He doesn't shoot bees out of his mouth. Take another hit from that bong, buddy. You mean spring water? Spring water bong. I only do au naturel, man. I mean, you would think that being in Los Angeles, we would have, like, smelled an enormous amount of marijuana. No, in L.A., it's the city council and everyone there. It's very not approved here.

Oh, speaking of L.A., do I have a story for you. The minute you left on the news, the craziest story came on. Mm-hmm. So some guy was found dead in a health insurance parking lot, right, which is ironic in itself. But he had no head. And here's what the police said. He committed suicide. Because he had no head?

Yes. I'm going to give you a second to try and figure this out. I want you to give me your theory on how it was a suicide if he had no head. Why would you cut off your head? How could you cut off your head? That's the thing. Guillotine. There was no guillotine there.

I'm going to let you go. I'm going to give you a chance to figure this out. Okay. What else was around him? Nothing. He was on the ground. In the middle of a parking lot. In a parking structure outside of a healthcare facility.

He was on the ground in a healthcare facility. How did he die? Come on, Sherlock. Figure this out. All right. He is actually a cyborg I don't know how that would relate to him losing his head But, no

Only his arm is a cyborg So he's jacked And he can turn it into things And he turned it into a saw And he chopped his head off And right when that happened His arm changed back to a normal arm But

Okay That is borderline just real stupid. I like how it's only borderline. It's not actually stupid. Yeah, because science is progressing to the point where one day man could do that. I'm not going to deny the fact that in the future a man could change his hand into a saw, cut off his head, and then it revert back to human hand. I mean, look, anything's possible with technology these days.

I mean, we have iPhones, for God's sake. But that's not the fact. The truth is, apparently, this man tried to commit suicide by going to the top floor of the parking structure and hanging himself, except he hung the rope and then jumped off the parking structure, and the gravity plus his body weight plus the rope around his neck popped his head right off. And I've never heard of this before.

I feel like movies have lied to me because in the movies, when someone gets hung, they struggle and they're strangling. And usually the hero has time to save them with an arrow or, like, a gunshot to the rope, right? And even people who are, like, hey, most of the time when people get hung, they either break their neck or, like, horrible things, like, they just sit up there for a while. And some people don't even die, like, their neck's so thick they just don't die and they have to, like, kill them, right? But I've never heard of anyone's head just popping off. i was like how many times has that happened that's a horrifying thing like oh that's like what if there was a counter that counted how many times that's

happened one i don't think that's a thing there's two in in chicago there's a thing on like the I-90. And it's like a death meter. What? Someone tweeted it to me. What? And it shows how many people have died in traffic accidents to make you aware that you should be careful driving. What the hell does that have to do with a guy popping his head off? See, there was a thing that was like, there was a suicide counter that was like,

these are how people have killed themselves. Get help, right? Like, don't, don't, don't do that. You know, one of those preventative things. Understandable. Okay, that's good. You can help people with that. But you're saying specifically for head popping offs,

there needs to be a counter somewhere. So just someone get a billboard and just tally the number of head pop-offs there have been. They can't be shot off. They can't be sawed off. They can't be cut off. They can't be knocked off. Only popped off. So, basically,

it would be one. I'm pretty sure it would stay at one. It's crazy. Like, I realize that this is sort of belittling the fact that a man killed himself, which is very sad for his family and everyone. But still, a dude's head popped off. Like, you don't see that every day. I didn't even know that was a thing that could happen. Now we do.

Now we do. Now, if it happens in the future, dude, can you believe his head popped off? And I'll be like, yeah. I remember. When that situation arises. When you're very old, like, sit down and let me tell you a story about when a man's head popped off. I'm like, Grandpa, not this story again.

The only story you tell. And then you show them your counter in the living room. You've always wanted to know what that counter was. It's the head pop-off counter. It says one. Sixty years later, it still

says one. Holy crap. Oh my god. Again, I apologize to everyone involved with that story. It's horrible. We're just bad people. But, I mean, come on. I'm glad we started this episode with those two

insanely stupid stories because now the people who are going to give us bad reviews, they've already given bad reviews and left, and now it's just you and us, people. Now we have you where we want you. Which is? Still listening. Oh, oh, oh.

Because we really want you to keep listening. I thought we were going to take them to chapter 7 for a look at the traffic with our man Crendor in the sky. Crendor. The sky is crazy today. There's stuff all over. There's lightning and snow. today. There's stuff all over. There's lightning and snow and I even see Santa Claus and he's here

from the North Pole scouting out the area. Thank you. Come again. Did we hire a new guy to do this? That's the sick guy. I bring him in on days where I don't feel like going to work. Hold on, hold on, hold on. But you're here. Yeah. And they were just like, I'm gonna do a voice

for this other character So now it's a character in the helicopter Are we stepping it up? Are we trying to get better production value on this show? He's the No he's the replacement He won't be back tomorrow He's kind of insane

What? I mean he did say Santa was scouting the area Which is borderline stalking Santa's looking in on all your children tonight folks I mean, he did say Santa was scouting the area, which is borderline stalking. Santa's looking in on all your children tonight, folks. So be sure to leave the window open. He'll be paying them a visit. I mean, it's in a song. If you think about that song, that's a really creepy song.

He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. Yeah. He knows if you've been bad or good. It could turn into a horror movie. I'm sure there have been horror movies where Santa's like an evil monster. But not good ones. Well, how can you make a good horror movie about I'm sure there have been horror movies where Santa's like an evil monster. But not good ones. How can you make a good horror movie about Santa

killing people? Oh, I could. But no one would watch it. It'd be good, though. It'd be one of those art films. Le Fin Santa. And then it's French. We need to Kickstarter that so we can get that into production. We do.

And Santa is played by just an old sad man with no beard. And he doesn't even wear a Santa outfit. He just is called Santa Lesenik. And that's his life story. And it opens with Mrs. Claus in the background just like crying in the corner. And Santa's on a stool in the kitchen, and he's got a plate of cookies and a glass of milk, and he's just smoking a cigarette in black and white.

It's such a good idea. I can create gold. Oh, okay, Alchemist. That'll be your name. That'll be your director name. The Alchemist. The Alchemist. People will be like, who made this movie? They'll be like, The Alchemist. Oh, myist. People will be like, who made this movie?

They'll be like, The Alchemist. Oh, my God. They'll be like, oh, shit. Because you're French, you have to be Le Alchemiste. This is why we're not in the top ten in France. Yeah, this is why we will never be in the top ten in France. Enough of that crazy man in the helicopter. What's going on over at the weather desk?

Crandor. Today we're looking at Jay, Oklahoma. Today in Jay, we got some crazy things going on. It's going to be 63 degrees with AM showers, but these are no ordinary showers. These are thunderstorms. But watch

out, because you never know when those Oklahoma tornadoes are going to pop up out of nowhere. So you're saying there's going to be tornadoes, or are you just saying to watch out? I would say tune in tomorrow to find out. That is the most irresponsible weather segment ever. Are there

tornadoes? That works though. Tune in tomorrow to find out. Will you die? That's what they do on all the TV stations. They're just like, Mega Death Storm the 4th coming in on Thursday. Tune in to see all the destruction. You don't know that there's going to be tornadoes.

They have a, look, look, there's a map here and the radar says a big storm is coming. You don't know that there's not going to be tornadoes. I am warning them. I guess you have a point. I'm not going to argue with that. That's why you're the weather guy and I'm not. We can also see some local tweets from the area. That's not.

That's not. Let's get a tweet from Marissa Schmidt. She said, Wish I had a bathtub in my dorm. I miss bubble baths. Bubble baths in Sunday showers are impossible. Not Sunday. Sunday. Sunday.

Sunday showers are impossible. I can barely shave my legs. Hashtag Marissa Probs. These are wonderful. I have no words. All right. Wow. That is really sad.

It's very sad. Okay. Not going to lie. Okay. And I guess now it's time to go on to our sports desk. Well, not so good. Jacoby Jones had a bad day. I heard.

I heard. I heard. One catch for five yards. And he also had some mediocre kick returns for, like, normal yardage that anybody can get. Anybody. Anybody. Anybody can show up in the professional level and just get those yards. Yes. But on the flip side, Greg Jennings came back, had a pretty decent game for his first game back. He's on his way back up to putting the team on his back.

We got a request, actually. Someone said, hey, you guys cover too much football. You should cover soccer as well. And I was like, you mean football? Unlike football Americans? Why would we listen to them if they'd call it soccer? Yeah, exactly. They obviously aren't a real fan.

So point is invalid. And you can just imagine if we call it football that we're talking about soccer stars jacoby jones soccer star yeah just get that image in your mind and then use your ignorance for power if ignorance was power this country would be self-sustaining now it's time, Crandor. Should I read our first article of the day? Yes, that's what we're getting into. All right, the moment you've been waiting for. It's time for our first article of the day.

Hit me, buddy. Tap water pesticides linked to allergies. What? Read this. As food allergies become increasingly common, a new study offers the first proof that they may be linked to pesticides found in tap water. Researchers at the American College of Allergy, Asthma, and Immunology used existing government data to see whether people with more dichlorphenols... I'm sorry, what?

...in their urine were more likely to have food allergies. Dichlorophenols are a kind of chlorine in certain pesticides that are known to kill bacteria, and in theory, they could be killing the naturally occurring bacteria in humans' digestive systems, causing food allergies. Quote, We wanted to see if there was an association between certain pesticides and food allergies, and we were specifically interested in diclofloranols because those were the ones that had this antibacterial effect,

said lead researcher Dr. Elina Gershow. When researchers have compared bacteria from the bowel in healthy kids versus bacteria in the bowel for kids that have a lot of allergies, they've noticed a big difference. in the bowel for kids that have a lot of allergies, they've noticed a big difference. So the hypothesis then is the more tap water you drink, the more likely you are to be susceptible to food allergies?

Is that what we're supposed to get from this? Because that seems more like a coincidence than an actual connection to me. I'm just going to be honest with you here. How much do you know about dichloroform? About as much as you. I know about as much as you. The gist here is they're saying what? Drink more bottled water? Maybe.

Because even most bottled waters comes from taps. There's very few bottled waters that actually come from real springs. I don't want to ruin the illusion for everybody. Either this article is saying, one, stop drinking tap water, or two, stop putting pesticides in whatever that can run off into tap water. Either way, what's the point of this article? It's one of those two. It can't be anything else. Here, I'll read it.

Researchers were surprised to find that dilichlorovaluronol levels in urine did vary between urban and rural areas. They concluded that even those who opted for bottled water instead of tap water could ingest the pesticide chemical from eating fruit, fruit juices, and food with cocoa powder, like chocolate. Okay, so the solution is don't use that chemical anymore then. Mm-hmm. All right, well, great. So that will never happen. We need to go to the government.

So what we need to do is the same thing people have been calling for for years, like get rid of pesticides. Great. That will never happen. So thanks for the study, government, scientists. Just get your water from Fiji. It's all fake, all of it. You're lying.

I'm not lying. It's all fake. Fiji isn't even a real place. Yeah, it is. Prove it. Have you been to Fiji? I've been to. It's all fake. Fiji isn't even a real place. Yeah, it is. Prove it. Have you been to Fiji? I can prove it with the internet. Yes.

And not everything on the internet is true. Have you been to Fiji? Yes. In my mind, man. I went... You're not hitting your ball. I went there. I went there two years ago on a business trip.

What business? The water business? Yes. Oh, great. What business? The water business? Yes. Oh, great. In fact, I was against dilichlorofluronols, and my fellow business partners were for it, and I was fired because of that reason.

And I said, you know what? I'm going to the only water company that does not use dilichlorofluronols, Fiji, because they get their water. So today's episode, you have warned people in Oklahoma about a tornado that doesn't exist. You have claimed to be part of a national conglomerate of people trying to poison our water supply and then left them and gone to Fiji. And now you're endorsing only water from Fiji. The Fiji water that is like $8 a bottle. Basically, that's what you're saying. So, all right. As I drink my glass of tap water.

You have pretty much run the gamut today of offensive, so keep it up. All right, what's our last story? Our last story of the day is cold weather dates gone wrong. Now this is the last story. Enough of that, oh, we're trying to help you by giving you information about water. No, no, no.

This is a story fit for this podcast. Blanket Blaze. My girlfriend and I were trapped inside during a terrible blizzard a few years ago. It was Christmas time. Wait, was that the title? I was like, why did he? While you the title? I was like, why did he? While you're reading, I'm like, why did he say

blanket blaze? So they were trapped inside a blanket during a terrible blizzard and they decided to just curl up under a blanket, watch Christmas movies, and light a fire. As we were sitting on the floor near the fireplace, we both smelled something burning, thinking it was the fireplace or our hearts.

It does not say that! It doesn't. Oh, all right. I was about to say, like, who writes, or our hearts? I thought it would just add to the atmosphere. Good. But then I looked down and saw that the blanket we were under was on fire. An ember must have jumped out of the fireplace and set the thing ablaze.

Luckily, we snuffed it out before either of us got burned. Will, 28-year-old attorney in Ohio. If anything, it was a story that he and she shared. Like, remember that time I was burned alive? I'm so glad you were there for me. Yeah, I'll protect you from weather and

fires and shit. I love you, baby. I love you too. Let's bang in our partially burnt blanket. If anything, that's a story to tell the grandkids. Spoiler, they're no longer dating. Look out below. A date and I went for a winter hike. It was cold, but the sun was out and the icicles were starting to melt off of the trees.

We were walking along the trail holding hands when all of a sudden we heard a loud- Why is Morgan Freeman there? Finish this as Morgan Freeman, go. When all of a sudden we heard a loud crack from what seemed like far away. A second later, a giant icicle fell out of the sky and landed right on my date's head. Luckily, it didn't knock him out or draw blood or anything, but he definitely went down. We both had a good laugh about it after he was okay.

How did this happen? Meg, 26-year-old marketing coordinator in New York. As my good friend Andy Dufresne once said. Get busy living or get busy dying. And obviously, he got busy living. Because he was not dying to an icicle. These really aren't dates gone wrong. They're silly.

Like, oh, you got hit by an icicle. Let's do it under this icicle tree. The icicle tree? I just it under this icicle tree. The icicle tree? I just picture like a tree now. Just grows icicles. Worst. Single worst tree ever. It's like kids.

You better watch out for the big icicle tree. Oh, daddy. Those icicles never fall. Just you wait. Come spring. They're going to get you. All right. Next. Next are Voyage Through Love.

Number three. Number... Number whatever. That's a French Santa song. Sorry. Sorry, sorry news guy. Story time. Yeah, yeah.

Oh my god, can i branch off sure i was at a barnes and noble and this woman was reading to these kids because it was apparently like story time and this one kid kept interrupting her and i could tell she was getting really frustrated she was like and this is what Tom the turkey said. He's like, that's what Tom the turkey said. And she was like, correct. And now Tom the turkey goes, he's like, Tom the turkey just said something. And she was like, yes, he did. Is he talking to her?

I imagine he's giving the phone by playing some other kid. There's a kid on a phone. And he's talking to this kid on the phone. He's like, what happened to Tom now? Tom the turkey's talking. What's he doing now? What's he doing now? It's his little kid wife.

I don't know the deets. All I know is that's what I heard. And I heard what I heard. That's all that I heard. Yeah. All right, Popeye. What's next on our great story adventure? Next is out with the old, in with the new with a P-N-E-U. My boyfriend and I decided to go to the Coney Island Polar Bears Club Polar Bear Plunge.

Oh, like pneumonia. Okay, yeah. On New Year's Day last year. We both thought it would be dot, dot not fun but exciting a challenge and something to talk about believe it or not swimming in the frozen atlantic ocean isn't as isn't as fun as it sounds especially for my boyfriend who caught pneumonia he was sick for three weeks jackie 28 year old business senior business analyst new New York. I'm not saying that all of our people are in the world of finance.

You notice this? I'm not saying these people have incredibly boring lives, but these are like their crazy winter stories. You have a boring life. Like, what is a senior business analyst? What do you do? They analyze the business of the elderly. So they're useless.

I can't wait to get the emails that are like, that's not what they do, Jesse. You know what? We're going to look it up right now. No, senior business analyst. What does a senior business analyst analyze? A senior business analyst analyzes something in business. I don't know what. And they're the top people who do it because they've been there longest.

I don't know. I don't know these things. It's a nothing job. All right. The analyst works with the business to identify opportunities for improvement in business operations and processes. So basically they do a job that a monkey could do. So basically they do the job that the person is supposed to do that isn't doing their jobs they out there being outsourced to yes mm-hmm

look I could do this but I'd rather be golfing so you do it for me when I make my company oh we're gonna have our business analyst like you and we're gonna have three positions. Really? There's going to be the leader, which is me. The leader. There's going to be. Yes, okay, comrade.

There's going to be the pawns. What? I don't think you should call them the pawns. They're the ones who are sacrificed. Okay. No, we have changed it. There's going to be only chess piece positions. There'll be the pawns. Who wants to be a pawn?

Bishops, the knights This is a horrible idea The rooks, the queen And I am the king This is the worst idea ever, okay You'll be trying to get into my company No, I won't Or stealing my idea

No, I won't Alright, read the rest of these things so we can get out of here. I mean, just imagine it. You're just sitting there. You're like, Bishop, what you got for me? It'd be cool if there was a dude named Bishop, but you can't call everyone Bishop. You can say Bishop, and two guys are going to turn and look at you every time. Okay, I'd just be like, where are the rooks at?

Yes, and there would be two rooks. If you say, bring me, like, hey, pawn, 80 people would turn their heads. Oh, yes, we only have turn their heads. Oh, yes. We only have two rooks. Oh, my God. This is genius. This is the dumbest idea ever. Dumbest, single dumbest idea.

All right. Move on. Next story. Putting the fart before the horse. Really? Oh, Jesus. Okay. Yeah.

I thought a horse and carriage ride. Wait. I thought a horse and carriage ride... Wait, I thought a horse and carriage... Oh, I thought he was going to say I bought. I thought a horse and carriage ride for my wife and I would be a nice cold weather date. So we went to the park where they set those up every winter and I climbed in. It was a nice night, not too cold. And we were looking forward to a relaxing trip through the park. I don't know what they fed the horse before it went on duty,

but because we were sitting behind it, we had to use the blankets to cover our noses the entire time. Not exactly a winter wonderland, says Jeremy, a 38-year-old author from New Jersey. First off, he's Jeremy, a 38-year-old plagiarizer. That's an episode of Seinfeld. That is

a dead-on episode of Seinfeld where George takes his wife's parents out on a carriage ride, and the horse farts in their faces the entire time, and they have to use blankets. That's an episode of Seinfeld. Now I'm mad at this article. It started out I was joyous and filled with love, and now this guy ruined it. This guy single-handedly ruined it for me. Well, this is the last story, though.

Oh, okay, yeah. So prepare yourself. I'm prepared. The last story. I'm going to Morgan Freeman it again. Okay, okay. Rudolph the Red Light Reindeer. Is this about hookers?

I'm into this one. I'm into it. This is the last story. This is going to redeem the whole article for me. Go. My city has an annual light-up night, which is the night when they light up the Christmas tree in the middle of the town. My girlfriend and I were having a great time,

but the place got super crowded. So I suggested driving to a part of town that was a little higher up where we could look down. We had plenty of time until the ceremony, but we hit every possible red light on the way and missed the light lighting itself. Are you kidding me? But, there's a happy ending. Yeah, there was. Because we ended up... But,

because we ended up getting the best view of the city and enjoyed the lights together with no one else around to block our view except the hooker. Because we were in the red light district. Even your lies

can't save the story. Thanks John, another 32 year old editor. I'm done. I'm done. That entire article started with such potential, and then it just went downhill. These people have the most boring lives ever.

These are not worth sharing on the internet. Nothing fun. It's just like, I went to the mall, and then I tripped over a rock. These are like average problems, except there was snow involved, or the holiday season. Like, there was lots of red lights. That happens all the time. You could replace that with, we were gonna

go see the fireworks and I wanted to get a good view for the 4th of July, but there were a lot of red lights and we missed it. My heart is broken. It's gone. I have nothing. I have nothing left to give. Alright, that's it. That's it, guys. Thank you for listening. Thank you for watching. Uh, this has been a rather long episode. A little bit longer. Make it up

for yesterday. Not that much longer, but a little bit longer. And, uh, yeah. So, thank you for all your support. Making up for yesterday. Not that much longer, but a little bit longer. And yeah, so thank you for all your support. Thank you for your five-star ratings on iTunes. That's nuts. And thank you guys for just being completely awesome. We will see you tomorrow. And as always, to be continued. Goodbye.

Thanks, Morgan. goodbye thanks Morgan