Cox n' Crendor Show - Cox N' Crendor Beta: Tuesday, February 5th 2013

Episode Date: February 5, 2013

For the first time since their psychic powers became known to man, Jesse and Crendor return to the air waves to discuss why they are the greatest sports analysts since sport began. Also they discuss the AMAZING Puppy Bowl IX. But, the show isn't all American sporting events - we also talk about the amazing Cookie Monster robbery and why India is similar to Disney Land. Related Link: http://i.huffpost.com/gen/966580/thumbs/o-STOLEN-GOLD-COOKIE-RANSOM-NOTE-570.jpg?10

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Up and up, next friend in the morning. Hello, everybody. It is another bright and wonderful... And Jacoby Jones Day. It is. It's honorary Jacoby Jones Day. Because yesterday at the Super Bowl, he was amazing. Amazing. Amazing.

For those of you who don't know what the Super Bowl is, it is the... It's pretty much a national holiday here in the States. It's the National Football League's final main battle royale between the two best teams, or I don't know. I wouldn't say two best. As a Steelers fan, two acceptable teams. Yeah, and Greg Jennings should have been there. But Jacoby Jones, we called him at the very beginning.

We did. We called him way back when. It was like week five of the NFL, and we were like, Jacoby Jones, we called him at the very beginning. We did. We called him way back when. It was like week five of the NFL and we were like, Jacoby Jones. It might have been because he has an amazing name, but I think it was because of his skill. I do too. And we first saw it. We knew he was going to be

amazing, and for those who saw the game, he was awesome. 108 yard... I don't even know I think it was like 109 yard Yeah it was 109 it was like the entire field Well it was a kickoff return for 109, 108 yards

He caught a pass Scored a touchdown The man was unstoppable He should have been MVP But most valuable player went to like Flacco Who sounds like He sounds like most valuable player went to Flacco, who sounds like... I think he's the quarterback, which is stupid. He sounds like an 80s rock group.

Flacco. Flacco and the Ravens. Yeah, so it was okay. I was in a room filled with 49ers fans, and they were on the edge of their seat the entire time. At the beginning, they were all depressed, like, oh, this is impossible. And then the most incredible

thing happened in professional sports. The power went out in the entire stadium. Mostly, I think, because they used all of the power to create holograms of Beyonce's ass. That is true. And the jiggle effects were just overwhelming.

My theory was that Jacoby Jones used up all the power in the building, and that's why his second half was not as good. There's actually some really funny meme pictures that had Jacoby Jones. It was like, Jacoby ran the power out of the stadium. Something like that. It was pretty great. For those who aren't aware, the two coaches of the opposing teams were brothers,

so it's a very rare thing, and it was kind of cute that the two brothers were fighting each other in this big event. But one of the things that was tweeted was at the blackout that the two brothers, the Harbaugh brothers, switched bodies like in Freaky Friday. And that's why they were playing differently. Which was kind of funny. But so there was a blackout mid-game and it was like 40-some minutes before the game started again. And I was sitting there like, you play in the snow, in the rain.

You can play in the dark. Seriously. Especially when it's the Super Bowl. Come on. Like, you know how awesome that would have been? That would have been an amazing game. And people are going to complain anyway. At the end there, all the know how awesome that would have been? That would have been an amazing game. And people are going to complain anyway. At the end there, all the

calls of holding that should have been called. Admit, there were a few that should have been called. Weren't called. People are always going to find a way to complain. But if the 49ers would have come back, because the game was routine, I think we're just rambling about this, by the way. Yeah. Look, if you don't know, if you're, I'm trying to remember, like, there are probably people overseas who don't

know what we're talking about. But I guess at this point, screw it. If you don't know, then you don't know. I'm trying to remember. There are probably people overseas who don't know what we're talking about. But I guess at this point, screw it. If you don't know, then you don't know. So either way. Take that, people listening. But either way, the Ravens won, but the 49ers were coming back. And I firmly believe that if the 49ers would have won, there would have been conspiracy theorists everywhere who was like, the power was shut off so they could win. I would have been one of those people.

I would have, like, went hard into that. I would have started that. We would have just pushed that to, like, we had, like, people rioting in the streets. Uh, what else happened? Destiny's Child showed up halfway through to sing, uh, put a finger ring on it or whatever the hell a damn song beyonce sings and they were like we used to be a band and now we're

just kind of people that used to be in the band now they're back together for a world tour or some junk who cares when it comes to commercials uh most of them really sucked I'm trying to think of any good ones There was one The most amazing commercial award By far goes to the church of Scientology There's this commercial That had all these cool hip kids And it looked like a commercial for a university

It's like changing your life forever It's like beyond reason And it's like this amazing visual piece And it goes Scientology Everyone in piece, and it goes, Scientology. Everyone in the room was like, what? What? That needs to be our ad for our show. It does.

Except instead of Scientology, it's like, Exit Credor. It was amazing. It was so silly. I don't know why they made that but that was pretty great uh that commercial that was like 55 minutes long that was like oh you're an american farmer oh my god holy crap i i understand what they were going for like it was very red state american like yeah farmers but this country hasn't had that type of farmer in a long time. There was maybe one Mexican family there. I hate to break it to America, but most farming is done by immigrants at this point.

Or laboratories. Yeah, I mean, they're like American farmers. I don't remember what the commercial was. It was Paul Harvey. It was for like a Ford commercial. Yeah, it's Paul Harvey who is an old folksy, timey guy. I think he's dead. He may be dead. I don't know. I'm pretty sure he's dead. I think he used to be a radio person. Yeah, he's Paul Harvey who is a, like, old folksy, timey guy. I think he's dead. He may be dead.

I don't know. I'm pretty sure he's dead. I think he used to be a radio person. Yeah, he was on radio. He was the guy who was like, and now you'll know the rest of the story. He would, like, tell you a story about someone. Paul Harvey. Good day.

And he'd always talk. A really famous one that he told was about Abraham Lincoln. And I think anyone who's ever been on the internet has probably seen that where it's He ran for congress so many times and he failed And he did all this stuff and he failed and then He ran for president and he won like that kind of thing Where it's about not giving up and so he did all these Inspirational radio bits And so they had one

That he did about I guess the American farmer But the commercial went on for like 45 Minutes would not stop And it was boring as balls And I'm sitting there like, these are all like dirty white people there's not one Mexican here and they're the ones who do 90% of the work

now. It was for like a Ford truck. Yeah, it's like Ford salutes the farmer. It's like, no this does, or like the farmer and all of us or whatever it was, it's like this America does not exist anymore. Learn your advertisements Ford. What was that GoDaddy one? Oh my god, yes.

Okay, there was a GoDaddy commercial where it's this super model, Danica Patrick, the race car driver, and a guy who is super duper nerdy looking. I don't quite remember his name,

but he has a video on YouTube. You can actually find it. He didn't make it, but I guess someone else did. And it's like a super clip of all the times he's been in movies. Dude's been in like hundreds of movies. He's that background nerd. Like he is the perfect nerd. And the commercial is basically them kissing.

It's like the hot side of GoDaddy.com versus like the nerdy side. And they just start like making out. And that's the entire commercial. It versus the nerdy side. And they just start making out. And that's the entire commercial. It was the stupidest thing. And here's the thing. After it was over, everyone in the room was like, oh, I feel so bad for that girl. I was like, no way. That guy lowered his standards.

I bet he gets so much play because he's rich and famous. It's just a retarded ad. It's just them making out. There's no substance to it. They didn't get creative. Hold on every GoDaddy commercials bad though They've never had a good one most of them are like Danik patches getting in the shower with this porn star What is you have his next go online? I've never gone online to even care what happens next because I know it's not porn

I know it's gonna be like why'd you come online naughty naughty boy? Go to godaddy.com. Shut up. I'm not doing that. That's exactly what it is. Of course it is. You know it's going to be that. I don't even have to go online to know it's stupid. And they're just like, why don't you buy a domain name to see the rest? And so 90% of the commercials are things like the Clydesdales for Budweiser,

which is always overly emotional. Like, a man raised a Clydesdale. And then he goes to see the Clydesdales in Chicago, but the horse doesn't recognize him. But it's only because he has his blinders on. And then when the blinders come off, the horse is like, I know you. And they meet and, like, hug. And it's disturbingly emotional.

Like, why is this guy so into this horse? Most of the commercials were awful. Most everything was awful. There was the Gangnam Style pistachio one. Oh, yes. Psy, Gangnam Style guy, did a pistachio commercial. Opa Kraken Style. It was him cracking pistachios and he had dancing pistachios in the background.

We were like, how much did he get paid for this? He got paid a lot of money by the pistachio companies. I guarantee it. Opa Krakensta. It wasn't even, like, creative or anything. Or maybe it was, like, Cashew Krakensta. I don't know. We couldn't hear it because everyone in the room was, like, freaking out about how mad we were.

Oh, there actually was a commercial at the very beginning for Volkswagen that was, I guess there were several, where it was basically guys like, Hey, man, be happy, brother. Oh, yeah, I saw that. But at the very beginning, it had a bunch of YouTube people in it. It had the girl who cries over a cat. Mostly all the fake YouTube videos.

So it has the girl who cried over the cat. It has when Boogie freaked out and started bashing his... Oh, yeah, his keyboard. His keyboard thing. And basically all the different fake internet freakouts and big viral videos they had on. And so everyone in the room

who's all YouTube people is like, that wasn't even real! And so there's a lot of animosity. I'm just saying people were mad. You can see most of the commercials on YouTube if you're curious. If you're curious what we're talking about, which you shouldn't be because they're all horrible. Yeah.

But there was also the puppy bowl. Holy crap. So after the Super Bowl ended and everyone in the room was super depressed, one of the girls there turns on Animal Planet and says, oh my god, guys you have to watch this. And it was the puppy bowl. america we have

a channel here called animal planet and i assume it's for shut-ins and psychopaths it's also the home of finding bigfoot an amazing show in which four idiots search the woods to find a non-existing creature how dare you say that i'm sorry i sorry. I hate to break it to you. And so what happens then is it's a Super Bowl-like event, except with puppies. And there's no teams. And there's just puppy toys. And they just play with each other for two hours.

And then they have Super Bowl or a Puppy Bowl halftime, which is when kittens come out. And they just play with kitten toys. They shoot off confetti. And then the kittens are like, what the hell is going on? It was amazing. And the puppies, like, they try to give them a story. And it's mind-numbing. They're calling, like, penalties.

They were like, 15-yard penalty for cuteness. Oh, they just would like to let us know that these athletes are not taking any cuteness-enhancing drugs. It was awful. Just awful. They had gerbils in, like, a blimp. No, yeah, hamsters were in the blimp above the stadium, and the cheerleaders were hedgehogs. Yeah. It was.

And then there was a ref. There was one ref who 90% of the time was in the stadium by himself talking to no one, and then they just cut to, like, puppies running around. He's like, hold on, puppies. It was amazing. And it's funny because they were like, hold on, puppies. It was amazing. And it's funny because they were like, this is the ninth puppy bowl. I was like, this is the ninth one. And I imagine this is the most high-budget version because they also had the movie Despicable Me sponsored it.

And then they had some, like, duos fresh breath thing. some like duos fresh breath thing. And so one, at one point in the game, in the game, the ref sits down and pulls out this, this mint packet and puts one in his mouth and goes like, Hmm, it's like a sensation I've never felt before.

Or some like random garbage. It was amazing. How is it? It's one giant ad. At one point he takes out a vacuum cleaner and starts, like, sweeping up the puppy hair. And he's like, this is an amazing vacuum cleaner. It's like, this little vacuum cleaner is. It's like, what?

It's insane. I'm curious. Who watches it? Because, like I said, shut-ins and psychopaths. I was seeing people tweeting about it at the start. I was tweeting about it because I was shocked that it existed. I tried to get a photo. I was too slow.

But I walked in the room just as they were doing the national anthem with dogs superimposed over the American flag. It was amazing. I was like, this is the best thing ever. We need to start something like this. We do. We really do. And then to start something like this. We do. We really do. And then we need to have blatant advertising in it.

Okay, so I'm used to, like, the football announcers and them being, like, stupid. But most people don't watch football, so they're like, who are these announcers? There's Bill Cowher. He looks like a homeless man. Bill Cowher? Here's the thing. Bill Cowher has lost a lot of weight. Like, he wasn't fat, but he used to be like a bigger dude.

And he lost weight, so now his face looks like it's trying to melt off of him. And then he's got his beard, which just makes him look like a hobo at that point. He does. He looks kind of like a hobo. Then there's Shannon Sharp. Who's just like, let me tell you, TB, I got something going on right here, right there. Shannon Sharp is the guy who, he wants to live again as a football player so badly that he wore cleats. He wore custom cleats to the game so he could feel like he was part of the game.

That's how obsessed he is. He's a crazy person. part of the game. That's how obsessed he is. He's a crazy person. I saw Kassim G tweeted, it sounds like 10 men are playing the bass when he talks. It's just so funny. You don't know

what he's saying. He's just like, when he takes the ball, he goes up to the touchdown. That's how he talks. It's so funny. It's so true. And then there's Dan Marino who's just like, I never won a Super Bowl Dan Marino, what's really sad Is during the entire

Pre-game, post-game Entire game, he maybe said four words They do not talk to him at all That's probably because he's just really bitter Like, you've never been here before Shut up Listen, you don't actually know what this is about, okay? So just sit there and do whatever and then there is that other guy it's like boomer or something and he's boomer siason

the famed bangles player oh yeah that's why nobody knows him yes yeah he sits there and does absolutely nothing too he says the stupidest he was like there's one thing for sure somebody's gonna lose this football game so it it's like, no shit. Like they say the stupidest quotes. Straight out of Cincinnati. I can't wait till Chad Ojosinko or T.O. is added to the roster. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something.

Thank God it's Chad Ojosinko. T.O. is going to bring the house down. Those were the best parts. My favorite part, though. Holy crap. As we mentioned earlier, the two teams were coached by brothers, right? So before the game started, they had on the parents of the two brothers and, I guess, their sister. Okay?

I'm convinced mom was hitting the sauce because they started asking questions and they're like, so how do you feel about your sons? And mom's like, I think this is really great! Mom is very proud of her sons! I was like, why are you screaming?

It sounds, either she was drunk or she was just, like, never on television before. And she was just really excited and nervous. And just like, this is television. The dad seemed pretty cool. And the daughter, or, you know, the sister was like, yeah, you know. Like, they asked her one question, like, what's it like to be married to a coach? And she's like, you know, when they lose, it's best they stay at the office for a happy, healthy home. That's, like, literally all she said.

It's like, wow, that sounds personal. Okay. There's, like, Jim Harbaugh and John Harbaugh. John Harbaugh is the Ravens coach, I think. It doesn't matter. It doesn't even matter. Well, it's okay. It's fine.

He's, like, kind of normal. Jim Harbaugh, or the 49er one, he has, like, a seizure after every play. I'm convinced the rivalry between them is so great that he loses his mind knowing that he's going to, like, lose to his brother, and he can't handle that. Like, normally in the season he's crazy, but now up against his brother he is nuts like there is plays where he was just losing it he does that all the time though yeah but that's

because he feels like he's losing it to his brother he's still like he's still 13 and in his mind he probably holds that grudge from when they were 13 that's what i'm saying dad always liked the other one better it makes sense dad seemed pretty happy after that game ended. I'm just saying. Mom was a little tipsy. He's going to go up to me. Did the game end well, sweetie? Yes, Mom.

That's good. They're probably just standing next to each other. He just goes up to me and says, I always knew you were the winner. We are so smart about sports. We are very smart about sports. We are very smart about sports. We predicted Jacoby Jones. We predicted a lot of things, actually. This might be the first one we got right, but I think it's the only one we're going to brag about, so deal with it.

Exactly. That's how we roll. We predict everything until we get something right, and then we brag about that. Yep. So I feel like we spent a lot of time in the Super Bowl today and we need to end with at least one good non Super Bowl story and I think I have the best story for the situation we've been focusing a lot on Florida lately and I feel like we're missing out on the rest of the

world yeah that's true Florida's Florida's nuts. Florida's crazy. We've figured that out. But the rest of the world's just as crazy. Yeah, exactly. If not more so. Florida is like crazy light compared to the rest of the world. It is. Not really. But look, I'm setting up a story here.

Okay. So, a German cookie manufacturer found itself a victim of a crummy theft. The Associated Press reports that police are on the lookout for a giant golden cookie that was stolen from a sculpture atop the Balsen headquarters in Hanover. The 100-year-old 44-pound biscuit went missing earlier in January, baffling authorities until this week when a ransom note was mailed to the Hanover... Hanover Hanover Alamizik New Shaper.

Along with the photo of the apparent thief holding the sculpture while dressed as the cookie monster. I have the cookie and you want it, the letter reads, according to Haas via Spiegel. The perpetrator is demanding that Balson donate cookies to

local children's hospital, making the effort to specify that the cookies be milked chocolate. According to the Huffington Post translation of Haas, if the demands are not met, the gold cookie will wind up in the trash with Oscar the Grouch. How do they know it's a costume? It's the real Cookie Monster. It is. I ran some note was... The vegetable monster or something.

Well, it's his brother then. The ransom note was signed Krummelmonster, or Cookie Monster in German. I like that better than Krummelmonster. Krummelmonster. Krummelmonster. That's why the Germans lost World War II. They didn't use the Krummelmonster. It's a secret weapon. Monster that's why the Germans lost World War two they didn't use the cruel monster Well they put all their R&D into it, but it never was it was it wasn't cost-effective

People keep wondering like they never really found Hitler's body. That's because the crewman monster ate it Monster what are you doing crewman monster? No? Monster and he ate Hitler. That's how the war ended now. I'm eating my German happy hippo Kruma Monster. What are you doing, Kruma Monster? No! Kruma Monster! And he ate Hitler. That's how the war ended. Now I'm eating my German happy hippo. See, you have the cookies. Oh.

Haas confirmed to Der Spiegel that the same letter was also sent to Balsen, which is offering 1,000 euros or $1,300 as a reward for any information that leads to the culprit's capture. Rather than give cookies to, like, poor kids and kids in hospitals, they're like, look, find the cookie monster and destroy him. I'm siding with the cookie monster on this one. Yeah, seriously. While the cookie thief remains at large, it appears the real cookie monster has offered his services to help find the imposter and thus

clear his good name. The cookie monster at Sesame Street wrote, We know still giant cookie, but be willing to help find real cookie thief. Yes. This is an amazing story. This is. This is. And though the motives of the Cookie Thief may be pure,

a spokesperson for the Children's Hospital is quick to remind the public that this is still a rather serious instance of extortion. One cannot forget that we're dealing with a case of theft and blackmail, Bjorn Oliver Bjornsk told us. He's not a real guy. Balson has already done a lot for the hospital it doesn't need to be coerced in this way and then at the end of the article they post the picture of the Cookie Monster. I wanna see it. We're gonna we going to put a link in this description. I want everyone to go to it because it's amazing.

Oh, my God. The more you eat those cookies, I almost wonder if it's you. You're the cookie monster. Like, oh, I have to be scared. It looks more like a blue Kermit the Frog. Well, maybe that's what the Kuruma monster looks like. What if that's the real cookie monster and the one on Sesame Street's an imposter? I'd be willing to make that bet.

The Krumel monster. I like how he really made a ransom demand, like movie-style ransom demand. Oh, boy. That was exciting. That was a fun story. It was exciting. I'm glad the rest of the world is as nuts as Florida. I don't think, I think in Florida it would have just been like,

mom with five kids steals giant cookie. Not gold cookie, just cookie from like bakery. That's the story in Florida. That's the Florida version. Hold on, I have to type in Florida news just to see headlines. Okay. Feral cats to be trapped at federal wildlife refugees. Florida python hunt yield 41 snakes so far. What's funny about that is in Florida, I was listening to this on the radio the other day,

and I thought it was really funny. So that article, I did hear about that, about the python snakes, right? How in Florida they have a thing where it's like you can legally go out and hunt snakes. Like, please, they want you to. They want you to go out and find snakes and kill them, right? And so far they've captured or killed 41 snakes. Want to take a guess how many there are out there? How many?

Somewhere in the range of like several thousand. Yeah, so really they're doing nothing to stop the pythons. I just picture like one guy going out, like this is as meaning in life as to hunt snakes. Yeah, so really they're doing nothing to stop the pythons. I just picture like one guy going out like this is as meaning in life as to hunt snakes. He's like, I'm gonna get them. I'm gonna get those snakes. It's like the movie Anaconda. He's just like walking down the street. He's Jon Voight. If you've never seen the movie Anaconda, watch it for Jon Voight's character because he's like,

Oh, God, you get eggs and they Ain't that cool? That's so amazing. You just walk out your house. You see a guy walking down the street with a machete. He's looking through the gutters. He's like, where's the snakes? Where are they at? You're just like, oh. Anywhere else, that person would be crazy.

In Florida, he's a hero. He's like, there he goes. Get those snakes. Go get a snake hunter! Then he'll get his own TV show on TLC. It's short-lived, though, because he's eventually eaten by a snake. Snake hunter, hunting all the snakes. In the season finale of episode 3, Snake Hunter is arrested.

Of episode 3! He made it three episodes before he was eaten alive by snakes. Well, episode two is he gets arrested for trying to hunt snakes in, like, someone's house. And while he's in prison, that's when the snakes get him. The snakes have taken over the prison. They're wearing the sheriff's hat. They're like,

he's like, no! Then it shows, like, the police officers offside. He, like, takes off his glasses. He's just like, then it shows like the police officers Offside he like takes off his glasses He's just like damn We could have used you snake hunter And then And then it's like six months later

And the snakes have taken over the city And they're running everything like they're driving Cars They have like snake pawn stars He's just like Like they're driving cars. It shows like they have like snake pawn stars. He's just like. That's them bargaining with each other. Snake Maury is like.

That has to be animated. Snake Maury. All the snake shows. All the snake shows. All Maury! Let's move on to chapter copy 7 of The Sky with Grendor. Grendor, how's that traffic out there? Well, traffic today, there's a lot of snow.

There's also some fire and wind and rain i think i also see some fog then if you mix that all together uh that's when you form the great superhero of weather named the great storm and he's out hunting snakes today so that's not too good for him because all the snakes are in florida and nobody wants to go to Florida. Back to you. I like how you said his name's The Great Storm. I thought you said The Gray Storm and I was like, that's kind of a good name. That's kind of a good name, The Gray Storm. That's going to be a new superhero. Right? He's not black.

He's not white. Right? He's not the White Storm because that sounds racist. He's not the Black Storm because that's like too dark and mysterious. He's the gray storm. You don't know where he stands on issues. He can't pick a side. He's the gray storm.

Gray storm, give us your great advice. Uh, I mean, whatever. Just do what you want. You know, I guess if it makes you happy. I mean, it's good enough in place really if you're happy I'm not gonna I'm not gonna tell you not to rob that bank I mean if you

gotta do what you gotta do I mean I'm gonna have to come after you if you do but you know I won't try hard great storm man that's gonna be guy heroes like nemesis oh yeah the most apathetic of all super villains race He's like gray storm. I'm gonna take you out and he's like whatever do we gotta do I don't want to fight you But I really know My powers are not good enough to take him on when he punches him and and and the great storm just sits there It's like Apathy why won't you die apathy is our guy hero's kryptonite and and the episode where guy hero gets killed he and the

gray storm go out to lunch and guy here is like where do you want to go eat and gray storm's like i don't know wherever you want to go he's like i don't i'm asking you he's like uh you know i'm good with anything no what where do you want to go he's like oh you know I could I could eat something like but where where do you want to go whatever and then guy hero explodes but they swap bodies in a different dimension oh that's right they go go Spider-Man. Yeah, you gotta go Spider-Man. So, Guy Hero becomes the Grey Storm for a little bit. Oh, wow. That's deep. That's really deep.

That's like Grey Storm-ception. Stupid. This is the traffic report, by the way. It's an okay idea, I guess. It's okay. Did I just say it's an okay IKEA? It's an okay IKEA okay I mean they got like decent food like I've had better at other ideas like oh when you said Ikea you said food first

rather than furniture I went to Ikea and ate there like the other week and got ribs. What? Ribs at Ikea? They have a bunch of stuff. They have spaghetti. They have the meatballs. They have ribs. Who eats at Ikea?

Everyone keeps telling me, like, oh, yeah, I go to Ikea to eat. Who eats at Ikea? Buffalo wraps. I've gone to Ikea just to eat there. No way. Yeah. Is it really to Ikea just to eat there. No way. Yeah. Is it really that good? It's pretty good. It's Ikea though. I've got...

Listen, I've gone to Ikea just to eat their food. That is insane! That is insane! And then, after you're done eating, I kind of just like, take a stroll. I'm like, oh, look at all the stuff. That is insane. And the guy working there is like this old Asian man.

And yeah, he's like a mix between an Asian and something else. I don't know what it is. Uh-huh, uh-huh. But he always gives me the ribs. And he's like, if you don't want cornbread, you can take garlic bread. And I'm like, thank you, old want cornbread you can take garlic bread. I'm like thank you old Asian man I want garlic bread You live an interesting life I get garlic bread

Corn bread take that cornbread. No one likes you I do I can't eat it anymore All right now let's move on to the weather. How's that weather out there? Uh, today's weather, you should go to Ikea and get a turkey wrap then. Son of a bitch. Today's weather is gonna be for Disney

World. Disney World? Disney World. Okay. Uh, the Weather Channel hates fun and so they're not loading the page for the Disney Channel so now we have to go to narwhal India and close enough it's close enough close enough in marijuana it's 60 degrees Fahrenheit, 91% humidity, calm. The pressure is not even available. Oh, I learned something.

Someone sent me a message because we were like, I don't get pressure. Pressure determines when a lot of people get lots of nosebleeds. If the pressure's high, their nosebleeds more. So that's like information for them. It's a very small subset of society But they know Isn't Like what causes that though I don't know I guess because their brains are so big

That the pressure causes them to bleed Look I don't know how science works Okay I assume it's because they're so smart And their brains are so big their nose bleeds I mean it makes sense they're so smart and their brains are so big their nose bleeds. I mean, it makes sense. It makes sense to me. The science pressure is probably so much that it just, like, overexpands throughout their head.

And I've been told I'm an idiot, and my nose has never bled. So it seems right to me. I loaded Walt Disney World tweets because that's all anyone cares about. So we went to India and then went back to Disney World. Okay. Well, I kept reloading the page and it finally loaded. It's also 65 degrees there in Florida. It's very close.

It is. It's like India. Well, India and Florida are just about the same thing. We've learned something today. Except in India, there are a lot more doctors and scientists. Exactly. Some great tweets coming in from Disney World. Say10666 says, snowmobile gang doing shots.

That's safe. Ice fishing trip 2013 hashtag. Wait. Wait. Okay. This guy's name is what? Say10666. Okay, so the devil is apparently tweeting from Disneyland World.

He's on an ice fishing trip. And he's on an ice fishing trip. And he says the snowmobile gang is doing shots. That's safe. At Disney World. At Disney World. At Disney World. This guy is high as a kite.

and Disney World. This guy is high as a kite. And Hollister Python says it's going to be cloudy tomorrow. That's music to my ears. Hashtag love. Hashtag retweet. Hashtag team follow back. Who gave a Python a Twitter account?

Damn it. One of those damn snakes. Follow back. One of those damn snakes. Like, follow back. Meanwhile, Snake Hunter's out there looking for him. Snake Hunter is on the mission. It would be amazing if

he got a reply from like at Snake Hunter, like, I'm coming for you. Somebody's gonna create that account now. I want that so badly. And then, probably the best tweet. FlyHighSean is tweeting, Wow, it a snow everywhere and girls walking around in short skirts.

Is this Florida, really? This is Florida. Are you sure this isn't India? That sounds like an India tweet. Wow, it a snow everywhere. Girls walking around in short skirts. Is this Florida? This is Florida. Are you sure this isn't India? That sounds like an India tweet. Wow. It is snow everywhere. Girls walk around in short skirts. It's the new India hit.

Walking around in short skirts. Snowy snow snow. Snow snow snow snow. All right, guys. That's it. Thank you for listening. And we will be back tomorrow with another exciting show so until then to be continued