Cox n' Crendor Show - Cox n' Crendor: Friday, November 14th 2014

Episode Date: November 14, 2014

Jesse and Crendor discuss the finer points of the English language as well as ramble on about stuff that would have been relevant 2 days ago had Jesse not gotten sucked into Warcraft and totally forgot to post this :)

Hello everybody, it's time for Cox and Crendor! Cox and Crendor in the morning! In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios! Recording! Wake your ass up! It's Cox and Crendor in the morning! Cox and Crendor in the morning.

Hello there, everybody. Welcome back to Cox and Crandor in the morning. Welcome back to Cox and Crandor in the morning. I believe last night, whenever that was, whatever, look, the last few hours have blended together. I don't know what's going on. Yeah. Whatever day it was, whatever time it was, I think you said you were going to look into Too Many Cooks. Yes. Did you watch it?

I did. And? I did watch it. So let me just, this is like a David Lynch analyzation. Uh-huh. So it starts off, I'm like, all right, you know. And then you start being like, something's going to happen. And then you're like, what?

And then you're like, what? And then you're like, whoa. And then you're like, whoa. Did you actually watch the video? Yeah. That's your analyzation is what, what, what, what, what? No, that was my reaction. Okay. is what, what, what, what, what? No, that was my reaction. So my analyzation was

I read some of the comments and the comment that made the most sense was that the guy who started killing all the people he represents Adult Swim and he is

killing all these forms of old or uh like mainstream entertainment that are just like hey i'm the typical tv trope and it's killing them all showing that they're different and i was like whoa i feel like that's over analyzing it here's what i think the guys at adult swim are weird as shit. Well, I mean, yeah. And they just wanted to make something weird because that's what they do there.

And they're weird like that. So that's what I think. Well, here's the thing. Okay. Uh-huh. So for all you don't know, Too Many Cooks is a thing made by Adult Swim. It went on YouTube.

It's got like 2 million views in less than a week. It's a weird video that originally was aired in between infomercials at like 4 a.m. or 2 a.m. or something wacky like that. Yeah. And it's like all these typical 90s style show intros where it's like, hey, I'm Urkel. Or like, hey, I'm Sabrito. It is all the beats. The music is like, too many cooks, too many cooks. And it goes through the family. And then the family keeps getting bigger and wackier and all this stuff.

But as it's going on, as the family keeps getting bigger and wackier, there's a cat character. You know, all these different things. In the background, progressively as it moves forward, there is a guy who just appears. Like a really disheveled, crazy-looking guy. And you don't notice it at first, but like he's in pictures and things. And it's like, what is happening? And it still has that like very, too many cooks, too many – right? Yeah. happening and it still has that like very too many cooks too many right yeah and then at a

certain point about four minutes in or so uh it suddenly starts becoming very weird because like there's a girl running and a dude like grabs her and pulls her away from a thing and then it shows another girl being drowned and you're like what the shit and then it shows a girl and it's like too many cooks and it shows her and then it pauses on her like in the old lazy you know like uh visual effects of the 80s and 90s and like credits and as it pauses on her and she's all happy this dude creeps out of the background like the freaking ring and then with a giant machete just like attacks her and then from that point on he goes around killing all the people in this thing. And like there's

bits where like this girl's running from him, but the credits in her name give her away. Yeah, like in the closet. Yeah, it's like there's a lot of little different things in there that are very cute, but it's very weird. Like it goes from being, oh, I get it, ha ha ha, to what the hell's going on

to like, alright, I'm officially weirded out. This is the strangest thing I've ever seen. Yeah. I don't understand how people can think it's funny. I'm like, that's not funny, that's weird. But whatever, whatever. I didn't think it was funny. I just like, I looked at it like a piece of David Lynch's art.

That's what I looked at it like. And I was like, there's a deeper meaning to this than just some crazy art. That's what I looked at it like, and I was like, there's a deeper meaning to this than just some crazy shit. That's what I thought. It's crazy. It's crazy. But like, and then,

I like the way they portrayed like the first like four minutes of it though before it went even more insane because like they did the typical, all the tropes, but they kind of overdid each one of them. Yeah, my favorite part is is when they're at the table eating dinner and it pans around the table and it goes from like

this happy white family like this happy black family it's like this is it's hilarious because by the end the family has so many people in it it's it's you know it has like four grandmas and like it's insane there's like the guy at work that's overworked. There's, like, the hot girl and she has no top on. And there's, like, the weird dorky neighbor trying to spy on her because he loves her. Yeah, there's all sorts of great tropes in there. And then, like I said, about four minutes in, it goes bonkers. And a dude just runs around killing people. And then the cat, it explodes.

And, like, it... And the cat's fighting for, like, mech force cybernetic enhancements and like he's like reporting reporting and then this it was just you got all crazy it got weird yes yeah there was a girl spinning around as a superhero that ends up getting murdered like it just how do you even describe something so weird you can can't. You just got to go watch it, but don't watch it on a full stomach. And don't watch it like at 4 a.m. Yeah. You'll be so weirded out.

I watched it right before I went to bed, and I couldn't go to bed. That's all. I was like, nope. Yeah, it was too many cooks. Too many cooks. Too many cooks. So, yeah, not a fan. All right, well, I'm glad we could share that.

I'm glad we could share that moment together. We shared in that moment. Yeah. I don't know that anyone should, but we did. We did. That's all that matters, kind of. Yeah. So, today, tonight, actually, is the WoW launch, man. Yeah.

I'm excited. I'm excited. Finally, after like two years. We're going to blow through it. We're going to blow through all of it and get to max level. When did Mists of Pandaria come out? Two years ago, roughly. September 25th, 2012.

So yeah, over two years ago was when we played. I saw a chart that had World of Warcraft timelines on it. And this has been the longest expansion. Which I also think is the funniest

because it's also been one of the ones that was least receptive. I know. And that's why the sub numbers went down, I think. Yeah. Nothing was happening. But they shot back up recently, so. Well, yeah.

It came out. Well, this is a 10-year anniversary now. I forgot about that. 2005 is when Blizzard WoW came out. Well, 2004. But it was like November 2004. Whatever. And then I remember because in January of 2005, like two months after it came out, all my friends were like,

there's this new game coming out called World of Warcraft. We should all play it. And I was like, I'm not going to pay money to play a game. That's stupid. And then I paid money to play a game, but I couldn't find it. And I was watching, if you haven't seen it there's a wild documentary out and they talk about how in the game release it like oversold everywhere and they wanted enough copies so that they didn't crash the server but there was such a high demand that they had to like rush out more copies because they were sold out everywhere and i remember that

because i was like oh i'm gonna get wow because all my friends were getting it and i looked everywhere and nobody had it. And I was like, how does nobody have this game? And I found it at like one game stop like 40 minutes away. And I remember going there and they had like one copy left. And I just got it. And I was like, this is it. And it was a great day.

I made a dwarf. Now you can have that. My first character ever was a dwarf and I got a small black pouch and I thought I was like oh my god this is the greatest item ever I remember that still I am excited

to try something new and go someplace new I think that'll be fun yeah and we're gonna live stream it yes live streaming it'll be tonight and it'll be fun so yeah and we're gonna live stream it yes live streaming it'll be it'll be tonight and it'll be great we'll probably start a little before midnight actually hits oh we'll probably have been going for a while i at least i know my guild uh does a lot of like pre-launch events and it's all silly stuff like we're gonna have a run naked contest and see you can run the furthest naked in the world without getting killed like that kind of stuff that's pretty great yeah they love that

they're a bunch of nerds yeah a bunch of nerds so come on down you'll be the next contestant on the prices right so what else what else is going on with you? What's going on? Oh, yeah. I saw Big Hero 6. I told you right before. Big Hero 6. What's that like? What is that like? So that's Disney's newest movie. It's from the creators of Frozen and Wreck-It Ralph. I saw that on a TV commercial.

What is it like? Well, it's this kid, and he likes to make robots. And he's like, I like to make robots and he goes robot fighting remember that old show where they used to fight robots all the time so far excellent storytelling please continue so he's like i'm so bored because i just have the best robot and he makes this robot just kills all the other robots and his brother is a super nerd too and he's like hey what are you going to do with your life, man? You're going to go to college?

And he's like, I'm not going to college. I already know everything. But then he goes to college, and he sees the robotics department, and he's like, whoa, and all these nerdy people are there doing robot stuff. And then they're like, if you get accepted here, you can do all this robot stuff, too. And he's really excited like oh man i want to go there so he invents this crazy like lego type thing where all these little robot pieces come together based on your neuro activity and everyone's like oh my god you're accepted but then crazy stuff happens and it's just like i don't want to spoil it. And his brother. Crazy stuff happens, and it's just like, I don't want to spoil it.

Either way, the big white blobby guy you see in all the ads and stuff is his brother's creation, which is a robot made to heal. And he's like a medical robot. So he's like a nurse. And he'll scan people and be like, I have scanned you and see that you have broken your arm. I will help you fix that. And like things like that. Or like, I have scanned you and I see that your neurotransmitters are down. You are depressed.

And he can like detect it and everything. That's his big thing. But he's really like dumb and cute. And so it's always like, oh, robot. And they go on wacky adventures together. And it's fun. I really liked it. I'd, oh, robot. And they go on wacky adventures together, and it's fun. I really liked it. I'd give it an A.

Great. Great. I still don't know what that movie's about. That's why you should go see it. It's a great movie. Oh, my goodness. It's got a 94 on Rotten Tomatoes. That's how good it is. 94.

But you know what? I'd give it a 94.5. Wow, you are really going out on a limb there. Stretch it. Stretching it. And then my one friend texted me, and he was like, you need to see Interstellar. It was so good. So I will probably see Interstellar very soon.

I need to watch Interstellar 2. The mixed reviews make me really curious the fact that half the people who see it love it and that half people don't makes me want to see it my friend said it was kind of like uh 2001 a space odyssey mixed with more action stuff but i don't know i mean it's probably that type of thing where a lot of people see those types of movies and they're like this is boring but it's probably got i don't know. I mean, it's probably that type of thing where a lot of people see those types of movies and they're like, this is boring, but it's probably got... I don't know. I just want to see it for myself.

Right? And be the judge. Agreed. Most of the people who think that's boring are people who like stupid things anyway, so... Yeah, people are like, ah, the new Ninja Turtles movie was so great. It's like, you need to shut up. Or the same people. You need to shut the damn mouth.

Or the same people that are like, I don't enjoy mainstream movies. I enjoy the art of Amber Alibar, the underground director known for such movies as Pasta in My Car. Amber Alibar presents Pasta in My Car. Yep. Ember Alibar. That is another character for our character. For Guy Hero. You better update it.

That's part of his rogues gallery. Yep. Evil cinema director, Ember Alibar. Sexy, such altruists and evil cinema photographer. Ember Alibar. That's actually a really cool name. Call me Ember. Em Amber Alibar. That's actually a really cool name. Call me Amber. Amber Alibar.

Oh, she's sort of like Moroccan. Yeah, she's a Moroccan chick. Oh, I like that. Oh, that's really good. By the way, if this goes up before the other one, we want you to talk about the characters in the guy hero. Nope, you're going to get... This will all make sense. Talk about the characters in the guy hero. Nope. You're going to get.

This will all make sense. It all makes sense when the puzzle is complete. When the puzzle is complete. All right. What if we uploaded like cryptic episodes? Now I wonder if that's played the other way, if it actually said something. I only doubt it. I hope to God it's like, all hail our dark lord. He is the only true master of our destiny.

Amber Alibar. Amber Alibar 2014. All right, what would Amber Alibar backwards be? Amber Alibar. Uh-huh. Rabala Remba. Rabala Remba. Rabala Remba.

Rabala Remba. Rabala Remba. Rabala Remba. Rabala Remba. All right. uh all right i think i think we've gone past the crazy point all right well then let's go to chop the covers of the sky with crendor crendor how's that traffic out there traffic today is um pretty mediocre i mean it's just the middle of the weekday we got tyler lack and joseph labbert down there. It looks like they're yelling at each other outside their cars for one of them to move.

Too bad both their cars are broken down, and that's backing up traffic all the way to the 505. Man, I haven't seen the 505 backed up like this since the Rushadala Janglers lost in 1929 to the Chicago Bears. Back to you. Thanks, Crandor. Now let's go over to Crandor at the weather desk. Whoa, the weather desk today is feeling a little chilly, which is why we're going to head on down to chilly France. Not to actual chilly, to chilly France.

Okay. Chilly France. Today in chilly France, 57 degrees with some morning showers. So if you're leaving for work this morning, take an umbrella with you. It's going to be kind of rainy out there. But Thursday, we got 55 with some a.m. fog and some p.m. sun. So maybe some glasses to help you see in the morning, a little bit of p.m. sun to help you calm down in the afternoon. Friday, it's going to be p.m. showers.

But who cares? It's Friday. Go home and stop being chilly outside alright and sports sports so nothing insane happened in sports so I just looked up a list of unusual sports no hold on

I picked a random sport dwarf throwing damn you isn't that illegal? Wasn't that outlawed? Well, it probably was, but. The old dwarf toss.

I typed in unusual sports, and this was one of them. Dwarf throwing had a short, though popular, history in the north of Australia, of course. As far as we know, it stopped following complaints from some sections of society. I like how it says, following some complaints from sections of society. Certain sections were very important. Certain small sections of society. But apparently the dwarfs. Complained a little too big for their size, if you know what I'm saying. I don't.

Certain tiny dwarf-like sections of society. But what they said the dwarfs didn't mind at all. Did they get paid for it at least? They probably did. I mean they're athletes. Alright, we're gonna toss you. I'm ready to be tossed in. Oh my god, I wonder if they had like those intense names like Toss Man Timmy. I'm Toss Man Timmy here.

Ready to get thrown across the map. I'm gonna toss you. I got like Bubba. What's his name? He can't have Toss Man Timmy. No, no. He can't have Toss Man Timmy and then not give Bubba. What's his name? He can't have Toss Man Timmy. No, no. He can't have Toss Man Timmy and then not give Bubba a name. Well, he's just Bubba.

You gotta have one guy with one name. Big Bubba. Big Distance Bubba. Big Distance Bubba. Yeah. And there's just like Drunk Drew. Just like, oh, Drunk Drew. Bubba is drunk.

Drunk Drew's gotten into some off-field issues. My wife left me. She did. So now I toss dwarves. Oh, man. Now, just every episode, now I'm going to throw in one of these random things, like elephant polo or milk carton regatta or lawnmower

racing alright I can't use them up yeah you can't use them all up you can't use them all up that's sports alright what is our big news story of the day so big news story of the day is man gets impaled on

shovel so go on of the day is man gets impaled on shovel. Go on. Emergency room doctors see everything. Takes a lot to make one cringe. Like seeing a man impaled on a shovel. Dr. Kelvin Clower on an ER doc based in Canton, Ohio

still remembers the day he dealt with a patient who was trying to fix his roof when he fell off and impaled himself on a shovel. The patient has not been identified for medical privacy reasons. You see, the shovel sticking out of what appears to be the rectal area. I'm sorry, what?

The shovel is sticking out of the rectal area. Okay, yeah, but what? Yeah, it's... He fell on it and it went up his butt? Yeah. Is that really what happened? Yeah.

That is... So, are you sure it just... How big was his shovel? Was it a snow shovel? I mean, it's a pretty large shovel. Not a stubble. So, figuring out the extent of the man's injuries was a challenge to Clower's team, especially when they had to turn the impaled patient over to see where the shovel entered the body.

Turning somebody to examine them while they have a shovel impaled in their rectum is not something anyone's been trained to do. You have to work as a team. I don't blame him. If I had a shovel in my rectum, I'd be's been trained to do. You have to work as a team. I don't blame him. If I had a shovel in my rectum, I'd be pretty loud too, he said after the patient filled the hospital with screams.

Again! He fell! He fell! Yeah. How did he live? How did he live through this? I don't know how he lived. A shovel animal sticking out of his ass? I don't. It's.

But things got worse. It turns out the shovel was actually impaled in the perineum, the patch of skin between the rectal area and the scrotum. The taint? The taint. It taint the mm and it taint the huh. It's the taintaint? The taint. It taint the mmm and it taint the

huh. It's the taint. It is taint. Oh my god. Oh my god. I can feel his pain. You can just

feel that shovel like right up the taint. Oh my god. It's right in his taint? Mm-hmm.

Well, that's horrifying. That created some even bigger problems, as you might imagine. He could bleed to death with seconds or minutes if the injuries are to the liver, kidneys, or other organs that use a lot of blood vessels. After a few tense moments, the shovel was removed and the patient eventually recovered. So apparently it didn't hit any of those. The man now has professionals fix his roof rather than risk another impalement. So... This dude got impaled in the taint. He got impaled in the taint.

He got impaled in the... or the grundle. There's a lot of names for it. I have only heard taint. I've never the grundle there's a lot of names there's a lot of names for it i have only heard taint i've never heard grundle it's been called the grundle the grunt the grundle the grundle g-u-r no g-r-u one of those look the grundle that is horrifying. I just hiccuped as I laughed. You were just very excited. That's all.

That's all. Okay. So as I was looking at that, I found another article that is very fitting. Paranormal radio host Art Bell mysteriously disappears what wait art bell's missing he disappeared from sirius xm wait what what do you mean what the much ballyhooed return of paranormal radio host art bell ended in just six weeks the master of ufos fringe science and conspiracy theory is apparently at odds with sirius xM over live streaming. Oh, he thought he was like abducted by aliens. I thought Art Bell really got taken away.

Wow. Art Bell is the original. He's the original host of Coast to Coast. Yeah. And he's good, too, because he didn't give shits. Yeah, he didn't give any shit. He was great. The new guy, George Norris, he's like, well, please tell me about this crazy alien that abducted you.

Arpil would be like, you're stupid. Yeah. Like that one woman. She was just like, my son, he used heroin, and we tried to get him help, and he wouldn't take the help. She went on for like 10 minutes. I was like, Is this a ghost story Or like you're rambling Some of your

Like drug addicted son And then after all that She's like And now I think I see him In my bedroom It's like what What Art would be like

Lady Shut up Move on Yeah George is like Maybe he was in your bedroom It's like no No She's just an old crazy lady George There's nobody there Shut up and move on. Yeah. George is like, maybe he was in your bedroom. It's like, no, no.

She's just an old crazy lady, George. There's nobody there. She's just crazy. George, I heard the last caller, and she's just an old crazy lady. But let me tell you something real. I was out in Russia, and I saw a yeti. He is living, and he is hunting me down. You want to know something amazing? While looking for this mysterious art bell disappearance, I found an article that is called

Man Eaten Alive by Anaconda in the Name of Reality TV. Anaconda in the name of reality TV. Let's imagine him getting eaten and being like, in the name of reality TV. What this guy, this guy gets swallowed, but he doesn't get eaten. Like, like the Anaconda swallows him.

What? But he doesn't die. So he lived in the Anaconda that's basically what it's saying whoa how long did he live in the anaconda i don't know i think it didn't digest him but he got out of it it doesn't it doesn't say whether it cut him he cut out or what anaconda man lives i don't know i don't know. I don't know that's going to be. The man to be eaten alive by anaconda in Discovery special. I guess in order to see what's inside the anaconda.

Here's what this thing says. Discovery has found its new extreme stunt. A man will be eaten by a giant anaconda. giant anaconda in eaten alive naturalist and wildlife filmmaker paul rizzoli aims to be devoured by an anaconda while in in while in a custom-built snake proof suit discovery is playing it coy about how much rizzoli is actually consumed by the reptile but the network has released these two promos teasing the endeavor below uh he's going to be covered in pig's blood to try and make himself appetizing for the snake since the snake proof suit has a cord on the top of it rizzoli is presumably in no risk of being trapped inside uh since they just pull them out or whatever we're also told the snake does not die

what in case you're skeptical discovery representatives assured that this announcement is not a hoax eaten alive has been filmed and will air sunday december 7th that is incredible well i think that is i think i know what i'm gonna be watching sunday december 7th i want to point i want to point out to everyone at home in seeing seeing that article, it was in between other articles like, mission is go for attempted landing on comet touchdown. It is for China's massive military machine goes on show. There's another one for Forbes ranks the most powerful people in the world. All these different things.

That's the one that caught my attention can I just say that all these websites have these ads and they all are like that they look like links they're all just big clickbait this one says that

I love this stray dogs in space the soviets sent stray dogs up to conquer space this is what happened next I love this. Stray dogs in space? The Soviets sent stray dogs up to conquer space. This is what happened next. Well, now you got to click on it. I mean, I do, I guess. What happened?

Did the dogs conquer space? Oh, my God. I bet that's a guy hero. The 1950s, USSR propaganda artists produced a huge amount of emblematic images celebrating the role of dogs in Soviet space exploration. There are these stray dogs. Look at all these. There's all these posters of dogs going into space. Oh, my God. In Guy Hero, after he defeats his first nemesis, he has to fight dogs in space.

This is great. Dogs in space with their leader leader like Sir Barks a lot and he's up there and he's conquered the moon and we need Guy Hero to go rescue the moon because the dogs have taken out the American flag from the moon and planted the dog flag and claimed it as their own country.

It's got a paw print on it. I don't Yeah, it's just about the propaganda of dogs going into space. That's, I mean, that's literally it. It's not nearly as interesting as I thought it was going to be. Which is why it'd be more interesting if it was a guy hero part. Oh, my God. We're just too good at this.

I can picture it now. We really are. Yep. Well, that's good. That's good. I'm glad we figured that out. We did. We now know about dogs in space.

Yeah, is there anything else of importance today? Um Let's see anything else happen today? No my throat is killing me So I'm trying to figure out What is important to you Crendor? Uh I saw the last Walking Dead episode

I don't know if you've seen that I haven't seen it Let me just say it's very predictable. Really? Very predictable. Are there zombies? There are indeed zombies in it. I figured it out.

I got it. I got it solved. No, we need. We need one of those. What do we need? We need one of those things where the guy hero universe melds with the the elf story universe and they create this just crazy movie called i'm waiting for it i'm waiting for you to do this called guy hero the elf story that's why you're not in charge of neighborhood

listen guy hero the elf story guy, the elf story? Guy Hero, the elf story. No, no, it's got to be Guy Hero, Elphageddon. Right? That is pretty good. Guy Hero, Elphic Gigolo. And it's about the girl in our story. The girl in our elf story, she's become just very revengeful and angry and bitter.

Yeah, she's pregnant. She's pregnant, but she doesn't know who the father is! It could be the guy that died for her love. It could be the dark elf. It could be the Keebler elf. Wait, no, the Keebler elf died. Here's the twist, though. They go on Mori, and it turns out to be Guy Hero's

kid. Oh, man. It's Guy Hero's kid. Because Guy Hero, just by being in his presence, pregnates you. Yep. Yep. Pregnates you. Impregnate. Ladies, you're

getting pregnated. Yeah, you are being pregnated. RG4 is pregnanting you. Can I say that RG4 needs to happen very soon for the Washington Redskins. RG4 has pregnanted

the Washington Redskins with love and talent. Oh, man. The birth of our future team will come from me pregnating you. That's my new favorite word. Pregnated. I will pregnate you. I will pregnate you.

You shall be pregnated. I will pregnate you. It is what I'll do. Now it's like a song. Now it's like an old song. I will pregnant you. That's what I'll do, my darling.

But first I'll treat you well. So swell. Then I'll impregnate you. But we'll be married. When I impregnate you. That's what it'll be called. Guy Hero, the elfpregnation.

Ooh. I like that. The elfpregnation. Is that actually a word? Pregnate? No. Pregnate. No one's ever said pregnate.

Pregnate. Oh, man. There's pregnant, but you impregnate people. You don't pregnate. Literally, no. Search instead for pregnate. Pregnate. Oh, it has a definition what is it uh the obsolete

version is to become fertile but it's not a word used anymore whoa so it used to be a word latin late latin for pregnantus this word doesn't usually appear in the dictionary oh so it's not a word oh they just included it because idiots like you, who want to pregnant women. That's why people say funner. No one says funner. It's funner to pregnant than impregnate. Uh-huh. All right, that's enough.

Yep. All right, guys, that's it. Thank you for listening. We will be back sooner rather than later. So as always, to be continued.