Cox n' Crendor Show - Cox n' Crendor: Post-Blizzcon Ramblefest!!!

Episode Date: November 12, 2014

Jesse and Crendor return from Blizzcon and ramble on about it for too damn long. Also some weird news and things!

Hello everybody, it's time for Cox and Crendog! This is Crendog in the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios. Recording! Wake your ass up! It's Cox and Crendog in the morning! Crendog in the morning! Welcome to the Shoe.

Okay. For a brief moment, you sounded like an NPC in a video game. Like, welcome! And then you became a fairytale character because you live in a shoe. I was trying to remember what day it was. I was like, welcome to Monday. And I was like, oh wait, no, it's Tuesday. And then I was like, whoa.

If you're like me, the days have been blending together since BlizzCon. I am out. I'm out of it. Yesterday, when I got back from Blizzizzcon i had two hours of sleep because we went to ihop and i was like it was amazing by the way it was amazing amazing i was like falling asleep on the plane i told the lady she's like what do you want to drink she's i'm like coke she's like okay and like i fell asleep waiting for it and she's like hey hey and i woke up like what oh okay i drank it and then i got home and just like turned on tv i'm like i'm gonna watch football and i fell asleep for

like four hours you lead the most interesting life i do i try kind of yeah no I don't know why you would plan a flight that early Out of LAX After BlizzCon Because I don't know And then I got on the You're a strange person That's why What do you call it

The shuttle The one guy was like Are you Firebat And I was like no And he's like Oh sorry Are you Firebat The guy who won the Hearthstone tournament

I guess I look like him I don't know are you fire bat maybe i wouldn't i mean are you speaking of which oh speaking of you looking like some people uh-huh while at blizzcon for those of you don't know we competed in a heroes of the storm tournament and we kicked ass we were very good dominated. Crendor and I are grand champion masters. But in their little book of like, I guess it's backstage for the people who run the show to know what we all look like. In their little book, they had pictures of us all so they could spot us right away and usher us around and do their jobs. Crendor's photo was just of some dude.

Some dude in a Cox and Crendor goopity shirt No clue who this dude was Didn't even look like Crendor But it was just, wow Crendor And then just a dude in our shirt It was so funny I don't even know How to describe that

You can search, if you search Like wow Crendor In Google, and go to Google Images, it's the guy in the goobity-gop-gop-gee shirt. They used that guy. That's him. That's who they used. And everyone there was like, well, it looks like him.

And we were like, no. No, it doesn't. Not at all. Not at all. He has, like, not even the facial hair. I mean, he has a smile, which, I mean, he's not Grendor. Yeah. That's not me.

His arms are bigger. We had a good old laugh about that. And they were just like, well, we thought it was him. We were like, it's not. It was very cute. It was. But we owned Freddie Wong. We beat Freddie Wong.

That's all that matters. It felt good. Yeah. But we own Freddie Wong. We beat Freddie Wong. That's all that matters. It felt good. We killed them like 35 times, and they killed us, I think, twice.

I think most of those times were husky. I think so, too. I didn't die at all. I died once our first game at the very, very, very end as we took their base because I was busy messing with them behind enemy lines, and my death resulted in me also killing one of them. So I felt good. And it technically didn't count as a death. Because I died.

But my character was still alive. When the game ended. Whoa. I know. It's like we're just really good at Heroes of the Storm. We're very good. We're going pro. We're going pro.

We're going pro. It's happening. I played a game yesterday. We're going to good at Heroes of the Storm. We're very good. We're going pro. We're going pro. We're going pro. It's happening. I played a game yesterday. We're going to take on everyone. I felt really good. I was like, yeah, I've been winning tournaments at BlizzCon. And then we played against the Tassadar, what's his name, Asmodan combo, which is apparently bugged, and Tassadar just shields Asmodan's minions.

They become invulnerable and invincible and they just kill everything. That is awesome. Yep. So that's gotta get patched. I'm a little bit jealous of that. Yeah. I'm trying to think about the con. You can tell from my voice I had a fun time. Let's see. What are

some things I learned? One, I learned that I love the game Overwatch. I think that we figured out the best metas for that game. We're going pro. We're going pro video gamer because we figured everything out after eight hours of playing one game

once. We've gotten it. We played more matches than I think the vast majority of people there. We got it figured out. We have it figured out. We're number one in the world right now because nobody else can even compete. And that's just not a lie.

We are. We're number one. We beat devs, man. Also, we're the very first people ever to play Hearthstone on stage. So, or not, heroes. Whoops. Yeah. You know what?

I'm going to make up that other lie, too. And Hearthstone. Yeah, we played all. But. Yeah. You know what? I'm going to make up that other lie, too. And Hearthstone. Yeah, we played all of them. But mostly Heroes. We're the first people to play Heroes on stage at BlizzCon. We are. Ever. And win.

And we won. 2-0 victory. We're undefeated on a professional level. We are. I would even go as far to say that we're undefeated on an unprofessional level agreed agreed yeah uh if this podcast is any indication i really like overwatch though it's like a lot of fun i thought like when you saw the trailer at first what did you think i didn't know what i was watching when i saw the trailer at first, what did you think? I didn't know what I was watching. When I saw the trailer, I was like, it's like a Pixar movie. I don't know what's happening right now.

When it ended, I had no clue what was happening. Here's the thing. When I first saw the trailer and it showed like, whoa, and it looked like it was, it looked like an iPad game. The first like 30 seconds, I was like, wait, are they making an iPad game? What the hell is this? And then it expanded into like, oh, it looks like a Pixar movie. And then it

proceeded to be a weird fight and a bunch of other things. I was like, I don't know what the hell is going on. And then they actually showed gameplay and I was like, I love this. Yeah, once they started showing the gameplay, I was like, alright, now I like it. Now I get what you're doing. Yeah. once they started showing the gameplay, I was like, all right, now I like it. Now I get what you're doing.

Yeah. So it was just like a little cartoon. Yeah. Then when you get what they're doing, then the cartoon, you're like, oh, that's cute. Speaking of which, I guess the cartoon and all the characters used to be part of Project Titan. Yeah, I think what it was is all the assets,

like Project Titan, even though they closed it down, they took the maps and assets and stuff and created this game instead. Yeah. I don't know if that's confirmed or not, but I think that's what the rumor is at the moment. Yeah, because I mean, it's about heroes and all those things. And I remember Project Titan was like, you'd play as heroes and all that. And then some of the maps kind of remind you of places you'd see that type of thing.

I think they just got rid of the whole MMORPG element and all the other non-fun stuff. And we're like, the combat's really fun. Let's just make it like that. Yeah, and it works. Combat works great. It does work. You got Bastion. I have no problems. Bastion, best character. Best meta in the game.

Reinhardt, Bastion, Bastion, Bastion, Bastion, Bastion. Yep, that's what it is. All Bastions and a Reinhardt. It's 6v6, by the way, if you didn't know. Yeah, I think it's great. I think 6v6 is good.

I love all the different characters. There's a few that I didn't get a chance to play with, but I played with almost all of them. So that's how much time we played. Yeah, I pretty much played with all of them too. And it's fun because it's TF2, but it's on a smaller scale and it has a bit more

like, what's the word? The combat feels better than TF2, I think. There's a lot more going on with the combat. Like, yeah, it's a little more in-depth. I like that. It's like instead of classes, you have actual characters you're playing, like a MOBA. Yeah, it definitely has this weird MOBA FPS feel. like instead of classes you have actual characters you're playing like a moba yeah it that's definitely

has this weird like moba fps feel like everything every character has a feel every character i mean they might have skins later on who knows i guarantee they'll have skin or hats or hats they'll probably have both they'll have every customizable guns hats skins everything one of skins, everything. One of my favorite parts about the feedback from the community afterwards is two opposing sides. And I just want to say it's very nice to see that no matter what,

douchebags still prevail on the internet. So, Chris Benson comes out and he's like, you know, my daughter wanted to see games where, like, you know, girls were doing other things besides being sex objects, right? Mm-hmm. That's not a direct quote, but it's roughly what he said. And the comments were like, yeah, no, it's great to see Tracer.

She's like this, you know, badass chick who is getting flung around and chasing guys down and being a badass. And the other comments were like, what about that chick with a sniper rifle? That's just all boobs, man. Boobs and ass. It's like, oh my god. I don't... I just... Can we not do this just this once?

There's always the people that just take the opposite side, no matter what. Even with the game, there's like... Everybody's like, wow, this game's fun. There's people like, this game's dumb. I'm not buying this game. It's like, you haven't even played it yet. There's a ton of, yeah. Oh, by the way, that's totally true. I was reading comments when I got home and half of them are like, Team Fortress rip off, rah, rah, rah, rah. And

I was like, you guys, none of you have played it. As far as I'm aware, there's only 60,000 people in the world who have played this game. And not even all of them have played it. And not even all of them got a chance to play it. So you're insane if you think that's the case. And those people who played it, played it for 20 minutes, maybe max, over the course of the thing. Like, there are very few people who played it as much as we have. And there are very few people who played it in general.

And it doesn't feel like Team Fortress 2 at all, right off the bat. But, yeah, just seeing the comments that are just like, oh, man, all these characters, they're all sexualized. Having played the game, that's not the case at all. But whatever. Like, there's, yeah, I don't know. There's one character who is like the vampy character, and everyone else is pretty much a badass. I don't know. Whatever.

I'm not going to argue that point because I'll never win it. You won't win it. Yeah. I had fun. And I say that it's great. My favorite character isn't anything crazy. My favorite character is a robot. Okay? There's no boobs in my robot.

Yeah. But if you wanted there to be, there would be. Yeah, and I would be okay with that. I wouldn't be like, man, those are some nice boobs on that bot. I'd just be like, my robot turns into a turret and is awesome and kills you. One thing is they said you should die less frequently than in current modern military shooters, but I didn't really see that. Oh, no, we died quite frequently. I was like, no, you die about,

it's like the same as Call of Duty, I thought. It felt about the same as Call of Duty death-wise. Yeah, and death in the game is actually good because it allows you to readjust your strategy. That's actually how I play. When I'm on the attack, I played as Tracer, who's the girl from the trailer, and right away, I jump through enemy lines and like go try to attack stuff like it works especially in capture the flag levels uh and then once you take that initial base then they go super

defensive so you can't be tracer anymore because you'll get your ass shot up because that's not how she plays so you you die and then it's like, okay, now I'm going to try someone different. I'll go Pharah or I'll go someone else who's a giant mech warrior chick. Dude, how can you say they're sexualized? Pharah is a giant mech warrior woman. She is. She's in a giant mech suit. There is no nothing shown.

And she has the best damn, she has like chain gun and all sorts of crap get out of town she was really good i played her a lot i love it it was an awesome game i'm really excited i can't believe out of all blizzcon that's what we talked about we didn't talk about the fact that uh we saw weird twitch girls dancing weirdly at a party oh We didn't talk about the fact that we went to IHOP at 3 in the morning and Jared, drunk out of his mind, ordered chicken parmesan and just started, I don't even know what he was

doing. He couldn't even eat it. He was so drunk he couldn't even cut the chicken. It was amazing. And he yelled out at a cat girl. He also told the ticket lady at the parking garage that her hair looked fake or something. Oh, no, no, no, no. He goes, I assume not realizing that she can hear him.

He goes, that woman, her hair, she looks like every other parking attendant ever. Did you know you look like every other parking attendant ever? He kept saying it. The woman was looking at us and we're like, I'm so sorry. He's like, does she know that? Do you know that? And it was like he was totally serious. Is she aware that there are clones of her out there?

Listen, I'm just saying, I would make a drunk Jared channel. Oh, I would do that instantly. I would get him drunk all the time and make videos. Because when he's drunk, he becomes a different human being. Like next level human being of insanity. We're going to steal him from Hot Pepper Gaming to make Drunk Jared. He'll be amazing.

It's next level insanity. The guy is crazy. He's insane. He's in the Twitch party. He went up to random people and just booped them on the nose. It's just like what was that he's in the twitch party he went up to random people and just booped him on the nose it's just like boop and they're just like what are you doing like he didn't tell them what he was doing at all he just went up to him and booped their nose and walked away and walked away i mean that's what he was doing he was very drunk it was great

i'd watch it great it's great seeing drunks when you're on the opposite side and you're like not even remotely yeah my favorite my favorite thing he said was he looked at the ihop menu and he's like there's pictures of the food so i don't have to read it that's my favorite thing he said he was so excited too. And the result was he went to an IHOP at 3am and ordered chicken parmesan. So it looked the best. The one thing you probably should never order from the International House of Pancakes.

A chicken barbershop. I bet that was delicious. No regrets there. Speaking of no regrets, have you seen all the amazing photos of the McCox and Crandor? What are you drinking right now?

Water. I have a Mexican Coke. I haven't had a Mexican Coke in forever. They were on sale. Five for five dollars. Five for five. Right? Well, that's a deal. That is a deal.

Mexican Cokes are expensive. I don't know why. They're made in Mexico. Shouldn't it be cheaper? Because after we started finding out about them. Everyone was like, we got to start selling Mexican Cokes now. Yep. Everybody wanted them. We started it. Still, though, they're usually like a buck 69. about them everyone was like we gotta start selling mexican cokes now yep everybody wanted

them we started it still though they're usually like a buck 69 this is a dollar it's a dollar deal that's a savings i got five i'm gonna keep them in my fridge for days when i need a mexican coke today's one of those days did you know that they changed the five dollar foot long to a six dollar foot long not here five dollar Chicago. It's the corrupt Chicago crime syndicate. It is. It's the corrupt Chicago crime syndicate. We have $5 foot longs. We have several $5 foot longs.

We also have $6 combos is what it is, I think. Oh, I want a $6 combo. I got a combo, but it was like I substituted cookies for chips. I don't... Why would you get cookies at a Subway?

You get two cookies. Why would you get cookies at a Subway? They're good. They're like half-baked cookies. Half-baked cookies, man. They're good cookies. I strongly disagree. I have eaten Subway cookies like forever.

That explains a lot. That explains a lot. I don't like chips.way cookies like forever. That explains a lot. That explains a lot. I don't like chips. Sometimes I like chips. It depends on my mood, but I mainly like cookies. Chips are so good. What kind of chips? Well, I'm a chip connoisseur.

I like my chips good, so I only get certain kind of chips. My favorite are only found at Medicino, Mendocino Farm here in LA. Mm-hmm. They are called Mama Zuma's Revenge. And it has a picture of this, like, sexy clad and, and, Bandolero or whatever you'd call that, like, with the guns and the hat, and it's a sexy woman. And it's Mama Zuma and their habanero potato chips,

and they're super spicy. Oh, man. It is like instant butt fire. I don't know if I've seen those. I feel like if I would have saw those there, I would have got them. I don't remember them. So good. And here's the thing.

No, they've been there for a while. Here's the thing, though. What I get when I go there. You ready for this? Uh-huh. Whenever they have it. Yeah. Tomato soup.

Then I pour the Mama Zuma chips in the tomato soup. Whoa. Whoa. Yup. That's blowing my mind. So it's like crunchy chips in a soup because they're like those hard potato chips. Yeah. Like the kettle cook kind. You dump them in and it's like boom. And then you're

replacing croutons with delicious habanero chips. Yes. Yes. Ugh. Yes. I don't like croutons. I never like croutons with delicious habanero chips. Yes. Yes. Oh. Yes. I don't like croutons. I never like croutons. I'd rather have chips in a soup. Habanero chips.

Yeah. Yeah. What are those other ones? The Doritos. Oh, the Topitos? Topios? Topatio. Yeah.

Topatio. Whatever it's called. Yep. No, those are good. Those are good too. When you live near the south of the border area, you get a lot of awesome stuff. Look, Mexico, we just need all your stuff because it's great. Mexico, it's fun being near you but not in you. I love to death all Mexican products are great.

I have more hot sauces. I don't think I even have a bottle of ketchup in my house, but I have three bottles of hot sauce. I like hot sauce. I do. Salsa, all that stuff, that's my ketchup. Yeah. I don't need you, Heinz. By the way, fun story.

We were at IHOP, both Dodger and Strippin. Oh, the same day, he ditched us. Myself and Gerard, the completionist, hung out with all the devs and stuff all day and did amazing stuff, and they ditched us to go to IHOP. They missed out on so many cool things because they had to go to IHOP.

And we were like, tough tatas, guys. You missed out. Well, we were like tough tatas guys you missed out well we were there and it was Sips and Jin and Sam and Sam was like could you pass me the Tommy K and we're like what and he's like the Tommy K and we're just like well he's like the ketchup and everybody just started laughing and I'm just like why do you call it tommy k is it tommy k in britain and then sips is just like i don't even know what he's talking about it was just so great and then uh i didn't even understand it and then he's like tomato ketchup like tommy tomato and then k for ketchup i was like can we just say can we just say that tommy k is the new sidekick, the little boy sidekick for Guy Hero. Oh, my God.

It's me, Mr. Tommy K. Tommy K here. Yes. He's a little British kid. He's a little fat, pudgy British kid. His outfit's red, so he looks like a tomato. Oh, my God. Yes.

That's brilliant. That's brilliant. Tommy K here. Looking to help you out, core hero. You know what we need? We need a complete, we need one image that contains all the characters. We do. That way somebody can write the story.

Yeah, not because I want the image, but because I've forgotten all the characters we've created. I feel like it'd be a good primer to have them all in one picture. Okay, we got Guy Hero. We got Grey Storm. Tommy K. See, that's as far as we got. Florida Man. Florida Man.

What was the one we just thought up last week? The Deliverer or whatever? I don't remember. What was his name? I don't remember. The Mailman? I don't remember. I don't remember.

I know there's the one guy who's the virus. Who's the big kingpin guy. Look. See? See? We've completely forgot them all. Someone go through the backlog. And create the greatest image of these characters ever.

All of them. Not because we want it, but because we need it. For ourselves. We need it. We need it. And we'll just tweet it and we'll promote you. Yes, we will promote you. Free promotion.

We'll promote your DeviantArt. Yeah. Yeah. Nudes only, though. Yeah. Is there anything else that happened at the con that's worth talking about? I can't. There's a lot of stuff, but I figured we've already mentioned it already.

What did you do with the things besides this um we went and we saw the blizzard or the warcraft movie stuff with them which was awesome did you see the warcraft movie yeah dude it looks so good dude it looks so good that for those of you weren't there we got to see clips from the movie which is fine but afterwards they afterwards, they were like, that's about a year ago's worth of progress. Here's what we've done since. This is the updated way the movie looks. And they showed, like, it's what you saw when you saw Avatar for the first time. Yeah.

Except newer, right? It's that kind of like, oh, my God, this is almost real kind of feel, right? Yeah. But newer. Like, I thought the orcs looked more real than even the humans did. It was crazy. Yeah, like the close-up orc shot they showed of Durotan, his eyes were like watery, his breath, like everything.

The way he looked, flawless. I was like, holy crap, they might have pulled this off. Like, even when they showed Stormwind, I was like, damn, that looks like a real Stormwind. Yeah. Like, that is crazy. Now, mind you, the story could be shit. That's true. The story may be awful.

It may be. But visually, it looks incredible. Yeah. But, I mean, if they're basing it off, like, the Warcraft lore in books, it shouldn't be that bad. Well, they're basing it off of Warcraft 1. in books it shouldn't be that bad well they're basing it off of warcraft one actually pre-warcraft one and when i asked uh uh the guys about it after the interviews like when they did their warcraft interview stuff no one would give me a straight answer when i was like so is it the complete warcraft one story and like you know if you

play warcraft one spoiler all the main characters die yeah and i was like especially the human make i was like is it the complete warcraft one story and they're like um well we don't want to spoil it i was like i played the video game yeah you're not gonna spoil anything for me and they're like well you know things like all right great thanks guys thanks yeah because in warcraft one at the end, King Lane is killed. Medivh is killed. You know, Garona betrays everyone. Like, there's this whole thing.

Oh, is that where Medivh is, like, evil and they kill him? Yeah, because Medivh opens the Dark Portal and Khadgar finds out. By the way, great podcast for anyone who doesn't care about Blizzard games. Khadgar finds out that Medivh is corrupted, and so he convinces everyone to help kill him. And then Garona, because of reasons, kills King Lane. And so basically, the human kingdoms are left in complete turmoil, which allows for Warcraft 2. The human kingdoms are left in complete turmoil, which allows for Warcraft 2. When all the humans left in the south run to the north.

Oh, Arthas' dad, whatever the hell his name is. Oh, yeah. And then they fight back, and that's how they win in Warcraft 2, right? Yeah. And Khadgar leads them through the Dark Portal, and they blow up the portal and the whole thing. I see now and so in warcraft one depending on what story they tell warcraft one the orcs destroy everything if they go by canon and none of the orcs none of the orcs except for two of them die yeah so like the orcs destroy everything and that's why i was asking like is that really the story like are you gonna you going to go that way? Because I know the first iteration of the movie was like, orcs are bad guys and the humans are good guys.

And this time I was like, if you changed it and you want them both to be sympathetic. So we'll see. Yeah, we'll see. I assume it'll be the story of baby Thrall. Yeah. If I know Chris Metzen, we're going to get the story of Durotan trying to hide his kid from, like, Gul'dan stuff. Yeah. Yeah.

Here's a problem that I have, though. In the trailer. Now, look, I am of equal opportunity for everyone. But when they showed the elves, they had, like, multiracial elves. Yeah. That's fine and dandy. I'm okay with it. But it just seems out of place.

Right? When you think elves, let's be honest, you're thinking like really tall, blonde hair, big-eared white dudes. Yeah. And ladies. Right? Mm-hmm. That's not, you know. Like blood elves even or high elves would be. Well, that's what I'm know, like blood elves even or high elves.

Well, that's that's what I'm saying. Like blood elves is what I'm talking about. Like like the high elves. Yeah. Right. Like snobby. Basically, old, rich white people is what I think of when I think of high elves. Yeah. And like night elves are just the same, but like purple and more naturey. Yeah. And if you're going to go multiracial, I would have gone night elf with that because they are, you know, like we're in touch with earth and everyone's cool. And we love,

like, I don't know. I look, it just took me out of the moment because I'm used to hating elves and, and that. So, yeah, you're just saying you should have directed it.

So you could have made these changes. Look, I'm just saying I should be in charge of everything. That's all I say. Yeah. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, that's all I'm saying. All right. Enough of all that. Let's get down to job to go.

I'm the scout of Crendor. Crendor, how's that traffic out there? Traffic today is a day away. I don't even know what that means, but I said it. Right now we're flying over the 408. We got some things happening down there. School buses are hurrying up. The school work buses are bringing people to work.

Those are a thing now, a work bus. I just thought it up. It's probably going to be a thing in the year 2020, even though I just said it exists. But don't take my word for it. There's also a clogged lane over on the I-52. That's going to be backed up for a while. So I would just walk. Get out of your car.

Walk to wherever you're going, you know. Or walk home, be backed up for a while. So I would just walk. Get out of your car. Walk to wherever you're going. Or walk home because who cares. You know. That's uh. That's uh. Oh no. There's Andrew Spencer. He just got out of his car and he's running. He's running somewhere. I don't know where he's going. We're going to follow him. Chopper copter exclusive.

We're flying after him right now. Where is he going? He is jumping over the bridge he is just pulled out a hang glider he's hang gliding down the traffic lane and there's people looking up at him this is insane i've never seen anything in my life like this and he just arrived at work he's going to work back to you thanks crendor you wanted me to keep doing that as long as possible i did you all right let's go over to the weather desk with quendor how's that weather over there well the weather today is a day away i just said that again because i wanted to see are you trying to make that like a thing i don't know i just want

a catchphrase uh a day away it's a day away you can say that about everything let's go to uh away it's a day away you can say that about everything let's go to uh kuk kuk dollar uzbekistan uh-huh you definitely were not offensive there it's got a hyphen in it so it's like kuk dollar and in kuk dollar uzbekistan it's 55 degrees 34 degrees uh is the low and it's going to be like that pretty much all week in the 50s. Also, I remember someone said, what's the point of doing other countries if you don't use Celsius? That's because I'm American, and I only know Fahrenheit. Man's got a point. I mean, there's probably some option for Celsius here on the Weather Channel, but I don't want to look for that.

I can't even find the thing. All I find on the Weather Channel is this was not a good idea, and there's a woman standing on a mountain in a hurricane. That hurricane's a day away. Am I right, Grandeur? That hurricane's a day away. All right, what's going on in sports? Sports news. There's a lot of sports.

But the main thing was the Packers destroyed the Bears. They destroyed the Bears the other night. 55-14. And that marks the Bears as the first team to lose two games in a row, allowing the other team to score 50-plus points. Because they lost to the Patriots like 51-23 the other week, too. And that is the first time a team has had that happen to them since the I guess the Rochester

like janglers in 1929 the Rochester janglers they just jangled so hard so what was what was talk radio like today? Did you hear any commentary?

Oh, I turned on talk radio right after the game was over. Because at halftime, Aaron Rodgers threw for like six touchdowns in two quarters. Like he threw more touchdowns than the Jaguars have scored like all season in two quarters. And so I turned it on, and they were just like, this is a disgrace to the Bears nation. You lose on primetime TV to our arch rival Green Bay Packers from Cheeseland. And you know what happens?

We're the laughingstock of the world. Let's take some callers. It's like, first up, we got Frank from Chicago. Frank from Chicago, how you doing? It's like, hey, this is Frank from Chicago. First time caller, big time listener. Listen, I'm going to tell you something that needs to happen. We got to fire the coach right now.

We got to fire all the players. Jake Cutler can't throw a grape into the ocean, if you know what I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. But you know what? I've had meatballs sticking. It tasted better than the Bears do. You know what I'm saying? All I'm saying is Ditka.

Bring Ditka back to coach the Bears. That's a real coach. I'll hang up and listen to your answer. That's what it was like. That's my favorite thing is to turn on Chicago sports radio after something happens. I need to get. I need to find like one of those internet radio station things and listen to Chicago radio immediately after all those games now. You really do.

There's the one station, the guy is the most Chicago. He's an ex-Bear player and he's the most Chicago person I think I've ever heard in my life. He is just like, this is the greatest thing i've ever heard the end of my life he's like super chicago i'm sorry what how does he talk he's like i don't know what that voice was it's like deeper he's just like these spares players i haven't seen a play like that in so long and he's like in a restaurant while he's doing it and all these like drunk people are These Paris players, I haven't seen a play like that in so long. He's like in a restaurant while he's doing it. And all these like drunk people are just like, there's like cheering for him.

Welcome to Mardi's. Big Polish. That's what it's like. It's a joke, but it's not. And they always call in. Oh, mike north mike north is a big chicago guy he's just like hey there this is mike north he used to be on the score i called in once that's back in uh before i did youtube i called in a picture of this guy yeah mike north hold on he oh my god he's got like a ditka face too hold on hold on hold the phone oh my god I need to see this there it is

Mike North look at this Chicago face here's the thing here's the thing yeah all right I need I need you to do something for me uh--huh. Now Google Mike Ditka and go to the images, right? Uh-huh. And just find an image of him and then look at both of them and tell me you take off Ditka's mustache and you make his hair a little darker. Same dude. Same dude. Same. Same guy.

Exact same guy. Exact same guy. It's the exact same guy. Yep. Look at this one. Here we go. Ditka. Just look same guy. Yep. Look at this one. Here we go. Ditka. Just look.

Compare these two. Look at this. Look at that Ditka. That's a happy Ditka. Look at him. That's a happy Ditka. He's a little chubbier. He's like, I'm just happy to be retired.

Oh, my God. Ditka even talked about the bears. Hold on. I got to find this. I got to find this. Hold the phone. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I got to find this. Ditka even talked about the Bears. Hold on. I got to find this. I got to find this. Hold the phone. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

I got to find this. Ditka on Bears. An organizational mess. Wow. Do you think Mike North purposely tries to look like Ditka? No, he's just a Chicago person. Does everyone in Chicago look like Ditka? This is what I like to say.

The Chicago city. A lot of people are like, how big is Chicago? It's in the Midwestwest it's the same size as like la it has like a hundred thousand less people which is like just a suburb and the difference is in la everybody's all like hey man this is just la or like hello i'm a big actor but you go to chicago and it's like they just get more New York in them. They're like construction workers just like, hey, you're gonna do a thing, I'm gonna do a thing. But like you get to New York and they're just like, they get

even more violent. So it's like a nice in between. That's how I always thought of it. But like they're friendly douchey. It's like in New York, they're just like, get out of the road, asshole. But in Chicago, they're like, asshole, get out of the road, asshole. But in Chicago, they're like, asshole, get out of the road, please. You know?

I think. I think I do. In conclusion, bears are really bad right now and Mike Ditka's just sad. Alright. What is our big news story of the day? Our big news story of the day is Our big news story of the day is...

Woman finds stranger in house eating her cookie dough. Go on. A 28-year-old man has been arrested on suspicion of burglary after a Wichita, Kansas woman found him eating cookie dough from her freezer in the early morning hours. The Wichita Eagle reports the woman came out of her bedroom shortly after 3.30 a.m. and found the stranger in her kitchen. Wichita Police Spokesman James Espinoza says the man told police he thought he was at his aunt's house and he was hungry.

Police say the man entered the home through an unlocked back door. The 52-year-old woman who lives there was not hurt. The intruder who hasn't been formally charged was arrested on suspicion of aggravated burglary. So you just really want some cookie dough. Here's the thing. Uh-huh. This is happening more and more, and I keep hearing about it. I think it started when that one rapper girl broke into that house.

Oh, yeah. In order to find a phone. And I feel like, what was that girl's name? Sluzy Boozy? Oh, yeah, I remember her. Wrecky Becky? Something like that. It was like Weed Smokin' Willis or something.

Yeah, Token Bloken? I don't know what her name was. Yeah, Token Bloken. But what I do know is that in the last week, I've heard stories similar to this. There was one where a woman went to go take out her trash. And then when she came back inside, another woman was in her house just like chilling out. She's like, what are you doing?

And she's like, baby, and like kissed her. And the woman's like, get out. And she's like, you can't make me go. And then the husband woke up and was like, what's going on? And then the woman ran. Yep. I, I, uh, there was also a story about how at a grocery store, a woman walked into the grocery store and opened up a bottle of wine and started drinking it.

And then the people there were like, ma'am, you have, you have to leave, ma'am, please just go, just go. And she wouldn't. And then she walked around and started, like, eating things and stuffing. I think it was something like she stuffed grapes in her pockets or something. I don't know what was going on. And then they kicked her out, and she got arrested. What is going on, Crandor?

Why are people losing their minds? I think people are losing their minds because they're not just hungry for food, but they're hungry for substance of emotion. Uh-huh. What is that? Let me put on the David Lynch hat. Okay. So people are hungry for food for the soul. And by going into strangers' houses, they're searching for companionship that they lack in their life and hope

that the person in the house is not just a homeowner but a soul owner and that they will guide them to spiritual food that they can consume for love. David Lynch, you are a genius.

Thank you. I need to go catch some more brain fish now. Also, while this was happening, I found Bill Sversky's Sports Talk Chicago. It's entitled, Chicago Bears are Terrible, Blackhawks Win, Fire Trustmen. There you go. That's the title. Yep, that's the title. I don't even know where to go from here.

All I can say is I feel like have you seen the episode or not the episode but this little like internet meme skit too many cooks yet? No. Here's what you need to do. Okay. The next episode we'll talk about it at the start because it is insane. And you will appreciate it for its insanity. But if you're like me, don't watch it before you go to bed or you will be creeped out. Too many cooks.

I got to watch this. Before next time. It's about 11 minutes long and you will be like, what is even happening? And then you will never want to sleep again. Okay. Okay. Well. Or you'll be like our friend Will, who was like, that was hilarious. I mean, Will is very weird, though.

Agreed. He's very weird. Agreed. So, yeah. That's what we'll talk about next time. It's my homework assignment. That's your homework assignment. All right, guys.

I am still so tired and worn out from BlizzCon, but we're back and we have got more shows for you, so stay tuned! Stay tuned. And as always... What was that? An ostrich ran in that room. It was an ostrich. I had to squeeze him

to go get the bell. To be continued.