Cox n' Crendor Show - Cox n' Crendor: Thursday November 20th, 2014

Episode Date: November 20, 2014

On this episode the boys discover that mutants are real, and more importantly that Flordia Man is alive and well. Crendor tries to explain Interstellar and Jesse once again has no clue what he's talking about. All this and more!!!

Hello everybody, it's time for Cox and Crendog! Cox and Crendog in the morning! In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios! Recording! Wake your ass up! It's Cox and Crendog in the morning! Cox and Crendor in the Morning.

Hey, welcome back. Wait, Crandor? Something's coming in. Crandor, something is coming in right now. What? Whoa, hold on. It's an important breaking news story. I thought I threw out that Morse code machine.

It's coming through. It's coming through the wire now. Breaking news from CNN Daily News on Twitter. CNN Daily News. Hot dog. Boy claims to have superpowers after eating seven-year-old kid-cuisine microwavable meal.

This sounds like a true story. All it is is a picture of a little fat boy with metal attached to his body. I know. It's like spoons and dimes just glued to his body. He looks very unamused as well. He's just like, why is this happening to me? He has mutant powers.

He doesn't know how they manifest. I need to know. Crendor, is there a real story to this? Do you know, sir? Well, I had to find out, so I typed it into the Google. And what I found was inspiring, to say the least. Uh-huh. Dailymail.co.uk says,

Boy who suffered powerful electric shock claims he now has superpowers like X-Men's Magneto as metal objects stick to him. Wait, is this the same boy or a different boy? It's the same boy. Are you sure it's the same boy? I know that boy when I see him. There are very few boys that look like this boy. Again, bullet points. Russian school boy claims to have superpowers like X-Men's Magneto.

He got up one morning as a human magnet following electric shock. When he woke up, he realized coins had stuck to his body. Nikolai Kragenko. Wait, no. This kid, though, on CNN got it because he ate a seven-year-old kid cuisine microwave meal. Well, let's read a bit more into the story. Oh, my God. These two different boys with magnetic superpowers?

They look the same, though. Who are both little fat kids? Krendor. Who's telling the truth here? Krendor. What is going on? Is this an epidemic? Let me tell you about what this thing says.

All right. Is the boy in it? Yes. You sure about this? I linked it to you. Okay. A schoolboy who was almost killed when knocked out by a massive electric shock now claims the accident gave him superpowers like Magneto. Nikolai Kregelinkto, 12, had been walking home after school when he leant briefly against a lamppost that was live from a faulty wire and was blasted across the pavement all right can i ask a

question why does cnn claim that this was done by a seven-year-old boy eating a kink busy microwavable meal i don't know yet yet this website claims that it's done by a powerful electric shock it was the shock or the kin cuisine? I mean, kin cuisine's a better story. Yeah, it's a lot better. Electric shock makes it seem more real. Yeah. Yeah,

he managed to get home and then this is what happened. He's, he's a little cute, fat Russian kid. I know. Oh, look at him.

Look at him. Yeah, he's able to stick coins to him. The best part about this article on dailymail.co.uk, the best part about this article On dailymail.co.uk The best part about this article Is as you scroll down it's like Here's pictures of him

And the first picture is him And it's him like holding his arms out And like metal stuck to him And the next is a video And the next picture is him like with spoons to his back And the next picture is him with a coin in his head And the next picture is Magneto from the X-Men I know.

I'd like to think that whoever read this article just couldn't tell the difference. It's like, which one's which? Is this Magneto? But why is this okay you got to use the first one is the thumbnail no doubt why where did they get kid cuisine from i don't i think that's the mystery did he like eat the kid cuisine after no i think i think cnn is full of shit that's's what I think. Hold on. Let's search this. CNN kid cuisine. I think CNN is full of liars. I searched CNN kid cuisine.

They didn't have anything come up. That's because CNN is a bunch of liars. I agree. Breaking news. CNN full of shit, in case you were wondering. Full of it. Whoa. Look at his class.

Look at his class. So Nikolai, if you keep going down nikolai is like all right there's several things wrong with this so there's we need to link this article in the in in the description because if you scroll if you scroll down it shows him with his class and it looks like they're from like maybe the 1920s but the more important thing is in this photo is the biggest effing spoon in the entire

world like it's like they kept trying to like push in like soup ladle what is going on factory worker Leonid Tenkev in 2004 claimed he had the power to attract metal to his body following the Chernobyl disaster. What?

It's him, but, like, he has an iron on his body. He's just radiated. As of 1990, there have been 300 living magnets. What? 300? That's a lot of living magnets. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's a lot of living magnets Oh my god Oh my god

So I'm not saying That I've been looking at kid cuisine Uh huh But the food from kid cuisine looks like it could Cause superpowers I mean that's obviously true I'm not saying that I got distracted by a sidebar thing Here that says baby number four

For Kevin James and his wife Stefiana De La Cruz Stefiana Cruz Here's the thing that woman's gorgeous sidebar thing here that says baby number four for kevin james and his wife stefiana de la cruz stefiana cruz here's the thing that woman's gorgeous kevin james you give a man hope kevin james give it a man hope that woman is beautiful oh man kevin james look at her look at her he's nine years older than her ass too they have three they have three kids. Kevin James looking fantastic. Good work, buddy. Kevin James styling. You're doing it.

Paul Blart Mall Cop. You're doing it. Mall Copping around. Yeah. Have you ever eaten a kid cuisine? No, I don't. For a while, I ate a bunch of those lean cuisine things. Oh, yeah.

Because I figured, you know, it's only like 300 calories. That's pretty healthy. But God damn, do they taste awful. Like, they are the worst. Let's just say it has a bunch of filler stuff in it. I decided a long time ago that if I was going to eat healthy, I'd eat fresh stuff. Just eat real food. Here's the problem.

God, real food. Real food takes a while to make. It does take a while to make. Speaking of food, today I went to – so I had a bunch of meetings today, and I went around the entire damn city of L.A. And got stuck in like infinite number of car crashes. Like there were so many. And so I spent 90% of the day on the road. And so finally on my way home tonight, I went and got Mexican food at this little Mexican place down the street. One of my favorite places in the world.

Here's the thing. I don't know what was in the beans tonight, but within minutes of eating it, I just am a perpetual fart machine. I apologize if you hear that noise on the podcast. Perpetual. Because it's just like. Like it's nonstop. That's pretty accurate. It's like a wind.

Like a wind is creeping out of my butt crack. And it's just a constant. It's like someone left a draft open. I'm sure if you lit it on fire, I could propel to the moon. Because I don't know what's going on. I'm burping and I taste beans. I feel like tonight was a very special beanie night. I don't know what happened, but man

oh man, that is some beanie, beanie food. And here I thought it was being, I got a torta. I was very excited. A torta? I got a torta and I thought, this is great. I'll throw beans on there and we'll make it a day. Nope.

Don't do that. Holy crap. Don't do that. Lesson learned. So I am in a bad place. But, you know. Getting the gas out. I love that Mexican place. It's so good.

It's like a little hole in the wall. But those are the best places. Best Chinese food, hole in the wall. Best pizza, holes in the wall.'s like a little hole in the wall, but those are the best places. Best Chinese food? Hole in the wall. Best pizza? Holes in the wall. Best Mexican food? Hole in the wall. The less English they speak in those places, the better. That's true. If you go to an Italian restaurant and the dude there speaks English,

get out. Leave. Get out. Unless it's that one guy that's like, I'm making the goat head. Yeah, well, the goat head guy, he's good. Oh, by the way, the goat head guy watches us. Did you know that? He watches? Oh, yeah. Yeah. well, the goat head guy, he's good. Oh, by the way, the goat head guy watches us. Did you know that? He watches? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Oh, when we had one of our Patreon events, we discovered that goat head guy watched the episode and loved it. If you go there now, he's like the top favorite in comment on the goat head episode on the Cox and Crandor animated series. Yeah. The dude was like, is that me? This is great. I was like, I love you. You're my favorite cook on YouTube.

Like, normal people get starstruck over, like, celebrities. We get starstruck over, like, the guy who makes the Goat Head. Dude, the guy who makes the Goat Head is the best. Everyone should go to his channel and be like, Cox and Crandor say you're the best, because I love that guy to death. To search, like, Goat Head in YouTube or something. You'll find it. And we're not exaggerating either about that episode.

Can we just point that out? The guy's like, he's so good. That's exactly how he sounds. That's no exaggeration. It is that kind of level of love that makes us like him. I know. Goat Head. Here, I'll search it for you right now.

Goat Head. It is Orsara Recipes. It's like the number two video. Man's a genius. Man's a genius. And he commented on us, and we love him for it. I know. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Saw Interstellar. Oh, I didn't see Interstellar. You have to tell me. Screw it. You have to tell me what you thought. I can't wait. All right.

I have to tell you. Yeah. Here's the thing. I have to tell me. Screw it. You have to tell me what you thought. I can't wait. All right. I have to tell you. Yeah. Here's the thing. I have a feeling by the time I get a chance to see it, it'll be like the previous movies where weeks go by. Yeah. Just tell me. What'd you think?

Here's the thing. Uh-huh. Because I imagine this is a Crandor movie. I think this is a Crandor movie where you'd be like, my mind has been expanded beyond the proportions of- It was a Crandor movie till halfway in. Uh-oh. It was one of those.

Here's the thing. What does that mean? What does that mean? Let me just start it off. They're in the country in a dust storm. But it's like in the future. Like the grandpa in it is like our age. So like it's that far into the future.

Okay. The grandpa in it is like our age. So like it's that far into the future. Okay. And you can tell like something happened like that wiped out a bunch of people. Like the crops died off and the dust storm. But they keep showing all these dust storm clips of these old people. And it just reminds me of when Jared, you know, Frodo Jared.

He was like, I was watching documentaries on the dust storm. And it's always the same people. And they always say the same things like like we had our sheep in the back and we had our cows in the front and then the dust came i just did it so perfectly but i just couldn't stop laughing at all the dust storm things because of that sorry if you're in the dust storm. Where was I going with this? Oh, yeah. So then... Good story so far. Great. It goes into, like, a space traveling movie, and, like, it's like a space traveling save the... Well, because the last... because the guy

is a very good pilot, and he's the only pilot, like, good pilot left that can help them. Matthew McConaughey. I've seen that trailer. I get it. Yeah. And he's just like, gotta go save the world today. Time to go save that world. He's got to leave behind his family and his family. I was saving the world before it was cool.

But his family is like, don't go, Dad. We don't want you to go. We're going to die if you leave because the world's going to shit. And he's just like, I got to do it. I got to go save the world. But minor spoiler alert. So just mute your ears. Don't spoil the ending of the movie for me.

I'm not spoiling the ending. Don't. No. I'm not spoiling the ending. This isn't going to spoil the ending. What about spoil? This is a mini spoiler. What about spoil?

What are you going to spoil? What part? The middle. What does it involve? So, this. Don't you fucking ruin this movie for me. This isn't going to ruin the movie. Don't you ruin this for me.

Turns out what somebody told him may not be true. I'll just say that. So the world's not going to end? No, it's not that. But what somebody told him may not be true. That won't spoil a lot. You'll know it when you see it. All right, all right it all right all right

all right all right so is that what you didn't like a little bit but it's like it hits halfway and like i was really into it like oh man this movie is great and i was like oh it's got plot twist this got this happening and then it just i just didn't it started going too crazy for me or too like it i don't know. It got a little bit predictable. And I was like, okay, this is going to happen. They're going to do this. And I started predicting it.

And then the ending, I thought it should have just ended at one point. It was one of those endings where I was like, okay, it could end right now. And I'd be like, that was good. But it just carried on for an extra 30 minutes. And I was like, I just don't care anymore. They're going over all the stuff and filling all the plot holes that I just wanted to fill in my mind. And it was just like, after it was over, I felt like they should have ended it earlier. That was my biggest problem with it.

I gotta go fucking watch this now. You gotta go see it. Alright, alright, I'll go see it. You gotta go see it. We'll do an episode on it and I'll go see it. You gotta go see it. That was the thing. Damn it.

We need another movie episode. It's been too long. Damn it. We'll do an episode on it and I'll go see it. You gotta go see it. That was the thing. Damn it. We need another movie episode. It's been too long. Damn it. All right. I feel like you're going to say the same thing as me. They had a perfect moment. I don't want to hear anymore. I don't want to hear anymore.

What I do want to hear, what I do want to hear, is chapter number seven of the Scalp of Crandor. Crandor, how's that traffic out there? Traffic out there is crazy because today I'm flying over the Grand Canyon and there's nobody here. So I'm just looking down. Oh, there's a person! Hold on, I'm gonna zoom in on him. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. It appears that is McDoodle8. McDoodle8 has been spotted down below in the Grand Canyon. I don't know what they're doing. Looks like, oh, they're just going for a jog.

I don't know why you'd go for a jog in the Grand Canyon, but according to my traffic report here, back home, there's traffic on the roads, so watch out. Thank you. Thanks, Crendor. What was your thing that you did there?

Your Zoom sound effect? Sounded like driving a Formula One car. Okay. What's going on in the weather today, Crandor? Well, in the weather, I decided that we should head over to Buffalo, New York, where they got six feet of snow. That's what I heard. I heard on the radio today that there were 300 drivers trapped on the road. And then when they went to go save them, the truckers were like, hell no, we're not leaving our loads.

So there's a bunch of truckers stuck in like 2,000 feet of snow and just don't give a shit. Yeah. Those guys are balls. They are balls deep in snow, man. That's so much snow. They got – how do you get that much snow in 48 hours? Dude, I used to live in Buffalo, New York. There was one day.

It was close to Halloween, and I was on the road, and I was driving back to the dorms. And as I left where I was at – I don't remember where it was to save my life. But as I left where I was at from there to the dorms, it snowed three inches. It was like so thick white with blinding snow coming down. I couldn't see a thing. It was driving like maybe, maybe a mile an hour, probably less like going really, really slow. And there were cars driving by me like going like 50. And then I slowly inched by them as they crashed in a ditch and stuff.

I was like, you guys are dummies. I'm getting home alive today. Oh, yeah. No, it's bad there. That's that Lake Erie effect, man. It's that Lake Erie snow. It's that Lake Erie snow. Chicago has that, except they don't have it.

Yeah, we have the lake effect from Lake Michigan snow, but it's like a couple extra inches. It's also because Chicago is a giant city. Most of the snow is melted by the heat of the city. Yeah, it just gets to the city, and it turns to brown, slushy shit that everyone's like, it's on the road. Last time I was in Chicago during winter,

I remember seeing pink snow and was told that that's how they get rid of the snow. Oh, yeah. Pink and blue stuff on it. And like salt. Yeah, they have like they have just mounds of salt like huts. And then they're like, winter's here. They assault the roads like every day.

This guy is Chuck eating a Polish sausage. Salt in the road. Salt in the road. Winter's here. Winter's road. Winter's here. Winter's here. Winter's here. Coach Ditko, winter has arrived. What's he got to do?

I'm going to go salt the roads. Okay, going to go salt the roads. I got some Polish sausage here to eat while I'm salting these roads. You know, the roads would be salted a whole lot better if Coach Dick comes out there. They don't want him driving anything. They just want him to shovel it with his own hands. His hands just morph into shovels.

He ate a kid cuisine. A Polish sausage kid cuisine. The sneezes repel snow wherever he goes. Coach Ditka's so hot, he melts the snow. That's what we need for president there, Coach Ditka. That's a guy I can believe in.

Oh my goodness. Alright, speaking of Ditka, what's going on in sports? In sports news today, let's see, any crazy sports? We got the hairiest back sport. I don't think that's a sport. I don't, what is the back, we do need to know, what's the sport with the hairiest back though? So the hairiest back sport, according here.

Do you have more hair on your back than you do on your head does it look like you're wearing a sweater even when you have your shirt off well this is a competition for you arm wrestling no it's just it's hairiest back competition wait this is a competition wait hairiest back competitions are big guys who like i have hair on my back yeah It's becoming popular halftime. Wait. Hairiest back competitions are becoming a popular halftime battle at major sporting events. What?

With competitions being held all over America. What? Look out, rest of the world. Fittingly, the winners are often awarded laser hair removal packages. What? A winner during a Pistons game said he tried to add a little bit more movement and stuff to get some excitement. He tried to add a little bit more movement. You know, I guess

that's... You gotta wiggle that back hair. You gotta wiggle the back hair. Nice. And that way... Then there's also Milk Can Regatta, or Milk Carton Regatta. It was developed by the jealous southern folk as an alternative to the Darwin Beer Can Regatta. It is held annually in Adelaide, South Australia.

What the shit are you looking up right now? They have milk carton boats. What? Sometimes. In Canada, they have bag of milk races. Yeah, that's true. So that's a thing. Sometimes I think I'm crazy, and then I just go look up these things. I'm like, people do these things.

I'm not as crazy as I thought. Yes, people are idiots. That's true. You've nailed that one. So those are our two random ass sports of the day. All right. our two random-ass sports of the day All right, what is our big news story of the day, Crendor? Besides the fact that a boy has back-to-toe powers I mean, that is a pretty great news story

Uh, hold on, let me check my great weird news site here Uh-huh There's some weird news Weird news? Um... Weird news Uh, the front cover story Uh, I am a platypus.

What? Just says I'm a platypus. The transformation is complete. Genya Bolotov is a platypus. Hold on. Leave me this article. I need to see this shit. All right. Platypus. What? Hold on. Leave me this article. I need to see this shit.

All right. You got to. Wait, a woman became a platypus? Jenya Bolotov is a platypus, or at least that's how the 26-year-old Russian designer described himself. Oh, first off, Jenya Bolotov is a dude. Second off, that is the creepiest fucking thing I've ever seen. That is the creepiest thing I've ever seen. Externally, I am now a platypus, he said.

My resemblance is the way I want it to be. It takes bravery to do what I've done, and I will keep modifying my body until I am happy. Bolotov does have at least one platypus-like feature. His lip stretches out more than two inches horizontally, according to Cosmopolitan, best source. He's been piercing and transforming his body since he was 18, and his work has culminated into one really creepy YouTube video. Meet Zhenya Bolotov, the human platypus.

He said he'll continue his piercings, though it's unclear how much more body modification would make him look more like a platypus. First off, none of this does. The final picture of him is a dude who looks like he's in a dress

maybe? And he has kind of chick hair, but then he looks like something you'd see on National Ge but then he looks like he does something you'd see on national geographic yeah he looks like he belongs in national geographic places it looks like this boy look i'm just gonna say it mom dad what the hell what the hell what the hell what the hell mr and mrs balatov what the hell did you do to this poor boy he started out he started out you can see when he was younger He had these weird little

I got like two piercings And then he was like I'm going to go crazier And then he got this weird lip piercing How he eats anything I don't know And then he's like no I have this weird You know what Then at the bottom of this thing They have insane piercings and implants

And it's some dude who has wrenches in his face And here's the thing The dude with wrenches impches in his face. And here's the thing. The dude with wrenches impaled in his face, horrifically, looks better than this guy. It does. Oh, my God. He doesn't even look like a platypus. Like, that's not what a platypus looks like.

A platypus is an animal. All right. Oh, here's the story. What? What? Gabrielle Harris arrested for allegedly fighting cops in Taco Bell drive-thru. Go on. A man who attempted to order food from a drive-thru window while on his bike ended up being driven in a police car straight to jail.

Isn't this the second time we've heard a story like this? I think so. Why do people always end up on bikes in the drive-thru taco yes gabriel harris 33 was arrested sunday morning after allegedly getting into a fight with police at taco bell in new simbrana beach florida there we go florida harris and a female friend rode up to the fast food restaurant on their bikes. Oh, pause. Okay, on their bikes, plural. I was about to say, this dude rides with this girl on the front of his bike like it's in eighth grade? And he's 33. Man, 33 years old. Yes.

They rode up and attempted to order a meal at a drive-thru window as it was closing. When they were denied drive-thru service because they were on bikes, Harris and his companion refused to leave. Also because it was closing. So that means it was 3 a.m. at a Taco Bell. Let's be clear. Dude and his girlfriend riding around at 3 a.m. looking for tacos. They are high as kites.

Yep. Employees called 911, and when officers arrived, Harris was still on his bike near the menu speaker. As police were asking Harris to leave, one officer spotted a red Swiss army knife on Harris' belt loop and tried to reach for it. The suspect allegedly grabbed the officer's wrist, which led to a tussle. Harris was wrestled to the ground and handcuffed. Wait, why would they grab his knife? Uh, I don't know.

Like in Florida, you're allowed to have, like, guns and stuff on you and bars and things. Oh, wait. As police were asking Harris to leave, one officer spotted a red guns and stuff on you in bars and things. Oh, wait. The police were asking Harris to leave when officers spotted a red Swiss Army. Yeah, he tried. Why did he reach for his knife? Why wasn't he just like, take your knife off or whatever? What? You know what that cop is?

Fan of McDonald's. Yep, fan of McDonald's. He's in the pocket of Big Ronald. And he was trying to get him to leave so he could go to the 24-hour mcdonald's down the road and he's like no i want my taco bell that's just an american citizen one day exercise his right to get a burrito well there's a picture of harris i mean you know he's so sad he's very sad as well as having juicy fruit rainbow hair. Why does he look like that? His hair is literally like juicy fruit colors.

He just looks like, you know what he looks like? He looks like just a sad nerd. He does look like a sad nerd. He doesn't even look like he's trouble. He just looks like a sad nerd who's like, I dyed my hair. He looks like, I've who like i dyed my hair like he looks like i've seen that hair on youtubers before it's it's sort of like a lazy hair tie yeah like a very lazy hair tie or like it's just wearing out yeah like i feel bad for him yeah he just wanted Taco Bell. Look at his sad face. He just wanted Taco Bell, that guy. I was on my bike with my girlfriend.

I just wanted some Taco Bell. I just wanted some Taco Bell. A cop stole a Swiss Army knife. Screw you guys. Yeah, screw you cops. This was clearly a sign, a case of harassment. Yeah, these are not the Florida citizens we should go after. Yeah, this man was simply trying to get Taco Bell with his girlfriend on a bike.

Yeah. That's all he wanted. Nothing weird about that. It's not like platypus man over here. Now that's fucking weird. That's weird. All right, guys, that's it. Thank you for watching, listening, whatever you're doing right now.

And as always to be continued.