Cox n' Crendor Show - Cox N' Crendor: Tuenesday, February 20th 2013

Episode Date: February 20, 2013

Have you ever wondered what kinds of names people from around the world are allowed to give their children? Have you ever said "I wonder what the worst name in America is?" No? Well, after today you will. Also Jesse and Crendor wax poetic about old age and discover their shared loved for Canadian super sport Curling.

Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog! This is Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios. Recording! Wake your ass up! It's the next Trend Dog in the morning! Hello there everybody, welcome to Imitation Tuesday! Up and up, next friend in the morning! Up and up, next friend in the morning!

Hello there everybody, welcome to Imitation Tuesday! It's a Tuesday where we imitate! I'm gonna do a really bad William Shatner... Hello there, everybody, welcome to Imitation Tuesday. That's my bad William Shatner. I can also do a bad Christopher Walken. What are you doing? That was horrible! I did that. I almost

even tried. And that was bad. I almost even tried and that was bad. Jesse Cox 2013. The best part is if you put those two voices together Christopher Walken and William Shatner are both the same.

I don't know what he's talking about. And you are? I didn't really think about who I was going to imitate. I will imitate. Do your William Shatner. We'll do William Shatner today. Okay. Hello there, everybody. Do your William Shatner. We'll do William Shatner today. Okay. Hello there, everybody.

I am William Shatner. I am the pilot of this ship. We are the worst. We are the absolute worst. Or I'm drinking that Mexican Coke from yesterday because it's still good. The glass bottle keeps it good. Hey there, Holmes. I'm going to drink this Mexican Coke.

it good hey there homes I'm going to drink this Mexican coke all you did was sound like a white guy trying to portray a man's character who sounded like the guy on the commercials okay I'm speaking of which so the other day I'm driving down the road I assume Mike Diamond listens to this podcast He does Because they changed the commercial again Now it's a new one Where Jose is going out to go I guess he's going to go work there now Bubba's like hey Jose You going to go work at some perfume company

Right because he smells so good But they changed all their voices So now Bubba instead of being like a rapist Is like hey Jose Right instead of being like a rapist, is like, hey, Jose. Right? Instead of like, hey, Jose. Right?

And Jose sounds less like a stereotype and more like a real person now. So instead of being like, whatever you say, Uncle Bubba. Now he's like, whatever you say, Uncle Bubba. It's like, what? Whatever you say, Uncle. For I shall go where I want to go and do what I want to do. In living color. What?

No, that's before your time. In living color? That's before my time. All right. Well, that's great. I've only been alive 23 years. He's old man Jesse. He don't like TV. He reads lots of bookies.

Lots of bookies. Lots of bookies. I'll have five on the eagles. Good. Good. Get it? It of bookies. Lots of bookies? I'll have five on the Eagles. Good, good. Get it? It's bookies. Yes. Oh, I got it.

Oh, I got it. I only remember things from the early 90s and onward. That was early 90s. That was where Jim Carrey was from and all the Wayans brothers. And what's her face? Jennifer Lopez. They all started on that show. Well, early 90s, I was like four or five.

So I kind of remember it. I remember like Kid Things from then. Well, speaking of Kid Things, oh, that's a good transition. Hey-o! There's an article that I found called Who, What, Why? Why do some countries regulate baby names? Because here in America, you can name your baby anything. You really can.

You can name it John Wilkes Booth. You can name it Coffee Cup. You can name it French Fry. I'm sure there is a French Fry. Or you can name it... Oh, my little French Fry. You can name it Irish G. Willikers IV Jr. And I'm pretty sure right now that is someone's future name.

We have that kind of power. I name. We have that kind of power. I feel like we have that kind of power. I think we do. I like to at least believe we do. I do anyway. I believe it anyway. Well, so according to this article, there was a newborn baby girl. Well, this is 15 years ago, mind you.

This woman Bjork, which already, I mean, this is Iceland, where the names sound crazy to us anyway. So, she had a newborn baby girl 15 years ago. Her name was Blair. They named this kid Blair. In the eyes of the law, Blair, which means light breeze, is a male name and not approved. From age 1 to 15, this girl named Blair could not be legally called Blair. Even though her parents called her that and her friends called her that, right? On all of her official documents, it just listed girl.

The courts would not allow this girl to be named Blair. And I'm like, that's a pretty normal name. And I know a lot of girls named Blair. And so according to the Reykjavik District Court Thursday, she finally has, okay, this is a few Thursdays ago, I guess, according to this article. She finally has the ability to use that name. So for 15 years, she could not even be called her name. But this brought up the rest of the article that's, why do some countries, such as Germany, Sweden, China, Japan, why do they restrict names?

In case of Iceland, the reason why is grammar and gender, and they want to save people from possible embarrassment. So I kind of get that, but a name like Blair I don't understand. I guess in America, we're so skewed that when the name's like Coffee Cup, they're like, oh, that's the weirdo. Meanwhile, her name could be like Butterfly

Kisses Ninja, and we'd be like, well, I mean, that's just a name. It's probably one of those celebrity kids. In Iceland, and this is crazy, in Iceland there are 1,800 female names and 1,700 male names to pick from. You can only pick from a special list by committee. Whoa.

So you get a list. Those baby books? In America, the baby books are suggestions. Overseas, they're what you have to choose from. They're like, here are the lists. Choose wisely In other countries There are different rules Like in Germany

They recently refused to allow a woman To name her child Osama Bin Laden Which is probably a poor choice I'm gonna go on a limb and say It's a poor choice miss Yeah If I was that kid I'd be like Really?

Is that what you're going to name me? In Berlin, they tried to name a child Berlin, and the country rejected that name. That's a little strange. Yeah, it is a little strange. I mean, what if somebody messaged you and they're like, I want to name my kid Jesse Cox? I'd be like, yeah, okay. There's a lot of people named, like, Louisiana. I'm sure there's someone named that.

Yeah. There's someone, I don't know, Georgia. There's a lot of people named Georgia. Nobody wants to be named Illinois. It just means you're broke and have corrupt governors. Well, you know what? I'm positive there's a few like Rufus, Illinois, Jackson III. I'm positive.

They likely live in Illinois. Yeah, that's a good middle name. Illinois is a good middle name. I will say, though, that because America, most of our stuff is based off of people's names, like, or other cities around the world, because people came here, like we discussed yesterday or whenever that was. Maybe that's why we can get

away with it more. In Germany, a boy named Matty was not allowed to be named Matty. I don't know why, because I guess it's a possible girl name? Matty's does girl name. We do not have girl name here. Here's one that I understand for real.

For R-E-A-L in New Zealand. I get that one. That's funny. Here's a good one. This poor girl actually fought to have her name changed Her name was Tula Does the Hula From Hawaii That's like her whole name?

That's her first name And so she actually Fought, she's an American, she fought to have her name That's the difference! In other countries they prevent You from even doing it, in America we let You do it and then your kid has to hate you for the rest of their lives That's how we work. And then file lawsuits. And then in Japan,

these parents named their kids Akuma, which means devil. So it was not permitted, apparently. In 1993 that was a thing. Apparently in America, we have no problem with that. Here's some of the names that have been on the census throughout the century, last century. King's Judgment was a person's

name. Noble Fall was a person's name. Noble Fall was a person's name. Cholera Plague was a person's name. There have been 20 people named Noun. 458 people named Comma. 18 people named Period. And one person called Semicolon. Semicolon.

I want to get to know you if you're listening. I feel like this is that episode of Seinfeld. What was it? Seven? Six? What was the name of the kid? Six was the best friend of Bloss I feel like this is that episode of Seinfeld. What was it? Seven? Six? What was the name of the kid? Six was the best friend of Blossom. Seven was the name of the Seinfeld character. What did I say?

Six? So here's some things that it's a yes and no for each of these countries. Okay? So in Iceland, yes to Elvis. You can name your child Elvis. No to Carolina. Interesting. It's kind of weird. In New Zealand, yes to number 16 bus shelter

Want to guess what they say no to? The no is, yeah, Detroit I mean, that's a logical one I mean, who would want to name their kid after Detroit? So Germany, no of course was Maddie Yes, Legolas You can name Yes, Legolas. You can name your kid Legolas.

Alright, Sweden, yes to Metallica, no to BRFXXXCC XXMNPCCCC LLLMMMPR XVCL MNCK SSQLBB 111116. RG4 welcomes his distant cousin.

BR physics socks and MNIC pickle MNIC 1666 turning online. I have missed you. Continue. Apparently also In Portugal You cannot be named Mona Lisa That's weird Here are some unusual American names I like how these are unusual

To me these don't Okay some of them are unusual I was about to say to me these aren't unusual But they kind of are The first one is female So you just name your kid female The next one is enamel. Name your kid enamel.

These are real legit names. Lettuce. Lettuce. Mustard. Just all the sandwich comments. Hold up, hold up. This guy's name is Mustard M. Mustard. Mustard and mustard?

Mustard M. Oh, Mustard M. Mustard. He could be part of the Black Eyed Peas. Yo, I'm Mustard M. Mustard. I still can't confirm what that other guy's name is. It's Will.i.am, app the app, Fergie, and then Mustard M. Mustard. Your mustard and mustard hair spitting these rhymes. I drop the beat down low and I do it all the time.

Here we go. Boom, boom, boom. Boom, boom, boom. His name could be M and M and M. It'd be like 3M is what they call him. Yeah. 3M. M to the third. M cubed.

M cubed. Wait, that's four. Wait, M triangled. We're not very good at math though. Is it cubed? What is the- I don't know what it is. Look, it doesn't matter. Don't send us letters, we don't care. Yeah, I forgot all this stuff. We graduated, we don't need to care anymore. Yeah, exactly. You in school, you still care, but when you're done you can be like us. Alright. Yeah.

Uh, Mutton is another name. Mutton. Post Office is another name, and when you're done, you can be like us. All right. Yeah. Mutton is another name. Post office is another name. And are you ready for this? One person in America is named Vagina. Well, we need to look that up. Hold up. Hold up. There's one person named Vagina, and there's another person named Whore.

Who names their kid Whore? Seriously? That's a pretty douche move who does that probably florida man florida man you know how richard branson he got to like buy his own island yes so so i was reading about him apparently he like went down to like wherever i don't know like where they let you buy islands. Island town. Yeah, island town. He's like, how much do you want for that island?

And they were like 4 million. And he was like, I'll give you like 300,000. And they were like, okay, because I guess they really wanted to sell it. And he was like, oh, damn. So he got his own island and he like put a bunch of stuff on it. And now it's like super popular and he makes a bunch of money because celebrities go there. But like he got his own island and so when i get my own island i'm gonna have laws there and first law is you can only name your kid two things if it's a boy you can name him

john and if it's a girl you can name her rebecca and that's gonna be the law that'll be the most confusing island ever because whenever you call out someone's name, everyone will turn. Exactly. And then it'll be funny. No. Nothing will get done. Nothing. But you won't.

Okay. Nobody will be like, oh, that person has a weird name. Because they'll all have the same name. Well, then people will start calling themselves, like, Beckers and Becky and Beck. No, that will not be allowed. It's going to happen no that will not be allowed it's gonna happen that will not be allowed they'll do it in secret they'll do it your people will revolt against you and and when they raise their new flag it'll just have other names on it of what they want like the flag of jack well that's when i'll release the monkeys so on your island you have trained killer monkeys i do they sit in the cage waiting for the moment.

I imagine. Like, get them monkeys, and you open the cage, and there's a bunch of dead monkeys in the cage. You're like, oh, I had to feed them. Well, you've got to give them rabies shots. Like, give them rabies so that they give people rabies. You have not thought this through at all, have you? No. But I don't think through a lot of things

I can imagine you're like Get them monkeys you release the cage And they all attack you Because you kept them in the cage Like why did I give them rabies shots But I'd give them bananas Oh yeah that'll make them happy

They like bananas According to to, like, cartoons. If anything, now they'll attack you more because they know you have a stash of bananas. Well, this is not working out well. Not at all. That's why we're going to move on to chapter 17 of the Sky with Grendor. Grendor, how's that traffic out there? Traffic today is pretty good. You got some cars, you got some boats, you got some trains.

They're all going on the time clock. If you want, you can take the I-05 down to the I-54 and see a big cage of monkeys at the zoo. But I'd watch out because the zoo also has Florida Man there and he's beating people with the animals. Back to you. Thanks, Crendor. That sounds horrifying. Now let's go over to Crendor at the weather desk. Hey, how you. Thanks, Crandor. That sounds horrifying. Now let's go over to Crandor at the weather desk. Hey, how's that weather,

Crandor? Weather today is looking... I don't know because we haven't gone anywhere yet. Let's go to Bowidi, Egypt. Bowidi? Bowidi. Sponsored by Wheaties. Be weedy. Today in Bowidi,

it's 46 degrees Fahrenheit. calm winds, 50% humidity. Pressure is not available with only 6.2 miles of visibility. Interesting. Oh, my. Hold on now. Hold on. Give me a sec. One of our fans, Max Badinsky, best name ever, by the way, definitely sounds like a dude from Chicago.

Okay. Sent us a giant message about pressure. Because we were wondering about it, right? And we're like, someone's going to send it to us. Yeah. Basically what happens when you go high in the sky, right? The higher that you go, that's why I have to repressurize planes, the lower the pressure is. So you slowly become bigger, like we had talked about before.

Like, less pressure means you expand. And under high pressure, you contract. It, like, pushes you together because you're water and air and all that bits, right? So our bodies are designed to work under normal pressure conditions, which is around the average that we usually see, right? So if the pressure changes severely, you start to feel it and start to feel horrible. under normal pressure conditions, which is around the average that we usually see, right? So if the pressure changes severely, you start to feel it and start to feel horrible. So when you go deep underwater, your pressure becomes way too high.

And when you go way up in the sky, your pressure becomes really low. And so that's why when you, like, you have to repressurize yourself. When you're in a plane, that's why you have to descend slowly. Or when you're underwater really deep, that's why you have to go up. Because if your pressure's all screwy and you come back to normal pressure, that's when you get really, really sick. Oh, so that's like if there's big weather changes, too. The pressure changes and you can get, like, headaches and stuff. Yes, because your body is made up of water, right?

And water and air and you breathe in. So basically, that's kind of what we found out here. And that's to do with mercury and air and a bunch of, like literally this is the most this email was meant for someone who knows what science is. Yeah. And we're not that. Thank you Max for sending us that.

It makes sense now. So, yeah. We get it. We get it. Yeah. We don't know what science is but we can figure it out, kinda. Now, you said mercury, is Uranus involved? Uranus is involved. I assume the more pressure, the larger Uranus becomes. It makes sense. But, well, actually, no, no.

More pressure means your Uranus contracts. Uranus gets very tight. But, the less pressure, your anus loosens up. That makes sense. Speaking of sense, now it's time to go over to sports with Crandor. Crandor, what's going on in sports? Sports. All right, let's do curling.

Curling, oh, yes. Curling is big in Canada. Seattle area curling team on way to world championship. Go Seattle. By the way, for those who don't know what curling is, it's when they push those things down ice and then a man sweeps in front of it. Yeah. They have like a team that's just like. There's a lot of ice cleaning going on.

It's like Zambonis, but they're like human. It's a wonderful sport. So the win qualifies the Brady Clark team of Linwood to represent the United States at the World Curling Championships in Victoria, British Columbia. Wow. I bet there's a lot of teams that are going to just be amazing there. There are. The team has also earned a spot at the U.S. Olympic team trials, which will be held November in Fargo, North Dakota. See? North Dakota has stuff going on. Fargo.

Home of an extraordinarily violent movie. Seattle's Colin Huffman, who played for a Minnesota team at the competition this weekend, also has qualified for the U.S. Olympic trials. Brady Clark has won the U.S. Mixed Team Championship nine times, but this is their first U.S. men's team national title. Wow. I'm going to be rooting for Brady Clark. I know that much. I'm going to be rooting for the sport of curling.

Yeah. It needs more exposure because nothing is more fascinating than watching out-of-shape men slowly push like like, curling. It looks like giant, I don't even know, handled pucks across ice. Yeah. While another man furiously sweeps in front of them. They're like. It's an amazing.

That might be one of the few things I watch in the Olympics because it's amazing to watch. You're like, why is this a thing? It's like giant hockey pucks that have a disease. Hunchback. Hunchback hockey pucks with handles growing out of the back, yes. And they just sweep the ice to make the pucks go

where they want them. It's intense. Will he sweep fast enough? Who knows? Nobody knows. But next time on the next exciting episode of Curling with people that are boring. Canadians. Well, send your angry letters, Jesse. All right, now let's go to the big news story of the day.

Big news story of the day. Obscene tweets on Burger King account. Yes! Did you hear about that today? No. Apparently, I was informed it was anonymous, because I think they took credit for it, but it might be another hacker group, I don't

know, but a group hacked the Burger King account, and then basically just went around, like, tweeting people like, what up, my aunt, and like, just doing some crazy stuff, and then they changed the Burger King Twitter account to be McDonald's. And then they renamed it McDonald's. And for a good while before it got shut down, unfortunately, when I tweeted about it, that's when it got shut down.

Like, the minute I said, hey, guys, check this out. It's hilarious. That's when they canceled the account. You cannot go see it right now. But for a long while, it had some hilarious tweets. And people were asking, like, what's going on? And they're like, make sure to order our new Big Mac when you go through the drive-thru.

It was wonderful. They said McDonald's claims innocence in Burger King Twitter hacking. Well, obviously. I don't know. Nobody's gonna, like, McDonald's isn't gonna hack it and then be like, oh, McDonald's, we're doing this. They're not gonna give themselves away if they're doing it. And even, I don't know anyone who's like, there's a grand conspiracy

where McDonald's paid hackers to hack it and messed with it. No. No, you know what this stems from? This stems from the fact that Burger King uses horse meat in England to feed people. And they were like, you know what, Burger King, you're bad. You're bad people. Yeah. This is over here in America.

They don't use horse meat. They just use subpar fake meat. That gives you mad cow disease or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. That's horrifying, by the way. The fact that they think mad cow disease is linked to Alzheimer's, and here's the best part, less than 1% of cows are tested for mad cow disease is linked to Alzheimer's. And here's the best part. 1% of, like, less

than 1% of cows are tested for mad cow disease. Well. So basically you could be eating a burger at a fast food place and just, you're gonna get super Alzheimer's now. Good luck. Good luck. America. Well, luckily I already have Alzheimer's. Yeah, I gotta figure, by the time you get it, you'll

have forgotten that you cared. Yeah. I'll just be like, where's my hamburger? I'll be like, uh, don't. Dad, you shouldn't eat anymore. Shut up! No, where's my hamburger? It's like, oh, it's right there in front of you. Don't tell me what to do.

Where's my hamburger? Look, becoming feeble sounds horrible. Becoming old sounds wonderful. It does. If there was a way to grow old yet still have, like, the power of, what is that, Jack LaLanne? Yeah. That guy who was, like, 80 doing, like, 1,000 push-ups a day. He's, like, 95.

I want to be that guy. That's, like, I'm already halfway there. You are. You've already got that don't care attitude. Mm-hmm. You just need to be old. I feel like what you need is to go on a quest to find the lost grail and just choose the wrong one. You will age very quickly.

If I've learned anything from Indiana Jones, that's how you age quickly. And then, if you don't want to be that anymore, you go find the fountain of youth. Or, what if you drank from the wrong cup, then quickly drank from the right cup, you'd age a little bit, but then age to the point where you'd be that age forever. Whoa. Right? I feel like that's going to be flawed in some way, though. That's got to be flawed.

I've thought this through. I've done a lot of thinking on this. I've done a lot of thinking about this subject, and I feel like that would work. People are like, hey, I need you to do something. You're like, hold on I'm busy I can't and then you just go back to thinking about that. That's how it works, don't question it. Nope, none. Perfect plan. So what else did they say about Burger King? Uh, they said, don't blame the Hamburglar, Burger King's official Twitter account was hacked about noon EST on Monday and changed to resemble their rival. Pranksters swapped the page's profile image to include a photo of McDonald's iconic golden arches

and rewrote the account description to claim Burger King just got sold to McDonald's because the whopper flopped. Some vulgar messages were also tweeted and retweeted before Burger King bosses could get Twitter to freeze the account about an hour into the ordeal. Burger King's chief competition quickly claimed they were not the culprits. We empathize with our Burger King counterparts. Rest assured, we had nothing to do with the hacking. McDonald's. The pranksters fired off tweets like, If I catch you at Wendy's, we're fightin' before the merch account is suspended.

Other messages reportedly contained racial epithets, curse words, and references to drug use. Burger King told the AP it plans to post a statement on Facebook later Monday to apologize, especially for the offensive post. The company said it hopes to have the Twitter account back up soon. I really wish their Facebook gets hacked on Monday. So when they post their thing, it's like, Dear assholes, we didn't get hacked, you just fools.

Love, Burger King. Somebody tweeted, somebody needs to tell Burger King that Whopper123 isn't a secure password. Oh, I felt really bad because you know, rather than deal with the fact that someone had a really awful password or the security was messed up, everyone working for Burger King Twitter got fired today. They did.

Everyone. But who follows Burger King's Twitter? Here's the thing. When I went there, they had like 70,000 followers or something like that. And apparently they gained over half of them today in the hour that it got taken over what if it was them a pr oh dude it makes sense it makes sense we're on to something if burger king can lie about horse meat i bet they can lie about this they're just a bunch of liars but their lies have transformed them into marketing geniuses yep Yep, it's that damn king.

Alright guys, that's it. Thank you for listening and we will be back at some point. Some point in the near future. Eventually. Yeah. And as always... Ah! Good work.

To be continued.