Cox n' Crendor Show - Cox N' Crendor: Tuesday, June 18th 2013

Episode Date: June 18, 2013

We're back! The boys return with dreams of bigger things - like Australian musical instruments, wordly McDonalds food, and other randomness. You've asked for it, so now take a big ol' helping of Cox. ...and Crendor.

Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog! Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios. Recorded! Wake your ass up! It's Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning! Hello everybody, it is Tuesday. Up and up, next friend, and good morning! Up and up, next friend, and good morning!

Hello everybody, it is Tuesday. Hello. I was gonna be like, it's the day of twos, but then I stopped myself. Good, you're getting better at that. I am. We're growing. We're growing in a way that nobody thought we ever would. Up. Up. Up.

Like that movie. Yes. Our career has balloons attached to it, and we're slowly rising. Above the grave of our dead wife. Yeah. Making it depressing. So, during the weekend, I had an epiphany, and I wanted to run this by you, because I feel like this is my pathway to success. Okay. So, I assume everyone who uses the internet knows about Lindsey Stirling.

Yes. Or at least has seen her stuff, but doesn't, you know, you don't know her name, but you've seen her stuff. She's that girl who plays the violin, I guess is what that is. Mm-hmm. But it's like an electric violin. It's called a violin. I think that's one of those crazy contraptions. I couldn't tell if you were actually trying to pronounce something

or if you were just giving me a hard time because I felt like you were just like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh felt like you were just like, I was like, what the hell are you talking about? It is a viola. So she like dances around and like landscapes and rocks out on a violin. Landscapes. Landscapes. I thought she said she plays the violin in landscapes like she's mowing the lawn. She plays. Whatever, whatever. Yes. He said she plays the violin in landscapes like she's mowing the lawn.

Whatever, whatever. Yes. So she plays the violin and mows the lawn. Those are her videos. And so she dresses up and dances around. She got really popular because she does, like, nerdy things. So she, like, did one with Zelda and one that was Skyrim, like video games. And all the nerds were like, you boner.

And so she's become really, really popular. Well, it hit me that I need to become that kind of popular. Yeah. And I thought, what would be a good musical instrument no one plays, right? Mm-hmm. That I could make modern. Because she plays the violin, she plays it all modern, like, whata, whata, whata, whata, whata, whata. I don't know.

Look, that's my violin story. Whata, whata, whata, whata, whata, whata, whata, whata, whata, whata, whata, whata, whata, what Look, that's my violent voice. Exactly. Exactly. And I thought the one thing that would make sense. One thing. The only thing. Would be the Australian music phenomenon didgeridoo dubstep.

Brilliant. Brilliant. Brilliant. I know, right? So it'd be like, and then my goal is to eventually do music videos like Lindsey Stirling where I hold on to a didgeridoo and dance and frolic about in a forest

or on a snowy landscape and just rock out. But it's all dubstep so it's like but it's me just didgeridooing and your slogan can be do you didgeridoo it'll it'll catch on with the kids i want sure to say i want to didgeridoo cocks i want that and i'll. And I'll frolic. I'll wear her scantily clad skirt outfits and frolic in the woods. As you landscape. As I landscape.

And then the final pinnacle moment is Lindsay and I will be in a video together. And I'll be holding my didgeridoo and she'll be frolicking around me. And I'll be trying a video together, and I'll be holding my didgeridoo, and she'll be frolicking around me, and I'll be trying to out-dance her. Like, woo, boo, boo. She'll be like, wada, wada, wada, wada, wada, wada, wada. And that's what I want more than anything in the world. More than anything.

More than anything. Make it happen. That was my... Over the weekend, I had that vision. I want that to happen. I want to just frolick in landscape with her. It's... Wada, wada, wada, wada, wada, wada, wada. I want to just frolic in the landscape with her. It's... I really enjoy this idea, and I feel

it can take off. You can be the next big sensation. You'll be invited to concerts. You'll be invited to dancing with the stars. Yep, and I'll play the music. Except it'll just be dubstep didgeridoo. So the stars will be trying to dance.

RG-4000 will be dancing. I'll be doing the robot. Those D-list celebrities will be busting a move. Rub, rub, rub. Like this is the easiest to dance to. And all they do is just... You can't see me, but'm doing, I'm doing like Alright, what I want you to do

I'm going to teach you my dance that goes to the top step Teach us your dance Okay, so One hand, so I just farted, I'm laughing so hard Alright, that's the first step No, no, no, okay, okay So are. Alright. That's the first step. No, no, no.

Okay, okay. So lift both your arms up so that your elbows are like, I guess, making a straight line. Okay. So like the two elbows together. Well, not together, but like you hold it so that it goes from your shoulder

across your chest. One elbow to the other elbow is a straight line. Yes? Yes. Okay. And then your arms should just be in the air, like, facing up. Yeah. And then you take your hands and you make sort of, you like, sort of arch them towards each other.

Okay. Right? Then you then you're gonna have to stand. Okay? Alright, I gotta stand Then spread your legs apart Alright And sort of squat Like you're a sumo wrestler Alright

Your arms are still up and stuff And then step side to side But dance Alright do that Do that right now I'm doing it Okay You do it and I go

It works right It feels like my spirit's being just, it's growing. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's like a spiritual journey. Yeah. I feel it too. Whoa. Whoa.

That's the dance you do. Now I just imagine, I imagine millions of people doing it. Millions. Millions. It needs to be about 20% cooler. Well, alright. So then you shut your tongue while you do it. Oh, that's a good idea.

I didn't even know what that sound clip was. It just said 20% cooler and I thought it would fit. Well, it tells me I need to be 20% cooler and I thought it would fit well it tells me I need to be 20% cool I don't know how much cool I can get little kid okay okay I'm playing didgeridoo dubstep you have a dance to go along with it Florida Man is going to love this. Florida Man already has the album.

He used his powers to go to the future and pre-purchase the album. He's going to be dancing on someone's roof naked. He's going to be like, what's he doing? He's doing the didgeridoo dubstep. What are you doing? Now I'm doing it because it's so easy to do. You just move your legs back and forth and your arms like you're summoning forth a demon. A demon inside you. You're summoning a demon inside you and it's like, demon, demon, come out and play! Didgeridoo dubstep way!

Whoa, whoa, get this, get this. Get this. What, what, what, what? I just went to the didgeridoo store.com Uh-huh. You can get a didgeridoo for $25. Is it? How big is this didgeridoo?

It's as big as a human being. There's a woman playing the didgeridoo, and it looks like it's about the size of her entire body. If I had to guess, about five foot, like, three. I feel like, as a man, the longer my didgeridoo, the better. I mean, they also have USA didgeridoos. Are they at least twice the size of other

country didgeridoos? They should be. They should. They should be red, white, and blue. And at the end, kind of look like a penis. Exactly. That's what it's about, really. And Australian ones are eucalyptus didgeridoos. Oh, that's good. Isn't eucalyptus leaves good for something?

They also cost a lot more. Well, that's because they're the good ones. That's true. That's the difference. How much more are they? $260. See, that's worth it, though. It is worth it.

I think I might invest in a $260 didgeridoo. Made from eucalyptus leaves. It's going to be your career. It is. I mean, Lindsay has an electric, self-playing, I assume, violin. So I need a dub-stepping, let's say, didgeridoo. Holy shit, this one has like a dolphin on it. You need to get this one.

Look, there's some people playing didgeridoos on the YouTube. Yeah, but is it didgeridoo dubstep? This dude's in like a didgeridoo tent. He's like built a tent out of them. See, he has so many. See, he has so many. I assume he's trying to summon the demons deep inside to dance with him. He's talking about the back pressure, harmonics, vocals, and volume of the didgeridoo. He obviously doesn't understand the true potential of the didgeridoo.

Didgeridoos aren't about knowing what you're doing. It's about blowing. Yeah. If there's one thing I do, it's blow. It's the quote of the tombstone. That's it. Oh, my God. All right.

All right. Enough of that. It's time we moved on to important things. Like, jump! The guy on the sky! The grand door! Grand door! How's that traffic out there? Oh, I can't even hear you cuz there's someone playing the didgeridoo out there. It's getting really loud

I might have I might have forgotten the helicopter noise. Sorry Oh, I couldn't even hear the helicopter noise because there's some didgeridoos out there. There's a homeless man He's playing the didgeridoo and he's getting a bunch of tips because of it And there's another guy he's flying an airplane playing a didgeridoo And I think he's trying to distract me and he has done so Thanks, Crendor. Now let's go to Crendor over in the weather. How's that weather going? Today's weather is gonna be from Pa...

Pa... Today's weather is going to be from Payon Springs, Virginia. How is that word spelled? Payonian. The Payonian Springs. Payoti? Payonian. Payoti Springs. Okay.

They got 61 degrees Fahrenheit. It feels like 61 degrees because there's not a lot of wind. It's mostly cloudy, but there's some sunshine. If you want to go for a walk, take your dog outside. Watch out for the pollen, though, because it's high. Also the springs. The springs. The peonies.

Because you'll probably bounce around. The springs probably are bouncy. The allergies and pollen that are... Okay, let me give you some science here. Okay. that are... Okay, let me give you some science here. Okay. The pollen carries the allergies,

and they use the springs to spring into action, and they fly into your noses and give you the allergies and then get out of there. That's why you should never live in a place where the last name is Springs. Exactly. Just like if you move to Missataqua Falls. Paeonian Springs and Missataqua Falls are like distant relatives.

Yeah, because you're tripping over everything. Mm-hmm. And Missataqua Falls, it's in the name. It is. I wonder if anyone here lives in a place with the last name Springs or Falls. Maybe. And they could tell us about their crazy adventure of living there.

Maybe. Or, we can move on to sports! Sports. Ishiro Suzuki went 0 for 4. He's just, he's falling apart with the Yankees. And the Yankees are falling apart. They are. The Cubs finalize a 7-year deal with Rizzo.

He's going to help them lose for the next seven years. What's our big news story of the day? It's our big news story. We said we were going to talk about this last time, but we didn't. 17 awesome McDonald's dishes you can't buy in America. Oh, I totally forgot about this. I'm in. I need to know this.

Yes. So, even serving over 58 million customers a day through 31,000 restaurants in 119 countries, McDonald's takes the time to listen to its customers, and with good reason. Okay. McDonald's overseas revenue accounted for 65% of the company's $22.7 billion total revenue, all thanks to hit menu items like bacon potato pie and McArabia. Shut up! The McArabia.

Okay. So let's begin. Uh-huh, please do. The McDonald's McSpicy Paneer. Where's it at? That is India. It is India. McSpicy Paneer.

Where's it at? That is India. It is India. It is a fried curd cheese patty spiced with Cajun flavor, topped with red cabbage, celery, vegetarian mayonnaise, salsa, and cheddar cheese. I assume because they don't eat cows, but how can they eat cheddar cheese? Isn't cheese from a cow?

Uh, cheese is from, well, it's not, I don't know. Everything else in there was vegetarian. The cheese apparently isn't. Maybe they don't mind cheese. Yeah, maybe eating stuff from a cow is good. Yeah.

But eating the cow is bad. Look, I don't know how it works. I'm probably wrong. It doesn't matter. Don't they think cows are gods? Look, I'm pretty sure they are. So what they produce is godlike. What is going on?

Oh my gosh, that sandwich is probably, that cheese is like god juice. It is. The cheese is god juice. Cheese is god juice. It makes sense because cheese is delicious. That's what they believe in Wisconsin too. Wisconsin, India. Wisconsin and India. Not that different.

Next up is the McDonald's Bacon Potato Pie. I'm interested in this. Where is this from? Ireland. Guess where it's at. Ireland. Japan. What? Alright, Ireland. Look, I'm going on stereotypes

here. So far I've been right. Ireland. It's I'm going on stereotypes here. So far, I've been right. Ireland. It's Japan. Okay, what? Why is this Japan? It is Japan. I don't know why, but it's mashed potatoes, chunks of bacon, deep fried in a familiar apple pie shell. It seems delicious.

It does. So basically, it is like a Hot Pocket. It does. So basically it is like a Hot Pocket. It is. It's like a Hot Pocket, but a lot less good for you if that's possible. I need to go to Japan just to eat one piece. I have to try this. It's just potatoes and bacon. That's the most sensible thing the Japanese

have ever created to eat, ever. It is. There's probably a fetish for it where there's like guys like eating bacon potato pies. They just have little Asian girls rub it all over them. With soapy bodies. Nothing sexual, it's just soapy bodies and potato pies. Yeah.

That's it. Don't get it weird, people. It's just Japan. Yeah. Next up is the Babur Ayam McD. Uh, Malaysia. Yes. Really? Yeah.

Boom! Alright, I got two so far, I'm good. You got two. It, Babur Ayam McD is chicken porridge topped with chicken strips, scallions, ginger fried shallots, and diced chilies. That seems overly complicated for McDonald's. It does. I feel like that's one of those menu items that when you see it, you're like, oh wow, that looks delicious. And when you get it, you're like,

what is this shit? It definitely is that. Because the list of ingredients seems like it's a bit too much to keep those fresh in store. Yeah. Just saying. Maybe Malaysia's really good at it. Maybe. Maybe Malaysia is really good at it. Maybe.

Maybe. Next up is poutine. Oh, France. No, it's Canada. Oh, that's right. Whatever. You got it wrong. No, Canada is just as close to being French.

They have an entire, they have a French, they have a Quebec. That's French Canada. They have a Quebec That's French Canada They have a Quebec They just got one They got one of Quebec's If you call something a Quebec It sounds like a car Did you hear the Johnsons just got a Quebec

Oh damn the new model of the Quebec is crazy It's a hatchback four door It's amazing. Oh, wow. Wow, I know. She's probably pregnant. Okay, poutine. What?

What about it? Around since the 1950s, poutine is a traditional Canadian dish of French fries layered with cheese curds and smothered beneath brown gravy. Is it really Canadian? I thought it was... Whatever. Look, it doesn't matter. I'm still on that...

I'm still mad that I got that wrong. Damn it, Canada. I stick up for you. mad that I got that wrong. Damn it, Canada. I stick up for you. You screwed me on this one. Damn it, Canada. We're sorry. We're so sorry. We'll send you some poutine. I don't want it.

Send it over in our Quebec. We'll drive down there in our Quebec, ye. Next up is McDonald's Shea Shake Fries. Shea Shake Fries? Yeah. I don't even know where that is. South Africa. Hong Kong.

Close enough. Seasoned French fries. McDonald's fries flavored with a choice of seaweed, chargrill, French onion, or salt and pepper. What? What are seaweed french fries? Oh, that is too deep for me. That sounds pretty crazy, and I would try it. I would, too. Seaweed french fries? Oh, my God. Look, I'm not a fan of McDonald's, but I feel like we need to go. We need to start to do a Kickstarter.

Where it's just you and I traveling the world going to different McDonald's. To taste their foods. To taste their foods. We'd be dead at the end of the trip. Oh my god. The McDonald's McKebab. That is Saudi Arabia? Israel.

See, I was about to say it. No, you weren't. I was. I said it, and then you answered it. Well, you guessed it wrong. Saudi Arabia is close, but I was like, I don't think they'd have a McDonald's in Saudi Arabia. Damn it. No, you weren't. I was. I said it, and then you answered it. Well, you guessed it wrong. Saudi Arabia is close, but I was like, I don't think they'd have a McDonald's in Saudi Arabia. Maybe they do. I don't know.

They probably do. Look, McDonald's is probably everywhere, but I don't know what they would serve there. Damn it. Whatever. Shut up. Okay, go. The McKabob has kebabs served on flatbread with pickles, onions, lettuce, and tomato. That sounds delicious.

You should get a gyroro because gyros are better. Yeah, but if I'm going to make at McDonald's and I'm in Israel, that's what I'm getting. All right. All right. I agree with that statement. Thank you. How about the McDonald's gazpacho soup? Gazpacho?

Gazpacho. Gazpacho. Gazpacho. Gazpacho. Uh, gazpacho, where would gazpacho be? God, alright, hold on. Hold on. Alright. Hold on. What country is douchey enough to serve gazpacho on a McDonald's menu?

I mean, you can figure this out. I would say America, but I know we don't have it. So, um, Spain or Mexico? It is Spain. Boom! Yeah. Sorry, Spain.

Your food's kind of douchey. It is. It's kind of douchey. A classic summer soup served chilled. Chopped tomatoes, onions, cucumbers, peppers, celery Flavored with lemon juice and Tabasco Basically it's tomato soup cold Which is really weird I've never been a fan of it I don't understand it

But again, I don't drink V8 and stuff like that I'd rather just have it hot Right? Just cook that It would be delicious if you put it in a microwave Yeah, seriously Ugh, dumb dumbs Alright, next.

McDonald's Roasty Brekkie Wrap. Oh, my God. Roasty Brekkie Wrap. Just think of funny words. Yeah, Roasty Brekkie Wrap. I was going to say England. No. But Norway.

No. Sweden, Poland. No, you're way off. Poland. But Norway? No. Sweden? Poland? No, you're way off. Holland? You're way off. Roasty brekkie wrap? I don't, that's not even a word to me.

Exactly, that's why it's from Australia and New Zealand. Son of a bitch. Roasty brekkie wrap is a rasher of bacon, fried eggs, sliced cheese, potato, roasty. That's literally like, alright, it's something that we have. It's just a breakfast wrap, but they called it something insane. You're right. It is Australia. Yeah.

Basically, Australia is like, all right, so we're going to import a McDonald's breakfast wrap. Oh, we can't call it that. That's nuts. We'll call it a roasty Brekkie wrap. Good work, Australia. You're doing it right. Australia. Oh, I want to go to Australia so bad.

I hear, I hear, pray tell, the women are crazy. And I love crazy women. As you can tell by... Also, they can probably protect me. That's true. I assume they're all basically just really buff outback women. From, like, Mad Max. And if they haven't had their crazy outburst yet...

They can have it on me! Yeah. Strangely enough, my thoughts on that crazy outburst are not writing a very angry letter where they talk about sea punching me. Oh. All right, please continue. I don't know what we're on. The McDonald's McPinto.

Mexico. Costa Rica. What? God. Look, close enough. Close enough. Galapinto, the Costa Rican national dish that consists of seasoned rice and black beans. At McDonald's, it comes with scrambled eggs, sour cream, and plantains.

That is delicious sounding. Plantains, fried plantains, are the best. Fact. I've had plantains. They're pretty good. I once had it on a Cuban sandwich, a Cubano. It was the best. It was pickles and fried plantains and like the pulled pork

and stuff. Delicious. McDonald's Ebby Filet-O. Ebby Filet-O? Yeah. Isn't, like, Japan? Yes. Alright, good. At least I know Ebby comes from

Japan. I don't know the rest of it. I don't know the rest of it. Small shrimp battered in egg and wheat flour, breaded with a panko crust and deep fried. Panko is wonderful. Yeah. And it's served on a sesame seed bun, a slice of lettuce, and a pickle. That doesn't sound too bad. Look, Japan has a lot of stuff.

We'd have to go there and order everything on the menu. Yeah. They probably have, like, crazy Japanese stuff. We'd have to go there and order everything on the menu. Yeah. They probably have like Yes? Crazy Japanese stuff. It is Japan. Most of it is crazy. And Japanese. That's how I came to that conclusion. Thank you. Thank you for that. The McDonald's

Kiwi Burger. Um. Is that New Zealand or Australia? Yes. Alright, good. I assume because it's not an actual kiwi, though, right? It's not the actual bird? No. It consists of a 100% pure beef patty, farmer brown egg,

Wadi's beetroot, tomato lettuce, mainland cheese, onions, tomato sauce, and mustard on a toasted bun. The egg is grilled separately and placed on top. So basically it's like a Red Robin burger, basically. Yeah. Red Robin is good. Right? It's kind of, I haven't seen a Red Robin. The only Red Robin I know is the one that's near

BlizzCon. Really? In Anaheim. That's the only one I know. Which means we have to go there. BlizzCon! Red Robin party! Done. I agree with this. I have a dead Robin I have like two Red Robins by me. I don't have any by me like 10 minute distance That goes that's just it's part of that weird thing where it's like you see commercials for places. They don't exist Yeah, you're like why are you on TV here?

This is poor marketing because the other day I saw one that was for a, I see this all the time. All the time. Even when I used to live in Ohio. Sonic Drive-Thru. I see ads for Sonic all the time. I have never seen a Sonic Drive-Thru in my entire life. I have one close to me. Actually, wait, hold on.

There's one near my parents' house on the way to the movie theater they go to. But it's always closed. Always closed. It's always closed. I feel like they don't exist. Maybe Sonic, those commercials are part of a weird time warp. It's like the Bermuda Triangle of fast food restaurants. So I had the same thing happen.

And then they were running their commercials, and I was like, why don't they have one by us? And it was like there was one like an hour and a half away. And I looked it up, and apparently they like to advertise like a year or two before they actually start selling there. It's part of their marketing plan. Because they're like, it's going to build hype. No, it doesn't to build hype. And... No, it doesn't build any... All it does is confuse me.

I'm like, why do you have that? And so, then I was like, oh, I have a Sonic. Like, within driving distance of me. And so, if you go there, you have to wait for them to bring you the food. Like, you have to, like, wait for them to bring you the food. Like, you, you, like, park. And it's like, you know how they used to have those, like, rollerblading people that, like, skate out with your food? Yes. It's like that.

So, I don't like waiting for my food like that. I'm like, I just want this to be like McDonald's where they just give me my shit and I go. Well, speaking of McDonald's, let's do one more from the list. Okay. Uh, oh my god, we more from the list. Okay. Oh, my God. We have to do two. Okay. The McDonald's McLobster.

Germany. I don't know. Maine. Okay. Sure. Yeah, that makes sense. Corporate twist to the New England lobster roll. Lobster, McLobster sauce, and a lettuce in a lightly toasted bun.

If you lived in Maine, why would you go to McDonald's to get a McLobster? You can go to literally every other restaurant to get a lobster roll. Whatever. Okay. I have no idea. But how about the McDonald's bacon roll? Oh, my God. Please let it be Los Angeles.

The UK. Damn it. UK, you get wonderful stuff. British bacon and ketchup on a hard roll. And then there's McDonald's McBeer. McBeer's Germany. That's easy. That's Germany.

Of course. Germany. You drunks. Germany the drunks. All right. Well, then I guess that's it. We've learned a lot about McDonald's today. Apparently this entire episode is just sponsored by them.

We really should get a McDonald's sponsorship. We should. McDonald's. We'll settle for it. I don't know what that was. Just McDonald's clap. Oh, we became Spanish like... See you next time

Oh god Alright guys that's it We'll be back tomorrow For the next episode of Cox Grandeur in the morning And as always To be continued To be continued I'm out.