Cox n' Crendor Show - Cox n' Crendor: Wednesday, September 24th 2014

Episode Date: September 25, 2014

In this episode the boys discover a movie that may in fact be the one from the Ring. Also 3 boobs are put to the test! All this and more!

Hello everybody and welcome to Cox and Crend friend of the morning! Up and up, next friend of the morning! Hello everybody and welcome to Cox and Crandor in the morning. Welcome everybody to the grand show, the rodeo, the yo-ho. Uh-huh. Let's see where you're going with this. The yolo. The rodeo, yo-ho, yolo. I don't know where I was going with that either. You only live onceolo the rodeo yo ho yolo i don't know where i was going with that either you only live once the rodeo that's true true true that dog true facts and car facts get them

checked out with the car fox the car fox yeah the car fox that is the worst mascot it is that is the they were like what's similar to car facts and a stoner in the corner was like, it's one letter away from Fox, man. That's how that happened. Now, whenever I think of that company, I'm just like, is it Carfax or Carfox? I don't know which one it is. I mean, Carfox would have been nice, but I don't know what foxes do. Like, what do foxes do? I feel like they're going to try to con you out of something. Right? What is a, foxes are like what do foxes do i feel like they're gonna try to con you out of something

right what is the foxes are sneaky yeah like why would you rely on a fox like i'll help you find good car deals like they're not known for sniffing out stuff like car dog he sniffs out good deals that makes sense yeah car dog car dog that would have worked like Car Dog, too. Get out of here with your stupid company. Get out of here. By the way, this week sponsored by Carfax. Get your Carfax at your local Carfax. Oh, dear. So yesterday, we said that we would go see, well, I would go see Maze Runner.

And I did. And you did. And we need to talk about it before we end up with another 45 minute podcast about movies. We need to get short and to the point. What were your thoughts on that movie, Crandor? So my thoughts on the Maze Runner is

that it's like a divergent atmosphere feel, but it wasn't divergent. It was targeting the tween audience. Yeah. But it didn't feel that way. Yeah targeting the tween audience. Yeah. Yeah, that's what it was. But it didn't feel that way. Yeah. Does that make sense?

Yeah. And it's like they start off. He's like, he randomly gets transported to this, like, location that's like an island. And you're like, oh, where is he at? And they're just like, we live here. And now you're here. And nobody remembers stuff. And he's just like, oh, okay.

And it's like right from then, I'm just like, oh, and now you're here and nobody remembers stuff and he's just like oh okay and it's like right from then i'm just like oh well what happened and it like keeps that curiosity going because you always want to know like throughout the movie like what happened like in divergent i didn't care i was just like oh this is what it is and i don't care this was like what's going on i want to know what's going on and that's 99 of the movie is what is even going on right now? There is so much of that teen drama and then a girl shows up and there's a bunch of boys originally

and then a girl shows up and it's like but the one thing they did that was great they didn't make it into a douchey love story. Yeah, I like that too. I was like, thank you for that. I know. It was good. I liked that part.

And I think the concept of the maze was cool. How are the guys mapping it is my question. I was wondering that too. Because, like, well, I don't know. Because, I mean, they map. Didn't people map the world? How are they mapping it? Well, they're running out and they're seeing everything.

But, I mean, it changes. Again, again, how are they mapping it? Well, I don't get what they mean exactly by it changes. Like, do the walls shift? Like, there's one part where like the blade thingies are shifting is that what they mean by change or they mean like it completely changes i i don't look i don't know i don't yeah i'm glad i'm glad this movie was light on plot because yeah it really i it was almost like i i don't know so much of what's happening that an additional information overload would have just killed me.

I was like, I don't know what is going on, but it's entertaining to watch. And then the last five minutes, maybe ten minutes, are bonkers. Just bonkers. Actually, we have to say the ending. The spoiler warning is up. If you don't want to know the ending. Spoiler warning, spoiler warning, spoiler warning, spoiler warning. Yeah, so come back in like 30 minutes.

So, all right. So at the end of this, they finally bust through the maze. And there's like a lab. And they're all test subjects, basically. And this place they're at is like in the middle of a desert. And all the people in the lab are dead and they watch a video where this woman's like the world ended cause of

sun flares or some shit? Like some disease caused by sun flares and stuff. Not, I mean insane stuff and all these people cause they're immune to it were put into this glade for what reason? I have no clue zero clue of why they were put in there. They're just they're testing

their resistance well why would they need them to be in a maze it doesn't make any sense they're like trying to figure out what makes them resistant to it I think I don't I don't know what I do know is it goes full bonkers mode because then the woman in the video just kills herself and then dudes run in grab everybody and take them away and then it's like all the scientists who you thought were dead are alive now and they're like good we moved to phase two and it's like what is happening end of movie end of movie i know? What just happened? So, like, obviously them killing themselves on the video is part of the test they put together. Yes. Like, it's a stage.

Which literally makes no sense. But I guess they set it up that way because when they sent the girl in, they had a note that was like, you're the last, this is the last person. Yeah. And so I guess because they realized that sending in Tom, or whatever the hell his name is, the main guy, was going to, like, once he killed a griever, a reaver, whatever those damn things are called,

once he killed one, they were like, oh, well, I guess they're going to break through or something. Like, I don't know. It doesn't make sense. All I know is they get through the maze and they're in a lab, and there's a bunch of dead scientists who are not, in fact, dead. Who are all testing them the entire time. And then, spoiler, this is also a test.

And it's like, initiate phase two. And that's literally the end of the movie. It's like, what is going on? And, like, okay. And what do you think about, like, the characters of the movie. It's like, what is going on? And like, okay. And what do you think about like the characters in this movie? Look, I'll be real honest. The dude who was in the third Narnia movie, that guy who has the weird eyebrows that always cruise me out.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Hold on. I don't know his name, but I enjoy him immensely. And I can't figure out why, but I just like that dude. Yeah. He looks very strange, but I just like him. He seems like a cool dude.

I like that guy. I like Albie, the black guy. Will Poulter? Will? Yeah, he's Gally. Oh, yeah, he's Gally. That guy. Yeah.

He comes in at the end and tries to kill him. Yeah, I like him. You didn't recognize the Game of Thrones guy? Huh? I got it. Newt. Newt is... Oh, he's the dude.

Okay, spoilers. He's the guy from last season with the skeletons. Yeah. I didn't even realize that. Yeah. What? I know, right? I am old.

I was like, I didn't recognize that young boy. He was the one person I was like, oh, he's the guy leading Bran Stark. Yeah, I don't know that I know anybody else. Now I'm looking through the thing, I don't know anybody. Yeah, I don't know anybody else. Most of these people I've never seen before. A little like the fat kid, Chuck. You know what I liked about that, though?

They didn't, usually in movies, they make the fat kid like the, like, ho, ho, ho, ho, golly gee, ho, ho. They didn't do that. Yeah. Like, you know, he was there for jokes and stuff, but he wasn't like, oh, ho, ho, ho, I don't know if we can make it, guys. I hope there's food around. Ho, ho, ho, ho. Yeah, there don't know if we can make it, guys. I hope there's food around. Yeah, there wasn't any of that.

So, I mean, it's definitely, it was a relief from Divergent, which was very, like, by the book and very, like, by the numbers when it came to the story. It was like, ugh. This movie was 99% what the hell is happening and then 1% oh my god, what the hell is happening? That's a good way of explaining it. It was crazy pants. And I love that. I think it goes to the fact that we love David Lynch movies and how wacky those are.

And this was just as crazy. It was like, what is going on? I just love movies that are like outside the box and just blow your mind. And you're just like, I don't. It keeps you watching. After I saw the movie, I actually had to go look up what was going on. Because I was like, that can't be the ending. I was like, that doesn't make any damn sense.

Turns out it's part of like a series. Yeah. Like a book series. And there are three books and then a prequel to explain what books one through three were about. I mean. I'm like, well, shit, there you go. So I'm kind of interested. I guess it's like a novel for teens or something.

I don't know. Yeah. A lot of people are doing the Hunger Games type concept now. Like, it's all about fighting this government. But it's like, this is more about an actual post-apocalyptic world with a disease killing people. And they're trying to change it. And it's like, whoa. And then you add in the maze.

And you're just like, whoa. I don't even. Yeah, apparently this is a book that came out in 2007. And then it's followed by one called The Scorch Trials that came out in 2010, and then another one called The Death Cure, and that was 2011. Oh, and then the next book was called The Kill Order.

Whoa, The Kill Order. And I guess that just came out? Yeah. My favorite part is it goes, Critical reception of the Kill Order was positive. Kids World, K-I-D-Z World, gave it positive reviews. Thanks, Kids World. Thanks, Kids World.

Kids World. We find the books that got the stooks. I don't know what that means. We find the books that got the stooks. Yeah, I'd recommend it. Go see it if you haven't. I guess a lot of people did. It was like number one in the box office or something.

I mean, there's like no other movies to see. It wasn't even on my radar. I wasn't even going to go see it until I heard, like, it was just wacky. I was like, oh, this is right up my alley. Yep. The fact that this doesn't make any damn sense, perfect. I love movies where they're all, like, on an island, like, stranded, too, and, like, none of them know why.

That's what I loved about Lost. Lost was so good. The first four and a half seasons of lost were fantastic tv like there was so much going on where i had no clue what was happening there was this podcast and i don't remember what the hell it was but it was it was like some dudes who lived in hawaii would do a podcast uh on lost and they would like drive out to where the sets were being filmed they have like all this inside information about like what we saw

today and all these cool things and they would try, like people would call in and they'd try to come up with what was going on in the story and it was crazy cause you know, their guesses in season two were totally wrong by season three but then they had like grand story arc things they thought were gonna happen

and I got really into it cause I was like no one knows what's going on with this damn show it's so good and then they were like it's it's about people and not the island it was like no shut up you're the worst it's always about the island it's always about the island yeah i would recommend i would recommend to you and to anyone listening who likes stuff like that go watch twin peaks it's very weird you will you will immediately know who's responsible for it crendor is it uh fbn yeah david lynch there you go twin peaks oh man i'd have to see it you really do it is very strange uh if you like video games i would recommend a game called deadly premonition it is basically the twin peaks of video games it is nonsense i love stuff like that where it's just like i don't know what is going on but i really enjoy this oh man now i want to see it now i want to see it's oh it's the movie i like plus david lynch

it's like a double feature there you go uh i also managed to look up nick cage turns out he's making one two three four five six movies right now wait what i know he's making the new left behind movies yeah he's making the new left behind he's also got dying which is um can we just talk about how amazing that is that That the Left Behind franchise has been made six times now, and they're like, F it. It wasn't good. We need Nicolas Cage in there. So Nicolas Cage is going to take on the Antichrist. Can we just point that out?

That's amazing. Look at this movie cover of Left Behind with Nicolas Cage. Oh, I've seen it. Oh, I've seen it. Oh, it's so great. He looks really confused as to why he's there. He just doesn't know. Well, that's the cover for this episode.

Yep. That is incredible. So there's Dying of the Light. Dying of the Light, the runner. Evan Lake. This is Nicolas Cage. So basically just Nicolas Cage, a desk-bound Langley CIA agent, is forced into retirement by signs of early-onset dementia.

At the same time, he discovers his former tormentor, jihadist Muhammad Baneer, oh Jesus, is not dead as assumed for two decades, but is alive and receiving experimental medical treatment. Baneer's exact location is unknown. With the help of a disgraced young agent, Nicolas Cage sets out to track down Bonier. He must confront him before it's too late for them both. A professor frantically searches for his son, who is abducted during a Halloween parade. How come, like, the last five Nicolas Cage movies we've seen have been him looking for a family member abducted.

I know. I was wondering. It seems like he plays the same thing. The description for his movie, Men With No Fear, an ex-felon becomes, plots his revenge against the game lord who had him sent to prison. They didn't even try to write that in English. I mean, it's directed by Paco Cabezas, so he probably wrote it. Outcast, September 26th, in China?

What? Nicolas Cage is in a movie that only came out in China? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Nicolas Cage and Hayden Christensen. What? Whoa. A mysterious warrior teams up with the daughter and son of a deposed Chinese emperor to defeat their cruel uncle who seeks their deaths.

We need to watch this movie. We need to watch this movie. It comes out in three days. In China. So you're saying we have to go to China. It comes out in three days. Look, look, We need several thousand dollars to fly to China

to see this movie. What is going on here? This is incredible. Literally, this movie is Nick Cage hating Christensen, some guy named Ron Schmorberg, who's known

for fighting Jackie Chan in Who Am I? just with his feet. Oh, he's the feet guy in Who Am I? That was an awesome scene. Whoa. And then just a bunch of Asian dudes. No, wait, and someone named Preston Baker. Oh, but they're all crusaders.

Oh, so there's a white guy. Oh, they're all crusaders? So they're a bunch of white crusaders and then everyone else is just gorgeous Asian people. Oh, my God. This movie sounds amazing. We need to see this movie. So they're a bunch of white crusaders, and then everyone else is just gorgeous Asian people. Oh my god, this movie sounds amazing. We need to see this movie. Nicolas Cage.

Nicolas Cage is killing it, killing it. He has made 77 movies. Wait, hold on, hold on. Nicolas Cage is 77? Yeah. I think we have him beat. That's a lot. That's a lot. That's a lot.

But Samuel L. Jackson, 158 credits. Oh, damn. Samuel L. Jackson is in everything. Although, hold on, actor, because some of these are video games. Oh. That shouldn't count. Yeah, that shouldn't count. That shouldn't count. That shouldn't count.

I don't think Nicolas Cage has been in any video games. Although, although, I'd watch that, play that. I would too. Maybe he's in like the National Treasure video game. I'm gonna say no. I'm gonna feel like he did not have anything to do with that.

Okay, maybe not. Either way, I wanna see that and I wanna see Pay the Ghost where he looks for his son during a Halloween parade or whatever. Let's get to something a little more podcast-y. Okay. And that is... Traffic's pretty insane right now. Cars are backed up because I'm flying over China for the Outlast premiere.

Loads of people out here right now. Nicolas Cage, he's somehow managed to go across seas to get here extremely quickly since yesterday. Also, I see Oscar Larson and Jeff Long in a fist fight. Hopefully they can settle that out. And Greg Pennefather. What a cool name. Greg Pennefather. He just crashed his car into a building.

I hope he's okay. He probably is because he's giving the thumbs up back to you. Thanks, Crandor. Now let's see what's happening in the weather. In celebration of the maze runner, going to go to Maze Nigeria. I bet it's something like Maze. You're just culturally insensitive. That's what I am.

I'm good at it. Okay. Today it's going to be 98 degrees and hot. Tomorrow's going to be 97 and hot. Friday, Saturday, it's going to be some rain, 96 and hot still, but rain. Hey, look. That's good. Hot rain is good rain.

Yeah, hot rain is good rain. Oh, is that a movie, Hot Rain? Hot Rain? Oh, man, is it? I don't know. I know rain's good rain oh is that a movie hot rain hot rain oh man is it i don't know i know there's hard rain hot rain would be a great movie the hot rain 1999 a love that doesn't include opening up unless you can be someone else what starring ali anderson tanya barnes eric starring Allie Anderson, Tanya Barnes Eric Coble, Alex Michaels and Lourdes Tolliver I don't recognize any actors on here but Alex Michaels has a thing where you can click

on his name to see who he is I click on his name and go look at the images it looks like people are, like there's pictures of women like wrapping each other up in tape what is going on? what is this? what is happening? he's got photos of women wrapping each other up in tape? What is going on? What is this? What is happening?

He's got photos of women wrapping each other up in tape. What is happening? Is this even a movie? Who is this man? What is... Oh, it's written and directed by Alex Michaels. What? What?

It's all about him. It's about him? Alex Michaels wrote and direct this movie? Whoa. The Hot Rain, Alex Michaels. Yeah, The Hot Rain. Whoa. This?

You know how in scary movies, when you see a movie, a woman comes out of it and eats your face off? Yeah. That's what Hot Rain looks like. It is. It's like that the it's like what's that that girl the ring remember that one what the shit it's on youtube it's on the hot rain is on youtube hot rains on youtube the hot rain part eight the hot rain look up um, it's Prelude to Cinema is what it is. Okay.

But it doesn't have, like, a slash because it just has youtube.com slash blah, blah, blah, different letters. Oh, yeah. Because I guess he didn't update his thing. But it's on here, and it's recorded on, like, an old-school camera. Oh, my God. God, it's horrifying. It is, like, out of the ring. Wow.

This is what you see before you die. This is what you see before you get a call that's like seven days. This is like what somebody would film in like their high school film class if they had no money. I think this might have been his high school film class except this guy was born in 1966.

He was in high school a long time. Yeah. He just kept making movies. They're like, you can't graduate with that. I'm sorry. I can't. On his IMDb page is a picture of him with the Cleveland's Brown VIP draft experience. April 24th, April 14th, 2014.

This is the most recent photo, and it literally has nothing to do with acting. I love this guy. I love this guy in every possible way. Holy crap, is that funny. Manny's got the Cleveland Browns draft experience and that's the weather that's the weather alright what's going on in sports

speaking of Cleveland Browns draft experience let me tell you something about the Cleveland Browns draft experience it's not very fun well for certain draftees yes yeah so I mean the Golden State Warriors It's not very fun. Well, for certain draftees, yes. Yeah. So, I mean, the Golden State Warriors got a stadium being built that looks like a toilet. Uh-huh.

And that's all I got. There you go. That's sports. That's sports. All right, Crandor, what is our big story of the day? Well, we were going to do the three-boobed woman. Uh-huh. But I don't have that article.

Everyone has been sending it to us all day. All day? This is your one job. This is your one job. Hold on. What story were you going to do that was better than a three-boomed woman. President Obama gestures to Marines dubbed the Latte Salute. He's got a latte. Latte.

The Latte Salute. Oh, my God. Wait, what? So, December calling it the latte salute. President Obama stepped off Marine One at the Wall Street landing zone in New York City, and he saluted two Marines as he held a coffee cup in his hand. Video has drawn ridicule from some Instagram users who saw the unorthodox salute as unpresidential. Hopefully it was just a slip by the president, one user posted.

Others saw unnecessary nitpicking and criticism. People are dying from disease, abuse, or even hunger, another user commented on the video. Priorities. That's, look, that's good, but it's not three-boob good. We got a recent article here about a three-boob woman being a fake. What? Yep. Breaking news. Breaking news.

Breaking news. Yes, Crandor? A three-boobed woman allegedly had three boobs. But, according to the According to this report on TMZ, a three-boob woman is a fake. What?

Yep. The woman claiming to have three boobs is a fraud. A fake. Ironically, what exposed her lies, a crime someone committed against her. Jasmine Shridevil has been making the rounds, claiming she got plastic surgery to net her an additional boob. But we got a document from the Tampa Bay International Airport Police Department describing a baggage

theft. According to the document, someone stole a bunch of luggage off an American Airlines conveyor belt, including a black nylon roller bag. Cops caught the thieves after IDing them with surveillance video. The black bag belonged to Tri-Devil, but before she got it back, it was inventoried by police as part of a crime against the crooks. Or a case against the crooks. Guess what was inside the bag? The boob.

A three-breast prosthetic thing. By the way, she told cops the prosthetic was valued at $5,000. What? Yep. It's a fake boob. I don't dollars what yep it's a fake boob i don't believe this it's a fake boob i believe this less than i believe that a woman went out and got another boob at it on i know tmz i challenge you to prove that yeah i challenge you i want real evidence i i fundamentally believe a woman In her right mind went out And had a third boob

Attached in between her other two boobs Yeah I believe that too Cool Papa said shocking Cool Papa Was very invested in that He was like oh no My three boob girlfriend

Man Cool Papa's not so happy anymore Like, oh, no, my three-boob girlfriend. Man, Cool Papa's not so happy anymore. Cool Papa is the only person who can handle a woman named Tri-Devil. Tri-Devil? Tri-Devil? What the hell kind of name is that? They call me Janice Tri-Devil. That has to be a changed name.

But why would you? Out of all the names that you can make yourself has to be a changed name. But why would you? Out of all the names that you could make yourself into to be a badass, you chose Tri-Devil. Tri-Devil. You know what? She deserves to not have that third boob anymore. Yeah. I'm glad it got taken away by the... That thief knew. That thief was doing us all a favor.

He exposed a lie. A three-breasted lie. That's not what we need in our life. Or anyone's life. How would you motorboat three boobs? That's a valid point. You'd have to go in a circle. Resurrection says, Harvey, forget three boobs.

Give me three bobs. I don't know what that means. What? The quality comments over at TMZ. And then Saskatchewan says, I'd still suck on them. Okay. The woman who claims to have the third boob implanted on her body showed off the goods, but not nearly long enough for the TV anchor who was interviewing her.

In a moment that will go down in journalism history, the TV guy asked Tri-Devil for a look at the third breast, and when she only flashed it for just a moment, the reporter asked, Can you hold it up a little longer so we can get a better shot of it? She refused. That's because it was fake oh no she doesn't i was about to say what kind of woman with three boobs doesn't want to show off her three boobs unless they're fake yep fake can't fool the internet now tmz nailed it tmz nailed it can't fool the internet. Nailed it. That old man on TV I see all the time who's like, tell me something good. Who's always drinking a soda. Yep.

That guy, I don't know his name. Jonathan TMZ. Jonathan Tims. Jonathan Tims of the Tims fortune. Yeah, that's great. Well, we learned that the internet jumped the gun today. They were telling me there was three boobited women out there. There were not.

There were not. It was a lie. It was a lie. You know what you should do to fix that? What exactly? Go see the Maze Runner. It'll make your mind better. That will fix nothing.

You'll be like, I don't know what is happening. Oh, God. That's it, guys. That's fix nothing. You'll be like, I don't know what is happening. Oh, God. That's it, guys. That's the show. Thank you for listening. And we will be back tomorrow, as always, to be continued. Ding. Ding.

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