Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 106 - How To Buy A House For 1 Dollar

Episode Date: July 8, 2015

The Watcher returns! And the mystery deepens. Also Jesse and Crendor talk about a man's run in with some alligators and a guy who can eat a lot of food way too fast. All this and more, on this episode of Cox n' Crendor!

Hello everybody, it's time for Cox and Crendog! Cox and Crendog in the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios. Recording! Wake your ass up! It's Cox and Crendog in the morning! Cox and Crendor in the morning! Cox and Crendor in the morning!

Hello everybody, welcome back to Cox and Crendor in the morning. Hello and welcome back to Cox and Crendor in the morning. Uh-huh. Hold on, I just had a flash of something. There's a thing. You said to me when I was in L.A., you were like, we should do a thing so people can edit it into a thing. Oh, we did do that.

Oh, what was it about, though? That's what I'm trying to think of. What was the... Oh, man, was it for a song Like it was going to be a rap Was it The don't do drugs song Yes that's right

Okay okay okay At the top of the show here guys Here's what we're going to do If you can make remixes and fat beats Crendor and I Actually this is all Crendor but I'm going to take credit for it Crendor and I, actually this is all Crendor, but I'm going to take credit for it. Crendor and I want to create a DJ, like a mix master DJ called DJ Straight Edge.

And he is so, so into not doing drugs that all of his beats are like this. Crendor, go. Don't, don't do drugs. Don't, don't do drugs. So the way we have it in our mind is, like, when the song's just like, the song, you know, it's just like it, right? But then, I'm like, right before the drop, it's like, don't do drugs. Don't do drugs, right? So we're going to give you some, like. No, but I don't want, like, anything after that.

I just want, like, don't do drugs, right? So we're going to give you some like... No, but I don't want like anything after that. I just want like, don't do drugs. Don't, don't do drugs. Alright, so we're going to give you... Like, I don't want anything. I want to like have this intense, amazing build up and then just be like, don't do drugs. Okay, so here's what we're going to do. I'm going to be the beginning and Krednor is going to be the don't do drugs part. Alright, so what I'm going to have for the beginning of the song is going to be like,

don't, don't, don't, don't do, don't do, don't. Right? So that's all you get to use.

Right? That's all you get to use. Then Crendor hits you with, don't, don't, Don't do. Don't. Don't. Don't do.

Cool, okay. And then you get the don't do drugs. Go. Don't do drugs. Don't do drugs. Don't do drugs. Don't do drugs. Don't do drugs.

Okay. And then we got... Drugs are bad. Drugs are bad. Drugs are bad. Drugs are bad. Drugs are bad. Drugs are bad. Drugs are bad. Don't do drugs Don't do drugs Okay And then we got uh Drugs are bad Drugs are bad

People die from drugs Think of your parents Think of your children Right then Crandor give me some more Drugs They're not smart. They'll ruin your life.

And something about drugs that is bad. Perfect. So now, take all that stuff, make us a song. Yeah. Make us the best song you can think of. There was one person out there that came to the meetup.

The Cox Crendor meetup and he did make a song out of it but it it was too it's too uh too upbeat like i liked it but the don't do drugs part the drop it needs to be very dull and very boring it needs to let you know that when you're on drugs you're a bad person. If you're out there, guy, that made that song, do that. Just eliminate that beat drop.

Give me an intense buildup with no beat drop. Yep. All we're trying to say is, now, keep in mind, we don't mean all drugs, only bad drugs. We'll let you determine

what the bad drugs are. Yeah, like Advil, that's not a bad yeah like advil that's not a bad drug yeah that's not a bad drug don't we we're just saying you know don't do the bad drugs the good drugs like um i don't know meth weed coke like that's fine bad drugs though whoo tryptophan get it out of here. Acetamophen, get it out of here. That's bad news. Yeah. NyQuil. That's super bad news.

That's bad news. Get it out of here. We don't want you taking that. Also, big news at the top, Crendor. Big news. Big news? If you remember last time. I might.

The Watcher. Oh, yeah. I remember that. The Watcher. There's an update. An update? July 7th on The Watcher. Oh, yeah. I remember that. The Watcher. There's an update. An update. July 7th on The Watcher. Oh, my God.

The Watcher is probably the worst thing that has ever happened to the Brodusis, a family forced to flee their recently purchased $1.3 million Westfield, New Jersey home. But for everyone else not receiving end of the onslaught of creepy letters from the anonymous voyeur, it has sure been a fascinating ride. William H. Davies later become Westfield's mayor. What? Bought the place back

for a buck in 1913. A buck? The watcher is named such for his it's pen its penchant. Penchant? Penchant. For watching the home and its inhabitants and is stated in the numerous missives that he's been spying in the house since 1920. Could the Watcher be tied to Davies?

Did the Watcher watch Davies? Who knows? Davies moved out in 1947, but not before the house was struck by lightning in 1932. Holy shit. Which caused some structural damage to the roof. He sold the house to his son and daughter-in-law for the ceremony body, $1. Oh my god. Selling a spacious home to one son for $1 is one thing, but the pair eventually sold it to Dillard and Mary Bird in 1951

for another dollar. Wow. In keeping with this decidedly bizarre tradition, the Byrds turned it over for another $1 to the Backseas in 1953. In 1955, they handed it on to the Schaefer for guess what? $1!

$1! $1 then is equivalent to about $8.95 today. The home remained in the hands of the Shapers until 1990 when it was bought by the Woods. The Woods, who were the owners who sold it to the Brodus family for a cool $1.3 million, are now facing a lawsuit for failing to disclose the place is being surveyed by a psychopath murder ghost. Was the Watcher a relative of Davy's? Is the Watcher a woman? Wait, what kind of question is that?

Was the whole thing a ploy from a jealous neighbor who wants the place cheaper for, say, like, a dollar? Or is the place doomed? I love this background! Yeah, that's crazy So up until the 90s The house was only sold for One dollar to everyone Yeah

And then the people who had it then Sold it to these other people For 1.3 million Maybe that's why the watchers come out of the woodwork The watchers angry because it wasn't For a dollar So he's like yo You, it wasn't for a dollar. Crandor. So he's like,

yo, you better sell this house for a dollar. This story is so good. This story is so good. This is really good. This better be a movie. And at the end, Oh my God.

At the end, when he kills people, he leaves a, he like stabs them. There's a dollar where the knife is. Like he stabs people with a dollar. Oh my God. Or he stuffs a dollar in their mouth is like he stabs people with a dollar oh my god or he stuffs

a dollar in their mouth oh this is so good it's i guarantee you they're not gonna do it that well though i wish stupid idea but then we got this other wonderful thing is this from the watcher or a horror movie about to give you a quiz. All right. Have they found what is in the walls yet? Is that The Watcher or a horror movie? The Watcher. Of course it is.

We remember that one. I remember that one. Yeah, the line comes from the excerpts of The Watcher's letters included in the lawsuit. Within the walls continue upright. Bricks meet, floors are firm, and doors are sensibly shut. Is that a Watcher or the horror movie? Watcher.

No, it's from a horror movie. Damn. It's from a movie called The Haunting. Pretty close. I've heard of that. I haven't watched it, though. All right, what about this one? Whatever you do, don't fall asleep. Pretty close. I've heard of that. I haven't watched it, though. I've heard of it. All right, what about this one?

Whatever you do, don't fall asleep. The Watcher or a horror movie? Horror movie. Horror movie? Yeah, you're right. I don't know which one it is, though. It's from A Nightmare. A Nightmare?

Sleep... Oh! Wait, what? Oh, it's literally A Nightmare on Elm Street, but the damn thing is covering up where it says on Elm Street. All right. Let the young blood play again like I once did. That's the Watcher, no doubt.

Yes. We know the Watcher. We know the Watcher. We're like, we're so tight. We're Watcher super fans. We are super fans of the Watcher. All right. number five. Why are you here?

I will find out. The Watcher or a horror movie? Horror movie. Oh, no, that's The Watcher. Damn. Oh, The Watcher's going to get you. All right. No one can make us leave this house.

The Watcher or a horror movie? That's a horror movie. Yeah, that clearly a horror movie? That's a horror movie. Yeah, that clearly is. That's from The Others. What? Now that they have to flaunt it, they pay the price. Watcher or horror movie?

Watcher. It was? I would have said horror movie. Dude, do you think the price is $1? Oh, shit. What if they just price is $1? Oh, shit. What if they just send him $1? Would that make him happy? I don't know.

Maybe he just likes, maybe he needs dollars to like eat. Maybe he eats them. Maybe, yeah. That makes no sense. Perfect. No one's been able to live in it. It doesn't want people. The Watcher or horror movie?

That's a horror movie. I think so, too. Yeah, that's from The Changeling. Yeah. Ooh, number nine. Have you checked the children? That's The Watcher. I think so, too.

Oh, no! What? It's from When a Stranger Calls. Damn. Ooh, I would have thought that wasanger Calls. Damn. Boo. I would have thought that was The Watcher. Me too. It cries for the past and what used to be in the time when I roamed its halls. The Watcher or a horror movie?

Dig deep. I know you got this one. I think I know what it is. Watcher. I would have said The Watcher too. We're right. Yes. We got seven out of ten right. I know what it is. Watcher. I would have said the Watcher too. We're right! Yes! We got 7 out of 10 right. We know the Watchers. We know a C-level Watcher.

Nice. We are a solid passing grade Watcher fanatics. That's graduation right there. I'm proud of that. I am too. We didn't even study. We didn't even study for this. That was exactly how I did in school. Just guessed.

Yeah. There's only, it was 50-50 chance every time. I thought that was kind of weird that my teacher did that. Be like kids, they get their thing back. They're like, oh my God, I got a C. And I'd be like, whoa, I got a C. Awesome. Normally I'd get like whoa I got a C awesome normally I'd get like D's

I'm so excited by the amount of information coming out about this damn thing NewJersey.com has so much crap on this watcher thing it's insane one is that the letters oh my god

Crandor this is why they mentioned that it could have been a woman so check this out alright The letters. Oh, my God. Crendor. This is why they mentioned that it could have been a woman. Oh, damn. So check this out. All right. They DNA tested the Watcher's letters, and there was female DNA on it. Boy.

Yeah. So the Watcher may be a woman. Oh, my God. What? Wait, how did they? This gets crazier and crazier. What DNA did they find? Was it hair? Was it, like, skin? Yeah, waszier and crazier. What DNA did they find? Was it hair? Was it like skin?

Yeah, was it? Was it saliva? How did they find it? It doesn't say here. I don't know. It contained DNA. And it did not match the female owner of the home. Oh my god.

This is intense. This is great. Then they're saying the Watcher House may never, because it's so stigmatized, it may never sell again, which might mean the only way you can sell is for a dollar. Oh, my God. What? It's all coming together. $1.3 million to $1.

And that's how it continues. Damn. This is the best story there ever was. This is a pretty amazing story. I'm not going to lie. So, yeah. Oh, man. This is great. This is the best story there ever was This is a pretty amazing story I'm not going to lie Oh man this is great This is pretty great This is super great

We need more information This story will continue in next episode too I am super interested in this story I love it Beautiful Watcher Oh wait hold on is that a signal that you want to go to chop the cops go with Grendor what the hell does it say

Grendor how's that traffic out there I've heard some shitty call outs to me up here but it might be one of the worst uh anyway traffic up here it's backed up because people are trying to get to the watcher museum they now have a watcher museum over there in new jersey a lot of people backed up uh it appears that benjamin churlin uh it looks like he is he's yelling out his car window for traffic to move because he wants to get he wants to get there before they close you know it's gonna be closing soon looks like uh christopher mortensen he's actually out his car window for traffic to move because he wants to get there before they close. You know, it's going to be closing soon. It looks like Christopher Mortensen, he's actually running the show there over at the Watcher Museum.

He's locking the doors, so all bets are off, but at least traffic's going to start picking up again. And, you know, don't do drugs. Back to you. Thanks, Crandor. Now let's go to Crandor at the weather desk Back to you. Thanks, Crandor. Now let's go to Crandor at the weather desk. How's the weather, Crandor? Weather?

I thought you'd never ask. I wasn't going to, but I figure we got to turn Wapion sometime. If you keep him off too long, he just overheats. Yeah, it's true. Don't question how that works. It just does. It's like he's just overworking in Qatar. Mm-hmm.

You know? Yep. He's so hot. Wappy. 8, 4, 7, 5, 1. Milford, Utah. Milford, Utah? Milford, Utah.

Mm-hmm. 77 degrees Fahrenheit. Partly cloudy. Wind. West 3 miles per hour. Fahrenheit. Fahrenheit. Humidity. 29%. Fahrenheit. Tonight. 58 degrees Fahrenheit. Tonight, 58 degrees Fahrenheit. Fahrenheit. 20% precipitation. Wind, south, southeast, 7 miles per hour. I love the way he says it. I love the way that he says Fahrenheit. Yeah, he does say Fahrenheit pretty well. He says it like he means it. Fahrenheit.

Fahrenheit. Yep. Oh, Woppy. Yeah, thanks, Woppy Yeah thanks Woppy Cool And Let's go to the sports test With Grendor How sports

Sports Are doing pretty well Yeah the The Cubs won a double header Against the Cardinals today You're not gonna start With women's football Oh yeah

The women's You're not even gonna start With the women's football oh yeah the women's uh you're not gonna start with the women's football i forgot that even happened the women's football team won the the world cup they beat japan they beat japan and i think it was uh they lost to japan like a couple world cups ago or the last one yeah they lost the last one i I think it was the last one, yeah. I think it was in like penalty kicks or something like that. Not penalty kicks, whatever it is.

They kick it, you know. I don't know shit about soccer. Penalty hour. Set up for the kicks. What I do know is that the best thing to come out of it were all the tweets that were a picture of that eagle and it was like beating Germany, then Japan. We've done that eagle. And it was like, beating Germany, then Japan.

We've done that before. And it was just a picture of this American eagle. Like, yeah. I laughed. I was like, oh, America, you're so cocky when you win. That's my country. Also, we have some great NFL stories here. Do we?

So Packers tight end Andrew Corliss was arrested in Miami Saturday morning after firing a gun twice during an altercation. Of course, of course. Here's the best part. He tried to flee the scene and hide the gun in a plant, but they found the gun and him hiding by the plant. Yes, of course uh also giants uh jason pierre paul i believe his his name is fantastic name all i know is his name is jason p jason yeah jason pierre paul uh interesting news with him as his friends call him, Jason PP. Yeah. He managed to severely burn and damage his hand on the 4th of July with fireworks. Of course.

Some people thought he would be able to play again, but it turns out he should be able to play again. However, he's an idiot. Remember, he's an idiot. again however he's an idiot remember he's an idiot they opted to not pay him his long-term deal because they want to see whether or not he can actually play as well with his burnt hand now and he could have signed that deal before he was an idiot but he was an idiot and didn't sign it and now he's an idiot here's the thing he doesn't deserve a long-term deal if every year on the fourth of july they're like don't set off fireworks in your damn hands, dummies. And he did that.

It's his own fault. It's his own fault. They do it every year. Every year since I've been alive, they've been like, here's a picture of a man who got his hand blown up by a freaking firecracker. Don't be him. I won't even go near the things. Also, if anyone remembers Donovan McNabb of the Philadelphia Eagles.

Everyone remembers Donovan McNabb because he sold Campbell's Chunky Soup. That's true. Well, he's not selling anymore because he's been arrested for drunk driving. Maybe he was drunk on Campbell's Chunky Soup. Well, it's his second arrest in 18 months. McNabb was previously popped in January of 2014 and agreed to spend one day in jail as part of a plea agreement. Might not get off so light this time.

American football, is there nothing we can't do? Stay out of trouble, apparently. Hey-oh! And, uh, yes, that's pretty much the sports. All right, what is our big news story of the day? Our big news story of the day is being searched for right now. Great. All right.

Here's some options for you. Thanks. We got Bolivian Gourmets hope to thrill the Pope with Quinoa communion wafers. You mean quinoa? Quinoa. That's the one. Yeah. Yeah with Quinoa communion wafers. You mean quinoa? Quinoa, that's the one. Yeah, yeah. Quinoa, uh-huh. There's, let's see, land, wait, what?

Okay, there's what the heck is Lady Baby? Which is that thing you linked on Twitter. Yeah, I know what Lady Baby is, and it it's horrifying we're not even going to bother discussing that Yeah Uh let's see Italian grandmas try Olive Garden for the first and last time Holy crap I bet that's amazing But it's probably a video

Uh why are we not Why are we not doing the story about the man Who got eaten by an alligator What? Why are we not doing the alligator man's hold on Man eaten the man who got eaten by an alligator? What? Krendor. Who got eaten by an alligator? Why are we not doing the alligator man's hold on? Landscaper traps chupacabra. Holy crap.

We need to talk about that one. But first, but first, Krendor. All right. Let me tell you this story. Texas man taunts giant alligators, jumps in water, is eaten by alligators. Alright. I get it when people don't like to follow the rules. It's romantic to be the rebel. There's something about someone who refuses to let society dictate the terms of their life.

That said, there are times when society is right on, and only an idiot would defy the rules and warnings. This is a story of one of those times. This weekend, a man in Texas decided to jump into the waters of the bayou and go for a swim. The only problem, the stretch of water is known to be home to giant alligators. I know what you're thinking.

How could he have known that? Well, his friends warned him and there were giant signs posted that said, No Swimming Alligators. Of course. What did our hero do? Well, according to CNN, this was his decision-making process.

He said, F Alligators, and jumped into the water and almost immediately yelled for help. So he was warned to stay out of the water by both people and sign, screamed F alligators, jumped into the water, then immediately got killed by an alligator. It's rare that the world punishes stupidity so quickly. That is a real article from the internet. It doesn't actually surprise me. I like that his friend said, don't go in there. And he's like, F them alligators. And then just jumped in and immediately was killed.

Like, immediately was killed. It was amazing. So I'm surprised we didn't have that story. But all right, let's hear about the Chupacabra. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on. I forgot something. I forgot to mentionathan's hot dog eating

contest oh my god so uh joey chestnut was the defending champion of oh old chestnut old joey nuts old joey nuts and he managed to uh he's won like seven years in a row or something. Of course. Old Joey Nuts. Everyone knows the Nutster. He dethroned Kobayashi, who was like that crazy Japanese eater guy. He was the guy who used to dip the hot dog buns into the water. Yeah, now everybody does that.

So he could just shove them down his mouth. Everybody does that now. So gross. That's so gross. And so Kobayashi got banned now from the Nathan's contest. I don't know why. Just, I don't know. Whatever.

Because he's an invincible cheater. But after seven years or eight years, whatever it is, of winning, he finally lost. And he's been dethroned by a YouTuber. Oh, my God. What YouTuber is this? Matt Megatode Stoney Who? He is

His YouTube channel is Megatode Stoney I'm looking this up Megatode Stoney I love the fact that This guy, oh my god Look at that He's got millions of views on his videos of him just eating food

he's got burrito zilla killed in under two minutes 10 000 calorie english breakfast jack-in-the-box ultimate munchie meal 6500 calories 120 twinkies in six minutes holy moly five this guy this guy deserves his almost 700 000 subscribers yep and so uh he finally took down joey chestnut little kid oh my god he's so tiny they said he weighs he's 5 8 and weighs 130 and i'm 5 7 and weigh like 125 so he's pretty much like the size of me he's like a krendor baby yeah he's like me and he's also he's also got that like fierce asian like i can eat anything and not get any weight look yeah and so he managed to five pound hummus challenge no water shut up 50 bananas seven shamrock shakes

i feel like you're just going to watch these afterwards. Pizza Hut, $49 Super Bowl deal, 1,200 calories, eats three whole pizzas. Oh, my God. He eats a whole pizza in 90 seconds. Shut up. Oh, my God. 12 jalapeno doubles eaten in under three minutes. I wonder how fast he could eat a McCott's. Four Whoppers in 60 seconds? Who is this man? Oh my god. 12 jalapeno doubles eaten in under 3 minutes.

I wonder how fast he could eat a macaque and crendor. 4 whoppers in 60 seconds? Who is this man? How fast could he eat a macaque and crendor? I want to know. We need to challenge him. We need to challenge him. Oh, we need...

Everyone needs to go message him. On his latest video. No, we're going to hit him up on Twitter. Hit him on Twitter, yeah. We need to challenge him uh what there's an error i can't find his about information i went to his twitter you oh you have his twitter it's on his youtube it's just i couldn't get to it matt stoney here whatever whatever well all you need to know is look this guy up and you need to uh challenge him next time the uh mcrib appears yeah everybody just everyone needs to let him know he must take on the cox and crendor the mccox and crendor challenge which is to eat one mccox and crendor in six seconds oh my god do it can no here we go eat and assemble it six seconds what are you what are

you matt stoney a pussy six seconds we need to find out to To assemble and eat. He only has 14,000 followers. That's not that many. This guy, his views are crazy. Yeah, he's got insane views, insane subscribers. That's crazy. So we can find this out. Everybody go on Twitter. He's just at Matt Stonie, S-T-O-N-I-E.

And just be like, Cox and Crandor challenge you. Oh, my God. 384 pot stickers, challenge you. Oh, my God. 384 potstickers in 10 minutes? Oh, my God. This man is a machine. This man is a machine. The 120 chicken nugget challenge. You know what?

Here's the thing. God bless him being on YouTube. Without him being on YouTube, we wouldn't have been able to appreciate this stuff. I know. 120 bagel bites. He had a McRib eating challenge. 200 plus oysters in three minutes. Oh my god. This is amazing.

Amazing. This guy, I like... I'm grossed out yet completely enthralled. Oh my god, there's one of him just downing McRibs. You know what he started out as? Here's the thing, doing challenge videos. Yeah. Like, it's him doing challenge videos, and I guess it like, yeah.

His very first video two years ago, 128 ounces of Gatorade, 37 seconds. Oh my god. Damn. Oh, my God. Damn. Oh, my God. Yeah, we need to challenge him. We need to have him on as a guest. Yeah. We need to do a panel, guys.

If there's going to be a guest on this show. PAX South, we need to arrange this. At PAX South next year, next January, we get this guy to show up and have him eat random shit as fast as he can. That's our panel. That's our whole panel. We need to make this happen. And then you guys can bring food for him.

Oh my god! And then you bring food for him! And then we just make him eat and that's the panel. That's the whole effing panel. That sounds like the greatest panel of all time. The single greatest panel there ever will be. Mm-hmm. Oh my god. I'm ret- oh, we need to just tweet at it.

Everybody, we need to get his attention. Everyone, we need his attention. We need his attention so badly. What? Six pound jar of jalapenos? Oh my god. These are insane. Insane! Wonder Bread Challenge? 120 Chicken McNuggets solo. 200 Oreo Cookie Challenge. There's so many.

How does he keep going? How does he do? He just comes up with stuff to eat. We need to challenge him to eat some crazy stuff. Got to challenge him. Get him before all the big radio companies do. Like, let's get those call radio. No, screw that.

Get him on shows where it matters. We need him on our show. We need him on our show so badly. Deep fried asparagus challenge. 14 pound Big Mac challenge. 23 bananas eaten in two minutes. 10 McDonald's cheeseburgers in two minutes. This guy is mind-blowing mind-blowing

bacon cereal challenge 128 ounce gatorade in 37 seconds this is incredible this man's incredible he wins we need him on the show need him on the show we need him on the show so get him on air i want to know how he's alive. I do too. In two years, he's eaten more food than any human being should eat in like, I don't know, maybe their lifetime? I would love to just ask this guy about competitive eating. 150 Dunkin' Donuts Munchkins Challenge. Are you kidding me? Oh my god.

He ate a whole turducken? 15 pounds. 15 pounds of meat. Oh yeah, I remember this guy. He did the two-liter diet Coke challenge. This man is... Really, he's a hero. He is a hero.

Really, he's a hero. Not the hero we deserve, but the hero we need. Yeah, he's the hero America brings. If there's a superhero conference, and the hero we need. Yeah, he's the hero America brings. If there's a superhero conference and every hero from around the world, from every country goes, this is the one America sends. Mm-hmm. So he's just a normal guy. And they're like, oh, no, Dr. Doom Maker has put a thousand hot dogs on this tray.

And if we don't eat them all, radiation will destroy Earth. And he's like, don't worry, fellows. I've got this. It's amazing. But yeah, he won the hot dog eating contest. He ate 62, and I think Joey Chestnut only ate like 60, so he's the new champion. Screw you, Joey Nuts. We got a new champion now you Joey nuts we got a new champion now yeah we got a new champion Stoney we got Stoney Maddie Stones Maddie Stones

I like it all right well what was the Chupacabra story is it nearly as good as that uh I feel like we just save that for next time all, we'll save Chupacabra for next time. That's it, guys. Thank you for listening. And as always, I don't have my bell here. Just make a ding noise. A ding. To be continued.