Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 114 - Stoner Sloth

Episode Date: December 20, 2015

The boys return, this time to talk about everything from a better ending for Mockingjay to why Sloths are getting stoned in Australia. You know, very important stuff.

Hello everybody, it's time for Cox and Grendor in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4 hour recording studio. Recording. Wake your ass up, it's Cox and Grendor in the morning. It's Cox and Grendor in the morning. Hello everybody, welcome back to Cox and Grendor in the morning! Up and up, up and up, we're going in the morning! Hello everybody, welcome back to Cox and Grendor in the morning.

May the... Cox be with you. That's, uh, look, that's what I'm hoping. May the Cox binds you, the Cox is in you and all around you. You can feel its presence. I'm hoping. Or else that's a problem for me. Oh my goodness, guys. Today's episode, before we get to our usual news and stuff,

we're going to talk about the movies that have come out recently. More importantly, one big movie. I would say one of the biggest blockbusters of the year. The one that just came out. Yep. Of course, I'm talking about Mockingjay. I thought you one of the biggest blockbusters of the year. The one that just came out. Yep. Of course, I'm talking about Mockingjay. I thought you were talking about Divergent. Ah, well, you know, we can talk about the trailer.

Did we ever talk about the trailer? Holy moly. I don't know if we did. Yeah, we did. Holy moly. We did. Every time I see that thing, I'm like, what the hell is going on? I remember watching it and then just being like, I feel like that was like five different movies thrown into one.

I can't. Yeah, I saw the trailer the other day. So I went and saw both the new James Bond, Spectre, and Mockingjay Part 2. Yeah. Right off the top. The trailers for those movies, I forgot. Usually when I go to the movies movies like actual to the theater it's all for like crazy sci-fi stuff yeah everything else i just watch at home because you want to

see those big like action movies in the theater right yeah but i forgot what like teeny drama like action movies their trailers are yeah every trailer for mocking jay i felt like i was too old to be in the room I was like oh my god And every trailer for Bond was like a horror movie Here's the thing I saw Bond I think like maybe on the last weekend It was like out in theaters

I was the only one in the theater All the trailers were horror movies I was uncomfortable I was just like uh hello I was in the middle of the theater by myself A giant theater. Nobody else there. And they're like, this song's called

the, or this song. This one's called. It's a pain in the neck. Like, I feel like I'm not in the right place. I don't think I'm one of the. No, it was a trailer for the movie called like The Boy or something like that. The premise was a girl goes to babysit the child of this old couple, but the child turns out to be a doll.

And, of course, the doll comes to life and, like, tries to kill him. Yeah. It always happens. That's, like, the biggest trope thing. And they have a list, like, don't look at him or don't look away from him or some weird thing. Or, like, be sure to feed him. Be sure to, like, don't look away from him or some weird thing. Be sure to feed him. Be sure to, like, don't take a shower like crazy shit. Crazy shit.

Don't take a shower with a knife on the counter or he'll use it. Don't put this toaster oven next to your bath or else he'll push it in. Where else am I going to put it? How else am I supposed to make toast? Oh, my God. What was that one? Okay, so last night at Star Wars I was seeing all the movie trailers, right?

Did you see the trailer for like the fifth sign? Yes What is it called? I love Chloe, Zoe What the hell is that girl's name? Yeah, whatever her name is Whatever, you know, I love her I think she's a real sweetheart

I like the movie she's in But that movie looks stupid. Yeah, it looks really dumb. Like, don't you get it? The first wave was the aliens turned off the power. And the second wave was the aliens, they flooded the earth. And then the third wave is like an earthquake. And the fourth wave was like a plague. And now the fifth wave is the invasion.

It's like like who cares even like no like big like climax scene or she's like i'm gonna shoot the guy she's like why didn't you shoot me he's like because you would have shot me already yeah you would have shot me already if you were them great yeah no this looks it's basically my brother and or boyfriend i can't remember which is missing and i have to go save him. Or dad. She's saving someone. I think it was her brother. She's like, I'll do whatever it takes.

Even if it means taking on an alien invasion. She's going to get here any time now. I couldn't be bothered. Yeah, I saw that trailer too. So yeah, if you're wondering, are you guys going to talk about Star Wars? The answer is no. We don't want you to say, you spoiled everything. We're not even going to mention it.

Yeah. We're not even going to say if we liked it or not we're just gonna zip up and talk about these other movies cuz now no one cares if we spoil those yeah and then we'll talk about it in the future yeah in a future episode we'll bring it up so uh wow bond I mean all right can I just say at the top both specter and mockingjay I keep forgetting the name of it like I just

I'm trying to put it out of my mind both those movies I did not like in the end well I didn't like them I alright they weren't awful it was a solid like two and a half out of five stars alright like they weren't terrible but okay Spectre

was for the first hour, super dope. It's like Bond is just back in action, and he's flying around and kicking the shit out of, like, dudes in Mexico, and it's this crazy thing, and he's banging Monica Belushi, and it's crazy. It's

great. Yeah. And then the bad guys show up, and you're like, oh my god, they know everything about him. They're a super secret underground organization. It's freaking Spectre from, like, the days of old. Oh, my God, that's Blofeld. Like, this is crazy. This is going to be the coolest thing ever. They know everything about Bond.

They're like his nemesises. And then it's like, yes, but the main bad guy is also James Bond's brother. And more importantly, James Bond murders all of them. It would be like if they introduced a storyline. I'm trying to think of another movie that would be equivalent. Like if they introduced a storyline where the main character took on this collective of evil, right? Yeah. And they're supposed to be the biggest, baddest, nastiest guys ever.

But he defeats them instantly. Like there is no challenge. He defeats everyone handedly. There is... Even when you think, oh, the bad guy may escape, in the end, Bond's like, nope. Got him. It's like, wait a minute.

This is supposed to be the evil organization that ruined Bond's life. It's the one that killed the first woman he loved, that killed M, that killed everyone. Everyone. All the bad that killed the first woman he loved, that killed M, that killed everyone. Everyone. All the bad guys in the movies with Daniel Craig are connected to them. Everything about his life has led to this point to fight these guys.

And they're supposed to be the most awesome evil organization ever. Unbeatable. They control governments. They are super powerful. And Bond in a movie destroys them all. It's like, what up, haters? I'm James Bond. I feel like a lot of movies have that, like suffer from that same thing.

Yeah, it's one of those things where you made these guys seem so bad and evil, then when you finally meet them, they're kind of awful. They're really bad at what they do. They're not good at all. No wonder Bond is a drunk, womanizing lout. No wonder he kicked their asses. They weren't that hard to beat. And he has that commercial where he surfs around.

That's true. Seen that like 40 times. The end of the movie has... So I was like, all right, well, I can get over 90% of this. I like the idea that Bond's number one villain from the old movies, like the villain of villains for Bond is back. This will be so cool. And the setup for the very end, which is like Blofeld convinces

or gets Bond to go back to the old MI6, which is destroyed. They're going to demolitionize it, whatever the demolition. Demolitionize it. That sounds like a great, to demolitionize it, whatever the demolish it. Demolitionize it. That sounds like a great, the demolitionizer. So he goes there and Bond's name is now written on the wall of all the dead people and there are all these arrows and it points him down to the basement and there are all these wires and all the wires are connected to all the different people that has ever been in his life.

And he finally gets to Blofeld and he's behind glass and Bond can't get him. And Blofeld's like, you have three minutes, Mr. Bond. And it's like, oh, this is crazy. He's like, but that girl you're banging, she's somewhere in this building too. So either you save yourself or you find her and you die together. And I was like, oh, it's such a Bond villain thing to do. I was like, this is great. You're redeeming yourself, game.

Game. I play too many video games. You're redeeming yourself, movie. And all of a sudden, out of nowhere, it proceeds to do movie logic. Where Bond runs through a giant building. And manages to find his girlfriend in M's office with a minute left. He went from the basement to the top floor, I would assume, in two minutes. basement to the top floor, I would assume,

in two minutes. And then even crazier, Blofeld flies up in a helicopter to watch him die. And Bonnet and this girl stop, stare him down, as time is ticking, and then they jump off the top floor onto a net, roll off, and then manage to get to

an underground waterway, jump on a boat, get out as it explodes. All in like a minute. In a minute. And then, and then to make it even crazier, Blofeld's like, let's get out of here.

They start flying away in the helicopter. Bond just has his pistol. Fires once. Fires twice. Missing. Just missing. I was like,

oh, wouldn't it be so cool if this is the guy who got away? Like he couldn't catch him and he keeps shooting and all he has is his pistol and it's like, it's pointless.

You can't shoot down a helicopter with a pistol. A helicopter flying away at a much higher rate of speed than you on a boat in water. Yeah. Last shot hits the helicopter. Destroys the rotor. The helicopter crashes on the bridge. Blofeld, like, crawls out.

He's all cut up and bloody. And Bond manages to park the boat, get up up onto the bridge before both the mi6 agents that are working with him and the police get there and then he he holds the gun to the dude's head and it does that bridge thing where it's like on one side of the bridge is the woman he loves and on the other side of the bridge is mi6 which side will he choose and he like puts his gun away he's like i ain't even gonna it. And he leaves with the lady. And then M and everyone arrests Blofeld. And it's like, that's the end of the movie.

What? It is so garbage. I was like, you can't do that. I think it might be the last Daniel Craig James Bond. Which, if that's the case, what an awful ending. What a terrible ending to a franchise. I was done. I walked out of there like, I feel completely ripped off. He beat

the bad guy with a pistol to a helicopter. He shot down a helicopter with a pistol. One shot. Hit it. And he nailed it. I mean, now you can understand why nobody else was there. And why there was a band playing. And why it was a video game instead of a movie yeah i was

playing a video game this actually took place at home and it was uncharted 4 oh man i knew it all along the plot twists this this isn't even bought directed by m night shamalan holy crap so i and then a movie we can talk about mocking jay yeah yeah yeah the hunger games oh crendor i don't even know where to start with this movie first off it shouldn't have been split into two parts let's be very clear about that yeah part one nothing happened part two a lot of stuff happened but for no reason yeah that's like what I said. It's like if they were to split the Return of the King into two parts. And the first part is them just preparing for the war. And you're like, all right, that was kind of cool, I guess. And the second part is just all the war.

Yeah, but because they have to make it a two-hour movie, they have to pad the war with other stuff. Yeah. So it's like, oh, no, the ringwraiths have broken into the city. Oh, no, we have to go into the sewers to get behind the ringwraiths. Oh, in the sewers, though, there's monsters. We got to fight. Oh, now we're fighting the ringwraiths. Like, oh, my God.

I started doing, like, the whole thing we did with Divergent where I started, like, calling stuff. I was like, oh, yeah, that guy's dead. Okay. Like, they introduced the twins. I'm like, oh, one twin's dead. I already know that for a fact. When they introduced all those extra characters, I was like, they're all dead. I was like, all those new characters they have introduced for this movie, they're cannon fodder.

They're the red shirts. Yeah. Yeah, they're long gone. Let's see. So let's start at the beginning. Okay. For those who haven't seen Mockingjay, I'm sure you have. But Mockingjay Part 2 takes place where Mockingjay Part 1 left off, where Katniss's boyfriend,

Yeah. Peter Malak, one of her boyfriends, loses his mind and tries to kill her. Mm-hmm. And so then she goes to her other boyfriend For comfort Which is already weird But he's like I know you love him And she's like he tried to kill me He's like yeah but you'll never look at me the same way you looked at him

It's like what is happening right now I don't know And so then they decide like this is our last chance We've got to go take the capital And so they do this whole bit about them going to the Capitol after they take District 2. District 2 is like the mining district. Yeah. And it's basically West Virginia.

It is. Like, we ain't even going to leave, man. Somehow Katniss single-handedly convinces everyone to leave the Capitol. Yeah. And then that one person shoots her. Yeah. But she totally lives. She's totally fine because she has armor on.

But they use the video as propaganda and stuff. and like shoots her. Yeah, but she totally lives. She's totally fine because she has armor on. Yeah. But they use the video as like propaganda and stuff. It's the same premise as Mockingjay Part 1 where it's all like a propaganda movie, like a propaganda war, except that's the first

maybe 30 minutes of this movie. And then the last hour is the battle at the capital. Yeah. So it's like Return of the Jedi where it's 30 minutes of Jabba's palace and then an hour on Endor. And it's like pew, pew Jedi, where it's 30 minutes of Jabba's palace and then an hour on Endor. And it's like, except this, they include about 50 new characters you don't know.

Yeah. And of course they all die. And then characters you do know, when they're like, I want to join in on this mission, you're like, oh, they're all dead too. Yeah. So I'm trying to remember their names. The one guy who used to bang people for secrets in the Capitol, whatever his name was, he married Annie. I remember her name.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. He married Annie, and then he's like, I'm coming with you. And the minute I was like, okay, they got married, he's the one guy who we know. Oh, yeah. He's totally dead. As soon as he got married, I was like, that's his peak happiness. It's all downhill from here. Yeah, as soon as he got married, I'm like, oh, yeah, He's totally dead. I was like, oh, that guy's dead. As soon as he got married, I was like, that's his peak happiness. It's all downhill from here.

Yeah. As soon as he got married, I'm like, oh, yeah, that guy's dead. Yep. And then they introduced some twins, a, like, lady sergeant, and then some other dude. And I was like, or maybe two other guys. Like, one was like the best sniper we have. And I was like, he's dead. All these guys, guys who I dealt with, they're all dead.

Yeah. And then Katniss's, like, he's dead All these guys Guys who I'd done They're all dead Yeah And then Katniss' like Second boyfriend goes And then they're like Oh yeah, now Peter's Gonna go with you too What?

He's insane He's an insane person I know They're just like But he's good for the Propaganda stuff Yeah, and then of course In the beginning

They introduce the concept Of like A cluster bomb That also acts As a secondary bomb like uh her boyfriend her second boyfriend's like yeah so i i had this crazy idea about this bomb that like looks like we're dropping in care packages but then it blows up and then when people go to help those other people it blows up again yeah and i was like oh that's to come back in the end. People are going to die to that in the end. Yeah. Oh, yeah. General Black guy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, oh, my God. Then the guy from, I'm trying to remember what the show was, Jailbreak or Prison Break, is in this movie again for like three seconds before he's murdered. Before President Snow just kills him for no reason. He's like, you're an idiot. And he kills him. Everyone dies.

Like, literally just, they're killing everyone Off in this movie Yeah And then proceeds A one hour Movie of them Running through the capital Like It's a poorly made

War movie basically Yeah If you If you've seen those movies Like Enemies at the Gate Or like all those movies Where it's a war movie In a city

It's a poorly made Version of that There's Basically There's a really cool Fight happening somewhere else In the city the entire time And you hear it but we're following eight people who are going through the background yeah i'm still under the impression that this girl wrote the hunger games

with no intention of ever having like this type of ending and then it got really popular and they're like you got to finish the thing and she's like okay i'll try i thought apparently in the books katniss has like a really sad ending like i don't think'll try i thought apparently in the books katniss has like a really sad ending like i don't think she ends up with anybody in the books as far as i'm aware i could be wrong no i thought she still ends up with him and i thought i thought she like had like a really crappy ending in the books and everyone was mad about that no i think it was the same ending as just people were just no man i'm telling all right i'm looking this up i'm looking this up because i don't think that's what happens in the books.

I know that happy ending thing where it's her holding a baby and stuff. That did not happen. I could have sworn it was in the books, though. Could have sworn it. All right. So part two, part three. She realized Snow was telling the truth about coin. All right.

So Pollux, our son of the districts, and he gives birth to Finnick's son. Peter returns months after Katniss and Haymitch arrive, having recovered immensely from his brainwashing. Finally, Katniss understands that falling in love with Peter was inevitable. Oh, you were right. As he's always represented to her the promise of a better future, rather than the destruction she now associates with Gale, she sees that she did not need Gale's fire as she already had it in herself. She needed Peta, who symbolized hope.

She needed to survive. Together with Haymitch, they create a book filled with the stories of previous tributes and others who died in the war, so they will never be forgotten. At the end, Katniss and Peta play a game of real or not real. Peta asks Katniss, you love me, real or not real? Katniss replies, without hesitation, real. On the epilogue, Katniss is speaking as an adult more than 50 years later.

She and Peeta grow together. It is not indicated if they are married, but they do have two children. The Hound Games are over, but she dreads the day her children will be shattered by the lives of her whatever. All right, never mind. It of her whatever. All right. Never mind. It was. Yeah. All right.

Yeah. I thought so. Because I heard people being like, well, they were just mad. They're like, that's how it ends. That's it. Oh, I guess people who were mad were mad about the fact that she didn't end up with the other guy. It's probably one of those Twilight things where it's like, oh, we like the other guy

though. Yeah. Like, Peeta tried to kill her and she ended up with Peeta? Why you go team Peeta? Because Peeta's so good. I love bread. I'm team Gero. Team Gero.

Cover me in that sauce. Put some meat on me. Peeta, I want to put meat on peanut and eat him up. Give me some lettuce and tomato and maybe a cucumber sauce. Let's eat him up. I didn't know we were talking about that. Oh, yeah. There was one point.

They see this tiger lady, right? Oh, my God. Everyone was mad because they're like, it didn't do her justice. I'm like, do her justice? It's a weird tiger lady. What did you want? Yeah, then she's like, I'm perched. No, change.

I was like, wait, okay. So what happened here? How did she get like, was he like, you're going to be a tiger now? And she's like, no. Well, she apparently was in the first movie, I guess, maybe. Was she? Because everyone was like, oh, I remember. I think Katniss was like, I remember you.

You helped style my hair. Was she a tiger then? Maybe she was in the first movie. I don't know. I have no clue. I'm curious. This movie had so many callbacks to things I don't remember. Yeah.

There were so many moments where I was like, I feel like I should know what that means, but I don't. I don't have a clue. Yeah, because I was like, wait, I think I remember, but I don't. And was she a tiger? Is she just a tiger now? She might have been a tiger person at the beginning, but then, because she's like, I hate President Snow because he changed me. It's like, from what to what? Like, were you a tiger before, and now you're mad that you, like, don't have as cool of tiger clothes?

Like, what's the matter with you? I used to look like I was from L.A., and now I just look like a tiger before and now you're mad that you don't have as cool of tiger clothes? What's the matter with you? I used to look like I was from LA and now I just look like a tiger. I always wanted to be a cat but not a tiger. I want to be a house cat. They're just like, can you just hide us? That's why we're here. She's like, sure, yeah, okay. And then Katniss goes in by herself.

So basically, we're skipping over the fact that they go into the city, and because it's called the Hunger Games, they have to make the city into a Hunger Games trap area. Yeah. That's really, why have soldiers fight when you can just build traps and place machine guns in walls and shit? Which makes no sense. They literally had to build machine guns into walls. They had days to tear down buildings and then replace them with machine gun walls.

It's like a game maker thing, right? So is it always there? Did they just set it up? Is the whole world just a game? He's like, get me the game makers. So days before, he was like, I've got this. We're just going to make the entire city into a Hunger Games thing so at least one character can say, welcome to the Hunger Games.

It's like, oh my god. And so yeah, they go through all these traps and of course people get murdered by all of them, which is why they had to have the cannon fodder people. Yeah. course people get murdered by all of them, which is why they had to have the cannon fodder people. Yeah. And then they end up in the sewer. The last few people who make it end up in the sewer because that's apparently the only way they can get 15 blocks or however long it was.

And Snow's like, release the mutants. And so mutants or mutts or whatever the hell they called them, like start, basically it's zombies, start murdering everyone. It gets, the only people who make that alive are like the Game of Thrones chick. They called them like start basically it's zombies start murdering everyone. Yeah. It gets the only people who make out alive are like the Game of Thrones chick. The Game of Thrones, the Game of Thrones chicks like friend who's who's mute. Yeah. Katniss, Gale.

And I think that's it. I think. Oh, and PETA. And PETA. And they make it out and then they end up in Tiger Lady's house. Yeah. And then that night, Peeta and Gale proceed to have the most awkward conversation about, like, she loves you, bro. Yeah.

Yeah, but I tried to kill her. He's like, it's cool, though. She loves you, dude. He's like, no, she loves you. And I guess we'll find out. What? Everyone just got murdered. Everyone's dead.

They do that typical, like, she's asleep or whatever. And she opens her eyes like she's listening. Oh, God. I guess we'll just, like, talk in front of her anyway, then. I guess we'll just talk about this. So then she sneaks off by herself, basically, with Gale. And they go to the... Snow's like, I want all the people to come to my house

because that'll protect you. Which is nonsense. He's like get everyone here. Get everyone to my house. We'll be safe. We'll have a big house party. We got like snacks. President Coyne then, who's like the good guy quote unquote president, uses

Gale's weapon and it blows up, like kills kids and stuff Yeah And then for some reason Katniss' sister is there She's like I'm a medic And runs in to help and then gets blown up And Katniss is like no And so

She's injured and hurt and the next thing you know It's after the invasion And She wakes up. Her sister's dead. Gale probably is the one who came up with the idea to bomb everyone. Yeah. He got trapped.

He got taken, right? No, no, no, no, no. That was Peeta. No, that was Gale. Gale got taken. Taken by who? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's like, Katniss, just kill me.

And then she's like, I can't do it. But here's the thing. That scene, just kill me. And then she's like, I can't do it. But here's the thing. That scene, you're right, he gets taken. Yeah. Everything explodes. She wakes up. He's fine.

Yeah. There is no, like, him getting taken is pointless. Yeah, she could have just shot him. She could have. It would have been amazing if she shot him and killed him, but there's no reason for it. They're like, you killed Gale, but we liberated the capital moments later. That would have been an amazing twist. That would have been so cool. Nope.

So she blames him for killing her sister and everyone else. And she's like, I can't even look at you, bro. He's like, goodbye, Katniss. It's like, where are you going? And then President Coyne's like, we did it. Now I'm going to create a new Hunger Games and make all the Capitals kids play in it. And Katniss is like, great, do it. Can I just say that, like, when that happened, I'm like, she's going to want another Hunger Games.

I was like, she wants another Hunger Games. She's like, what if we had another Hunger Games? I was like, yes, let's do it. Like, half the people are like, God, no. And the other half are like, yes. And it's like down to Katniss and whatever her friend's name is. Oh, yeah. He's like, I mean, I'm with Katniss on whatever she says.

Hamitch. Yeah, Hamitch. And then she's like, yes, let's do it. Meanwhile, her only plan is like, I'm going to murder you. Yeah. Which is pretty obvious. Here's the thing. President Snow's a dick, but he was an honest dick.

He was like, I told you I'd always tell you the truth. He's like, that lady is just as bad as me, if not worse. And so she kills Coyne with an arrow through the heart, and then the people rip apart President Snow. Yeah. Rip his body apart. As he's laughing. Yeah, he's like.

He's like. Coughing up blood. Coughing up blood. Maybe that movie is crazy. Oh, my God. laughing yeah he's like he's like coughing up blood oh my god like i didn't even understand like there's just a dead woman with an arrow through her as an old crazy man is coughing up blood people are ripping him apart it was a crazy think about that that was a crazy ending it was could i just say when he's like i understand like he was coughing up blood because like he drank the poison yeah yeah so like i was like does he just have like lung cancer or some shit no apparently like he perpetually because he drank all that poison he his mouth like perpetually bleeds yeah i guess that's what they said in the previous movie i just wanted him

to always he's always bleeding. He has open sores in his mouth all the time, which is crazy. I just want them to be like, we got to assassinate President Snow. And then they go to check on him on the death. They're like, President Snow? He's just dead. He's like, what? I'm sleeping.

I like that scene. Here's the thing. I've said from the beginning, President Snow is my favorite character. I love him. I love that character. I was like, that character is really cool i love everything about old kentucky kfc like he's basically the colonel yeah it's like the colonel ran the country i'm gonna tell you. It's like my mama used to.

I just want to tell you about my new, my new Kentucky fried penis. They got, they got gyro meat on them. We, we stole one pita and we smothered him in gyro meat and sauce. Cause that's how we did it back in when I was a child. I just wanted them to be like,

we found President Snow. And they're just like, oh, he's dead. It's like, what? Wait, we're supposed to kill him. How'd he die? It's like, he's old, dude. Oh, no, no, he's super dead. He's dead.

He's just an old guy. It's like, oh, well, I guess we're fine. It's like, yeah, why don't we have another Hunger Games? It's like, what? Yeah, so Katniss murders everybody, and everyone Katniss knows is dead. And then she goes back to the place, back to District 12. Let's say, when she kills the lady with the arrow, right? It's the most, like, set up thing.

Like, they give her the arrow to assassinate President Snow. Put the lady, like, right above him. Oh, and she's like, and she's like, do it, Katniss! Set, like, set yourself free or whatever the hell she's like, do it! She's like, let the arrows of life fly at you. She's like, the arrows of life! It's such a, like, set-up

moment where you're just like, oh, lady, you're dead. Like, you're so dead. Do it, Katniss! I almost thought that's what she wanted. Like, that's how set-up it was. Yeah, it's almost like she's saying please shoot me Yeah She should have just been like Katniss Kill me instead

Is roughly what she was saying Although I would have enjoyed the Hunger Games With all the capital kids Here's the thing I would have been amazing But it's really just the Hunger Games where they leave them in a forest With no food We don't want you to die. We just want you to starve for a little bit.

They're all going to die. They're all really hungry. And they're playing Parcheesi. Send them in clue. So, yeah, she gets captured and then immediately set free. Gets captured and then immediately set free. And then she ends up going back to District 12, which was destroyed as far as I'm aware. Yeah.

Filled with thousands of skulls of the dead. Yeah, thousands. She goes back and just, this is where I'm going to live now. She decides to live there. Finds the cat. And finds her cat, yells at her cat, throws stuff at the cat, and then hugs the cat. It's all in one scene. And the cat's like, just feed me, please.

And then Peeta and Hamish come back, and they all live there forever, I guess. Yeah. And apparently, Hamish is now banging the one lady with the crazy hair. Of course. And yeah, I guess. And then it ends with an epilogue Of them just It's now the future and we have kids And everything's okay

But I'm really sorry that my Actions cause people to die Yeah And I'll never be the same and hopefully I can tell my kids one day The end and I was like that was not a good ending That wasn't a good movie Like that was It felt the way

watching The Hobbit felt. This is a cool story, but this should have been the two movies they promised. There's no reason for a third movie. There's definitely no reason for 90% of this extra stuff. Just unnecessary. That's how I felt too. Although, they could have redeemed themselves if they just would have

ended it with President Snow laughing and getting attacked. I would have been if they just would have ended it with President Snow laughing and getting attacked. Oh my god. That would have been amazing. That would have been – imagine if that was – if not only the writer, this little girl, if not only the writer had the balls to make this happen, but the end of the movie was Katniss. It's about just politics in general, about democracy and about dictatorships and about power, right? And how she shoots Snow, or shoots Coin, and she falls over dead. So she's laying there dead in the Capitol.

President Snow's laughing and cackling blood as people rip him apart. And then Katniss is arrested. And that's literally how the movie ends. Oh, shit. them apart and then Katniss is arrested and that's literally how the movie ends. Oh shit. Like Katniss being taken away, being taken away as like she did all this stuff

and she doesn't end up with anyone. She ends up in jail and dead. They kill her. Yeah. They kill Katniss. They don't even explain it. They just kill Katniss. Yeah. And everyone's dead. Everyone dies in order to make this happen. This is this new era. Yeah. And then you get like some like cheesy like crazy end one that's just like this is just the world we live in. Nothing make this happen. This is his new era. Yeah. And then you get some cheesy, crazy end.

He's just like, this is just the world we live in. Nothing will change it. Right? That would have been amazing. That would have been amazing. If Peter did the ending thing, he was like,

I don't know if I can get a 17. Yeah. I always wanted her dead. But now that she's gone, I just want her alive. Like weird. Like weird. Oh my God. That would have been amazing. That would. Like weird. Like weird. Oh, my God.

That would have been amazing. That would have been amazing. That would have been an amazing movie. That would have been the deepest, dopest ending ever. It would have been. That would have been so great. And the last shot is the main square. As people are ripping.

There's blood pouring out from Snow's body in the crowd. And Coen's bleeding on the steps. And Katniss being taken away by the cops. And he's still laughing. Oh, my God. And he's still like oh my god he's still he's like i'd love it that would have been amazing but that's not the way it ended we should just i don't know why we still haven't been hired to write movies because our movies are too good for hollywood they're too real we write on a solid bollywood level yeah every one of our movies will have 15 musical numbers.

At least. Minimum. At least 15. If you don't have an ugly older fat man dancing with a young 20-year-old lady singing about, I don't know, shawarma, you're not doing it right. And gyros. Love, love, love, love, love know, shawarma. You're not doing it right. And gyros. Love, love, love, love, love. I love gyros. Love, love, love, love, love.

I love gyros. I want to put it on my pita. Put it on my pita. Put it on my pita and eat up. You. Perfect. So good. We. So good. We're so good.

That's our movie talk. All right. Well, that's our movie talk. So, Crendor. Yes. I think it's time we went to the traffic. I'm going to show this guy the Crendor. Crendor, how's the traffic out there?

Well, let me tell you, traffic is insane because people are still lined up to see the star wars uh it is unbelievable we got we got uh grant gangl we got major lacco we got christopher milton we got antonette vanderhirk we got dalton farmer we got kieran watson we got james horton we got alex mackenheimer oh they're all lined up, dude. I don't know how I know their names. It just shows up on the chopper copter. I didn't build this thing. So if you're heading down the I-8452, you're going to have to take the back routes. But beware, there is a monster attacking that back road.

So you're going to have to bring some supplies if you want to get through. Yeah. All right, Crandor. I like that there's a person named Major Wacko. Is that what you said? Hold on. Major Wacko. No, Major Lacko.

Major Wacko? Major Lacko. Major Wacko? Yeah, Major Wacko. Sounds like a Guy Hero villain. Call me Major Wacko. Major Wacko. Sounds like a Guy Hero villain. Call me Major Wacko. Major Wacko. I was in the military until I killed President Coy and President Snow.

And then I became Major Wacko. Dude, that guy's a Major Wacko. Oh, no, Major Wacko's Katniss Everding. Oh, shit. Right? That's our story. Mocking Jay Part 3. Major Wacko's Revenge.

And then she says, like, Welcome to the 77th Annual Hunger Games. And then she hunts people in a forest. Oh, my God. That would be the best movie. Katniss just hunts and murders people. Like, she just, like, ropes down next to a person. She's like, boo.

And then slits his throat. Oh, my God. I want want that I want that movie so badly Katniss is Rambo and just kills people Some guy's just like hiding in the corner Like rocking back and forth and then she like shows up Behind him with an arrow right behind his head And she's like hey there And just like shoots it and the arrow just goes right through

His head and like comes out the other side No there's a guy Who is like He's like where are like, he's like, where are you? And he's in a cabin, right? And he's up against the wall. He's like, where are you? And she's like, I'm right here. And appears from the shadows.

And he's like, oh my god, what are you going to do, kill me? And she's like, no, you're already dead. And there's an arrow in him already. He just didn't notice. He looks down. He's like, oh, and falls over dead. It would be an amazing movie. I want to see a movie where Katniss is a stone cold killer.

It's called like Katniss Everdeen, The Reckoning. Revengeance. She is like her sister. She hunts Gale. Oh, she's hunting Gale. Oh, my God. Her PTSD kicks in. Oh, my God. Her PTSD kicks in. Oh, my God.

That would be amazing. And that's what takes place between. That's why she's like, I don't know if I can ever tell my kids what I've done. Because what she did took place between that and the last movie. And it's her just hunting down and killing everyone. That's why she and Peeta are alone in the middle of the woods. Because every other human on Earth is dead. She's like, we'll start over. Me and Peeta are alone in the middle of the woods because every other human on Earth is dead. She's like, we'll start over.

Me and Peeta will remake mankind. It kills everyone. With the same, with one arrow. She uses it. She pulls it out and keeps using it over and over and over again. She names the arrow. I call him Mr. Piercy. Mr. Piercy here.

She, like, draws a face on him and everything. She talks to him. What are you doing, Katniss? We're going to murder people today? Oh, Mr. Piercy. You know me. I don't want to do this anymore, Mr. Piercy. Well, do it.

You got to keep doing it until everyone's gone. You got to end this suffering, Katniss. Life is suffering. Piercy. Well, too bad! You gotta keep doing it until everyone's gone. You gotta end their suffering, Katniss! Life is suffering! Murder them all! Oh no, it's Wacko. Wacko's out for us, but Wacko's the good guy.

He's trying to save everyone. Wacko's peed on, he's trying to stop her. Oh my god. We just made a much better movie. We God. We just made a much better movie. We did. We just made a much better movie. Major Wacko. Major Wacko.

They used to call me PETA. But I was brainwashed. Thought I was a Euro for a while. I tasted so good. I ate my hand. President Stowe used to come up with his sauce. Make me parade around the Capitol in a big sauce bucket. They used to throw meat on me.

Old ladies would pay to eat it off. It was awful. It was awful. But great at the same time. Yep. That's the traffic report. All right. Let's go to sports. I mean weather. Weather. the traffic report. All right, let's go over to sports. I mean weather.

Weather. Weather. Let's activate the WAP Meister. WAP being activated. 9, 4, 2, 5, 8. Sacramento, California. Wow, what's going on? Sack, Sacktown.

Sacktown, Sacramento, California. 9, 4, 2,5-8, 55 degrees. Feels like 55 degrees today. 57 degrees tonight. 44 degrees rain. Wait, wait, wait, it can't be 55 degrees feels like 55 degrees today. 57 degrees. Whoopie.

Tonight, 44 degrees. Rain, 100%. South-southeast winds, 9 miles per hour. Saturday, Star Wars spoilers. No! Damn it, Woppy. I swear. Woppy!

He almost malfunctioned. Accessing internet archives. No! I'm going to have to tweak him a bit so uh yeah that's the weather sports sports sports is uh we got some ed sport sports news as usual um wife of golfer taken out by lebron in hustle for loose ball what so uh fans who sit courtside at nba games eventually encounter the possibility of the very large athlete will fall on top of them uh ellie day the wife i like where this is going ellie day the wife of professional golfer and pga championship winner jason day discovered that

uh within several minutes left in regulation lebronron James went out of bounds towards the sideline in pursuit of a loose ball. James was not successful and made contact with Day, sending her falling to the ground. She remained on the ground for several minutes as medical staff attended and spoke to her before she was carried off on a stretcher. Oh, shit. Take a look at the incident here. Oh, link me that. All right. I'm going to link this one. Oh, we got to see this. Oh, my goodness. Oh, I'll link me that all right. I'll link this one. Oh, we gotta see this

Oh my goodness Shit dude. Let's see let's go all right. There's a video. It's a commercial. Oh not oh my god I I have a commercial you have a video. Yeah, I got a video. Oh my god. He like electricity He like I can't see it. I have electricity. I have an electricity commercial Electricity who advertises it's like because turning on the lights isn't just as simple as flipping a switch. Yeah. No it I'm pretty sure it is All right, here we go LeBron. Yeah, okay West for has it LeBron's going for it. Oh, right into her. Here we go.

Here we go. Oh, look at her face. She's like, ah! Oh, my God. That's like an elbow to the face. Yeah, that's like an NFL shot. Some basketball player with a mustache and crazy hair running off. Wow. And then LeBron jumps back in.

Like, I ain't got time for this. I gotta get back in there, guys. I gotta get back in the game. He just... Actually, he hits her with his butt. Yeah, he ass to the face. He ass to the face is hurt. The best part is there's a woman with black hair behind them.

Just like, oh! Rewind that video. Look at the woman with black hair. She's like, I ain't got time for this. Oh, wait a minute. There's two things in this. All right, guys, go look this video up. You can watch along with us.

At the very end of this video, there is. So LeBron hits this girl and it goes slow motion replay. There are three people you need to watch. One woman in black. She's like, oh, boy. You know, that's what she's like. Look at this woman. She's like, oh, no.

And her husband or someone's just like staring. Her husband next to her doesn't even care. He's watching the game. Yeah. He has not looked down once. And then the guy next to them in the blue shirt with like the orange lettering. Yeah. He's like. She got what was coming at it.

Yeah. The reaction is there's The reactions There's three totally different reactions The dude does not even Alright the dude It's yeah It's definitely her husband Yeah

Does not look down Once Yeah Not once He's just like staring Does not look down Once He doesn't care that anything

Just happened near him He's just like oh Does not look down Once Oh I think we're coming back. It's like, well. Also, let's take a moment to look at

the photo of this couple who went to this thing. Right. Hey, J.D. Golf, Air Force, Air 4-1 hashtag Cav whatever. Whatever this photo is. Yeah. I feel like the angle's wrong Because it looks like both

Everyone in that photo looks like they have a crazy jaw It does It looks like they have a super They look like when someone does a fake British guy They're like They all have this giant jaw Yeah it's just like No wonder they're all hitting the face with his ass

Their jaw was on the court Their jawline on the court. Their jawline tripped LeBron. It's not LeBron's fault. These giant jaws over here attacked him. Look at that lady in the background in the bottom left. She's just like, oh, I wish I had that jaws.

Oh, my God. All right, well. So yeah, that happened. That happened. And they said, wait, let's see, what happened to her? Is she like alive?

Oh my god, LeBron's ass kills woman. Golfer left mourning. Smith chased Dan and apparently become friends and the Cavs guard can be seen checking in on him to make sure his wife was okay.

The couple also posed for photos. Wait, so... They're fine. Yeah, they're fine. She got hit with LeBron's ass. LeBron is a giant ass. She's fine. She said, wow, it's official.

More messages from getting plowed over by LeBron than Jason winning a major. Ha! First of all, I'm okay. I'm incredibly sore and exhausted being tackled by that large man i would compare it to a minor car accident my head and neck hit pretty hard so it's really scary my whole body feels like i was hit by a truck second it was so fast i didn't remember until 2 a.m seeing the ball come toward me

it was a blur it's crazy that think wait to the crazies that think jason should have protected me if he had time to react so would i have also i would not have liked both dudes wait second i would not have liked wait just it just cuts off i would not like both i'm not like both oh landing on me lebron is huge and had such momentum he could not have stopped. Third, people are saying it's money grab or some crap, which is obviously absurd. Much like attending a golf event, a risk in getting hit with a ball, sitting on the court side, you risk getting run into. I love that she's trying to associate all of this with golf. Like, if it's just like a golf event, first off, no, it's much more exciting.

Second off, she's like, when my husband wins the majors I don't even get this many messages Yeah, because it's golf No one gives a shit, lady Nobody cares My husband's really important And I married him because of his importance And no one addresses how important he is

It kind of aggravates me I get hit in the head by a guy's butt And everyone cares Yeah, because one, it's hilarious She keeps mentioning how huge they are too Like, these are huge men I feel like there's a tinge of racism there The way she keeps describing the situation

Yeah I'm just saying In a sport played by primarily white males Yeah Even though her husband isn't white I'm going to say she doesn't care a sport played by primarily white males. Golf's a, yeah. Even though her husband isn't white, I'm going to say she doesn't care because golf is white. And so she's like, close enough.

Yeah. You either have to be white or rich. Basically, this poor woman that got hit by LeBron's butt we're calling a racist. Why? Because we can. Because we can do that. Don't ask us to, don't question that.

Don't ask us to clarify it. We just think it's funny that that's the scenario. Yeah. And that's sports. All right. Crendo, what's our big news story of the day? All right. Big news story of the day.

I found a couple. There's, of course, box office Star Wars The Force Awakens. We can't talk about it. We can't talk about it. All right. I'll save that for later uh we got stoner sloth campaign is peak anti-marijuana absurdity is this even for real i mean how stoned are you it might not be all right uh this is either the worst anti-drug campaign we've seen or the best stoner

sloth is a series of videos purportedly meant to illustrate the horrors of marijuana to impressionable teens the videos star people in large sloth costumes struggling through various life events due to how high they are at At the end of each ad. After the featured sloth has had trouble in class. Or embarrassed itself at dinner. The tagline. You're worse on weed. Is plastered across the screen.

The whole thing is reportedly the work of Australia's. New South Wales Department of Premier and Cabinet. The videos are not a joke. The department reportedly confirmed. To Australian media outlet. The campaign is designed to appeal to and be shareable among teenagers who are the most vulnerable to cannabis use. I want to know who, like what ad agency was like, here's the pitch. It's sloths that are high.

And that's what the kids are like. They're like going to end up like me if they smoke the weed. Oh my god. Kids, you might as well get on it. You can make some money on YouTube. Look at this video. It's a minute long. Alright, I need to see this.

Stoner Sloth. I want to see what they made the sloths look like. Oh my god. There's someone in class who literally calls her a stoner sloth. Yeah. Like they're bullying her. What is happening? Yeah.

She's losing her mind. This is definitely not someone who's high. They don't even talk. They just make weird noises. He's just normal me. They're like Jason the Salt. The salad? He's passing a salad.

First off, it's an animal. He doesn't understand English. Second off, he doesn't have hands. He's got little claws. Then the sister's just like stoner sloth all right first off what kid gets super stoned and then goes to hang out with his parents i don't know what do you think these are so these courses are so weird. It's just, all right, people who are listening are like, what the hell are they talking about? So let me describe it to you. There's a party, and at this party is this girl talking about some stupid story, and then the guy who likes this girl going like, that's so funny. What do you think, Dave?

Cut to Dave, who is a sloth in a t-shirt and jeans going, What do you think, Dave? Cut to Dave, who is a sloth in a t-shirt and jeans going, like, feeling himself up like a weird, awkward, like, and that's the commercial. And they're like, stoner sloth. You're worse on weed. Just do a YouTube stoner sloth compilation. Never have I seen a high person that's been like,

I want to know what kind of weed they got in Australia. That shit will knock you out. Sloth Compilation Never Have I Seen a high Person that's Been like Guy Right Now dude I want with This Sloth Smoking I want I I guarantee There's Now a strain of weed called stoner slop. Oh, no, no. Give me that good stoner slop. This shit's going to get you crazy, dude. This will make you become a slop, man. This will turn you into a slop. She's so good, man. I'll turn you into a sloth.

You'll just sit around going... I'm pretty sure sloths don't even do that. They're not like... Oh, my God. Have you ever seen the sloths have sex video? No. Pretty sure like slots don't even do that My god, have you ever seen the slots have sex video? No, they literally do it in five seconds. They're just like and here they go the sloths. He's just like He's like hey, they're done Hold on there's there's a, all right. Hold on.

There's, there's a screaming baby sloth remix compilation. I want to hear what they sound like. Oh God. This is amazing. All right. So guys listening right now, stop listening to this podcast. Go look up screaming baby sloth remix compilation.

Baby sloths are amazing. So baby sloths do sound like... Oh my god, this is amazing. Right? Here's the thing, the baby sloth is super interactive. Yeah, he's super interactive. He's moving and dancing and shaking. He's having a good time.

Stoner sloth. So now that we know that sloths actually make noise, besides, we know sloths just lay there and stuff, but this sloth's moving around having a good time. Yeah. So are they saying in these ads that these were already sloths, and now they're just stoners? I think.

I don't know. Think about this for a minute. Think about this for a minute. Yeah, because, I mean, they're high. Is that, so is there a sloth at that school? And they're just making fun of that sloth? They're just bullying the sloth. They're just bullying, that family adopted a sloth and treated him like shit. Those people invited that sloth to the party and then they made fun of him.

And he's probably just getting high to forget about all the shit he's got to put up with. Oh my god. Yeah, it's his shitty life. That girl just wanted to go to school, get an education. Her family lives out in the jungle. She's like, I want to get an education. They're like, stoner sloth. She's like, I take drugs because you guys make fun of me.

Stoner sloth. Well, we cracked that wide open. We did. We definitely did. All right, I got to save cracked that wide open. We did. We definitely did. Alright, I gotta save this for next time. Alright, well I guess that's... We talked about Star Wars. Remember to bring up the R2-D2 soup kid.

I will do that. Okay, good. Alright, thank you guys for watching, listening, whatever you're doing right now, and as always, to be continued.