Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 115 - New Years

Episode Date: January 2, 2016

Jesse and Crendor return for the new year, and talk about the greatest story of 2015. Also they mention some Star Wars stuff, so careful on dem spoilers! And finally, they wrap up with Crendor riding a horse.

Hello everybody, it's time for Cox and Crendog! Cox and Crendog in the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studio. Recorded! Wake your ass up! It's Cox and Crendog in the morning! Cox and Crendor in the morning! Coo-poo-poo-poo-poo-poo! We're going to the morning!

Hello, everybody! Welcome to Cox and Crandor in the new year! It's the new year, but it's not the new year yet right now because we're recording it. It is! Some places it is! Well, that's like where it's high noon, you know? What? The Wild West? The high noon, you know? What? No! I don't... What? No! Like, okay. You know what the Wild West the high noon, you know, what no Like okay, he's like it's high noon somewhere right is that he says in that video game

But is it is it who what there's it's five o'clock somewhere when you're talking about drinking It's high noon somewhere high noon is when they have gunfights Well, oh is that what it means what do you what do you what did you think it meant what did you think high noon was in reference to high noon is when like the sun is up

at its highest peak so it's just noon yeah but it's high noon cause it's or it's like stoner sloth noon. Pass the salt, man. Pass the salad. It's crazy that you mention high noon and cowboys because I have.

So what was sent to me was a thing called QB. Right. Now QB is a like under the desk-the-desk elliptical machine. What? It's the craziest. I mean, that's what it is. So it's, like, in my office now, and I can just, like, put my feet on it and go, like, and you're on an elliptical, right?

Which is so weird. But it's the laziest thing I've ever done. I guess it's supposed to be, like, for people who. Yeah. And how you're not supposed to sit a lot. But the thing is, I'm still sitting, moving my legs. So it's like, all I'm doing is, I will have the most fit calves there ever were. Like, my calves are just going to be so fit right now. But at the same time, I'm not moving anything else on my body. It's the weirdest.

Like, why does this exist anyway? I just searched QB, and it's this purple girl, and she's got like B parts. No, it's C-U-B-I-I. Oh. QB. Oh, whoa. Right? And it's really cool, and it

functions well and stuff, but I'm like, I don't know when, I guess I'd use it when videos are rendering, but even then it's like, you're not doing it, you're just moving your legs. Yeah. It's very weird. Couldn't you just like get up and walk around or something? Right?

It's the same thing. Yeah, it's like if you're too late, you can't even get up. Anyway, so what I was saying is High Noon, it comes with these stoppers that make it so your – oh, God, my brain just died. Your chair. I forgot the word chair, Crandor. I forgot the word chair. Now you know how to live in my brain. I forgot the word chair.

So anyway, they have these stoppers so your chair doesn't move. But I don't need it because this carpet that I'm on right now, the chair doesn't move anyway. So I've had these things in my hands, and for the last maybe like three hours, I've just been going like. And it's like I'm riding a horse. It sounds like a horse riding. Right? And high noon. High noon.

Whoa. All right. writing right and high noon high noon all right for the uh for the uh what's it called what's that oh man see now i already know what it's like chair are you thinking for the traffic for the traffic report I had that problem. For the traffic report, I'll ride a horse. I'll ride a horse. All right. Keep them in the stable for now. It's not time yet. Okay. We'll save it. We'll save it for the traffic report. Oh, yeah.

What? Oh, yeah. So high noon. I don't even know how I said high noon. I don't know what you're referring to. I don't either. Oh, yeah. Something about New Year't know what you're referring to. I don't either. Oh, yeah. Something about New Year's, I suppose.

Oh, yeah. New Year's. That's right. It said it's high noon somewhere because it's New Year's because it's New Year's somewhere. New Year's is like just another day, really. You know what? New Year's is for people like lovers and young kids. Yeah.

New Year's is like an excuse to go out on the town, get a little liquored up, watch your lady get all dolled up and you look like a suave gentleman. But eventually you just get sort of past that. Yeah. You're like, you know what? We're going to stay home, drink tea, watch something besides the ball drop and... Science Channel. Science Channel? What's on the Science drop and... Science Channel. Science Channel? What's on the Science Channel?

Mythbusters Marathon. Yeah, all right. Nope. I remember when I used to love that show, and at a certain point, I just was like, I don't like Mythbusters anymore. Mythbusters. Mythbusters. I like Mythbusters. I am fan of no Mythbusters. I am a fan of no Mythbusters.

I am a fan of no Mythbusters. Driving Mythbusters. I am no fan of no Mythbusters. That is my

drunk uncle who just at Thanksgiving, I'm like, have you seen the new Mythbusters uncle? I ain't no fan of no mythbusters. They busting all them myths. I don't like that show ever since

they talked about how drinking's bad. I like drinking. I do it all the time. They might be busting myths, but I bust this here bottle over there. Oh, Uncle Steve. Oh, drunk Uncle Steve. I'm going to go sleep in the bathroom.

God damn it, brother. Oh, man. Yeah, I used to love that show, and I don't know why I stopped watching it, but I just don't care anymore. I have that problem with a lot of TV shows. One that I really, really liked when it first came out was The Blacklist.

The Blacklist. Yeah, which was like spies and stuff, and it was cool. It had James Spader being James Spader, so it was great. And then about like half of the season two, I was like, I just don't. I know I missed three episodes, but I don't care to catch up. Yeah. I don't care to catch up, see what's going on. Like, I have that problem with a lot of TV shows.

The only TV shows that I watch regularly anymore, which is weird, are South Park and maybe Last Week Tonight. Other than that, I don't think I watch TV. I just don't watch TV. There's nothing else on TV that I care about. Let's see. I watch HGTV. I don't watch that. I watch sometimes

Food Network just to make fun of it a bit. Here's the thing. If I get home and there's nothing in my life happening i automatically turn on food tv it's like very nice background noise it is it's background noise yeah and then guy fieri comes on he's like welcome to triple d he's like that's a manhole covered in. Oh my god. Now there's this lady named Pioneer Woman. You ever see her? Of course there is.

No, I haven't. She's just like this typical southern housewife mom. Oh, but does she cook things outside? No, she cooks in their southern cabin. And she's like, well, the boys are out catching cows and catching, doing whatever. And they're going to be hungry when they get back. The boys are out catching cows. They hunt wild cows.

Like today, she made garlic bread, right? She's like, first you get. That's not pioneer woman-y. Well, she made us. What kind of pioneers at high noon got on their horse? Got off and said I'll have some garlic bread marm none none

ever did that like okay so here's a picture of her just so you get a visual and so she's making garlic bread she cuts the bread in half you know who she kind of looks like who uh uh oh my god who's that one girl on uh she does like stuff for Bread and half. You know who she kind of looks like? Who? Oh, my God.

Who's that one girl on... She does stuff for maybe GameStop or something. She looks like her in 30 years. GameStop girl. Oh, I think I know who you're talking about. It looks like her, but like 30 years from now. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So, yeah, she's just this like woman she's just like oh boys are like her husband and her kids go out and like do the hard work whatever and she stays at home and cooks the food that's the hardest work of all yeah dude so she's like we're having some wrestling up wrestling up some cows that ain't hard work cooking meal for four hungry boys that's's tough, y'all. And she made spaghetti sauce with chicken and a bunch of tomato paste, sugar. And she's just like, then you just add in a stick of butter. And I was like, okay. And she's like, not for the garlic bread.

Just put in a stick of butter. And I was like, huh, all right. She's just like, not for the next thing. You're going to need two sticks of butter. Hold on a minute We should pull off her mask and reveal her to be Paula Deen Oh my god Paula, what are you doing?

I had to get back on the TV I had to do it Paula, I can't help it I said some things I didn't mean Paula Deen You're not allowed back on TV I just wanted to put butter and food for you oh my god

PaulaDeen.com I don't even think it like works anymore she had to hide she's got a new cookbook out Paula Deen cuts the fat uh huh oh wow I get more retweets and likes than she does on Twitter

take that Paula Dean Yeah take that Paula Dean Oh my god Paula Dean is She's going crazy now She's like stopped Look at her now look at that She looks creepy What the hell

Eww yeah Eww no She looks like she's trying to become like LA Paula Dean Eww no Ew, yeah. Ew, no. She looks like she's trying to become like L.A. Paula Deen. Ew, no. No, Paula, no. I tell you how I cut the fat. I just stopped eating.

Surgery helped. Surgery. Surgery helped. Wow, how did we get on this subject? I don't, all right. What are we talking about? You mentioned high't all right what are we talking about you mentioned high news and suddenly we were talking about pioneer woman pioneer woman led to paula dean oh yeah food network watching tv that's what it was okay so back on topic here new year's

it's you know it's okay it's nothing special i saw speaking of new year's and and food yeah i've had this article headline sitting on my desk for maybe the entire year what is it and i wanted to mention this to you because i keep forgetting to bring it up in this podcast and then it's the end of the year and i need to do this now it's the funniest headline i've ever read and i keep forgetting to mention it man cooking up ramen in a speedo accidentally shoots himself in the nuts with 20 bottle that took a drastic turn i have never looked this article up i feel like we should do this together all right i'm ready all right so man cooking ramen is me though it comes up immediately accidentally this is a legitimate article many articles on it the headline

tells the story I don't know where to go from here. I guess it would help explain just who, what, where, when, and why, how this cartoon-like catastrophe happened. A man in Taiwan was playing video games in just his Speedo and decided to make some ramen noodles. A box of bottle rockets was a little too close to the open flames on the stove and started to fire. The rockets were aimed right at the dude's crotch. Let's go right to the scene as it unfolds. Oh, man. It was these sounds that alerted neighbors to call the fire department. When the emergency workers opened the door to Mr. Yee's room,

they could vaguely see him through a cloud of smoke, wearing a speedo on all fours, legs spread and yelling, Ow! him through a cloud of smoke, wearing his feto on all fours, legs spread and yelling, ow! Mr. Yee described his ordeal to the media, saying, all the fireworks seemed to... All the fireworks seemed to fly as if they were somehow

intended to hit him in his banana hammock. Ow! His only defense was to flail his feet wildly in a desperate attempt to block one or two.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god, I just pictured that. He's just sitting there. You can see him flailing, trying to reflect on the bottle rockets. Oh my god! He's flailing around. The man was treated and released from the hospital

with only minor bruises and burns to his crotch. The ramen was treated and released from the hospital with only minor bruises and burns to his crotch. The ramen was ruined. Oh, my God. That was so worth saving one whole year for. That is definitely worth it. That was the best story ever. Ever.

Easily ever. Oh, my God. How? ever ever easily ever oh my god how i like i like to imagine he just could not understand why all of them were hitting him in the crotch he's like please stop and they just kept launching at him oh well i mean that is that is something that is pretty amazing. I think would be Florida Man. But it's that.

We've progressed. Florida Man has transcended and evolved into a higher power. Here's the thing. Everyone's Florida Man now. Yeah, everyone's Florida Man now. You all have the potential to be Florida Man. And one day we'll talk about you getting shot in the crotch with fireworks uh oh yeah that's what i wanted to say i saw star wars for a second time wow second time how many times have

you seen it three oh my god i've seen it three times and that was all opening weekend so yeah i've got problems all right we don't have to super cover it but i just want to i want to say my star wars you know you want to say your star wars all right well spoilers for no one some people who haven't seen star wars yet although if you haven't yet you were never really a fan to begin with so all right continue all right so i feel like the best part of that movie are the droids oh bb-8 so good yeah bb-8 wonderful it's probably like the greatest character in the movie best character hands down agreed yeah and apparently they like had him built from what i he's real he's totally real like they they bring him to like events and they roll him out on the stage, and he does

like his whole, like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Oh, my God. That's so cool. I want one in my life. Yeah, okay. And then? And I have the Sphero one. It's not nearly as good as the real one.

The Sphero one. Oh, yeah, that one. The one you control with your iPad, iPod, whatever, your iPhone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not nearly as good as the real one. I want a real BB-8. Yeah. I want a real BB-8. Yeah, I want a real BB-8. I want a real best friend.

Come on, Disney. We kind of work for them. Make us little robot friends. Yeah. You bastards. All right. It's a lot of people. I mainly want to talk about why people are like, I don't like it.

They're like, it's like the New Hope movie. I loved it. So first off, they can kiss my butthole. Mm-hmm. I like that it's like that movie. It's like the callback. And like every movie kind of needs that like setup. It's like setting up future movies, but at the same time it has a storyline.

Here's the thing. These are why people are dumb. I'm going to tell you. Okay. Everyone has been like, oh, Rey's too powerful. She's too good. There's nothing holding her back. Like, that kind of stuff.

Yeah. And they're like, Luke was nothing like that. First off, have they seen episode four? Luke literally is amazing in that movie. Yeah. He is like the best pilot that ever was. He destroys the Death Star without a targeting computer just because he hears Obi-Wan be like, use the force. Yeah.

Right? He manages to dodge Darth Vader. And Darth Vader's like, oh, the force is strong with this one. He is incredible. And the only training he has in fighting is like, he does like a little boopity boop with a lightsaber on that little droid that shoots lasers at him or whatever it does. And he's just like, use the horse.

He's like, pew pew, I blocked it. Other than that, Luke has no discernible skill. Yeah. Except that he says he was good at flying and shooting womp rats back home. That's literally his only sort of... Meanwhile, Rey has clearly from birth been trained

to be a badass. She's like beating up dudes with her staff. She's like kicking ass and she can defend herself. She don't need no man. Right? Even people who are like Finn couldn't use a lightsaber. Finn is a stormtrooper who is trained to fight. They're looking for Luke Skywalker. That's the whole purpose of the First Order. So he's trained to fight. They're looking for Luke Skywalker.

That's the whole purpose of the First Order. So he's trained to fight dudes with a lightsaber. So, of course, he would know how to use one. And Finn's always just like, I'd rather use a blaster. Right? He's not very good with it. It's like, whatever. You know what? Stop being a hater.

Everyone's like, Luke, like, he got, it was hard for him. Yeah, and Empire Strikes Back. But in A New Hope, he was, everything was fine for Luke. The hardest part of his life was watching the old man who he just met die. Yeah, and even then, he's just kind of like, oh, man, well. He's like, no. All right, well, I gotta go now. First, my parents get burned outside. Yeah.

Or his aunt and uncle or whatever. I just love that scene. He walks back and they're just like skeletons. He's like, oh, man. Have you seen Mark Hamill's autographs? No. They're amazing. So people will have him sign cards and different things.

Yeah. And some of them, there's one that's like it's a card of Luke looking at the house that's burning. And I believe on the autograph it says something like, I told Uncle Owen to stop smoking indoors, signed Mark Hamill. It's amazing. Like there's one where it's him in front of the vaporizers on Tatooine. And it's a picture of Luke Skywalker and he signs it like, uh, uh, looking to sell my bong, Mark Hamill. It's, he's hilarious. He's great.

I love Mark Hamill. I think he's finally realized, like, he's done all the things he's wanted to do and now he's just like, I'm just going to live out the rest of my life as Luke. Just be, do whatever I want. I feel like that's, Harrison Ford's thing was kind of like, I hate Star Wars and only a part of it. And then eventually he was like, you know what? Screw it.

Yeah. I'm old and I'm ornery. I'll do it. Yeah. It's great. I'm okay with that. Me too. Oh, yeah.

And like, you know, was it Womp Rats? Right? He shoots Womp Rats. Like, if they did that now, I feel like the internet would be so cynical. It would just be like, all he did was train shooting Womp Rats. Like, Darth Vader had a far better, like, upbringing than Luke. It's dumb. Also, also, let's be clear. If we're going to give Rey some crap, Anakin Skywalker is maybe eight years old and not only wins a race against aliens who are trying to murder him, but also manages to accidentally

fly a fighter into an enemy Star Destroyer and blow it up. Yeah, but... And then survive it. But it's mitochondrions, dude. Oh, I'm sorry. My bad. Mitochlorians are through the roof. Horrible. Horrible.

If you're willing to overlook the origin stories of all the other characters, you need to just stop. I still love that movie where they're flying. It's like, all right, what we need to do is go into the Death Star, invade the thing. We need to blow up those activities. Like, oh, it's like shooting Wop Rats. It's like, what?

Just like shooting Wop Rats back home. No, Luke. No. No, it's not. This is an intense military mission where we have to have precise accuracy and we could die. It's like, yeah, like womp rats. Like womp rats. I love that.

Yeah, but no, Rey is way overpowered, though. Yeah. She's way overpowered. And then Kylo Ren, I like him because he's kind of like the emo Darth Vader one. He's basically who Anakin Skywalker should have been. Yeah. Like, if they want... I don't know why people don't like this movie.

For those few of you out there who don't like it, I feel bad that you lost your innocence so long ago. I want to know what happened to you to make you feel so awful about life, to not appreciate entertainment. I know. And they tied the nostalgia in really well with the story, too.

Right? It's basically a remix of episode four. And JJ Abrams was like, we're going to reboot this whole thing. Episode one, two, and three are not even going to be a memory. And I'm going to blow up the Senate so we won't have any more scenes involving politics. It was great. I loved

everything in it. Yeah. It's so good. Oh, yeah. I had a question. Yes. You know the alien girl with the goggles? Yes. Her name's Maz, right? Like M-O-S. Yes. Is that like Maz Isley? No.

Maz Isley is on Tatooine. Maz is her name. It's just Maz Kanata was her name, I think. Oh, okay. But I think she's connected to the guy at the beginning. Because if you know at the very beginning of the movie, in the opening scroll, it's like we have to, like, the number one pilot of the resistance is meeting with this guy who's super important. And then the super important guy is in the movie for like two minutes.

Yeah. But he's in the opening crawl. So it's one of those things where I feel like that dude's backstory and Maz's backstory, like something, there's more to the whole story than we know. And I can't wait until we find out. And I'm super excited.

And I haven't been this excited for Star Wars in a long time. So stop peeing on my parade, nerds! Yeah. I mean mean she's got Luke's lightsaber. Just cuz it was Anakin's lightsaber. That's what makes even more interesting. It killed all those little kids Yeah, it was Anakin's lightsaber and when she touched it Obi-Wan spoke to her. There's some crazy shit happening Oh my god. There's so many. And then I can't wait. I can't wait. There's uh Oh my god. There's so many... And then... I can't wait. I can't wait. There's, uh, what was it? The alien dude. Like, the...

Everyone's trying to figure out who he is. The big alien. Simon Pegg! What? Oh! Oh, you mean Snoke. Sorry. Yeah, Snoke. I thought you meant the guy... So, did you know that there's a ton of cameos in this movie? No. Well, yeah. So, first off, Simon Pegg is the alien who

runs the junk shop. Yeah. Um, Simon Pegg is the alien who runs the junk shop. Yeah. The guy who is in Finn's ship who's like, sir, they're getting away. Right. He is the dude who plays. Oh, God. What is that kid's name? The guy who hung out with Bran Stark in Game of Thrones, who was like, I don't want to spoil things for Game of Thrones stuff as we spoil Star Wars stuff.

But anyway, he was from Game of Thrones. And the Stormtrooper, my favorite one, the Stormtrooper who was like, I'll leave my blaster here. That was Daniel Craig. Whoa. Yep. James Bond was A stormtrooper Just a random stormtrooper It's amazing

That's so crazy I would love to be a random stormtrooper Call me I know That'd be anything It'd be an alien It'd be like a background alien 4 Alien with hat

Alien with hat Like hey, alien with hat. Like, hey! Jump up and jump, jump! Call me Lucas. No, wait, not Lucas, Disney. Jump up and jump, jump! One thing I kept reading is like, is that the big alien dude, like Darth,

what was his name? The guy who trained the Emperor. Palpatine's master? I master i don't know maybe people think he is but no one knows yeah so that'd be cool because in the movie he's like i killed him but then he also talked about how he made illusions and shit and so and how he lived forever yeah so we'll see that'd be a nice way to tie it into the prequels yeah without ever having to address the prequels again. Yeah. I'd be totally okay with that. Yeah.

That would be really cool. Yeah. I'm all right with that. That sounds fun. Yeah. So overall, I really like Star Wars, and I don't get why people don't like it, because now I've seen it twice, and I'm still like, that was really good. Yeah, I've seen it three times, and even after the third time, I was like, that was really

enjoyable. Yeah. I've seen it three times. And even after the third time, I was like, that was really enjoyable. Yeah. I don't know. Someone made a Twitter called Very Lonely Luke. And he's like, I'm going to stand in this spot and stare at the ocean for 20 years so I can turn around dramatically if someone ever shows up. Well, here's the thing. That person's a dum-dum because if you see, if you look, go watch the movie again luke is clearly standing at the grave oh yeah that's right whose grave is it krendor whose grave is it is it his wife's grave

i don't know shit dude shit dude i'm saying bro that's what i'm saying uh yeah i'm pumped but isn't the next one not coming out for two years? Or is, like, next year? Well, the next one comes out, the next in this series comes out in May 2017. But the next Star Wars movie is Rogue One, and that comes out next Christmas. Yeah. And Rogue One's going to be cool because it's, like, Star Wars, but, you know, minus crazy Jedi powers. It's, like, all the, like, we're going to go steal the Death Star plans, which is cool. My dream for that is it's these badass, because it's a bunch of, like, we're going to go steal the Death Star plans, which is cool. My dream for that is, it's these badass,

because it's a bunch of like Kung Fu people and stuff, right? Yeah. So my dream is like they're badasses and they beat up stormtroopers

and are awesome. Yeah. But then they meet Darth Vader and they all get killed. That'd be amazing. Whoa. Like one guy

barely makes it out alive because Darth Vader's like, what up haters? And like rips them apart and stuff. Oh, that'd be so cool. So the Star Wars Rogue One like takes place when Darth Vader was alive? Yeah, it's about getting the first Death Star plans.

Oh, whoa. It's basically what Kyle Katarn would have done in Shadows of the Empire. Oh, whoa. Like that old school game that was between, what's that? Yeah, because I think it takes place, the intro bit takes place before, and it's him finding the Death Star plans. I think that's what it was. I don't remember. It's been a while.

But yeah, it's them finding the first Death Star plans. That's really cool. Yeah, and so they're like a bunch of crazy rebel, like badass spies and stuff, and they discover it. And yeah, it's that story, which I think is really cool. And so they're like, yeah, no, probably Tarkin will be in it. A young Tarkin will be in it. But other than that, there won't be any, like, they were like, maybe another character will make an appearance. Wink.

And I was like, it'd be great if Death Star, Death Star, a young Death Star shows up. What are you guys doing? You're stealing my plants. What are you guys doing? You stealing my plants? What are you doing? Get out of here, you. I'll fire my laser. A young Death Star. He's got cool, slick hair.

He didn't become bald until later. He's like, hey, I got mutton chops. This Death Star, I don't take care of itself. He just runs a comb through his Death Star. Yep. All right, well, enough of that gibberish. Let's move on. Jump, jump, jump into the sky with Crandor.

Crandor, how's that? Traffic. I was actually on a horse today. As you can see, we're not in the sky. There's a little bit of miscommunication there, but you can hear the clip-clops of the horse, which is all that matters. So right now, I'm riding down I-845, one of the busiest intersections, but nobody's here.

Everybody's either at home having parties, or they're in New Yorkork waiting for that the big ball to drop so it's pretty lonely out here i've tuned into my uh coast to coast am horse radio uh it's pretty nice nice relaxing ride oh i forgot tonight was the night where they do predictions and it's always predictions like next year the world will end oh shit dude well tonight's gonna be their uh predictions so i'll probably listen to that on Next year, the world will end. Oh, shit, dude. Well, tonight's going to be their predictions, so I'll probably listen to that on my Coast to Coast AM app that I got.

We heavily promote that, don't we? We do. That's because you get to hear the- Far too much. You can skip, like, whatever you want and just hear the crazy people. It's so awesome. I just always skip to the crazy people. Also, I hope Rory Heronic huang are celebrating the new year in style uh i don't know where they live but if i had to guess i would say they live in uh

alberta canada i don't even know what i'm saying anymore i'm just like i don't even know what I'm saying anymore. I'm just like, I don't even. Back to me. Back to you. All right. Let's go to Woppy at the weather desk with Alberta Canada. That's easy. Woppy activated Alberta Canada. Alberta. Out.

Out. Did you see the Woppy the robot fan art? What? Someone made fan art. And he was so sad. He was so sad. He looked like he was drinking Yeah

I didn't see that It was amazing I think it was linked on Twitter I think No maybe it was on Tumblr Woppy the weather bot Where were you?

I don't know where he is I'm gonna find it I'm gonna find it for you Alright I'll link it to you so you can see it Hold on I need to keep scrolling I need to keep scrolling Keep scrolling I'm going to find it for you. All right. I'm going to link it to you so you can see it. Hold on. I need to keep scrolling. I need to keep scrolling.

Keep scrolling. I need to keep scrolling. Keep scrolling. I don't see it. I don't see Wobby the Wobby. I don't see it. I don't see it none. Come on, man.

I'm looking. I'm looking for it. I don't see it none. Come on, man. I see everything but that. I guess Alberta's a Providence. Providence. Alberta's a providence prov providence alberta is a providence providence alberta is a providence because you got like calgary alberta canada i don't know that or alberta beach there we go oh alberta beach sounds nice all right what's the weather in Alberta Beach? Alberta Beach, Canada.

Weather, 29 degrees. Feels like 21 degrees. Wind, west, 8 miles per hour. Humidity, 52%. Dew point, 13 degrees. Pressure, 30.31 inches. Up. Visibility, 10 miles.

UV index, 0. Tonight, 14 degrees. Friday, 32 degrees. Friday night, 10 degrees. That's wonderful. I'm going to send you the link now. Nice. You can see what Woppy looks like. I'll make that the image for this

week's episode. Oh my god. That is amazing. Enjoy. How did I not see this ever? I don't know. You just don't pay attention to the kids. I'm going to retweet it.

You should. You should retweet that. All right. And sports. Oh, yes. Sports. All right. We got some crazy sports news today. A lot of bowl games. Here's the thing.

A lot of these bowl games, stupid as hell. That's true. A lot of the bowl games, they've like added more bowl games and shit. They're like, that's the Totitos Texas Dorito Bowl. We need to look this up, because I think we do this every year, but I want to look this up. Stupid bowl game names. Oh wow, it's the first thing that pops up. Ten worst college sponsorship. Oh, yeah.

The Independence Bowl. It isn't that it's an absurd name, but it's the AdvoCare V100 Independence Bowl. Yep. Or it was formerly known as the Poulan Weedeater Independence Bowl. Of course.

There's also the Little Caesars Pizza Bowl. That's the bowl I can get behind. The famous Idaho Potato Bowl. No doubt that's a famous one. Shut up. There's not a Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl. Get out of town. B-dubs Bowl, dude.

The Mako Bowl in Las Vegas. The Meineke Car Care Bowl of Texas. Oh, my God. Shut up. The GoDaddy.com Bowl. The Chick-fil-A Bowl. The Chick-fil-A Bowl. Craft Fight Hunger Bowl.

The Craft Fight Hunger Bowl. Bowl. Craft Fight Hunger Bowl. The Craft Fight Hunger Bowl. No. Craft Fight Hunger Bowl. The Beef O' Brady's Bowl. Why? Really, this is just like, we want to sponsor some crap, so come to our awful bowl. Yeah. Beef O' Brady's.

What is Beef O' Brady's? I think an awful restaurant? Beef-O-Brady. What is Beef-O-Brady's? I think an awful restaurant. Beef-O-Brady's Family Sports Pub, the restaurant franchise in the United States established in 85 by Jim Melody in Brandon, Florida. Beef-O-Brady's looks really bad. It looks pretty awful, actually. The SeaWorld Bowl was from 1986 to 1990.

The Idaho Potato Commission Bowl. Oh, my God. The ConA Potato Commission Bowl. Oh, my God. The ConAgra Foods Bowl. Who are these? This is ridiculous. Oh, yeah. Here's some older ones. No wonder everyone thinks the bowl games are a joke.

Remember when there was, like, five bowl games? Rose Bowl, Orange Bowl. Peach Bowl. Yeah. Cotton Bowl. Cotton Bowl. What was the other one? Like, Sugar Bowl.

Yeah, and then there was, like, the Sun Bowl or whatever the Hawaii one was. Yeah, I was like, that's it. Yeah, I think that was it. And then they were just like, you know, why don't we just add in more so that other people could have their games. Now, it's every team basically gets a bowl. Yeah, like literally every team. Teams with losing seasons get a bowl. Yeah, it's like we'll put you in the Bridgepoint Education Bowl.

We'll put you in the Lower Mississippi Delta Bowl. The hell's that? Yep. Here's some more. Culligan Bowl. The Bell Helicopter Bowl. Culligan, man! R Plus L Carriers Bowl.

Yep. The Northrop Grumman bowl. All these sound like great bowl games. The ConAgra foods bowl. Somewhere, the Super Bowl, their sad father is just disappointed in all of them. You could have been so much better, kids. Dad, I played in the ConAgra Foods Bowl. You may as well have played in nothing

at all. I wonder, alright, I'm looking this up. What does the ConAgra Foods Bowl ring look like? Con, ConAgra Foods Bowl ring. Hold on, we gotta have some ConAgra Foods history first, because it was only in 2002

con agra are the makers of chef boyardee yep so con agra sponsored the hawaii bowl in order to get back in favor with america after a string of bad publicity first was their demolition of 20 historic structures in omaha nebraska then came their federal crackdown for spraying water to bulk up the weight of their grain and bribery of federal officers. Then came all of their health violations. In 2001, the company stopped production in two plants, and in 2002, they had to recall 19 million pounds of bee-free coli. ConAgra should have worried about actually cleaning up their plants and business methods before sponsoring a bowl game. Oh, Conagra. This is amazing. This is amazing. I can't.

Where's the... They don't even have a ring listed. Like, you can't find one. I just want to see what the ring looks like. I don't even get a ring. You just get, like, Chef Boyardee. I like how when you go to Jostin's, they have... Jostin's, you're home for all rings. I'm looking at themee. I like how when you go to Jostens, Jostens, you're home for all rings. Mm-hmm.

I'm looking at them now. I see the Super Bowl rings. Right. I don't see anything on here. I see all this. I see all the Super Bowl rings of the Steelers. Six wins, yo. I see all those.

I don't see any. Those are NFL. I don't want NFL. Yeah. I don't want NFL. Yeah. I don't want NFL. Yeah, I don't want no NFL. We're looking for, what's it called? I'm going to look up.

ConAgra. College Bowl. This is stupid. I don't even give a shit. I don't care. Yeah. What am I looking at? Uh-oh.

Championship rings for college sports. Justin's. They're doing it. Celebrate. Oh, you can literally buy one of these. If you're so sad that you're like, I want to get a... My team won a bowl.

I want to have the exact same ring they have. You can do that now, I guess. That is really stupid. It's really dumb. I like how college sports on top of it are more... They are what makes that school. Like people are like, I went to Alabama. Number one football.

And it's like, what about like, what do you learn? And they're like, I don't know. I learned that my team's the best. Alabama football rules. Alabama, yo. Like, really? Like, what else do they got there? Nothing.

Alcohol. That's true. Unprotected sex. That's about it. Syphilis. Unprotected sex. All right. Do we have a big news story, Grendor?

We have an amazing big news story. I can't wait to hear it. Michigan woman gets vulgar note on Domino's pizza receipt twice. Twice is what sells it. All right, I'll play. Kenyatta Robinson refuses to give her dough to Domino's pizza after discovering a vulgar note on two receipts robinson's daughter recently ordered a pizza from a domino's in west bloomfield michigan when she saw the receipt

something bothered her and it wasn't the price of the pie on the receipt were three words two of them offensive f this c. I can... Okay, I understand. So why were they there, though? Well, she said, I don't understand why they would treat me this way, Robinson told them. Robinson decided to see if it was an accident, so she placed another order. When I came to pick it up, that receipt had the same vulgar language.

Robinson believes the receipts are in retaliation for the time in 2014 Ah, so the manager knows who she is. Gotcha. All right. Ronnie Asmar, director of operations at Domino's, said the manager was later terminated in part for being rude. His parting gift to us was putting that vulgar comment in her phone number's notes. Oh, so as he asked. That's amazing. So the manager is gone.

Yeah. This is like some after the fact, like, apocalyptic crazy shit. Like, the guy isn't even there. This is Ghost in the Machine. The guy isn't even there. But every time it prints out a receipt, it puts next to her name. F this C. That's amazing.

So he's just like, you know what? If I'm going out, this is how I'm going out. Please tell me they don't know how to remove that. They couldn't figure it out. Asmire tried to apologize to her and offered a gift certificate to make it up to her, but Robinson refuses to accept it. I will never eat here again, she told the station, ever in my lifetime. Vulgar receipts aren't as common at pizzerias as mozzarella cheese or pepperoni, but they do show up in July. as mozzarella cheese or pepperoni, but they do show up in July.

Loretta Smith Lane ordered chicken wings from a New Jersey pizzeria and asked that they be fried hard. Fried hard? When she got the order from Danny's Pizza Pizzes, the note on the receipt underneath the special instructions was the vulgar phrase, fried hard like a black dick. Yes! That is amazing! The employee who typed that phrase

in the system was later terminated. Of course. He was later promoted to manager regional manager someone said i'm sure the lady was polite and understanding while interacting with the employees prior to this event yes of course he sounds like it yeah anyone who would call the news i imagine it was super polite and did not overreact yeah of course like if someone like if they delivered the wrong pizza, I'd be like,

oh well, I'm just not going to order from there again. Yeah, I wouldn't like freak out and be like, listen to me! Yeah. That's just an outrage. I'm outraged.

I'd just be like, all right, well, guess who's never getting my business again? Yep. Especially Domino's, if I'll be honest. There's your first mistake. Can you believe Domino's of all places. There's your first mistake.

Can you believe Domino's got my order wrong? Yeah. Can you believe Domino's wrote F this C? Oh yeah, I

actually can. It's almost like they make minimum wage and hate dealing with people. And I can understand why. I mean, I can

almost understand, yeah. Yeah. Alright, well that's it. Thank you guys for listening. We'll be back again. In the All right. Well, that's it. Thank you guys for listening. We'll be back again.

In the new year. Whoa. The new year. And as always. Yeehaw.