Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 125 - Crab People Politics

Episode Date: October 16, 2016

Cox n' Crendor return to address the important issues this political season. Who is writing on crabs!? What gifts should you get for an anniversary? They serve alcohol at Chuck-e-cheese!? All this and more!

Hello everybody, it's time for Cox and Crendor! Cox and Crendor in the morning! In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studio! Recorded! Wake your ass up! It's Cox and Crendor in the morning! Cox and Crendor in the morning.

Welcome back to our show, everyone. Greetings. How are you today? Are we going to wait for them to respond? Because if we do, it's going to take a while. Yeah. Yeah, we really didn't care. Did you know? I was just looking back through the archives, we started this fine program three years ago.

I think like a month from now. You know what? We need to have an anniversary, a three-year anniversary. What do you get for someone when it's their three-year anniversary? Hold on. Let me look this up. A divorce. Hey-oh.

Hey. Three-year anniversary gift. I feel like you'd get... Hallmark has gifts by year. Oh, Crendor. Anniversary gift. The traditional third-year anniversary. Leather. If anyone wants to send Crendor and Anniversary gift. The third, the traditional third year anniversary. Leather.

If anyone wants to send Crendor and I leather gifts. Leather. If you just want to send us some leather, you know. All right, good, good, leather. Yeah, if you guys want to send. Here's the crazy thing. All right. First year is paper.

That's when you're like, you know what? We've been together a year. Honestly, it doesn't matter. But it says also modern clocks. Yeah, so if you want to be a modernist, which who does, your first year is a clock. You get a clock. Which is, this is counting down the remaining years of your life

before you die stuck to the same person. So it's a solid reminder of what marriage is. stuck to the same person so it's a solid reminder of what marriage is then second year cotton is your second traditional gift which that's when you get clothes and stuff which to me is that makes no sense you get cotton clothes then you get leather and then your fourth year the one that seems totally out of place fruit Fruit. Fruit and flowers. That seems like it'd be the first year. Right? Maybe after paper, because paper is easier to come by than fruit and flowers.

That's true. I feel like that should be at least the second. Maybe that's a six-month anniversary. Like, I bought you some fruit. The thing is, the second modern one is China. Now, is that referring to the country? No, the dishes. Or the dishes. It's not saying go to China.

The second modern anniversary, after you got your clock, you go to China. China? China? Then it goes, your fifth anniversary, traditionally, is wood. You give them a wood product of some sort. Wood. And then here's the crazy thing. Sixth, candy or iron.

Candy or iron. That's a very broad question. That is very broad. You could get candy or iron. I don't. That's a very broad. That is very broad. You could get candy. Or iron. What do they mean by iron? Do they mean like things made of iron? Do they mean iron vitamin?

Yes, I think they mean something made of, because then it goes seventh anniversary. Traditional wool. Food's high in iron. Copper. You know what I think this is? Why they start splitting it? Why? Because this seems like one of those like Downton Abbey kind of deals

Where you have one family that's super like Oh we're the hoity toities And then you have another family That's like we're the pouring McPouringtons Right and so This is one of those if you don't have money buy them candy If you do have the money get them iron Because if you look down the list

Eighth is pottery bronze So if you can't money, get them iron. Because if you look down the list, eighth is pottery bronze. So if you can't afford bronze, get them a pot. If you start looking through these numbers, you start getting some weird realizations. We looked through 16 is coffee and tea. So right, they're together 16 years. They're probably either trying to stay awake to take care of their kids or they're drinking tea to relax can i also point out another amazing thing is the modern stops at year 15 yes so they don't even expect you to last 15 years that shit ain't gonna happen and they're like 17 there's like wine

you're gonna need that get a wine appliances like the old ones got old. And you keep going down the line. 21. Year 21 theme. Fire. Fire? You're just going to burn them. Either burning the relationship up or your relationship is rekindling into a flaming fire. Maybe that's the year they're like, shit, dude.

Maybe. We're just like, we're just really getting that flame again You know what the best part is Things just keep repeating Yeah they do Like iron at 33 Yeah if you make it to 19 you get jade But also if you make it to 35 years you get jade again

Because by that point you've already forgotten what your 19th anniversary was like Like yeah let's give them jade again It's what the 33rd is like. Ah, iron again. Yes. 39. 39 is laughter. Laughter.

39 is laughter. It's like, can you believe we made it this long? Holy shit. I can't believe we made it this long. 41, buy him a desk. Yep. Get him a desk. 44. If you a desk. 44.

If you've been married 44 years, electronics? What? 53 is plastic. That's the bag you put them in. Because they're dead now. Because who do you know that's been married 53 years? Actually, I think my grandparents.

Were married 53 years? I think they're at 57. Holy shit, their theme is night. It's very night now. Their theme is night. Very night. The darkness ever creeping in. Then once it hits 60, that's it.

It's like you get a diamond and there's nothing after that. Yeah, once you hit 60, enjoy that diamond because you don't get shit after that. 61 should be hope. Nope, that's 58. Yeah, that's 58. Thanks, Hallmark. Yeah, thanks, Hallmark. You figured it all out.

Plastic. I can't believe 53 years of marriage and you get plastic. That's like, it's just plastic you find in your food, probably. It's like, I've had plastic in my hamburger. They're like, ah, yeah, sorry about that. Happy anniversary. Here's a coupon.

You've been with McDonald's for 53 years of your life. Happy anniversary. So, uh... Yeah, how did we get on that subject? I said we've been doing this show three years. Ah, anniversary. Yeah, leather. Send us leather. Yeah, send us leather.

I've been uploading the backlog of podcasts onto YouTube. Good, good. So if you'd rather watch them on YouTube, go over there. I'm almost caught up. Some guy sent me a message that was like, I think someone's illegally stealing your podcast. I was like, what? And I went to go look and it was just you. I was like, up. Some guy sent me a message that was like, I think someone's illegally stealing your podcast. I was like, what? And I went to go look and it was just you.

I was like, oh. Yeah, it's just me. It's just Crendor. I'm doing it. No one's out there illegally stealing this podcast. No one wants to steal this podcast. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast. Or you can go to YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor if you want animations.

Yo, there's a new one on the way. Danny is already working on it. The Patreon hasn't even started up, and he's already working on it. I saw the preview of it, and it's some grade-A stuff. That's some high quality. It's apparently you torturing Donald Duck. Is that what it looked like? It's something.

I didn't even see that part, but I saw the first half of it, and it's really good. Oh, I haven't seen any of the video. He's you secrets yeah dude man i'm jealous it's good so yeah that's coming along very nicely yeah oh my goodness what have i been doing um man i went to twitch con this past weekend oh that was an event was it everything I figured it would be? Well, imagine a better version of VidCon, but still being VidCon. I see. Yeah, it's kind of like, VidCon's more like a bunch of fans going to see YouTubers. This is like a bunch of fans going to see Twitch people, but the Twitch people also

go to see Twitch people. Yeah, I think it's less fans. A great example is all the panels I was at. And you know that when we do panels, we pack those rooms, dog. We pack those rooms. We pack it. All the panels that I was at that I either went to watch or I went to go be a part of were some people on the panels with me that I feel like are way more popular on Twitch than I am. Yeah.

And every crowd was half full. Didn't matter if I was in I am. Yeah. And every crowd was half full. Didn't matter if I was in the audience or on stage, every crowd was half full. And I was like, why is this? And it didn't hit me until later that the vast majority of the audience there was people who just, everyone thought of themselves as a streamer. Like, no one went to this as just a fan to go see people they enjoy. They went to it as, I'm a streamer, Like, no one went to this as just a fan to go see people they enjoy. They went to it as

I'm a streamer, how can I make my channel grow? So instead of sitting around watching panels, everyone was at like, down the show floor wheeling and dealing, talking to people, playing the games. It was a lot of that. And it's not necessarily a bad thing, because that's pretty much what TwitchCon should

be for, but it's one of those things where if you're going to like, I'm gonna meet all my fans and it's gonna of those things where if you're going to like, I'm going to meet all my fans and it's going to be super duper, you're probably not. You're probably going to be wasting your time if you're going to make it like a fan meetup. My name's streamboy454 here and I'm like, I got 2,000 followers.

I'm just trying to connect here and I'll connect with streamman52. That was every single panel we were at Every panel the person would say Yeah hey my name is Deus Destruction And I just have a question

Alright cool My name's Blackwolf386 Yeah one guy had the best It was like the most Reaper name I've ever heard And it didn't even have any numbers at the end of it It was like my name's Deathwatch I was like the most Reaper name I've ever heard. And it didn't have any numbers at the end of it. It was like, my name's Death Watch. It's like, oh, shit.

How'd that guy get that name? Like, that dude's a badass. Mighty Falcon. Mighty Falcon? Yeah, Mighty Falcon. That's my Twitch name. That's not my Twitch name. What do you stream, Mighty Falcon?

I stream bird watching. It's just the big fal watching. Specifically falcons. Mighty falcons. Not the weak ones. I can imagine a guy with binoculars that have little GoPro lenses on the end. He's like, oh yeah, that's a mighty falcon. That falcon right there, that's a mighty one. And just zooming in on his ball. I like falcon balls. He's like, oh yeah, that's a mighty one just like zooming in I like Falcon balls

he's like oh yeah that's a mighty Falcon they just create a bird watching category on like creative if they can create a category that's just people eating shit dude they can make that there's the Korean channel on the Twitch creative EXBC. Easily one of the best Twitch channels ever. All they do is they go around Korea, they eat food, and then when they get subscriptions

or donations, they dance in public. And that's it. And they do that for like hours. Here's my problem with that. Hours. Every day. They basically are the summation of what I think Twitch is. People hardcore pandering for like, Twitch is essentially a dude playing the cello on the sidewalk. Yeah, it is. That's basically what Twitch is. And then people, he's like, give me money.

And that's Twitch. And once you learn to accept that, you can appreciate Twitch much, much more. And then get into it yourself and be like, thanks for the donations, Doomy22. And everything will be fine. Exactly. That's why these people are amazing. Amazing. That's why they're amazing.

Three months of my subscription money And a donation Just to see them dance It's great You're You're paying These Asian kids to dance Yeah

You're basically living Like an old southern plantation Owners dream Like here's some money Dance for me You're basically living like an old southern plantation owner's dream. Like, here's some money. That's for me. That's who you are right now. You're like a 1920s landowner traveling abroad in the Orient. You're like, why don't you dance with my boy?

Throw money at him. That's who you are. That's who you are. They're like, why don't you dance to my ball? I'm going to throw money at it. That's who you are. That's who you are. The thing is, they are, they're like, they're so committed to doing this. And they're so just like good at it.

They got like battery packs. They charge it. So they like walk around and stream. Like they walk around Korea. So it's like you're getting a world tour of Korea as well. And they even went to like the North Korean border and everyone was like, uh, do they dance there?

Yeah. We're like soldiers walking around and they were dancing. I'm telling you this stream, it beats everything. It beats total biscuit. It beats Dodger. It beats them all. Best stream I've seen.

I just imagine them at the border dancing around as a gun fight's going on. They're like, oh, thank you for the donation. They start dancing. And there's just a gun battle going on. I don't know why that's so funny to me it's amazing check them out tell them krendor sent you you just want to get free dances i do and uh i don't even know how i got there uh just twitch twitch yeah oh yeah twitch and uh i mean like at twitch con yes i always just imagine a lot of ego there as well.

I would have as well, but there wasn't. It was a lot of people who seemed really, really chill. So I'd say, compared to VidCon, there was that. It wasn't nearly as, like, egotistical. Yeah. Everyone thought they were a streamer, not in like a i'm famous way it was like hey yeah i stream community way yeah yeah yeah so i was like all right it's not terrible it's not bad i don't know how many times i would go back with the like intention of staying a whole

weekend yeah but a day would be fine just to show up i will say what up i watched the twitch roasts and the dj wheat one was all right that was pretty good then the next night they did the roast of miss vixen and it was just like it wasn't funny they were just like this was an actual thing they're like you know you're old and you don't get views and you're just old why i was like what all right what miss vixen i don't know that i know this person miss vixen she doesn't look old at all she looks like a normal i don't get the thing was like they're her friends too calling her old and then like they kept making pedophile jokes too and everyone was just like like they made three pedophile they're less like i look they're like this person looks then they would be like there's this other girl and they're like you look so young and then she's like well you're my boyfriend so you're like a pedophile and it was like what

like i don't even i don't know it was just the cringiest chat was spamming cringe i joined in i put cringe in the chat it was just so cringe i can't yeah i'm i'm looking this girl up she seems like perfectly normal but i don't know. Here's my question. I just find all of those cringy. You roast people who deserve to be roasted, right? So DJ Wheat, he's risen to such a high level in Twitch that you have to roast his ass because what do you do, DJ Wheat? What do you do? No one knows what you do, right?

So of course he's going to get roasted. I don't know. I mean, Miss Vixen, that's cool that they gave her an event. I don't know. But it was just like they randomly picked her or something. Yeah, that's weird. I don't know why. I felt like it was a thing that just didn't need to happen. Maybe

we just don't. Crendor, maybe we're wrong on this. Maybe we're the wrong ones. Maybe we're old. Yeah, maybe we're too old for Twitch. Maybe Miss Vixen is super popular and worthy of making fun of but all right sure oh yeah what what i watched that thing you told me to watch in england the fear of 13 yes. That shit was crazy. Right? And, like, it was just, like, this guy who just went to jail for, like, 30 years or death row. Mm-hmm. And then he gets out. Yeah, you get the backstory of what happened and how this guy just, yeah, it's so crazy.

It's such a crazy story. Yeah. Just, like, the stories that he tells about prison about prison and like what he did and all these things. He's fascinating. At the beginning, I was like, oh, this guy is a scumbag criminal. Yeah. And he's got kind of that like weird, like very focused crazy. Yes.

But when he talks, everything he says, I'm just like, I can listen to this guy tell stories for hours. It's so weird. He's fascinating. And the ending is definitely one of those twist surprise endings that I was like, oh, shit. Yeah, I saw that and I was like, shit, dude. Shit, dude. Yeah. Great movie.

I would say go watch it if you're listening right now. It's on Netflix. Yeah, it's on Netflix. Fear of 13. Yeah, it's crazy. Oh, man. Speaking of Netflix, I bombarded. I've gone through every episode of Luke Cage already.

I love that show. Yeah, Luke Cage is the new Marvel one. I haven't even seen that. Yeah, it's basically in the same universe as Jessica Jones and Daredevil. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's Luke Cage. It's the guy from Jessica Jones and he has his own show and he's badass and it's thoroughly enjoyable.

Shit, dude. So I've been watching that. Things to watch. I know, right? I watched the Degrassi second gen to see how bad it was. Yeah, no, I wouldn't watch that. It was very bad.

No, I wouldn't watch that. It was very bad It was very bad. No, I wouldn't watch that. It was very bad. But it's one of those things where it's so bad, you just want to watch more. Mm-hmm. I mean, it's possible. That's the case. I also really like watching bad shows to make fun of them. But, yeah.

I'm trying to think if there's any bad shows that I've watched. I've really not. I've avoided most of TV There's so much I want to watch But I haven't Yeah I have two I will say that on Netflix

There's a bunch of documentaries on there That are all like Creepy old men with young prostitutes The show And all of them have one to two stars. So I'm like, oh, so it's not dirty erotica. It's weird, like, moral-based. Oh, yeah, those shows.

Like, we'll follow this person on the street and see what happens and talk about their life. It's like, I don't care. I don't really care. I just want to see some freaky shit happen, but all right. Whatever. Move on. That's another good tombstone quote. I just want to see some freaky shit happen.

I just want to see some freaky shit happen. Is that too much to ask? That's all I want. Is that too much to ask? That's all I want. Is that too much to ask in this world? Just to see some freaky shit happen? That's all I want. Alright, well, I think that's as good a time as any to head over to Chopped and Copped. How's that traffic out there? I just wanted to ask if you're okay it sounds like you had a

stroke down there uh but i think you're fine so everything's great everything's great all right good good uh traffic uh today is looking pretty great there is a backup on the 44 west uh jim street 48 and uh i think that's going to delay traffic for about three to eight hours so if you're trying to get somewhere uh it's going to take a while so bust out your phone start watching some netflix or something uh or go to youtube look us up there we're also there you know just check us out we're available too uh and uh yeah i mean i'm an attractor copter so i don't have any uh what what is that i hear there's a warning sound or the wind i don't know which one it is oh it's just a beluga whale. Back to you. What?

No, I was trying to make an owl noise. That didn't sound like an owl to you? No. No? It just sounded like you blowing into a bottle. No? All right, screw you. I tried.

I tried so hard. I tried to make a bit happen, and you were like, what is that, a beluga whale? Well, because a whale's like, ooo. Sure. Alright, that was a whale is what that was. Have you heard the whales? No, whales are like, ooo.

Yeah, it's close enough. ooo. Those are whales. I know a lot of whales. I've talked to many whales. I have a lot of whale friends. I know a lot of whales. I've talked to many whales. I have a lot of whale friends. I know what they sound like. They're good people.

I want to ship them out of here. I know a lot of good whales. I'm just saying many of them that come into this country are criminals and rapists. And one of them is Rosie O'Donnell. We all agree on this. Everyone knows it. I'm just saying what people are thinking.

Did you hear what he said the other day? No. Like yesterday. What did he say now? They're like, Trump, because people are finding things about his taxes. And they're like, I don't think he's paid taxes in like 15 years. And so they're like, what do you have to say about that? He's like, I'll tell you what I'll say about Hillary.

Is that she's probably slept around. What? Yeah. And he's like, you know, she's probably cheated on Bill. But I mean, really, can you blame her? He did not just say that. He didn't say that. I'm telling you, he said it.

He said it. It was on the news. I was flipping through shit. I'm like, oh, the news is on. And Donald Trump said this today, and he said exactly that. I hope the next debate is literally just him being like, you and your husband sleep around with everyone, and her being like, you've married and divorced several women who you then cheated on, and that becomes

our presidential election. That pretty much is going to be our election. Like, where it's the two of them at the debate just yelling about who they boinked. That's all I want. That's all I want that to be. And then I want everyone to just simultaneously across the nation let out a sigh. I need to... Hold on.

I found it. It's 20 seconds. I just want you to really just hear it for yourself. Trump discusses Hillary. Here we go. I love that line. Yep. but why should she be and he kind of always does that like why like what like his little arm movements of like you know like but she's like trump you probably even even paid your taxes in like 80 years he's like yeah i'm smart'm smart. Too smart. Too smart. Why would I? Holy crap.

This is what we've come to. You know what caused all this? Brexit. I blame the UK. Yeah. You got to blame the UK. Got to blame the UK. If they hadn't made America to begin with, no, this would have been a problem.

Come on. If you hadn't gotten greedy, Britain, and decided to make some colonies, no, this would have been a problem. Yep. We would have been a problem. Yep. We would have been fine. You know, we could have even met the Native Americans peacefully later on. Crennor and I technically would probably even be Native American had there not been any colonies. That's true. Mm-hmm. I would have had a badass mohawk and been fit as shit because I ride horses and fucking kill buffalo and shit.

That's the stereotype. I'm so sorry. But that's the way I'd be because I'd be fucking badass. And Crandor would be like one of them old wise dudes with a pipe. I like how my knowledge of Native American culture is from 1950s movies. It just sounds like another movie that Nick Cage would be in. Oh my god. Nick Cage, yeah.

They just give him some Tanner and be like, you're an Indian now, Nick Cage. I just want to be... I don't want to be in it. I want to see a movie with Nick Cage and Matthew McConaughey. As Native Americans. In a remake of The Last Mohicans.

It's like, we need to find the ancient Native tribes that have conquered our land. And then he's like, alright, alright, alright. I would love that movie. That'd be an amazing movie. I'd be there opening day, the only one in the theater. I'd be ready.

There haven't even been many good movies lately Oh god I haven't gone to the movie theater lately I really haven't either There's been a few movies I've been meaning to see Where I was like oh I'll go see that And just have not Like I haven't gone And I'm like oh I'd go see that movie

And just never went Yeah I've done that for a few movies as well I'm like oh yeah I'd go see that movie, and just never went. Yeah, I've done that for a few movies as well. I'm like, oh, yeah, I've got to see that. It's just like, you know, whatever. Yeah, I can't remember the last movie I actually went to the theater to see. Yeah. I just can't. Are there any good movies?

Oh, I do. It was that one with the, you know, the girl with the baseball bat. Oh, Suicide Squad. You know, Suicide Squad. The girl with the bat. I would have loved Suicide Squad. The girl with the bat. I would have loved it if you'd been like, a league of their own? Yes.

That was the last time I saw a movie. When Madonna and Rosie O'Donnell play baseball together. With Geena Davis. With Geena Davis. A league of their own. I think the last movie I saw in the theater was Warcraft. Was it Warcraft? Maybe.

I think it was Warcraft. I can't remember the last time I was there. I didn't see Suicide Squad. I didn't see. Yeah, and then just, I'm looking through. There's nothing. Well, you know what? Coming up, Star Wars.

That is true. Hold on. coming up Star Wars. That is true. Hold on. There is there's got to be IMDB, Nicolas Cage. Gotta be some movies coming up that are worth our time. Gotta be.

Okay, so, first off. There's a movie called Pay the Ghost coming out. No, it did come out. Pay the Ghost. A professor frantically searches For his son who was abducted during a Halloween parade Which I guess that's the ghost in Pay the Ghost

Yeah The Trust A pair of cops Oh shit this is the one that has Elijah Wood in it A pair of cops investigating a drug invasion Stumbled upon a mysterious bank vault That's the one I wanted to see but I never saw Crendo we gotta go find this movie and watch this shit

We gotta find this movie It's an hour and 32 minutes of crime thriller-ness From May 13th 2016 Holy shit we need to find this movie We need to find this movie Here's the thing It has an above a 50 on Metascore On Metacritic

Oh my god it's gotta be good. It's gotta be good. It's gotta be good. Then the next one is Dog Eat Dog. A crew of ex-cons are hired by a Cleveland mafioso, the Cleveland Mafia, you know they're tough, to kidnap the baby of a rival mobster. Holy shit, Nicolas Cage and Willem Dafoe are in this one. Oh my god.

What is happening? What is this called again? Dog eat dog. Dog eat dog. Then was he in Snowden? What? It says he was in Snowden. Who did he play in Snowden?

What? He's not even listed on the cast. Who did Nicolas Cage play in Snowden? Get out of town. He was just there. They put him on. No. Nicolas Cage was Hank Forrester in Snowden.

Get out of town. You got a real role in a real movie. Damn, dude. Go. Good for you, Nick Cage. He is Captain McVeigh on USS Indianapolis Men of Courage. The harrowing true story of the crew of the USS Indianapolis who were stranded in the Philippine Sea for five days after delivering atomic weapons that would eventually end World War II. Hmm.

Thirst, extreme hunger, and relentless shark attacks. Nope, not watching that movie. Wait, what? Army of One. He plays Gary Faulkner, an American civilian that sets out on his own to find Osama bin Laden. Holy shit. Why do I feel like that's a real story? And the only picture on the IMDb is that one of him riding a donkey.

That is amazing. I want to see that movie. Holy shit. You know, I like how they say it's about this other guy, but we all know Nicholas Cage went to go find his son bin Laden. Yeah. Gary Faulkner. That's not even a real name. That was Nicholas Cage who went to go find his son bin Laden.

We all know that's true. We all know that shit's true. Oh, my God. He's also filming something called Mom and Dad. Oh my god, he's also filming something called Mom and Dad. A teenage girl and her little brother must survive a wild 24 hours during which a mass hysteria of unknown origins causes parents to turn violent against their own kids. Holy shit. I like this one.

Uh, Southern Fury. A southern mobster attempts to rescue his kidnapped brother. Sorry, Nicholas Cage and John Cusack. Well, you know that shit's gonna be amazing. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God! And Adrian Grenier, the dude from that show that people said was good, but I hated. What show? The one that was on HBO, you know, where they were all

douchebags, and they had the douchebag agent. Oh, Ballers? No! Not Ballers, the one before Ballers. Entourage. Oh, Entourage. Same show. Yeah.

That looks like a bunch of garbage. We need to watch The Trust, though. We need to find that movie immediately. And Army of One. When does Army of One come out? Because that is effing... In theaters November 4th? Oh, shit. It's a month from now. Crendor. November 4th is... When is BlizzCon?

I think that's during BlizzCon. Yo, what if the Disney theater was showing that movie, and instead of going to BlizzCon, we just went to go see Army of One? Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh, my God. That is amazing. The set's in theaters November 11th. Oh, wait, no, that's Dog Eat Dog. He's got movies every week.

He's got movies just back to back. Holy shit. He's in every movie. Nick Cage is in every movie right now. Or he can just go right when BlizzCon ends. Yeah. Also, that was the weather uh that wasn't the weather that was the traffic oh shit well now we're on the weather welcome to the

weather yes uh whoppy oh it's the weather weather activated four five four four weather activated Weather activated? Dayton, Ohio. Oh, hometown. Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo. Temperature, 70 degrees. Clear, feels like 70 degrees Fahrenheit. High, low, 62. UV index, 0 of 10. Tomorrow, 81 degrees. Fahrenheit. Fahrenheit. tomorrow 81 degrees Fahrenheit

look at another statement Fahrenheit he's getting back on track now though he's working it he's working his magic I believe just gotta keep tweaking I'll be ready to go any day just gotta keep tweaking just gotta keep tweaking just gotta keep tweaking

just gotta keep tweaking him he's he's weather activating that's what he's doing weather activate yep yep uh that's weather all right and what's happening in sports in sports news we had a bunch of crazy stuff going on this is when all the sports start kicking into high gear hockey's in the preseason. NBA's in the preseason. The NFL's been rolling. The Minnesota Vikings are 4-0. And I think they're the only 4-0 team in the league. Also, the guy in the Giants, Odell Beckham, has been going crazy.

And he says, I'm not having fun. Because all the media's focusing their attention on him. Wait, so he's just, like, getting picked on for having blonde hair? I don't understand. No, he's getting picked on for his, like, terrible attitude and everyone knows it, so the other teams are taking advantage of it. So, like, they're trying to get him to like play badly and they are so they keep doing it and he's like this is dumb and he starts freaking out even more and there's like dude you need to calm down dude is 23 years old playing in the NFL

and he's like I don't like it here no you're living a dream like a dream people with the eye for a madden last year madden He was on the cover of Madden last year. Madden curse. The Madden curse. The Madden curse. Damn, the Madden curse hitting them hard. Yep. And then Packers. Packers won last week. They had a bye week this week, though.

That's the main thing. Oh, yeah, the Broncos are 4-0 as well. But big news. The big news is baseball. Cubs. Cubs are going to do it. Cubs are going to win the World Series this year. I don't think so. I big news is baseball. Cubs. Cubs are going to do it. Cubs are going to win the World Series this year. I don't think so.

Best record in baseball. Where are you getting your information? That doesn't mean anything. I'm the information. You're the information? Yeah. That sounds like the worst line in an action film. Well, you can do information from I'm the Information.

I'm the Information. Cubs, 103 wins, only 58 losses, best record in baseball. They're awesome. They got home field advantage throughout the playoffs. This is it. I don't know. I don't think so. They got home field advantage throughout the playoffs. This is it. I don't know. I don't think so. I don't think so. Nope. Yeah, they got it.

Nope. Strongly disagree. They got it. And that's sports. Okay. Grendor, we have so many big news stories that people have sent us. What is our big news story of the day? Well, the big news story of the day? Well, the big news story I found was this brawl in Chuck E. Cheese. You did send me a link to this last night,

and I did watch it, and it is amazing. This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. So, yeah, all these people just start brawling in Chuck E. Cheese, just like all these people are fighting, like 20, 30 people and apparently the story is a video of brawl at Florida Chuck E. Cheese shows adults acting like kids

Crystal Jimenez was fast on the record button on Saturday when a massive fist fight broke out at a Miami area Chuck E. Cheese I just want to point out for those of you who are trying to envision what this fist fight looks like this fight was not

just one or two people fighting. It was, like, person A and B fighting, and then person B and C start squabbling, and then someone attacks C, and then person E and F start fighting for no reason, and then person, like, J

starts jump-k kicking a thing. And you're like, what is? It was pandemonium. There's so much crazy shit going on. It was pandemonium. And Jimenez whipped out her cell phone, recorded all the shit. She told Miami Herald, the fight started because one person was looking at another and instigating a problem when they went up to them and their families got involved.

That makes no sense. That makes no sense whatsoever. Jimenez said she believed that some of the brawlers were drunk. Despite Chuck E. Cheese having a two drink limit. What? I didn't even know they had alcohol at Chuck E. Cheese. I didn't either. It's like a kid's place.

Like, what? If you're getting shit-faced at Chuck E. Cheese, you got problems. You need to find Jesus. You got problems. It's like, first off, you're getting shit-faced in the afternoon at Chuck E. Cheese. And on top of that, you're getting in brawls at Chuck E. Cheese. I can't believe it. Someone looked at Chuck E. Cheese. And on top of that, you're getting in brawls at Chuck E. Cheese. I can't believe it. Someone looked at someone wrong.

And then a massive disproportionate fight broke out. Yeah. It's every... I can't even describe it. It's insanity. It's like you're watching a ridiculous spoof movie of what a fight should look like. World star, world star. It's exactly right.

It's world star, world star. It's like a Black Friday thing. Just picture that, but in a Chuck should look like. World star, world star. It's exactly right. It's world star, world star. It's like a Black Friday thing. Just picture that, but in a Chuck E. Cheese. It's crazy. People are fighting for no reason. I'm telling you. Watch. If you find the video, watch the background.

There are people in the background just fighting who are not involved in the main fight. There's guys, like, jump kicking the ball pit and shit. It makes no sense. Yeah. I don't even know. There's, like, jump kick in the ball pit and shit. It makes no sense. Yeah. I don't even know. There's, like, people running around. Kids are running around. People are just like, hey, what are you doing?

Andrew, where are you? Andrew. If you ever want to see the downfall of society, if you ever were curious what the end of mankind would look like, it's that fight at a Chuck E. Cheese. Yeah. People are just attacking each other for no reason back when i was a kid i went to chuck e cheese you know you just played some games you hung out with your friends and the parents gossiped about other people that was it and then and then you watch the weird animatronic cheese man you're like

they all dance on the thing Like we're singing Songs that are not licensed to you It is your birthday Boy or girl Boy or girl That's how I remember the Simpsons thing And that's it

And you're like sweet Eat so you go home Yeah that's pretty much it I don't know what has changed But Chuck E. Cheese sounds like a hell of a place to go. Yeah. Yeah, man. Do we have any other stories? Any other big stories that have happened?

Let's see. Steve Young had a weird encounter with Cupid referee. I don't care. Come on. Come on. How about Yahoo? Yahoo's got it. Are you sure?

I mean, we could always go back to Florida Man. Florida Man tries to steal yacht, fails, and partially sinks it. Florida Man enjoys buffet, tries to walk out on $8 bill. Florida Man accused of fatal face biting, attacked, booked in jail. Florida Man 34 busted for slapping girlfriend in the face with sex toy. Florida Man attacks neighbor with weed eater. I mean, there's so many here. Oh, my God.

I found it. Is it this one? Florida Man apparently painting anti-Hillary messages on Tampa Bay crowd. And on this one crowd it says, Hillary is a lying bitch. I think that's the one. He's just going around. He's just going around. He's just going around. Oh, my God.

There's no article here. Where's the article? It's got to be an article. It just says, Florida man is apparently painting anti-Hillary messages on Tampa Bay crabs. And there's the photo of a crab that says Hillary is a lying bitch. Where is this story? I found it. Okay. of a crab that says Hillary is a lying bitch. Where? Where? Wait. Where is this story?

I found it. Okay. Red state and federalist contributor Brandon Morris found a surprising political bent to the crustaceans he is after when he went crabbing last week in Tampa Bay. One of the crabs he caught had been sharpied on and on its underside, its message, not very kind hillary is a lying bitch though the region is across the country from both party conventions as well as it's going on in dc it appears to have a lively crustacean population that's as glued to the election cycle as we humans

it's simply confounded this crab hunter morse cited Morse sidestep talking with a reporter from the Tampa Bay Times in favor of letting crab advocates speak for the anti-Hillary Clinton creature, retweeting statements in an attempt to gain insight into this undeserved undersea demographic. Responses range from hungry to woke. So he said the crab people rise someone responded how can you be so politically aware and yet also so delicious ever stop to think that maybe the crab paid for that tattoo the crab people are key republican demographics i can't believe nobody is taking this seriously this article is like you know the crab people wink. Someone is going around Florida writing on crabs.

I want to meet that guy. Why do news stories never cover the actual news? Someone is going around Florida writing on crabs. Like, is it just a normal guy? Is it like one of Trump's kids? Is it Trump? Trump's just in Florida like bring me crabs so I can write on them. Hillary Clinton is a lying bitch. There we go. That's one. Why is no one covering the fact that there's a man in Florida writing on crabs? Yeah. Or is it just like a homeless guy?

Maybe he's getting paid to do it. Is this a thing that happens in Florida all the time? Just they are so used to people writing on crabs? I mean, most people are busy fighting at Chuck E. Cheese. There we go. Full circle. The perfect episode. All right.

Thank you, everybody. That's it for this episode. We'll see you next time. And as always, to be continued.