Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 131 - We Want The Hunger Games

Episode Date: April 2, 2017

Cox n' Crendor return with another all new episode! This time, the boys talk about Medieval Times, pancake eating the right way, drugged out birds, and why they both agree we need the Hunger Games. ...Obviously it's for selfish reasons. All this and more!

Hello everybody, it's time for Cox and Crandall! Cox and Crandall in the morning! In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios! Recording! Wake your ass up! It's Cox and Crandall in the morning! Cox and Crandor in the morning.

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to Cox and Crandor in the morning. Welcome back. You keep doing that. You keep shouting the opposite direction of your microphone. What I do is, right? Microphone's right here, right? I'm going to explain this to the viewers. Okay.

Listeners, you can't view this thing unless you're on drugs or something. With their mind power. In their mind palace. Don't do drugs. You will not be able to the viewers. Listeners, you can't view this thing unless you're on drugs or something. Don't do drugs. You will not be able to see this. Drugs will not help you see this anymore than if you weren't on drugs. Do not do that. Don't listen to this man. He is a bad influence. I see them in my mind. I see them

right in front of me. Oh, man. I just imagine if you're on drugs right now, you see little animated versions of us in your room. We're just doing this now, like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.

Yep. So all I do is write, the microphone's right in front of me, right? There's my head. There's the microphone. It's right here. But I tilt my head up

to a 90 degree angle. Go on. I form a trumpet with my, with my hands, like this. and then i go uh-huh that's it i don't know that that explained anything really you just i explained it that's what i did i don't know that you did all you did was go

no you can't you just did that in the microphone all All right, okay, I'm going to help you do this. All right, hold on, hold on. What if I do... Ah, Crandall. What are you doing with your mouth right now? You can't do that. That's Bane. That's like three years old.

All right, you need to get with the kids. My jokes are all three years old. No. That is not a thing. Shouting in a different way. Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. All right. You're saying this is three years old

and that makes it lame. Shouting in a different direction has been around for centuries. Nope. Shouting into a microphone? They didn't have microphones in the 1400s. You know what? They had hands.

They cupped their mouth around. Wait, no. They cupped hands around their mouth. They didn't cup their mouth around hands. Are you on drugs? I do see you right now. I am looking right at you. What were we talking about?

Was this just about me doing the thing? I think so. I think we haven't actually talked about anything. We are. We are. I don't know how many minutes we're into this thing. We have not talked about a damn thing. Disgusting.

Yeah. But we need to. Yeah. There's important news. And I promised. I promised the kids I would talk about it. All right. You promised the kids.

Should I go first or should you go first? This is definitely. They would. You know what? You should go first. I want to make them wait. All right, you promised the kids. Should I go first or should you go first? This is definitely, they would, you know what? You should go first. I want to make them wait. All right, make them wait. Then they'll stick around. Yeah. Yeah, they will.

They have to. They have to. Let's see. Here's a couple things I wrote down. Number one, I saw the Power Rangers movie. How was it? It was better than I expected, but it was still average. Everyone says that.

They're like, I enjoyed it, but it wasn't very good. I expected it to be a 5 out of 10 after watching all the Twitch streams of Power Rangers. It was a solid 6.6 out of 10. It had some goofs. It had some gaffes. I want to know why the.6. Why was the.6 there? It was a 6.6 why?

Well, all right. Here's the good. The good was I could follow the plot i understood what was going on uh that shouldn't be the good that should be just how movies work listen warcraft movie i had no idea what was going on this movie i at least knew what was going on uh zordon kind of a dick hold on you know what's so you know what's so sad about that what how long have you played warcraft like literally it's baffling to me that, like, you watched one weekend of Power Rangers and you're like, I get it.

I get what's happening. You played Warcraft for 10 years. It's like, I don't know what the hell it's about. Yeah. Plus, I probably know more than most Warcraft people on top of it. That's what I'm saying. That's just very funny to me. Yeah.

So, yeah. But here's the thing. Power Rangers, Zordon, kind of a dick. Alpha, better than the new Alpha, but not as good as the old Alpha. Okay. All right. I was about to say. Old Alpha?

Aye, aye, aye, Rangers is the best Alpha. Best Alpha. There is another Alpha. There is another Alpha. There's another Alpha, and he's not good. He's a gangster. He's a gangster alpha and he's like yo ranges What are you doing over there? Shut up first off? Not a gangster Gangsta about that like yo ranges about a big bottom. Oh, what are you doing? I'm gonna go eat

He is more like a Brooklyn alpha. What? That's terrible. Wait, why would he have a Brooklyn accent? I don't know. All I know. I feel like the more they went into weird, like, mega ninja zord rangers, they were like, well, something about this has to be more American. Let's make alpha.

This guy's like, hey, rangers, what are you doing? Oh, boy. I can't wait to go defeat Ivan Ooze. They got past it. They're like, this is the new Alpha. It's not Alpha 5. It's Alpha 6. What happened to Alpha 5?

He, like, went with Zordon to some place. Wait, what happened to Zordon? Spoiler alert. Don't listen for the next 10 seconds. Zordon exploded and sacrificed himself to die to kill all evil, which didn't kill all evil, but just created new evil. What?

First off, pause. Zordon, don't listen for the next 10 seconds. Zordon died in the first Power Rangers movie and was brought back to life. You're telling me they killed him again? Yeah. And he converted Rita Repulsa and Zed into humans who became good.

Can I ask you a question? Yes. In my fantasy, Zed and Rita Repulsa converting to humans to become good just made them into Balkan Skull. And the whole thing, are you ready for this? Right. The whole series was actually two separate storylines. Oh, shit. And the Power Rangers freed Rita and Zed, making Balkan skull and the things that happen in Angel Grove

Are the present timeline and the ninja stuff is the past timeline. Holy shit Think about that changes everything that changes everything. That's the reason why all the Rangers and shit are so mean to him That's what people treat them so badly. Can they read and Zed. Think about it. Oh, my God. I think you're right. I know I'm right. I've never been more right. It makes perfect sense. Yeah, and then the shitty seasons start.

Power Rangers Turbo. Power Rangers Turbo kicked it off. But here's the thing with Turbo, right? Everybody said Turbo was the worst season. It at least gave me something to make fun of. All right. It started out there're like in star trek and then it kicked over to like justin who everybody hates justin he's like this little 10

year old kid the writers you know the writers did this they were like all right uh we're gonna try to relate to the kids we're gonna make a 10 year old a power ranger then all the 10 year olds could be like i'm a power ranger but it backfired because everybody hates Justin. I like how your writers are actually just kids themselves. I can't wait to make a new Power Ranger! Boy, Mr. Saban, I hope we get to... By the way, I've heard so many stories about that dude being like the scummiest

guy on planet Earth. Uh, Saban! I hear he's like really bad. The writer of Power Rangers? No, the owner of Power Rangers. Oh. Yeah, apparently he's like A really bad dude and screws Over all the Power Rangers oh like

I think during the movie the first Movie they all had to work for scale Even though they were like famous Power Rangers Like you'll work for scale and you'll like it What's that they didn't like pay them He paid them like minimum Minimum wage in order to do that movie, essentially. Wow.

That's the rumors I hear. That's pretty douche-tastic. I hear he's pretty much a douchebag, which is why he can keep making series because he doesn't pay anyone anything for it. They thought Ivan Ooze. That's what I'm saying. Actually, pause. Really? Bulk and Skull saved the day.

That's true. You know why? Because they were Rita and Zed and they saved the day. That's true. You know why? Because they were Rina and Zed, and they knew the plan! Oh, my God! Wow. All coming together. It's all coming together now. I want to be the one person listening right now who has never seen the Power Rangers,

and he's like, I don't know what the shit they're talking about. Dude, oh, my God. There's one episode, all right? Two episodes. One of those two episodes was Cassie, right? Cassie's my second favorite ranger behind Trini. Original OG yellow ranger. Did she die?

Yes. Did Trini die? She died in a car accident. What? Almost immediately. I heard she got in a car accident and almost died. And then she lived. And then she got in another car accident and died.

That's unfortunate. That's like if you were to get on the plane home from your one plane. No, God. Don't say that. don't say that. Don't say that. I have to travel a bunch. Don't do that. Don't put that on me.

You've already traveled again and lived. You're fine. Don't put that on me. How dare you? I knocked on wood. You're good. Even though it's like. I'm going to knock on all the wood.

This is like fake Ikea wood, but I think that's luckier. No, that makes it worse. Where was I going with this? Oh, yeah, so Cassie, right? Cassie has a dog. The dog gets zapped. What season is Cassie on? I gotta look up Cassie. I don't know Cassie. She's turbo into space. Cassie

turbo into space. And Cassie has this dog, and there's this monster that turns things into, like, animals. Oh, she's a pink ranger. Pink turbo ranger. Ew, her outfit sucks. No, she's yellow ranger.

What? It says Cassie pink turbo ranger. Oh, she might have been pink. I don't remember. Either way. She's my favorite, but there's Tracy Lynn Cruz and she was the yellow ranger. Wait, Tracy? Ashley. Yeah, and then was the Yellow Ranger. Wait, Tracy? As Ashley. Yeah. And then Patricia Jolly was Cassie.

And Tracy Lynn Cruz is Ashley. No, those are garbage Yellow Rangers. Yeah, those are garbage. What about Selwyn Ward as TJ? TJ? All right, here's the thing. I liked TJ, right? I was like, TJ's cool.

Then, this is one of the episodes I want to talk about. There's an episode where he has to hit a curveball. All right? This monster that gets summoned, all he does is throw curveballs. Like a baseball game. I don't know why, but okay, yeah. And for some reason, when in like real life, he's playing baseball, they're like, TJ's

so good, man. He's like going up to bat and then some guy comes out of nowhere, this pitcher guy, like, who's this kid? And he's like, I throw the best curveball around. And he throws a curveball. TJ can't hit it. Here's my problem. It was a hanging curveball. It was the easiest to hit home runs off of, like, ever.

And I was like, TJ, you're swinging at everything, too. Have some plate discipline. Just stop swinging. He's going to walk you. So TJ learns how to hit a curveball because the guy teaches him. And then he learns how to hit the monster's curveball, which I thought he would hit back at him and explode the monster but he hits it into space and then they just fight the monster dumb episode i didn't enjoy it here's the other episode okay the dog turns into a human and it

goes to cassie and it's like cassie do you know me and it just wants to like hang out with her and she's like wow you remind me of my dog or some shit. It was so dumb. Those are my two least favorite episodes, but they had Cassie in it. Great stuff. All right, then. Yeah. Yep. So that's enough Power Rangers, I think.

Definitely. My other thing. Here's some other stuff I wrote down. Grocery store magazines. All right. It reminded me of clickbait, and it made me think, how long have grocery store magazines been around? Like the tabloids. my god forever uh it's like i remember when there was do you remember weekly world news oh yeah i've seen those weekly world news was like the bad boy discovered like

all those things they're all fake and they're all clickbait that's they were the first clickbait those are the original clickbaits that's what it made me think of and i was like shit dude we've been we've been getting clickbaited for years absolutely yeah because you see those magazines my grandma bought a lot of those she'd be like oh bigfoot spotted and then like pick that up like bigfoot meets batboy i'd watch that movie i i look i'm huge fan of batboy he's a good guy batboy movie there do you think there is one there's got gotta be a Batboy movie. Batboy movie. Wait, Batboy movie trailer?

Whoa! In 2015, there's the original story of Batboy, now his infamous photo came to be. Oh my god. What? We need to see this movie. What? Cameron Andres as Batboy with Sean Quain Sean Quan as Blindy G.

There's a person named Blindy G in this? Blindy G. Oh, my God. There's a dude named Blindy G and a guy named Little Bull, and I want to see this movie. Sean Kwan. Batboy, Blindy G, Camera Boy, Stripe Boy, Big Boy, Blonde Boy, Brother Boy, Bully boy, and little bull.

Here's the crazy thing. Sean Kwan is in Riverdale Deadpool. He was in, like, these kids, like, in movies as, like, a little boy. Wait. This movie's only ten minutes long. Yeah, it says Bat Boy, ten minutes, short fantasy. What? Yeah, that's what it says.

Well, we have plenty of time to watch that. We need to find it. We need to find it and watch this. We need to find Batboy, the Canadian movie. Batboy. Black and white film. I'm totally in. It's got to be here.

Let's see. Batboy. There's a character named Blindy G. Get out of town. Blindy G. Old Blindy G. How can I not find this Bat? Now, there's Batboy that is like the kid in San Francisco went around

Right I believe yeah But that's not that's not the same. That's not this bad boy. Oh bad boys on Vimeo link it Oh my god. We can't watch it now. We watch it for the next thing. Yeah, I'll link it to you right now I don't Vimeo guys look up bat boy on Google and then scroll down. You'll see it on Vimeo. Oh my godboy on Google then scroll down you'll see it on Vimeo oh my god it is all here Cameron Andres as Batboy this is beautiful okay we'll watch that later we found it we're good now hell we're good now all right also here's another story yeah I was in Creighton barrel all right not sure why what were you doing there I was looking for a beer glass I was looking for crates

and or barrels. That too. A beer glass? Yeah. You know they have different glasses for beer. But why? To get a better taste. Sure. Okay. You know what? Sure. Yes. That's why they have the different shaped glasses.

I understand. Look. Okay. Sure. Yeah. So I was looking for that. And again, I don't know what it is with these people making out in public. There are these two Polish people. All right. How do you know they're Polish? Because they're speaking Polish. All right.

All right. Wait, they're speaking Polish while making out? Before they made out. And I was like, what do these Polish people do? I need to look something up. You tell the story. I'm looking this up. All right was walking they're walking i walked past them they're talking i was like they're probably talking about like what to buy i turn around

and they just start making out like in the in the like section where they sell like utensils and shit like melon ballers and they're just making out there and they're just like yeah like loud making out like not even the like just like quiet like oh yeah we're being sneaky like and i was like what the shit is going on over there and then they vanished i don't know where they went i think they just left or they like ascended into heaven uh-huh um can i ask you a question sure did any Sure. Did any of them say, Cześć po la kolach, usta moj mi ustami? I think that's racist. Well, no. It means, I want to kiss your mouth with my mouth.

I don't remember what they said. Well, then how did you know they were Polish? Because it sounded pretty Polish. That sounds racist. It sounded pretty Polish to me. I'm 25% Polish Well then you're only 25% No if that was Polish or not

I'm 25% sure that was Polish Alright good that's good enough for me It was Polish Yeah so that was part of that and I was like that was weird And then I kind of stopped and I listened to the other people Who were like people working there And I swear to god this woman working there was like So I made a potato bar obstacle course

what that's what i said a potato bar obstacle course yeah she said a potato bar obstacle course and i was like potato bar obstacle course at first i heard potato bar and she's like yeah potato bar obstacle course and then she started talking about little games to like play in the obstacle course but I couldn't hear the rest tell you can I tell you something mm-hmm apparently you can google potato bar obstacle course and a thing like stuff appears what she wasn't crazy I typed in potato bar and then started typing obstacle and it goes potato bar obstacle course and it linked me like to potato bars. I think this might be like a gym thing maybe.

I don't know. I don't. This has to be a rich person thing. Yeah, potato bar obstacle course. Like potato bars. Right. There's apparently things called potato bars that you use, like protein bars. And maybe there's an obstacle course with that.

You know what? We shouldn't have to look this up. She should just name things better is what I'm saying. This is on her. This isn't on us. Get your shit together, lady. We shouldn't have to look this up to figure out what the hell you're talking about. So a baked potato bar is like they got baked potatoes on the a little thing and it's got like toppings all around them are you

insinuating that she has an obstacle course to get those toppings it's got to be that's the only logical explanation if that's the case i think that sounds like this is the case humanity has hit its peak and it's only downhill from here if you have to fight your way to get like sour cream on a potato that sounds super fun love sour cream it's always been so easy if you want that sour cream on that potato you gotta work for it you gotta work for it just like the american dream my god it's all she truly is one of the greats that woman yeah so that was my crate and barrel journey that was literally in a span of like five minutes too i. I just walked around, and I didn't like any of the glasses, so I left. Also, the last thing, we went to Medieval Times.

Of course you did. Have you ever been to Medieval Times? I have not. Oh, my God! How have you not been to Medieval Times? Because I respect myself. It was just like the Ren Faire Yeah which is I haven't gone

I've been to one Renaissance Faire and boy did I hate it Medieval times Okay alright You get You know what I feel like the only thing missing Is going with you I feel like if I went with you The experience would be a little bit better

I would appreciate it more I think you would You can't just go with any normal person you the experience would be a little bit like i would appreciate it more i think you would you can't just go with like you know any like normal person if they're just gonna be like normies don't get it yeah normies don't get it they're just gonna be like oh boy it's a day on a weekend that i get to have some little fun you gotta you gotta go with somebody that's gonna really appreciate what's going on gotcha okay medieval times so you get in there first things first they uh they take a picture they like force you to take a picture brilliant marketing so they're like hey look it's

a sword and a stone right and they're like grab the sword and stand by it and you're like what okay and then they take your picture and then an hour later when you're sitting down they come by and they're like hey look it's your picture you want to buy it and you're like and some people say yes i say no because i'm like no i don't want my picture i can do that myself and so i didn't get it but here's the thing they make a lot of money on alcohol a lot of money on alcohol so i was like what do i want they had like miller light ye old miller light so i got one of those. $8. It's like I was at a Cubs game. $8? For a Miller Lite?

Yeah, for a Miller Lite. Man, we're making a premium on that. You can buy like a 24-pack of Miller Lites for $8. But you got to get it because you're there and you're like, well. Did they have nothing else? Was it just ye old Miller Lite? They had ye old Miller Lite.

They had some other like brown ale. They had Sam Adams seasonal i hate sam adams seasonal things i hate any seasonal thing and then they had a angry orchard and then you sit down you get your food right they bring food to you and you eat it with your hands like a medieval person just like it yeah yeah they give you chicken they give you a potato they give you and they... You just ate a potato with your hands? Yeah. They give you half a potato. You're hardcore. You're hardcore.

Wait, they only give you half a potato? They cut it in half. They can't even give you a whole potato? They gotta feed like 800 people. That's stupid. If I'm gonna go there and buy your stupid damn photo and pay $8 for a drink, I want a whole potato. Well, they give you a half potato, a chicken. They give you soup. All right. They give you potato. Well, they give you a half potato, a chicken. They give you soup.

They give you garlic bread. And they give you a dessert thing. They give you some coffee. It's a great experience. When do you drink coffee? Like at the end when you're like, well, that was a fight. Yeah, at the end, they give you coffee. If you want coffee. You don't need it. And then you get your server lady, like takes care of your little section.

But then, she or he also has to go down into the arena like, arena and carry a flag as, like, a squire. They have to, like, do two jobs. And they probably only get paid minimum wage. But, like, are they sexy wenches or what are they? Some of them are. She even said at the start, she's like, I'll be your wench. And she was our wench.

Yo. Yo. All right. Maybe I'm in. Maybe i'm in now there you go uh you're starting to win me over then huge fan of wench then you like you get put into sections right so you got various sections and they're color-coded so we were in the yellow section so we got the yellow knight and the yellow knight he was cool but the green knight the yellow knight. And the yellow knight, he was cool. But the green knight. The yellow knight, like of all the knights you could get, you got the yellow knight.

Dude, the green knight kind of looked like me. So I wanted the green knight to win. But he didn't either. And so they like do their little show. They got horses. The horses dance around. Then they're like blah, blah, blah. And then they're like, we need to battle.

And then they all fight. They like fight each other. And like they got swords. they got like ball and chain things it's crazy but it's like you know it's like a kid's it's also like for kids too so like you know they they like they make it g-rated there's no like blood there's no crazy stuff and then one of the knights ends up winning and he fights the bad guy and that's it and you get a little show oh there's a bad guy there's a bad guy is it a black knight i think he is actually i think he is a black knight um so wait why can't i be on the black knight's team i bet he has i bet he could win one day you can but you can always hold up the hope he's gonna win one day but one day he could and then like the knights go outside when it's all over you take pictures

with them and stuff I was reading a reddit thing and apparently they get hit on a lot And they're like I banged a few of the princesses in my day That's what they said There's like a king And a princess and all that type of stuff too And they're like ah yes begin the feast

And they do that type it's like a show It's like you're at the theater I love that there's a culture where the knights are just like, yeah, bring on the no princesses. That is really sad is what that is. So the main thing is, after all this, it's good, right? You have fun. But I was like,

I want a like 18 plus medieval times. I want there to be like gore. I've wanted that. Like a battle. Yes. Yeah, like crazy shit. We've said this before. Bring back coliseums. Yes. Man, would I love

gladiatorial combat. Gladiator times. It could happen. I don't know what's gonna happen in the future. That's possible. I'm very excited for it. I would watch a gladiator combat show every day. I would too. gladiator combat show every day. I would, too. I think, you know what?

We need to first bring back American Gladiators, a phenomenal show, and that's a stepping stone to just gladiator gladiators in which people kill each other. And we'll start the Hunger Games. I cannot wait. I can't either. It's going to be great. I want to be, if the Hunger Games were real, I feel like I'd be that one announcer guy. Yeah.

Hunger Games. That'd be me. I'd be that guy. I wouldn't be one of those people protesting in the streets. I wouldn't be like the three-finger Mockingjay people. I'd be like, what are you going to do? That guy on fire. I'd be that.

I would show up to be your like the analyst guy. I'd be like, well are you going to do, Captain Somerade? That guy's on fire. I'd be just – I would show up to be your, like, the analyst guy. I'd be like, well, down there we've got Henry. He's standing at 6'1". He's got some strength. He can use a crossbow like I've never seen before. I haven't seen a crossbow user. There was that other guy, the guy with the curly white hair in the movies who would always just sit there and not say a thing. You could be that guy. And I would just be like, I'm that guy. And I was like, she's gorgeous.

Ah, I love it. Ah, I want to. Oh, my God. I want to be Stanley Tucci. What I'm saying is I want to be Stanley Tucci. I hear that. Put put a wig on me and let's go to town. Medieval times.

Blue. Oh, oh, my God. Contact us. Medieval times. We're going to make you money. We will go to all your shows and broadcast live on Twitch as the characters from The Hunger Games.

If you let us do that, I'll pay you to let us do that. Boy, would that be good. That would be like my dream. That's my new dream. That's a yellow knight. Oh, what a feisty one. That yellow knight.

I haven't seen a yellow light like that since the sun. A yellow night, though? Now that's a different story. That's right, pal. I want it so badly. I do, too. All right, that's all I got for news stuff from me. Okay.

People had to wait a long time for this But they're gonna be excited They're gonna be excited This is a story I promised last week And I feel like everyone needs to know Man jailed for selling golden tickets to heaven Seeks freedom Oh shit I cannot confirm this story

I don't care I don't care if it's fake Tito and Amanda Watts Were recently jailed For selling golden tickets to heaven to hundreds of people in Jacksonville. The couple misrepresented their product by telling buyers the tickets were made from solid gold when, according to police, the tickets to heaven were actually spray-painted pieces of wood made from cut-up 2x4. We were contacted by Jim Troubles, a close friend of Tito's, who agreed to relay a jailhouse letter from Mr. Watts. I'm going to try and read this the best I can.

It is a Tito Watts letter, so bear with me. All right. Dear friends, I know my story has been seen by many people. The police say I did something illegal, but the tickets were solid gold given to me by the real Jesus. I swear to God. Instead, police has framed me by making fake golden tickets made of wood saying they're mine. They're not. I don't lie, L-Y-E.

Because they know I'm going to win election for president of the United States in 2016 and legalize crack cocaine and LSD. I smoke crack and I'm not ashamed. It's healthy. Police pigs don't want me to make rock cocaine legal because they have to fire a bunch of badge bunnies to make their living busting drug users.

I don't know what any of this means. Badge bunnies? Badge bunnies. I just picture rabbits hopping around with badges. It's basically the plot of Zootopia. It is. Do you think he just saw Zootopia? He probably did.

He thinks that's what reality is. These badge bunnies running around arresting good, upstanding citizens. Isn't this the land of the free? Why can't good citizens freebase cocaine? The devil's in blue going to try and send me to prison for a long time in drug and fraud charges. I also think they've been with my wife. I had a dream they did. Uh-huh.

You tell the police I'm innocent. Please protest Jacksonville jail and send Jacksonville Sheriff's Office letters, emails, and texts demanding they let me out so I can make this country a better place when I am president. I know you're all good people and care about my injustice and wants to help me. Tito Watts. And then he left a hashtag. Hashtag free Tito. All right. Hold on.

I got to look this up. I don't think anyone has ever used the hashtag free Tito. I don't think that's happened. Free 20, free slime, free bro, free Tito, free five. Fuck 12. says Ken. Suck up, Kendrick. Okay, so I looked up free Tito, and going down the list of, I guess we could do latest, but my favorite one is the very first thing that appears at the top is,

Tito from jail, keep calling me. I don't know, Tito. Hashtag free Tito. Latest, though, hashtag free T Tito There's a bunch of them My dumbass brother is locked up hashtag free Tito Free Tito Tito out Yeah there's a lot of free Titos There's one that's a photo of

What the hell It's like a creepy doll on a hot dog car And it says free Tito What oh my god Right What is that It's like a creepy doll on a hot dog car, and it says Free Tito. What? Oh, my God. Right? What is that? That's what nightmares are made of is what that is.

Jesus. It looks like Chucky, too. It looks like if Chucky fixed himself up a bit. Oh, my God. I feel like a lot of these aren't R-Tito, though. Yeah, they're not R-Tito. What the hell? Scroll down a little bit more, and there is a guy dressed like the Joker feeding a hot dog out of his pants to a woman who's eating it.

Oh, my God, there is. What is happening? And she's like, I don't know. I don't even know why I'm doing this. I don't know what's happening. What is happening right now? But she said, excited, awaiting start of bingo bango show. Now I have to click that hashtag. What start of bingo bango show. Now I have to click that hashtag. What's the bingo bango show?

We're going down a deep hole right now. What is this? The bingo bango show. This is where the hot dog thing's from. Yes. Oh, my God. Wiener Patrol is ready to bango. Oh, shit.

What is going on I clicked I clicked that picture And I'm even more worried now It's like a Michael Jackson puppet Question mark With a Oscar Mayer wiener That looks really

Disgustingly stained And then a Creepy doll that says hashtag free tito i don't know what's happening right now this is okay we're so the first ever hashtag bingo bango show was desiree michelasco in 2011 yeah it says bingo bango show yeah and then nothing until january of this year with bingo bango show Here's the crazy thing. The Bingo Bango Show, almost every single tweet is by the same

person. Yeah, and the only other person is Milroy. What the many levels of shit. Gobble Gobble Edition. Oh my god. You click the Instagram link and we go to Milroy's thing and it's that picture you just talked about. This is horrifying.

Everything about this is scary. Oh, my God. Click go to the actual Instagram. It's a bunch of shit that says hashtag free Tito. It's like Rudolph, a doll. What is this? What is this? There's also something called the Wowie Zowie Show, which is, I think, a burlesque show?

There's definitely boobs involved. I'm okay with this. It's only 15 tickets on sale for $10? Where is this happening at? That's a steal. That's a steal. I'd pay $40 for Medieval Times. Man, you can...

Oh, my God. There's a video. I think this is a burlesque... Oh, there's a strip video on here. What? Oh, my God. This is the best thing I've ever seen what is going on are they part of the bingo bango show? No, they're part of the wowie zowie show a classic mix-up. I don't know

What is How far back is this this is yeah, I'm going I'm going all the way down going to'm going to the bottom. There we go. All the way down. This is from 206 weeks ago. Rain or shine, it's bingo time. With a weird doll with an umbrella hat. Okay, so this says, the Rocket Doll Review presents the Titty 500 Indies greatest spectacle of burlesque. So I feel like this takes place in Indiana, which does explain a lot, actually. All right.

There's a lot to be explained here. You're going to have to come to me. We're going to drive down to Indiana. We have to go to the... We're going to go to the Bingo Bingo Show. They're on the news. They're on... Wait, they're on the news?

There is a thing here of them playing rock, paper, scissors on the nightly news in Indiana. Oh, my God. It's gone too far. This we need to see. We need to go to this. What the shit is this? This is like if Japan came to America levels. This is so crazy.

The crowd, it looks like at White at white Rabbit cab what's white rabbit cab Pages are even available Oh my god At m4 Mb m4 Mb I feel like if we go to this We're gonna die whoa There is what

The hell is happening right now There is videos Of like women swinging swinging From ceilings and guys playing bongos and shit. It looks like this is a very small venue. People are standing around watching this go down. We could do this. We could go there and we should have our first official U.S. meetup at this place. Oh my god.

We need to invite everyone there. You guys got to come to the Bingo Bango show In Indiana We need to find this place and then go to it And see the Bingo Bango show We do We need a crowd in there Although the last time someone mentioned it was

January 20 something I don't know what's going on Bingo Bango They may be extinct at this point. They could very well be done. We were talking about Tito Watson. Now we're talking about something entirely different. Yeah, we went down a hole.

A deep hole. I'm okay with it. Alright, well, let's go to Traffic Over Something's Got the Creditor. Creditor, how's that traffic out there? Traffic out there? Let me tell you something about the traffic out there. It's always? Let me tell you something about the traffic out there. It's always out there, and it's going to be out there for a long time because people love to drive. How's it going?

I'm Crandor with the traffic. You take a look down there at the I-45. That's going to be clogged up with people going to the Bingo Bango show. I myself would be down there, but I'm just the chopter copter over there and i'm gonna see it for myself get a nice sky view so that if anything goes down i can just fly away also if you take a look at the i-298 you're going to see that uh the bingo bango crew has taken over the road and stopped traffic there's an angry man out there i believe believe it's Sting. Sting has actually got out of his car and started singing, but nobody knows who he is because it's Sting.

And I don't know where to go from here. Back to you. Thanks Crendor! Now let's go over to Crendor at the weather desk. Crendor, how's that weather? Weather is looking good. But let's kick it over to Woppy. Woppy!

Woppy, out of it! Woppy, I'm in. 7, 4, 1, 5, 4. Tawas City, Michigan. No, no, we already did Tawas City. We've already been to Tawas City. Hold on, hold on. It just registered the past thing. He's just stupid.

We got yelled at for Tawas City last time because people were like, that's not where Tahawas City is. 9, 4, 5, 8, 7. Union City. Union City. 55 degrees. Wait, where's Union City? Union City where? Union City, California.

55. I was about to say Union City sounds like one of the post-apocalyptic cities that we broadcast out of. Welcome to Union City. From Union City. Union City, California. 55 degrees

Fahrenheit. Feels like 52 degrees Fahrenheit. High 49 degrees Fahrenheit. Feels like 52 degrees Fahrenheit. High, 49 degrees Fahrenheit. UV index, zero of 10. Tonight, clouds. Early, clearing. Late, 20 degrees. 20% rain. Monday, 63 degrees Fahrenheit.

10% rain. Humidity, 84%. UV index, zero. Sunrise, 7.01 a.m. 10% rain. 7.25 p.m. Wappy down. 10% rain.

Yeah, 10% rain. 10% rain. Okay. Still, you know, if you get a robot of this caliber, it's going to have some goof-ups. Yeah, yeah. No, I understand. I understand. I get it.

Technology. Whoa, it's crazy. He's been around for a while, but, you know, you still got to do your tweaks. There's bugs in everything. You play, look at WoW. WoW's still got bugs. It's been out, like, 80 years. WoW is just like Woppy.

Yeah, it's just like Woppy. Yeah, it's just like Woppy. Just like it. Just like him. That's the weather. All right, let's go over to the sports desk. Grendor, what's going on sports? Sports! Over at the sports desk, we're looking at some crazy stuff. Much like last time, NFL draft growing closer and closer.

I am growing more and more excited for that NFL draft. Also, it looks like the Bills are going to fire their GM, Whaley, because somehow the Bills can't make the playoffs for like 25 years. Also, Adrian Peterson, nobody wants him because he wants like a billion dollars. It looks like the Jets signed Josh McCown. Tony Romo, Texans or retirement Also, kick it over to the NBA Hold on, before we move on

What's going on with Kaepernick? Is he like, does no one want him now? Nobody wants him First thing, because of all the issues he brings up Right? Second thing, because he's not good He has terrible mechanics he throws a lot of interceptions he's very inaccurate he was good back in his like rookie year because he could

scramble and like do some crazy shit and make throws but that's all out the window he doesn't run as well he's not as accurate he's just not good anymore that's why nobody wants him but people are making it out to be like nobody nobody wants him because he wants change, man. It's like, no, he's just not good. Also, kicking over the NBA, we're getting close to the playoffs. And it looks like Cleveland, Boston, Washington, Toronto, those are all the good teams in the East. In the West, Golden State, San Antonio, Houston, Utah, the Clippers. Wow, the West is a lot better than the East.

Yeah, it always is. Yeah. I miss the 90s Bulls. Those were the days. Those were the days of the East. And in the NHL, it's getting close to the playoffs as well. Good old NHL playoffs coming in. We got Washington, Columbus, Pittsburgh, all clinching stuff.

And it looks like Montreal, Ottawa, Toronto. And then the Rangers and Boston holding the final spots. In the West, we got the Chicago Blackhawks. They're going to win the Stanley Cup. Minnesota, it's going to happen. Not happening. Stop living that dream. Let it go.

Let it go. It's not. It's San Jose, Anaheim, Edmonton, Calgary, and St. Louis. Los Angeles trying to squeak in, but they're not in right now. Not looking too good for them. Congratulations, Canada, because they have not had any playoff teams in forever, except for Montreal, and now they're actually getting some teams in there. So good on them.

Yeah, go Canada. Oh, Canada. Our home and native land. Oh, Canada. Whoa, the Toronto Maple Leafs? That's Go Canada. Oh, Canada. Our home and native land. Oh, Canada. Whoa, the Toronto Maple Leafs? That's what I'm saying, dude. They've been like the Cubs. They haven't won in like 80 years.

This could be their year. This could be the Leafs' year. Except the Blackhawks are in wins this year. Grab yourself a Labatt. Grab yourself a Blue Boys. It could be time for the Leafs to win. Yeah, I feel bad for Washington. They always get the most points.

They do the best, and then they just lose in the first round they've done that like five times yep that's true uh and that's sports all right krendor what is our big news story of the day big news story of the day wait what i don't think you should be confused by a new story Well I clicked the thing And it says man named Grabher Is appalled he can't have A Grabher license plate

I did see that I saw I'm not sure I understand what it means I think his last name is Grabher And he's mad that his license plate Can't say Grabher Yeah I think that's what it is I think that last name is Grabber, and he's mad that his license plate can't say Grabher. Yeah, I think that's what it is. I think that's the story, is this guy just has a terrible last name, and for some reason he doesn't see the problem with putting his last name on his license plate

that literally just says Grabher. Yeah. What's the big deal? I don't get it. It's just my last name. Of course, when he got that license plate, he He was like this is going to be funny as hell Oh man people are going to look at me when I drive down the road And be like oh that guy's naughty

I get it Wild parrots raid India Poppy fields to get high On opium That's the one That's the story Hold on there's also breakfast hero Eats pancakes in middle of road like it's no big deal.

We need both. All right. We're going to need both of these. All right. We'll start on the parrot raid. Okay. Polly wants something stronger than a cracker these days. A lot stronger.

What's with these articles? Good lead in. Very good. Now I'm into your article. stronger. Wild parrots have been raiding poppy fields in India in order to get high on the flowers opium. As can be seen in the video above, the dope craving birds will sit perched on trees near the poppies until workers slip open the pods to help the plants ripen quicker. The parrots, numbering in the the hundreds have learned not to squawk they swoop down nibble off the stalks and fly back to the trees where they nod off for hours sometimes even falling to their deaths once they have once they have their fill they sit on trees

and sleep there for hours some of them can be seen circling or staggering before falling from the trees due to overdose of opium kishore kumar docker a poppy farmer in western india told odisha 360 no one knows why these wild parrots are so high in opium but the problem started in 2015 at the poppy fields near the city of chittorgarh nobody knows why those parrots get high might just be because they want to get high it's the stupidest story nobody knows why those parents want to get high that's like it's like nobody knows why those kids in high school get high they just they just do it and i don't know why i love that quote. That would be my favorite quote of the year. Nobody knows why those parrots get high. Holy shit.

That's a great quote. That's a tombstone quote right there. There's so much. There's so much. The underlying in that quote. That quote is so juicy. The underlying in that quote, that quote is so juicy. Like, it has the connotation that parents, one, are getting high.

Two, we've tried to figure out why parents are getting high. Three, the studies have resulted in no knowledge of why these parents are getting high. Maybe it's emotional. There's so much in there. Also, did, like, one of the people ask, like, one of the news people, like, so why do these parrots want to get high Were they asking that You know they had to Why do these parrots come out of the jungle Or forest or wherever

And then eat the poppy Why would they want to get high You know that I don't know why they want to get high I imagine that It's opium So they were like well well, that was good. And then jump back.

I don't. They're parrots. I feel like that's all there was to it. They're like, well, I feel good now. So I guess I'll go back and get more. They're just instinctual animals. They're just like, that felt good. Let's go get more good feeling.

That's got to be it. That's literally it. I don't know. I'm no scientist, but I feel like they didn't have like a, my parrot mom and dad didn't love me, and now I have parrot resentment. The only way I can feel parrot good about my parrot self is by eating lots

and lots of poppies. Forget about pain. Yeah, I'm just, I'm filled with so much pain. Having to fly every day past my ex-girlfriend's house, it's so sad. Parrots have started stealing Xanax from the humans. It's becoming a problem. More at 11.

Next year's going to be parrots up in trees, lighting up. Just like, what up, brother? Listening to Bob Marley. If you hear parrots listen to Marley, they've gone too far. Oh, my God. Hold on. It gets better. Now, the opium-loving parrots have also taken over knee much a town 40 miles away according to the Daily Mail

Wait, they've just taken over a town? They've taken over a town! I love these parrots It's just like people hunt it in their homes. It's like the parrots are coming Guys drugs that just proves drugs are not good. Parrots took over a town. A town has been taken over by drugged out parrots. There's got to be a movie made out of this. It doesn't matter if it's a gang or if it's parrots.

Drugs will ruin your town. That's the moral of this story. The opioid crisis Is for the birds in more ways than one Besides problems parrots face With monkeys on their back Local farmers are also suffering The Indian government requires farmers

To provide a pre-agreed quantity Of opium annually for medicinal use And the drug addled parrots are cutting Into their earnings according to Sobharam Rathad An opium farmer from Nimuch Heled parrots are cutting into their earnings, according to Sobraram Rathad, an opium farmer from Nimuch. He estimated parrots are stealing around 10% of his crop, according to the Mirror. Buzz60 notes in the video above that farmers have tried everything from firecrackers to beating tin drums and hurling stones,

but nothing keeps these parrots from their fix. Hopefully, other animals won't parrot these birds. Oh, boy. You know what? I hope they do. I hope. I hope they do, too. Some badgers get in there.

Let them get high, dude. Let these parrots get high. Yeah, don't tell animals they can't get high. Yeah. Don't do that. Yeah. You know what? If animals want to ruin their own lives, let them.

They're animals. Yeah, they're animals, dude. What else? What else? They don't have jobs. They don't have anything, they're animals. They don't have jobs. They don't have anything else going for them. They have no responsibilities. If animals want to get messed up on drugs, let them.

That's all they got going for them. It's only 10% of your crop. If you have kids, don't do drugs. But if you're an animal with kids, I don't give a shit. Get your animal kids on drugs. Get your whole animal family on drugs. Get them all on drugs.

Yeah, yeah. See, I don't have to live with drugged out animals. Although, if drugged out animals came to my town, I'd probably have a different opinion on this. That's true. If they started taking over. Oh, God. Now I'm a little worried. You know what?

Stay away from drugged animals. Just say no, parrots. Oh, that's how we do it! We need to get... We need to put the parrots on the dare program? Yes, because parrots mimic things, right? So we need to have people go out into the fields and go, no, no, no. And then all the parrots will only

know how to say no! Whoa. Problem solved. Say no to the opium. Say no to drugs, parrots! Problem Problem solved we figured it out Dude the 10% thing reminded me I hate when I go to the store And they want you to sign up for their shitty rewards card And they're like you'll save 5%

I'm like I'm buying like a $10 thing So I'm gonna save like Nothing Why would I want to sign up for their shitty rewards program Cause I think they say over time it pays off But really they use it to track what you buy so they can give you ads that benefit, like, that focus you. Yeah, it's stupid. Here's the thing, I don't care.

I like ads that focus me. I do like ads that focus me as well. That's an ad for me? Cool, thank you. If anything, I found a lot of great things through ads. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, most of my Google ads are links to awesome porn, so that so that's cool yeah i just get guys eating pancakes in the middle of the road all right yeah we need to move on to this story speaking of which breakfast hero eats

pancakes in middle of road like it's no big deal he brought a table chairs and plenty of syrup if you ever get a craving for pancakes here's's a pro tip. You probably shouldn't eat them in the middle of traffic. A Florida man, Florida man, is facing charges of placing an obstruction in the roadway and disrupting the free flow of traffic after allegedly eating breakfast in the middle of a busy Lakeland street Tuesday morning. Let me drop this picture over.

All right, because you got to get a good image here. Here we are. Oh, boy. Okay. He's going ham on those pancakes. He is. I don't know why he has a fork. He is not even worried about it.

He's brought an entire jug of that maple syrup. The best part is I love his pajama pants. I love his little TV dinner tray. I love that he's just in the middle of the street. No shirt. He don't give a shit. Gold chain. He's going ham.

He's just tearing into that pancake. I love this dude. I love this dude. So eyewitnesses photograph 21-year-old Kiaran Thomas sitting in a chair in the crosswalk with a small TV table in front of him, according to the Lakeland Police Department. The suspect is seen wearing green pajama pants and fuzzy slippers. The table in front of him holds a bottle of syrup, a plate containing a complete breakfast, bacon, eggs, and, of course, pancakes. Officers were called to the scene, but apparently Thomas fed and fled.

He was gone by the time they arrived. However, they were able to identify Thomas after someone tagged him in a Facebook video and forwarded it to the department. Why you gotta do that? You ratted him out so quick, Internet. You ratted this man out so quick. He's just trying to eat breakfast in the street. Yeah, he didn't do anything wrong.

Video appears below, and the filmmakers can't stop laughing while commenting how that shit looks good. It does! They're right! That looks like a great pancake. I get why he's chowing down. Hold on, I'm going to link you this video.

Oh, God, it's very loud. Hold on. They are... He's literally holding up traffic. This is incredible. He's just in the middle of the road. You know what? Sometimes breakfast's so good, you've got to eat just the middle of the road. You know what? Sometimes breakfast's so good, you gotta eat it in the middle of the road.

I get this, man. I do. I've sometimes eaten something so good, I wouldn't go out in the street and just eat it in front of people. You don't even know how good this is. Like, not even gonna lie. If I was in that car, I would just be sitting there watching them. I'd be so thrilled to experience watching him I'd be so Thrilled to experience this I'd be applauding

This is something you don't see everyday This is like that time you and I went to that breakfast place And a guy walked in and just randomly Started hitting on this girl It was like are you my blind date And she's like who are you And then his friend's like he's drunk come with us It was 7 in the morning or something.

She was just like so scarred and scared of what happened. She's like, what just happened? He's just like, all right, I got to get out of here now. It's like, all right, I got to go. See you later. And everyone in the restaurant was like looking at her. She's like, I don't know that man. It was so funny.

That's a once in a lifetime experience. That's like this. That's like this guy. That's just like this. That's a once-in-a-lifetime experience. That's like this. That's just like this. That's like this guy. This guy took the time out of his life to give the person in that car and the person in that truck the single greatest story they'll ever have to tell anyone. And all they did was drive around them and leave. Yeah, all they did was drive.

They didn't do anything, and they were part of the greatest story they'll ever tell their grandkids. When they got home, you know what they said? You want to know what happened to me today? That's what I'm saying. They are going to tell this story to their friends. Well, they're just going to make some asshole block me in traffic using breakfast. I don't think so. I don't think so. If he was just

sitting there, that's an asshole. If he was sitting there with a thing of maple syrup, that's a little weird. Probably a creepy person. But it's a dude eating breakfast. There's nothing weird about it. I see nothing wrong with it. Here's the thing.

I feel like if they already went around him, right, I feel like in their mind, they're going to be like, this guy's blocking me from getting to my destination. This is an asshole. And they're going to go home and be like, some guy blocked me in traffic today just eating. they're not even gonna get to the full story they're gonna be like a lot of these article writers they're like man sits in street needs breakfast or whatever but if it was some cool people they'd be like dude i just saw a guy eat

breakfast in the road and it was amazing I'm not gonna lie I would pull up And I would ask him where he got that from And if he said like my mom made it Or my girl made it or I got it down the street I'd be like can I get some of that Hell yeah Like can she make me some Maybe he made it she'd be like you made that dude

And he could be like yeah I made this I'm like I would love for you to make me breakfast I've never seen a man look so happy to eat breakfast in my life you have no gotta be good it's gotta be good it's gotta be good that pancake looks great and i it looks like it kind of has the mortal kombat logo on it oh whoa it does right yeah mortal kombat pancakes he was was fighting Shang Tsung out there. Man, this makes perfect sense now. Now, officers determined he lived approximately 100 yards south of the intersection and paid him a visit.

He allegedly admitted he ate the pancakes in traffic as a prank. Officers charged Thomas with traffic obstruction charges, but he was not arrested. He is due in court on April 25th. Hopefully, he will eat before entering the courtroom. I say don't. I say go in with a plate full of pancakes. Be like, your honor, it's my God-given right as an American to eat some damn pancakes. He's got to do it.

He's got to walk into that courtroom, pull out that table, put his breakfast down, and start eating. He needs to have a briefcase. He opens the briefcase and pulls out a plate and pulls out pancakes and a big thing of syrup and pours it on, closes the briefcase, puts his dish on top of the briefcase and

eats pancakes. That's how the story ends. He's like, Your Honor, I'd like to present my evidence. And he just opens the briefcase full of pancakes. And I'm pretty sure there's no law against that either. I am positive there is not. I don't think there's anything that says you can

eat, you can't eat in court. If there is, America's legal system is down the tubes. It is our fundamental right as citizens to be able to eat in court. That's the hill I'm willing to die on. I'm going to run for. That is no doubter. I'm going to run for Congress based like,

my name's Jesse Cox, and I'm running for Congress. Have you ever wanted to eat in court? They say it's illegal. I'll be damned, not in my America. There's three things I believe in. Death, taxes, and the ability to eat a good breakfast in a courtroom. I'm Jesse Cox, and I approve to eat a good breakfast in a courtroom. I'm Jesse Cox and I approve this message.

I'd vote for you. I want to eat breakfast in a courtroom. Damn right. Damn right. Yep, there you go. That's it. Alright, well that's it. Thank you so much for watching. And as always,

beep, to be continued.