Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 135 -The Mystery of the Man Upstairs

Episode Date: July 10, 2017

Cox n' Crendor return and this time Crendor brings his stories of Target people! Also Jesse again petitions to join the illuminati. Then the boys discover AND SOLVE a mystery! It's true! All this and more, on episode 135 of Cox n' Crendor!

Hello everybody, it's time for Cocks and Crendor in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4 hour 40 studio. Recording. Wake your ass up, it's Cocks and Crendor in the morning. Cocks and Crendor in the morning. Hello everybody, welcome back to Cocks and Crendor in the morning. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to Cron D'Or in the morning.

Welcome back to Cron D'Or. You're still on this, huh? You're still on this. Yeah. So Cron D'Or's been throat singing. Mongolian. I'm sorry. Mongolian throat singing.

Yeah. As if there was any other. That New Jersey throat singing. Ay, yous guys. Can you imagine? You're in the medieval ages or something. You're just chilling in your hut

making a fire, having a soup. Are we Mongolian? What are we right now? And you hear the Mongolian horn. Wait, okay. Yeah. You're just we right now? And you hear the Mongolian horn. Hold on. Wait. Okay. Yeah. You're just chilling in your hut. And you hear like...

But like all in harmony of like a thousand Mongolian horse riders. I told you. It'd be like cicadas. I'm telling you. It'd be like a weird cicada army, but they got archers on horses. The funniest part is what I'm picturing, I guarantee, is not what you're picturing. What? A cicada army?

What about Mongolians on cicadas? That'd be worse. That'd be like... It'd be the worst noise. People, they'd never be able to take any hostages because people have run days in advance. They already have left the village. People would be like, ah, damn Mongolians are coming again. All right, pack up kids.

They'll be here in a week. Just in the distance, like. Did they just like do that for fun or was that their actual war cry? See, I thought where you were going to go with the story Is imagine you were in a hut And then you just said to yourself like What if we start making weird noises with our throat I want to know the origin

There's got to be, hold on, I'm looking this way There's got to be an origin Mongolian, not barbecue, throat singing Wow that's right under barbecue Tuvan throat singing, That's close enough. There's a bunch of, oh, there's the chest voice. Chest voice, that's like what

TB is. I'm talking, yes, chest voice. Yeah, that's just TB. He's like, oh, oh, like I can't even. Hello everyone. My voice is coming from my chest now. See?

I like that. Yeah. That's pretty good. I don't see where it comes from, though. Animalistic worldview, objects of nature. An example is the Mongolian story of the waterfall above the Deer River, where mysterious harmonic sounds are said to have attracted deer, and where it says harmonic sounds first revealed itself to people.

Indeed, the cultures in this part of Asia have developed many instruments and techniques to mimic those sounds. Oh, so maybe that's where it came from? Oh. Maybe they were trying to mimic the sounds of nature or harmonic sounds? That sounds like it'd be a real thing. Yeah. I just wish there was a, you know, like a cool story that a long time ago, a man named Phil. Phil the Mongolian was like traveling and he met a ancient dragon named Steve. Steve the Dragon.

Of Mongolia. And yeah, Steve the Mongolian Dragon. And they They You know like I want a mystical story I don't want like Truthfully we believe That the harmonic sounds Are first real to the people

By nature In the waters Sure okay But that's not like a cool story I feel like that's That's the entirety of humanity It's like Really boring stories

Covered up with cool stuff Yeah really boring stories Covered by cool Like crazy shit It's like really boring stories Covered by cool like crazy shit It's like uh We have arms because Uh you know We need them

But like no we got arms To fight off the aliens From 8000 BC That invaded It makes sense Yeah That's gonna be one person who's, we did have arms to fight the aliens. Speaking of crazy stories that cover up a little bit more boring stuff, I went and saw King Arthur.

Oh, yeah. I heard that was bad. Here's the thing. I disagree. I actually really enjoyed it. And you know why I enjoyed it? Why? It straight up is like imagine sam

strippen okay discovering he's a witcher getting all of his chavvy boys from london town in a gang and then going out to fight a demon that's straight up what the movie is it was really entertaining i wouldn't say it's good i wouldn't say it's like a great film kind of like it was super entertaining it was entertaining yeah it's one of those like B grade It's good because it's bad Yeah like some things happen And I was like what the hell Okay whatever I think it's the closest I'll ever get to seeing the Witcher

On the big screen The minute he pulls out that sword He has magical powers He's like flinging dudes through the air with the sword And it looks cool as hell And I was like alright I'm into this movie The best part was I thought it was going to be a loners theater because you're right everyone said it was everyone said it was crappy yeah i was in the theater it was myself maybe 30 other people

not a crowded theater yeah but all 30 of them were going ham on this movie at one point he fights off like a dozen dudes and he finally you you know, one of those moments where he learns his powers. And in the background, everyone's like, yeah! Oh, damn! And I was like, this is the greatest movie watching experience I've ever had. I was so happy to be

in this theater. Everyone was jamming on this film. Every time anything happened that was even remotely cool, this lady in the back would go, and I loved her for it. It was so good. She doesn't even care what anyone thinks of her. She's just giving her genuine reactions

to the movie. Right? Our dear friend Davis, that is him. Every time we see any comic book, anything, really any movie that excites him, he will get so excited that he'll stand up and be like, oh, my God. And do a little dance. He'll be like, did you see that?

Everyone just looks at him and just accepts that's who he is. And then every once in a while stare over at his girlfriend. She'll be like, that's my boyfriend. I love it. I love it. He's just a big kid. Yes. I want to. I love it. He's just a big kid. Yes. I want to get back to that.

I would love to just appreciate things on that level and get so excited. I can get excited about stuff, but I'll never be, oh, man. I'm so good. I'll never be that way. Oh, yeah. I never will either. I don't think I ever was, to be honest. I feel like it was beaten out of me probably in high school when it became

Uncool to enjoy things yeah, I think that's for me I think that's when it ended when I was just like I can't be into stuff because If I if I like things that people think I'm lame, and I'm trying to see vaginas so Guess I'll have to be boring now See my trick was i was always boring yeah i mean you're like you were gifted this power you didn't have to earn it you have to work for it you were gifted that power yeah and then my excitement you know it's just the little

things but we already talked about this that's true but that's your thing though like the little things yeah keeps it going the little things It's all about the little things. You know? And then blow those little things up to giant proportions. Speaking of which, I've already propositioned YouTube numerous times to create a YouTube show where I pay to have you flown to all the Ikeas, all the biggest Ikeas in the world, and I just go with you to see your reactions to things proposition you to be yeah I went to YouTube and was like yo hey what

if it wouldn't cost a lot of money just me Crandor and a cameraman maybe a sound guy we go around the world and we film a thing where it's just him taking me to Ikea's I've never been I've never stepped foot in Ikea I don't know a thing about Ikea's he I've never stepped foot in Ikea. I don't know a thing about Ikea's. He's the Ikea master. I can't believe you haven't gone to an Ikea. I haven't ever seen one. Actually, stand corrected.

I've seen one. I've driven past it. Yeah. Never gone in. Yeah, the one where we were going to Blizzard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's that one. And I was like, look, an Ikea.

And you're like, yeah, I haven't been there. I'm still shocked. You know, look, an Ikea. And you're like, yeah, I haven't been there. I'm still shocked. You know, I got stuff going on. You know? You know I got stuff going on. Yeah, but you can buy furniture. Yeah, but I don't need furniture. And all the furniture I have bought,

I bought at places much closer to me. You can buy a stuffed animal. I don't need a stuffed animal. How do you know? If I want a stuffed animal, I will hold onto a pillow really tight. These stuffed animals are drawn by kids. Yeah, well, weren't we all kids at one point?

Pillows were made by kids. Really, if you think about it, most of the pillows we probably own were made by kids. That's true. Maybe not in America, but somewhere else. That is very true. I mean, I don't even buy things. Think about it. I don't buy stuff half the time I go there. More than half the time.

That's what I'm saying. You appreciate it on a fundamental level that I don't understand. Yeah. It's about the experience of the rooms, right? Clearly it must be. Clearly it must be. Because there's so many different rooms. And you just go into a room and you're like, you know, it's like I'm here.

It's like if there's a bunch of different environments you could walk between. It's like a zoo. A people zoo? Yeah, it's like a people zoo. That is like the end of a really bad Twilight Zone episode. Not Twilight episode. That's just bad to begin with. It was a people zoo.

It was a people zoo all along. Oh, God. We're the animals. We're the animals. It was a people zoo It was a people zoo all along Oh god It was a people zoo We're the animals There's like a giant ass lion watching him With it's kids It's pride Why is it called a pride of lions

Because they're prideful I think I don't think they are Now you're going to make me look this up Why is it called a pride of lions Because they're prideful, I think. I don't think they are. What? Oh, now you're going to make me look this up. Why is it called a pride of lions? It has to do something with royalty. They're regal. Yeah, they're regal and they're elevated.

So the group is called a pride. Owls are associated with wisdom. So a group of owls is called a parliament. Monkeys form troops. Many groups form herds. Crows are called a murder of crows Yeah I don't know I guess because they're dark

And they symbolize death or something You know Yeah Ask your emo friend They'll know why They probably love crows Ah yes The murder of crows

Flipping my long luscious black hair The murder of crows Why let me look in my book The Necronomicon. You know what? Everyone needs a creepy friend like that. The friend who's like, that's the friend who, when all hell breaks loose, they'll be like, don't worry.

I've cast a spell of protection upon us. We'll be okay. Whatever you say, Azrael. Yeah. All right. Is it working yet? Yeah. I mean Yes

They're outside They're trying to burn this house down Don't worry My murder of crows will protect us The house is on fire We got it We're protected My skin is melting

Skin is melting Oh I didn't mean from life You're protected from a Disastrous afterlife Is what I meant Then it's over Excellent Then it's over. How morbid.

My name is Azrael Morbius and you have just been pranked. It flies away. What was going on there? I have no idea what that little tangent was, but I like the way it ended it. Yeah.

Doesn't need an explanation. I like the way it ended it. Yeah. Doesn't need an explanation. I like the way it ended it. Dude, why does everybody go to brunch on Mother's Day? It's like a good, truthfully, I think it's like a good, hi, Mom, I love you so much. Oh, thank God she's gone. Now we can go someplace else. Why not breakfast? Well, because brunch is sort of like, you know, get a little tipsy, get a little hootsy-tootsy, if you know what I'm saying.

It's better than breakfast because you don't have to really hurry. That's true. I think I've always enjoyed brunch more than a breakfast. I have too. I think brunch, it lets you include alcohol. Yeah. And that's where it's really at, let's be honest. Yeah.

Breakfast and alcohol? God almighty. You get that mimosa Oh you can't even say the word Mimosa without me immediately flashing back to Vegas and that old lady pouring orange Juice and Champagne all over the table I'll never Forget her as long as I

She may be dead now I don't know it's been years Wait but I will never forget her she will go To the grave with me I don't think I heard This story uh Years ago at Evo you had me I don't think I heard this story Years ago At Evo you had to have I'm sure we talked about this Years ago at Evo I think the final day we woke up really early

And went to one of the many buffets they have for breakfast And it was a Sunday brunch buffet And it was basically You pay for the food and then you get all the mimosas you can drink So we were just like, we are in. Let's do this. And so we might have eaten, I don't know, less than a plate. Like, not even a real amount of food.

We just sat there for two hours drinking mimosas and eating. Wasted. But the reason why is because our waitress was, I'm going to say 80 years old. I don't know. She could have been a Vegas 40. I have no clue how old she really was. It's pinned the skin back. She was old and shaking.

Like, she just, everything was too heavy for her. And so as she kept trying to pour the champagne, she'd shake it and pour all over the table. And it was an experience. And I'll never forget this one because she tried so hard Even though it was like Why are you working? You shouldn't have to work She would not give up And she kept pouring and pouring

And we kept being like more champagne And eventually she came over with a pitcher And a bottle and left it on the table We just drank These goddamn alcoholics She really did She was like oh god damn it God that was

2013 That was years ago That was four years I still remember it I still remember it fresh in my head She will go to the grave with me That's like cornbread lady Man that's also like a

Bass lady This time the bass lady that we like cornbread lady uh cornbread lady man that's also like a bass lady that we this time the bass lady that we met oh yeah bass lady she's like yeah so what do you want on your bass everyone's just like what you know your base we're at a seafood restaurant for people who don't understand yeah we we assumed she was talking about... Like my bass guitar, home base, my military base. No, your base. You mean bass? No, your bass fish. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Bass. The fact that she said it and all of us began to question everything. Just because she worked at a seafood restaurant, we thought we were wrong. Yeah, so she works here. She's got to know how it is. Yeah, I mean, she has to know how it's supposed to be said, right? Yeah. Maybe we're the wrong ones.

Yeah. We almost got, like, gaslit by that woman. We were just like, oh, everything I know is wrong. Meanwhile, I think it was Mathis who ordered it, and then they didn't even give him it. Oh, they didn't even give it to him. Yeah, that's right. They gave it to him something else.

They gave it to him something totally different. That's absolutely right. Oh, my God. Oh, man, I like people. Dude, I love people. People, I like meeting people, old, young, I like people. Dude, I love people. People, I like meeting people. Old, young, just weird people. The weirder you are, the more I enjoy meeting you and just being like, you know what?

Earth is a splendid thing. Yeah. We're all beautiful creatures in our own way. Like half the fun of living is just meeting the people. Or just, you know, people watching at a place. Like the goober people. It's all about the people. Oh, man, the Goober people. It's all about the people. Oh, man, the Goober people.

This really should just be called our best of episode. Because so far we're just like, remember that funny thing that happened? This is like our midlife crisis episode. Yeah, I'm about to go get my, what is it, cool sports, my Bugatti Veyron. And drive off with my teenage girlfriend. Right. Named Candy Kane. Candy my teenage girlfriend named Candy Kane. Candy Kane. Yeah, Candy Kane.

K-A-N-E. It's not like a stripper name. It's a real name. Her parents just named her very unfortunately. It's not my fault. She's just that old woman reincarnated. Yeah. We're just going through something right now.

We just need to go out and buy a nice car and try to recapture our lives is what we're saying to you. It's not weird. It's not weird, guys. It's not weird. You're weird. You're weirdos for listening to it. Get out of here. It reminds me. Today we were getting something at

Target and then this guy was walking down the aisle and he was like, highly skeptical. What? Yeah, he just said that out loud. He, like, walked away from somebody in an aisle, and then in the middle of, like, the main aisle, he's, like, highly skeptical. And I was, like, what's he highly skeptical about?

Was he on the phone? No, he was talking to the person, like, in an aisle that he was walking away from, but he wasn't looking at them. He said it very loud, and he's just walking just walking away from him just said highly skeptical really loud and i was like what's he skeptical about what do you think the odds of him being a scientist are i'm gonna say maybe one in a million yeah maybe one and i'd put it one and half a. I don't know many people who say highly skeptical. I can't even say the word myself, apparently. Maybe he was being joking, like highly skeptical. No, no, no.

It wasn't a joke. No joke. So he said it with intent, which means either they were having a very philosophical discussion, or he saw a price that was like $4.99 for three, and he was like, oh, highly skeptical, and went to go ask if that was the real price, or someone moved the price information. It's gotta be something like that.

I thought he was looking at some products or something, and they were looking at the ingredients, like this thing's got gluten in it, and he's like, highly skeptical. That's what I thought. When I hear certain things have gluten, I tend to be like,

no. So possibly, he could have read that, I don't know, cherries have gluten or something. And he was like, highly skeptical. But then he went to go find out. This was near the cleaning supplies. Well, if logiturgen has gluten, then I would be with him.

I'd be highly skeptical. That's probably what it was. Laundry detergent, now with gluten. Now I understand this guy. That's like the other guy. Oh, my God. There's this other guy in Target. This was like a year ago, but it just triggered my memory.

This was like a year ago, but it just triggered my memory. And I was like in the other aisle behind him, how you can kind of hear people in the aisle behind you. And he was on the phone, and he was like, Ryan, all right, Ryan. This is how I talk. He's like, Ryan, the guy, the guy, Ryan. All right, this guy, he was a moron. He was a moron, Ryan. Hold on, I'm breaking up.

Hold on, hello? Hello? Yeah. Hello? I feel like Ryan was done with that conversation. Anyway, Ryan, this guy was a moron, Ryan. You don't even know, he was a moron. He had that kind of just douchey rich person like talking tone.

I don't know what it's called. But he's like, he had that going. Of course. Yeah. And he really didn't like. What are you? Yeah, yeah. He really didn't like the guy.

But he wanted to tell Ryan. Ryan, he was a moron. Just the worst, Ryan. But it's such a fun voice to do. And that's all I can keep thinking. No. Pardon me. Do you have any Grey Poupon, Ryan? What?

What voice is that? I like to think that's Ryan. I'm Ryan. I'm Ryan. Yeah. I'm Ryan. I'm the one that kills people. Yeah.

I'm Ryan. All right. Sounds like fun. But is that like one of those things where you just train yourself to talk like that? Or maybe you grow up in a family that talks like that and it rubs off on you? I have no clue. Why would anyone? You know what?

I think it's that 1910, 1920s rich guy talk. So maybe if you're old money, your family still talks like that. Yeah, maybe he's old money Like I've never set foot in Harvard But I imagine there's a lot of that Welcome to Harvard boys Today we're going to teach you how to Lord your money over everyone else

Harvard You don't even need to get an A We'll give you an A anyway if you just donate to the school Harvard I feel like Harvard you don't even go to school You A. We'll give you an A anyway if you just donate to the school. Harvard? I feel like Harvard, you don't even go to school. You just learn how to get pushed into some crazy Illuminati thing. That is what I imagine, and I'm super jealous. I want to be in a crazy Illuminati thing.

As far as I can tell, it's just weird occult shit, orgies, and crazy mask parties, and I want in. Yeah, they probably got the lion pride party. Everyone wears a lion mask, and then want in yeah they probably got like the lion pride party everyone wears a lion mask and then the main guy has a mane or something yes oh wouldn't that be so much fun oh that's all i want to do that's all i want to do i just want to go to that even if i just watch it i just want to see it that's one of those things where if you see it they'll probably kill you yeah you have to be a part of it. You have to put the mask on, and you have to go to the party. Yeah.

Oh, my God. That'd be so fun. That's what I'm saying. I know it'd be fun. Lion orgies are all the rage. I call this lion orgies. I love them. Last year's lion orgy.

We all dressed up like Ryan, and Last year's Ryan orgy. We all dressed up like Ryan. Then we had an orgy. It was fantastic. Ryan, you'll never believe. We had a Ryan orgy. We all dressed up like you. He's just like, but why wasn't I invited? You're a servant, Ryan.

Don't forget to park the car when you get home. It's my car. It better not have scratches on it. Yes, sir. It's like Sam when he sneezes. You ever hear Sam sneeze? He has the most generic sneeze, and he's trained himself. Does he just go, achoo?

Yeah. He goes, achoo. Achoo. What? Yeah, next time you hear him sneeze, he does that. He doesn't sneeze in front of me. He doesn't do a lot of things in front of us because I think he sees that as a sign of weakness. Yeah, he probably does. He's just like, achoo.

And I'm like, why are you doing that? And he's like, I sneezed. And I was like, that's the most stereotypical generic sneeze I've ever heard. That's not a real sneeze. A real sneeze is like. That's like someone reading the word achoo off a piece of paper. Achoo. Yeah.

And I know that he probably did that in some, probably when he was like 17. You know what it was? It's like I was saying earlier. In high school, he was trying to see vaginas. And he didn't want to be called out for being a weirdo. His old sneeze was probably like. Yeah. earlier in high school he was trying to see vaginas and he didn't want to be called out for being a weirdo. Not being like, I don't know. His old sneeze was probably like, yeah. And so he just kind of was like, achoo, achoo, achoo, achoo, achoo.

That's like I had an old teacher who said that it was impolite to yawn. So if we had to yawn, clench our teeth and yawn. So I can yawn without opening my mouth There's times where I've been in conversations with people And just be like, super bored I just tried to do it, but I realized that no one can see us So Just watch me do it, alright Guys, watch me do it right now

I'm done yawning It doesn't feel as satisfying It isn't as satisfying If anything, it builds up inside of you Until one day you explode How do you? Yeah. It doesn't feel as satisfying. It isn't as satisfying. If anything, it builds up inside of you until one day you explode. Yeah, it just feels like there's a slight yawn still stuck in you. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

You don't have the stretch of the mouth stretch of like, oh, I'm so fucking tired. Right? Yeah. You don't have that. No, instead you're just like, I promise one day I will kill all of you You have that, that's what you get Sometimes I've tried to yawn Like out the side of my mouth Where it kind of looks like you're not yawning

And it's more just like a weird breathing But it still doesn't feel good You need the full on yawn I just wish people would not Immediately associate yawning with being rude It's not rude to yawn. Just what you're saying is really boring. And I'm sitting here listening to you because I respect you.

But at the same time, I'm tired and it's boring me. But I'm going to stay here because I respect you as a person. That's what we're saying. Oh, my God. Dr. Phil. Uh-oh. All right. Yesterday, put on Dr. Philil it's like four in the

morning dr phil's on the oprah network and he's talking to these two people or no three people two daughters and a mom i think it's for mother's day and it was like mom is overbearing or something and the one girl's like i got a divorce but my mother still likes my ex-husband's side of the family and the mother's like they're very nice people i like them and dr phil's like you gotta take side either you go with your daughter or you go with the other side of the family but i think your daughter'd like to be on you know she'd like you to be with her and i was like yeah but what if her daughter's a douchebag maybe the other guy maybe the other people are cool maybe they had lion orgies yeah we don't i mean we don't know how that relationship ended yeah and then clearly

clearly if i can deduce stuff here a parent would never side with someone who like broke their child's heart right like that would never happen so i feel like maybe she did something to him and so the mom's like well look you're your own mess i'm gonna be friends with this person over here because like they seem cool you work your shit out and we talk later. I feel like that's the situation, but I don't know. Here's the thing, though. They all looked kind of like Hollywood. You know that Hollywood look they got? Where it's like they try to just pin their face back, but with, you know, whatever they can use, like makeup and surgery. Just all the crazy shit.

Look, you gotta look good for the Lion Orgies. I'm okay with it. You make yourself look However much like her face looked like it was 18 And then you look down at her neck and it was just like 50 It was just all wrinkled now. It's like what and then her hands her hands also like 50 It was just it was weird. It's like a weird like Detachment like a mr.. Potato head you're like swapping part and shit. I'm saying is look mom i'd still hit that but here's the thing story's not even over you can keep going all three of them all three of them call me so it gets to the end of the show it seems like they're all

single so i feel like you got a chance yeah they are they're all single uh gets the end of the show and he's like you know we had the three women. You can see they're on a show. This new show coming to the CW. And I was like, what? Never mind. I don't want anything to do with them. I felt like I got played.

What's the show called? I don't even remember. It's just some reality show thing. And he's like, you can catch them on the CW. This fall is memory. And I was like, so they came on this show probably to just promote their shit. And they probably just made up some dumb story.

I guarantee that's what it is. Guarantee that's what it is. Oh, now I gotta look this up. Kim Richards, is that a person? One of them had a name that was similar to Ashley. It was like Tashley or Tashley. It was a weird name. Dr. Phil Tashley or Tashley is a weird name. Dr. Phil Tashley?

Something like Tashley. Tashley. What are we doing? What are we doing right now? I don't know. Well, then let's go to Shopping Carver 7 in the Scout with Crendor. Crendor, how's that traffic out there? Hey, how's it going?

Traffic out here today is not too shabby. It is looking pretty good because Mother's Day is over. It's getting hotter outside. Everybody wants to go to the beach. Beach, let's go get away. They are also trying to get to vacation spots. So the traffic heading to those spots, such as Hawaii, is backed up. The Hawaiian roads are clogged.

But if you look up to the north and midwest, it looks like people are also leaving their houses to go on vacation. And it looks like they're trying to get to warmer places. So if you live in a warmer place normally, I'd say you're going to have bad traffic probably for another four or five months minimum. Minimum four or five months. I'm going to call this Traffic Storm Herald. So beware Traffic Storm Herald. We'll keep a watch on Traffic Storm Herald to really just make sure you're safe out there. And don't forget sunscreen.

Back to you. Thanks, Crennor. Now let's go over to Crennor at the weather desk. Crennor, how's the weather? Weather's looking pretty good. Woppy. Woppy activated. F-V-A.

F-V-A? V-A-C. Palmyra. Valle del Colombia. Whoa, Colombia. Palmyra, Colombia. 72 degrees Fahrenheit. Feels like 72 degrees Fahrenheit.

UV index 0 of 10. Next 36 hours. Tonight, showers. Low 69 degrees Fahrenheit. 50% chance rain Monday. 80% chance rain 84 degrees Fahrenheit, 50% chance rain. Monday, 80% chance rain, 84 degrees Fahrenheit. Monday night, 69 degrees, 80% chance rain. That's the weather.

I like the fact that he started rhyming there a little bit. Yeah, he is actually starting to rhyme. It's a new program. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, it detects the words, and then it finds words that rhyme more often, and he tries to use those. Well, what if it doesn't make sense, though?

That's probably just, you know, coding issues, coding bugs. Yeah, of course. You've got to swat the bugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll keep tweaking it until we can get a full-on rhyme rap. Yeah, it's like IBM. You've got gotta swat the bugs uh yeah yeah until we can get a full rhyme rap yeah it's like ibm you gotta swat the bugs yeah you gotta swat the bugs all right well let's go to the sports desk what's going on sports sports we got some intense nhl action it's down to the final four you got anaheim you got nash. You got Pittsburgh. And you got Ottawa.

This is the first time a Canadian team has been back to, like, the Final Four in a long-ass time. I think the Canadians got pretty close. Ottawa actually beat Pittsburgh yesterday in overtime. I saw. Yeah, so Ottawa's up 1-0. Ottawa. I don't know. It's got to be a close series.

It's got to be a barn burner. It's got to come down to whoever gets their pucks into the net. You got to get the puck in the net. You got to get guys in front of the net. You got to block it with guys. You got to get the deflections. Knock it in the net. You need a good forecheck.

You need a good back check. You need a good stick. You get a stick in there. You try to move it around. You need to win face-offs. I can't stress this enough. Win your face-offs. You get your stick in there. You win it around. You need to win face-offs. I can't stress this enough. Win your face-offs. You get your stick in there. You win it back. That's going to be a huge game decider. 28% of teams that lose have lost a face-off battle. You got to get your stick in there. That is true.

That is true. You got to get your stick in there. You got to get your stick all up in there. Over in basketball, it's just as know, just as boring as it ever was because it's the same teams again. We have the Spurs and the Golden State Warriors for, I think, the 15th year in a row. And then the Cleveland Cavaliers still waiting, so they're literally just the same teams. But there are two different teams, and that's Boston and Washington.

I'm just rooting for Boston or Washington. Whoever wins game seven, which is tomorrow, that should be some crazy stuff. Probably hoping Boston. And then baseball's going, but we got like 150 games to go, so it doesn't really matter. All right. Well, let's move on to our big news story of the day. I have a story for you before we start. Okay.

move on to our big new story of the day i have a story for you before we start okay nightmare house zillow listing tells buyers don't ask about mysterious occupants upstairs wait let me repeat that for you nightmare house zillow listing tells buyers don't ask about mysterious occupant upstairs before we even get into this, I got questions. Zillow is a online website where you can look at houses. Did they write this? I believe the

seller wrote this. Okay, I got you. Now, I've been on Zillow since and I cannot for the life of me find this actual listing, but I can find the house. Okay. So the house exists there, so you can see what the house looks like, but I cannot find the listing anymore. Okay.

All right, continue, continue. A recent house listing on Zillow in South Carolina is gaining attention for its mysterious occupant upstairs that agents are telling potential buyers, don't bother asking about. The occupant is living upstairs rent-free. Should someone come by the home in Casey, which is near the city of Columbia, the person assumes responsibility for the tenant upstairs. It specifically states, upstairs apartment cannot be shown under any circumstances. Buyer assumes responsibility for the month-to-month tenancy of the upstairs apartment.

Occupant has never paid, and no security deposit is being held, but there is a lease in place. Yes, it doesn't make sense. Please don't bother asking. What? The single-family home appears to be a diamond in the rough, as the listing states, a two-bedroom house with a separate cottage. The property is being sold as is, with no repairs, no cleanup, no warranties expressed or implied According to the post, there is a mysterious tenant

Who lives upstairs from you and will never pay rent And the owner has never seen them So, I went to the listing Okay It doesn't exist anymore, but instead I have this for you Which is, this is the house As you can see it on Zillow

Interesting, okay. Now, look at those photos and tell me this isn't a murder house. Oh my Jesus. It's like they didn't even clean up after the murder. That's what I'm saying. They say do not, you cannot expect them to clean. They will not move anything. It's as is.

That's a crack den. Please note. Okay. There is, the ceiling on one of the rooms Is like dripping something Probably blood from the apartment above There is Immense damage everywhere

If you click far enough You see a kitchen that looks like it has just poop on the ground You see a bathroom That I'm pretty sure that is blood in the shower Alright hold on I'm pretty sure that's blood I'm pretty sure that is blood in the shower. Alright, hold on, hold on. I gotta... I'm pretty sure that's blood. I'm pretty sure that's blood in the shower. Which picture is that? 13 of 25. Oh, yeah.

That's a no-doubter. That is straight up just like, nothing stains like that. That's blood. Yeah, that is. Especially in the shower. Then you keep scrolling and then you eventually get to 16 of 25. Wait, hold on. Go back to the towel. Or the shower. There's a towel. Yeah. Alright, is that a Gatorade towel? That is definitely a Gatorade towel. Alright back to the towel. Or the shower. There's a towel. Yeah. All right. Is that a Gatorade towel?

That is definitely a Gatorade towel. All right. Just clarifying. Gatorade. It gets the blood out of the shower. All right. The next photo is, it looks like where the granny ghost would get you. Yeah, that's a granny ghost.

That's a granny ghost. The next photo is straight up just A washer and dryer covered with crap Yeah and the dryer is like Drying tube is just destroyed And the next photo is the back stairs That lead up to the apartment Where this person lives

Here's the crazy thing The next photo is the door to that apartment That thing is where a haunted ghost Go to die This is like the portal to hell Yeah that is where haunted ghosts go to die. This is like the portal to hell. Yeah, that is no doubt the portal to hell. There's a reverse Captain Morgan

poster over the window. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I just noticed that. They went up there to go take a photo. Does anyone live there? There's even,

they have a little security sticker like, hey, this is there? Everything about this is horrifying. They have a little security sticker like, hey, this is secured. Everything about this is horrifying. And the door frame's breaking. The back guest house looks like it is a hellscape. There's clearly a motorcycle. The motorcycle might be worth the price.

Yeah. They're going to leave it. It looks brand new. And then you go back to the house and there's a whole other thing. Like another house. There's that back house. And then yeah, this is like the murder

area. This place is terrifying. Simply they want $155,000 for this. No. The thing is right, if you look at it from the front it doesn't even look that bad And then everything else looks completely awful The crazy thing about this is

In Casey the average home price is $100,000 This home is going for $150,000 I guess in Casey If you want a little murder with your home This is the place It costs a little more to get murdered Who do you think lives upstairs? That's a great question

I don't know I don't know if we have the answers to this The real story Hold on I'm linking it It says the real story The real story behind South Carolina's nightmare house Who is this guy? I don't know is he the guy who lives there?

Tenant on Nightmare House on his artwork and career. Upstairs apartment cannot be shown under any circumstances. The listing read buyer assumes responsibility for month. Okay, we know that. Yeah. The ad on a home listing service Zillow went viral. It became the service's most shared listing of 2017. It's a Nightmare House.

Creepy house. Okay, okay. In reality, the man in the upstairs apartment is anything but creepy. His name is Randall McKissick. A once world-renowned artist and illustrator who has fallen on hard times. A father of two loving daughters and grandfather to a precious red-haired grandson. The house contains no nightmares, just the

artist and his three cats. It is untidy. I'm not a housekeeper or a yardkeeper, McKissick said. McKissick said. McKissick is 5'5", weighs 135 pounds, with flowing white hair and beard, a warm and friendly demeanor. He loves Elvis Presley and James Brown, saying, I would kiss them on the mouth.

What? He rode a Harley Davidson chopper, customized for television personality and designer Jesse James. That's why it looks so good. Until he broke the key off of the ignition six months ago. He loves his three cats almost as much as his art and family. Animals are truer than people, he said. He's a sensitive genius who once was at the pinnacle of his profession with illustrations and paintings in museums, galleries, private collections,

and corporate headquarters around the world. Wow! But now, after a series of setbacks, beginning with emergence of computer graphics, and continuing to a divorce and eviction, a series of thefts and age-related challenges, McKissick has lost the spark for painting. He suffers from anxiety, a malady he's battled since childhood, and increasingly, he has trouble focusing his mind wonders. I'm not 70, he says, sitting in a rickety dining room chair

in an otherwise empty downstairs room. I'm 18 in my mind, and I cry like a baby. Basically, he's a genius. Yeah, he's a crazy genius. He and his wife, Jean, moved to Irmo, began a freelancing career. Then he got a divorce, and he's been on hard times. Basically, he's just like The coolest dude But because the house looks like a murder site

Like dude look at this guy He's actually like a really good artist Get out of town He's got some crazy ass paintings We learned a lot today Yeah I need to go look up his art He looks like a

Whoa he does have art Everywhere look at his art. He looks like a... Whoa! He does have art everywhere. Look at his art. It's like real art. Wait, real? Oh, I see this now. Like, it's like real artwork. Oh, whoa, it is. Like, real art.

Not like that fake bullshit art. Yeah, like shit you'll see in, like, people, rich people hang up. Look at this guy. Good on him. He just wants to paint again. That's all on him. He just wants to paint again. That's all he wants. He just wants to paint again? I want to help this man paint. I want to help this man paint. I should have bought this house.

You should have bought the house. Oh man, he would have helped me. I would have really looked after this guy. Yeah. I would have cleaned up. I would have cleaned up and been like, bro, I got you. I would have made him an artist star again. So jealous. So, so jealous.. I would have made him an artist star again. So jealous.

So, so jealous. And he's just living in a murder shack upstairs. He loves Captain Morgan. He loves Captain Morgan. What artist doesn't love Captain Morgan? Truly. It's true. Well, I feel like we learned something valuable here today.

Don't judge a murder house by its looks. Yeah. It could be an artist yeah who wants to murder you with inspiration i bet he was just painting in the shower he's an artist artists do crazy things with blood in the shower i'd like this to be one of those stories where this is like every good horror movie yeah where halfway through they're like oh it wasn't murder house it's just this crazy artist and then it like, but the artist paints with body parts. Yeah, that's why he doesn't leave.

He just says he's got anxiety, but he doesn't. Yeah, no. He kills people in there. No doubt. I mean, that's a great story. I don't know that we can do better. Yeah. You discovered something magical here.

Yeah, we went. That was like a full-on story. We had the mystery. We had the. Like, we had the mystery, we had the crazy article, we had the mystery, we had the, like, the solved mystery. We Scooby ganged

the hell out of this. Yeah. Wow, we're good at this. We're proud of us. Yeah, I think that's all I got. Great. Cool.

Well, then, that's it for this episode. Thank you all so much for listening. Be sure to rate us on the iTunes and everywhere else. Rate us. Good ratings. Yeah, give us

good ratings. And we will see you next time. And as always, to be continued.