Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 136 - Replicants and Garbage People

Episode Date: July 25, 2017

Cox n' Crendor is back and this time Jesse comes with stories from Las Vegas, home of replicants and garbage people. Meanwhile Crendor has some stories of his own, and yes, in typical Crendor fashion they make no sense. They'll also talk about important news stories like the man who was crushed under stacks of porn. All this and more in the newest episode of Cox n' Crendor! Today's episode is sponsored by meundies. Head over to meundies.com/Crendor to get 20% off your first pair and free shipping!

Today's episode is brought to you by MeUndies, the softest underwear you'll ever wear. We finally got them, guys. We finally got that MeUndies sponsor! Finally, I get free underwear. I'm letting you know, I've been a fan of MeUndies forever. We reached out to them. We were like, guys, we love you so much. Come to us. And so they have. And they were like, listen, you're weird, but we'll do it. Thank God. and so they have and they're like listen you're weird but we'll do it thank god dude i doubted it because everyone was like dude they're so soft and i was like uh i mean i don't know i'm just

gonna keep buying my normal underwear now i got them never going back so thank you to me undies for sponsoring this episode hello everybody it's time for Cox and Crendor! Cox and Crendor in the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studio. Recording! Wake your ass up! It's Cox and Crendor in the morning!

Cox and Crendor in the morning! Hello everybody, welcome back to Coxax and Crandor in the morning. Hello. Hi. Greetings. Salutations. Hola. Hola? Is what you went with? Hola? I don't know, I couldn't think of anything.

You went to another language entirely. Como estas? Guten tag. Look, we can do this all day. I can't. I've already lost out on what to say next. All right, sure. Oh, my goodness. Welcome back to another fun episode of Cox and Crandor in the morning. We have got a show for you today.

Do we? He says, yeah, I don't know that I can promise that. I'm going to try. I'm going to try to make that promise. You know what I found out we need to do? What? Apparently SoundCloud, where we host this podcast. Great.

It's like going under. Something's wrong. What? So over the next 50 days, I need to find a new location for the podcast. If anyone listening right now knows of a good hosting place, I guess in 50 days SoundCloud's going under. So that sucks. Yeah, which means we have to find a new host, then reset the RSS feed to go to iTunes and all the other places it goes to.

So, God help us, this will be interesting. Mamma mia. Well, I upload them all on YouTube, so that's one place. But that's like, you know, we need like an audio only. Yeah, I mean, you can only look at a screen of Our weird cartoon selves for so long That's why the animations are three minutes long Yeah it drives you crazy

If you look at it too long you'll go crazy Like us What a weird Week I've had So I went to Evo And Vegas Vegas is Vegas Vegas is always I've had. So I went to Evo and Vegas Vegas is Vegas. Vegas is always 12,000 degrees

It's always filled with 120 degrees It was so hot. Vegas is so weird Vegas is like, imagine if you took all the ugliest people in the world and then had them mingle with all the most beautiful people in the world and then had them mingle with all the most beautiful people in the world.

That's Vegas. Vegas is this weird mix of just like terrible trash people and then plastic human beings. That's like what it is. When you go to one of those recycling centers that are separating trash from plastics, that's what Vegas is. It's that recycling center. It's like Steve Johnson, CEO, entrepreneur extraordinaire. Like, yes, I've brought my five wives here to have a great time with me. And then there's like Joey Johnson who's like, I'm going to make it.

My big bricks, righty. I've just been gambling for 42 years. It's coming. I swear to God, it's exactly what it's like. It is too much. And every time I'm there, I just... Look, I'm going to say this as a man. Vegas has more fake boobs per capita than anywhere in the world.

And here's the thing. I don't mind. In fact, I'm very okay with it. But it's just... There are so many. There are plentiful. Well, what about L.A.? You know what?

L.A. is such a cultural mix that maybe if you lived in certain areas, yes, but generally no. Because L.A. is more than just Hollywood. It's huge. That's true. Vegas is Vegas. Vegas is, everything's fake about Vegas. That's true. It was mind-blowing. You see people that are

laser sculpted or whatever however they sculpt people now into perfect proportions and then you see other people who are just like they rolled out of a pile of manure and they're like, I'm going to gamble today.

The in-betweens are very rare. There are very few in-betweens. Oh, my God. It is amazing. It's so funny. And for people wondering right now, I definitely include myself in the garbage people. When I go there, I feel like a garbage person compared to some. When I go there, I feel like a garbage person compared to some.

We went out to dinner one night, and the group sitting next to us was one guy who looked like his name was Chip Hardbody. Instagram model. Yeah, with three women who all of them were of different ethnic backgrounds, and all of them looked the exact same. I don't know how to describe that. They were all definitely from different parts of the world. One girl was clearly Indian, one girl was clearly Hispanic, one girl was clearly white. But, except for their face, the rest

of their bodies looked the exact same. He probably got him the same plastic surgeon. It was incredible. We were just like, looking at him like, get out of here. This is like when you see the surgeries they do for Korean pop stars. Yeah. And how they try to make them all look the same way kind of.

It's cookie cutter. Yes, but it was just with these girls' bodies. And then because it's Vegas, the outfits they had on were just like boob pushed up to their chin and weird straps that go nowhere. Shit that makes no sense, but it's Vegas, so whatever. And I just couldn't focus on the food in front of me because I was mesmerized by these women who just should not exist. Now, I'm not going to say that I have anything against them. Ladies, call me. But it was mesmerizing because it was like, this is that Barbie girl song.

Life in plastic is fantastic. That's what it was. It was like, what the hell is going on with you? So, yeah, besides that, there was a lot of, like, weird pseudo-celebrity sightings I had. So the hotel I went to go stay at, Mandalay Bay is where the, as I burp, Mandalay Bay. See, I'm a garbage person. Mandalay Bay. Mandalay Bay burp. Gar As I burp. Mandalay Bay. See, I'm a garbage person.

Mandalay Bay. Mandalay Bay burp. Garbage person, that's me. You walk up to their table and you're just like, Hey, ladies, can I have one to you tonight? Hey, ladies. It's just like I've spent $4 billion here. I'm not going to... What do you mean?

I bet he goes to the same guy. It's like, give him the chip special. And he's like, aye, aye, Captain. You can spend $4 billion on me, baby. Anyway, so Mandalay Bay is okay. It's like an okay casino. It's not the best one there. While I was there, the hotel I was going to stay at in Mandalay, they were like, no, sorry.

We accidentally booked your room, so as a compensation, we're going to offer you a suite at the Delano. And I was like, the Delano? What's that? It sounds fancy. Just another hotel in the exact same hotel that's connected to the hotel. I was like, oh, okay. So,

you go through the casino, so I'm carrying my luggage through the casino, looking like an idiot. You go through the casino, and then there's a little tiny hallway, which leads to an even tinier hallway, which leads to an all-organic fancy restaurant, which leads to the hotel. And the hotel has weird floating rock structures and a jazz singer at the lounge.

It's like Negrand. I was like, what is this place? It was like Negrand. Much like the Or what is this place? It was like Negrand. Much like the orcs of Negrand, there was a jazz singer. Babadoop, bop, bop, orc. And so I check in, go up to the elevator, which is even in a smaller hallway. This place is so secluded, you would miss it if you weren't looking for it. And out of the elevator, I swear to God,

comes Angelina Jolie. Now you might say, Jesse, how do you know it was Angelina Jolie? One, it looked like her, but as we've established, everyone in Vegas kind of has that, like, I have fake boobs and a very thin look. But with her was a little Asian boy. I think she has an Asian

boy son. And another kid. And another kid. I was like, what. Oh, yeah. Angelina Jolie. And another kid. And another kid. I was like, what? I think that's Angelina Jolie. Oh, my God. I think it is. I was mind blown.

I was like, what? I was thinking Angelina Jolie's hotel? No wonder this place is so secluded. She probably loves it. Mind you, probably was not her. It's probably a wannabe. Yeah. it was like You know how in Hollywood they have the

Spider-Man stuff? In Vegas They have other celebrities, the Elvises The Marilyn Monroe's and the Angelina Jolie's Even the kids are actors Yeah, even the kids are actors, they gotta work It's like, how you doing there? He's just like, get out of my way Cigarette

I've had a rough day i lost right over here the slot she's angelina jolie every day i gotta tell the pearl you ain't no angelina jolie yeah that was it blew my mind and then uh we went to a place that we went to a restaurant that i think you would have liked. Boiler Room RX, I think was the name. Let me Google this. And this is a restaurant. I don't know if anyone follows my Instagram. I took a photo of one of the decorations

with this weird metal octopus with a green glowing head. And the place we the area we ate in was sort of like vampire themed. It was very weird. It looked like a vampire lord would eat there. And part of the restaurant was steampunk.

It was crazy. But at the end of the day. Oh, wow. Those look cool. It was all food that was crafted strangely. So one of the things was chicken pot pie nuggets. What? strangely so one of the things was chicken pot pie nuggets what it was like chicken nugget shaped but inside was chicken pot pie oh yeah i see them they look like normal uh they look like

like hush puppy balls almost right but inside is the gooey goodness of chicken pot pie Oh my god They had duck Poutine On tater tots Which was amazing I got like lettuce wraps and stuff They had chicken No they had rabbit ragu And then at the end of the night Kristen got a thing that was like

Eight or nine Things of ice cream Little tiny cups of ice cream And you played a game where that was like eight or nine things of ice cream. Little tiny cups of ice cream. And you played a game where it was like, you would taste it and if you could guess all the flavors you got it for free. And so they were sitting there tasting this ice cream trying to figure out what it was.

She was very close. She only missed two. This is my type of restaurant. I want to go here. They would keep coming out and all the drinks were very different and weird. Someone got instead of a Jack and Coke It was like a smoked whiskey Or something Where it came in a skull

And the skull was smoking and then he poured the Liquor out of the smoky skull It was an event Oh my god Yeah we loved it Oh there's the skull I see it Everything's there You don't even need to go now you've seen it on the website That there's the skull I see it everything's there you just gotta go you don't even need to go now you've seen on the website that's true I can't see it but this is the type

of thing they failed this is the type of thing I'd go to they got like the the robot entrance with all the like pipes and shit yeah and on the outside the area that has the name of the restaurant is where we sat and it like overhangs a bunch of stuff so we could see crazy stuff below us. It was great. It was great. Oh, my God. We were the last people in there, so when we were like, let's take photos of stuff, they just let us do it. We were like, can you turn this light on and turn that light off?

We're trying to get mood lighting, and they're like, sure, sure, sure. Yeah, man. I leave in five minutes. Here's the problem, though. Nothing ever felt like you were out late We didn't go to dinner some nights until 10 o'clock Because it's Vegas and you're never outside

You never see the light of day Yeah you just travel through tunnels Deep dark gutters And the only people Again trash people My garbage people and I stick inside The beautiful synthetic people Are at the pools outside

And I walk by and appreciate But I'll be inside with my trash people It's almost like Beverly Hills Where there's mansions and then homeless people LA is like Beautiful home, beautiful home, beautiful home, ghetto Beautiful home, beautiful home, beautiful home Like underdeveloped neighborhood

Beautiful home, beautiful home, beautiful home, like underdeveloped neighborhood. Beautiful home, beautiful home, beautiful home, strange pop-up shops. And then beautiful home, beautiful home, beautiful home. Weird homeless shopping cart mall. Yeah, it's very bizarre. Some homeless guy built a mall out of shopping carts under a bridge. And I don't know why it is what it is, but I'd like to think, and this is without having any evidence, is what it is, but I'd like to think, and this is without having any evidence, I'd like to think it's the people who live in the underdeveloped communities are the people who are the cleaners and maids and service workers of the people who live in the giant-ass mansions.

That's true. And the giant-ass mansion people are like, we don't want you to live far away. You have to live close to us, so have a pittance. And the employee of the month gets to sleep in the shed on the property i don't think that's how it works i'm pretty sure that's not how it works clearly we have never been rich that's true clearly we've never had money one day maybe we're taking a break now from the podcast because we want to talk to you about me undies me undies are the softest best most comfortable underwear you'll ever put on your body it's like

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And there's a man An old man But he looked like he used to be a woodworker And now he's just kind of supervisor Of the woodworkers Now when you say woodworker Do you mean like When you say woodworker

I'm going to avoid the obvious joke And go for Do you think he was a shop teacher? Or do you mean like you say woodworker i'm gonna avoid the obvious joke and go for do you think he was a shop teacher or do you think he whittled did he whittle his wood maybe like or he definitely still whittles okay yeah all right and uh he's a woodland it's like if uh there's jesus working on wood but then he got really fat and gray hair you know i you know what i don't know but i can kind of imagine what you're thinking yes so let's see it's besides the point he's in the checkout line behind me all right and he's just looking around and then there's some trees with lights on them up in like a display area and he looks up at him and he's just he's struggling to breathe i don't know he's just like almost like he ran a mile but i think he's just walking around home depot and then he is like

trees up there ugly as shit i would buy it and then he picked up a thing of candy and put it on the conveyor belt and then he kept struggling to breathe and then he was like and then the guy next to him was like yeah i don't like it and i was like uh okay and then he just kept struggling to breathe and looking around and i thought he was like having a heart attack or something but i think it was just how he was and it made me really confused but i was like damn so i was just like i gotta remember monarch or uh home depot tree tree guy i don't i have so many questions okay this guy he works there yes no what no he was uh he's just checking out behind me oh, maybe I misunderstood

This guy just I thought he worked there and was like helping someone else Oh, no, no, no I was in line to check out This guy just comes up behind me Kind of like Right And then he stops and he's like

And he grabs some candy, throws it on the conveyor belt And he's like, tree up there Ugly shit Right, but, belt, and he's like, tree up there. Ugly shit. Right, but, okay, but. And then he's with another guy. And the guy he's with is just like, yeah. What tree? What tree?

There's like some fake trees with lights on them in a display area, like up by the ceiling. Why is there fake trees? It's not even, it's July. We're not even at Christmas time. Well, they got it. It's kind of like those restaurants that have trees. It's July. We're not even in Christmas time. Well, they got it. It's kind of like those restaurants that have trees with lights on them, you know, at nighttime. No. Yeah.

What restaurant? Are you going to like Papa Bayou's Asian Cuisine where they have like motorcycles on the walls and like alligators and shades? Alligators? Like what are you yeah they got trees the lights on they're all over okay i'm telling sure sure yeah oh my god then all right there's this crazy lady at american eagle all right went to american eagle this lady was insane another checkout incident so i'm staying in the checkout this

lady's in front of me with her boyfriend husband i don't know but he's just standing there looking at the floor and she's like this is outrageous i can't believe i can't believe that you guys can't train your employees and then she's like ma'am i don't train the employees i just manage i manage everyone and she's like well you should train them because they're bad and then everyone's just looking at what happened why did why why i don't know i didn't see what happened and then there was a girl that's not even a story then that's just an anecdote of someone else's story no but then the girl next to her that was like actually checking things out and checking out some other guy she turns to that girl and she had like a shorter haircut and she's like and your your boy looking employee over here can't do anything right and then that girl was like what and she's like yeah

i said it you look like a boy and then the girl started crying and ran into the back and then everyone was just like what and then the lady was just like just give me your manager's name and then she like wrote it down and left and then everyone was just like what and so this crazy lady made a girl cry made a scene and then her her boyfriend or whoever's just standing there like uh-huh it was crazy It just sounds like a mean person It doesn't sound like a crazy person It just sounds like a mean person Well you gotta be crazy to be that mean in public

I don't know that you do I think that something Clearly happened to her Where she just became mean to everyone I want to say We don't know that woman's life story But I think we do Based on that I think we to say we don't know that woman's life story That's true But I think we do

Based on that I think we know everything we need to know Yeah I think we do I feel like we should give everyone the benefit of the doubt But some people You just don't You're a bad person You're a terrible terrible person Yeah

It's one of those things where it could have been filmed and put on YouTube and got like a million views You should have filmed it. I know I thought that afterwards I was like I could have been that person to filmed it and been like look at this crazy lady and everyone's like wow She's crazy. You should have done an opening part to like hey guys Crens Crens 64 here Crens 64 drama swag here with another fantastic drama alert update. You guys will never believe what just happened.

I was sitting here, and this woman came in and just, oh, you've got to watch this tape. I'll come back after this tape. Then you play the tape, you're like, can you believe that? World star. World star. World star. Oh, my God. I forgot all about this.

Then I was randomly walking, same all right same mall trip this random woman walking by i was trying to like i was just walking and i was hearing people's conversation she's just like booty hoe she just yelled booty hoe to who her friend she was talking to but there's no context to it you're just walking you know how you walk by something and you hear some words i just heard booty hoe but she said it loud enough and clear enough that you could hear. Was it sassy booty ho? Or was it like, you know, playful booty ho? No, it was sassy.

Or was she just being very factual like, booty ho? No, it was some sassy booty ho. Like tally ho. Can we make that a thing now? Instead of tally ho, we go booty ho. No, it was definitely directed at somebody she knew because she was just like, booty ho. So she was mad at this person? Yes, definitely mad.

But, like, I don't know. All right, hold on. What is a booty? Oh, my God. Do not just Google booty ho. Do not just do that. This is the big old booty. I did it.

Someone who likes it. Oh, up the, yep, okay. Booty hole. Oh, wid-a? Wid? A hoe wid a booty. Wid equals when I drink. A person doesn't smoke normally, but begins to bum smokes from others.

A hoe wid a booty. Yes. I'm getting too old. So I don't know. There are two definitions here. One is very derogatory. The other is just like, you know, she got a big butt. Yeah.

And I can't, I can't, your scenario is telling me I can't tell if in this story she's just sassing the other woman. She had to have been sassing her. There's no... But was it like sass or was it like anger? That's the question. That's going to define definition one or two. Shit. Well, I'd probably say it was more sass than anger.

If I'd say like a 70-30. Maybe they were like, you know, like good friends can give each other a hard time. Maybe that's what it's about. She's like, booty hoe. Yeah, she's just like Tina's being a booty hoe, you know you know like good friends can give each other a hard time maybe that's what it's about she's like booty hoe yeah she's just like tina's being a booty hoe you know i feel like we still don't truly understand the intricacies of booty hoe i don't i don't at all okay let's jump in and chat with grandor grandor how's that traffic out there well traffic's getting kind of crazy i'm flying over vegas right, and cars are melting in the streets. There's actually one car.

It has melted completely. A guy's just sitting in his seat, which is the only thing that hasn't melted. And he's just staring around. He's just flabbergasted that his car could melt like that. And it looks like someone else has melted with the car. That's not good. That's, oh, boy, oh, boy. But, oh, right over there. It looks like

all the animals are having fun. There are a lot of animals that just love this type of weather. Back to you. Thanks, Quendor. Now let's go over to the weather desk. Quendor, how's that weather? Weather? Alright. Woppy. Here we go. Come on. Woppy, I got a minute. 5, 4, 8, 7, 5.

No items to display. 6, 4, 5, 3, five. No items to display. Six, four, five, three, two. No items to display. P-A-L. Pali, Rajasthan, India. I swear to God we've done Pali, Rajasthan before. I'm not gonna lie to you, Woppy.

I feel like we've done this one before. We have never done Pali, India. 82 degrees, Fahrenheit. Feels like 91 degrees Fahrenheit. 92 degrees high, 81 low. UV index 1 of 10. Today thunderstorms, 92 degrees Fahrenheit. Tonight 81 degrees Fahrenheit.

Rain chance 80%. Wind 3 miles per hour east northeast humidity 69 percent all right he's good damn robots are perfect i know this is what happens when you leave them alone too long all right so let's go to the sports desk. Grendor, how's sports? Hey, sports. How you doing? Back at the sports desk here at Sports Cren Central. We've got some crazy stuff going on in sports. So the Golden State Warriors won the NBA Finals. That was a thing that happened.

And now some crazy offseason stuff's been going on. The Lakers are trying to get good again with Lonzo Ball. We got the bulls traded away jimmy butler a whole bunch of stuff getting crazy chris paul to houston houston trying to build a super team carmelo anthony might get traded it's getting crazy out there folks nfl news nfl starting up pretty soon hard knocks comes back love me some hard knocks it's with the tampa bay buccaneers this year what's the show that's coming out that's basically the ripoff of that, but it's with the Rams?

That was last year they had Hard Knocks. Oh. Why do I see a billboard for that now? What is happening? I just saw one the other day. What? Maybe they were like Hard Knocks returns. They just threw some Rams on it since they knew people in L.A. would like it.

You know what it probably is? returns they just threw some rams on it since they knew people in la would like you know what it probably is it in la we have around this time is when they uh nominate and vote for all of the things for the emmys yeah it's probably that that's where they're like for your it literally just looks like a billboard promoting a show but the bottom and little letters it goes for your consideration only in this city does that happen there are so many billboards for tv shows and things that i've never seen before And it's just like for your consideration Yeah okay sure

Yeah it's gotta be They were on it last year so it's probably some weird thing with that Alright I'll assume so Yeah So football starting up again Gotta love that Hockey the Penguins won the Stanley Cup. That was two years in a row now.

And over in baseball, just a lot of baseball getting played, and they're halfway through. They just had the All-Star Game home run derby, and they still have like 90 games left, so it's going to take a while still. But Aaron Judge hits home runs He's a guy He plays for the Yankees

He's a guy Sports Alright well Let's get to the big news story of the day But before we do I have a new story for you What is it? I've sat on this story so long That I saved it to a text document

Because I was afraid one day I would forget it and then it sat on my desktop because I forgot it. I don't know when this happened exactly. I can't really remember. It was a while ago, but we've never discussed it and we need to. All right. Man killed by collection of filthy magazines. What?

This is in Japan, just for the record. All right. It makes perfect sense. It makes a little more sense now. Yes. A man who owned six tons of porn died when his collection of filthy magazines fell on top of him. The 50-year-old's body was only discovered six months later when the landlord entered his flat in Japan to find out why the rent had not been paid. The porn addict's lowly tragic death was revealed by a member of the cleaning team who said that his company had been hired to remove the magazines discreetly in a way that would not be noticed by neighbors and the man's family to save them from the shame.

He said that the man, a former car maker, a former car maker! This guy made... I think this might be Mr. Toyota himself. It's gotta be him. How else could he afford all that? A former car maker identified only by the name Joji. Joji Toyota

makes perfect... Toyota, I don't know this from... It has to be from Japan. It has to be. He had it has to be he had died buried under six tons of pornographic magazines he said it was unclear if he suffered a heart attack and had fallen into the stack of magazines which had fallen on top of him or whether he had been crushed by the mass of paper either way if he was still conscious the paper would have muffled his cries according to the cleaner that's's the story. A man was killed by porn. I want to know how it actually

happened. Was he trying to get a certain one out of there? Maybe it's been long enough this story has actually developed. It's gotta be. Maybe he was trying to pull out, you know, Big Booty Ho 5 and it just toppled. Japanese man killed by porn.

What? Why? All right, I should have looked it up. It literally says it's fake. What? In giant bold letters it says fake. Why are all these stories fake? You know what? I think we should just accept that if it's on the internet, it must be true.

I agree. It's got to be true. Even when they say it's fake, it's a cover-up. It's gotta be true Even when they say it's fake it's a cover up The original story notes that many times people who live And die alone known as Kodokushi in Japan Aren't found until body fluids leak through the floor

Into tenants below So apparently So what really happened Recently a Japanese man was found dead in his apartment The man lived alone The coroner ruled he had died of a heart attack How do we know that's the real story Here it is reported

And then everyone's saying that The thing was that he was killed by porn Sloan, the coroner ruled he had died of a heart attack. How do we know that's the real story? Here it is reported. And then everyone's saying that the thing was that he was killed by porn. Yes. Oh, whoa. Okay. Yes. We're following the leads. Yes, the man did have a huge porn collection. There's a photo of his porn collection.

It is next level. This is an amazing photo of porn. It's just a pile. It's next level. This is an amazing photo of porn. It's just a pile. It's hoarders for porn. But, there's no evidence to say that the porn fell on him. However, he might have fell on

top of the porn during his heart attack. Which to me sounds like he was doing a little hooting and tooting. A little slapping and yapping and then had a heart attack. Ah. Which to me sounds like he was doing a little hooting and tooting. Yep. A little slapping and yapping and then had a heart attack and fell on the porch. That's what it sounds like. Which, just as good of a story.

I agree. I think that makes it true. Yeah. Honestly. Confirmed. This is like Mythbusters. Plausible. Plausible.

We're going to give it a plausible. It could happen. We should start doing that for every news story Is it fake? Plausible It could happen Yep there you go that's the news story I've been holding on to for way too long

At least we got it done Instead of it just lurking now Well I found Here's a couple news stories. One is, growing sophistication of sex robots is leading to moral and legal dilemmas. And the other is, doctors removed 27 contact lenses from a woman's eye. What? Yeah.

I want to hear both, but that last one sounds horrifying. Yes. So, let's see. Seeing wasn't believing for an ophthalmologist. How do you put 27? What? I don't know. Doctors rating a 67-year-old woman for cataract surgery in November discovered that she had a bluish mass in one of her eyes,

and it was actually 17 contact lenses mashed together the woman unsurprisingly reported discomfort in her eye but figured is because of dry eye and old age as bad as it sounds to have 17 lenses stuck together in your eye specialist trainee ophthalmologist rupaul morjaria told the website that doctors eventually found an additional 10 contact lenses in the same eye all of them were they're all monthly disposable contacts that the woman had forgotten about how do you forget about your contact lenses how i don't god old age is frightening that's terrifying to me she's gonna just forget that you have 20-some contact lenses in your eye? How do you just forget? How do you have eye paint on top of it and be like,

what caused it? Could it be the contact lenses? No. It's probably just dry eyes. I can't. That's what happens when you have contact lenses you don't have to take out every night. You know what? You made this happen, medical industry.

This is your fault. Back in my day, the reason why I still in my day the reason why I still wear glasses The reason why I still wear glasses Because when I first was like oh here's contacts This is how I use them You had to take them in and out every night So you're poking yourself in the eye every day And then it's sitting in that little awful liquid crap

And this you just leave them in and you can sleep in them That is your fault medical industry You're the reason why this old lady had A thousand contact lenses in her eyes. If you go to sleep in them, right, and you wake up and they're still in your eyes, and you gotta, like, swap out for new ones, like new daily ones, wouldn't you think, like, oh man, I can't really see well in that eye. It must have, I don't know, if it was still in your eye, wouldn't you feel it?

I can't understand. I just don't understand. I don't get it. It doesn't make any sense. Wait. A survey of contact lens wearers suggests that more than 99% of people report at least one behavior that puts them at increased risk for eye infection or inflammation. These bad habits include sleeping overnight or napping in contact lenses, reusing contact solution, wearing lenses longer than recommended, or swimming in them. I mean, I I do I get That you eventually In old age become forgetful

And I get that people can be stubborn And I get that some people Push through pain because they're like Well I can't Afford to see a doctor or I don't want the Knowledge of what a doctor might tell me or whatever I get all of that But I still don't want the knowledge of what a doctor might tell me or whatever. I get all of that.

But I still don't get this. I just don't get, like, okay. Maybe even once or twice. Maybe even three times. But 27? How does it? I like that they even hid the twist. Because didn't the initial article say it was 17 times?

And then they were like, then they found an additional 10. The article had its own twist. Yeah, even the article twisted. It's gotta be 27 content. I wanna see if there's like a picture of this. I don't wanna look at that. If that exists I don't wanna see it. I don't wanna see it. I can't

imagine that looks good. I don't even know. It's just some like stock photos of it. They don't actually have any pictures of the lady I think. Alright, let's just end with sex robots. Go on. This is what I'm waiting for. Go on. So, the rise of sex

robots is presenting increasingly difficult... Can I tell you how incredibly funny it is to have you say, the rise of sex robots! The rise of sex robots coming to a theater near you. Of all of our robot overlords, those are the ones I'm looking forward to the most.

Well, they're presenting an increasingly difficult moral and legal dilemma, experts have warned. What is that? What could that possibly be? Well, AI is becoming increasingly sophisticated with sex dolls increasingly lifelike but advancements in technology bring with them their own serious issues surrounding morals and legal status of sex robots ethics expert professor robin mckenzie of kent law school said sex law and ethics will never be the same sooner than we think technologists will create sentient, self-aware sex bots

capable of emotional and sexual intimacy. Under existing legal and ethical standards, sex between consenting adult humans is permissible, as is sex between humans and things. What? Quote, humans having sex with other humans who are unable to consent to sex like children and adults lacking decision-making capacity is seen as unlawful and unethical so is humans animals such groups are recognized

as sentient beings who cannot consent to sex with interest in need of protection sentient self-aware sex bots created to engage in emotional sexual intimacy with humans disrupt this tidy model isn't this just the plot of that one movie, AI? This is like, what's it called? That HBO show. Yeah, yeah, it's Westworld. Yeah, Westworld. It's like Westworld.

And they're going to turn on us and kill us all. Yeah, I mean, here's the thing. When it comes to robots and sentience, don't give them sentience. Yeah. That's an unnecessary, like unnecessary That's an unnecessary thing Just don't do it But again, legally and morally The more you make them look like humans And the more humanity you give them

The more people are going to be upset with The way they're treated, right? And the more people are going to fight So, what I believe And this is what I've said for years Don't make sex bots look like humans Make them look like those all sexy Metallic robots from the like old movies

Like heavy metal Make them look like a sexy heavy metal robot With like giant antenna boobs And like sexy They're like all metal They're like hello do you want to bone down Like yeah robot I do Do that instead also

if anything anime can help us figure out ways to get creative they don't have to like people come on come on get out of here well apparently a chinese engineer married a robot he built never mind and uh it's too late my dreams are crushed so yeah he's already passed you up he's already built a more lifelike robot and married it well i don't who is this guy what does this robot look like i want to see this man's robot all right who is this man hold on i'll link it chinese man marries my god that's the first Chinese man marries immediately took me to robot. Chinese man marries. Marries robot. He built himself.

I see that robot. My favorite part is that he unveils the robot. Like he pulls off a hood. Come robot. Let's go. Ta-da. Yeah, it's just got like a handkerchief over it. Chinese man marries robot after failing to find love.

I don't think that we have to worry about robots looking like people anytime soon. That is terrifying. That is extremely terrifying. That thing... That is terrifying.

It looks like a doll you'd buy at the store, but given megasteroids like pumped up and it's just like... Yeah, there's... Nothing about that to me that says, you know what we're close

yeah that is nothing close nothing close it's terrifying what the reaction in china to the union has been mixed with some social media users mocking zhang and other wondering if it's all publicity stunt you won't have her mother looking down on you you won't have the pressure to buy home when you get to save money and energy, one user wrote. He'll slowly get old. His face will become wrinkled and his hair will grow white, but he will upgrade her to grow old or just

be prettier. What? I don't know. There's another article called Five Men Who Are Already Addicted to Sex Robots. Who are they? You gotta find out. Leading robotic experts claims in the future, we're going to become addicted to robot sex.

That's fine. This one says, Five men profiled below have already found true love in robots. The guy in the main thing. He looks like a guy. This guy spent $50,000. Oh, this is creepy, though. This guy spent $50,000 making a Scarlett Johansson robot.

Oh, my God. That is really creepy. He doesn't look anything like her. You wasted $50,000, dude. You could have spent that money to go on a date with a girl who just looks like Scarlett Johansson. Oh, my God. Is this the same thing that you're looking at? Number five is Doug Hines.

I haven't seen Doug Hines yet. I'm scrolling down. I think the best part is it says it is the first robot equipped with AI and able to carry on a conversation. You just look at it. It's like

the only conversation it has is kill me. Oh my god. It's so funny. But he looks so proud to have made it. It's scary. After being married in the voice to three human women Murray found love in his sex doll. he likes to come home and

tell noni about his day he says he also enjoys buying her clothes and dressing her noni doesn't seem thrilled even his robot doesn't like it's like roasting these dudes in this article i mean oh at least noni kind of looks a bit real compared to the other ones. Nope. Nope. Not even in the least. Compared to the other ones, it does. The other ones look weird.

It doesn't look real. It's weird. But the other... It's terrifying. I saw the other... Number three is Davecat. I saw that on TLC. And then number...

The one David Mills with Taffy. That just looks like somebody who would go to Vegas and be sitting in the hallway with all his money gambled away, but he'd be like, I got Taffy. Taffy's back in the room waiting for me. I mean, really. It comes full circle

because Chad Swaglord Plastic Surgeon guy, he's essentially creating real life sex bots with plastic surgery. Those are still people. Not in his mind. You're probably right. You're probably right. All right.

Well, God, that story blew my mind. We've come too far as a society. Really? We need the purging influence Of a new comet Just something to take us out Start us at zero Nature's even just like come on guys This is

This is too much I can't oh boy Down the rabbit hole we went today Anyway that's it Thank you so much for listening Please please please rate us on the iTunes And let everyone know what you think about us. Listen to us on iTunes now, too, because other things are dying.

Or SoundCloud. We'll figure out something. And that's it from us. Thank you, as always, and as always, to be continued. Thank you.