Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 139 - Feet Warming Children

Episode Date: September 5, 2017

This week the boys ask an important question regarding mattresses and question why they one they find it so damn expensive. Chicken goes to space, Jesse gives the low down on "what're ya gonna do?", and dogs have body cameras now. All this and more on a new Cox n' Crendor! Today's episode is sponsored by Draftkings.com where you can win one hundred thousand dollars this weekend in a special tournament. Use promo code COX.

Today's episode is brought to you by DraftKings. Football season is here, and there's no better way to get closer to the game you love than with DraftKings One Week Fantasy Football. I love DraftKings. I play DraftKings a lot. I'd actually, uh, won sometimes, but I'm also very bad, so the fact that I won is also making me pretty happy. Yeah, if anything, Crendor winning means you stand a very good chance of doing the same. So definitely go check out DraftKings.com promo code COX. Let's start the show. Yeah.

Hello, everybody! It's time for Ghost on Crendor! This is Crendor in the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studio! Recorded! Hello everybody, welcome to Cox and Crandall in the morning. Whoa. I know. Hi. Hi. Whoa. I know. Hi.

Hello. What? What was that laugh? You're like, yeah. Like you knew a secret. I've been adapting just new laughs into my arsenal. Your arsenal of laughs? You're like a weaponized laugh man?

Yeah. You're the worst superhero. My laughs are weaponized. And it's Labor Day, so I mean, you gotta put some labor in. I guess you're right. I guess that's what it's about at the end of the day. Working hard. Which, can I tell you that's my biggest pet peeve on the internet?

Whenever I do something and someone's like, Ugh, you're trying too hard, bro. It's like, yeah. Yeah, yes, you're absolutely right. I're trying too hard bro it's like yeah yeah yes you're absolutely right i'm trying very hard i'm going out of my way to try very hard that's always been a thing is like oh this guy's a try hard but it's like when you really think about it it's like well yeah but at the same time it's like i've called people that i'm like wow this person's just a try hard but i do it ironically or like in a sarcastic way because I'm like yes

Yeah, whenever you're losing you're like oh this guy's just a tryhard Yeah, that's just a coping mechanism of like this person's better than me, and I don't like it Yeah, it doesn't make any sense like oh you're trying so hard bro. Stop trying to make jokes, and it's like what that's my job Stop trying to make jokes and it's like but that's my job stop trying to win the game i'm trying very hard to do that that's the whole point what are you gonna do you know what are you gonna do try hard is the answer i'm gonna continue trying hard a lot of people it's like what are you gonna do it's like i don't know i do a lot of things all these like little phrases have some sort of response to them, but it's like a... it's one of those, like...

Do they? Do they, though? Most like, hey, what are you gonna do? That's like one of those things that people just say because they have nothing else to say. Right? Like, I'm having a conversation with someone, and at some point we get someone says, hey, what are you gonna do? That is key for this conversation.

Probably should have ended, but neither of us are willing to walk away. It's like, fair enough. Yeah, fair enough. Fair enough. Like, we of us Are willing to walk away It's like fair enough Yeah fair enough Fair enough Like we have nothing more To talk about It's Backseat of the cab conversation

Yeah When the cab driver Is talking to you The Uber driver Lyft driver is talking to you And you're like Yep yep Yep

What are you gonna do It's like Please stop talking to me That's what that is That's code for I have nothing to say to you Yeah Yeah What are you gonna do But what if you respond to that Like I'll tell you Please stop talking to me. That's what that is. That's code for I have nothing to say to you. Yeah. Yeah, what are you going to do?

But what if he responded to that? Like, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to kill Everlast Wonderful. Oh, no. Jokes I'm talking about. Kill all the jokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can't stand him.

Oh, my God. Yes. So I had a realization. All right. Oh boy. Yeah. Okay. It's Labor Day, right?

You know what happens on Labor Day? Apparently something with Beyonce, I guess, because that's all people have been talking about today. I thought it was about unionized workers fighting for labor rights, but not at all. That's not the case. Both those are wrong. Okay. Yeah.

A bunch of sales at furniture and mattress stores. Ah, you know what? Absolutely true. I don't know if it's like this in the country or like, you know, wherever. Or wherever. But in the city, I've noticed this in like LA and Chicago and just any other city. There's like a thousand mattress stores. Yes.

Oh, absolutely. And I don't get it. Like, nobody buys mattresses that often but there are a lot of people and people need beds so you're thinking very small you're thinking like i know one or two people and they don't need mad or like maybe a hundred people you're thinking of in your mind but there's millions of people in big cities but how often you buy a mattress it doesn't matter because just like cars how are there so many car uh sales places i guess that's true well it's like is it one of those things where if you sell one mattress you're

like all right we've paid a lot of the rent or something i don't think it's the same no i mean some mattresses are like a couple thousand bucks some are like 400 bucks some are 200 bucks but my dream is to get one of those crazy adjustable mattresses What's that thing called? The sleep number mattress I want one of those How much are those? Hold on

Sleep number I like how we're basically advertising This is stuff that is advertised on podcasts Like this all the time And we're just like How much do you think it's cost? I just want to know Yeah I just want to know The classic series

The most classic one Is $699 But what's like the good one What's the one That I want to sleep on 360 smart bed The i10 $4000

Holy shit My god That bed Better Like You better be able To have sex with that bed That's all I'm saying

You better be able To drive that bed To your job You better be able To bang sex with that bed. That's all I'm saying. You better be able to drive that bed to your job. You better be able to bang, then drive that bed to your job. Actually, it automatically and effortlessly adjusts to you. I don't know how that works. What? I saw a commercial for this, which is why I'm mesmerized by it. Like, someone's snoring, and because they start snoring, the bed automatically makes them not snore and i was like get out all right that's pretty that's pretty insane that's

almost like driving you to work i know but i don't see that on here i do see it's this temperature balancing surface sleep surface i don't know what that means i don't know what any of this means it's all gibberish it's an app it has an app that shows you stuff about your sleep Alright, if your bed has an app That's already a problem You already have too much technology in your bed If at that point you're like Hold on, let me get my bed app But it's got temperature balancing

Sleep surface I don't know what that means It has an optional feature of flex fit adjustable bases What does that mean? I don't know God, it's so much money. Compare. Oh, my God.

I'm going to shop now. I'm going in. I'm going in. All right. So those things are like they have so many features, but you don't understand any of the features. But you're like, it's got to be good, right? It's a feature. It's got to be.

If I want to get a king size bed. Right. I mean, why would you get anything else? A king size bed. $5,000. That's already way too much money forsize bed. $5,000. That's already way too much money for a bed. $5,000. Although I guess the way they sell it to you, they're like,

you spend most of your life sleeping. Don't you want to sleep? I'm just saying it's already a lot for a bed. Now, if they want to advertise on this show, boy, is that the right price for a bed. Shit, dude. One day. Yeah, one day.

They have to send us a free bed first. I want a free bed first. Then I'll start calling this shit good. They're not going to give us the i10, though. Are you kidding me? They have to. They're going to give us the C2 or some shit. It's got like dual air and like an 8-inch profile.

That's the only features it has. I don't even know what that means. What you just said is not real. That's not real stuff. Oh, my God. I want at least temperature balancing. The i10 with FlexFit 3. I don't know what that means.

I couldn't tell you what that means. $10,000. What? What? $10,000? $9,698 plus tax. You know that's $10,000. $10,000. $9,698 plus tax. You know that's $10,000. $10,000?

What does this do? Endless head positions. What does that mean? All right, so you can move your head different places. Gently raise your partner's head to help alleviate snoring. Oh, so it doesn't do it itself. Like, you got to do it? That's stupid.

Dumb. Find your way at night with under bed lighting? It has the same lighting that Japanese race cars have when they're on the streets of Tokyo. Maybe you can drive to work in this. Are you Tokyo drifting? Oh my god. Go to sleep with the Tokyo drift. It's got a pressure relief, support cooling, comfort Layer 7

Profile 13 What? Foot warming designed to help you fall asleep faster? Foot warming? It warms your feet? A thing just popped up, it was like chat with a live professional now I feel like we should interview someone On this show that works there and be like $10,000?

But did you hear about the foot warming? I just want to say, for the record, the i10 FlexFit 2, the only thing different about that is it doesn't have the feet warming. That is $1,000 less. No, $1,200 less. Feet warming is $1,200? I'll buy a blanket to save $1,200. You could literally hire a small child to come and rub your feet before you slept every night.

Cheaper than that. It's true. You could have a child and then raise that child to rub your feet every night before you went to bed and warm you up and give them a $1,200 allowance every year. And still more than most children make an allowance. That's true. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. This is crazy.

This is crazy. This is pretty crazy. Oh, my God. The I-10 that doesn't have the movement, right? Just the base I-10, just a regular bed, $5,000. What? Why would you? I'm not sure I would let them advertise on this show now.

That seems like a ridiculous amount of money. It does. There's got to be competitors, right? There's got to be some competitors that have cheaper stuff for the same price. Sleep Nombre? Yeah. Sleep Nombre. Sleep Nombre.

They're probably the Android. And this is like the Apple or something. There's the Satava Company what is that There's the Kitsa eco-friendly mattresses Those just biodegrade while you sleep on them There's the I don't know there's that one mattress I keep hearing

About on podcast but I can't remember what it's called But they're like you roll it out And I'm like that doesn't sound like it could possibly Be comfortable A mattress that comes to you that can be crunched up And then yeah you roll it out i'm like that doesn't sound like it could possibly be comfortable a mattress that comes to you that it could be crunched up and then you just roll it out there's no way that that is the same as a normal mattress on any test it though i'll test it send one to crendor i'm sure they'll love it i'll probably not like it customer testimonials these are probably real people not actors i'm excited yeah excited, yeah. I love when they say that, too. They're like, they do that a lot on car commercials.

They're like, these are real people, not actors. And it's like, well, yeah, everybody's a real person. Actors, though, not real people. Yeah, and they probably just quantify it by being like, actors are people that have acted in a television show or movie. These people have not acted at all. So here's your money and uh say it's good they're just like oh my god ford focus won that many awards it's unbelievable yeah if anything i feel like real people are more susceptible to stupid shit like you're right this is impressive yeah it's like the commercial what's

the one where um now a car drives up and it's like that's not my the one where Now a car drives up And it's like that's not my car And they're like well get in it And they're like okay And they get in it and they're like wow this car is amazing It's not like my car at all And it's like yeah because it's brand new The doors are locked

How do I get in it? We're taking you to Brazil You thought this was a car commercial But we're kidnapping you Oh jeez it's still a nice car though Like if you did a commercial With a quote real person Like you just went into a bar

And picked out like Fred Johnson And you took him to the place He'd be like hey what do you think of this He'd be like eh I think my niece has one of those It's like yeah what do you think I don't know. I want a Lambo, but I'm never going to buy one.

This looks like a car for ladies. I would never drive this thing. You know how they got them chick cars? Yeah, my wife bought one of them damn things. She's like, you can drive it around whenever you want, Phil. I ain't going to show up in those things. The guys at the club are going to give me shit. I hate these cars, so why are you showing me this shit again?

Well, it's an ad for one You have to figure They have like 30, 40 people And they pick five or six Yeah Because the vast majority are that guy Yeah It's like, I don't know

I like what I like It's like what they do with the any interview things or like i know tv used to do a lot where they'd like interview people and be like so answer these questions like where's oh jay leto did that all the time yeah like where's this on a map and they're like i don't know and then they're like oh well okay then like 99 of people are like oh it's right there or somewhere in this vicinity. And then the one person they like film, then people are like, people are stupid now. Yeah.

I love Jay Leno. He used to do it all the time. He'd be like, Jay Leno here out on the street. We got guys over here. Like, hey there. Where do you think Afghanistan is on this map? And they'd be like, I don't know here. They'd point to the ocean.

He's like, oh, jeez, you're stupid. They'd be like, I know. I'm an idiot. They're stupid. Everyone watching is like, I'm smarter than that fool. Does anyone else know map? I do. I'm so excited.

Another Jay Leno street walking. Jay walking, I think. Jay walking. Of course it was named Jay walking. Jay walking because it's Jay Leno. Yeah. Street walking. Jay Leno street walking is when he poses a prostitute.

He was like, hey there. If you want, I can take you back to this alley and give you a sweet, sweet kiss. That's like all those Tonight Show things now. Like, they're kind of on their way out because of the internet. But like, that was the prime thing, like in the 80s, like the 90s. Yeah. It's just like Jay Leno and David Letterman.

And one guy, was it Johnny Carson? That was like what all the people were. Johnny Carson was cool. Johnny Carson, I remember when he was actually still on TV. That's how old I am. Mama mia. Yeah, but Conan O'Brien, I used to stay up every night and watch Conan after J. Leno. And I was like, one day he's going to be it.

He's going to be the next big thing. And now he's on TBS. Yep. Conan, I miss you, buddy. Yeah. Oh, that's right. He was on NBC for a while. Yeah, and then they fired his ass.

Yeah, I remember that. They were like, the kids don't get his jokes. I think it was a lot of older people watching it and they were like, I don't get his jokes either. Of course it's older people. Apparently there was some study during the Tonight Show,

more couples over the age of 40 have sex, I think, is like the... What? Like, that's their doing it. Yes, there was at one point. And so I think the joke was like people couldn't get it up when Conan O'Brien was on TV. Like, look at that red-headed freak. Oh, Martha, I can't have

sex with you tonight. That redheaded freak scared me. They can get it up to Jay Leno and David Letterman. Yeah, because Jay Leno's like, hey, everybody, it's me, Jay Leno. Oh, yeah. Let's do it. It's another episode of jaywalking. I can't wait to bone you tonight.

Oh, hey there, everybody. It's me, Jay Leno out on the street. I hear y'all have sex hey there, everybody. It's me, Jay Leno, out on the street. I hear y'all have insects over there. Yeah, that's right, Jay. How'd we get here? I think we're talking about why people buy mattresses. Yeah, that's right. Yep, that is absolutely right.

I still don't get it. Listen, just, listen, just make like a mega mattress store. Make it like take up half the city. What? That's too much. That's too much. They can all get together. I'm convinced that some of the mattress stores are just like drug fronts or whatever they are. Well, you have to figure you buy one, maybe two mattresses of a variety.

Right. And that's all you need. So all you're doing is renting the store space, which means besides paying your employees, you don't have to like, and maybe electricity, you don't have to do much. Oh, here we go. Yeah. I just Googled, why are there so many mattress stores popped up here we go conspiracy time from the chicago tribune shortly after melissa marie moved into her new apartment

a mattress firm moved down the block away from another mattress firm she was baffled i've never seen anyone in the stores uh who was walking down a mile stretch of Clybourne Avenue in Lincoln Park. Even the CEO of mattress firm, Ken Murphy, agrees Chicago probably has a few too many, but there's a method behind what seems to be a madness of mattress stores on every corner. In its best markets,

Houston-based mattress firms aim to have a store for about every 50,000 people. That means Murphy would eventually like to have roughly only 200 in the chicago area today they're 235 some duplicative uh or unprofitable stores will be closing but not right away mattress firm is reviewing its real estate footprint with an eye to trimming stores but hasn't yet decided how many or which stores to shut down even 200 is a lot of stores specializing in a product that for many customers is a once in a decade purchase car dealers come closest but there are no other

retail chains that focus on big ticket discretionary products with that many stores said wed bush securities analyst seth basham doesn't sound real. Roughly 9,000 specialty bed and mattress stores in the U.S. generated about $11.5 billion in revenue in 2015, according to a report last year from Market Research. In Chicago, the answer has a lot to do with mattress firms pushed to grow through acquisitions. While many respect it's a great opportunity to get as populated in the market as quickly as we have, the downside is we have real duplication of stores right on top of another one on top of another so it's what we thought

there's just too many of them but there's a reason why there's so many because people still do need mattresses yeah and i guess if you have kids or you have like you know new additions to the family whatever yeah then you need a new mattress or if you get married You can't have your tiny ass mattress anymore I get it I get it It's just crazy I can't wait to see what the comments are From people overseas

In my country we have no mattress store We have one Mattress store run by Paul Paul is good mattress one mattress store run by Paul. Paul is good mattress for me. Paul Mattress Store. He's number one mattress store. Paul Mattressive.

He is this. Yeah, this is named Paul Mattressive. You buy mattress, get free goat. It is a steal. That's actually a better deal than we get. Get free child to rub your feet. It is steel. That's actually a better deal than we get. Get free child to rub your feet. It is phenomenal.

That's the Paul's Flex 3 package. You'll get free child to rub your feet. It is just like number mattress, but better. Phenomenal. Much cheaper, Much cheaper. Seems like it's some sort of legal issue. We have no laws here. No laws.

What are you going to do? Fair enough. Alright, well, let's go to Chapter 7 of the Sky of the Grandeur. Grandeur, how's that traffic out there? Oh, well, it's not bad. A lot of people taking their labor day to just barbecue and do that type of thing. But there is a backup to the mattress stores. For some reason, everyone wants to get a mattress sales deal.

You know, I don't get it. I just got my own mattress. I don't need a mattress. But, you know, what are you going to do? Some people just want to steal. You know, it's like a Black Friday of mattresses. It's just insane. Oh, my God.

Black Friday is only like two months away. Back to you. All right, Crendor. Let's. Oh, my God. It is only two months away. Let's go to Crendor over the weather desk. How's that weather?

A weather desk. Oh, now how's that weather? Wappy. Wappy activated. One, six, five, three, four. Eerie. desk oh now how's that weather whoppy whoppy activated one six five three four eerie pennsylvania okay i was waiting for it eerie pennsylvania feels like 80 degrees 82 degrees Fahrenheit High, low, 62 degrees Fahrenheit UV index 0 of 10 Tonight, thunderstorms slash wind 62 degrees, windy with thunderstorms this evening

Followed by occasional shower Few storms, maybe severe Low, 62, winds West, south, west There you go. All right. Now let's go over to Crenor at the sports desk. How's it looking in sports? Sports. Sports?

Let me tell you about sports. All all right there's a lot of sports happening right now um this is actually a good time for sports because the nba is about to start up again nhl is about to start up again baseball is getting to the uh to the end of the season so people can start caring about baseball yeah this is usually when i start watching because it's like oh yeah this is when the games matter. So now there's about a few weeks left and it looks like it's going to be Washington. Cubs are still on top.

The Dodgers are insane. They're 92-44. However, I guarantee it's one of those things where they'll make the playoffs and lose the first round. The Dodgers? No. Yeah, the Dodgers. What?

Yeah. 92-44. Best record in baseball. And then you got the other side. You got Boston ahead of the Yankees. You got Cleveland. You got Houston. Second best team in baseball.

And then the Minnesota Twins. You got Milwaukee right on the edge there. Crazy stuff happening. It's going to be a fun time. Going to be a fun time. What are the Japanese baseball rankings? You keep going on. I'm going to find out. Japanese baseball. So, let's see. What else?

Oh, yeah. Football. How could I forget about football? Football's starting up. Crazy stuff happening in the NFL. First game's going to be on Thursday. We have the Chiefs and the Patriots. That's like the first big opening game of the season that matters. And then Sunday is when all the other games kick off. So that's going to be interesting to see all the teams finally play again. It seems like it's going to be the same teams though it's like new england green bay pittsburgh atlanta uh but

you never know you never know that's the fun part could get some crazy stuff happening uh in the In the NFL. I just want to say. Yeah. The Japanese Baseball League, the Central Division and the Pacific Division. Right. Are so much better at naming their teams than we will ever be. All right. They have such team names as the Hiroshima Carp. The Carp currently leading the Central Division. There is the Nippon Ham Fighters.

The Ham Fighters. The Ham Fighters. The number one team, it looks like, with an 82-40 record is the Fukuoka Seahawks. Fukuoka? Iawks? Fukuoka? I don't want to pronounce that terribly. But then there's the Yokohama Bay Stars. I don't even know what a Bay Star is, but I love it. A Bay Star?

A Bay Star. A Bay Star. Chunichi Dragons? The Occult Swallows? The Chiba Latte Marines? Chiba Latte. Chiba Latte Chiba Latte please I don't order that size It's too small

Chibi lattes are far too small Didn't the pumpkin spice latte come back Gross I hate the fact I saw the other day there was pumpkin spice Cheerios And I almost puked I was like gross Alright

Here's the thing I actually enjoy a pumpkin spice lot no i don't i don't get it every day all right i get it like once every week for like a few weeks then i'm done with it i don't want pumpkin spice cheerios i don't want pumpkin spice you know everything else flavored pumpkin spice i just want i just want one. You're one pumpkin spice latte away from joining a sorority. It's kind of like the McRib.

It's kind of like the McRib. No. No it's not. Yeah. I get like one or two and I'm done with it but I'm excited for it to come back. Then those people go overboard. I can handle it. I guess. Well uh for it to come back. Then those people go overboard. I can handle that. I guess. Well, uh,

God. I know we've kind of moved on from football, but we can backtrack because it's our show and we can do whatever we want.

Yeah. Guys, football season is almost here. There is no better time to join DraftKings. They have a $100,000 contest this Sunday. It's totally free to enter.

If you draft the perfect lineup, you can even win a billion dollars. A billion? You could buy and make your own competitor to DraftKings. With $1 billion, you can create a site called DraftWings. Where you draft chicken wings. I'll draft mango habanero in the first round, please. You could compete with DraftKings with $1 billion. I'm just saying.

There are so many ways to play. There are public games. There are private contests. Huge cash prizes. You can play with your friends. There's beginner and casual levels. The best part is you get to draft a new team every week without any commitment. Yeah, that's probably the nice part.

It's one of those things where I have my main leagues right i have a few main leagues one of them i'm in i'm in uh with sinvicta loser um and uh that's like uh you draft your team once and then you do every week and you like manage them whatever but drafting is fun because you're just like hey i lost this week but i can win next week then you're like well i won this week and then you're like it's just like every week you draft a new team So it's a lot more manageable really Yeah and if you go to DraftKings.com Right now use promo code COX

You get a free contest With $100,000 in prizes Total this Sunday If you draft the perfect lineup like we said $1,000,000,000 It's totally free to enter Give it a try what's totally free to enter. Give it a try.

What's it going to hurt? Of course, always, eligibility restrictions apply. Don't be a kid trying to sign up. I do not want to get arrested for promoting. If you have a problem with gambling, don't do it. Yeah, don't do that. Don't do it. Because that's, yeah, don't be a dummy. I treat it the same way I go to, like, a casino or something,

where I take, like, $30, I put it in, and then I'm like, well, if I win, cool. If I don't, oh well. It's about the experience, about the fun of like, oh man, I bet I can make the best draft, and I can have the best players. Which I'm very good at. I don't believe that one bit.

Very good. All right, so that's it for DraftKings.com. Promo code COX. Go there. Win a billion dollars. Give us some of it. Please. We need to buy a mattress.

Please. All right. Well, Crenor, what is our big news story of the day? Oh, my God. This is the story I wanted. Someone tweeted this. Okay. Oh, my God. This is the story I wanted. Someone tweeted this. Okay. Oh, my God.

Wait, it didn't load. Hold on. There's got to be something else. There's got to be something else. There's got to be another article with it. Is this it? The site can't be reached. I'm patiently waiting. So the story that isn't loading, and it's not covered by any other sites, so I'm pretty sure it's not real, was United Airlines forcibly removes body pillow from flight.

Hold on. Hold on. United Airlines body pillow. Yeah. You can't find this? I found, like, the main article they link. I Airlines body pillow. Yeah. You can't find this? I found, like, the main article they link. I see Animaru. Yeah, that's the only one.

Oh, it can't be reached. Yeah. Is United Airlines trying to cover up this? Oh, shit. They're probably trying to cover it up. They have to be trying to cover it up. Of course they would. Why would Animaru lie about this?

They wouldn't. They wouldn't. I trust them and they're very trustworthy. This is one of the most trustworthy news sources in the world. World. Oh my god. Alright. I found two.

So I want to read the sinkhole swallows man's leg as he crosses New York City Street. What? Yeah. So here we go. A man crossing a New York Street had his leg swallowed by a sinkhole after the road abruptly gave way beneath him. Photos and videos posted to social media show the unidentified man awkwardly sitting in the middle of a crosswalk, but with his right leg almost entirely vanishing into the asphalt. What the shit? What? Oh my God, it's real's real i need to see this do we have a photo yeah boom look at this oh my oh my god

what his leg just went into the asphalt how though how i don't know it really really did. Oh, my God. It looks like the ground just ate his leg. Yeah. The earth is starting to eat people. How is... The earth is done with humans. It's starting to just turn against us. But it's such a small... When I visualized this, I visualized a sinkhole, a giant asshole that opens up on the earth.

And I was like, how did he fall in? Maybe he had a prosthetic leg and the leg fell off or something. This is a dude walking on a crosswalk and a little tiny circle appeared right where his foot was and sucked up just his leg. And he's stuck in the ground, but it's such a tiny area. He can't even walk across streets anymore. The police and everyone showed up and they're just trying to help this guy. I guess they got him out because they put a cone over the hole in the ground. He can't even walk across streets anymore. The police and everyone showed up, and they're just, like, trying to help this guy, but he's like... I guess they got him out because they put a cone over the hole in the ground.

Oh, yeah. They must have, like... Hey, guys, don't drive over this hole in the ground. Wait, what the... Three firefighters were filmed working to pull him out of a hole. After some struggle, he was finally freed, but lacking one of his shoes and exposing a hole that appeared several inches wide in the ground. He seemed to be in a lot of pain.

I would be in pain too! That's like being forced to do the splits. Yeah, I know. That poor man's dick must hurt a great deal. Mama mia. That guy's wiener must be in a lot of pain.

All right. I also wanted to read the smart vest Thailand dogs. Okay. An advertising agency in Thailand has developed a smart vest that potentially could turn stray dogs into guardians of Bangkok. Equipped with a hidden video camera, the vest has sensors that transmit live streaming videos when the dog barks showing what the dog sees via mobile phone these are stray dogs on the street uh most of thai cities and the developer thought smart vest could help both the dogs and the community it'll make people feel that stray dogs can become night watches who is a set of guys dog cops yeah dog cop uh martin turner manager director of fuket based

soy dog foundation which was formed over a decade ago to save stray dogs and cats across thailand welcome the initiative turner says that there are many cases of cruelty against animals in thailand despite introduction of the country's first animal welfare law which penalizes wrongdoers with a maximum of two years imprisonment and 40 000 uh bot which is 1200 the project began in march this year and took about five months to materialize developers say a lot more tests are needed before the vest can be introduced into communities for trial runs really all it's going to be is like video footage of dog butts. Yeah, I know. And like trash cans. And like sniffing crotches.

There's not going to be much. They're going to be like, what did we get on the dog cam today, sir? Well, um, you're not going to believe this, but a lot of butt. A lot of butt. Just a lot of dog ass. Insane amount. Let me tell you the real news story that

i didn't tell you about yet okay this is the big one all right kfc launches chicken sandwich into space next week this is the big you're right this is the big news this is the one i to hear the story. It's one small step for a chicken sandwich and one giant leap for fast food. Uh-huh. On June 21st. Oh, we passed it. It's already in space? It's already in space. We missed this momentous occasion?

KFC plans to launch its zinger chicken sandwich into space via high altitude solar powered balloons known as stratalites. A word combining stratosphere and satellite. Of course, please. The chicken sandwich will zip up to about 28.5 miles above Earth. Not quite the 62 mile threshold to be considered the edge of space. But as the New York Times time notes it's cheaper than shooting off an orbiting rocket assuming the launch goes kfc ain't gonna spend that kind of money kfc ain't got rocket money they got balloon money you ought to make dollars if you want that

rocket money yeah they'll do the rockets yeah uh assuming the launch goes off the balloon and the sandwich will float above earth for at least four days while stratolite records tele telemetry Yeah! KFC is funding the flight of the Zinger Which will mark the balloon's first multi-day mission Worldview co-founder and chief technology officer Tabor McCallum told the website That the project will benefit both companies The mission offers edge of space access How does that? Pause!

Pause! That's bullshit! There's no way It'll benefit both companies How does that make There's no way It doesn't make any sense The edge of space Find the KFC

On the edge of space We've always wanted to go to the edge of space KFC has always wanted to have a KFC On the edge of space It's a double win It is There's going to be a KFC on the space station soon Yep

The Stratolite launch will be streamed at KFCIN.space Get out Hold on. Kfc.in No, kfcin.space Oh my god, it's in a little

bucket. It's in a little bucket. It's a KFC in a little space bucket. For those who've been asking, oh my god, they made a video and they put it on the KFC YouTube channel. It has 1,000 dislikes. They took KFC into space and 1,000 people hated it.

Oh my god. There it is. The first comment is, I can't believe they actually did this. I thought it was just a joke from the commercial. The next comment is, hopefully this drops on my property. Why? Why would you want that? Why would you want that? He's gonna eat it. KFC sandwiches,

even after like, ten minutes, everything in it is soggy and gross. Why would you want it after it's been in space for three days? Well, because quote, the time has come to explore beyond our known horizons to push kfc's spicy crispy chicken sandwich to new heights get out there will be questions like why there's some ad exec hired by kfc that thinks they are very very smart and they have just done something

amazing in reality they've wasted everyone's time and money everyone's time and money's been wasted they'll be at a party and they'll just be like uh you know what do you do they'll be like i just sent the help send the kfc chicken sandwich into space i i can't yep this is this is what we've done this is what this is what we've done. This is what we've done as a nation and as a world. We've sent a chicken sandwich into space. Hey, you know what? What are you going to do? This one guy's response was, the world is dumber than ever.

I think that sums it up quite nicely. Yeah. The world is dumber than ever. I think so. Fair enough. nicely. Yeah. The world is dumber than ever. I think so. Fair enough. What are you going to do? All right. Well, that's it for us.

Thank you so much for watching, listening, or wherever you're at. Be sure to give us some reviews on the old iTunes. And as always, to be continued.