Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 140 - Sex Robots Will Kill Us All!

Episode Date: September 12, 2017

Cox n' Crendor return, and this time they're taking on the hard hitting news stories that people need to be made aware of! Did you know sex robots are here, and they are out to kill you?! Also, eating at Nando's may lead to poop throwing. Jesse and Crendor also discover a new Nic Cage movie that they MUST SEE. All this and more of this weeks episode of Cox n' Crendor! Today's episode is sponsored by Squarespace.com/coxandcrendor where you can get 10% off your first website purchase or domain transfer. Make the move! Also sponsored by Draftkings.com: use promo code COX to play in DraftKings free contest with A HUNDRED THOUSAND dollars in total prizes THIS SUNDAY.

Today's podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Whether you need a domain, website, or online store, make your next move with Squarespace. This episode's also brought to you by DraftKings. So you can use promo code COX to play in DraftKings' free contest with $100,000 in total prizes this Sunday. That's promo code COX, C-O-X. Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trendom. Let's Crandor in the Morning. This episode is brought to you by Cox and Crandor in the morning. Hello, everybody.

Welcome to Cox and Crandor in the morning. Hello. I am so sunburnt. I am red. I am charred. I am like bacon. I'm a smell. Why'd you go out? Why'd I go out?

Because I was like, well, you know what? I'm going to take some me time. I'm going to take some me time. I'm going to take some me time. I'm going to go to Disney, and I'm going to go to the San Diego Zoo, and I'm just going to chill and relax and have a good time. Plus, it was like an office getaway because I had two birthdays. There were two birthdays in the office today. Yeah, two birthdays.

That's more than one. I know. So it was a fun getaway. Yeah, it turns out four days out in the sun is four days too many. I am red. That's even with sunscreen. It still got me. It still beat me.

Hold on. Math isn't adding up. Okay. One's a zoo. One's a Disney. Where's the other two? Well, no. So I went to Disneyney two days oh okay i

did two days at disney and then i had one day of just like relaxing and not doing anything but that involved like driving around and like you know not doing much yeah and then i went to the zoo in san diego and that was super fun uh didn't see any animals doing crazy stuff most of the animals were like oh my god it's so hot yeah every single one of them had that look on their face it was like oh oh this isn't oh man i ain't gonna move for these people let me tell you classic animals yeah they were it all you know those goofy pictures where it shows the animals they are sitting like, and they look like worn out? That was every single animal.

Every single animal looked like that. They were just like, oh, not today, kids. Spray me down with the hose. One of my favorite bits is I was by the giraffes, and this woman was telling her son, like, oh, it's like Shakira in the movie. Shakira. Now, one, giraffes look nothing like shakira two i believe she was talking about zootopia but shakira in zootopia was a gazelle so either way yeah i was angry at this mother i was not pleased i gave her this death glare like

lady you're lying to your kid right now you're wrong on multiple fronts i don't even know what to tell you right now but you are wrong what did the kid do is he just said no the kid was just like what is that mom she's like that's shakira i was like what this gets older he's like look a wild shakira he sees the giraffe and he's like those look, a wild Shakira. Shakira, Shakira. He sees a giraffe and he's like, those hips don't lie. Have you ever seen a Shakira in the wild? What's wrong? What's wrong with him?

Dude, she's like 40. She still looks like she's like in her early 20s. I'm telling you, Shakira is hot. Hot. Also, I like Spanish Shakira more than I like English Shakira. Oh, yeah. Everybody does. Spanish Shakira.

When she sings in Spanish, you're like, ooh, damn. When she sings in English, she's like, what? What is that? I'm moving. Yeah, I don't like her English voice. That's just me. So yeah, I got all burnt up and went around the zoo, but I will say, because I know you'll know this, at Disney

they changed out the Tower of Terror. Remember when we went on that? Oh yeah, I remember. They changed it, so now it's Guardians of the Galaxy. And apparently there are six different versions of the ride because when you get in rocket plugs in the cassette player and it plays songs from the movies right and the one we got was jackson five want you back which was great it was super fun but the way it does it is every song changes

the ride so you go up and down and drop based on the beat of the song. It was super cool. And then you get different scenes. So each ride is a different adventure and a different way they escape. And so, uh, it was, it was terrifying. I loved every minute of it.

For those of you have never done tower of terror, or I guess in this case, the, uh, guardians escape fantasy or whatever the hell it's called. Basically you, you get strapped in and then it takes you up two floors and

drops you or takes you up three floors and drops you or takes you all the way up to the top and then drops you or makes you go up and down really fast or just does whatever. You literally are either falling free falling or you're going up so fast that you like I can't even describe it. Thank

God there's seatbelts. you feel like you're about to fly off into the ether it's the best ride it's so much fun the thing is all those rides that's why I like Disney because at Disney the rides are like an experience or like an adventure or whatever

like other rides like Six Flags or any of those types of places just a ride like here's a roller coaster ride I don't like that I like the adventure Disney Flags or any of those types of places, just a ride. Like here's a roller coaster ride. I don't like that. I like the adventure. Disney doesn't do any of the, like, I think there might be one roller coaster in all of Disneyland where it's like you go up and then go down a big hill. Most of it is you go up and then you sort of wind your way down or you are like in the Indiana Jones ride where it jerks you around a lot. And then sort of takes you into this big mouth.

It's like, and there's like background stuff and then you have to outrun a boulder and stuff like that. Or it's like Pirates of the Caribbean where it just does a little drop at the beginning and then it's like, and now for pirates.

Yeah, or the cars ride where you're like, you like race the other people. Oh, the cars ride was awesome. Yeah, it's sort of like a driving around having some fun and then the last half of it is a race against another car yeah that's cool as shit yeah that was fun my favorite ride is the hang glider because i don't really do anything you're up high as big screen then they like spray smells at you i I went on that. It's the exact same thing. Yes. Patrick Warburton still does the intro. He's like, I'm your flight attendant.

That's my Patrick Warburton voice. I'm your flight attendant. Get ready. I'm going to be your flight attendant today. That's way better than mine. Here we go. Yep, that's it. Here's the plains of

Africa. But they spray smells there and it's great. It's great. Yeah, it's so cool. They say and then if when you go over the Antarctic, it's kind of chillier in the room and yeah, it's super cool. I am what I want to room like that. It's like a oh my god room where you can

change it'll be like that one book where that the uh you know the one where there's the kids they have the room that like changes and shit that's like the old sci-fi thing and then what book is wait whoa what book is that what was it called it's uh old sci-fi thing so you'll you'll probably know what it is when i talk about it it's this book where uh these kids have a room they're like really rich in the future and they always spend all their time in the room kind of like damn kids with their video games um but this is like back in the 60s or whatever and so the kids like grow super attached to it and they're like you're banned from the room and so they set up a savannah in the room with lions and stuff and they trap

their parents in the room and like the lions are real and they kill the parents I don't know what this is and I literally just typed into google kids in a room create savannah in a room oh it's uh Ray Bradbury what is the name Ray Bradbury

Ray Bradbury you've never heard of Ray Bradbury books I is the name? Ray Bradbury? Ray Bradbury. You've never heard of Ray Bradbury? Books. I thought you were a teacher. I don't know what this book is. It's not the Martian Chronicles. I know what the Martian Chronicles are. It's this one with this guy.

And it's not Fahrenheit 451 because I know what that is. Tattoo story. What's this one? It's got to be the tattoo one right the illustrated man that's what it's called the illustrated man oh yeah interesting is it a short story collection of 18 science fiction story ah interesting so it's parents in a futuristic society worry about their children's mental health when their new virtual reality nursery, which can produce any environment the children imagine, continually project African veldt population by lions feasting on carcasses.

A child psychologist suggests that the automated house is not good for the children's development and insists they disable the automation and take a vacation to become more self-sufficient. Children are not pleased with this decision but later agree to it. They then trap their parents in the nursery where they become prey to the lions they later have lunch on the belt with the child psychologist who sees the lions feasting but does not recognize that that's what happened interesting yeah i gotta read i gotta read some of this this is i'm reading some of the descriptions of these short stories that actually seem really interesting yeah it was really good as i saw it at the library and i was like oh this is ray bradbury and then i

just ended up reading all of it and i was like it was really good and i liked it and i remember they did that on the simpsons they like parried it like on one episode yeah the martian chronicles that book which is short stories has been parried a ton like that has been a they've done that a lot yeah i'm in i'm in all right that might be like uh next time on the podcast i report back kind of deal yeah all right all right that's pretty cool all right all right yeah i how do we even get on that what i don't know what are we talking about they got us there wait yeah what were we talking about? They got us there. Yeah. What were we talking? Lions. Oh, yeah. I said I wanted a room. They could like change.

That is like the flying one. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I still want that, though. Speaking of things I want, I desperately want to see the new Nick Cage film. Apparently at the Toronto Film Festival, they debuted it.

It's called Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad. And apparently from the word of everyone who was there, it is nuts. It is nuts. So this is a quote from a guy in the audience about to watch a movie where Nick Cage goes nuts and tries to kill his children, which is the Nick Cage's premise since Face Off. Then Nick Cage, likely drunk, showed Cage-iest premise since Face Off. Then, Nick Cage, likely drunk, showed up to the Mom and Dad premiere.

Then, the director introduced the film by saying, this movie has mental problems. If you're seeing it, then you also have mental problems. Oh my god. Then, the same guy who said Nick Cage goes full Nick Cage in this movie reported back afterwards and he says, when I said Cage goes full Nick Cage in this movie reported back afterwards. And he says, when I said he goes full Nick Cage, I meant full Cage.

He sings the hokey pokey while destroying a pool table with a sledgehammer. We need to see this movie. We need to see this. When does it come out? Where is it? How do we see it? I don't know. This is another review. It's one part The Crazies, one part Freddy Krueger. When's it come out? Where is it? How do we see it? I don't know. This is another review.

It's one part the crazies, one part Freddy Krueger. I loved it. What does that mean? There's even a cameo for Dr. Oz who compares the plague to the ethological practice of savaging. This is incredible. This is in this movie. Nick Cage is married to Selma Blair, I guess, because that's a of this is in this movie nick cage is married to selma blair

i guess because that's a thing right and here's another here's here's here's another line mom and dad is the new standard for cage rage quote this is nick cage in in the movie laughing like a loon he says i was 100% sex apparently Nick Cage while watching the screening was laughing the entire time I can't imagine it's like he's got mental issues apparently

I can't believe that i wish i lived in toronto i would have gone to people are like showing the ticket stubs they got where they went to go see this i would love to have gone yeah oh my god i would have loved to have gone it's gotta be let's see come on where do you see it where do you see mom and dad nick cage release date it says september 9th but that's already happened i know i'm reading this review and this guy is basically saying that it is incredible if you're a nick cage fan you have to see this it's like a twisted remake of home alone on bath salts and in this version the wet bandits might actually kill macaulay caulkin and the director might actually

make us watch that's because the director previously won half of a bunch of stuff i don't care oh they're the guys who made gamer and crank the crank films no wonder oh i bet it's wacky as hell mom and dad isn't particularly graphic in terms of violence but it's full of truly horrifying scenes and visuals thanks to Cage it's also impossibly funny I can't okay sure

given a juicy part in the freedom to do what he wants he embraces Brent's madness and obvious glee he screams he howls he glares he cackles, he curses. And without ever trying to match his cagenicity, Summer Blair does a heroic job sharing the screen with him when he does it. Before the real insanity starts, she also has several lovely scenes wrestling with how our society treats

homemakers. I would gladly watch a whole series of movies with these two actors trying to murder their children. I can't like this. I want to see this movie so bad. Eight out of ten, this guy. Eight out of ten. Eight out of ten.

Oh, my God. This is good. Where do we see it? I just want to watch. I don't think it's ever going to come out in theaters. If it's, where is it online? I got to... Mom and Dad movie release.

Someone get us Nick Cage. Get Nick Cage on the line. Somebody. Who is the company that made this? What is the film production company? The production company that made this movie filmed in Louisville, kentucky oh my god wait mom and dad oh release date usa september 24th at fanatic wait fantastic fest that's not

does that just mean like it's coming out at fantastic fest then it's available online or something. Maybe. I have no clue. It's gotta be. Man, I just want to watch this movie. I do too. Does anyone know Selma Blair? I know no one out there listening knows Nick Cage because if you did we'd already know Nick Cage. But does anyone know Selma Blair or Brian Taylor

the director or Christopher Lemel or Tim Zaros? The two producers. Teresa Cook. Bishop Steve. I'm an executive producer now y'all. I feel like I should be having in on this. Can we get a copy sent to us so we can watch this movie? We need to see this movie.

We need to see this movie. It looks so good. Alright. Well I want it. I want it so badly you have no clue. Hashtag same. Hashtag huge Nick Cage fan. Hashtag I wish Nick Cage would be my friend is all I'm saying.

I do too. And I feel like the best way to get Nick Cage to be my friend, creating a Nick Cage be my friend website. Whoa. That's a great idea. You can do it if you use Squarespace. I'm letting you know right now. Squarespace is the best. My own website's on there. I'm just going to put this out there.

If anyone wants to make a website called Nick Cage, call jessicox.com backslash please. I would love that to happen. I think it would be easy with the 16 new beautiful award winning designer templates that have launched this summer i'm telling you it just got even easier to make that website for me i think this could work guys i think it could happen and if you create this website tweet it to us or the any or any of the other ones we mentioned leah naming people tweet them to us please please tweet them to us we any of the other ones we mentioned. Naming people. Tweet them to us. Please, please tweet them to us. We'd love to see them.

It's so easy. Squarespace is an all-in-one platform. There's nothing to install or patch or upgrade. 24-7 customer support. You can transfer domains. So if you have nickcagelovejesse.com backslash please

or whatever the hell the website was and then you want to transfer it over to Squarespace you can do that. It's fine. And then if you want to if it happens and Nick Cage does call me then you can sell stuff on the website

like shirts that say it happened and then Nick Cage and my face together yeah and that can happen too. Then he can sell shirts there. I'll allow it. I'll allow it. So I'd say start your free trial today at squarespace.com.

Go to squarespace.com slash Cox and Crandor and Crandor. And please, by all means, you'll get 10% off your first purchase. We would love to see the crazy websites you guys come up with. Please tweet them at us. And I will simply say, Nick Cage, wherever you're at, hook us up with a copy of this video, dude. I want to see it. Maybe there'll be a dinosaur head in it for you. You think there's just going to be a dinosaur head in it?

And that's why? I'll just draw one on paper don't tell him what this would be like hey we got a dinosaur head for you if you help us out he'll be like okay and then i'll be like all right it's in the mail and then he'll just get a sheet of paper the dinosaur head on it he'll be like so we're the ones plotting to give him a dinosaur head, but also revealing that we're going to not give him a real head. Yeah, but don't tell him that. But I want him to be my friend. I don't want to piss off Nick Cage.

Well, I don't know. She likes dinosaur heads. All right. Sure. Yep. Sure. That's all I'm saying. I just remembered some crazy shit. You. That's all I'm saying. I just remembered some crazy shit.

You ready for this? I'm ready. So yesterday I was eating ramen, went out to dinner, was eating some ramen and the table next to me. I love LA. I love little snippets of life. I get the table next to me was this girl staring at her phone and this guy who I'm not going to say looked awkward, but he gave off a very awkward vibe.

And so I kept trying to pay attention to what was going on with them because I couldn't tell if this was a couple that sort of was just, you know, they've been out a lot together. So just like I'm on my phone and he's like eating his ramen or whatever. But it soon dawned on me that this was definitely a first date. soon dawned on me that this was definitely a first date and it was awkward because at the end they both paid separately and then they sat there and she like like he kept trying to talk with her and say stuff like so uh do you want to go out again or something like that yeah and it got to the point where let me just describe this scene to you because it was i felt bad like i felt genuinely bad so the uh guy is sitting there sort of like playing with his what's leftover ramen and this girl's looking at her phone she's just staring at the phone staring at the phone

and the guy goes something came on the radio in this place. And I think it was like from the year 1988. And he was like, Oh, I was born in 1988. And she's looking down at her phone. She goes, yep. I was born then too.

And he's like, he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then a stare at her. And then the song comes on and the song's like,

baby, I love you or some bullshit. And he starts singing it. Oh God. And, but he's like, baby, I love you or some bullshit. And he starts singing it to her. But he's like off key a little bit. And he's like, I love you. Don't you know? And she's just staring at her phone. Doesn't even acknowledge it.

Just stares at her phone. And then he keeps singing these lyrics. It must have been the longest 30 seconds of my life. And then she responds by looking up at him from the phone and goes, boy, I sure hope that hurricane misses Miami. And then they and then here's the weird thing. They both got up and she waited for him to leave. And I was like, oh, maybe they are a couple. And that was just really weird.

And they got up and walked out together. I don't know what I saw. I don't know what I witnessed because it seemed like it was a date that had gone poorly. But at the same time, it seemed like maybe they had known each other for a while. So maybe they were just friends. But then it also seemed like why would this woman be a friend with that guy if she literally does not want to talk to him well so many unanswered questions i watched some shit go down that made no sense so hold on all right so the first first thing you noticed that happened was it the uh him mentioning the radio yeah yeah

he mentioned that it was like that's i that's when i started paying attention because it just seemed like an awkward when he's like i was born in 1988 and she was like yeah i was born then too right and i was like whoa my crazy radar is about to tune in so i started paying attention to what they were doing at that point and i and he was sort of messing with his ramen at the time and she they had their checks on the table, two separate checks and I was like okay well maybe they're just like friends but then I started listening to the way they were talking and he started saying like I love you

and like singing to her and I was like oh maybe they're more than just friends but maybe this is like a first date because she doesn't seem too interested in this guy but then when they got up to leave like she waited for him and I don't want to say they held hands but but they were very close on the like walking out together. And I was like, what just happened here?

I was like, and more importantly, if they're a couple, boy, are they an awkward couple? Because that was a weird conversation. He was singing this song and tell me how much you love this girl. And she was just not at all acknowledging him. Well's the thing someone started doing that so it's like singing some song on the radio for like 30 seconds i'd be like dude what are you doing that's what i'm saying i was that guy i just didn't say anything i was like oh bro no don't do this don't do this and he just kept going and i don't know what song it was but it's definitely like a one of those like a standard like a ballad of some sort like yeah baby i love you like that

kind of stuff and he was singing it and she just was looking at her phone and her only response i wrote it down verbatim was boy i sure hope that hurricane misses miami that's what she said and then the hurricane started being like, I miss you, my. Yeah. Then she was like, she was like,

Oh, that hurricane's hot. I can be caught too. She was so uninterested in this guy. And he just, I don't know. I don't know. I thought,

boy, that was awkward. I can't wait to see what, when they leave and how they leave together. And rather than like her walking out or being like, well, this was a terrible decision or whatever. Or no, I don't think I was waiting for something to happen. Instead, she stands up and waits. He stands up and they walk out like together, almost holding hands.

And I couldn't figure out what happened. My assumption is maybe they're a couple and they just are very weird. That's true. There have been many couples I've known who show no emotion. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what it was, but affection maybe.

Yeah, it was very strange. It was very strange. It doesn't have to even be affection. It's just like normal just like normal just like absolutely conversation ability acknowledging the other person right because it definitely seemed like one of those things where she realized it wasn't going well but she had no out so she was just trying to ride it like ride this roller coaster and she was like well dinner's done i'm gonna get out of here but rather than being like thanks for a good time i'll see you later bye and you know leaving she

waited for this guy and then they left together and i that blew my mind it blew everything i thought was turned on its head maybe that was her ride maybe maybe. Maybe. You know what? You could be right. Maybe she needed him. But I would assume this is just me. I would never want to go on a first date where I drove. Yeah. The person there. Because if it sucked, God, do I not want to have to drive that person home? That's the awkward worst drive home.

Yeah. Yeah. So I guess we're never never gonna talk to each other again huh okay well good luck with your life like what what a terror what a terrible drive home that would be that would that would be really awkward it'd almost be as awkward as you know just singing a ballad for a minute oh baby it was amazing i don't i thought that maybe she would giggle or laugh or respond in some way but she just stared at that phone it was not interested which again weirds me out i don't i don't understand because he even kept like trying to prod her he would sing to her a little

bit and then say like right baby right and she would just stare at the phone oh god that's even more awkward right because he kept saying, like, I love you. Which, again, that was the first date. That's creepy as shit. Yeah. But I can't. I couldn't put this together. I couldn't square it.

It was crazy. All right. We got it. All right. So if he's doing that, that means it's either really weird first date. They're together for a while, but they're just no emotion just kind of awkward or i have no idea i mean i my assumption was maybe they are friends but i would assume a friend say that yeah i know i know i am aware i understand maybe they're just friends and he's saying that because maybe he's trying to like

get that but god I don't know I don't know that's the only other possibility it's like it's gotta be one of the three it was awkward and I couldn't I couldn't help but stare I was just like out of the corner of my eye watching the whole thing go down

I was like drama I haven't had many of those people out in public i've just seen a lot of old people like the other other dad breakfast and i love breakfast because there's a lot of old people it's more so brunch the old people love brunch and so uh sitting there this group of five old women and i always notice there's like there's the the stereotypes of the old women right yeah the one who talks a lot she's like the leader of the group then there's the one who just like quietly listens just like i'm happy to have friends

and then there's the uh the one that only talks about their their kids and their grandkids it's like they'll bring up a thing be like stephanie does that too step stephanie does it too she's my grandchild she goes to high school she goes to this high school like and they just only talk about their grandchildren then there's the one that laughs that has that old person laugh like it's that are you just are you just at the international buffet of old people there's a lot of everyone there apparently this is every breakfast place i go to there's always this group of like at least four old women and they have like the same traits every time like even uh the other breakfast place i was eating there that was when the one lady was like my my granddaughter's

down there and then she had this guy from the weather channel there and we met him and he was very nice and then my daughter right and the other lady was like yes yes yep yep i'm telling you they're great i love listening to them i like listening to old people in general i would i would love a service where you could call a phone number and it would just like patch you into an old people conversation yeah and you could just sit there and listen because boy do they have things to say about everything because they just don't care they just say what they're saying they don't care who's around it's just like they're just gonna talk and that's why that

one lady oh my god I'll remember if I did bring this up it was like years ago I was like eating breakfast a year ago and this old lady was just like if you eat an almond today Dr. Oz said you won't get cancer and I was like

Dr. Oz says it Dr. Oz said you won't get cancer. And I was like, Dr. Oz says it. Dr. Oz is a Nick Cage movie. If he says it, it must be true. It's true. And I was like, how do you even like an almond a day? Like one almond, like not even a handful of almonds, just one, one almond. And it just, it blew my mind. I was like, how does, how does how's the oven work how

do i know it's not true she could be right yeah well here's the thing what's the downside if you eat one almond a day that's not a lot of almond you have to buy yeah that's a pretty cheap even if it doesn't work it's still pretty cheap it's a cheap try yeah and everybody says that's why grandmas are always right always yeah what's the worst that could happen you you have a little almond stuck in your tooth maybe that's it yeah maybe we should try the almond diet one almond a day one almond a day i'm down that's that's a diet plan i can get behind uh yeah old people breakfast great yeah old people get way better than when did this happen it's like the afternoon oh this was nighttime this was a bunch of hipsters eating ramen oh yeah

this is old people breakfast i'll take it any day over the hipster nights well all right speaking of of date days this is a transition Let's go to chapter... Fuck! How's that traffic out there? You alright back there? Nope. Okay, well, up here it's really cloudy. A lot of clouds. You wouldn't think we're in the

sky or something. Oh, wait, we are. Woohoo! Oh, boy, look at that traffic. Looks like a lot of people are getting off of their off their path to go to things they want to go to. They're getting ready to go to hipster ramen. They're eating their breakfasts. They're doing a whole bunch of stuff down there. They're, you know, you know what? gotta keep busy you gotta do stuff you gotta go outside you gotta get that sunburn uh well probably not the sunburn part that's probably not healthy but uh i don't know just uh go get outside while it's still uh still pretty nice out there thank you

thanks crendor now let's go over to crendor at the weather to ask creor, how's the weather? Weather is looking interesting. Let's see. Wappy. Wappy, I got a better. 9, 4, 5, 4, 2. Hayward, California. Okay. Hayward, California.

89 degrees Fahrenheit. Partly cloudy. Feels like 89 degrees Fahrenheit. Partly cloudy. Feels like 89 degrees Fahrenheit. I 67 low 67 UV index 3 of 10 tonight. Rain early low 67 40 percent. Tuesday 82. Tuesday night 64. Rain thunderstorms.

I feel like the high and the low being the exact same number is not accurate. How's that possible? It's only like a 78% accuracy. High, 67. Low, 67. Well, that just seems like it shouldn't be. That's very accurate. Woppy is very accurate today he could be very accurate he does have his margins of air but that is a huge margin of

hair i believe that is a 100 margin of hair uh i don't believe that to be true i don't think your high can be the same as your low it doesn't that's not and over the course of a day that's not how temperature works i'm just saying get that guy to tune up it doesn't make sense well i mean i'll get him checked you know tune him up but i mean that's what he says that's what he says you know that's what he says it's what it says there you go that's the weather that's what he says is there anywhere in the world where it was to be like the same temperature the entire day? No, no, that's not how it works because the sun a day is 24 hours. What about a place? 5 a.m.

The temperature is going to be a lot cooler than it is at noon. For example, what about a place where there's not a lot of sun? Even then, just the heat. Even if there's not a lot of sun, darkness will still be cooler than a bright day. What if they have weird weather things going on? Like the coyotes gather and warm the temperature by like two degrees to keep it that way. I mean, if that's what coyotes do, if that's the big reveal about coyotes and that's what their purpose is,

I'm all for that. But i don't think that's true all i'm saying is there might be some crazy shit going on i'm not saying it's not happening i'm just saying it good yeah like all right okay look i'm not gonna the science is still out the size is still out. Yeah. We don't know if coyotes change the weather or not. Science is still out. We'll probably figure it out in the next 10 years or so. Yeah, yeah. 10, 15 years.

We need more studies on it. Yeah. Please fund us. Coyotesciencepatreon.com. Yep. Okay, well then let's go to the sports desk. Sports. Welcome to the sports desk. How. Welcome to the sports desk.

How you doing today, everybody? How's it going? Having fun? You having fun? I'm having fun because football's back. Football is back. NFL's happening. Crazy stuff going down.

New England lost in their first week. Buffalo won, but it was against the Jets, who are probably the worst team in the NFL. The Bears almost beat Atlanta, but they are bad, and then they didn't. Cincinnati got shut out at home against Baltimore, 20 to nothing.

The nasty natty, still nasty. Pittsburgh beat Cleveland 21-18, but Cleveland actually looked better. They could probably pass up Cincinnati this year. Good for you, Cleveland. So ruthless. So ruthless.

Still terrible for Ohio. That's a person who lived in Ohio but was a Steelers fan for his life for almost a good 20 years. Let me just say, I feel bad that Ohio, the way they get through stuff, is by going like, go Buckeyes. College is all they got. If you're a Steelers fan or if you're a Bengals fan or Browns fan, I feel for you.

Because every year they have like, maybe this is it. Maybe they got their shit together. And every year they're let down. It's true. Cleveland just always, they know they're going to let you down on purpose. They're just like, yep, we're Cleveland. And then Cincinnati's like, hey, we made the playoffs again. Then they lose.

Yep. That's what they do. Detroit beat Arizona. Go to Detroit right now. Don't go Detroit. They're my division. Jacksonville beat Houston. That's kind of crazy.

Oakland beat Tennessee. They're both getting pretty good. Philadelphia beat Washington. LA beat the Colts. Yes. Everyone in LA was losing their mind. Like, yeah, Colts. Yes, everyone in L.A. was losing their mind. Like, yeah, all right, maybe we'll be good this year. It's like...

As an experienced NFL statistics veteran that plays Madden every year, let me assure you that that's not going to happen. I don't think it will either, but I've had a lot of fun conversations with fans that are just like oh this is our year baby la is back it's like the colts are possibly the worst team in the american football conference their defense is terrible they have so many injuries andrew lucked in place they had a backup quarterback. That was the third stringer on Green Bay that we cut like two years

ago. You know everything. Scott Tolzien, man. Damn. Damn, this is that Madden info. Jacoby Brissett, they put him in. Brissett's not even ready with the offense. He got traded a week ago from New England. All right. He's not even ready. And that's the only

thing he can do is score the 50-yard touchdown in garbage time where they're not even caring anymore. jared golf's not be that great he's gonna be okay oh my god so let me just you know bring you back to earth a little bit gotcha yeah yeah yeah understandable um damn so green bay won go green. We beat Seattle. That was good. So we're 1-0. Very happy with that. Aaron Rodgers, very strong, powerful player, best quarterback in the league. Carolina beat San Francisco, and Dallas beat the Giants.

Giants look terrible as well. Eli Manning is now very, he's old. He's not good anymore. God, he got old quick. Wasn't he like the young brother? How did he get old? he like the young brother how did he get old he was the young brother however uh he's kind of just always played and payton's kind of taking the spotlight like eli manning how old is he's 36 now and he's i think he's been in the league like 15 years or something. My God. Been a long time.

He got drafted in 2004. So yeah, 13, 14 years. Maybe I'm the old one now. No, it can't be true. It's Eli Manning. It's the children that are wrong. Oh, man. Well, football.

I will simply say that if you are as up on the foosball as my dear friend Crandor here. That's me. There should be nothing stopping you from going to DraftKings.com because week one is in the books, people, as you heard. And it's never too late to get closer to the game you love then by going to DraftKings for its one week fantasy football this Sunday $100,000 pick'em contest totally free to enter now I will say I played in the billion dollar one and it was a free entry and I won three dollars and I'm very happy because that was $3 I didn't have. And now I get to play with it.

How did you win $3? What was your, what was your $3 win? Well, it was a free entry. And then as long as you placed in the thingy, you won. So if you like got first place,

whatever you want a lot, but I didn't do that, but I was good enough to get $3 and that's going to let me enter into a thingy. So I want to know what $3 good enough is. I'm going to have to enter this week so I can see. I want to know what $3 good enough is. I want to know what $3

good enough is. Apparently Pick'Em is this new way to play. You can draft your teams even faster, which is crazy to me, so I can't wait to see what that's about. There are eight tiers and all you have to do is select one player from each tier, I guess is the idea.

And, god, that sounds awesome. And then you can choose between public contests for big cash prizes or private contests with your friends. You can do beginner or casual. The best part is you get to draft a new team each week without any commitment. Yeah, I love the idea

of it sort of having tiers of players that you pick one from each and that's super commitment. Yeah, I love the idea of it sort of having tiers of players that you pick one from each and that's super fast. Also, I think it kind of makes it easier for idiots like me who's like, I didn't read stats. So that's oh my God, I might get my three dollars baby. Yeah, get your three

dollars. I put it in as like, you know what? I need a cheap tight end this week. So I went with Austin Hooper. I knew he was playing the Bears i knew the bears secondary sucked it's just a bunch of mediocre to old veterans that are just in there they can't cover a tight end boom second half hit he had like an 80 yard touchdown i was like there it is three dollars coming in that's beautiful so get to draftkings.com now and use promo code COX to play DraftKings free in this contest for $100,000 this Sunday. That's promo code COX to compete for $100,000. Totally free to enter.

Give it a try. It's a game inside the game. Eligibility restrictions apply. See DraftKings.com for the deets. Okay, let's get to our big news story of the day. Big news story of the day. Big, big, big, big news story of the day. Woo, woo. Is that just you stalling for time until you find the news story of the day. Big news story of the day. Big, big, big, big news story of the day. Is that just you stalling for time

till you find the news story of the day? No. I wasn't even looking. Now I need to look. I'll just be singing for no reason. Well, I have a news story for you before we get into yours. Okay.

This was linked to me today on Twitter. And it's not even the real headline this is just what the link says right sex robots will eventually be capable of murder what so of course i was like well i have to click the link oh jesus it's gonna be and the photo is literally a man flexing like hard flexing while holding a robotic woman's face. And then you click the link and then the link takes you to the article, which then has a sex doll from true companion dot com. We're going to give them a plug because I want people to go there and look. I'm not going there.

And it's like a doll laying on a couch. It looks terribly unsexy or unhuman-like. Yeah. It says, hackers could program sex robots to kill. This is posted in the New York Post, so I don't take any of this with a grain of sand, because it also comes from The Sun, which, from all of my UK friends, are like, that's a tabloid it's gross yeah but here's the article i trust it anyway because you never know with sex robots right a cyber security scientist has issued a bizarre warning that sex robots could one day rise up and kill their owners

west world if hackers can get inside their heads. Last month, tech billionaire Elon Musk claimed that artificial intelligence could take over the planet, and he's not the only one concerned about the dangers of killer tech. With robots becoming increasingly popular and sophisticated, cybersecurity lecturer Dr. Nick Patterson revealed that the lifelike dolls could end up going all Terminator on us. You know he's a scientist when he's used. They're gonna go Terminator, those robots.

I like how they had to say cybersecurity lecturer. It's just a guy. Just a guy named Doctor. Can we look up who Doctor Nick Patterson is? Doctor Nick Patterson. Doctor Nick Patterson. However, in the case of sex robots, the danger isn't the love dolls will end up developing minds of their own Westworld style.

Instead, the risk is that hackers could breach the realistic robots inner defenses and catch their owners with their pants down. Barf. Pause. Time out. Pause timeout. So Dr. Nick Patterson is either a deep chiropractic massage person or a Ph.D. computational biologist in the medical and population genetics program at MIT at Harvard. I don't know if that I'm going to look at this up because the link to another article where the Daily Star is told by this Dr. Nick Patterson.

Cyber security lecturer, Dr. Nick Patterson. What the hell? All right. This on the Daily Star.co.uk. Sex robot armies. Fears hackers could create killer cyborgs and turn technology on punters. I don't know. I guess that's British slang. I don't know what that means.

Oh, here he is. The sex robot craze has swept the globe. Pause time. What year is this article written? Because I don't see no sex robots anywhere. They're sweeping the globe. Sweeping the globe. This is what I was thinking.

Like, everybody's doing it. And it's like i don't i don't see any i don't see anyone i mean maybe they're in their house maybe they're in the houses nobody wants to talk about it i don't know i can't shame i can't even you're nicholas patterson phd professional academic at deacon university melbourne australia that's him i just all right i'm looking at all these sex bots and i'm saying to myself two things one right they look very expensive two where would you store a sex bot and how do you explain that to people who then come over to your house like yes this is my sex bot like this is a lot of questions

well you're gonna you're not gonna would you keep your sex bot on the couch when people come over i'm just saying you can never once you buy a sex bot you can never have sex with a real person again because that shit would just like i feel people people would become like someone would be at your house and eventually someone would discover you'd live a paranoid lifestyle like don't go in that closet there's a weird sex bot if don't go that closet like goes to the bathroom like i wonder what kind of towels they have they open it just the sex bot thing falls out and they're like help me i'm just saying it would be impossible you couldn't you couldn't bring anyone over

because people would just immediately you would always think people were trying to find your sex bot maybe they hide it under the bed also none of these sex bots look look like yeah they look they look like you are trying to bang a plastic figure and none of that's sexy yeah like the only time it looks somewhat real is if it's like a picture of like the body and they like have it like looking a certain way right but that's clearly they spent 45 minutes posing that that sex doll photoshopping it and even that's not a sex doll that a sex bot that's a sex doll they're saying that these are sex bots which is not true yeah when i think sex bot i think like westworld when i think sex bot i think like chrome heavy metal sexy ladies with like pointy nipples. Now that's hot.

Like Star Wars, like C3PO, but like with tits. Now that's hot. You just want like the Jetsons or whatever the shit it was, but the robot maids a sex bot. Rosie the maid? Yeah,

you want, that's like what you want. Mr. J? Rosie, Rosie, but a sex bot Rosie. Yeah, yeah, you know, like C-3PO, but a sex bot C-3PO. You know? I don't know.

Sex C-3PO. You know what I'm saying, right? Oh my, Master Luke. Exactly. Listen, I'm telling you, I guarantee there's some like what's it called? Rule 34 or whatever of Rosie, the Jetson. Please. Of course there is. We don't even need to look that up. I know that's true. Here's here's the thing. This guy apparently told the Daily Star online hackers can hack into a robot or robotic device and have full control over the

connections, arms, legs, and other tools like in some cases even knives or wielding devices. Often, these robots can be up to 200 pounds and very strong. Once a robot is hacked, the hacker has full control and can issue instructions to the robot. Alright.

One. Unless your sexbot is connected to the internet. I am harnessing my knowledge from the cloud. That is a giant leap. Like, yeah, I bought this new sex bot hooked up to the cloud. Yeah.

Nobody's going to do that. Like what's it gonna do download a patch or what do you need is it gonna like tell you the news oh my it's yeah it's like uh alexa it's basically it's basically the amazon.com version of a sex bot. It's like we're like Alexa. It's like it's a good like stripper Alexa name. Alexa. I feel like it's great. That's a great name.

And it's just oh my God. It forms a relationship with you first. It cares. And then it murders you. Yeah, it's literally either the hacker has to break in your house and then do it or you've

connected your sex bot to the internet in which case either of those scenarios is incredibly stupid yeah like what i still don't get why you want to connect it to the internet i guess people like want to mod it or something you want to mod your sex doll listen people want to mod everything i guess you're right i guess you're right. I guess you're right. Who am I to judge? I'm still mesmerized that this article is saying that sex dolls have been around. Sex dolls. I was about to say sex bots don't exist.

First off. But apparently they've been around for 40 years. What does a 40 year old sex doll look like? And why do I think it'd be the funniest thing on earth? 40 year old sex doll. Oh, this is so weird. Of course, it on earth. 40 year old sex doll. Oh, this is so weird. Of course it's Japan.

And that just looks bizarre. Oh my God. These are so weird. It's just brings up like the TLC show and stuff. I can't pain. Oh, Japan. God bless Japan.

It's literally, it's all Japan. Yeah. Classic. All right. So is there anything else about this? Once a robot is hacked, the hacker has full control.

Yes, we know. We know. So does it make any sense or there's no reason for it? Yeah, I don't get it. I don't know. This is my favorite quote.

The last thing you want is for a hacker to have control over one of these robots. Why? Why is that the last thing I want? If anything, this seems like the least successful version of hurting me by hack. It doesn't make sense. You've hacked my sex bot. Awesome. What does he think these robots can do?

Because at this point in time, there's no such thing. This is all hypothetical mumbo jumbo. This is incredible. Even the article says this warning may sound a little far-fetched, but the robots run using an operating system just like a phone or PC. That's not how hacking works. This may sound crazy, guys, but you know the robots use an operating system that can kill you windows 10 probably can kill hacking works at all like what's it okay you

hack into it what are you gonna do like you'd be like robot stay robot look for metallic object robot use thing to beat per like it's not gonna do that I mean even then like got that technology you have you have to program Though you have to reprogram the robot and the robot then has to be built for The like that aspect of the programming so for example if you tell a robot to punch someone if the robots hands are not Strong enough to actually physically hurt someone, if the robot's hands are not strong enough to actually physically hurt someone, like if the fingers and everything aren't,

it wouldn't do any damage, right? What are you telling the robot to do? Robot headbutt someone. I'm pretty sure the robot's head isn't like solid metal, right? It's not. This is nonsense.

It's like programming a calculator to like beat up somebody. It doesn't make any sense. It's stupid. It's stupid. It's stupid. It's clickbait. And I hate it. Yeah, I love it. I need more of it.

I want more. I want more of it. I just like how the link was sex robots will eventually be a cable of murder. If we're lucky, that's what I'm hoping for. If I can have on my tombstone, killed by sex robot, then I will have lived a good long life. That's all I want.

I want to see a widow and crying children over my grave and it just say killed by sex robot. And she'd be like, I warned him. I told him not to do it it but he just loved those sex robots that's it that's all I want well that implies I have such a wonderful understanding wife who's like the man just loved to bang robots listen maybe there's somebody that has a robot fetish you don't know yeah yeah maybe maybe

being you know you're not being oh are you saying out there there's a lady for me with a robot fetish the two of the two of i and the two of i you say that lady's me and i'm just gonna fall in love with me and then we're gonna go and bang robots i love it i mean don't get your hopes up i won't i'm not all right all right well what is your new story all right so i have found one that people have sent to us a lot woman trapped in window trying to retrieve poo after tinder date yep i saw this one i saw people send this to us it is the best story you have to start reading this all right see i haven't read this at all so i'm still confused uh a woman trust me trust me you're gonna be more confused after reading it because it doesn't make sense all right there's a lot of things today that don't make sense. A woman who threw her poo out of her date's toilet window because it would not flush had to be rescued after she got stuck trying to retrieve it.

Time. Pause. Already? That is illogical. Everything in that sentence does not make sense. That is where we're going with this story. I want you to take a moment and just appreciate where we're going with this story i want you to take a moment and just appreciate where we're going with here's already the questions i've i've come up with from this

threw her poo out of her date's toilet window why is there a toilet window a window in the toilet a window in the bathroom yes window in the bathroom because there's a window in the bathroom it's a very nice bathroom all right why is she throwing her poo out of that window why there's the real question why is she grabbing it anyway there's a better question is it would not flush but like all right just keep going just keep going to the story to be okay the amateur gymnast was on a first date with bristol student liam smith when she panicked and threw the feces out the window it did not land in the garden but became wedged between two non-opening windows

i like how she was so panicked she didn't notice there was another non-opening window on the other side of the window she just chucked crap out a window jesus all right well after climbing in headfirst after it she became wedged mr smith had to call the fire service for help the story appeared on a crowd funding page set up by the university of bristol student if the story yanks your chain you know i don't give a shit mr smith who is raising funds to his broken window, wrote that he was on a Tinder date with a woman and they went back to the shared house he lives in. We had a really nice evening.

We had a meal at a well-known chicken restaurant, had a few beers and Nando's. Sounds like Nando's. That's a Nando's. They went to Nando's and then she took a shit, a Nando's shit, and then threw it out a window. And they went back to back for a bottle of wine

and a film. So they're already, their beer's in and they're drinking a bottle of wine. Yeah. Maybe that's it. Oh, they were gonna bone down. That was a bone down session. Here's what I know to be true. They were gonna get it on. Girl went to the bathroom. She was like, you know, I gotta get my poops out. I don't know what about

to happen. Yeah. As people do as people do gotta get the poops out i don't know what's gonna happen that's my life motto right that's the fun i want that on a shirt so bad gotta get the poops out i don't know what's poops out. I don't know what's gonna happen. I mean, you don't know what's gonna happen. You don't want to be anywhere with that problem. I feel like she had one of those things like, we're going back to his place. I got some beers in me, some Nando's.

I'm gonna get some wine. We're gonna get freaky tonight. I gotta get the poops out. I don't know how freaky we getting. then the toilet like it wouldn't flush or something was wrong with the toilet and so she panicked because she was like oh god i don't want the guy i'm gonna bone down with to come to the bathroom to see my big turd yeah exactly here's my question at that point she had two options either one go out and be like yo something's wrong with your toilet i don't know what's going on like i don't know or she could have not said anything and let him think it he's in a house with other people apparently so maybe she could come

out and be like someone left the grossest shit and like she could have turned it on him be like i don't know who's that shit is but there's a shit in there. Yeah. Instead, she decided to reach in the toilet, grab the turd, which, by the way, can we just take a moment and discuss the constitution of her turd? Because that is the firmest turd I have ever heard of. She reached in and grabbed it with her hand. That thing must have been like a candy bar strong how is it possible how is that possible i don't know she is she is eating her fiber or something she is dropping solid bricks you gotta eat your fiber she picked this thing up and then decided to chuck it out a window. I just, I just times times out.

So she chucked it out the window. If this plan has succeeded. Right. And she had been chucked a turn out the window. Right. And then I assume hopefully washed her hands after that. She then would have gone back and I'm going to dare say hooked up with this dude with dirty turd hands. after that she then would have gone back and i'm gonna dare say hooked up with this dude with dirty turd hands she would have she would have been rubbing her dirty turd hands all over

this man like oh baby you're so hot rub rub rub and he would have had dirty turd on him she would have then known that she was boning down with the guy who has dirty turd all over his body and really come on i'm just saying it don't make a lot of sense come on that this plan is not well thought out wash your hands i imagine uh-huh it doesn't make it any less weird i mean obviously so all right so she then proceeds to try and get the turd back because she threw it into a pane of glass, which at that point I would have not. I don't think this is just me as a man. Right.

And this might say a lot about me. Maybe it means I'm sexist. I don't know. Right. I don't ever think that if I was in a house with the date I was with, plus I'm going to sue my roomies. If I went to the bathroom and saw a turd on the window, I would never in a million years think a woman in general through that.

That's clearly a guy thing. Only a guy would take a turd and rub it on a window because that's gross and men are gross. I remember in like fifth grade, one of the eighth grade people did that and the rest are like, who put the in the men's room on the stall? Someone rubbed their feces on that. And everyone was like, oh, no, I didn't do it. And then the one like eighth grade boy was like, hey, that's what I'm saying.

Guys are gross. And so I can imagine a group of guys living together. Someone would be like, hey, threw my poop at the window. I was drunk. Everyone be like, my poop in the window I was drunk everyone would be like aww I don't need you to drink my last beer absolutely right she could have got away with it at that point she just left it

was like mm-mm I'm not touching it because it's so crazy at that point I firmly believe no man in his right mind would ever think his date had done that yeah clearly he would have blamed it on anyone else in the house but not her because that's crazy shit yeah and i think that she should have walked away at that point but no she being such a good i'm gonna say good person i feel like she knew that

she was in the wrong decided i have to take this into my own hands and get that turd back. Wait. Okay. So he said the woman went to the toilet when she came back. She had a panicked look in her eye and told him what she had done. He said the toilet window opened into a narrow gap separated by another double glazed window. It was into this twilight zone that my date had thrown her poo. He said he went and he went to find a hammer to smash the

window but she decided to climb in headfirst after the offending package and became jammed i was starting to grow concerns so i called the fire brigade and once they had composed themselves they set to work removing her from the window oh yeah i, I guess they did eat at Nando's. Of course they ate at Nando's. Of course they ate at Nando's. This is a solid post-Nando's story. There is no story that starts with Nando's that doesn't end with you

crawling through a window to get some poo. That is how every Nando's story ends. Hands down. Then he said, although the woman rescued was unharmed, the bathroom window was destroyed i'm not complaining they did what they had to do problem is i've been quoted north of 300 pounds to replace the window and as a postgraduate student that's a significant chunk of my monthly budget mr smith originally set a crowd crowd funding target of 200 pounds but has already raised more

than 1200 he said he and his date had decided to split the extra cash between two charities, one supporting firefighters, another that builds and maintains flushing toilets in developing countries. Unsurprisingly. Apparently they've got another date. Hot diggity. Yeah, I guess.

I think what he was quoted as saying is all the weird stuff's gotten out of the way now. Yeah. So at least we know it like that kind of stuff here's the thing I kind of agree yeah I kind of agree at that point you know everything you need to know about the other person it's true and if they are willing to come back

and hang out with you again after that mess yeah that's that's real love right there that's real love and you know they're committed yeah they're committed to getting that if I ever felt so in love with the person that them throwing poop out my window did not phase me i would know that's the one i'd be like you know what i'm gonna marry this girl i would know right away right away hands down i would know right away all right well i guess that's it for us thank you so much for listening we will see you next time please leave a comment or a suggestion

or a like on this video this video video video on this podcast on soundcloud or on itunes or wherever we would love to hear from you uh let us know on youtube thumbs up on the youtube yes that's true cox and crendor podcast is the thing cox and crendor is the animated one cox crendor podcast is the youtube one so please by all means follow us on all the different things and we will see you next time. Thank you. And as always, to be continued.