Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 143 - Big Mac and the Sauce Attack

Episode Date: November 21, 2017

Hashtag FTS BRO! After traveling the world, the boys are back! Ok, well one of us traveled - the other went to Walmart... dare to take a guess who was who? While Jesse shares his awkward international travel stories, Crendor takes us deep into the world of Big Macs and the McCoxnCrendor. We also learn about a woman's love for a skunk as well as what happens when your your teeth get your immunity low. All this and more, on this exciting episode of Cox n' Crendor! Cox n' Crendor is sponsored by MeUndies.com! Get your pair of totally away underwear by going to meundies.com/CRENDOR - Trust us, your buns will thank you!

Today's episode is brought to you by MeUndies. MeUndies, the underwear I am wearing right now on my body. Hey, hashtag same. I'm wearing mine as well. I have been promoting these for years, for free. Now they're paying us to do it, and I can proudly say, get yourself some MeUndies. They're awesome. They are awesome. I am wearing mine right now, and they're very soft, very comfortable,

and I was always a doubter. I was a doubter, and I was like, they can't be that great. They are that great. It's true. All right. We'll get into that later, but let's get into the show first. Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog.

Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-hour recording studio. Recording. Wake your ass up. It's Cox and Crendor in the morning. Hello, everybody.

Welcome back to Cox and Crendor in the morning. FTS. FTS. FTS, bro. I'm GTGFTS, hashtag hello. Hashtag hello? Hashtag hello. You nailed it, you nailed it. For everyone who is wondering what the hell are they talking about, for some reason while

we were setting up for this podcast, Crandor and I just decided that FTS was our new thing. Yeah. FTS. F that S. Yeah. F that S. Yeah, there you go. F that shit. Yep. I almost choked and coughed into that joke. I held it all inside.

How'd you... Yeah, it was like that. I was trying to... Go back. Go back. Listen to the tape. I was like... I was trying to Go back, go back, listen to the tape I was like I was trying to hold it in, I couldn't Shit, dude, FTS FTS, man There it is, FTS

It got out It got out So, wow Hey, everyone, it's been a while since we've done one of these We One of us traveled The other probably stayed at home. I did stay at home.

I had tooth pain. It wasn't fun. Why? What happened to your teeth? Well, I had a crown, and I've had a few crowns. Normally, they're not bad, but this one was like- That's why I call you queen, because you got a crown, baby. That's why I call you queen.

FDS, bro. See, I got a crown. It was my far back tooth. it's like my far upper left back molar tooth wherever it is and so apparently that one affects your bite and your jaw a lot and uh it did because my jaw like died and so i'd wake up in the middle of night and i'd have to take advil and i'd be like oh and then it would last like 12 hours and it'd come back and i'd be like and then i went to my dentist and he adjusted my bite and he's like your bites high from the thing and they did wait how did he adjust your bite he like bite on this paper it's like bite paper

or something it marks your teeth and like where your bite hits and it makes little areas blue and then he like drills down little parts of it to help even out your bite okay yeah i get it yeah he said it's the equivalent of like having a pebble in your shoe like after a while it's gonna make your foot sore if you keep stepping on it and that sucks yeah and so he gave me uh there he took an x-ray and he was like yeah your tooth's like kind of inflamed like uh and irritated so he gave me an anti-inflammatory steroid and then tooth's like kind of inflamed like uh irritated so he gave me an anti-inflammatory steroid and then he's like it'll probably lower your immunity a bit and then i was like oh your high immunity is my high immunity was low so i knew if i went anywhere i'd get sick and i was

like no i can't do this but i still ate my yogurt still ate my yogurt you gotta keep that you gotta keep that immune system up yeah and so even if the doctor's like it's yogurt you gotta keep that you gotta keep that immune system up yeah and so even if the doctor's like it's low you gotta say no doc it's high yeah fts fts i uh so i did that and now my jaw is better it's still kind of sore but it like gets better every day and so i can eat food and it's great i don't wake up in the middle of the night from pain. You missed out on BlizzCon. You missed out. I did miss out on BlizzCon. I know you dressed up as the, what's her name? May.

May from Overwatch. I did. I was beautiful. I know I was beautiful. And I expected people to hate. But here's the thing. No one could. No one could hate.

Everyone's like, you're beautiful. And I'm like, I know. I get what being beautiful Is like now You understand I I understand What the beautiful people

In the world feel now Shit dude People can't even hate on them They're so They're so gorgeous That's like me now When I dress like A small Asian woman

How would you If you had to give yourself an acronym or whatever it is, what would be your letters? My letters would be S-B-C. Sexy, but classy. That's a pretty good one. Hashtag SBC. Thank you. Hashtag SBC.

What are we doing? I don't knowhtag SBC. What are we doing? I don't know. Oh, speaking of what are we doing, last episode, a lot of people were curious because at the very, very end of the episode, there's a clip that is way out of context, and it's like me saying orgy or something. What? Go back and listen to it. It doesn't belong with the story we were talking about.

Okay. Here's the reason why. I was trying to edit the podcast together because in that episode, someone sent us a story and the title, the headline appeared very funny. As we read the story, we realized it was not funny at all. It was very disturbing and not at all our brand. It was basically, someone sent us

a story that was like, hey, laugh at this terrible tragedy. And so we started reading it and we were like, oh god, this is terrible. And so I tried to edit it out and apparently I missed a clip. So let me just say, for the record, I know a lot of people send us articles, and a lot of people are like, check out this hilarious story.

It usually has a headline like, man spanks own butt with squirrel. And then you read the actual article, it's like, a man today killed 15 people and then spanked his butt with a squirrel. We're like, what? Yeah, it's like one of those. That's not funny. We get too many of those. Let us handle the news.

Yeah. We can do this. I've been doing this for years. Years. We got this. Let us handle it. Sometimes you send amazing articles, but try to make sure it's not, you know, creepy. Yeah.

There's the difference between funny and creepy. And sometimes funny bleeds into creepy, but we don't want that. We don't want those stories. We don't want that. All right. We're professionals. You can recommend, but otherwise, FTS. Yeah.

FTS, bro. The episode is just going to be called FTS. You're aware of this now, right? Yeah. It's going to be called FTS. I forgot what it stands for. F that shit. F that shit. F that S, yeah.

You also went to Australia. I did go to Australia. Man, I loved it. I think you would dig Melbourne. Why? It is a very relaxed town. All the public transportation is free. Well, downtown.

It reminds me of Seattle. It's a very coffee centric town it the weather was sort of mild it wasn't very hot but it wasn't very cold man everything about it was just cool at night the streets were still like packed with people everyone could just walk around i think because they weren't afraid they were going to be shot because gun control is very high there. I don't know. It was just an incredible week. I loved it. I loved everything about it. It was International Games Week.

So every day there was something revolving around games. I went to one event that was called global top round. That was a, um, very cool 17 video game indie devs competing for $40,000. And they all presented their games back to back to back. And then the next day everyone got to play them and some of them were really creative. And so, creative and so yeah man i i went to a bunch of um developer conferences and i got to to see the guy who made the entire story and lore behind dragon age give a talk and it was pretty funny to hear him be like yeah so boy what happened there but uh it's great it's great to hear ex-Bioware employees be like, yeah, so the last couple years. But this guy was talking about how when you create something, and I thought this was fascinating. He said when you create something like a game or whatever or a world in a game or even if you're just making a movie or whatever your vision is, always share it all the time. Make sure people understand it.

Don't expect people not to understand, like, just to, don't expect people to just jump on board. Yeah. Because he was like, when we first started talking about the dark spawn in Dragon Age, I had this idea in my mind of what they were. And I sort of conveyed it to the designers and the devs. And eventually when I got back around to seeing what they were designing, it was straight up just orcs. And he's like, well, no, that's not what they are at all.

They're these horrific monsters. And they're like, oh, well, the way we thought you were describing it's orcs. And by the time we got back to it, it was so far in production they couldn't get rid of it. So if you look at the darkspawn in Dragon Age 1 versus Dragon Age 2, they look totally different. Yeah. And he's like, oops, we goofed, but we didn't have time to fix it. I was like, that's fascinating.

So, yeah, I saw a bunch of different cool panels and talks, and yeah, I loved every minute of it. And then when I wasn't there, there was straight up just a casino right across the street from the convention center. It's called Crown. And at night, they shoot off like giant fire spouts into the air.

And it's great. I loved it. It was like one of the best weeks of my life. I had so much fun. It was like during the day, I just nerded out. And at night, went around the city and went to, like, an eSports bar. And, like, there's one bar that literally looks like Storytime Village, where it's just, like, it looks like you're going into, I don't know, somewhere in Middle Earth. It's so bizarre.

I loved it. I loved everything about it. I found, not Chinatown, but, like, an Asia town that had ramen and dumplings and banh mi and all this stuff like right next to each other. Oh, I got this ramen that was on point. Dude, I loved it. I loved it. Now, here's my question. Did you see anything crazy? No.

I saw, well, I saw one crazy guy. People told me to watch out. The actual city, I didn't see any giant animals. I didn't see any huge bugs. I didn't see any huge bugs. I don't think I saw one bug the entire time. But people were like, hey, the city's very artsy, so when you're out walking, just know that there are going to be some strange characters out there. I didn't really see any strange characters. I saw some very cool places.

Most of the alleyways were set up as sort of cafe areas. So down alleys were all these restaurants. And then in the middle of the road were cafe seating. And it was, I don't know, it was very cool. There were some alleys that were all spray painted and looked like it was just like an art gallery of spray paint. It was just like an art gallery of spray paint. But the one crazy person I did see was a guy walking down the street, literally just shouting at the top of his lungs over and over and over again,

RAGE! I don't know why he was doing that. I don't know what he was trying to get across, except maybe he was mad, or maybe he was saying that we should rage, or maybe he just liked the word rage. Maybe he was referring to, like, Nick Cage rage. I don't know. I have no clue. It could have been Nick Cage, for all I know.

Yeah, it could have been Nick Cage. I don't know who this, he was just screaming rage over and over and over again. I remember this young Asian mother hiding her child from him. But I couldn't figure out what he wanted. You know, like most crazy people, if they're crazy they're going to be like, they're going to walk around and be crazy. This guy was just shouting a word very

loudly. But he was experiencing the emotion and it reminded me of an acting class. Like if you go take an acting class and they're like, okay, today's exercise, say a word and act the word. Maybe he did take an acting class. Maybe that's why he was doing it. That's what I'm saying.

Because then you could be like, sadness, happy. Right? And he was just like, rage. Maybe that was it. Maybe that was it. I don't know. It was bizarre. It was very strange it I don't know It was bizarre It was very strange

I couldn't figure it out I was like This guy is crazy Oh my god I have the perfect I have the perfect Cox and Crenshaw story About Australia

There is one moment Alright That is right up your alley This It was the most Embarrassing thing So The very first day

I Ah Second day I was there There was an event at a place called Acme and Acme is kind of like if you live in Ohio, COSI or any sort of science center, but this one revolved around interactive arts. And so they had an exhibit that was all about Australian movies and an exhibit that was about Australian women in video games in the industry. You could play all the different games they made or were a part of the team in making. They had a Wallace and Gromit exhibit where you could go sit in the chair and take photos.

But the day that I was there was a children's day, and it was all about children and video games. So one room was literally just all these kids trying to play Mario Kart, but they were, I don't know, eight, seven, six years old. Huh? No concept of how to drive. All trying to drive in Mario Kart. It was a laugh riot. They were just, the person hosting it was like, who, what map should we do?

And all the kids saw the rainbow. They're like, rainbow road! Watching them repeatedly fall off was the funniest shit. Because they were so pleased with themselves. They thought they were doing so well. Meanwhile, they had all these chairs lined up because only four people could play at a time.

They had, the first row was the people who were playing. The row behind them were the people who were waiting to play. And the row behind them were the people who were waiting to play. And the row behind them were the people who were waiting to play after them, right? And so everyone was being very orderly. But then one of the hosts is like, okay, kids, so remember, if you want to be player one, sit behind player one. And they started doing this whole thing. This one boy who is the next to go on player four notices that

one is better than four and goes and decides to wait fifth in line to be player one well the other kids see him and go wait with him so now there is literally no one on player three and four and everyone's waiting for

player one because everyone just knows player one is the best. And so all these little kids are just like standing in a line and the host is like, we need a player three and four. And everyone's just like, boo. It was great. But, um, to the embarrassing part. So while I'm there, a bunch of people noticed like, oh my God, Jesse Cox.

Are you, what are you doing here? I'm like, oh, you know, I'm here for the week while I'm there, a bunch of people noticed, like, oh my god, Jesse Cox? What are you doing here? I'm like, I'm here for the week. I'm checking out everything. Like, would you want to be a part of the event we're doing later today? I'm like, what is it? Like, it's a kids cosplay contest. And I was like, oh no, I don't want to do that. I feel bad judging children.

I don't want to. And they're like, oh no, everyone's a prize. I'm like, I don't know. I still feel awkward. Like, oh, you should do it. You should do it. I was like, okay. So the contest starts, and I'm informed that first prize for both girl and boy is a Nintendo Switch.

All right. Second place prize is a book. Already I'm like, oh no. And then only two girls show up. So one girl's getting a Switch, one girl's getting a book.

And I'm like, oh no. And then there's a bunch of like boys there, but they're all very They're all very young Very young And so there's two hosts

And then myself and we're up on the stage And so host number one goes and interviews The first boy and the first girl And he's like okay now Jessica's gonna take the next two So I interview the girl and she's Older than everyone else there And she's dressed as a mix Between Link and Zelda which already makes it very hard for me to be like, okay, Lonk, Zelda.

Right? And then this little boy comes up dressed like Mario, the cutest thing I've ever seen in the world, like a handmade costume. Very, very cute. I have a photo of it somewhere. I definitely need to post it on my Twitter. And I bend down to ask him, like, so what's your name? And he goes, I don't know. I'm like, can you say that again?

I don't know. And I, like, look out to the crowd. I'm like, oh, my. And I'm like, one more time. And some guy in the back goes, his name's Asa. His name is Asa. And I was like. Quit considering shit

I felt like they were just like fucking Americans don't know anything god damn it I was so embarrassed I was like it's not my fault I literally couldn't understand them I'm sorry and I just had to

sit there and be like oh okay I said come on let's do this and I felt so bad I was like we need to give that kid First place And the judges were like but this other kid Dressed like Yoshi and he's really good I was like okay We need to give that kid second place I still feel bad because he got like a book Yeah now here's the thing

A book is going to open your mind and expand your horizons And take you into a fantasy world That no video game could ever do It was a cool book. It was like an art book. It was very cool. I get it. I just feel like one prize worth several hundred dollars, especially in Australia.

Yeah. The other prize, a book they can buy at Acme. No. I was like, hmm. That is true. So I felt very awkward. And the rest of the day, I was like, oh, man. Meanwhile, I bet that kid forgot all about it,

but I was just like, boy, do I feel like a doofus. Well, at least you learned the hard way that it's better to... Not interact with kids? You're right. You're absolutely right. I don't want to ever interact with kids again. Yeah. Kids and I, other people's kids are great as long as I can say hi

Make a goofy face and then walk away More than five minutes of interaction with kids And I'm like I don't know what to do anymore I mean I just don't know what to do anyway This kid's like woo And I'm like what are you doing Calm down kid I don't get it

Like I said before I was bad at making friends when I was a kid. I was a kid. I don't even like kids. I got held back in preschool because I didn't talk to other kids. Did I tell you that story? Wait, no. No.

I need. Like, it washed over me like a wave, which is what you just said. I got held back in preschool because I didn't talk to other kids. Yeah. So like preschool. Can they do that? Yeah. So in preschool, I guess the main thing you're supposed to learn is how to be social and

like interact and, you know, be like, hey, what's happening? and like interact and you know be like hey what's happening uh but apparently i would just sit alone a lot and just like be alone and they'd be like you want to go play with the other kids and i'd be like no and so uh you really are one bad day away from being a psycho killer you know that right no everything about your profile i've seen enough episodes of Criminal Minds to know everything about your profile. You are a crazy person. Well, after that, I got held back. And the next year, I was social enough to move on to kindergarten. That's because you were like the old man in the class and all the kids looked up to you.

Like, let me tell you about kindergarten. I almost got there it's harder than it looks let me tell you old baby other people got held back in preschool too i'm not the only one i bet i bet that's true i didn't go to preschool until a year later so i ended up being in a class In elementary school and high school Where I was one of the Youngest boys Maybe I went a year early Whatever happened I was one of the youngest kids in my class

So everyone was like 18 and I was 17 I was like I didn't turn 18 until The month we graduated High school Wait what oh yeah you were pretty young then Yeah I turned 18 in May 18 until the month we graduated high school. Wait, what? Oh. Oh yeah, you were pretty young then.

Yeah, I turned 18 in May and we graduated May 30th. And I turned 18 on May 18th. Shit, dude. I know. So, it was weird. It was bizarre, but that's fine. I don't mind. I'm cool with it. I was an adult

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We uploaded Cox and Crendor in the Morning Beta Episode 1, November 19th, 2012. Well, whatever day it was, I feel like we should do something special, right? We should go back and find old shit we covered and revisit it and see if there's anything new. Has chlorophyll gotten new health benefits? We're going to need everyone in the audience to send us things that they want us to cover again. Because I don't remember any of it. to send us things that they want us to cover again because i don't remember any of it someone sent me a message that was like jesse on episode something something something you and credo were talking about a movie you said you're gonna go see it and i went out and i watched this movie and then you never talked about it i was like yeah it sounds like us we would have done that

here's the thing i think we've done that multiple times oh yeah i still have a link on my desktop to reviews for the movie the wall the great wall yeah and i was like we definitely have to read the reviews to that movie because that movie was shit and uh nope nope we haven't done it yet yeah everybody go out and find us things we've said we'd watch and we didn't or that you want us to cover again and then we'll do it we'll do the big episode then yeah yeah and if we don't it's we forgot that's how we do stuff yeah bts fts now one thing we didn't forget is the mcrib that's true bring that up because mccox and crendor is back mccox and crendor is back here's

the problem though a lot of people are saying there's no more jalapeno cheeseburgers. Here's the thing. If you can't find jalapenos, that's on you. Okay. More importantly, it ain't about what's inside the McCox and Crandor that counts. It's what's inside your heart when you eat it. Yeah, plaque. So you need to have at least a McRib and at least some sort of hamburger in the middle of it. The spicier the hamburger, the better. Yeah, least some sort of hamburger in the middle of it. Yeah, I'd say. The spicier the hamburger, the better.

Yeah, the spicier the hamburger, the better. You can go normal cheeseburgers. It's accepted, but it's looked down upon a bit. I would say, if you really want to take it up a notch, a McCox and Crandor plus is a McRib, and then inside of it, a Big Mac. Oh, shit. Yeah, but no Mac sauce. No Mac sauce because Mac sauce is gross as shit.

Now, if the Big Mac's inside the McRib, then wouldn't it be the McRib's inside the Big Mac? That seems like it'd be easier to eat. No. No. Why not? That's not the point. The point is the McRib is always on the outside because? It's not the point.

The point is the McRib is always on the outside because the long bun is the outside. But you can take the Big Mac and spread it across the entirety of the McRib. Look, don't overthink this. Wait, why no Mac sauce? Because Mac sauce is gross. It's not gross. I like Mac sauce. Mac sauce plus barbecue sauce, you might as well ask for anal leakage.

You might as well ask for your butthole to leak because that is gross. Mac sauce is disgusting. That's like the whole part of the Big Mac. No, F that. Mac sauce is gross. I hate it so much. Every time I ever have any thing, when they have all the different Big Macs, our dear friend Davis was obsessed with the Grand Mac.

He would always be like, I'm going to go get a Grand Mac. I was like, it's so gross, dude. Why? So he was like, well, they have a little Baby Mac. I can get you one of those. I was like, I'll love to try it. It was a little tiny, regular size, one patty Big Mac. I was so sick because of that Mac sauce for like a day and a half.

It's so gross. I hate it. So many Baby Macs when they were out. Ugh, so gross. I love the Baby Mac. It was like the Big Mac, but better because there's only one. One patty thing. He ate those Grand Macs like three times a day. I'm shocked he's alive. Well, have you ever seen the supersize me thing

where they go to that one guy that eats Big Macs every day? Yeah, that guy is probably dead now. He's alive. Well, I don't know. Have you ever seen the Super Size Me thing where they go to that one guy that eats Big Macs every day? Yeah, that guy is probably dead now. He's not. He just celebrated his anniversary. Nope, look this up. Look this up. I don't believe this. Big Mac Man.

Big Mac Man. Don Gorski. He's 63 and he's still alive. Get out. Get out. Yep. And Don Gorski, Don Gorski. He's 63 and he's still alive. Get out. Get out. Yep. And Don Gorski, he's eaten 29,000 Big Macs. He claims Big Mac constitute 90% of his total food. Okay.

How many Macs a day does he eat though? Like two. He eats two a day. He further claims to have eaten 265 Big Macs in the following month, an average of 8.5 Macs per day? If true, this would be the equivalent of over 46,000 calories, or 4,600 calories, 247 grams of fat, for a total of 143,000 calories and 16 pounds of fat per month.

He claims to drink almost nothing but Coca-Cola. And according to supersize me, he rarely eats fries. That's because fries are what kill you. Yeah, the fries are the fries are what kill you. Not the max. Not the not the max. He claims his cholesterol is 140. He's 185 pounds.

Does it say that he like works out or anything? I don't think he does. But he maintains a stable weight. Oh, interesting. He has an average of two Big Macs a day, but that's all he has. His daily consumption of two Big Macs is about 1,000 calories. And according

to the USDA, the average person would have 2,200 calories a day. And so technically, the reason why he keeps his weight is because he eats less than half of what the daily average is. Yeah. Which still seems very unhealthy. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's better than overeating because throughout history, most people didn't have enough food.

So your body's probably more used to that. I guess. Interesting. I mean, he's 63. He's eating Big Macs every day. He's got to know something. No, I feel like he doesn't. So for the next year, I'll be going on a Big Mac diet.

No, you won't. Don't do that. No, you won't. I mean, I'd try it for like three days. If you want. He has no known health issues. I feel like he does. Maybe because he doesn't know it doesn't mean he doesn't have it.

Alright. So let me tell you our new McCoyox and Crandor sizes. You got the plus. Then there's the plus plus. That's going to be two big Macs holding a McRib. That's if you're really hungry. That could be like the Gorski. Don Gorski

literally looks like poor man's Ringo Stott. He does. I can't. Whoa! Secret menu, poor man's Big Mac, what? What? There's a McDonald's secret menu.

What? McDonald's secret menu? What have I stumbled upon? 13 McDonald's secret menu? What have I stumbled upon? 13 McDonald's secret menu items. The Lansian Air Burger. This is a beef, chicken, and a Flish. That's right. They serve Flish now.

A Filet-O-Fish on one bun. Ask for a burger, Filet-O-Fish, McChicken assembly required. A McGangbang, which we all know. The Poor Man's Big Mac. Order a McDouble with special sauce, lettuce, and onion, sans pickles, and ketchup. So, okay. The two cheeseburger meal. What do you mean?

Everyone can get a two cheeseburger meal. It's like on the menu. Yeah, it is on the menu. The Big McChicken. Oh my God. Oh shit. Ask for three McChickens and a Big Mac. Then you take away all the bread and replace it with the chicken. Oh, my God.

The Monster Mac is two Big Macs combined together. No. What? This is an eight patty Big Mac. So that has to be four Big Macs combined together. Jesus. There's a grilled cheese sandwich. Order a slice of cheese on a hamburger bun.

Receive this sad little... Why would you ever? That's... Oof. Just make your own. Fresh chicken nuggets. Ask for fresh nuggets. Okay.

A McCrape? McCrape? Why would you want a McCrape from McDonald's? Ask for one fruit and yogurt parfait and one order of hotcakes. Dress one half of each hotcake with fruit and yogurt. Once it's done, fold it over, drizzle syrup and granola. That looks disgusting. Sounds awful.

I'd rather go to Denny's. The pie McFlurry is literally just combine a pie with a McFlurry. These aren't even, they're not even like creative. They're just like Throw this shit together McDonald's meals you can't get in America Oh my god In Japan They have a bacon potato pie

Bacon potato pie Deep fried mashed potatoes with chunks of bacon Why don't we have that? That sounds more American than anything else It does The Mc McLaberca Mcloberka in Spain. Beef patty with yamon abarico, cheese, olive oil, lettuce, tomato.

That doesn't sound too bad. It sounds good. Yeah. Micarabia, Pakistan, Morocco, pita. I guess it's just a pita sandwich. All right. Great. Cool.

I'd eat McDonald's on a pita. Whoa. Mango pie served in Nicaragua. Mango pie? It's like apple pie with mango instead. That'd be great. Huh. Whoa.

Lucumu Delight in Peru. A flan-like dessert. How come every other country gets interesting McDonald's food, and we have like, do you want this patty that looks like it came out my butthole it's because they actually have real food in other countries usually double double bacon nicaragua double bacon double the fun mcdonald's korea's shrimp burger blt bagel in canada canada has a b i would go get a blt bagel at mc at McDonald's right now if we had that shit. I love BLTs. Well, you could also get McDonald's Canada's poutine.

A McTurko, a turkey sandwich. What? Oh, no. A McTurko is in turkey made of lamb instead of beef. A lamb sandwich would be great. Lamb sandwich. It just sounds like a tongue twister. A paneer wrap.

You can get a paneer wrap in india at mcdonald's mcnoodles in austria mcnoodles mcnoodles mcdonald's mc switzerland shrimp man they have a mcchicken muffin for breakfast in china what the shit is this mcdonald's netherlands mccrockett in the netherlands you can you can order the mccrockett In the Netherlands You can order the McCrockett Which features a patty with stew and beef Topped with mustard sauce That sounds awful In India you can get a McCurry

Check this out Curried broccoli, baby corn, mushrooms, red bell pepper Creamy sauce and a baked crust You eat it in the bowl The bread bowl is like Served with or without chicken You can get a freaking best bread bowl of curry at McDonald's in India. Mama mia.

Why are we so screwed? We get garbage. We do get garbage. And again, McDonald's Philippines has the McDo. In the Philippines, you can order chicken and spaghetti. It's called the Chicken McDo. It's McSpaghetti. I'd eat that.

I'd eat the McDew. The McDew. Man. So sad. We're missing out. McDonald India's Veg Pizza McPuff. All right. Combined.

I feel like we could also use two McChickens with a McRib. It can be the. To make it McCox and Crandor? Because Cox is like a rooster. Yeah. And I think they do got spicy McChicken. So if you get spicy McChicken. Oh, spicy McChicken.

Yeah. Yeah. Put that in between. Then the barbecue sauce can make the chicken barbecue tasting too. Yeah. That would be a good combo. That's a good combo. I like how we had to go around the world to figure this out.

Yeah, I know. And then tweet it to us. I know people have already been tweeting it, but keep tweeting it. Let us know. The disaster you're about to consume. The delicious disaster. Delicious disaster. That is the name of my first self-titled album.

Delicious disaster. Delicious disaster. Songs by Jesse Cox. Also. Songs in the key of Cox. That's your key. D minor. D flat.

D major. I don't actually know the difference of any of those. Whatever the key that all the little boy choir singing. That's me. Yeah. That's my entire album. It's me singing with the boys choir. Like, oh, yeah.

I remember being in the choir and I would just pretend to sing a lot i would just be like but i wouldn't be singing and then one time they figured it out they're like you can't sing and then they they got you they hit you with a stick they're like sing boy sing also sorry the mcrib is not coming back to the Cleveland area. Why? That's what they said. News this week of the McRib's return to select McDonald's locations sent fans of the Tasty Pork Sandwich into a tizzy, but you won't be able to find it in the Cleveland area. As it has been for several years, the McRib is a regional option as limited time offers and participating restaurants. Adding to the closest city to Cleveland it will be available this fall

is Lima, two and a half hours west of it. But why not? I don't know. They don't say it. I'm looking this up. Why isn't the McRib coming to Cleveland? McDonald's

employee helps lead authorities to Cleveland? No. Maybe that's it. Yeah, I see that. But why isn't it coming back? Where's the real story here? Yeah, they always miss the real story. Why isn't it coming back? I don't...

They never get it. They never understand. Whatever. All right. Well, I guess we'll never find an answer to that probably not but I feel like we should go to chop the covers down the ground or correct or how's that traffic all about traffic is going pretty well actually there's some backup on the 45 but you know it's

snowing out there so you gotta be careful crazy it is actually snowing it's snowing here at least but that's not stopping people from getting to where they want to go. It's almost Black Friday, folks. It's almost Black Friday. So the roads may be pretty good now, but just wait for a few weeks. They're going to be jam-packed. So get your shit or stay at home and buy online. Back to you.

Thanks, Quendor. Now let's go over to Quendor at the weather desk. How's that weather? Weather. It's going pretty good out there now uh i know here in shy town chicago shy city you know what i'm saying it's snowing it's actually snowing outside right now it's snowing uh i don't know about right now it was uh it's also cold but it's supposed to warm up a little bit, so what are you going to do? What are you going to do? Let's see. Batblue201526265616. Manchowg?

I'm sorry, what? We're going to Manchowg, Massachusetts. Manchowg? Manchowg sounds like a boss fight in a video game. Manchowg. Man-C-H-A-U-G. Manchowg. Manchowk sounds like a boss fight in a video game. Manchowk. Man-C-H-A-U-G. Manchowk. Manchowk.

I mean, I get it. Yeah. He's one of the bosses in Dark Souls. He's tough. You got to dodge roll a lot. Over in Manchowk, Massachusetts, it's 27 degrees. Clear skies. Feels like 16.

You got a UV index of zero. You got some 18 degree highs tonight. That's gonna get cold. Northwest winds 13 miles to 22 miles per hour. 37% humidity. Looks like it might be snowing there as well, or at least you got some cloud coverage. Who knows what's going on over there? Is that it? Manchow.

Manchow. Alright. Well, let's head over to the sports desk. Sports. Hey, welcome to the sports desk sports hey welcome to the sports desk everybody how you doing so good yeah that's good that's good so we all have sports happening we just had some nfl action we had a lot of nfl ups and downs uh some very downs for a lot of teams specifically the buffalo bills who started the season great and decided to start a random quarterback rookie and he threw five interceptions awesome go bills you know what go bills yep

there's a point where he completed four of nine passes and he'd thrown four interceptions so he'd completed the same amount of passes to the other team very very good um he's you know what i feel like that guy's got a career ahead of him yeah he's got a great career and then the packers got shut out at home watch that game it was awful brett hunley started he's not aaron rogers we're essentially the aaron rod the green bay aaron rogers that's what we are so he needs to at least you guys know what you are. At least you recognize it. That's true. We don't need to go into the draft or free agency and find stuff. We just need Aaron Rodgers healthy, and we're like, well, we can win.

Just make him a robot. If you bionic that man, he'll be fine. I hope so. I hope they're injecting him with Botoxroid cybernetics. Botoxroid? Botoxroid is the last thing you want to be injected with. The last thing you want is your face to be numb and painless, but also filled with muscles. That's probably a lot worse things you could be injected with, like custard, and probably mess up your body. Like custard? Yeah, you know? There's a lot worse things.

Put that on the tombstone. There's a lot worse things you could be ingested with. There's a lot worse things you could be injected with. Custard. Tomah custard. You don't want to ingest custard either. Somehow the Jacksonville Jaguars are 7-3. I don't believe in them still. I'm rooting for them,

but I don't... Why would you root for them? There's no reason. Because they're the Jaguars. They've been bad. They're like the Cleveland Browns of Florida. And they've finally gotten decent. Yeah, it's getting your hopes up. The thing is, right, Cleveland is 0-10. And the Packers play Cleveland in a few weeks.

And I guarantee they're going to lose to them. I know that's going to be Cleveland's one win. Because they're not going to have Aaron Rodgers back. It's going to be a disaster. Can we talk about the Steelers this past week? Oh, yeah, the Steelers beat the Tennessee Titans. How they beat the Titans 40-17? 40-17?

40-17. That is pretty crazy. Stomped them. Stomped them. But it all boils down to it. It's going to be a repeat. It's going to be like Patriots-Steelers to go to the Super Bowl. Here's the thing.

Here's the thing. F them Patriots. I can't handle it no more. I hate the Patriots. I know there are people out there who are probably Patriots fans. I'm going to let you know. We can't handle it no more. I hate the Patriots. I know there are people out there who are probably Patriots fans. I'm going to let you know. We can't agree on everything, but on this you're wrong. You're just wrong.

You're wrong to be part of that fandom. They are cheaters and liars and propped up by the government. I'm telling you. Tom Brady's like 70 years old. He's still like the best quarterback around. Tom Brady doesn't play anymore. Tom Brady it's like the best quarterback around. Tom Brady doesn't play anymore. Tom Brady, it's like the moon landing footage.

It's all fake. It's all fake. It's all fake. But somehow the Los Angeles Rams are in first place as well. You know what? That's shocking, but not really. Because didn't the Rams lose? Yeah, they've been losing for a while.

So, I mean, that had to happen eventually. The Rams are 7-3 now. Yeah. Seahawks are getting really injured, so I don't think they got a chance. The Eagles are probably the best team in the NFC. Eagles are really good. I think the Eagles will go to the Super Bowl. It could be

Eagles-Patriots, Eagles-Steelers. That'd be pretty fun. No, it won't. It's the least fun. The least fun. Over in the NBA, a whole bunch of NBA stuff going on. Bulls are tanking go bulls keep tanking get one of the top picks uh i love how you're just thrilled they're losing that we'll get good picks next jordan well they got they got markanen he's a seven foot tall finnish guy who's

amazing he hits threes he's great at shooting but he needs like other people that are good to help him out and that's why they got a tank. Boston's 15-2. Boston's really good. And then in the West, yeah, Houston, Golden State. It'll probably be Boston versus Houston or Golden State. I can already predict that, and we're only a tenth of the way into the season. So just predicting that one.

In hockey news, a whole bunch of hockey stuff happening. We got the Toronto Maple Leafs coming alive. Good for you, Maple Leafs. They're like the Cubs of hockey stuff happening we got the toronto maple leaves coming alive good for you maple leaves that's like they're like the cubs of hockey you know they just they're always the the fan favorite like the canada team and now they're actually doing all right but ironically tampa bay the place that cares the least about hockey is in first place and then st louis over in the other thing the las vegas golden knights still up there they're in fourth place in the west well there you go now we know and uh did we mention on the last episode that the houston astros won the world series i don't remember well the houston astros

won the world series and the dodgers lost take that dodgers wow ouch i just remember when we were in la eating at that uh the counter place and then that one guy there was like really excited the dodgers won that one game and he was like oh yeah that guy was losing his mind so you just know that we were just like we're just here to eat a hamburger like this is unnecessary he just he was going crazy so you know that guy's just very upset right now that kind of equally going crazy yeah he's he's going crazy but for all the wrong reasons now it kind of makes me happy so yeah that's sports all right well what is our big news story of the day big news story of the day

i'm actually found one yet but i did find an article it says nicholas cage says mom and dad is his favorite film he's made in 10 years. That's what I've been trying to get us to see. I know. Why would you tell me that? It just makes me want to see it more and we can't see it. It says a trailer is coming soon. Oh my God.

I want to see it so badly. I guess the most I've wanted to see a movie in probably 10 years, like you said. I'm letting you know right now. The reviews for this movie have got me so hyped. They're like, it is the most Nicolas Cage movie that ever Nicolas Caged. I need to see it. I want to see it so bad. Nicolas Cage, invite us to your Hollywood premiere. Please.

your Hollywood premiere. Please. Please. We would show up in tuxedos. We'd show up in tuxedos with, I'm going to say, models and or the cheapest prostitutes we can find on our arms. And we will class that place up, Nick Cage. So classy. We will class it up.

Invite us. Yeah. Let's see here black friday 2017 walmart has new trick for deals what's their trick hold on i want to see what their trick is what's walmart's trick this year walmart just get click baited i got baited in walmart is making black friday deals on toys electronics and apparel easier for shoppers to find in preparation for one of the retailer's busiest days of the year. This year's sales events will start early, beginning at 6 p.m. on Thanksgiving, rather than waiting for the next day. For online shoppers, it starts a little earlier. Black Friday 2017 deals. Waiting for suckers.

Yeah. Waiting for losers. 2017. Waitings for suckers. Yeah. Waitings for losers. Black Friday 2017 deals will run until December 12th, though some deals will remain in place right through the holiday season. That's no fun.

In order to make life easier for its customers, Walmart announced on Thursday that it will introduce color coding in stores. The retailer will use colored balloons, signs, and employees in different colored vests to help shoppers navigate the crowded stores. The retailer will use colored balloons, signs, and employees in different colored vests to help shoppers navigate the crowded stores. So what they're saying is employees are equivalent to signs and balloons.

Yeah. We really value your work. Now put this colored jacket on and go stand next to the balloon sign, asshole. Yeah. They'll probably be holding the sign and balloon ah okay that makes more sense i feel like if you're going to walmart on black friday you probably already know where the thing is you want i haven't been to a walmart in forever so yeah there isn't a walmart here in la really that i'm aware of there might be i just haven't

been to one i haven't seen one i know i went to walmart once in the last year and it was because i had to get a controller the only place was open that had controllers was walmart that was nearby and so i was like all right and it was really sad and depressing it was the last time i ever went to walmart i mean i'd go just for the great deals sponsor us walmart hashtag deals hashtag walmart hashtag fts hashtag fts let's see let's see here florida church apologizes for accidental innuendo on sign uh and what was that exactly that was bella vista baptist church forgiveness is swallowing when you want to spit classic oh my god now that's a story all right uh oh lord a church in edgewater florida of course is begging for forgiveness after posting a message that some, well, most people interpret it as being sexual in nature.

Last week, the Bella Vista Baptist Church posted a message on an outdoor sign that read, Forgiveness is swallowing when you want to spit. An Instagram user, goes by the name of Catherine30609898 posted a sign and said i think someone's a little mad at their wife although the message could be considered an oral sex innuendo church officials insist they meant nothing vulgar uh representatives of the church told orlando tv the sign was completely innocent and was intended as encouragement to forgive. We apologize if anyone was offended. Guys, I'm a huge fan of forgiveness. I love forgiveness.

FTS. FTS. I love forgiveness. Oh my god, that's funny. Hashtag ILF. I love forgiveness. Let's see. There's got to be one more thing here. There's got to be love forgiveness. Let's see. There's got to be one more thing here. There's got to be one more.

Let's see. Psychic help. Wait. Psychic help sniff out missing pet skunk? What? All right. There it is. If our skunk went missing, we'd raise a stink, too. A woman in Devon, England is breathing easier now that her missing pet skunk is home safe in Sam.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, time out. Time out. Hashtag T.O. Time out. T.O. FTS. All right. What are we missing at the start of this story?

Literally the first part of this article should be, crazy woman keeps skunk as pet. Why? Why would you keep a skunk as a pet? Oh, I have a story. I got a story. Okay. The other night, I was walking outside, and I walked out front, and there was a skunk there.

And I got freaked out, and I was like, and then the skunk saw me, and it was like, and it like went like, and it like stood all up. And then I just slowly walked back into the house. Wait. I love that you open the door, you look outside. I walked outside. You walk outside.

Yeah. And the skunk sees you. Yeah. You see the skunk and you go. Yeah. And the skunk sees you and is like. Yeahunk and you go yeah and the skunk sees you it's like yeah and then it stands up like oh yeah and then after all these noises have occurred you just walk back inside yeah like he didn't spray me or anything i was just i got freaked

out he got freaked out because i got freaked out and then we just walked away you went your separate ways i understand i understand he was a little scared you were a little scared yeah and you know how to talk to each other so you just walked away yeah he kind of did like the the thing a cat would do where he like puffed out like and like stands up yeah like cats do when cats puff out and stand up that's what they do anyway makes sense sarah harris Back to the real story. 40 said her beloved skunk, Dottie, disappeared in early July when they were camping. Harris and me.

What? She brought her skunk camping? I guess so. There is so much to this story. There is a lot. I don't. Okay. That could be its own story.

Sarah Harris, 40, brings skunk camping. Yeah. Like that. There's stories its own story. Sarah Harris, 40, brings skunk camping. Yeah, like that. There's stories within stories here. Yeah. Harris immediately reported the missing animal, but had no luck finding Dottie, despite some occasional sightings by other people. Weeks passed, and Harris still hadn't sniffed out Dottie's whereabouts.

That is, until she reached out to a local clairvoyant named Becky Willoughby. She felt that Dottie was near a garden shed. Uh-huh. More days went by until Harris got a call from a man who had seen a Facebook post about a missing skunk. He took a picture of Dottie and sent me a text message to say he might have seen the skunk in the garden. And the psychic had sensed Dottty was under a garden shed all of a sudden i saw her she edged forward and a friend managed to grab hold of her it was as if she had never been away it was a perfect reunion dotty actually sprayed harris but she seemed to cool

down by the time they were driving home i just found a random skunk in her garden shed. Is that my Dottie? It sprays her and she's like, that's my Dottie. And they go home together? Yeah, they go home together. Dottie curled up in the car in a blanket. I had to give her a bath. She smelled very earthy. That was late in July.

Since then, the skunk has apparently shaken off any lingering taint of her ordeal. I absolutely. How on a scale of one to ten, how smelly do you think this woman is? Probably very smelly. Skunk stench is rough. Yeah. This woman got sprayed with it. It did not faze her.

She picked up her skunk, went home. Her car probably is a dead zone. Oh, yeah. Her car, nothing exists in there but her and that skunk. If I was hitchhiking and she offered me a ride, I would jump in front of the car. Right. I would rather die than get in that car with her.

But you could make a skunk friend. I don't want a skunk friend. Why not? Skunks are notorious sex offenders. Pepe Le Pew was after that damn cat for so long. The cat just wanted to leave its life. Pepe was all rubbing on her. Leave her alone, Pepe.

I don't want to be a friend with skunks. Skunks are creepy. They are creepy. It's not wrong. Then again, maybe they're friendly. No, they're not. That's, about peppy lepew i just said peppy lepew is is a sex offender oh yeah i wasn't paying attention god damn it i think that's all i got all right well that's it for the show then thank you so much for listening please Please rate us on the old iTunes.

Give us all the five stars that we deserve. Watch us on YouTube. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast and Cox and Crandor. One's the podcast. One's animations. All that and more. We'll see you next week with another episode. Thank you so much for watching.

And listening. Mainly listening. Yep. That's it. As always. That's it. As always. To be continued.