Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 148 - P-P-P-P-Pirate Ghost!?

Episode Date: February 8, 2018

It's time for an all new Cox n' Crendor! This episode the boys discover the love between ghost and a Jack Sparrow Impersonator, Crendor tells the story of the time he was trapped in a Subway, and Jesse decides Curling is the best Winter Olympic sport. All this and more on this more await when you click play! Have any feedback? Let us know! Throw some 5 star reviews our way on itunes! Check out our animated Cox n' Crendor youtube page! Help us take over your entire life! Today's episode is sponsored by MeUndies! We're wearing them right now and they are AMAZING! Get your valentines order in right now at meundies.com/Crendor

Today's episode is brought to you by me undies. The undies I have on me right now. That's true. I also have them on me. Not yours, but mine. My own. I don't know. Could you have the same color? What color are you wearing right now? Uh, gray. Alright. Nope, you do not have the exact same ones as me. Alright. My collection is of very monotone neutral colors. Mine is like, right now I have tie-dye on i'm feeling it you know what you got tide pod no i am not a 14 year old idiot anyway me undies we'll talk about

it later let's get into the show hello everybody it's time for ghost and trend dog For Cocks and Crendog! For Cocks and Crendog in the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios! Recording! Wake your ass up! It's Cocks and Crendog in the morning! Cocks and Crendog in the morning! Hello, everybody!

Welcome back to Cocks and Crandall in the morning. Hello. You are very chipper. How are you? You know, I'm doing pretty good. I've had a lot of things happen. You know what you have, actually? You've had a lot happen to you. This past week, I received three videos from you, all that seemed very crazy. Yes. And apparently you have a story that you want seemed very crazy yes and apparently you have a

story that you want to tell me and then you did a lot you did way more than me i didn't do any i i've been trying to remember what i did i think someone asked this to me earlier this week like what'd you do last week yeah i don't i can't remember what I did two days ago. That's how I usually am, but now it's flip-flop. Yeah, okay, tell me. Tell me about your incredible life. I'll just relax and drink a nice fresca. It's not a fresca, but we'll pretend it is. All right, I'll pretend it is.

How's your fresca? You know what? It tastes just as terrible as a fresca does. All right, good. I can imagine it now. Yeah. All right, good. I can imagine it now. Yeah. All right. So let me take you back a few weeks when I got locked in a subway.

You've hinted this story to me. I have so many questions. One, how did you get locked in a subway? Let me take you to the start. All right. Yeah, please. We had just gone to Ikea and i was like i'm kind of hungry i want subway and then toaster woman was like all right i can get subway so we're like

all right we'll go to subway so i was like you stay in the car i'll go in and get it it's easy so i go inside there's something like there's something like dude on his phone what time is this by the way what time is probably like 7 30 p.m Okay. Wait, so why were you at Ikea at, let's say, 6.30 p.m.? Why not? I mean. There's never a wrong time for Ikea. But there had to have been a reason behind it, right? I hadn't been there in a while.

But. Probably got spring collection stuff. Oh, okay. Sure. Yeah. All right. Sure. Yeah. All right. Okay. Anyway.

Who am I to question? How foolish of me to ask these questions. I'm now questioning you. Like, what's wrong with you? You don't want to go to Ikea at like 6.30 p.m. on a weekday. I do not. I've never been into an Ikea. I couldn't tell you.

I still, we need to just one time just go when i visit again and film your initial reactions i have many initial reactions i'm sure all of them will be like all right well this is a place but it's not just a place anyway that's beside the story clear clearly so i go clearly right i go into the subway, and I'm like, all right, I get my turkey sub. All right. I'm like, what do I do? We get our things, and then there's like one guy who's in his mid-20s just chilling on his phone in a booth. Wait, what kind of turkey on what?

I get it on honey oat. Honey oat? Oh, how very semi-health conscious. You went to Subway, so not really. That's like going to McDonald's and ordering a Diet Coke. You know, you thought about it, but you didn't really care. Exactly. What toast get?

She gets the veggie sub on whole wheat. Foot long? Six inch. You know what? Part of me hoped she was just like, you know what? I just like a really big size well normally She might get the foot long, but this time they had a coupon all right

And then the coupon was like buy one six inch sub you get one free. I was like shit, dude. That's a deal That is a deal that is Kind of deal a mother of three would go for that was the kind of deal that would drive me to go to Subway at 7.30 p.m. There was no six-inch deal that would ever get me into a Subway. I got to have all 12 inches. I want all 12 inches filling me up. I need all 12 inches. All right.

So there's these two women that like work at subway one of them's like walking around just like on the phone and talking very loudly and i'm like all right okay and then the other woman finishes the the sub she's like all right whatever then i'm like all right well i'm gonna leave and then the woman goes to the door and she's like we are locked in and i was like what and she's like what we can't nobody can leave nobody we are locked in the repair the key key guy is coming and i was like wait what wait what yeah who was saying this the there's two women that work at subway one was making my sub the other one was uh on the phone and she worked oh so she worked there yeah I think she was like I thought you meant there was a random woman walking around on the phone

who then went to the door and was like we are now locked in I was like wait that's not how this works no no no no no so it was like the owner or something maybe the owner's wife somebody like that and she was just like we are locked in we are locked in 5-10 minutes 5-10 minutes he's coming

the guy's coming and I was like what I was like i just walked in here like a few minutes ago and i tried to open the door it was locked and i was like what and then she like pointed at the lock thing and she's like it's broken it's broken like the little box there's like the electronic thing wait whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, broken like literally right after i got did you break the door i don't think i did all i know is that i went in one minute and the next minute i couldn't get out i just okay all right i have somebody i wonder maybe it was broken before you got there and the door you open you can i guess no you can't open the door from the outside because the other guy could but then again the one guy that was also in there who's like he's probably his mid-20s or something he's like just on his phone as soon as it got unlocked he left but he was sitting there not

eating anything so i was like was he stuck in there and then i could have been the way out by opening the door and then yeah that's what i thought like everyone was like oh and then you closed the door behind you as you went in They're like, oh, here's the thing. I was like, oh, so we're locked from the inside So I texted toast and I was like, hey, just come open the door and she came to open the door and it was locked And she's like no no doors locked door is locked and I was like this shit is going on and then We're like, all right. Well, we'll just wait for this key guy so it's like yeah 5-10 minutes the locksmith will be here he's gonna unlock the door

we're good this crazy old woman comes out of the bathroom I didn't even know she was there she's like ah there's another person involved okay here's the thing without this woman

this would have just been like alright I wait around and then you know the doors unlocked. I leave this woman made me Okay, do you imagine you know in those movies? I know I get it because you sent me video of this going down I was like what you know in those movies where there's the guy who runs the lighthouse and he's always this like movies where there's the guy who runs the lighthouse and he's always this like like a like a loner that just lives out in the lighthouse by themselves and they're like hunched over in their hood to like withstand the waves and like got the lantern like oh the waves are coming that's what she looked like she looked like the waves are coming is that what you think goes on in the lighthouse so there's just an old man who's like, Hey, the waves are coming!

Yeah, but in this case it's an old woman. And she comes out hunched over, and she's holding her phone, and she's like, Oh god, I don't know what's going on, I don't know. And she's like, uh, ma'am, we're locked in, we're locked in. And she's like, we're locked in? What? What? Why are we locked in? And they're like, the locksmith's coming, we'll be out in like ten minutes. And she's like like oh, okay

Oh, we might as well pull up an air mattress sleep in the kitchen Now it's like oh Jesus I just like kept looking at my phone even trying to not make eye contact and then the other dude He was just sitting there on his phone He didn't care and this woman just starts talking on the phone to someone and she's like Jerry I'm gonna be coming can i still come over tonight i'm coming over tonight what you do you don't gotta be an asshole you don't gotta be an asshole all right every time i want to come over you turn into an asshole and i'm just like what is

what is happening i don't know what's happening. And she's just like, oh, yeah, just say it again. Say it again. Fuck you. And then she hung up the phone. And I didn't know if she hung up the phone or not because she kept talking. She's like, the nerve of some people. I can't believe they just turn into other people.

You start talking to them. This guy's an asshole. I was like, is she still on the phone? Or is she talking to other people. You start talking to them. This guy, this guy's an asshole. I was like, is she still on the phone? Or is she talking to me? Or is she talking to herself? Or is she just, like, I'm not sure. And I was like, is the locksmith here yet? And then the lady who worked there is like, hey, free Doritos, free Doritos.

And she gave everybody free Doritos. So I got free Doritos. I wonder if there is a legitimate lawsuit you could have filed based on you being trapped in this restaurant. And they were like, because there's no way. I don't imagine they would have been like for the 10 minutes inconvenience them being like here. I wonder if they were like, just give them Doritos and they won't sue us. Yeah, it's possible. But then the lady, she starts being like oh all right all right what how do we

get out of here and they're like ma'am we're locked in we're locked and she's like oh what about what about the other doors there's another door back there and they're like they're all and she like tries to open it and she's like all right she starts like trying to open the door like ma'am it's locked she's oh i'm sorry i didn't realize all the doors and i was like oh my god it's the locksmith it's the locksmith here yet and then she calls the guy back i think and she's just like all i'm asking is if i can stay over all right can i stay over in the house do you even want me there do you even want me there and then finally the locksmith guy gets there and he unlocks the door.

And I'm like, oh my, thank Jesus, I'm getting out of here. And so I get out. Other guy leaves. He gets his car. I start driving away. The woman starts walking up to the car, holding out a finger like, one moment. And she's like, uh, uh, uh. And I was just like, I don't, I'm going to run you over.

I'm going to run you over. I just like kept driving. And then she just gave up. And I like got like, I don't, I'm going to run you over. I'm going to run you over. I just like kept driving. And then she just gave up. And I like got out of there. Do you think she was going to ask you to drive her to Jerry's? I think so. That was my biggest concern. I was like, I'm not driving you to Jerry, dude.

I'm getting out of here. And I got out of there. Believe me, I am not taking you to Jerry. I'm doing Jerry a solid here. He does not want you. I'm sure if you lived in like a country environment or like in the south or like hey lady where do you live? I need a ride to Jerry's like oh no Jerry hop on in this is then you live in a city your whole life It's like excuse me. So I'm like nope gone. Bye

Excuse me, sir. Could I get your car? Will you take me to Jerry's? No, I will do none of those things it is she like started walking and I could tell she was I was like Nope, didn't make eye contact drove off never saw her again. I wonder if she talked to Jerry about you that night. She might have People what an asshole then I tweeted about it and subway tweeted at me and they said what flavored Doritos Subway tweeted at me and they said what flavor Doritos and then they also said I'm telling you there was a lawsuit that you could have filed against them guarantee it they also said also

can you DM us so you can we can find out what happened there they probably don't want to get sued yeah nope they definitely don't so that was my subway story. I made it out alive. That's a solid story. Like I said, if it wasn't for that woman, it would have just been nothing.

I would have just stayed in there. They unlock it. I leave. But that woman just made it crazy. The moral, I feel, don't go to Subway. Yeah, that's a pretty good moral. Yeah, you can eat fresh at other places. Many other places do serve fresh food.

It's crazy. It's true. And even though Subway says it's fresh, it's typically not fresh whatsoever at all. Also, I had a dream. Go on. So in this dream. Hold on. I need to put on my psycho and an anal list

Analyst glasses that's right. That's the way I go anal glasses my psycho glasses all right um Go on yes, please continue in this dream. I go. I don't know where I am It's like a big mansion area, but it's not a man. It's like one of those crazy country clubs You know and you're there. I know. I'm there. Oh, interesting. And your parents are there. What am I doing? My parents? Your parents are there.

And I was like, hey, it's me, Krendor. And they were like, hey, we're about to go to this restaurant up in the mountains. And I was like, oh, that sounds good. And they're like, come along. And so all of us start hiking up this big mountain to get to this restaurant. And you're like, this place has the best food. It's got the best food around. And your dad's like, it's true.

They got the best food. And we get up there. It takes like forever. And we finally get there and they're closed. It's just like this small shack place on the top of a mountain. And they're like, we closed yesterday. We're done forever. And you're like, you can't close.

They got the best food. And your dad's like, they have the best food. and they're like we closed yesterday we're done forever and you're like you can't close they got the best food and your dad's like they have the best food and he starts like smack like bashing on the window to like let them in that sounds like that sounds like us yeah and they're like that's only something we would do and they're like sir we have no food left it's all gone and wait why why are there people there though this is okay yeah i'm gonna analyze this please no keep going so yeah there's people still there, but they closed yesterday and they're out of food. And so we're like, ah, shit.

Well, I was like, I was really excited to try that food, but I guess we're not. And then we started going back down. And as we're like climbing back down the mountain, you like slipped and you like start sliding and you're like, whoa. And you like slid and disappeared. And that was it. And that was it? Yeah.

So you mean you could have died. You could still be alive, but like in a group of jaguars or something. Like, I don't know. Could this dream be about how you and I and my parents in this scenario represent my extended family on the internet? My extended internet friends and family is what they represent. Oh shit. Possible. Could this not be a dream about how, as you and I ascend to greatness up this mountain,

at the very, very top is where we're finally going to get our due. And I think a Cox and Crandor movie is what I think. I agree. And we're ascending this mountain to greatness together, and we're bringing everyone we know along. But when we get to the top, there is no movie. It was all for nothing. It was all for nothing.

And your biggest fear is then we realize there will never be a Cox and Crandor movie. I'll slide out of your life forever. I will simply disappear. Because our dream, as everyone knows, we're only in this for the movie. And if it doesn't happen, I'm out. And I think that might be what you're really worried about. I think it's pretty accurate.

And the movie, my story would be me trapped in a subway. Yeah, yeah. But who would play me? And who would play you? Who would play you? Oh, man. All right. I'd be played by Bradley Cooper, obviously. All who would play me? And who would play you? Who would play you? Oh, man. All right. I'd be played by Bradley Cooper, obviously.

All right, all right. And you would be played by, I think, Donald Glover. Donald Glover. Hold on. I like that you're Googling Donald Glover. Yep. Yeah, yeah. You'd be Donald Glover.

I think I'd make a pretty good Donald Glover. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You'd be Donald Glover. I think I'd make a pretty good Donald Glover. Yeah. And that would be our movie. And we call Cox and Crandor the movie Fresh Out the Box. Fresh Out the Box. Fresh Out the Box is the name of our movie. Cox and Crandor the movie Fresh Out the Box. Secret of the Ooze would be the subtitle. No, who's the name of our movie. Cox and Crandor, the movie, fresh out the box. Secret of the Ooze.

Would be the subtitle. No, who's that one guy? All right, I know. Who's that one guy? Pedro Pascal. Oh, Pedro Pascal. Very. I think he'd play a good me.

No, you're definitely, you're Don Glover. I'm Bradley Cooper. Pedro could be like, I don't know, he could play like one of the side characters. Like, I think he'd be a good Grey Storm. Mm-hmm. That's true. He would make a good Grey Storm. I feel like there's plenty of amazing actors who would want to be in our movie, I think.

This movie would be great if it ever got made, but it's not going to. And then Nick Cage would play Nick Cage. Yeah, it would have to have Nick Cage in it. And then Nick Cage would play Nick Cage. Yeah, it would have to have Nick Cage in it. Yeah, he would be the Mike Tyson of our Hangover movie. Yeah. It would literally be the exact same scene, except it was Nick Cage doing...

Oh my god. Speaking of movies, I saw The Maze Runner. I know you did, and I have not seen it yet. I tried to make an effort, a valiant effort to go this week, and every time I was like, yeah, yeah, I want to go, it wasn't playing at the time I wanted to see it. And I was like, hmm. Damn. It's almost like no one has seen this movie.

It's, without spoiling it, I don't think it holds up to the first maze runner movie um well do they even run any mazes there were not particularly how much running was done in total oh there's a lot of running okay there was a lot of running then could we say that life itself is a maze and perhaps that's what they were running it's quite possible plus okay there was there were still a lot of moments where we've had uh we've had the same type of thing happen in the other movies where i'm like which movie series is this so i'm like is this the one where they're like they left the city i'm like oh wait no that's the divergent and i'm like wait but this is, and I just, I started realizing how much they all blend together even more, especially with this movie. Yes. Yeah.

Well, I look forward to it then. I seem to recall the last time, the last movie left off with them in the desert and the one girl betrayed all the guys. And that's sort of how it ended. That is. And I was like, oh, okay. The betrayal is that she went on to have a real acting career. And all of them sort of stuck with this movie. Yes.

But does she get her redemption arc? You know what? I hope that she does not. I hope she turns out to be a villain because that would be amazing and ballsy, but probably, probably they're like, you're the only one who can save us. She's like,

you're right. And then she becomes a hero. Barf. Um, wow, don't spoil it. Yeah, it's,

uh, it's all right. It's a solid, like, six out of ten. Maybe, like, you know. All right. Well, I need to see it just so I can.

Yeah, I'm ready. I don't even know. I don't know what it's going to be. I'm also excited because apparently just in the last 24 hours, they released the new Cloverfield movie. Oh, yeah. The last Cloverfield movie was so good that's the one with uh what's his name john goodman yeah john goodman where he has that girl trapped in the basement yes so that's such a good movie yeah that was a really good movie

so i'm very very interested to see what i guess the night this one is netflix and it takes place in space oh shit so i have no idea what that's going to be like. It says, A group of scientific researchers on a space station attempt to harness an energy source called the God Particle, only to unleash something terrifying. Julius Ona directed this sci-fi thriller which stars Gugu Mbatha-Raw, David Oyelowo, Daniel Bruhl,

Elizabeth Debicki, Chris O'Dowd, and Zhang Z. Chris O'Dowd? Hold on. Is this the real Chris O'Dowd? Chris O'Dowd. He looks like a 40-year-old Mathis. Chris O...

Yeah, it's the guy from IT Crowd. Yeah. That's incredible. Okay, sure. I'm totally in. I want to see this very badly now. Yeah, I want the guy from IT Crowd. Yeah. That's incredible. Okay, sure, I'm totally in. I want to see this very badly now. Yeah, I want to see this movie. If it's anything like the other ones, hopefully it's 99% we don't show you anything,

and at the very, very end we show you something. Although the first Gloverfield movie was kind of like, I don't know, I'm over shaky cam. So I did not like that one. But the next one was great. Yeah. So here's hoping. Fingers was great yeah so we're here's hoping fingers crossed here's hoping here's hoping anything else crazy happened what i mean man you've done a lot this week yeah uh let's see hold on i got anything in my notes oh my god i forgot you have notes you did so much you took notes i forgot for new year's which is like a month ago. But on New Year's, we were looking at shit to watch on Netflix,

and Gmart was like, yo, what is this? And so we watched Bill Nye Saves the World, and it's a terrible show. Yeah. It's like they took the premise of Bill Nye Science Guy and said, what if we replace all the wide-eyed kids with celebrities? And it ruined what Bill nye was so absolutely so we watched one on weed bill nye was like hello fellow kids do you enjoy marijuana and then they're like and then he's like well fellow kids i have a thing for you to look at and then he like

plays his vhs tape and it's like marijuana is good for you you should smoke it on the daily and then he's like on the daily now yes it's me 1950s guy smoking on the daily and then i think the worst part of the entire show is he's like we've got a little uh surprise for you we've made a ultimate frisbee competition where half the competitors are high and the other half are not and i was like okay and uh here's the thing they were not high they were just acting high as like kind of goofy wannabe actors trying to make it in the business high they're just like i'm so hungry i eat my doritos and then are you sure they were actors i was i would bet a lot of money they were actors like a lot of money i'd be more sure of this than betting on the super bowl damn damn yeah like

is to the point where you know how somebody was pretending to be drunk, they'd be like, I'm so drunk right now. It's just like, I don't even know what you're talking about. I love you. You're funny. It was like that, but high. It was so bad. So like every time we're like, I don't know, man. Yeah.

What are you talking about, man? I was like, if that person was actually high, they wouldn't even be like, I'm eating Doritos. They'd just be like, oh. Oh. They're just like, hey, man. Like, what? Oh.

Yeah. Yeah. Hey, man. Whoa. Like, we're playing Ultimate Frisbee, man. It's like, whoa. Ultimate. Where am I?

When was the last time you saw someone high on weed? I don't know anyone who's ever like, oh, shit, man. Where am I at, man? Depends on how high you are. I mean, if you're like 14 and you think that's what being high is about. Well, it was more like they should have just been really chill. You know, they should have just been like, all right, let's go. But they're just, they're overacting it. Well.

Don't watch Bill Nye. It is. There you go. Trash. Trash garbage. Very dumb. Trash garbage. Yeah.

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All right. You pull up to your lady your night right now. All right, all right, all right. All right. You pull up to your lady or dude's house. Mm-hmm. You have the two MeUndies. No, you have the box of MeUndies. Right, whole box. You have a whole box of MeUndies. You pull up, and you go to the door, and you go, bing bong.

At the door, he and or she shows up and is like, baby, what are you doing here? We're not supposed to meet for another hour. You're like, don't worry. I brought you a gift. And she's like, oh, my. Or he, oh, my. And then their mom is like, hey, who's at the door? And they're like, hey, they're just bringing me some MeUndies.

And they're like, oh, all right. That makes the rest of what I'm about to say really weird. So they open the box. They open the box. And there's only one pair in there. And there's like an empty space. Like, wait, shouldn't there be two pairs in here? And then you pull down your pants like, oh, there were.

And now you show them yours. It's like, hey, we should put these on together. And then you take it to the bedroom and their mom is like oh my the mom is in there like oh dear why haven't you gotten me some MeUndies and then their dad is like

oh they'll go on the google.com and just put in MeUndies.com slash Crendor and order you some alright and that's the best valentines you could possibly ask for MeUndies.com slash Crendor and order you some, alright? And that's the best valentines you could possibly ask for. MeUndies.com slash Crendor. Go there right now. Alright, well, Crendor, what

is going on with Chopped Goblin and Scott? Hey, it's Chopped Pop up in the sky with Chopped Pop. Yep. I forgot what Chopped Goblin 7 was called. I called it the Chop Chopper number seven was called. I called it the Chop Stop.

Chop Stop. Up here at the Chop Stop, we'll be opening five new locations of our prime Chop Stop restaurants all over America. We serve chop. We serve sap. We serve a whole bunch of stuff, but especially we serve traffic. And right now, the traffic is looking pretty good. People are all drunk at home from their Super Bowl parties passed out. The roads are clear because nobody's driving.

And if you're drunk, you better not be driving. But, I mean, if you're listening to this, it's probably the morning anyway and everybody's hungover and they're just like, I just want to listen to something. And then you're listening to this podcast. And how are you doing? Well, happy morning to you or late evening or I don't know. This is Chop Pop 7 Up in the sky back to you.

Thanks, Crendor. Now let's go over to the weather desk. Crendor, how's that weather? Weather desk. Over here at the weather desk. Let's see. Weather. All right.

I'm going to give Woppy the day off. He's been having a rough couple episodes. Yeah, I've noticed. he's been going through some stuff Yeah, he's had some issues We're working through it Let's go to Tainan Tainan City, Taiwan 53 degrees there

It's actually feeling like 49 However, a little bit chilly Right now over here it's like 20 or something Not liking it A few showers gonna be happening in the morning. Overcast skies during the afternoon. Highs around 55. So maybe put on a jacket.

Winds north at 10 to 20 miles an hour. Chance of rain 30%. It's about 3 in 10 if you do the math. Winds could occasionally gust over 40 miles an hour. Sun starting to rise a little later 6 37 a.m setting at 5 49 we're getting a little over 10 hours of daylight now that's better than a couple months ago eh sure yeah i was trying to mimic the normal weather people weather people like to do that they're just like we got so much sunlight now coming in it's increasing by one to

two minutes per day. You add that into the month, that's gonna be about 30 extra minutes of sunlight at the end of the month. You flip that clock upside down and we're gonna be rolling. Yeah. That's Tainan, Taiwan. Alright, well, then let's

talk sports. Sports. Welcome to the sports desk. Super Bowl's over. The Patriots have lost. They lost the Super Bowl to the Philadelphia Eagles. You know, a lot of people say we're going through some shit as a world, but this gives me hope. This gives me true hope.

If the Eagles can do it, anything's possible. And really, this might fall a little bit on Tom Brady. He missed the pass. He was supposed to catch the touchdown pass. He dropped it. It should fall on Tom Brady. Earlier this weekend, I was asked how best to describe my feelings on Tom Brady. And I basically was like, he's the Hollywood Hulk Hogan of football.

He pretty much is yeah yeah he's he's like this guy who is just a villain just a villain and because he's just so like everything goes his way you can't if you like him you're the you're the type of person who's like man I want to be an n an NWO. That's just the way it works. Yeah. Even if you don't care, I think just as a casual sports fan, you would get to a point where you're like, man, it's getting kind of boring watching

the Patriots as a casual viewer. And I know that makes all the Patriots people like, well, get over it. Get over watching the Patriots. But like, come on. It's just boring seeing the same teams over and over you know i agree with you i'm i'm in yeah um so that's the uh it's the nfl season now i can move on to the off season packers getting ready to draft and start winning multiple super bowls in a row which will you know that won't be boring and then over

in the nba land whole bunch of stuff happening trades trades are happening bulls traded nikola mirotic to the new orleans uh pelicans and they got a first round pick bulls are getting ready to rebuild stop that's a it's a stack draft class whole bunch of crazy star players coming in the league could be the next lebrBron in here. You don't know. It's going to be pretty neat. Wacky, wild. You don't even know. You don't even know. And then the Cavaliers are falling apart, so LeBron

will probably leave them after this year. People are speculating he wants to go to LA. Wowee. Over in hockey, Tampa Bay is number one in the one conference and las vegas is number one in the other conference uh which is kind of crazy the two places where nobody really cares about hockey uh are the two best hockey teams wow there you go meanwhile buffalo in last place and uh you got

vancouver down there edmontmonton, Ottawa, Montreal, all the Canadian places really, really, really bad. And then baseball is going to be starting up again soon. We got spring training right around the corner. I wish one day I could be excited about baseball. God, it's just fun to go to a game and sit there like hang out and talk and like drink and okay a thing just happened that's nice like watching on tv is like so boring to me i don't know why well yeah it depends on if you like the team or if you know like who's playing if you're

looking for like otherwise it is pretty much just background noise but it's pretty good background noise so i mean that's gonna be starting up soon and then the olympics start in like one week Otherwise, it is pretty much just background noise. But it's pretty good background noise. So, I mean, that's going to be starting up soon. And then the Olympics start in like one week. I think less than a week. I know. How insane is that? I know. I like the Winter Olympics a little more than the Summer Olympics.

I think they got more fun activities. Like they got snowboarding. You got the luge where they like sit back and they're like, I'm going a miles an hour i might die and shit like that and they got curling who doesn't love a good curling uh you know curling is my favorite sport americans don't know anything about yeah i agree not many america like you know about it because you live right next to the border but like most americans if you said yeah curling they they wouldn't assume maybe curling irons yeah it's definitely to be something i watch i'm gonna record it replay it non-stop they sweep the ice they sweep ice if you're wondering what curling is you slowly move a giant thing puck weight that thing yeah across ice

while a bunch of people frantically like clean the ice in front of it it is insane it is the best sport uh and it's uh yeah it's great and then there's uh they got ice skating they got figure skating they got the what's that one with sean white or wait that's snowboarding i said snowboarding already skiing skiing is pretty exciting it's just like so many fun things and then in the summer one it's like they got they got like racing swimming it just, it's like, it's not as exciting as the Winter Olympics. I like Winter Olympics. Yeah. And sports.

Oh, my goodness. Let's get to our big new story of the day. Irish woman legally marries a 300-year-old pirate ghost. I did not expect that to go the way it did okay yeah here it is I married a ghost pirate the curious story of Amanda Teague and her 300 year old dead lover a man

question this needs to be asked is this the ghost of a pirate or a ghost who has become a pirate? I think we're going to find out. Okay. All right. On July 23rd, 2016, Amanda Teague, 45, married her Haitian husband, Jack Teague, on a small boat in the Atlantic Ocean.

The weather was stormy and waves rocked the vessel violently. The divorced mother of four, who worked as a Jack Sparrow impersonator in Ireland said, I do. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. She was a Jack Sparrow impersonator? Apparently. Man, I... Everyone is a Jack Sparrow impersonator.

Everywhere I go in LA, there's always like five of them. Just like crowded around like vultures waiting for tourist money. Not another one. Ah, that's the last thing we need. Okay. Teague made headlines last week after she broke news that she married the ghost of a 300-year-old pirate. She claims their spiritual relationship began in 2015 when she was lying in bed at home in Drogada, Ireland, and sensed his

presence. Yo, go on. After six months of continued contact with the ghost of the deceased freebooter, she developed feelings for him, and the two made plans to officiate their love for each other. Pardon? The two made plans? The ghost and her made plans?

Apparently. The pirate ghost. The pirate ghost, yes. Now, question. Do you think the pirate ghost fell in love with Jack Sparrow and not her? Is this like when Lois falls in love with Superman instead of Clark? It's,

I think it's quite possible. I just, I feel like, feel like like pretend the pirate doesn't understand costumes i don't think i feel like the part goes to be like ah you truly are a sexy pirate and she'd be like i'm i'm jack sparrow however the hell you do jack's voice i'm jack sparrow do a Jack Sparrow voice. I'm Jack Sparrow. I'm Jack Sparrow. Yeah. However you do a Jack Sparrow voice. That sounds more like the L.A. Jack Sparrow. Jack Sparrow,

have you been drinking again at noon? No. I drink every hour of the day. Why is all the rum gone oh my god it gets better similar to most normal relationships the couple act out when jealous have arguments about responsibility

go away to Dublin on weekends together for romantic getaways and even engage in love making this is not a real thing this is a crazy woman why is this an article he describes their chemistry is quote incredible and says the jack is quote the best sex she's ever had this is not

how many kids she have have they ever be the children of the children like mom please stop this is embarrassing for everyone i don't this is not hold on rewind go over everything that that they say that they do together okay they uh act out when jealous wrong that doesn't happen she might act out when the dead not at all real ghost is like what flirting with someone else yeah how does that happen how does that happen i don't know okay have arguments about responsibility they can't it's not a real thing um go away to dublin on weekends together for romantic getaways fake news news. It's not real.

That is not real. This is the definition of fake news. This is not a real article. This can't happen because she's just a crazy person. And engage in lovemaking. That I believe. I believe ghosts are down. Ghosts are DTF.

They got nothing else going on. Yeah, they got nothing else going on. That's poltergeist activity. All right. I believe that. All right. Well, she confirmed that their wedding was similar to one at a registry office in the sense that it was short, small, and functional.

The couple held another wedding in October 2017, which involved a more comprehensive group of family and friends to better celebrate their union. Oh, God. I can't imagine. If anyone that I know was like, hey, I'm going to marry the 300-year-old spirit of a pirate. Would you please come to my wedding? I don't know if I would immediately laugh in their face

or go just to see what the hell it would be. I would go just to see. No doubt. Just like being there like, he said kiss the bride, but are they, is she just kissing the air? What's happening right now?

Do you think she actually thinks there's a ghost there? Oh, I'd be just side commentating the whole thing. Do you think she actually thinks this is real? That would be the best wedding ever. I guess. I mean, sure, okay. They said, we sailed into international

waters so we could legally marry it's not legal in the uk or ireland to marry a deceased person so we spoke to some lawyers and did it officially she says she is the first person in the uk and ireland to legally marry a ghost despite admitting that as it stands the law does not express recognized marriage to a deceased person, Teague explains that she followed proper procedures instructed to her by lawyers to bypass the rules. A registrar was present at the wedding who registered their marriage. Jack Teague gave consent through a medium that was independent of her and Amanda, even changed her last name to his honor. Right.

And she changed her last name to honor their... So she's a Teague now. Right. I haven't been challenged yet, Teague said. There was one government agent who asked me to explain my situation. I told him about spirituality and their connection. He just accepted that. More like he laughed and was

like, shit. Alright. I know. I know that guy was just like are you sure yeah lady whatever click whatever if in the future I am challenged legal advisors have told me that there are certain routes we could go down to try and get our marriage recognized by law I am willing to do it and fight for

our right to be married she added Shlomit Glazer a family lawyer at Glazer Jones Law told Newsweek that marrying a ghost and marrying a dead person are two different things, but neither are legally recognized. It's not illegal, it's not a criminal act, and you are not committing an offense, but the government doesn't recognize it. They won't be allowed the benefits of a married couple. I just... what? What? Who hurt- I wanna like grab her and be like who hurt you oh my okay ghost relationships and marriages are not uncommon last december cornwall live reported the stories of two women who were deep in the throes of paranormal passion amethyst realm that's their name. God damn it. A 27-year-old spiritual guidance counselor from Bristol, UK, told the local paper about her...

What's the matter with you, UK? She told the local paper... Hold on, what was this? Amethyst Realm? Amethyst Realm. I'm looking this person up. They told the local paper about her sexual ectoplasmic encounters with 20 different ghosts looking at her and looking at this woman who like i don't if you saw them out in public you wouldn't expect anything right they seem very normal like normal attractive women i here's my

only my only thoughts on this is that you never hear, are there any men who are out there banging ghosts? And I feel like the answer is going to be no. And I'm going to let you know why. Okay. Because women ghosts have better things to do than try to sleep with guys. Meanwhile, guy ghosts are like, ladies, I'm ectoplasmic. Right? I feel like guy ghosts would, of course, Guy Ghost would try to sleep with women.

So I typed it in, and most of them are like the articles we read, but there's one story that says, My sex with ghost lover. Man reveals how to romp with unearthly spirits. Okay. He said, before I encountered my spiritual love, Nalani, I had no sexual experience and wasn't what you would call a ladies' man. Being average looking and pretty shy, women hardly ever considered me as a partner. This all changed when I became aware of Nalani and started enjoying nights of pleasure beyond what any movie or book can even experience or describe. I'm not...

Oof. Oof. Okay, yeah. He's not talking about the five minute drunk hump most people are experiencing i mean hours of endless explosive pleasure that runs through your whole body he said the first time he contacted the sex spirits he was terrified He was terrified. Whoa! Whoa!

All right, here's the thing. I'm in. How do I contact the sex spirits? There are sex spirits? That's what he said. He added, I heard a soft whisper in my ear saying very faintly, Hi.

As if from a distance, yet still close. That scared the living heck out of me and made me jump out of my bed. Needless to say, I didn't sleep at all that night. After all, I had just had my first experience of summoning a succubus. It took me by such a surprise that I jumped in panic out of bed and shot out of the house. What? He summoned a succubus?

That's what he says. Okay, sure, yeah. He made it his mission to experience this again, and he now has regular intercourse with her so how do you summon one for yourself he offers seven free lessons and he says it takes one to two months of practice to make the method work there are some simple tips you can do to try this out yourself uh he adds sit in a private room where you feel comfortable and will not be disturbed close your eyes. Clear your mind.

Visualize for 10 minutes the way you think your succubus will look when you open your eyes. Once you finish, let the image go and clear your mind. Say to yourself, When I open my eyes, I will see you, my succubus love. Repeat this affirmation until you sense a presence. When you feel comfortable, hastily open your eyes without focusing anywhere. The more you practice this technique, the clearer the image of the spirit becomes.

Maybe we'll stay focused on the real world for now, however. Okay. So, apparently, you're absolutely... This is a thing that, like, a lot of people are trying to do. In fact, there's a BuzzFeed article about this. What? These two women attempted to have sex with a ghost, and they wrote everything down and, like, filmed everything and set up a whole thing. I just, okay, from the top.

Oh, my God. How to seduce a ghost. The guidelines. Okay. Know that it is real. Take it seriously. guidelines. Okay. Know that it is real.

Take it seriously. Be as goofy as you want. Have tons of fun. But know that you are really inviting a real spirit from beyond in. And that you are opening a real portal into other realms. Two. Know your belief system. God. Angels.

Your guides. Your higher self. Your cat. it doesn't matter. Three. Don't get scared. Fear will do negative things. Fear will prevent it from happening altogether. Fear will bring the wrong kind of energy, a darker energy that will feed off of your fear. Four.

Know that this is our realm of existence. They have to play by our rules. They have the power by our rules. They have the power over you only if you let them. Five, have fun. Have fun. Sounds like a speech you give to someone about to go play a sports. Don't forget to have fun out there. All right, guys.

Let's just have some fun. The steps. Here are the steps. Let's have some fun. The steps. Here are the steps. One, be in a great personal space. Clean, happy, good mood. Be in your good senses. Sure. Two, prepare your space.

Candles, incense, mood lighting, sexy music. Don't burn sage. That'll keep spirits away. Three, define your space and set its boundaries, i.e. bedroom only. Four, you know what? I'm going to be real. If I'm going to bang a ghost, I don't want it in the bedroom. I want to get freaky with that ghost.

Let's rest the house open for business, ghost. Why don't they like sage? Call me. I'm not going to burn sage. I'll burn like some sweet ganj up in there and be like, hey ghost, come get I would be brother. Why don't they like sage? I don't know.

I don't know the rules of ghosts and sage. Is it like garlic and vampires or something? That's exactly right. Probably. Protect your space, whatever way works for you and your belief system. Start doing some slow, deep breathing. Begin visualizing your ghostly lover. What it, he, she feels like asks.

Ask the universe or whomever to send you a ghostly lover. Be very clear that you want to be positive, good, loving, and light. As well as hot, of course. Softly add a chant to your deep breathing. Something like Come to me loving spirits Seven Believe

Eight Hopefully you'll start feeling sensations You may hear something Smell something Notice orbs of light or shadow Hopefully the physical sensations are coming Uh huh Right yeah Nine Throughout your encounter communicate with the spirit The physical sensations are coming. Uh-huh. Right, yeah.

Nine. Throughout your encounter, communicate with the spirit. Make sure there's mutual respect, and that is nothing, nothing is done to you or allowed to happen to you that you're uncomfortable with. Ten. When it's over, thank the spirit. And close the veil or portal that you opened. Oh, you don't want spirits to show up whenever like,

hey, baby, we're going to bang the night. Like, no spirit. Not tonight. I have work in the morning. Tomorrow. So, yeah, these two girls did this, and they posted photos of themselves, and it just looks ridiculous.

And they tried to visualize the ghost. This one girl said, I picture Jon Snow. They tried to visualize the ghost. This one girl said, I picture Jon Snow. They tried chanting. And then down here it says, the sex. This girl Katie wrote, good news for my parents if they're reading this. I did not have sex with any ghosts. Not even close. Not even first base.

I felt nothing. Saw nothing. Heard nothing. Complete rejection. Ariana said, no sex. Well, okay. No recognizable sex. My said, no sex. Well, okay. No recognizable sex. My hand got tingly.

Someone suggested that that's like I got some hand action with a ghost, but that's about it. And yeah, they basically just felt like nothing happened. And they're like, will we try it again? Sure. So yeah, there you go. But you know what, Crandor? Sure. So yeah, there you go.

But you know what, Crandor? What if like right now we tried to chant and bring some sexy ghosts to the listeners? All right. And all we got to do is just do these simple steps. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay.

All right. My room is very, you know what? The office is a mess, but that's how I like it. Yeah. I feel like any ghosts who would be here would like it. I have an anime mouse pad with two giant boobs on my desk. So I'm going to grab one of those boobs right now. All right. And I'm going to visualize some sort of sexy anime succubus.

All right. Right? And I just got to like, I just really. Home. Where is that boobies? Home. Home. Nothing.

Oh, did you get something? I think I felt, I felt my hand. You felt your own hand? Yeah. Is your spirit lover yourself? Actually, that might just be arthritis. Ah, all right. Well, good to know.

Good to know. Yeah. All right. Well, that's it, everybody. Thank you so much for listening. Please go on iTunes or wherever you're listening to this or watching it if you're on youtube and give us an old thumbs up leave a review give us 50 out of five stars do whatever you gotta do thumbs up leave your comments leave your reviews soundcloud itunes youtube check it

all out youtube.com slash cox and credor podcast youtube.com slash cox and credor that's where the animations are soundcloud.com slash cox and credoror. That's where the animations are. Soundcloud.com slash Cox and Crenndor. iTunes. Search Cox and Crenndor. Whole bunch of Cox and Crenndor. Tell your friends. Tell your friends. Tell your mom.

Tell everyone. Tell your dad. Tell your brother. Tell your sister. Tell your dog. Tell your cat. Tell your... And tell MeUndies.

Go to at MeUndies and say like, they were right. Your underwear's the best. You should give them a million dollars. Say those exact words. Do it. Be like, wow, I love MeUndies..com slash crendor and uh that's it so as always to be continued