Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 150 - 500 Foons

Episode Date: April 4, 2018

The boys are back to discuss the important issues of our time. Why is Cheeitus and how can it affect you? Why does Crendor need so many electrolytes? Why can't Jesse buy little baby loaves of bread?! Are we even real?! All this, and a bowl of 'sketti on this brand new Cox n' Crendor! Thanks to Hims for sponsoring this episode. To start your month trial for just $5 visit http://forhims.com/coxED Thanks to MeUndies for sponsoring this episode. Get 20% off your first pair at http://meundies.com/crendor

Today's episode is brought to you by 4Hems.com. We have an update. I got my stuff in the mail. I've been using it for a few weeks now. We have an update. We have an update. Do I have long, golden, flowing hair? It's possible.

I want to know. It's possible. To find out what I'm talking about, to find out what Crendor's up to, go to 4Hems.com. This episode is also sponsored by MeUndies. MeUndies are the undies on our bodies. I tried to make something clever and I failed. I failed. Yeah, I know.

My brain was struggling. My undies are MeUndies and I am wearing them right now. Yeah, and you won't have to struggle to wear MeUndies because they're so comfortable that they'll just slide right on your body and they won't slide off. You get right into them. They're perfect. They're perfect. That's a good slide.

Thank you. Now let's jump into the show. Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios.

Recording! Wake your ass up! It's Cox and Crendor in the morning! Cox and Crendor in the morning! Hello everybody, it's time for another episode of Cox and Crandor. Yep, I'm going to just sit here and drink this cappuccino and just be quiet. It's the time of the episode of the Crandor Cox Show. Here we go.

I don't know what's been going on with me lately. I cannot talk anymore. I speak talk anymore. When did it start? I speak gibberish. Yeah, that's not good. When did it start? Did it start like a few days ago? I think it's always been this way, but recently I've been working a lot,

and I think I've just overloaded myself. And now, rather than communicate properly, I just, uh, gabity goopadoo. And everything's fine. The gabity goopadoo's fully overtaking your body. So you'll just be talking, and you're like, it's time for a guy's goopity goopadoo. Yeah, you know, I think I've gotten to the point where I feel like, much like sending a text. If you can't figure out what I'm like, much like sending a text. Right. If you can't figure out what I'm saying, then that's your problem, not mine.

Yeah. It's only downhill from here. Yeah, if you can't figure out what I'm saying, that's your problem, not my problem. I don't care. Yeah. I like that. I like that. That's like some guy, he figured out all my pasta la pizza,

Mamma Mia, pasta brazules, and he's like, I've calculated that each one represents a different emotion of how you're feeling at that moment. And he was right. Yeah, okay, talk to me. What is what? Mamma Mia was like, oh my God. And then pasta la pizza is like, like hey that's pretty good and then uh the a recent one i've been saying is a slam dunk fiesta that's like really good that's like wow this is great and then pasta

brazil is like oh shit a slam dunk fiesta sounds like a a slam dunk fiesta. It sounds like a terrible fiesta. It does not sound like a fun fiesta. A slam dunk fiesta? A fiesta of slam dunks? A slam dunk party? Would you not want to go to a slam dunk party? No! It's just like, I imagine it's four driveway basketball hoops all pointed at each other,

and kids just slam it like crazy. That doesn't sound fun that sounds stressful um well yes it depends on your type of fun i you know what you're right i guess you're right i just think it sounds stressful i wouldn't want to be there. Instead, what about like a comforter fiesta? Or like a weighted down pillow fiesta? What? You know, like something a little more relaxing. Like a soothing lavender candle fiesta. I mean, I'd be down for that.

What about a bath bomb fiesta? Now that's something I'd be into. I like bath bombs. I like bath bomb fiestas, I guess then. Even though I've never partaken in a bath bomb fiesta. What is the... I hope it's as dirty as my mind is taking me. What is the definition of a fiesta?

Is it just a party? Is it just a party? A fiesta is a Spanish word for festival or party an event marked by festivities or celebration all right so it's a fiesta i just i think we as americans have been duped into associating fiesta with food yeah because. Because it's always like, come eat our five-star fajita fiesta. Grande fiesta. And you're like, oh, okay, well, it's a party, but it's a party where you're eating food. And I guess it doesn't have to be.

Yeah. Although now we're going to get a message from a Mexican grandmother that's like, what kind of party is it if it doesn't have food? And she'd be right. She'd be right. The green cheetah. The green cheetah's going to message me like, I love a doodle-a-ka-boodle.

Oh my God, you're becoming the green cheetah. Am I? Oh no. Can I propose a theory? All right. What if the green cheetah is me from the future? Oh, shit. Trying to stop me from becoming the green cheetah. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. It makes perfect sense. Yeah. Think about it. I discovered time travel and came back to prevent myself from becoming what I become. Think about it. The gum on your car, that was your gum. Yeah.

That is the green cheetah putting your gum on the car. That's why I can't ever find the green cheetah unless she shows up. Yeah. Like, I don't know where she lives. She just appears. And she probably put the gum on my car to keep me searching. Because, you know, like, you got to keep your mind working. Yeah.

Or else you'll, like, lose it, right? Yeah. So she was, like, he'll spend his. Also, I become an old lady in the future. Yeah. This is just in the future. Yeah. This is just how it works. Yeah, that's how it is. She put the gum there so I would have to Sherlock who did it and keep my mind busy.

Thus staving off green cheitis. I hate green cheitis. Cheitis is bad, but green cheitis is way worse. That's way worse. You don't want green chiitis. You don't want that. Green chiitis is terrible. And she, like, put her groceries down on the thing, too, and walk away and just left them or something.

Yeah, she put her groceries on a car and then got in another. If I remember the story correctly, go back. It's in a previous episode. I believe she put her groceries on one car and then got in another. If I remember the story correctly, go back. It's in a previous episode. I believe she put her groceries on one car and then got in another car and drove away. Damn. But like left her groceries on a car? Interesting.

That sounds like something I would do. That does like, yeah. That sounds like something I would, I've left a few coffee cups on the top of my car in my day. Yeah. I think we're onto something here. I agree. I think we're really starting to make some headway on this

whole green cheetah thing. And we nailed it. I'm gonna just... I'm drinking Gatorade, Thirst Quench, or Lemon Lime. Why do you need your Thirst Quenched? I'm thirsty. Yeah, but why Gatorade? Do you need the electrolytes?

What have you been doing? I mean, I just like electrolytes. I like potassium. I like potassium. You like? I just like electrolytes has never been said by anyone on planet Earth ever. There's got to be somebody. No one has ever said, I just like electrolytes.

What about electrolyte water. I guarantee some woman has been like, I don't like electrolytes. I guess smart water, but I don't think, no, I can imagine someone being like, I just like the way it tastes, or I like them trying to be, no one has ever specifically said, I just like electrolytes. I refuse to believe that. What is an electrolyte? Are we looking this up? Electrolytes. I refuse to believe that. What is an electrolyte? Are we looking this up? Electrolyte. Electrolyte. Electrolyte.

A liquid or gel that contains ions and can be decomposed by electrosis, e.g. that present in a battery. What? Uh-huh. This one says a substance that dissociates into ions in solution acquires the capacity to conduct electricity. Sodium, potassium, chloride, calcium, magnesium, and phosphate are examples of electrolytes informally known as lights. I don't – So there's minerals. Yeah, sure.

But like what is – why do you want them? Why do they keep being sold on electrolytes? Yeah, like – Oh, it says electrolytes are vital for normal function of the human body. Fruits and vegetables are good sources of electrolytes. But I imagine if you worked out a bunch of whatever, eating a ton of fruit isn't what they want. So it's like drink this instead. Yeah.

Oh, that makes sense. I guess that's what they're so it's like drink this instead yeah oh that makes i guess that's what they're trying to say what are symptoms of electrolyte imbalance okay here we go okay a regular heartbeat fast heart rate fatigue lethargy wait time out yeah both ends of the spectrum what having a fast heart rate being being like all worked up, or fatigue. Or lethargy. Or just being like lethargic. Like, I don't want to. Yeah.

I guess it can go both ways because it's your body's way of being like, I don't got enough of this thing. Interesting. What are five essential electrolytes? Sodium. Salt is number one. Gotta have salt. Love me some sodium. Tell you what, boy. Sodium. Salt is number one. Gotta have salt. Love me some sodium. Tell you what, boy.

That N.A. I've been drinking sodium my whole life. What can I do to increase my electrolytes? Coconut water, number one. Pass. Hard pass. Gatorade. I hate coconut water.

I don't mind coconut water, but I don't actively want to drink it. Oh, it is not a pleasant taste. Celery. Okay, great. Celery is easy. Watermelon, all right. Interesting. Cucumber.

I like those. I like cucumber. Yeah. Kiwi, bell peppers, citrus fruits, and carrots. All those are great. Coconut water is the devil, but everything else is great. And what about Gatorade? It does not list Gatorade. What about G is great. What about Gatorade? It does not list Gatorade.

What about Gatorade? What about Gatorade? Which fruit have the most electrolytes? Apples, corn, beets, carrots, and green beans are all rich electrolytes. Oh, I had an apple today. Limes, lemons, oranges, sweet potatoes, and artichokes, as well as squash and tomatoes are also very good. For best results, choose fruits and vegetables that are organic and, if possible, local to your community.

I feel like that was added at the end there for a little poke. Like, meh, don't buy from the main place. Go to Whole Foods. Yeah, I think that's what that is. Go to Whole Foods. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's what that is. Wait.

Electrolytes commonly found in fruit juices, sports drinks, milk, nuts, and many fruits and vegetables, etc. So basically electrolytes are in everything because salt and stuff and potassium and things like that. And it says in oral rehydration therapy, electrolyte drinks containing sodium and potassium salts replenish the body's water and electrolyte concentrations after dehydration caused by exercise, excessive alcohol consumption, heavy sweating, diarrhea, vomiting, intoxication, or starvation. Here's something. Right. Sports drinks like Gatorade and Powerade have fluid and carbs along with sodium potassium. One cup of OJ has 12% your daily recommendation of potassium as well as vitamin C, which they're saying here is better than a Gatorade. However, I defy anyone to go work out and then decide to drink orange juice afterwards.

Yeah, I know. Please, go do that. Let me know how that works out. You'll be like, oh, God. That's like asking someone to brush their teeth and then drink orange juice. Yeah, it's awful. There's a lot of things. You might as well just die. There's a lot of things that taste really bad after brushing your teeth.

Yeah. A lot of things. You'd be surprised. Just try it. Brush your teeth, then eat something or drink something. Oh, don't. You know what? There is, yeah, there's way too much.

I think the whole point is you're not supposed to after you brush your teeth. But because it's in the morning, if I brush my teeth and then I'll be like, well, I guess I'll have breakfast on my way out the door. When I really, in reality, should probably eat, then brush my teeth, question mark. But whatever. I'm just like, why did I eat this? Oh, it tastes terrible now. Yeah. Why does that happen?

Why does it taste bad after brushing your teeth? But other things don't make it taste bad. What if I looked that up? What if I looked that up? Why does food taste? First thing that pops up. Instead of bad, it says, why does food taste better when high? That's the first thing that pops up. Instead of bad, it says, why does food taste better when high? That's the first thing that pops up.

Why does food taste bad when or after? After brushing teeth. That does appear. Yes. This is like a. Interesting. This has become like a Facebook science podcast thing. Yeah, but this is important.

This is important. I mean, I like it. I'm just saying this is what we've become, but I don't mind it. So I guess there is fatty molecules that inhibit receptors for bitterness and keep bitter taste from overwhelming us. So when we brush our teeth, we break those Molecules for the little bit that that Like because it's like a coating around Our tongue yeah and so we break that Down we brush our teeth and so if you

Eat immediately after especially like Orange juice for example all the Bitterness and all that crap is Magnified and so we taste it without the Coating on our mouth oh And so we taste it without the coating on our mouth. Oh. And so we're picking up things like acidic foods. We taste the bitterness. So is this one of those things where this is like how it actually tastes,

but our bodies make it taste better than it does? Maybe. Also, according to the ADA, acidic foods and drinks like orange juice weaken your tooth enamel, and brushing shortly thereafter can result in some of that enamel being removed. So if you brush after drinking OJ, it's actually worse because you're removing the enamel on your teeth. Oh, shit. Now I've got a lot of that left. What the ding- Doodly doo Interesting so yeah maybe that is what it's supposed to taste like

It's But we have our body produces stuff To protect us from The terrible taste of like acidic stuff Isn't that something with like light As well like our eyes Make it so everything's not as bright Like if we didn't have the filters, everything would be super bright.

I heard that somewhere. Yeah, and also, we, like, the eyes send signals to the brain because it's all about, like, light bouncing off of things. So the stuff we see is because light bounces off of it into our eyes. And so our eyes sort of like determine what stuff looks like and our brain puts it all together. So that's one of those philosophical things like are we

really looking at what we're looking at? Yeah. Is that really what a computer monitor or microphone looks like? Damn. I know. I know. You know what? We're bringing Some really important questions to the forefront Here this is probably our most informative

Podcast we've ever done I wouldn't say so Over 150 episodes Normally we're like Why's the McRib tasted Bad That's a good question though Why does the McRib taste bad

Cause they Cause it's not even a rib did we find out it contains some of the products that are in yoga mats yeah in a McRib then I also read some other places that a lot of things taste like contain that type of stuff then it's just like a it's like an agent for uh tying shit together in the food or something it like doesn't really affect like it's one of those doesn't really affect it. It's one of those things. It's like a binding agent? Yeah. It's one of those things where it's in a lot more than that,

but people just saw it and they're like, yoga mat, ew. Yeah, but I feel like maybe that's not a good thing. Maybe if you have to bind food to make something edible, maybe it's not actually food. That's not true. I ate it. It's all right.

Screw me. You're right. You got me. Nailed it. I got to learn this, too. Yoga mat food. Yoga mat food? Yoga mat food.

Azobicarbidabandine. Yeah. No, that sounds. Almost 500 foods contained. Azobicarbidabandine. Yeah, no, that sounds... Almost 500 foods contained azobicarbidabandine. Almost 500 foods! Almost 500 foods! Almost 500 foods contained azobicarbidabandine.

Ranging from Pillsbury dinner rolls to Little Debbie products like Wonder Bread. It reminds me of like a scene from Star Wars where they're like, almost 500 foons died to give us information. Let's see. I'm now trying to picture what a foon would look like Foons You know what a foon is

You saw Rogue One right You know the little tiny guy With the giant mouth and the big teeth That's a foon There's a little tiny guy Go watch that movie again There's a little tiny dude with a rocket launcher And he's the shortest guy on the team

I don't know what he's really called But that guy's now a foon Rogue One Rocket Man Oh that guy That guy's a foon That little dude look at him I don't know who that guy is But he is a foon

That's a foon right there I agree By the way I've looked up as a bicarb mate nine facts it's an industrial chemical yes yes it is it increases the irritability of gluten it can cause respiratory problems it is a skin irritant it disrupts the immune system it creates toxic byproducts when heated it is harmful to hormone function europe and australia have banned it subway is not the only violator of it and it yeah so it tastes delicious huh you want more of that in you huh i didn't say that i was just saying you know i've eaten it and i'm still here i just feel like the more i read about stuff like this and the more I – the other day I was at the grocery store and I went and I got like a bunch of like frozen meals because I was like, well, I'm going to be trying to bring stuff to the office and trying to like eat healthy and all that.

And then I just looked at it and was like, all this is words that are just like fruit of Glucamex. Yeah. I don't think I've eaten frozen, like, heatable meals in years. Like, phosphorus bisphenate. I'm like, what the hell is... These are all spells in Harry Potter. And so, and then I walked by the meat aisle and was like, what if I just... When I get back from PAX, what if I just start buying only things Like a piece of chicken

Or a bunch of chicken Like not Frozen foods or not like I don't know I don't know I'm about to become like one of those cavemen You know You know what are the cavemen

Like the paleo people Yeah one of them. Where they're like, eat the meat and the nuts of the earth. Yeah, I mean. I might do that. It's a good idea. I think it's more about, like, with paleo thing, they're like, they eat the, they gotta eat meat. It's more just like, eat things that are just, you know, one in a couple ingredients.

Why can't I have like paleo plus a loaf of bread made at a store? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I've been buying bread where it's like locally made and it's got like 10 ingredients in it. Yeah, like a bakery. Yeah, yeah, like bakery bread. I don't want to make my own bread because that's a time commitment I don't have. You pay like an extra dollar. That is like a relationship.

Yeah. I pay for locally made bread. The problem that I have is because bread that comes in packages and whatnot, especially American bread, is meant to last a little bit longer. Bread that you buy at a bakery, that starts to go bad almost instantly. And so you have to use it a lot. And there's some times where I'm like, I don't want to eat this bread today. And that's the problem with being a dude by himself, like the Bachelor life. I can only eat so much, and then it's just going to go bad.

Yeah. There's got to be, like, mini loaves. There's got to be a mini loaf. Can someone open a bakery called Bachelor Loaf? Bachelor Loaf. And it's just little tiny single serving breads. Like a little pumpernickel bread. Like, come on.

And this isn't just for bachelors. This is bachelorettes too. Yeah. This is just single serving. That's all they have. Now that would sell. That would sell. That would sell a lot.

Well, they have stuff like that in Europe. Overseas they have tons of little bakeries that sell little things. In the States, it's like, you got to buy your whole giant loaf or nothing. Yeah. Like, buy your Wonder Bread. One dollar. All right? It's a dollar.

You can only eat half of it, but it was a dollar. You know, speaking of Wonder Bread, it's not Wonder Bread, but it's like something similar. And it scares me because every time I see it, I'm like, something's up with this. What? Those ultra low- low calorie breads. I don't trust anything like that. The breads that are like, these two pieces of bread equal 100 calories. And you're like, that is not, that can't be real.

Yeah. I don't trust any of those things. What did you do to this to make this terrible? That's like anything. They're like, this has no sugar. This has no fat. This has no calories. And I'm like, something's wrong here.

Yeah. It's compensating for something else. It's just going to affect you in some other way. So I'm like, no, no, no. Like I heard things with no fat, they just pump it full of sugar. It's all about corporate perceptions of like what people want to buy. And so it's like, well, if it's's fat free then we have to make it taste good so we're gonna put other stuff in it to make it taste good yeah that's uh you get all those damn chemicals in your body it's like

the all-natural they market like all natural but that doesn't mean anything but everybody knows like my dad will be like they got this food said it was all natural i'm like that doesn't mean anything he's like i don't know said it was all natural. I'm like, that doesn't mean anything. He's like, I don't know, said it was. And I'm like, yeah, but a lot of things are natural. They're not good, you know? Speaking, I'm going to make this happen, Crandor. Share with me. So speaking of health and taking care of yourself, I have a four hymns update.

I feel like we'll jump on this really quickly since we're on the topic of self-care. All right. It's a terrible transition, but I'm making it on this really quickly since we're on the topic of self-care. All right. It's a terrible transition, but I'm making it. It's happening. We're on the path. I got some stuff shipped to me. I got three things. And I was like, I'm going to try it all.

One, a vitamin. It was just like a vitamin supplement, like a normal vitamin. Two was a hair growth pill. And three was some like shampoo You put in your hair That's supposed to like Lessen hair loss And make your hair fuller

I figured I'd try to use it all And So what happened was I went to the website And I logged in And got the It was basically five dollars for shipping And they sent me a thing to test it. And a doctor came on and was, like, talking to me.

He was like, can you send me photos of your head? And I was like, what? So I, like, literally took photos of my head and sent it to a doctor. Shit, dude. And he was like, yeah, all right, you're cool. And then it was sent to me, and I think, I don't know, maybe 14 days in, however many days I am in. And I'm taking these vitamins, and the vitamins taste like vitamins.

And there's a little tiny baby pill, and you take one of those. And I was like, all right. And then I wash my hair with a shampoo. And we'll see what happens. I mean, I'm not like, nothing bad is happening. I imagine this is one of those things that you just have to keep doing it kind of deals. I think, if anything, it's more preventative than like, I'm going to grow hair. Yeah.

But I'm okay with that. So I'm sure we'll have more updates and we'll see what's going on. You could be Hercules next time. Yeah. In a month or two, I could be an Adonis. It's possible. Who knows? Who knows?

I'm excited to see that. Yeah. But, yeah. But, 4Hims does other things as well. They have many regimens you can go on if you check out their website. One of them, gentlemen, this is for gentlemen, is about ED. And

I know it's a touchy subject. A lot of people are like, I don't want to talk about it. Oh, geez. But this is a place that you can go to because it's a touchy subject. A lot of people are like, I don't want to talk about it. Oh, geez. But this is a place that you can go to because it's online. You don't have to stare at a doctor face-to-face and be like, yeah, man, I'm having some trouble. It's true. A lot of people have performance issues, and 25% of them are under the age of 40.

Damn. If you're struggling, if you can't, if you feel like you're going to let your lady down or your fella, why turn to weird solutions and weird things to, to make it happen? Just actually go to a doc and be like, Hey,

help me out here. And, uh, that's, that's what for him is for. You can go there and with real doctors, with medical-grade solutions, you can fix this problem. And it's not snake oil or crazy stuff like that. It's basically a pill that has been on the market for a while, but it's the generic version of it.

It starts with a V. I'm not allowed legally to say what that V word is. But it came off patent in December, and now you can get generic versions of it. And so it's a legitimate real drug that works, and if this is something you need, fellas, jump on it. We have nothing to lose except time

with your loved one. Wink. There's no waiting room, no awkward doctor visits, no lines. Save yourself the trouble. Save yourself the time. And, for no awkward doctor visits, no lines. Save yourself the trouble. Save yourself the time. And, for a lot of people, the embarrassment of going on there and looking this stuff up and

discovering what you can do for yourself. So, try 4Hims for a month, two day, just $5. Get started for $5. While supplies last, please head over to forhims.com slash cox ed that's f-o-r-h-i-m-s.com slash cox c-o-x-e-d all right well thanks thanks for thanks for you know what credor thank you for being so serious for that hey no problem

make any jokes i'm not making jokes on that this is serious stuff yeah i'm just trying to help people get some that's all yeah i just want people to like be happy and uh uh get some loving yeah i hear you so i i feel like i've done i feel like i've done a great job today i'm proud of you and you know what when you're i'm gonna hang your paper on the I'm proud of you. And you know what? I'm going to hang your paper on the refrigerator. Thank you. Thank you.

It's better than what I was going to say. I was going to say, when you're with your loved one, remember me. But that's weird. My ED is cured. Thank you, Jesse. Thank you, Jesse. In fact, screw it. Do that. that i appreciate it from me to you uh so we have a few news updates should we save that for news or do you want to get to it right now because i feel like this is important uh since we're on the topic of sciencey stuff yeah there's one

sciencey topic we need to talk about yeah no doubt um that is flat earther earther earther flat earther flat earther finally launched himself to space on his homemade rocket here's how it went yeah all right so just an update for people who do not remember this story few episodes back a guy was going to launch himself in a homemade steam-powered rocket to determine if the world was indeed flat. He is a flat earther. He believes that the world is flat, and this was going to be his proof. Again, that's insane, but he was going to prove it to the world.

And then for some reason, he backed out of it. Well, turns out it was just weather issues or something, and he did it. I think they said the government was like, can't launch that rocket here. And he's like, I'll do what I want. And then he couldn't do it. There you go. All right. So what happened?

So Mad Mike Hughes, the world's only flat earth rocket man. That's right. His name was Mad Mike. Of course it was. Mad Mike finally blasted off on his well-publicized mission yesterday before crashing back down to reality, shaken but unharmed. Giving him due credit, the launch was remarkably smooth, especially considering that the rocket was made by Hughes himself for a very small price. On Saturday afternoon at around 3 p.m. local time, Mad Mike flew 570 meters up into the skies above the Mojave Desert of California in his green rocket, into the skies above the mojave desert of california in his green rocket branded with a giant research flat earth in all caps sticker uh and a u.s flag on the side his parachute successfully

sprung out as he reached its peak altitude and the rocket drifted back down to our globe 61 year old daredevil told the associated press that he felt fine after the launch although he had an achy back from the jolty launch and heavy landing. Footage shows Hughes just after he was removed from the rocket looking a little worse for wear, although alive and moving. Am I glad I did it? Hughes said, speaking to the AP. Yeah, I guess. I'll feel it in the morning. I won't be able to get out of bed.

At least I can go home and have dinner and see my cats tonight. Yep, that's exactly exactly what i imagined he would say as for his personal scientific voyage huge hughes is still not convinced that the earth is a sphere the launch was only supposed to be a publicity stunt for the flat earth movement it was not actually intended to verify the shape of the planet hughes claims and uh after all a few hundred meters high would not be high enough to see the curvature of the Earth. You need to be at least 10.7 kilometers high to directly observe that. That's why Hughes has even taller ambitions to eventually launch himself into space and settle his mind once and for all.

Do I believe the Earth is shaped like a frisbee? I believe it is, he said. Do I know for sure? No. That's why I want to go to space. For the curious among you. I just, before you continue. All right.

I just, do you think he ever has traveled on a plane or experienced time zones? Like, how does he explain those things more importantly wouldn't mathematics dictate that like when he launched his rocket wherever he landed was because the earth was curved and moving and i have so many i have so many you know what i don't think it matters math probably isn't his strong suit anyway continue sorry i had to work through that i was struggling i had to work through this entire thing the thing is like what's even the point like what if the earth was flat and he's like told you the earth's flat it's like all right cool like i don't know like it just isn't though yeah it's like isn't oh yeah how would time zones even work wouldn't it just be sunny

all the time everywhere also if the earth was was a disc and how would how would it move yeah well what about how would the sun be this is what about the other planets? Are they flat? That's what I'm saying. Is the sun flat? What's flat? What isn't flat? I just don't understand. I don't understand what... It's just wrong.

That's what makes me so mad. It's not like a crazy theory. It's just wrong. It's just incorrect. You would fail that science test. There's no like Well you know The science is still out on whether the earth is round or not No! Centuries ago

They were like it's round Yeah didn't they used to like Is that how they came up with all the Like the winter solstice and the summer solstice They'd like measure shadows and stuff Greek mathematical equations are based on the curvature of the earth yeah like it's just it's a thing it is a known quantity there is there are photos from space looking down the planet you literally would have to

in order to believe this you have to believe everything else is a lie yeah which to me is the biggest stretch of all yeah i just all just. All right. Anyway, sorry to go on a rant. What? How does this nonsense end for the curious among you here is few simple ways you can prove to yourself and others that the Earth is not flat without setting up your own space agency. launch was filmed by a noise tv documentary about hughes that was set for release later this year however he's posted on sunday march 25th that he has cut all ties with noise tv last week and uh but how does that prove to does the video show him like how does the video prove it uh i think that was just to show him like doing everything but then they link to an article talking about things you can do to see how the earth isn't flat oh what is it what can you do uh let's see one of the things is the simplest way cheapest way to show the earth is not flat is to look at the night sky at any given time certain stars and constellations will have a certain height on the horizon

depending on your relative position on the Earth, you won't be able to see some of them when others can. The classic example is that you can't see Polaris, the North Star, from the Southern Hemisphere. As you move anywhere on Earth in a north-south direction, you'd be able to see constellations moving up and or down in the sky, new stars appearing and old stars disappearing. There is no way for this effect to happen on a flat disk.

Or it's the devil. Or it's flat disc. Or it's the devil. Or it's the devil. Or it's the devil trying to trick mankind. Create an illusion. Like dinosaur bones. Dinosaur bones are tricks of the devil. Dude, there's a guy on that one show. He's on the Los Angeles Rams,

and he is just like, dinosaurs ain't real. And he's like, the dinosaur bones are planted there. And there he's like the dinosaur bones are planted there. And then he's like mermaids though. They're real. Now that makes sense. Yeah. One of those clearly

planted the other real. And it's mermaids that are real. Aren't mermaids just like people be out at sea for years and they just get drunk and like Not be able to tell Things from other things and be like The fish looks like a woman

I feel like a lot of people Try to associate mermaids With manatees Or other sea creatures And I just Sure I guess that could be possible But I just imagine it's as simple as like It's a fun story to tell

Yeah It's like a myth It's like mermaids And after a while people just tell it And I don't know why we have to associate it with like Yeah no they were looking at manatees Literally it could just be dudes out at sea being like Man I could sure use like a hot fish girl right now that's true

uh it could really just be that simple because i mean there's plenty other stories of like myths and stuff right yeah i don't know is there a c all right well c myths c myths c myths c myths uh yeah that's flat earth flat earth man Sea Myths Sea Myths Sea Myths Yeah that's Flat Earth Man Alright well Let's go to chapter 7 See it's happening again With Crandor the Sky

Crandor how's that traffic out there Hey I've seen a few cloud maids Up here it looks like Mermaid clouds I think clouds have adapted to the skies. And who knows? They may start taking over soon and singing their siren songs. I, for one, would be hooked on those siren songs.

Now, looking down at the traffic, pretty boring. Standard post-Easter traffic. Everyone's depressed. They've got to go back to work. Hey, you know, you do what you've got to do. You go out there. you grind it out. You know, you wait for the next day off, the next big weekend, and then you just do it over and over.

That's life, man. That's just life. Back to you. Thanks, Crenor. Now let's go over to the weather desk. How's that weather? Oh, it's weather time. I liked your jingle. I thought

it was great. Thank you. I thought it up on the fly. I can tell. Alright, let's activate Woppy for the weather. He is revived. Woppy activated. 5, 4, 2, 1, 5. Kellnersville.

Wisconsin. Oh, that was close. 32 degrees Fahrenheit. Tonight, snow. 28 degrees, 70% chance snow. Tuesday, 33 degrees, 100% chance snow. Tuesday night, 20 degrees Fahrenheit, 90% chance snow. Cloudy with snow showers becoming steady, accumulating snow later on.

Some sleep may mix in. Slow, 80 to 28. Slow. He made it. He made it through. He started breaking down again. Well, that's sort of his thing, but we work with him. That's true.

And you know what? Call it Cullendersville It's only like This looks like it's about 20 minutes south of Green Bay You go see a Packer game when it's snowing Or not snowing But it's probably snowing like 24-7 I forget what it's like to get bombarded with snow

Being in LA has Made me kind of like a snow baby I just don't remember If I saw snow again Being in L.A. has made me kind of like a snow baby. I just don't remember. If I saw snow again, I don't know how I'd react. I'd be like a child witnessing his first snowfall. Isn't the last time you saw snow when we were in Boston last year? The first time in a while. Oh, my God.

Yes, and I was like dying because it was freezing cold. Yeah. That was a good time. That was a fun blizzard time. I don't mind snow. I think snow's all right. It's if you got to drive in it that it's bad. I used to not mind snow, but it's been eight years.

No, seven years since I've actually lived in snow. I used to live in Buffalo, so I understand understand snow and i was fine with it i'd be one of those guys who's like in shorts out in the snow it wouldn't affect me now i am like oh god it's so good i am not i can't do it it's weakening now we're gonna get those people just like you think that's bad i get snow every day you're right blizzard every day i can't walk outside because my house door is blocked by snow it's like that's cool man i would i don't want to live where you live yeah i would people maybe shouldn't live there if that's if that's what it's like maybe only bears and possums should live there that sounds terrible

that's just it's like a big weather ego. That's what I call it. The weather ego. Someone's like, wow, it's hot outside today. It's like 100 degrees. They're like, you think that's bad? I live in the desert and I melt if I go outside. It's like, oh, that's crazy.

It really is. Everyone has to be like a little bit better than you. Yeah. Like, don't you get it, though? You don't understand. It's like the packs of the housewives that meet up in L.A. for brunch. And they're just like, my son, Roger, he's just trying to make it through school. And they're just like, you think that's bad?

My son has this problem. And they try to compare their problems to one another and try to one-up each other on their problems. I've seen that happen. I've been at places where I've watched that happen. Yeah. That is a common occurrence. Let me tell you. We had to settle for the $180 wine instead of the $200 wine because we left a $20 bill at home.

What? I don't know. I don't know that's Irving's. We don't believe in credit cards. Right. No, you're right. You're right. It's like when we were at that one place and the caviar machine only took cash

but the cheapest thing was $500. I was like, who would pay for this? Who's walking around with $500 to buy caviar? Why would you even buy it from a vending machine if you're rich? Right. Right. Couldn't you just go to like a caviar smith? Yeah.

Caviar smith. He hammers out the caviar. Make me your finest caviar. On it. King. King. King. King.

Wow. He's really working with that. There's a little apprentice just pulling fish guts apart. Here you go, mister. Oi. Oh, no, it's a crane for you. Oi. Cling.

Cling. There's a guy working the furnace. Like, damn, this is going to be some crazy caviar, man. If you went to get caviar and that's how they brought it to you, I'd be like, yo, this was worth it. Yeah, that would definitely be worth it. But that'd be worth the $500 to have a whole team create you caviar out of metal, question mark?

I don't know how we're making this. Get rid of the caviar vending machine, make a caviar smith um but that's weather all right and let's talk sports sports hey welcome to the sports desk we got some crazy sports stuff going on today tonight is is the NCAA basketball final. It's Villanova taking on Michigan. So that'll be interesting. Loyola Chicago is like the underdog Cinderella team, but they

didn't win against Michigan. Yeah, everyone was very excited about that, but what you gonna do? Yeah, so rip. Who do you think's gonna win? I think Villanova's gonna win because they're better But Okay

It'll be crazy It'll be crazy It's going to be crazy It's going to be a good game It's going to be crazy Okay Yep And then

And baseball Baseball started up So Get ready for the 162 game season We're three games in We're four games Hey The very first pitch

Or the very first game was a home run. It's true. By the Cubs. That's a good sign for the season. That's a good sign for the season. Good sign for the Cubs, except they lost today. It's another two and two. Alright, well not for the Cubs. But you know what? They started out mediocre last time. They just gotta get going. Rusty. Get everything rolling. They'll be fine.

And then the Brewers. Milwaukee. They're like three and one right now. I like Milwaukee, even though they're in our division They're like the wholesome, you know, the Brew Boys Yeah, the Brewers are always like the guys who You imagine are a little fatter And a little bit hairier than everyone else in the league It's true

And if you go to their stadium, it's filled with those people I'd imagine they're also like You know, they have names like Kip Kissman and Reggie Flounderbottom. You know, like classy names, like classy old-timey names. Let me check for you. You got Ryan Braun. That's a good one. Christian Yellick. Yep.

Lorenzo Cain. Yep. Eric Thames. There you go. These are all great names Christian Yellick. Yep. Lorenzo Cain. Yep. Eric Tames. There you go. These are all great names. Yep. Yeah, these are pretty good. Those are all great names.

Rick Hardbody. You know, he's on the team. Let's see. Rick. Rick Hard. Nope. No. He's one of the light trainers. Yeah, it's got it. There's an Eric Sogard. That's kind of like Rick Hard. Nope. No. He's one of the light trainers.

Yeah. It's got it. There's an Eric. So guard. That's kind of like Rick hard. Yeah. Eric. So guard is exactly like Rick hard body.

You nest. You Niseki Betancourt. That see all their names are fantastic. Brandon. Rough. What? Rough. Brandon.

Woodruff is the guy. That's the guy. Or Boone. Logan. Boone. Logan. Yeah. Their team is. I don't want to guy. Or Boone Logan. Boone Logan? Yeah. Their team is, I don't want to know. Don't tell me if I'm wrong, but I imagine they're all in their 40s, fat, and have lots of facial hair.

They do have a lot of facial hair. A lot of facial hair. Oh, I love the Brewers. They have a lot of facial hair. Yeah, you know what? Oh, I love the Brewers. They have a lot of facial hair. Hey, you know what?

In the Brewers games, it's always just whenever they play the Cubs, it's just Cubs fans that drive up to the Brewers stadium, and it's like 75% Cubs fans there. Oh, we're going to drive and go see the Brewers. No, that's actually the Scots. That's up in Scots. When you're in Chicago, you're like, go see the Brewers, eh? Oh, you're coming to see the Brewers. That's up in Scots. When you're in Chicago, you're like, go see the Brewers, eh? You see the Cubs here. Oh, you're coming to see the Brewers.

Oh, all right, then. Yeah. You see the Cubs. I see the Cubs. You don't watch the White Sox. You watch the Cubs. White Sox are doing all right, though, too. All right.

And then NBA, NHL, both closing out their seasons. We're about to hit the playoffs. I'm rooting for the Bulls to tank. Come on, Bulls, keep tanking. They're winning games with their third stringers. Very sad times. We need to tank so we get a good draft pick. Hopefully they rig the draft so that we get the top pick

because apparently the draft lottery is in Chicago, so that would be great. And then I was watching some golf yesterday. It was interesting. I think when I retire, I want to be a golf guy. You want to be a golf guy? Oh, a golf announcer. Give us your best golf announcer.

And here we go in the second hole. We got John Johnson coming up with a two iron, and he's going to be trying to chip this one right into the hole. You'd be very good. You'd be very good. There's no doubt about that in my mind. You're the perfect voice for golf. Yeah, and I think when I hit 60, it'll sound even better.

It'll have a slight old man raspiness to it. Oh, yeah, because you'll have worn out your voice in your future profession as a motocross announcer. Yeah. I'll have a few years as a Smith for the caviar. Caviar Smith, yes. And then I'll probably have a show

with Guy Fieri when he gets too old and he needs to revitalize his career, but I'll be slightly ahead of him at that point to where I can bring him on my show and we'll just go around kind of reliving the glory days. We'll call it glory days. That's actually a good idea. That's actually a very good idea.

I used to eat this place when I was a kid. All right. Well, before we get into our new story of the day, I found one for Crandor. I have not read it. I've only read the headline, and I want him to read it because I imagine it'll be incredible. Okay. Before we do that, let imagine it'll be incredible. Okay. Before we do that, let's talk MeUndies. Woo!

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You're so boring. They sent me two more pairs. And one's bananas. And one's zigzags. And I love them. Yeah, but the thing is. I had like black and gray. But now I got green.

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Make and model? That's right. Not only underwear make and model. You can have your boxers, your briefs, your boxer briefs. You can have lady versions too. I don't know what women wear. I couldn't tell you. I imagine thongs and not thongs. I don't know. Maybe they got granny panties. Look, I'm a man. I don't know how this works. I don't know how this works. I just know what I've seen in, like, teen dramas. And there's only thongs and granny panties.

That's true. That's the only way it works. And then the thong girls are like, just wear the granny panties. And they're like, what is that? Yeah. That's all I know. They could have both had MeUndies. Yeah.

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I just know. But I love beechwood trees. Yeah. Whatever, whatever beechwood trees got up inside them. I just know. But I love Beechwood trees. Yeah. Whatever Beechwood trees got up inside them. It's great. It's incredible. They're adventurous prints. There's boring Crandor designs.

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Go to meundies.com slash Crendor. That's me. Undies.com slash Crendor. That was nice. We synced up. .com slash Crendor. All right. Let's get to our big news story of the day.

I'm going to send this to you. All right. I've been sitting on this for a while. It's ready to hatch. I want you to get ready. Just brace yourself. I'm braced. This story is for you.

Okay. Should I read it? Yes. No, this is yes. All right, good. Florida men. We've advanced past Florida man to Florida men now. One disguised in bull costume allegedly tried to burn down ex-boyfriend's home with spaghetti sauce.

Now this is a mamma mia. Exactly. Two Florida men are accused of breaking into their ex-boyfriend's home and using... Whoa, all right, all right. Time out at the beginning of this. Right. Time out. Two Florida men are accused of breaking into their ex-boyfriend's home.

There's a story there. That first sentence is a story in itself. It really is. Do they both date this guy at the same time? Was it a threesome thing? Was it an open relationship? Do they both date this guy at the same time? Was it a threesome thing?

Was it an open relationship? Or are they exes of this guy who met and later realized how much of a scumbag this guy is? Or is one person the one that was cheated on with the other? Like, there's so many options here of what this could be. I don't know. I don't either. It's like a movie. It's like one of those, like, get revenge on your ex-boyfriend movies.

It is. And it gets crazier. Two Florida men are accused of breaking into their ex-boyfriend's home and using ragu sauce to try and burn it down. Again. Why ragu sauce? Was it just there? I have so many questions. Derek Irving, 36, and John Silva, 28, were arrested on March 13th after allegedly breaking into the home and stealing several items, including a flat screen television, window AC unit, and vacuum, according to Orlando Television. The victim called 911 after being alerted by security cameras of motion being detected in the house.

He said a towel had been placed over one of the cameras. Yo, so this guy had one of those like fancy phone camera things. Yeah. Okay. See, they're useful when your ex-boyfriends come back to steal your stuff and then burn your place down with ragu. Yeah. Arriving deputies saw a red SUV leaving the area

and conducted a stop. Two men inside the vehicle later identified as Irving and Silva so they're just picking up clothes from the home. The victim told WKMC that Irving was wearing a bull costume. The men initially denied the burglary, but when authorities went to the home, they found a burning pot of ragu sauce and a washcloth near the stove's burner,

which appeared to be in an effort to start a fire. Quote, he was trying to make it look like I left the stove on, but who gets up at 2 a.m. and fixes Skeddy? The victim said Hold on, hold on, hold on At first I was going to be upset because I was like, oh, this is a fake article because they didn't try to use ragu to burn down the place. They tried to use the process of cooking ragu.

Right. But this article completely saved by this man's, he was trying to make it look like I left the stove on, but who gets up at 2 a.m. and fixes his skeddy? Yeah, who fixes his skeddy? Who fixes his skeddy at 2 a.m.? Who fixed his skeddy? I'm calling it that shit from now on forever. I'm going to need some skeddy right now.

It is no longer spaghetti. It is skeddy. It's skeddy. Can I get some skeddy, please? You mean spaghetti? You mean spaghetti? No, skeddy. Can we get some skeddy? I'm going to need some skeddy, please? You mean spaghetti? No, skeddy. Give me that skeddy.

I'm going to need some skeddy. Oh, shit. That's funny. So, again, that's the whole story. That's it. Yeah, they were charged with $25,000. That's crazy. They're being held on bond with $25,000.

I have more questions, though. I have more questions, too. I have more questions, too. Why was he wearing a bull costume? Did he get it from the house? And he just wanted to take it. Yeah, it doesn't make sense to not put it on. It looks great. I got to put it on.

Or did he go there in the bull costume? I just don't know. I have so many questions about these two. Oh, my God. And then, why, like, okay, he's trying, so, they found a burning pot of ragu sauce and a washcloth near the stove burner. So, okay, so they just put a pot of sauce on and then just let it go? But, like, the washcloth. Yeah, I guess they, like, turned the heat up to high, maybe,

and left the washcloth near it, hoping that the washcloth? Yeah, I guess they like turned the heat up to high maybe and left the washcloth near it hoping that the washcloth would catch on fire? Yeah. But I feel like I'm no kitchen genius. But I feel like a washcloth catching on fire, unless the rest of the counter is made of something flammable, I feel like most tabletop counters in a apartment are made to withstand flames, right? I'd imagine so.

Especially if it's a gas stove. Yeah. The counter's not going to catch on fire. Unless it's a gas stove that you would take camping and then they put it on a wood table. Then maybe that would happen. Yeah.

I just don't get it. I don't get the whole process of all of this. And why did they – they wanted to burn the house down, but that's the best way they could have have the best thing they came up with was just putting on a pot of skeddy and then lighting a washcloth on fire can i tell you something were they trying to leave when they were when they were caught um arriving deputy saw a red suv leaving the area oh i guess that's they're trying to leave can i ask you a question yeah why they put on ragu but not the actual skeddy That's what I was thinking I was thinking that too

Do you think he didn't have skeddy so they went to the store To get skeddy But they only got ragu Or are they going there right then They put the sauce on Because they wanted to heat up the sauce Because the sauce you know you gotta cook it low and slow If you want it to taste real good

And then you go and you high heat that water You boil it and you put the skeddy in. So maybe they were just trying to make some food. Yeah, boy. That's what I would have gone with. I would have been like, look, he's our ex-boyfriend, and we were trying to make it up to him. So we were going to cook him skeddy. So when he gets home from, I assume, work, why else was he out?

Maybe he was out partying. When he gets home for the night, whatever the story may be, when he gets home for the night, we're going to have a skeddy waiting for him. And if he was drunk, he could have a skeddy. And if he came home from work, he'd be tired. Like, oh, I'd sell that shit. If I broke into this person's house, I'd be like, I was just trying to cook this man some food.

But at the same time, then you see their mug shots, and you wouldn't believe them at all. No, then you see their mug shots and you wouldn't believe it. Now then you realize they are criminals. Yeah. Those two gentlemen are criminal. Although the one guy has like sort of a baby face and I like it. Yeah. I feel like he was in the bull costume.

Yeah. Oh, definitely. He was the bull. That man was the bull. Let's be clear. No doubt. No doubt about that. All right.

Well, is that it for us? I think. I think that's all I got. That's a doubt about that. All right. Well, is that it for us, I think? I think that's all I got. That's a solid news story. All right. Well, thank you so much for listening or watching or whatever you're doing when you enjoy this podcast. I was trying to think of the right word there, but enjoy is a good word.

Yeah. And if you do enjoy it, leave us a rating on iTunes and let us know where else you would like to hear this podcast at. We got iTunes. And other things. We got SoundCloud. We got YouTube. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast. Or YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor for animations.

Do you want to hear us on, I don't know, Spotify? Do you want to hear us on Podsters? Podster thing? It could be. Do you want to hear us on Podlane? Do you want to hear us on Podsters? Podster thing? It could be. Do you want to hear us on Podlane? Do you want to hear us on Podskitty? Podskitty? Sounds like the name of a company that makes podcasts.

It does. This is a Podskitty podcast. That's what they play at the end of it. Mamma mia. All right. That's it. See you guys next time. And as always, to be continued.