Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 154 - Doing the Polish Sausage

Episode Date: May 24, 2018

Jesse and Crendor return to talk about the wonders that is international travel. After his month across the pond, Jesse returns with a few of the more appropriate stories he has to tell. Turns out, going to Polish bars can have some amazing people watching. Also the boys finally get around to talking about the new Maze Runner movie, as well as a man covered in oil! You know, all the things that make Cox n' Crendor.... Cox n' Crendor. Rick + Morty Season 3, Available Now on Blu-Ray and DVD. And to win a limited edition, PICKLE RICK figure go to http://GetPickleRick.com/cnc Thanks to Blue Apron for sponsoring this episode. Get your first 3 meals free at http://blueapron.com/cox

Today's episode is brought to you by Adult Swim's Rick and Morty Season 3 on Blu-ray and DVD. Treasure the pickle Rick portrait encased in plastic while you enjoy 10 full Rick and Morty episodes and exclusive special features like animatics and behind-the-scenes look at Rick and Morty production plus commentaries with the creator's cast and special guests. Also, today's episode is brought to you by Blue Apron. Delicious. This is the time to jump on Blue Apron Fresh, pre-portioned ingredients

And step-by-step recipes right to your door That can be cooked in under 45 minutes It's gonna change your food game Dude, I got my Blue Apron And you know what? I know, I was out of town so I gave it to my mom And my parents We'll talk about it, we'll talk about it

We'll talk about it. We'll talk about it. We'll talk about it. We'll talk about it when we get there. Hey. Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trending. This is Trending in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live.

In 4-hour recording studio. Recording. Wake your ass up. It's the next Crendon in the morning. Hello, everybody. Welcome back, guys. It's Crendon in the morning. Greetings.

Yeah, I was just wondering how you'd respond to that intro because I went off the rails and I'm not sure where I went to Swedish chef But the train went off the track into Sweden Into a pot of meatballs And I came out like Dirty bird Or you had a stroke One or the other

One of the two it's happened It has and most likely will happen Yeah You're back from your big cox travels the world i am i had a crazy time man i got stories for days i have so many stories um many of them inappropriate ones that i'll share in private many that I won't share at all, and many that are hilarious and worth being on this podcast. Hell yeah. Where do I even start?

I spent, I think last time we had an episode, I mentioned I was in a mine, and that was crazy. Yeah, I remember you were in a mine, you were in Amsterdam. You didn't go to the prostitute house. I miss the prostitutes completely. I don't know how or why I spent a bunch of days in Amsterdam and never once. Maybe I did. Maybe I saw a prostitute on a break, but I never once saw an actual prostitute anywhere.

But I did see a lot of families. So that was, yeah. My Amsterdam was family friendly. It was great. And so then I went to London, and that's where we filmed an episode. But while I was there, I went and traveled around the UK a little bit. Didn't go too crazy. Didn't go to like Ireland or Scotland like I wanted to.

But I went to smaller towns and like went and explored, went to Bath, which is an ancient Roman Bath Basically it was a city where they had those Giant yeah it's just called Bath And then a city where they have those Ancient like water worky hot tub Things And you go in it I guess it's a place where they would get clean

There is one that you can go in But I just went and looked at the old ones Because I was more fascinated with that. The hotel I stayed at, for the record, had the worst bed in the history of beds. It was – how do I even describe this? First off, the room, oh, my God. Let me tell you, I've never – I think the last time I stayed in some place actually outside of either London or Telford overnight was years ago. So maybe it was like this, or maybe I had just forgotten and blocked it out.

But the hotel room in Bath, the bed was like a plank of wood with four poles supporting it, and that was it. There was a cloth that I guess was supposed to be a sheet on it, but it was hard. It was the most uncomfortable bed. And the pillow wasn't like, you know, a normal pillow. The pillow was a square piece of fabric with like stuffing in it. It was like I was camping, but in a building that smelled like someone washed their dog. Oh, I would have left.

It was not okay. It was really bad. Good thing I didn't spend much time there. But at night, it was also hot, so there was no air conditioning in this place. I felt so gross. It reminded me of when I wented to Dodger's wedding. The place where she had the wedding. Well, the bed was awesome.

The room had no air conditioning. It was in the middle of summer. And at night, I just was so gross. I was, like, leaking everywhere. It was awful. And this was the same experience. This was rough. That's like those people all over Europe where they don't got air conditioning because they're like, we don't need air conditioning over here.

Yeah, you do you just don't because your buildings are really old and you just don't put it in shit there's people in my chat saying that all they're like oh i don't got air conditioning you guys are babies over there i'm like no we're in america we have people living in deserts literal deserts the future we're from the future y'all over here we have we just you know we're comfortable we got more modern homes. I like it. I like my central air. I like being able to be like, I want this temperature in the house. And you just do beep, beep, beep, and there you go.

I like that. Yeah, it was a bit much. Thankfully, I was only there one day. I was – during the day, it was fine because there was like a nice breeze, and I was walking around and like seeing things and going underground. it was fine because there was a nice breeze and I was walking around and seeing things and going underground. It was fine. At night, when you're laying in bed, I had to kick every sheet off this wood plank and just lay there. I was so gross.

I was so disgusting. I would not have wanted to have been in or around me. Not in me. That sounds weird. I wouldn't have been anywhere near me. I was disgusting. Let's see what else happened i had uh a like really awesome fan meetup that was really cool that was fun uh every time i'm there we do it at the uh loading bar very clever name um that was

that was a really cool night uh i went and spent a lot of time walking around trying to find places, like really crazy places, because everyone was like, go here, do this, check this place out. So, hold on, where's my phone? I swear to God, I, over the course of this entire trip, I'm going to try and count this out for you, because it is ludicrous. If I lived in the UK, I think I'd be super fit. I'd be like a sexy fit dude. Because let me tell you right now, when's the last episode we did?

Like the 7th, right? Something like that? Yeah. I think it was. Yeah, like two weeks ago. It was when I first got to, yeah, yeah, yeah. So on the 7th, I walked five miles. On the 8th, I two weeks ago. This is when I first got to, yeah, yeah, yeah. So on the 7th, I walked 5 miles. On the 8th, I walked 4 miles.

On the 9th, I walked 4.1 miles. On the 10th, I walked 6 miles. On the 11th, 3.6 miles. On the 12th, 2 miles. On the 13th, 7 miles. On the 14th, 3 miles. On the 13th, 7 miles. On the 14th, 3 miles. On the 15th, 4 miles. On the 16th, 3 miles. On the 17th, 10 miles. On the 18th, 8 miles. On the 19th, 6 miles. On the 20th, 7 miles. On the 21st. Three miles. That was my break day. On the 22nd, which is today, just to point this out, which is today,

.32 miles. Welcome back. Yep, back home. Made it back. Haven't left my office or the computer once today. .32 miles. Literally, I walked hundreds of miles over this course. I think it chalked

out to 201 miles over the course of the entire break I was on. When I was in Poland, I walked a lot more too, and Amsterdam. Amsterdam, I think I had one day that was like 22 miles or something crazy like that. It was nuts. I would be a legit thin person. I would be like a stud if I lived over there. Not that I'm not a stud now. But I'm telling you, everywhere I walked, I wouldn't need a car because everything was nearby. I would just have to live in a major city and pay a bajillion dollars. Yeah, that's the only thing. You just got to be rich.

Yeah. Live in a big city. If anyone out there, rich Saudi prince, wants to just give me their – every rich Saudi prince has a place in London. Just give it to me. I'll move there and live there, and I'll take care of it for you. I'll be the guy who takes care of it. And then when you come out there, I'll, like, be your servant.

Like, ah, welcome. And I'll take care of you and, like, drive you around and stuff. But the rest of the year I get to run a YouTube channel out of there. I'd do it. I'd do it. Yeah, it was crazy. I walked so effing much. But, God, what?

I'm trying to think of all the things I saw and did I'm also trying to think of what I can say And what I can't because some of it Is highly inappropriate I got it look I had a debauched A very debauched vacation Right

Things happen that are not for normal ears But I did go at one point To a place called Cyberdog. Cyberdog. I figured you would enjoy it. Cyberdog is essentially a rave

fetish store? I'm not sure how you would describe it. Basically, if you go to Camden, which is a place that I was told by certain people in the past, don't go there. It's like, hold on. I was told by certain individuals in the past, don't go there. It's boring.

Those people are idiots. They got a thing right outside CyberDog called milkshake fried Oreo donuts. Yes, I posted a photo of it. Yeah. I freaking loved it So The Cyberdog Itself is in Camden and Camden is

The most touristy Nonsensical place in the world but It's super interesting because everything There has Imagine you went to a carnival but the carnival Is like 20 years old and no one's updated anything Yeah All the buildingsival is like 20 years old and no one's updated anything. Yeah.

All the buildings outside had like giant – one building was a Chinese place that had a giant dragon outside, but the dragon was like falling apart. And one thing was this like goth store had like a sexy goth girl up front, but like she was falling apart. Everything was just sort of old looking but trying to be hip and cool, and I loved it. So you eventually get into the docks or locks or whatever the hell it is around Camden where it's a bunch of watery shit. I don't know. But you turn a corner, and there you see before you CyberDog. CyberDog is blasting techno music, and out front is a female and male robot, these giant sentinels standing in front of the entrance.

And I had no idea what to expect going in here. Everyone was like, go in with an open mind. And I was like, all right. So the minute I walked in, first off, I saw in front of me families going in. So just set up in advance. I'm in here with families now. Right. Like people with strollers, little kids, tourists taking photos of this top floor.

Even though there are things everywhere that say do not take photos. Like people with strollers, little kids, tourists taking photos of this top floor. Even though there are things everywhere that say do not take photos. So when you walk in, immediately on your left are about 20, they're clearly fake, but designed to look real like sex robots. What? Like robots that look like 70's Silver robots But they are in packaging Designed to be sold as sex bots Okay

And then straight ahead There's a bunch of trinkets and weird things that you can buy It's right near a cash register The cash register is on your right And then directly in front of you Is a bunch of what I imagine People in the 80s thought was like sci-fi cool stuff. Like computer monitors and weird shit. And then above them were two go-go girls dancing.

And they're dancing like this music and like shaking their butts and stuff. And imagine I'm in this room and there's just kids with me. And weird creepy guys taking photos. And it's just, it was bizarre. I'm on their website and they have, like, a kids, like, section. Like, I don't get. And it's just a bunch of rave stuff. Like, I don't want my kid wearing rave shit.

When you go down the escalator, you now are in this huge underground area that has a DJ with, you know, like the bumping sound wave things. I don't know what that shit's called, but in the background, every beat is like bumping up and down. And there's a giant statue of two robots, I assume banging. I'm not sure exactly what was going on, but it's them and they're their orgasming as their lower parts are intertwining. You know, robots.

Yeah, robots. And then everything else there is rave stuff, like rave backpacks and rave shirts and rave glitterware, whatever the hell. Yeah, it's a lot of raves. And it's all blacklit and neon,, it's just loud and crazy. And they're just tourists taking photos, even though again, it says don't take photos.

So at that point I was like, screw it. I'm gonna start taking photos too. So I started taking photos of everything and eventually get to a point where you turn a corner and there's a security guard, an actual real person standing there watching you. And that's when I realized there was a basement. When you go in the basement,

it's all sex toys. Hundreds and hundreds of sex toys. And all the art on the wall is of robots having sex. And then as I went down the stairs to see what was in there, I noticed that's when there's a bunch of women in lingerie dancing.

But they're not dancing to the techno that's above. Now they're dancing to like hard metal, just like crazy death metal. And again, weird seeing a woman try to like sexy dance to a guy who's like, it was weird. But at that point I was like, all right, I'm not gonna take pictures of this

because that's messed up. And so I looked around there and was like well this is that's what i was like well this was interesting and then i left after i was like well seen everything i need to see went outside and that's what i realized directly across the street from this place besides the oreo milkshake thing and all these other little shops directly across the way is like an old-timey tea cafe and there were a bunch of old ladies just sitting out there sipping tea watching people go in and out of this building and I wonder

if they are like me and they just want to watch people because I would have sat there all day if I wasn't like on the move it was an event it was crazy it's definitely a place I would like to watch all the like crazy people or just people see the crazy people.

I think this is one of the few things that you, I feel like, should have seen when you were in England. Yeah. It's disappointing to me that we were told that Camden sucked because Camden does not suck. It's pretty cool. And I think most people probably just say it sucks. See, it's like a touristy thing so like yeah it sucks yeah yeah but they don't understand but like they don't get it that's where the crazy shit goes down they don't understand people don't get it um that was nuts

but uh i'm trying to think of what oh oh my god all right so here's another story this is in poland um i went to this convention convention was fine but afterwards every. I went to this convention. The convention was fine, but afterwards, every night, we went to this place that was sort of like an open food court slash bar. So there's a big bar in the middle, and then around the bar were all these different food options you could go to. So it was like you were in a mall, but not, and the middle area was this bar that served all sorts of drinks, and then around it were all these different food stalls, and I thought that was pretty cool. And so I went and had my, I had like a birthday party there and a bunch of people came it was crazy but um the second night that we

went there I was trying to teach all the people who went with me because they were like how do you and Crendor see crazy stuff and I was like you gotta keep your eyes open like you can't just enjoy you have to enjoy others as well that's the thing I mentioned this to uh to like when Dan was visiting

our animator Dan we like went to the mall walking around. And I was like, oh my God, you see that person? He's just like, what? And I was like, Dan, you're not looking. You're not watching. Yeah, you have to open your eyes and see the world around you. You can't just be focused on yourself and your own little goofy tendencies. You got to look out for everyone else.

And this is when. Constantly in observation mode. This is when we saw two things that proved to everyone who was with me exactly what we were up to. They had a dance. First off, dear Poland, you have some of the craziest dancers I've ever seen in my life.

Just, like, you know all those jokes that comedians do about, like, this is how white people dance. Boop-a-doop-a-doop. Yeah. It's pretty much that. Oh my god. It was incredible. You know all those jokes that comedians do about like, this is how white people dance. It's pretty much that. Oh, my God. It was incredible. I got something to ask you.

All right. Polish people. All right. I didn't say this. I'm like part Polish. Why do so many Polish people love cars? I swear to God. Every Polish person.

I don't know anything about that. I don't know anything about that. Well, Chicago has a lot of Polish people. And I swear to God. I feel like Chicago Polish people are different than Polish Polish people. Well, like, I'll look at Snapchat even and see these stories. It's like, he's got his car. It's just, it's like National Poland Day they had. And he's just like, he's like revving the cars.

And a bunch of them were like, standing around like, woo. And then like, I don't know what it is. But like, the vast majority of people that love cars here are polish people is that like just a thing like yeah i'm polish i don't open question polish maybe i'm not like a hundred percent maybe that's why i don't like cars i mean that's it uh i will say that every like all the food i ate was awesome so poland's killing it on the food front. They have a soup, and I keep forgetting the name of it, but it is like sour.

Sour soup. Yeah, but it has some sort of bacon and or ham, and you put an egg in it. It sounds bizarre, but it's so good. I don't know what it's called. Is it like an egg drop soup soup Like their version of the Asian one No it literally is half an egg And you like It's a boiled egg and you drop it in

And then the egg yolk Sort of like mixes with the hot broth And it becomes not as sour And kind of creamy looking It's delicious I don't know what the deal is But it's so good I like beet soup I mean it's not that one night we went out to dinner.

Oh, my God. Before we get to the crazy dance party, one night we went out to dinner, and the people – we went to this restaurant where it was a – it was, like, themed around Poland, except it was more Witcher-themed. It was very nice, but they kept playing Witcher music, and I was like, whatever, I can live in the Witcher. And all the food was really, really good, but there was one area. Also, shout out to the two hosts. There were two people there servicing us.

The old, old lady, who was sort of behind the barn in the kitchen, and then the woman who came around like collecting all the plates and whatever right who i will say might have been one of the most beautiful people i've ever seen in my life she was flawless and i was like how can i convince her to run away with me like look you're beautiful you shouldn't be serving it was whatever it doesn't matter. The old lady is the best part of this story because she was near this tray of meats and cheeses. And so at the beginning, I got the soup and then I went around and had some like people told me to eat this bread.

And it was like a homemade bread, but it had with it not butter, but straight up just lard, but lard mixed with stuff. And it tastes so good. And I don't know how to define how good it was, but it was the best, like one of the best bread butter situations I've ever had in my life. Anyway, I went over because I just wanted to see what cheeses they had. And I wasn't even going to get any. This old lady comes over and she's like, you want the cheese? I was like, um, what kind of cheese do you have?

And she takes a plate, cuts one slice, puts it on the plate. Another slice, puts it on the plate. Gives me all six different types of cheeses. And then slices of meat. And I'm like, no, no, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. She's like, you eat, you eat. You are skinny, you are skinny boy. She's like, you eat.

And she kept giving me stuff. And then she was like, now you drink. And she gave me what I guess is honey beer, question mark. Oh, wow. And then she kept giving it to me. And I was just like, I'm so full. And she's like, you eat. And so because she was standing across from me where I was sitting down,

I felt so obligated to eat everything off the plate that even full, I felt, I was like, it's so good i was getting so sick and i was like it's delicious she's like you like like yeah it's really good the difference is i would hit the point where i wouldn't even care i'd be like lady i'm not eating anymore all right but you know i'm also not a fun person. As I discovered from my personality test, we'll talk about later. I have I have issues with pleasing other people. Right. So, yeah, I was like, OK. But, yeah, I went to this going forward a few days.

I was at this this bar slash food court and I saw the biggest I don't want to call him dumb but I'm going to assume it was a giant meathead. But he was like a Polish meathead. A Polish meathead. Imagine. I mean he could have been like

I want to call him like a Polish sausage. He was just big and he had this sort of like almost shaved head, and he had this look on his face that just he was kind of red in the face all the time. Yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the girl he was dancing with looked like, I don't know how to describe her, like Demi Moore, but old Demi Moore, right?

Right, I know what you mean. And she was dancing, but in the area around the DJ area, they had lawn chairs. So he's sitting in a lawn chair, and she starts dancing, but not just dancing, but like strip club dancing.

Oh. She's like rubbing herself in front of him, like shaking her ass, and the guy literally has a camera and is filming her. What? I know. And so I told everyone, I was like, watch this. This is going to be the best show in the house. And so he's filming her, and? I know. And so I told everyone, I was like, watch this.

This is going to be the best show in the house. And so he's filming her, and she's like sexy dancing. Meanwhile, in the background, there are other couples like dancing to the song. The song is not a sexy dancing song. It is like, I think it was like some, it might have been Kendrick Lamar, but it like wasn't a song where she's like slow sexy dancing It was awful It was so funny to watch

And then at one point she pulls him and is like come up here He like grabs her butt and then he starts dancing with her But the dance he does She's doing this like sexy touching herself dancing His dancing is imagine if you will Everyone at home do this Start pumping your right hand up in the air Right

Start pumping your left hand up in the air right start pumping your left hand up in the air right and then that's it all right i can do that this was pumping it looked like he was lifting invisible weights over his head while she is sitting there just like rubbing her ass against him and he's like oh oh it ooh, ooh. It was incredible. I've never seen anything like it. I don't know how. It's just something about this guy made him so funny. And I don't know what it was exactly.

But he was just like, it was just like a meathead, but like in Poland. And it was incredible. Yeah. So that's pretty much what some fun stuff happened to me. Without taking up the entire – oh, shit. The most important thing happened. I watched Death Cure. Oh, my God.

You watched it. I know. Oh, my God. I watched it on the plane ride back. We need to talk about that at some point. I don't know if it's this episode, but oh, my God. I watched it, and I have so many thoughts because what the shit. Should we do that now?

Should we save that for a separate episode? I mean, do you remember anything? I don't know. Do you remember the movie? I remember the movie, yes. Okay. All right. Then we should talk about it. All right.

Let's talk about it then. Holy shit. The beginning, they throw you into it. Yeah, they throw you into it. It's like, do you remember what happened? No. No, it doesn't matter it then. Holy shit. The beginning, they throw you into it. Yeah, they throw you into it. Do you remember what happened? No. No, it doesn't matter. You're in now.

I still had that kind of paradox where I still didn't know what movie I was in from all the different movies. I was like, is this that one with the, no, that's Divergent, but then there's, wait, that was, wait, oh yeah's wait that was wait Oh yeah this okay and then I like Then I settled in Yeah the movie literally starts you out with For the first Five or ten minutes I totally forgot that The guy from Breaking Bad

Was a character in this movie I also forgot Which lead female Character was which so when The movie started out, I was like, wait, didn't she betray them last time? Why is she in the car? I had no clue what was going on. And then finally it all started to click. I was like, oh yeah, the one who betrayed them all is the one from the new Pirates movie. It all started to click together. And then it became crazy. It became a crazy movie where, let's see, what the shit happens in this movie.

First off, besides the fact that the premise is that the main character is the chosen one because he's the only one who can save everyone with his blood. Yeah. Is a thing. Mm-hmm. But also the fact that no one seems to care. They're like, he can save us all. Yeah.

And everyone's like, no, why would we do that? And that's the premise of this movie. The hero can save everyone, but won't do it. Well, what I remember most about this movie is that it went from this path, it's followed this path from a mysterious maze type of movie right where you're like why are they in this maze what's going on this maze is crazy what the shit's going on then it goes to like zombie survival and then um it's people versus people basically

yeah it was it well it felt like it just became an action movie. I mean, that's what it became. The basic premise is Mino or whatever his name is. I always thought it was Miho, but they kept calling him Mino. And I was like, is his name Mino? I have no idea what this character's name is. But he is captured at the end of the second movie. And so the vast majority of this movie is saving this guy. And he's being tortured because they discover that this virus that's turning everyone into crazy zombie killers,

if you give the blood of people that were in the maze, then it can hold off the effects of this. The problem is that it doesn't work very well And eventually no matter what they like become corrupted Yeah and except for the fact the main character Thomas is He has super blood I guess is the point Yeah Which it's one of those like

He's the one but in a weird way Yeah he's the one who doesn't give a shit About being the one He does not want to help anyone They're like we need your blood and he's the one who doesn't give a shit about being the one. He does not want to help anyone. Yeah. They're like, we need your blood. And he's like, F off. It's crazy.

So what happens is he ends up going with his cool crew. Because I guess a character who I forgot, old white bearded guy who is in charge of all of the survivors, question mark. They want to go to an island, and he has a boat. And he's like, we're going to get out of here, and they'll never find us, and we'll live free. And so at the beginning, they save a bunch of the test subject kids, and they're like, we have to leave Mino behind, or whatever his name is.

And he's like, no, I'll never do it. So they go on a cool raid mission to go to the last city on Earth, question mark, maybe. And they try to infiltrate the city, but there's a giant wall around it. So they go on a cool raid mission to go to the last city on Earth, question mark, maybe? And they try to infiltrate the city, but there's a giant wall around it. So they end up getting captured by the guy from the shield,

except half his face is zombie. For some reason, they do not explain, like he's half zombie, but they never explain how he's able to live that way. And then for some reason, the dude from the first movie who died at the end the guy who killed the little fat kid at the end of the first movie he he's back and they're like wait didn't we impale you with literally a like a spear but he's fine he's like no i got out of that yeah he's like i managed to get out of there people saved me and now he works with this resistance group that's trying to get inside the city.

And from that point on, the rest of the movie is about them trying to take down Wicked, this evil corporation that runs the last city, while defeating the guy from Littlefinger. They're basically trying to defeat Littlefinger from Game of Thrones. And meanwhile, Thomas is still obsessed with the girl who broke his heart slash betrayed him. She works a wicked job. Yeah, she works there because she's a scientist who has clearly discovered the best way to synthesize their blood.

And then there's like her boss, who is like a scientist as well, but she seems like the good guy version of Littlefinger, but they both work together. And from that point on, it literally becomes them fighting in this city, and they have to infiltrate this base. And it seemed very, very short, because not much actually happened, but there was a lot of action scenes and then at one point at the very very end all hell breaks loose and the option is given like either you come and save everyone or we all die like that kind of thing and he does it for Teresa who's the girl and Thomas goes I think that's her name I hope that's her name yeah and he goes there to help her and of course Littlefinger's like I'm the bad guy so, so I'm going to try and kill everyone.

And then that shit happens. And then at the end, almost everybody dies. That's pretty much almost everyone dies at the end. The little squirrely guy, the little thin dude, he is bit at the end of the last movie, I suppose. And so he is slowly being corrupted over the course of this one. Teresa, like, died for no reason. She could have... Yeah, at the end of the movie,

Teresa... She could have made that jump so easily. Just... I want to point out for the record. Thomas gets shot. He is literally dying. Teresa throws him to a helicopter. If you have the physical strength

to throw a guy to a helicopter, you have the physical strength to jump to a helicopter She's like she just sits there and is like No I ain't gonna do it It's like what you're the only scientist who knows how to Synthesize this stuff to save everyone She's like ain't gonna do it

So you have to say in the end I'm pretty sure the world just dies But all the kids live They form their own civilization Essentially they're just having a beach party or some shit Yeah and then they Put all the names live Question mark Yeah so they like Form their own Civilization essentially They're just having A beach party Or some shit Yeah and then they Put all the names

Of everyone who died Over the course of These three movies On a monument And then the very Very end Thomas who has The last vial

Of this stuff That can cure people Stares out this boat On the ocean I think the message Is supposed to be That he's gonna go out And save people

But literally It doesn't happen The world is dead As as far as I know, and they're all in Hawaii? I don't know where they are. It's nonsense. They're just having a beach party. It's crazy.

It doesn't make any sense. This movie is crazy. All the good characters have died. All the assholes managed to live. That's literally what happened. It's literally what happens. It's crazy. It's an actual insane ending and then yeah uh even the last like segment where like little fingers is trying to kill everybody

and he's like where are you where are you thomas and he's like going around like and then the lady like dies because he shoots her and he's just like yeah keep in in mind, the whole premise of the resistance is that they're like, yeah, we're going to retake the city, the last city. The first thing they do, the leader of their resistance drives a car bomb into a wall and explodes himself. You're like, wait, what? And then from that point on, literal hell breaks loose and everyone dies. You're like, wait, this was their plan? Their plan was to unleash pure chaos. Sir, what if, what if you just, you know, sent the car bomb in without you on it?

Oh yeah. I didn't think about that part. He's half zombie. He's an idiot. He doesn't know any better. What a nonsensical movie. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I was like, this is so dumb.

I love it. Here's the thing. But I enjoyed it too. But I was like, I felt like it turned into, it was just an action movie. But I mean, I'll take an action movie. Yeah, I was, I'm not going to lie. I was waiting. Instead of that twist at the end where he looked at the violin and looked at the ocean and was like, I'm going to go back out there.

I was expecting them to get on this island and then the camera to pan out and to have it be another simulation. And the last city was part of it. And the whole thing was fake. I was ready for that moment. Because that's And the last city was part of it. And the whole thing was fake. I was ready for that moment. Because that's what the last two fucking things have been. Every time they get to the ending, it's like, but there's more. And you're like, what? I literally figured that was the case.

Not at all. There's too many things that don't have that kind of weird twisty ending. I love those types of endings. That's why the first movie, that's why we loved the first movie so much because it literally was they're trapped in a maze and then when they get out, there's like scientists and shit. And you're like, wait, what? The same thing happened to

Off Topic, but like video games. We played, what's that one with the two guys? Last, not Last of Us. One Way Out. It's where... Yeah, yeah, A Way Out. A Way Out. We beat that game all right and then as we had our own like meme ending me and my friend that played it and then uh our chat was

like you gotta see the real endings and i watched the real endings i was like why do you tell me this i hate the real endings i think they're boring yeah they're like the real endings are i do not like them more importantly some of the aspects don't make any sense. Yeah. And I was like, this would have been a perfect game to like put one of those weird twisty endings into it. Like twist the twist. Yeah.

I was, I was complaining about the endings and then that's when I realized a dev from the game was in chat. I was like, let me tell you about your endings. I didn't even care. I was like, this one doesn't make any sense, and this one, while clearly the best one, is the worst ending because it's the saddest and meanest. And he was like, we figured. I was like, it doesn't matter

what you thought. I was so mad. I was so mad at the endings of those games. I think it's on the same level of that where I feel like they could have really capped it off, and instead it was just like, eh. I would have loved it if the third movie ended with them making it to freedom but in reality

they were in a bigger version of the maze. Yeah. That would have been great. That would have been the coolest ending to anything where it was like we did it. And then Thomas having that like maybe there's something still out there that would have been important because maybe he could have found out. Right. But it was dumb. Now it was like I did it. I saved

the world. But maybe there's something still out there. Like, who cares? Yeah. You all made it to Hawaii. You're fine. No one gives a shit. That's what we waited two years for. Yep.

That's what we waited two years for. Yeah, so I figured we should talk about that because I saw that movie and was losing my mind. I was on the plane like, are you kidding me? Is this happening right now? Yeah. Yeah, I forgot I even watched it. That was like back in February, January, February.

Yeah, whenever it came out earlier this year, yeah. So that was an event that I experienced. Oh, I was going to ask you if you saw the royal wedding. I did not, but what I did see was a ton of merchandise and BS around London when I was there. Everything was Royal Wedding. I remember I walked past this one building called Smeg, which I think is an appliance store but has the worst name imaginable. Right.

And it had two refrigerators in the window, one in a white gown and one in a black tuxedo. And it said, hashtag Royal Wedding. And I was like, get out of town. They put a fridge and tuxedo and it said hashtag royal wedding and i was like get out of town they put a fridge and tuxedo and wedding gown it was the worst uk you got problems i'm just saying no did you watch the actual wedding what was that like i watched the actual wedding and uh it was okay it was like a typical wedding. I was looking at Twitter. Did you see all the lords and ladies?

Like, Lord Kensington the third. They're like, and now arriving is John Henry the fifth. And he's like, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. And they had all the people waiting outside. And then they're rushing her there in the car. And they're like, gotta get it on before noon. And so then they had the crazy stuff with all the royals. Did you see?

What? Did you see the clip of the pastor giving like, like, and Jesus was talking about love. And then it cuts the royal family and they're all just like, oof. Oh yeah, that guy. He's like, fire.

It's so funny. Fire. He's like, let me tell y'all in the Bible. And then it cuts like the queen and she's just like, oof. Yeah. Find that clip if you're listening to this. tell y'all in the Bible. And then it cuts like the queen and she's just like, yeah, it's find that clip. If you're listening to this,

it's so funny. They like, don't give us, they're all even, even his brother is just like this guy. What a weirdo. It cracks me up. It was, uh,

my favorite part about the whole thing was I was watching the CBS broadcast of it and with CBS I loved how much they made it like a sporting event. They were like, we're going to be analyzing right down here what this wedding cake is made of. It's got 50 pounds of butter, 200 pounds

of elderflowers and when you break it down you just see what's this cake going to taste like? We're going to kick it over to our head chef, Jonathan. He's going to tell us. He's like, well, you don't get many elderflowers out here, I'll tell you that much. This is a royal herb.

I was like, oh, my God, this is just a sports cast. But on a wedding. That's what I love the most about it. They're like bringing people in. These two people from Los Angeles. They're like, people in There's these two people from like Los Angeles They're like we know Prince Charles We got invited out here They're like how'd you get invited

They're just like we loved it But how'd you get invited They never said I was like disappointed Because I wanted to know how these random ass people got invited From LA But you'll notice The place they got married Is the place you and I went to where you fell in love with that old timey door.

Is it? Wow. Yeah. Mama Mia. That's the place where they got married. It's where the old timey door, the oldest door in England that you found, that's where it's at. I knew something cool would happen there one day. Right?

It's just a matter of time before something cool happens. Besides the oldest door. Yep. Well, the oldest door is pretty cool. Let's not downplay that. I'm not. I'm definitely saying it's the coolest. Oh, the one thing I was realizing was I was like, wow.

And then after I was thinking, when would they get to be king? So I'm like, all right, there's the prince and princess. Now everyone's like, oh, you wouldn't get to be king. There's Charles all right there's the prince and princess now and everyone's like oh you wouldn't get to be king there's charles then there's william then there's william's kids then there's uh he's he's and i was like he is really far in line yeah basically he has no chance of being king unless five other people six other people in front of him die i love that it's like you got one D. It's like, all right, I can see him being king. He kind of looks like Tywin Lannister.

Then you got the Williams. Like, all right, I can see him being king. He's like the oldest. But then his kids get to be like kings before he does. Yeah. Well, that's why back in the old days they would kill the entire family. That's what I was saying. I was like, no wonder people got assassinated back then.

It wasn't just you didn't kill your brother. You killed your brother's family because if you killed your brother, then his kid would take over. Yeah. That shit was crazy. That's why people were ruthless as shit. Yeah. So now you know. Now I know.

Now it's my royal wedding experience. All right. Well, you know what? I think we should talk about Adult Swim and Rick and Morty Season 3 on Blu-ray. Y'all, it's out. Just like the season, you waited forever, and it's finally here. It's finally here. Yeah.

You and your family can now relive all the memes that existed that killed the internet. all the memes that existed that killed the internet. From Pickle Rick to Szechuan Sauce, all of it. You can now enjoy it. Treasure the Pickle Rick portrait encased in plastic while you enjoy 10 full Rick and Morty episodes.

Exclusive special features like animatics, behind the scenes Rick and Morty productions, commentaries with the creators, cast, special guests, all in an effort to exploit the greatness that is this American classic. You could win, if you're lucky enough, a handmade limited edition Pickle Rick figure. Oh my god! I don't know who made it. I don't know whose hands have made this.

Unbelievable. Unbelievable. I don't know who made it I don't know whose hands have made this Unbelievable I never thought I'd see one of them casted Into an actual figurine In my lifetime Now you no longer have to dress like Pickle Rick When you go to conventions You can just have that at home I never thought the day would come

I thought I'd always have to dress up All you gotta do is you gotta go to GetPickleRick.com slash c and c for cox and crendor but that's three letters c and c get pickle rick.com slash cnc that's right you can get your pickle rick on at get pickle rick.com and truly embrace the powers of get pickle rick.com slash cnc don't't miss out. Season 3 of Rick and Morty is here. Blu-ray and DVD.

Yeah. And I think we can all recall exactly where we were when we heard I'm Pickle Rick! Because I know I can. I can. That's the day I realized

we were all screwed. Yep. Yeah. I remember. Yeah, I remember. And from that point on it was like it's going to be Rick and Morty nonstop for the next five months. The memes had taken over the internet, and I knew right then.

I was like, that's it. Hot Topic's only going to have Rick and Morty stuff from now on. Also, this week is brought to you by Blue Apron. Blue Apron is offering our listeners their first three meals free. Free. When it comes to dinner, let Blue Apron take care of your butt. It's got the planning. It's got the shopping.

It's all handled through them. And then you can have awesome meals like popcorn chicken with sweet chili cabbage slaw and cumin spiced wonton noodles with vegetables and peanuts on the table in 30 minutes or less with incredible ingredients and chef-designed recipes. Blue Apron lets you see what the power of food can do. Let me tell you, we got

some Blue Apron sent to us. Yes. I did, mainly. I mean, yeah, mainly you, but my parents did. And I want to let you know, while I was out of the country, my parents sent me photos of every time they made something. They loved it. They were so happy. I think they just straight up bought a subscription.

Because I think they now cook three meals a week with Blue Apron. Do you remember some of the ones they made? I remember one of them because it was specifically the Buffalo Pops or whatever it was. Buffalo Pops? I made Buffalo Chicken Meatballs. Maybe that's what it was. I'm literally going back through the text messages my mom sent me because she sent me photos of everything.

It was like, look what we got. And she loved it. I loved it too. We got a chicken katsu thing. Made buffalo chicken meatballs. There's like these. I think they got almost the exact same thing you got because they got the chicken katsu. got a um stir fry meal i believe yeah

got stir fry um got uh oh my god there's like these ones like radish sweet spicy radish tacos or something oh my god that was one of those things where i was like oh this might be all right good it was one of the greatest things I think I've ever eaten. It hit all the flavor palettes. It was so good to the point where I was like, we can just make this any time. Let's keep the recipe thing. I can make this whenever I want.

You get a free recipe out of doing this too, and you can just go do that. And it tells you like pairings, like wine pairings and stuff. They give you all the information you need to make a really good night out and impress someone. Yeah. It is convenient. It offers variety. I'm not sure if you're aware of this but when you order through their website you choose from many different recipes and then you can set sort of limits for yourself so you say like i want to have a diet where i'm like trying to lose some weight they'll

limit what you can eat so if you say well i want this hamburger a little bit like all right well you can't have the noodles then because you're're having too many carbs, dummy. And so they'll really help you if you want to do it that way. And you can pick between two, three, and four recipes based on your schedule. It's super high quality, non-GMO stuff, and one of the great things is right now, some of the recipes they have, besides looking delicious and being amazing, are pork chorizo tacos with radishes, roasted potatoes,

and cotija cheese, salmon and spicy orange salsa with quinoa and carrot salad. They have a white cheddar cheeseburger with balsamic glazed onions and roasted potatoes, and a creamy pesto cavatelli with mushrooms and spicy

breadcrumbs. Mamma mia. That's just four of the many things you can pick from going on right now for this month. It's organic, farm to table. So what you need to do right now is head over to blueaprid.com slash cocks. Cocks. Get your first three meals free. I'm telling you, if this is something you have always wanted to do, it's like learn to cook.

This is the simplest, easiest way to start. It straight up is the best thing you could do. Because a lot of times you go to the grocery store and you're like, I don't know where to begin. Maybe you have a recipe and that's sort of where you start. But then you're like, okay, well, now I have eight boxes of noodles and I have no idea what to do with these. Everything's portioned.

Everything is ready for you. All you got to do is just follow the instructions and there's there's nothing left over because you're just doing what they tell you to do yeah it's great all you do you get the card they send you things you refrigerate them and you pull it out when you want it and you're like hey I'm gonna make this and then it's like do this do this do this and by the time it's over you get like 20-30. It tells you usually how long it takes on the cart. And then, bam, you got food. You didn't have to go out and get it. And it's like a Mamma Mia.

You accomplished cooking when you never thought you could cook in your life. At that point, then you know exactly what you need. And then you can take that recipe and go do it yourself. Exactly. And there you go. You got healthy meals. Blueapron.com slash Cox. Go there. Blueapron.com slash Cox. Go there.

Blueapron. It's a better way to cook. Do it. All right. Let's do this thing and head to Chopping Up. I'm the guy with Crandor. Crandor, how's that traffic out there? Oh, wow.

I forgot we even had these segments. Hey, I'm up here in the sky, and I'm flying around. And today, I'm just taking it easy. I don't even want to look at the traffic. I see the clouds, see a couple birds up here, a plane. Man, when you don't have to do work, it's great. So I'm going to kick it back to you in the studio. Thanks, Crendor.

Now let's head over to the weather desk. Crendor, how's that weather? Weather desk. Arr, we got the weather today. Arr, we got the weather today. Irish weather. Hey. Arr. We got there. We're. Um.

I don't know what the weather is. Wappy, what's the weather? Wappy activated. I. A. O. Dark. I.

O. Con. Tomb. Vietnam. Damn. Wait, what? I thought you were going to Iowa at first, then you went to Vietnam. Dark Iowa, Vietnam, 87 degrees.

What? Wait, hold on. Time out. Dark Iowa? Dark I-O. I-O. Dark I-O? Dark I-O.

I feel like you don't know what you're saying, Wampy. Dark I-O, Vietnam, 87 degrees Fahrenheit. Feels like 92 Fahrenheit today. Thunderstorms, high 89 Fahrenheit, 90% chance. Tonight, thunderstorms, 30% chance. 67 degrees Fahrenheit Thursday. Thunderstorms, 88 degrees Fahrenheit, 80% chance. Rain Thursday, thunderstorms, 80 degrees.

Thanks, Woppy. Sounded like the lyrics to a Imagine Dragons song. 89 degrees Fahrenheit, thunderstorms all night. Yep, perfect. All right, and let's head over to sports. Hey, we got sports news going on. Hey, sports. People are tearing their ACLs in football already.

Basketball's playing out. It's either going to be LeBron versus the Cavaliers. Well, it is LeBron versus the Cavaliers. Or not the Cavaliers, the Celtics. I mixed them up. LeBron versus the Cavaliers. Or not the Cavaliers, the Celtics. I mixed them up. LeBron versus the Celtics, and then Golden State versus Houston. LeBron versus the Cavaliers would be an amazing game. It's just him versus his entire team.

I'd watch that. LeBron takes on his own team. That would be the first pro basketball game I watched in 20 years. Hockey, the Vegas Knights have made the Stanley Cup playoff. How is this? It is their playoff. How is this? It is their first season. How is this possible? Mm-hmm.

I don't know. And Vegas, first season of a Vegas team. It goes against all logic. It's crazy that that's happening. It's, uh, it's, hold on, let me see. Yeah, yeah, yeah and then let's see we got the Capitals and the Lightning in game 7 so we're going to play the Capitals or the Lightning

and I literally can't wait to see what happens I hope it's the Capitals because that means if the Capitals win then they finally win a Stanley Cup after being in contention for one for like 12 years and always losing the playoffs or they'll lose to the first year vegas knights and feel even worse um that's what i'm gonna be

incredible whatever happens this is like alien versus predator yeah whatever whatever happens is bad for everyone and then uh what else is there uh baseball still still going. NBA lottery. Bulls drop from like 6th to 7th, so that kind of sucks. Phoenix Suns get the number one pick, so they might be able to get good again. They won't. They won't. And that's sports. All right. Well, Crandor, what is our big news story of the day? All right, well, Crandor, what is our big news story of the day? Naked Gulf Breeze man tasered after walking through neighborhood carrying cooking oil.

Yeah, go on. A Gulf Breeze man was arrested for allegedly walking completely naked through a Woodlawn Way neighborhood Thursday evening. Joseph John Musso, 63, faces several charges in connection to the incident, including loitering and prowlinging you know you're in trouble when they use your first middle and last name yeah it's like his mom's writing the article joseph john uh he faces several charges in connection to the incident including loitering and prowling lewd and lascivious behavior, resisting an officer without violence and exposure of sexual organs. A Santa Rosa County Sheriff's Office deputy was dispatched to the area at about 8.30 p.m. after a homeowner reported that while he was in Pensacola, his security camera provided an alert to his cell phone that someone was near his front door.

Captured footage of a naked man walking past the home near the front door. The homeowner told authorities. At the time, two children and a babysitter were inside, but the report notes the three did not see the naked man. Okay. A deputy was at home getting information. He received a second call from a neighbor reporting that they saw a naked man with an erection on the front porch. Wait, time out. When does the pot come in?

We're getting there. We're getting there. Musso's completely naked. Wait, does he still have it with him, or does he pick it up later? He's got cooking oil. Yeah, but where does he get that stuff from? I don't know.

All right, he's completely naked. He's got an erection, and he is reportedly standing near a red pickup truck and holding a plastic bottle with cooking oil. Musso attempted to run around the truck to avoid the deputy, but the deputy caught up to him and removed the bottle of cooking oil from his hand. Oh, my God. Do you think if you were watching it, it would be like one of those things where he was on one side of the truck, the deputy was on the other, and they kept chasing each other around it? Because that would be amazing. It's also amid heavy rainfall the deputy tried to handcuff muso but the man slipped away and started to run through the yard he continued to run down the street even after

the deputy drew his taser and commanded him to stop eventually he fired his taser forcing him to fall to the ground on his back. He was then handcuffed and put in a patrol vehicle. Musso told deputies he received sexual gratification by being naked in public. He said he was carrying cooking oil because he liked to rub it on

his legs. I mean, who doesn't like to rub their legs with cooking oil? I like to lather up every now and again. Who doesn't like to lather up in cooking oil every once in a while? Yeah, that's how I get into jeans. I lather up in cooking oil and slide those babies right up. He's booked into the Santa Rosa jail and he's been released.

Do we have a photo of this man? Now, this is a photo I want to see. Yes, we do. Of course we do. He looks like he was rejected from being a hobbit in lord of the rings and what whoa whoa whoa he's a hobbit oh my god i said this is not how i thought this guy would look like at all like he tried to audition back like 20 years ago for lord of the rings but he he didn't get it. Never since then. He's been on a downward spiral.

Wait, what is this guy's name? John, no, Joseph John Musso. Joseph John Musso looks like a guy who runs a deli in Queens. He does. He does look like a guy. He looks like the crazy, look at this guy.

Yeah. The crazy thing is the fact that he has hair. If he had no hair, I think he was like a businessman. But the fact that he has hair. If he had no hair, I think he was like a businessman. But the fact that he has long, crazy hair makes it even better. I think I'd get Danny DeVito to play him in a movie. Yes! Oh my god, it's basically

Danny DeVito. Danny DeVito. This is an episode of Always Sunny. Are we being trolled here? I think we're being trolled. This seems like an Always Sunny episode. Is he tall I bet he's I mean oh my God that's incredible Oh wow

We well That's your Florida man news for the day Yep all right Everybody thank you so much For listening or watching Or doing whatever it is you're doing right Now with us I hope

that you will go and give us thumbs up and five stars and likes and all the different things that we require in order to be successful and check us out on YouTube and Crandor hit him with the links I got the links we got soundcloud.com

slash Cox and Crandor we got youtube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast we got youtube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast. We got YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor, which is the animated ones. You got your podcast, you got your animated. We got our YouTube channels that are what you normally do. You got WowCrandor, you got Jesse Cox. You got your things we promoted today. GetPickleRick.com

slash CNC. Go get it there. Also, go to BlueApron.com slash Cox if you want some Blue Apron stuff. Also, why not like, why not subscribe? Why not do any type of shareable media? Why not recommend some things we can do? And I think that's all I got. All right.

Well, that's it for us. Thank you so much. And as always, to be continued.