Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 155 - A Hamburger Does NOT Have Cheese

Episode Date: June 3, 2018

The boys return and this time they've discovered the fun language that is whatever the hell Australians call English. Also Crendor reads an old mans rant about cheeseburgers and Jesse can't get over the Las Vegas hockey teams intro. All this and so much more, on this episode of Cox n' Crendor! Thanks to Hims for sponsoring this episode. To start your month trial for just $5 visit http://forhims.com/cox Thanks to MeUndies for sponsoring this episode. Get 20% off your first pair at http://meundies.com/crendor

Today's episode is brought to you by me undies. They're the undies that we have been talking about for some time now. And I love them. Crendor loves them. A lot of you who have bought them responded to us online and were like, guys, they're great. You were right. We are right. Me undies are amazing.

And we're going to talk about them more later in the show. Also, today's episode is brought to you by 4Hims. 4Hims is the place you want to go if you're looking to fight your hair loss and many other male problems. 4Hims.com to get access to real doctors with medical grade solutions. We'll talk about that later in the show, too. All right, let's get this thing started. Hello, everybody.

It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. This is Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In a four-hour recording studio. Recording. Wake your ass up. It's up next.

Good morning. Hello, everybody, and welcome to another exciting episode of Cox and Crandor in the morning. It's so exciting that my blood pressure is far too high. That's not good. That's not good. Or my sodium levels. That's also not good. That's not good. Or my sodium levels. That's also not good. It's probably connected. Actually, my blood pressure done today

is normal. Oh, okay. Well, then you're doing great. Oh, you went to the doctor? You went to the doctor today? Did you have like a little... Or did you just go to a pharmacy and put your hand in that thing? No, I went to the doctor because I had to get my, uh, another like post gallbladder body checkup where they're like all right it's looking

good because i'm uh it's been what one two wait two three four five three months now damn three month arouge since i've had it out how you doing how you holding up doing all right that's uh it's not too bad that's just you know you do a thing and then you're like up can't do that anymore you know you can't eat cheesecake factory and then uh have a thing, and then you're like, oh, can't do that anymore. You can't eat Cheesecake Factory and then have a giant barbecue and then Chipotle three days in a row. So I learned that. Yeah, I mean, I don't know why you would want to do that. I still don't know why you want to go to Cheesecake Factory to begin with. Why would you start that week?

Cheesecake Factory. I feel like if you had gone to a barbecue that rained, and then you went to Chipotle and you got food poisoning, you're like, what worse could happen to me? Let's go to Cheesecake Factory. That's how that week ends. You don't start your week at Cheesecake Factory. That's just asking for trouble. Well, yeah. But sometimes you just want a spicy Chipotle chicken pasta.

I'm sorry, what? Spicy Chipotle chicken pasta. Oh, I thought you meant Chipotle as the actual restaurant served pasta. And I was like, what are you talking about? But then I realized spicy chicken Chipotle pasta is one of the many terrible things at Cheesecake Factory. I forgot its name. But it's great. I was like, wait, what is this place?

No, it's not. Nothing there is great. Well, it's pretty good. It's pretty good. And might be edible. It's pretty good. And you can eat it twice. Because they give you so much of it. By the way, I wanted to bring this up. And I know I tweeted it at you.

And it was that Australia calls Burger King Hungry Jacks. Yes, I saw. It blows my mind. It made me laugh much harder than it should have I don't know why I just for some reason like the idea That there is now A canonical world

Where there's the Burger King The Dairy Queen and the Hungry Jack And they all just live together And have wacky adventures There's so many Weird things in Australiaralia it just it the other thing there because i was like oh well what else do you call a thing they're like we call mcdonald's mackeys well uh here's the thing it's still called mcdonald's on the buildings but i did

see commercials on tv where i think they called it Mac-ers? Yeah, Mac-ers. That's the other one they said. They were like, stop on down to Mac-ers. And I was like, what? And it didn't say McDonald's. It still had the arches. But when you go to an actual restaurant, it still says McDonald's. But the commercial literally did not say McDonald's.

It was like, come on down to Mac-ers. And I was like, whoa. I don't get Australia. Don't get it. I loved it. Australia was so much fun. If I didn't have job responsibilities, I could see moving to Australia. Everyone there was real cool.

Yeah. I mean, it's like a weird southern England. That's what I've always said. It's more like America. England. That's what I've always said. It's more like America. Having been there, it's very much less like the UK and more

it has this young vibe to it, right? It has that it has a young vibe, but also has the vibe of they left us down here to our own devices and no one's telling us what to do. And no one really cares. And I think that's really fun. I don't know. I thought it was great. I'm sure there's telling us what to do, and no one really cares. And I think that's really fun. I don't know.

I thought it was great. I'm sure there's seedy sides to it that I was not experienced to in my two weeks there, which that's fine. I'm sure we'll hear about that. But I genuinely had a good time. It was like, I can live in Melbourne. That was a nice place. I just looked up 25 awesome Australian slang terms.

I don't know how awesome these are going to be. Okay, hit me. Hit me. All right. So another term for afternoon is Arvo. What? Yeah, Arvo. Why?

What is that? What? Arvo. Because there are pirates? Arvo. Arvo. Around. are pirates? Arvo. Arvo. Around, wait. Urban Dictionary.

One of the many words that Australians have cut syllables off and replaced with O. This one represents the hours after 12 p.m. and is used by people, myself included, who can't be bothered saying afternoon. Hey, Davo. I'm going to the servo for arvo smoko what whoa okay sure sure apparently a smoko is a slang term used on building sites in australia meaning a morning tea break or smoke break we We'll knock off at 11 for Smoko. Grab us some pies for Smoko. I love Australia, man. I love it. Give me some more. Alright, Barbie's BBQ.

That's like a bogan. That is a redneck uncultured person. Oh my god, I was told to watch out for bogans. They were like, watch out for Bogans. Damn. They were like, watch out for Bogans. They will give you crap. And I was like,

what do you mean? Have you seen any guys who look like rednecks? And I was like, oh, okay. Don't mess with that. Bogans are tough. And I was like, whoa, okay. A bottle-o. That's something a Bogan would use. A bottle shop. Liquor store something a bogan would use. A bottle shop.

Liquor store. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, that makes sense. Bogans at the bottle-o. Chalkers. Very full. Very full. Yeah, like chalk fool of something?

So it's chalkers? It's chalkers. I like that they've... Like, we shorten words, too. But they've just taken words that we felt no need to shorten and shortened them. Yeah. And made them sound crazy. Esky is cooler, insulated food and drink container.

Probably because there was a brand maybe. It's probably Eskimo, yeah. Yeah, Eskimo coolers and they called them Eskies. Probably. That makes sense. This one. Just like how in Ohio and Pennsylvania, everyone I knew, I'm sure someone will be like, we don't call it that. But for the most part, everyone I knew called vacuum cleaner sweepers just because sweeper was a brand. Yeah, it's like Kleenex.

Absolutely, yeah. Instead of tissues, Kleenex. I think an Esky is just they had Eskimo coolers. Yeah, okay. So they just added their own weird swang onto it. Little swang, little slip, slap, slop. A fair dinkum, which means true, real, genuine. It's a fair dinkum.

Yeah, okay. A grommet is a young surfer. A grommet? Oh, okay. Maybe not. Unless there's a Wallace and Grommit episode in which they surf like hell. Bloody hell, mate. Fucking Gromit.

All day, all day. That's my Australian. You know what? I'm susceptible. A mozzie is a mosquito. Oh, yeah. You don't want to say mosquito. Game, mozzies. No mozzies in my town. No mozzies. Oh, yeah. You don't want to say mosquito. Game, Mozies.

No Mozies in my town. No Mozies. Get them out. Get them out of here. A pash is a long, passionate kiss. Really? A kiss? A long, passionate kiss is a pash? Yeah, and a pash rash is red, irritated skin as a result of a heavy make session with someone with a beard. Oh

Oh my god. Yo, never mind Everyone out there if you want a pash rash you call me I will beard up your body the pash rash I'll give you that Damn right get that pash rash ripipper pash rash does not sound like anything you want no you do not want the pash rash you do not want the pash rash nobody wants that no no um a ripper is really great yep uh a roo is a kangaroo. Right. Root is sexual intercourse. I'm sorry, what? Root, like a root from a tree.

I don't know why. Why is that? This one can really get foreigners in trouble. There are numerous stories about Americans coming to Australia telling people how they love to root for their team. If you come to Australia, you would want to use the word barrack instead. On the same note, a wombat is someone who eats roots and leaves. What?

I don't understand. What if you want, like, root beer? Yeah, what are you saying? I don't know. Australian root. Root is an offensive Australian slang verb meaning have sexual intercourse with. I don't understand, though. I don't understand it either.

Like, how did that even become a thing? Like, just root? If you're rooted, you want to root? Root rocks. What? But it doesn't explain why that exists. Australians, why do you say root? Yeah, and don't just be like, that's how it is Like, it's gotta come from somewhere

Yeah, a Kiwi-Australian slang term Okay, I get it, but why? Yeah, why? What's the reference? Clearly it comes from either a reference or a story or a joke You know, it's like calling a toilet a john Like, there's clearly a meaning behind that, right? Yeah.

What the hell is the meaning behind root? I don't know. I have no clue. We have to learn. We have to learn this. Yeah. A servo is a gas station. Okay.

A service station. I get that. A sickie is a sick day. Go take a sickie. A slab is a 24- of beer a stubby holder a stubby holder it's a koozie or cooler okay because they're gonna call their beer a stubby yeah tradie is a tradesman i feel like all these just like like a like oh what's that is that a book i'm like no it's a bookie they just throw e on

the end of shit so i i did some research right uh about root trying to figure out what a root was okay and it is based off the term copper root still doesn't explain much to me yeah that's but but it also opened up the fact that a slag or slagger is a promiscuous person. And a wristie, and I quote, is the act of giving manual sex. Give him an old wristie. Give me an old wristie. Give him an old wristie. That's my favorite word.

A wristie. Give him the wristie. Give him the wristie. Jesus. Give him the resty Give him the resty Jesus Oh it's so dumb And then there's A ute Which is a utility vehicle They've taken things and just simplified them

Because we don't have time to actually Talk We've got beer to drink we don't have time to actually talk. Yeah. We've got beer to drink. We don't have time to talk. So that's like a tradie is a tradesman. Most of the tradies have nicknames, too, including Bricky, Trucky, Sparky, Garbo, and Chippy. Chippy, I get because you're serving chips.

Well, no. Chippy's a carpenter. What? Yeah. How is a Chippy a carpenter? Why isn't the chippy the guy serving the fish and chips?

Like wood chips, I guess. No! No! Then what do they call the guy serving the fish and chips? Like a fish-o? Or a fish-o.

That's a fish-o over there. That fish-o's serving the chippy. Can't get chippy from a fish-o. It'd be, give me a couple of stubbies. A slag. Give me a stubby. Give me a stubby, a slag

from the chippy. Just sounds like a 10 year old made a language. Me root over here. Give him an old wristie. It's not even an Australian accent. I don't know what voice that is. I don't know what that is. Give him an old wristie. That's my favorite an Australian accent. I don't know what voice that is. I don't know what that is. Give him an old wristie. That's my favorite phrase forever.

From now until the end of time, give him a wristie is my new thing. Give him a wristie. A ciggy is a cigarette. Chrissy is Christmas. A chalky bicky. I guess we shortened it to Xmas, so whatever. A chalky bicky is guess we shortened it to Xmas A chalky bicky is a chocolate biscuit Well hold on

Didn't they have a brekkie What was that brekkie wrap So brekkie is breakfast Yeah so brekkie Can't give him a handy Not a handy Can't give him a wristie for brekkie Go to Chippy Get a wristie for brekkie. Go to Chippy, get a wristy for brekkie.

And then have a ciggy. Yeah, and then have a ciggy afterwards. And a coldie on me. A stubby. Gotta have a stubby. A swag is a single bed you can roll up. A swag. Okay.

That's my, uh, that's all the Australian lingo. That's really all we need to know. Now I feel like we're all prepared. I think altogether, if we needed to become Australian, we could probably do it pretty easily. from research that a jolly swag man is a thing. A jolly swag man or swaggy or sundowner or tussucker was a transient laborer who traveled on foot from farm to farm carrying his belongings. I like that he's jolly. A jolly swag man.

Good for him. A jolly swag man. Yeah. He's a swag man. A jolly scat. Yeah. He's a swag man. A jolly scat man is a different type of guy. But yeah. Speaking of fun things to look up on the internet. Right.

I today found an article that I would like you to read. Okay. To the public. This is something I want you... This isn't our news for the day, but it is something I would rather... I want you to read this. Okay.

All right? This is an article about hamburgers and cheeseburgers. A guy named Phil Kadner wrote this. It's an opinion piece. I'm not going to spoil it for you. I just want you to read this. Ladies and gentlemen, i present to you wow crendor in say cheese not what i'm getting a hamburger perfect chicago sun times a hamburger does not have cheese a hamburger with cheese is called

a cheeseburger and you shouldn't have to pay for cheese if all you want is a hamburger. Two McDonald's customers in Florida have filed a $5 million lawsuit against McDonald's in federal court to make that opinion, and I applaud their courage. For at least 40 years, I've been doing battle with fast food clerks and restaurant waitresses over the difference between hamburgers and cheeseburgers because I do not like cheese on my hamburger. Wait, what? This is my favorite man on earth people who want cheese on their hamburger should be forced to say i want a cheeseburger i should not be required to say i want a hamburger no cheese or even answer a question such as do you want cheese on your hamburger no i say because if i wanted cheese i would have ordered a cheeseburger which is what you call a hamburger with cheese on he's got a point uh the semantic battle became outright war at a fast food franchise one day when i was charged for a cheeseburger after ordering a hamburger with no cheese. Yes, you have to pay for the cheese because our hamburgers come with cheese.

I was told by a clerk who was rendered speechless when I asked if she could give me money for a diamond ring she did not request and I planned never to give her. I slowly explained that I ordered a hamburger and now I was being told I had to pay for cheese that I was not getting. I'm sorry, sir, but you have to pay the same price because we sell hamburgers with cheese, the clerk said, patiently explaining that I would not get any cheese on my burger and completely misunderstanding the point I was trying to make. The majority of people I've spoken to about this seem to think it's perfectly acceptable to ruin a hamburger by putting cheese on it and think anyone who frets over the bastardization of the English language is simply

a troublemaker. Just order a hamburger with no cheese, they tell me. But the two people in Florida apparently side with me. They claim in their lawsuit that by forcing people to pay for cheese on their quarter pounders, even if they don't want cheese, McDonald's is engaging in an antitrust action called an unfair tying arrangement.

In other words, McDonald's is benefiting financially from cheese it does not deliver to customers. McDonald's told USA Today in a statement that the lawsuit is frivolous, has no merit, and the company expects it to be thrown out of court. Through the years, I have been charged for cheese I did not order on fish sandwiches, turkey sandwiches, salads. I could be a millionaire if I got all my money back for cheese I never received. Listen, I can almost understand the backwards logic. If a restaurant orders its frozen burgers with cheese from a corporate entity, cooks them early in the morning, and then drops them into some heated vat full of grease for hours, it would be difficult for employees to separate that melted cheese from the burgers employees

would have to put down their cell phones grab the burger patties pull off the cheese and go back to texting which would really mess up their smartphones but if the burger is made fresh daily it would seem to me that delivering a hamburger without cheese to customers would actually save the restaurant time and demonstrate some goodwill customers should not be forced to pay for something they do not want and did not order an american should never be forced to say they want a hamburger no cheese damn right damn right damn right and And just to hit home with this. Right. So you know who this man is who wrote this. This is the man.

He's an American hero, I think. That. Now that's a hero. If there is ever an old man who just was shaking his fist at someone, it's this guy. It is this guy. This guy's my hero. He literally is just like, oh, you damn kids. But look at this.

That's his Twitter avatar. Oh, that might be the image we use for this episode. Oh, my God. It's got to be. I love him. Dude, Jeff. It's so funny to me that his entire article is literally just like, I don't want cheese on my hamburger.

That's a cheeseburger. Hamburgers don't have cheese. He's like, Americans shouldn't settle for this. Like, whoa, dude. Okay. An entire article yeah and it's been passed around the internet like crazy today let's see there's twitter replies to him uh somebody said uh five million sounds about right sarcasm uh have you ever been given a burger with ham on it oh they're just trying to

give him shit the last i ordered yeah they're trying to give him shit last sport last burger i ordered from mcdonald's was missing the meat i feel like they're missing the point this delightful point yeah uh i just want to say for the record looking through some of phil cadner's other work here are some of his other headlines all right the same old flim flam game on school funding finding mr right in a crowd that looks all wrong take a deep breath and shout dilly dilly lol means land of lincoln is a joke. It stopped at 10.07.2016. Do you think he didn't exist before then? Maybe he refused to put his

pieces online before then. I believe that. Or he just didn't exist and he was given to us. By God for these amazing... He was born like Ivan Ooze in that Power Rangers movie. He was born like ivan ooze in that power rangers movie he's cracked out of an egg yeah he just popped right out

and they're just like what do you believe? And he's like, jamburgers, cheeseburgers. That was it. Yep. All right. Well, then, let's jump to chapter 7 of the Skylar Crandor. Crandor, how's the traffic out there? Hey there, folks. This traffic's getting kind of crazy because the summer breaks are hitting.

People are finishing school. Everyone wants to get out of wherever they are, and they want to go to wherever they aren't. They want to go to the beach. They want to go to the pool. They want to go to Europe. They want to go to America. They want to go to, I don't know, where else is there?

Asia, Japan. You know Japan's in Asia, right? Yes. Specifying. Please don't know my segment. Okay. Also, just take those side streets. A lot of people forget those are side streets, but there are potholes

on some of those, so be wary. But a lot of construction kicking in for the summer, so watch out for those construction routes as well. Luckily, we have the chapter captor. We just fly on by over those. Back to you in the studio. Thanks, Crandor. Speaking of fly, phenomenal segue, Jesse.

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E N D O R that's me on these slash Crandor that's perfect yeah also this week's episode is brought to you by four hymns a new wellness brand for men Like you

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Let's go over to sports. Wait, weather. Weather is the correct answer you were looking for. You're right. You're right. Weather. Hello. It is me, Wappy, at the weather desk you were looking for. You're right. You're right. Weather. Hello. It is me, Woppy, at the weather desk.

Yo, dude. I will be looking up a location to check its weather. T-A-L-A-B-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A A. A. A. A. A. A. Researching. R.

A. N. A. Rana. Center quest Burkina Faso. Whoa, Burkina Faso. That is okay. Rana. Burkina Faso. Whoa, Burkina Faso. That is okay. Rana, Burkina Faso.

86 degrees Fahrenheit. Feels like 91 degrees Fahrenheit. High, low, 81 degrees Fahrenheit. UV index zero. Next 36 hours, 81 degrees Fahrenheit. 10% chance rain Friday. 81 degrees Fahrenheit, 10% chance rain. Friday, 100 degrees Fahrenheit, 50% chance rain. Friday night, 80 degrees Fahrenheit, 10% chance rain.

Saturday, 101, 10% chance rain. Rain. South, 7 miles per hour wind 59 humidity sunrise 5 42 a.m sunset 6 30 p.m thanks wap rain where is burkina faso look it up learn yourself something i feel like you don't even know i definitely do but where is i tell you you won't learn well i know where it is now because i've seen it on the map uh-huh where you think tell everyone what my i want you to say i want you to say it it's in africa it's it's it's it's in west africa it's not that hard i can't tell you exactly where it's at but i know it's

next to ghana how do you know that? Because I was a history teacher. I don't know what else is around it. What do you mean? I know plenty of history. I just don't know specifics, but I know geography. Alright, where's Pavlodar? Pavlodar? Yeah. That sounds like you made a place up. I didn't.

Pavlodar? I don't know what that is. Pavlodar? Where is Pavlodar? It don't know what that is. Pavlodar? Where is Pavlodar? It's right above Kazakhstan. What? Where's Erdanet? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah.

You can't just say Pavlodar is right above Kazakhstan. Yeah. There's Kazakhstan. I don't know where Pavlodar is. Pavlodar is a city in northeastern Kazakhstan How would I know about Pavlodar? That's what I'm saying Yeah, but I wouldn't I know countries

I don't know tiny cities in countries that I don't know much about Yeah, but that's like Burkina Faso is like I don't even know is a country. That's a country. Well, that's on you. That's not on me. I couldn't tell you what the capital Burkina Faso is.

I don't know that but I know where the actual place is. All right. Well, what about Cameroon? Cameroon is in Africa. What about? Okay. Okay. What about? uh cameroon is in africa what about okay okay uh what about uh the equatorial guinea guinea equatorial guinea is also in africa all right it is in fact right next to cameroon all right all right How about. All right.

Hold on. How about. Mashad. Mashad. Yeah. Mashad. Oh, you might have gotten me. Mashad.

I don't. I don't know what that is. I've never heard that before. I don't know what Mashad is. That's a city. See. I was like, I've never heard that before. I don't know what Mashad is. Oh, that's a city. See? I was like, I've never heard of Mashad before. What about Laos?

Laos? Yeah, Laos. Laos? Yeah. Crandor. No. You can't just say Laos. It's right next to Hanoi. It's next to Hanoi in Vietnam.

It's in South Asia. South East Asia, I guess. There's a place called Myanmar? Yeah, but it's also known as Burma. What? Yeah, there's a lot of controversy and trouble there right now. Oh, I'm glad I'm not there. Jesus Christ.

Wow. Yeah. I'm glad I'm not there. Jesus Christ. Wow. Yeah. Listen, I don't know that much about things that aren't America or Europe. I can tell.

I didn't even know. I was surprised you didn't go with the classics like Kyrgyzstan or Tajikistan, like places that, you know, don't sound real but totally are. That's, uh, dude, did you, okay, so, like, up until all the Korea stuff happened, I thought Korea was an island. No! No! God, no, you're probably thinking of Taiwan. I think a lot of people mistake the two. I think I was korea and taiwan because korea and taiwan are all involved

in china and all the geopolitical stuff there but yeah no uh north korea and south korea are like hanging off the edge of northern china yeah that's crazy yeah i didn't know that until a few years ago and i was like wow it's attached to china yeah that's why we have a stalemate is because we allied with south korea and we pushed north korea all the way up towards china and china was like what you're doing and they helped north korea push it down near seoul that's where the that's where the the sort of like treaty line is at the moment not treaty i guess the uh militarized zone or whatever you would call it. Yeah. Because the war technically isn't over. Yeah.

Shit, dude. Today, we've learned some history, and that's weather. Yeah, man. All right, let's go to sports. Speaking of sports, before we start with sports. Yes. Vegas, man, even though they lost yesterday. Right.

That first game. The intro to their first opening game was the craziest effing thing I've ever seen in my life. I know, right? It's like you're at Medieval Times or something. It was straight up Medieval Times. It was just like

they've struggled and fought and they defeated they had all the different teams and they're like smote by their sword like the golden knights and then literally their archers shooting shit and the gold knight's fighting guy and the ice cracks and a dude explodes and just like what is happening and the back was like it was nuts. And it went on for like 15 minutes.

I was like, only in Vegas would this fly. And for like Washington, like watch them play in Washington now. They'll be like, and here's the Capitals. And they'll be like, and they'll like walk out and then that's it. It's crazy. Yeah, it's incredible. Yeah, so speaking of hockey, it's tied 1-1 they're all tied up uh and so now it's a best of five to see who wins it i kind of want washington because they've they've gotten so close so many times and they've always been the like one seed for the past 10 years and they just lose just lose. And now they finally made it, and it would be very embarrassing to finally make it and lose to the expansion team of a ragtag group of guys thrown together.

I'm just fascinated by the fact that apparently there have been other teams that have gotten to the uh playoff or to the the finals but i don't know if they've won i don't know the history of that there's no expansion team like the team's first year that's ever won a championship ever okay yeah but i definitely know there have been a few who've gotten there yeah it's uh it's kind of crazy too because apparently a lot of people made bets at the start of the season where their odds were like 500 to 1. They're like, I'll put 10 bucks on it. They're like, I'll throw 100 bucks on that.

And now they would make an insane amount of money if they win. So a lot of Vegas gambling people are freaking out because they don't want to pay up an insane amount of money if people win here. I'm ready. I think they can do it, but I don't know that they deserve it, but I think they can do it. I agree. I think they can

do it. They're definitely good. If they keep having intros where it's like, this is all my go. Forged in the fires of Vegas. You're like, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, Bum, have a question and a problem okay question right why does everyone on the internet consistently shit talk lebron james then he destroys everyone then they all are like why is everyone shit talking lebron james you knew it was gonna happen the man's a god he can do anything and you're just like but you all said that you like you were the ones shit talking him

yeah well you were the ones who were making fun of lebron saying he was old but he's still just as good that's on you there's the thing with lebron lebron came into the league they're like he's the next like ultra mega star and then he goes to cleveland whatever and then he couldn't win he would always get there or get close and then he wouldn't win. But then he went to Miami and I think that made a lot of people be like, I hate LeBron. He left his team,

goes form super team with his friends. And then he won there and then he goes back to Cleveland and then they're like, hey, we forgive him. And then he wins one there. He literally has carried the team uh doing that but I think a lot of people just hate him

for the like leaving his team thing and going and then coming back but I mean I don't really care I'm just yeah I think it's one of those things where he's he's good I feel like he squandered the goodwill when he did that when he he left and and made his super team and then

but I feel like When he did that, when he left And made his super team But I feel like The difference between him and someone like Jordan For example Is LeBron's amazing But he does whatever he wants And Jordan was amazing And sort of like

Was a champion of the people as well And so that's why people can tolerate him winning Over and over and over again LeBron, it's the point people as well. Yeah. And so that's why people can tolerate him winning over and over and over again. LeBron, it's the point where people are like, again with this? Yeah. And I think that's my big problem is people are just like done with it. Plus, Michael Jordan never lost a championship. He won every one he was in.

Hasn't LeBron won the last or been at the last 11 or something crazy? He's been to the finals 8 straight times. Jesus. He's won 3 of them. 2 with Miami, 1 with Cleveland. So it's 3 of them. Unless I'm missing one.

But yeah. Michael Jordan went to 6. Won all 6. Can't compete with that. That's a Michael Jordan went to six, won all six. Can't compete with that. That's a Michael Jordan wizard right there. And he globalized the game. He globalized it. Yeah, man.

Look, I get it. I agree. So, yeah, that's happened. And then Golden State. Golden State's really good. But I liked them until they got Kevin Durant. Because it was another one of those things where he was with his team in oklahoma city and it's like damn oklahoma city versus uh golden

state and houston they're all there like it's gonna be crazy then he's like i'm gonna go join the good team and it's like it's like you're playing a game with your friends you know and you got you know big time bobby on your team he's like one of the best kids on the playground. And then he just goes to the other team. And he just shits on everybody else. And you're like, this isn't fair. This isn't fun. But he's allowed to do it.

So he did it. Very dumb. I'm not a fan of the super teams. Yeah, and that's the problem I was going to get to, is that I feel like it does a disservice. I've always felt this way about any competition. It does a disservice

to the sport when it's the same two every single time. Yeah, it just gets boring. That's why a lot of people won. If you're a fan of those teams, you're like, oh yeah, the the rivalry we're back but everyone else could care less it's like the Patriots

it's like I get it they're good Tom Brady's good but I just don't want to see them there and then I tweet that and the guy from New England is like yeah he looks like a little jealous there yeah it's like it's not about jealousy it literally is like I'm so glad that he's talented

And good as a player But it's not Fun for the vast majority Of the country to watch I'm glad you as a fan Have a good moment for yourself But for everyone else it's like okay Because there's nothing new

You know who to expect And the guy it's Dark Knight man you live long who to expect and that the guy it's it's dark night man you live long enough to see yourself become the villain yeah that's why a lot of people wanted houston they wanted boston and then they're like oh two game sevens one of them's got to win then they just lost yeah yeah so what are you gonna do what are you gonna? Football is in training camp. Baseball, again, still going on. It'll be going on for months, and then it matters. Let's see.

Is there anything else? NASCAR, I don't care. Golf. I mean, oh, the World Cup's going to start soon. That's true. It's very important to the rest of the world. Not really us. The rest of the world is super in. How did we. It's very important to the rest of the world. Not really us. The rest of the world is super in.

How did we not make it in? I still don't get it. Because we're America. June 14th is when it starts. Yeah, but you'd think you'd find at least a few good people at soccer in America. There's going to be some people being like, because you call it soccer and not football you are not allowed in i mean i i'm okay with that being a reason they're probably right i mean

we never really do well but it's fun to just you know see it happening yeah i'm not gonna go around the world and ask you know people in spain to come play football here like american football that'd be crazy yeah so yeah i'm not i'm fine i'm okay yeah um but that's sports all right what is our big news story of the day big news story of the day um it's just a weird way the big news story of the day that was my way of kind of delaying it a bit to see that one article i'm aware of what it was there we got we got it uh police clearwater man caught masturbating tells officers he's captain kirk it could be possible it could it could be possible clearwater florida police say man

caught masturbating at a clearwater bus stop told them he was Captain Kirk. At a bus stop? At a bus stop. You know what? This reminds me of that episode where Kirk goes back in time and has to masturbate in order to save the whales. I think that's what that movie was about. That's probably what's happening here. Yeah, he's like, I gotta save the whales. He's like, I gotta give the whales a wristy.

I gotta give those whales a wristy. He's trying to do us a service and we're stopping him. Clearwater police were called to a bus stop on Gulf to Bay Boulevard around 1120 a.m. for a report of lewd and lascivious act. Responding officers say they found a man sitting on a bench touching himself under his shorts. In an arrest report, police noted it was obvious what he was doing when officers asked what he was doing the man told them i'm scratching myself after the man was arrested for disorderly conduct the arrest report states the man told police his name was james tiberius kirk the full name of the fictional character captain kirk from star trek police say they later discovered the man's

real name as James Bundrick. The 56-year-old is now also facing a charge for providing a false name to identity law enforcement. I still don't believe it wasn't Captain Kirk. It had to have been. It had to have been Captain Kirk. Because he was classy

enough to keep it in his pants. Yeah. Yeah, he didn't whip it out. He might have just been Captain Kirk. Because he was classy enough to keep it in his pants. Yeah. Yeah, he didn't whip it out. He might have just been scratching himself. Yeah, that is Starfleet protocol right there. Maybe you just had a large dong, so it looked like it was... A magnum condom for his magnum dong. You don't know? Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know. What the shit? i don't know what the shit okay i found another one okay florida man claims mcdonald's employee spiked his drink with detergent pod whoa his coke erupted like a volcano a man in florida was treated for bleach and chlorine poisoning after finding what appeared to be a detergent pod at the bottom of his mcdonald's What? Graves posted about his experience in a now viral Facebook post explaining that his drink erupted like a volcano in his truck, so he took several large gulps to stop the coke from foaming. It tasted like chlorine. I thought my taste buds were off since I've had a bunch of dental work done this week,

but when I took the lid off, I saw a big clump of blue goo. Graves shared photos of his drink with the blue goo, what looks like a possible detergent pot at the bottom of the empty McDonald's cup And IV tubes in his arm at the hospital Following the incident That's it Oh my god, I don't have to worry about people at McDonald's Poisoning me

That food's already gonna kill you It's already poisoning you McDonald's employees should just be informed That they're already poisoning their customers They don't need to do it anymore. Oh my God, the cherry on top article. Largo couple steals motorized shopping cart from Walmart, drives to bar. A joyride in a motorized shopping cart landed a Largo couple behind bars. Security cameras were rolling when Jeffrey Robert Sabiel, 50, and Santa Marie Walters, 32,

stole a motorized shopping cart from a Walmart location on Missouri Avenue in Largo. The couple was seen driving off the property and heading west on Rosary Road. News Channel has not obtained the video. Shortly after the theft was reported, the cart was spotted outside Jimmy's Sports Bar in Largo, and an officer found the couple at the bar. After denying the theft, the couple admitted to taking the cart and was arrested on charges of grand theft. Now, here's the thing. Yeah.

Why? Why did they choose to take a motorized shopping cart? Like, were they like, hey, we can't afford our car. We'll just get one of them Walmart cars. I feel like, yeah, is the answer. They probably were just like, we need to get to Jimmy's. It's happy hour. He's like, that's on the other side of town.

I ain't going to walk that far. She's like, well, let's take this cart. And he's like, all right, baby, hop on my lap. And they rode together off into the sunset. I think it's beautiful. car and he's like all right baby hop on my lap and they rode together off into the sunset i think it's beautiful i think it's beautiful too really uh the only other beautiful thing about it is she's 32 and looks like she's 70 yeah well that's how that 50 year old man got that's how they ended up together yeah that is a definite methamphetamine meth was definitely involved in that story definitely involved um and that's the news all right well that's it for us thank you so much for listening or watching or whatever you're doing and uh we'll be back with another episode soon crendor hit with all the links. You got so many links you can check out.

YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast. That's where all the podcasts go up. Yeah, YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor. That's where the animations go up. Got SoundCloud.com slash Cox and Crendor. That's probably where you're listening to this, but if not, you can go to YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast. You got them all up on YouTube.

Also, you can go to Soundwave, SoundCloud, Apple, iTunes, Apple. Call Soundwave, the transformer. Call Soundwave. Soundcloud, Apple, iTunes Apple. Call Soundwave, the transformer. Call Soundwave. Call Captain Kirk. Let him beam down his audio. Give me a wristy. You can follow us on Twitter, twitter.com slash Crenner, twitter.com slash Jesse Cox. You got so many links to check out.

Check them all out. Watch our things, please. We need money. Also, thanks for watching all right well as we say as always to be continued