Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 163 - Monkey'n Around

Episode Date: September 10, 2018

It's that time again to wake yourself up with all the news you can use! And by news, we mean stuff we did during the week and remembered to talk about! Crendor, has a lot of that! Meanwhile Jesse is once again drawn in by the sexy sexy world of Are you the One. Also monkey Mondays are canceled and the boys ARE OUTRAGED! All this and more in the newest Cox n' Crendor! Try Ship Station free for 30 days at http://shipstation.com and use promo code: COX

Today's episode is brought to you by ShipStation. Whether you need to ship stuff for your business, or just cause you like to ship things to your friends, ShipStation is the place to do it. ShipStation.com, I'm telling you right now, it'll make it so much easier when you're using Shopify, Squarespace, Etsy, eBay, BigCommerce, all those different places. We're going to talk about it later, but first let's jump into the podcast. Let's go. Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trending.

This is Trending in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-hour recording studios. Recording. Wake your ass up. It's the Cocks and Crendor in the morning. Cocks and Crendor in the morning.

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to another exciting episode of Cocks and Crendor in the morning. Has this show ever been exciting? Yes. The answer is yes, it has. I tricked you. What? I tricked you.

You thought I was going to say no. I said yes, it has. But I wouldn't have believed it. But you would have because you yes it has I tricked you You thought I was going to say no I said yes it has But I wouldn't have believed it But you would have because you said it has Yeah I was just trying to correct you before you made a terrible mistake Oh no this show is always exciting I don't know if anybody else has seen it This show is always the best show

Yeah this show is the best show honestly Even when I Can I tell you right now I'm on my desk I was like how do I prepare for this podcast I have a bottle of water Yeah, this show's the best show, honestly. Even when I... Can I tell you right now, I'm on my desk. I was like, how do I prepare for this podcast? I have a bottle of water, one cranberry-flavored Red Bull, and one coffee. Jug of vodka. No, not a jug of vodka.

And a jug of vodka. And a jug of vodka. I didn't know what I was going to get into today, so I have all these things here. And I'm ready to be caffeinated, but also over-caffeinated. So I don't know what's going to happen. Mamma mia. Yeah, I could be a mess. I got a half-eaten sub. That's pretty good.

And I've got a, yeah, from Subway, and I got a story about it already. So I'd like to get in that story. You might as well get it in, yeah. So I go to Subway, subway right it's a sunday like hey i gotta get something quick before we record this thing and uh i'm in line and this guy behind me is just like on the phone talking like whatever then another guy comes in behind him who looks like uh kind of looks like a meatball uh-huh or at least a former meatball and he's just staying in there like looking around then this business guy comes in in this like suit and tie and everything and the guy the meatball guy turns to him and he's like how do you even get out of this place the parking lot yeah like

can you only make a right turn or something i can can't even get it. And the guy's like, yeah, it's a crazy parking lot. And he's like, yeah, crazy stuff. Then they paused for like 10 seconds. And he's like, I had to come to this subway because the other ones, I went to the one over there. It's closed. He's like, oh, man, that sucks. And he's like, yeah, I Like to come to Subway's on Sunday Because uh you know it's just quickies

Yeah the one there's another one over There they're everywhere at this point And the guy's just like yep they are I Love my favorite people in the world are The people who feel like they're having A conversation with you but don't Understand that you don't want to have a Conversation yeah they just more like They're having a conversation with you But don't understand that you don't want to have a conversation

Yeah It's more like they're talking to themselves Yeah they're just like talking to talk Because they're just like Maybe someone will listen to me But just keep talking to them That's like oh my god That just sent me like war flashbacks

So when I got my gallbladder out Wait war what? War flashbacks? I mean back to when I got my gallbladder out what war flashbacks i mean back to when i got my gallbladder oh the war the great gallbladder war of course the great gallbladder so i was at the grocery store because i was like all right i can go in public again i don't not dying with an open go in public anymore oh go places i thought you meant to the bathroom in public i was like uh what no no no so i was like all, I can actually go out in public again. So there's the one woman there.

She's like buying a bunch of shit. And then she's like, oh, you got that wrap around you. And I was like, yeah, I got my gallbladder out. And she's like, I got it out too. And then the lady at the register is like, I got it out when I was 16 and I'm 60. Let me tell you, stomach's never been the same and i was like oh that's great glad to hear that right after i got it out and then this woman was buying truckloads of waffles so many blueberry waffles and she's like my son's like you he's skinny

but he's really tall and skinny and the only thing he'll eat are these waffles and i was like must be some good waffles and she's like ah he loves them he loves these waffles sounds like that's cool here's the thing i bought some of those waffles they're pretty good for about a week and then i didn't want any Well, maybe he doesn't eat them every day. Maybe she buys that many. He does. He does? She said that's all he eats. Well, maybe she's being facetious.

No. I don't think so. She seemed like he won't eat anything else. He just only eats these waffles. She was pretty serious about him only eating the waffles. See, I hoped that the story was going to be the changes that happened to her stomach was that she could only eat waffles now, and that's what's going to happen to you, which would be amazing.

Instead, now I have to wrap my mind around the fact that this kid only eats waffles. However, there's a kid in this office, Bradley, who will only eat, like, hamburgers that are just meat and bread or if he eats chicken, it's like – chicken nuggets are like 99% of his meals. Right. And he is super thin, like disturbingly thin. And so my question is, is that like a thin person thing? I don't know. I mean – You can't say you're thin now.

You're buff now. You're buffed already. That's true. I am buffed right now. You don't know what it's like to be a little tiny skinny kid anymore. You don't know. You don't know that. You can't relate to're thin now. You're buff now. You're buffed. That's true. I am buff. You don't know what it's like to be a little tiny skinny kid anymore. You don't know. You don't know that. You can't relate to these people anymore.

Yeah. I can lift grocery bags now. All right. I almost choked on my coffee. I should have taken a drink. I almost spit coffee everywhere. I mean, Gmart eats pretty plain. He's a big boy.

Yeah, but like, what does he eat that's plain Uh hamburgers Chicken nuggets Uh pizza Well I guess uh I mean But how much maybe it's a quantity thing Maybe it is a quantity thing I don't know I don't watch him eat

Maybe he eats waffles every day But he eats One waffle for breakfast one waffle for Lunch and one waffle for lunch, and one waffle for dinner. In which case, that's like 900 calories that dude's eating. That's essentially what I would do. I'd be like, I'm eating so much today. And really, I would eat hardly anything when I added it all up. I'd have one big meal.

God, that must be the worst for you. That must suck. The thing was, I'd feel fine. I'd feel content. I'd have my Chipotle, which, that must be like the worst for you. That must suck. The thing was, I'd feel fine. I'd feel content. Like I'd have my Chipotle, which is like a thousand calories or whatever. And I was like, oh my God. And then I just wouldn't eat anything the rest of the day. But then overall, I ate a thousand calories that day.

And I was like, oh, I need to eat more. Yeah, I don't have that problem. Today, I went out on like a little like lunch date. Went and got ramen. That was great. And then afterwards, went and bought this that was great and then afterwards went and bought this coffee and this red bull and this water and later i'm gonna let you know probably gonna get dinner and it's probably gonna be like a thousand calorie dinner i'm not it's literally now that you

said chipotle i'm like man chipotle would be fucking delicious how did the creme diet go are you officially done uh no, I'm not done. I've modified it heavily. Like the other night, I made chili. Well, I didn't make chili. Chili was made for me. It pays. It pays to, you know, hit on a cook every now and again.

Oh, this coffee is good. But it's like this coffee, by the way, is like a Sumerian blend. Sumerian? Yes, it's an ancient Sumerian blend. I've probably had that. Yeah, you know, it's a very Sumerian Babylonian coffee that I'm drinking right now. Whenever I go to Starbucks, some of the Starbucks have fancy coffees, and I always try them. So I'm like, give me one peru chantali or one

like hawaiian balagao and the one time the guy was like it's peru chantali and i was like that's cool i'll have that one yeah okay yeah all right all right there uh the other speaking of coffee the other day um i went to a uh oh my god what was this place it was i was driving into Stream in the morning, and there was this place, I keep seeing along the way. I didn't want to stop at Starbucks, because Starbucks is always packed. But I get to this place, and it's called Etiquette, or some bullshit like that. And it's just like a coffee place, it's a very chill coffee joint. And there's one barista behind the bar, and there's a line of about three people. I'm like, oh, this is much faster than Starbucks.

This girl gets up and just leaves. And I'm standing there and just waiting and waiting. And I don't know if she had to go to the bathroom or what, but I had the epiphany that, sure, there's a line at Starbucks. There's like 12 million people behind that counter, and eventually you get served. Here I was waiting, and the girl hadn't even taken my order yet, and it had been 15 minutes. And I was like, I'm leaving. I just left. I'm so over it.

Yeah. You can do the math there. You got a team of people back there working versus, I don't know, one person being like, I'll make everything extra special. It takes like 10 years. Yeah, and even though those always taste better, right? Yeah. And sometimes at Starbucks you get coffee that you're like Oh this is burnt as shit

That's been in the thing for like 10 hours Yeah with that said With that said I still would rather go to Starbucks I may be the most basic Bitch person on planet earth But I'd rather go to Starbucks and get a coffee In minutes than wait 20 For you to like make a foam Caricature on top of my coffee basic bitch person on planet earth but i'd rather go to starbucks and get a coffee in minutes then

wait 20 for you to like make a foam caricature on top of my coffee i gotta drink that shit i don't care yeah it's like now sometimes you just you just want that caffeine yeah so that's yeah i've been i've been i've been eating very very well i was told the other day like oh you look so good and i was like that's a relative statement. Let's be real. That's a relative. Compared to what exactly? But, yeah, Crendide is going well.

I'm excited to see Buffdor at PAX. PAX? No, BlizzCon. BlizzCon. My brain is fried. My brain is fried because I stayed up all night Finishing up the first few episodes

Of Are You The One Oh yeah, I watched the first two Um Episode I just want to, oh my god Episode 5, get to episode 5 Episode 5 You know how in the past they had like The X's come on for like 5 minutes, right? Episode 5. Get to Episode 5. All right. Episode 5. You know how in the past they had, like, the exes come on for, like, five minutes, right?

Episode 5 is literally the exes stay for an entire day. And it is fucking insane. I've never seen anything like it. I wanted to run down the show because we need to talk about it. We need to talk about this show. Oh, wait. Hold on. I wrote down notes first Before we get into this

I pulled up a webpage Of every person So I could like Remember who's who So we could rattle through this Because this show Has gone Before we get to your notes

Can I ask you a question Because I had this epiphany I was watching it with other people And it washed over me Like a wave That Season 6 For as dumb and beautiful

As they were Right They were dumb And beautiful And funny And some of them Were really endearing And charming

Right Season 7 Is 99% assholes Yes I I Very much noticed that I

There's maybe One or two people That I'm like Alright that's a cool person one or two people that I'm like, all right, that's a cool person. I relate to them. I think they're cool. Most of them are like, fuck this person. What a mess.

Yeah. I really have issues with a vast majority of the people on this season. No doubt. I very much agree. Unless they come around and they have some moments later. I mean, right now I'm like, wow, these kids are pieces of shit. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I hear you. There's one guy, though, that I really love, and he's just like the biggest goofball, but we'll get to him. He's my favorite on the show. Well, what I wanted to say was my notes aren't actually about the show. They're just notes I wrote down about stuff

that happened to me that I've seen. What? Wait, what? Wait, so they're not about the show? That's why I wanted to talk about it first, before we get into the show. Oh, what? I thought you had notes about the show. Okay. No, that's what I was saying.

All right, no, please. Hit me with your notes. These are important notes as well, all right? Of course, of course. First off, I saw a woman, okay? It was about, I'd say like 9 p.m. at night. Go to the grocery store. There's these two people that walk out It was like a married couple that were probably like

20 21 The girl was walking out of the store Holding a carton of milk And just drinking it Out of the carton In the parking lot Girl needed that milk

That girl is basically every old Like an old man spirit inside a woman's body. Like a 55-year-old man trapped in like a 20-year-old. But why milk is my question. Because she, it does a body good. It does a body good. Listen, as much as it does a body good, I've never seen somebody chugging milk in a parking lot. I like that.

That's a note you wrote down. Like, hold on, hold on. I need to write this shit down. But you act like it's normal. Like, oh yeah, milk chugging, milk chugging girl in the parking lot. That's what I wrote down. That's not normal. It could be.

That doesn't happen. I've never seen it. I've seen that crazy woman wearing like Native American stuff that almost hit us in the parking lot i've seen crazy old people with shopping carts like trying to run you over in a parking lot but i've never seen a woman chugging milk in a parking lot and that's why i wrote it down then uh oh my god i was watching the couponing show on tlc and i don't even know if that's allowed anymore do they still have extreme couponing show on TLC and I don't even know if that's allowed anymore they still have extreme couponing I never extreme coupon so I don't know when that stopped or started or if it's still going hold on I actually need to find

this out extreme because I swear to God this this show... Wait, first episode was 2011. And it looks like it ended in 2012. Wait, no, 35 more. Never mind. It's 2016. Oh, it looks like it's... Wait, is it still going? What do you mean? Just like the concept of couponing?

Well... Oh, wait, I think the show is over. But I think Extreme Coupon still exists. Eight Secrets of Extreme Coupon. I always said coupon, but people say it's coupon. I mean, it could be whatever you want, honestly. That's like a vase vase thing. Yeah, there's an article.

They're like eight secrets of extreme couponing. Combined coupons and offers. Check to see if stores accept. That there like eight secrets of extreme couponing combined coupons and offers check to see if stores accept Good size. It is like a lot of work. That's a lot of work. What's what I realized It's like they're like you know what I got I got 54 packs of like tide Detergent and I got the deal where I got 54 packs of KitKat bars with it It's like yeah, but I don't want KitKat bars Right, it's like, yeah, but I don't want Kit Kat bars. Right. It's the same thing that it's the concept of, oh, well, it's on sale, so I have to get it because it's cheaper.

Yeah. Do you have to get it? It's sick. Just because it's 75% off doesn't mean you need it. It's mind tricks. It's like it's a deal. And you're like, I got to get the deal. Yeah.

I don't want to be ripped off. I'll be a sucker if I don't buy it now but it's like I'd say need it the our demographic equivalent is kind of like the Steam sale where you see a game for like two dollars you're like I gotta buy it right $2 easy you're like okay but you're never gonna play it you have 80 games you haven't played yet I do I I've never played any of those games but one day I might open it and be like why did I buy this and then close it I went and looked at my notes I was. I've never played any of those games. But one day, I might open it and be like, why did I buy this? And then close it. I went and looked at my notes.

I was like, I wonder if I have any notes. Have I wrote anything down? I have one note from the last week, and I do not know what the hell it means. What's it say? It literally is just three words. It says, Sunny Mengdu. Sunny Mengdu. Sunny Mengdu. I don't know what that means.

Like a mango, but a mengdu? It says sunny, M-E-N-du, Sunny Mengdu. Sunny Mendu. I don't know what that means. Sunny Mendu. Sunny Mendu. That sounds like a sitcom. Sunny Mendu will be back after this commercial break. It's me, Sunny Mendu. That sounds like a sitcom. Sonny Mendu will be back after this commercial break.

It's me, Sonny Mendu again. That's so sad. I don't know when I wrote that. I don't know why I wrote that. I couldn't tell you why that was written. Maybe it's all typos and I was trying to write something else. I have no idea why that's there, but Sonny Mendu is there. I've had that happen a lot, actually.

I'll write down notes, and I'm like, what the shit's that mean? That's what I'm saying. Maybe I woke up from a dream, and I wrote that shit down. Maybe that's the answer to all of my problems in the world. Sonny Mengdu. But I don't know. I don't know what that means. I couldn't tell you.

So, yep, that's the notes I have. I also wrote down, what would happen if you smoked a Crendor weed? What is a Crenweed? I don't know. But what would happen if you smoked one? I imagine it would make you, like, really hyper. Because the whole point of weed stuff Is to make jokes and stuff

So a crud weed would be like That shit makes you lose your mind man That makes you see stars And feel like you can fly But it also makes you very anxious Oh yeah But it makes you really jittery Yeah

It makes you think the cops are always after you. Yeah, I'd smoke a crud weed. It makes you see police everywhere. Everyone becomes police. Just looking around. Oh, not again. Get out. They're going to get me.

It's like everybody's like, what's wrong with him? Exactly. Crud weed really messes you up. And it makes you slow like a sloth Yeah right You can't outrun the police you see You see them everywhere but you can't outrun them But you can fly It's like a wow mouth

You're not fast enough to outrun getting knocked off your mouth But if you could fly man You'd fly away uh all right well that's that's all my notes all right well now for what the people really want now for the end okay show all right so here's my are you the one season first can i say first episode they like throw you into it like remember the one we watched they're like hey everybody welcome are you the one this is a game here's the guys here's the girls and uh you know what do you guys like music and then it's like well you're gonna get paired up with the e-money they don't even they

don't even try to do games this time they're like random generation yeah punch a button and it randomly assigns people together but that was like the intro to the show right you're like oh i see all these people right and she's like i'm the crazy one i'm the this one and then they show them in the house but in this one they're just in the house yeah and they're just like whoa and i'm like wait who are these people yeah i feel like so we should definitely go back through now that we know these people right We should go back through and talk about each one of them Okay So first off On the list that I have at least Is Andrew Couture

Which was that guy that we thought last time was going to be kind of douchey Yeah As far as I'm aware Andy is a sweetie pie Just like a little sweet cherub That has barely any screen time And has been very very nice And the one time That he went to go talk to one of the girls He like had a hard time Cherub that has barely any screen time and has been very, very nice. And the one time that he went to go talk to one of the girls, he had a hard time talking about how his feelings were.

He was like, yeah, I'm really shy. And I was like, get out of town, this guy. So I love him. He's like kind of a meathead looking dude, but he's a sweetheart. I love him to death. So I was like, all right. All right, dude. Next was Asia Woodley. Asia is pretty cool.

She's got, like, a head on her shoulders. But also, she fell for a dude who, like, had no interest in doing anything more than getting to know her And so He hooked up with some other girl She's the crazy one No she's not the crazy one Asia is The girl who like

Is friends with the really I don't want to say Dirty skanky girl but you know the dirty skanky girl You know who I mean She's friends with them And the one dude who's like the silliest guy in the house Who I absolutely love And so she kind of likes him

But Andrew Couture is kind of like trying to get with her But she's like She's just that girl who is very She is very chill And not trying to bone down with everyone She's trying to find her relationship But like be caught up in drama She's very chill and not trying to bone down with everyone. She's trying to find her relationship, but it gets her to be caught up in drama. She's all right.

Yeah. Then there is Brett Ferry. Brett's this dude who looks like he's kind of trying to be Macklemore, kind of. Yeah. And his storyline so far is just like he found a girl. They fell head over heels for each other They thought they were perfect They had one argument

And then it went to shit Like They had one argument She was like I promised myself I'd never find a guy Who would fight me again You're like

What the fuck is happening right now And then At One of the One of the I don't want to say councils Whatever the hell it is Or like

The ceremonies One of the councils They have like an It's so bizarre And I don't want to say councils, whatever the hell it is The ceremonies, one of the councils Um They have like an arc, it's so bizarre And he's definitely a character that barely Has any screen time and so Their relationship's like a weird one Uh, Bria

Bria's the one we all need to talk about Ah yes, Bria's the crazy one Yes, Bria shows up Moment one And it's like, look, i'm very controlling and i need to control relationships and i my heart was broken because i pushed this guy away because i was so controlling so i need to find i need to find a new thing for myself and moment one she meets zach zach is is a person who came off of apparently apparently, over the course of the show, we figured this out, came off of a terrible, terrible, terrible relationship.

And he was cheated on a bunch. And so I guess his life goal is to just take that out on every woman he can by cheating on them as much as possible. So Bria, this girl who controls dudes, falls in love with this guy who is at this house literally just to screw as many girls as possible. Yeah. And so, of course, moment one, he's going around trying to hook up with everyone. And she's, like, ready to kill people. She is constantly freaking out, ready to fight. But she hasn't ever fought anyone.

She's just, like, looking for attention and drama. And then over the course of all these, I don't know what episode. You up to the second episode? Yeah, I got to the second episode. Is that when they're like, we're done. We're not talking anymore. Yes. Is that what, is that, all right.

That's the one where they're in the booth and she's like, like banging out. Like, what the shit? Yes. Yeah, he went to the booth with, I think Morgan's The other girl's name Yeah He went to the booth with her And the two of them Are just talking

Because that's the only place They can talk in private Because Bria will like Interrupt them She is so possessive of Zach And so That's the only place They can talk in private

And so she goes And she's banging on the door Yeah that was amazing So anyway They stop talking They're like I don't want to talk to you anymore I'm done

We're done Zach is like Alright cool He goes around trying to hook up with different girls, which of course causes all these other girls. He hooks up with one girl. He's the worst player. It's obvious he's never been a player before

because he hooks up with one girl in front of another girl he's trying to bang. He is an idiot. And so all that's going on, I think it might be the third episode, maybe the fourth episode. Bria just grabs him and is like, excuse me, can I talk to you for a minute? He's like, me? Sure.

She takes him into the boom boom room and just fucks him. And then she's like, I still own him. And leaves. And you're just like, what the hell is happening right now? She literally just banged that dude just to be like, I control you still. Meanwhile, Zach is like, got laid again, wink. He keeps doing this thing where he like winks at the camera and is just like, I'm amazing. I look so beautiful.

So like, of course, I don't want to bang me. He's such a, they're both assholes. They're both terrible people. I do not like them at all. And they make me angry to watch this show. I literally get angry whenever they're on the screen. I'm like, I hate these two. Yeah.

There's like so many dislikable people, like you said earlier. They're just, like, a lot of the people in the previous season, you at least could, like, sympathize with some of them a bit. But, like, this is, they just, I don't know. They must have really went for the drama angle in their casting this year. Yeah, it must be. So this girl, Callie, who's the next girl, she's the one who was getting with Brett. And the two, like, Callie's genuinely beautiful.

Like, she's a gorgeous woman. But she is, she's got all sorts of, like, emotional problems where someone in her life messed with her. So they have one argument, and she's drunk, right? So basically, the argument they have is because she was talking with Zach. And so Brett saw her talking with Zach. He was like, oh, fuck no. Don't talk to this dude. He's going to try and bang you, right?

Right. And she was so drunk that when they got in a fight, she kept calling him Zach. She's like, Zach, calm down. He's like, my name's not Zach. You're just thinking about him right now. She's like, no, she's so drunk. And so he's like, I don't want to talk to you anymore. I'm done.

He leaves. She then, when he's like, hey, I still think that you're my one and I want to sit with you. She's like, no, I promised myself I would never fight anymore. And you're bad for me. And it's like, what? But y'all were drunk idiots and you got in a fight over nothing why oh my god I hate

both of them meanwhile the one I thought I was gonna hate is one of my favorites Daniel is the guy who looks like he basically is is a boxer from Brooklyn who just looks like he's had his face bashed in a bunch.

But he's like ridiculous. Yes. But he's ridiculously funny and so stupid. And the very first episode, he's like kissing every girl in the house. And every girl in the house kisses him. They're like, okay. And he's like, blah. And then at the end, he's like, look, that's how I express myself.

I just want to kiss you so I feel like we can be closer. And that's it. I'm not trying to bone down. And I was like, well, I feel like this guy's lying. But he was totally telling the truth. He is 100% that guy. He was just like, yeah, you know, that's who I am. And then he found a girl and he's really happy.

And you're just like, what? I love this dude. He's such a goober. Yeah, he was great. Let's see. Jasmine Rodriguez. Jasmine, I can't remember what the hell she did. Jasmine is one of those

girls who's like, oh, I think she's like perpetually second string girl or whatever the hell they said about her. She's that girl who's trying to get with a dude who's like with another girl whose girl is like Nasty but we'll get to them Prime drama Yeah she'll eventually be a problem later on

I'm sure which will be great Quasi barely in the show But when he's there he is like Hilarious he doesn't do anything But he's that guy who's like super egotistical He's like y'all is idiots y'all dumb And I'm like I like this guy he's great Well that's why they got him there they know he doesn't have a drama

So they're like eh just throw him in every Once in a while just be like man you guys Are dumb Yeah there was a After one of their ceremonies They all get in like a group Huddle and they have an argument and this one girl Who I'm sure we'll get to here in a minute

Is like Talking about how they need to switch up the game they change things this guy just calls right it's like look you've said to all of our faces we ain't shit and you aren't trying to get with us so if you aren't trying to get with any of us she's like no no it's because none of you're trying to get with me it's like i'll get with you right now it was amazing it's so there's so good It's such a good show Kayla Is this like Really cute Asian girl And my favorite part Kayla moment one

I think it might have been the first or second episode When she meets her guy And he's like this very tall dude From West Virginia And he's like yo um you know I'm really religious and she's like oh oh my god, I'm religious too! He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, I like to believe in Jesus and Donald Trump.

And there's like a cut in the music, and he just looks at him and is like, what? But they're making it work somehow, and I love that. Meanwhile, everyone else in the house, the one dude has a shirt that says like everybody versus Trump on it. Like, everyone in the house is like, mm-mm, I ain't fucking fucking with you But it's so funny

There's a moment with them later that I won't spoil Anyway, Louis Belt is my hero Louis Belt, 23 from Oakland, California He has a shirt most of the time on That says Okonda And he's the biggest goober I love him I love him so damn much

Oh, he says he's a budding Stand-up comedian He is the biggest goober in the history. I love him. I love him so damn much. Oh, he says he's a budding stand-up comedian. There we go. That explains that. Yeah, this is the guy we were talking about. The stand-up comic. He's e-money. He is better than that because he's everyone's friend.

He's involved with everything. Everyone is like, oh, you're too immature for me. But still, that one ratchety girl grabbed his ass, took him in the boomer room, gave him a BJ just cause. And he, like, videoed somebody because he's like, oh, you nasty. Like, the sound effects. The sound effects. He's like, what are we doing? She's like, getting on, like, her hands and knees.

He's like, oh, you nasty. Oh, my God. It was amazing. It was so F'ing funny You nice I love this dude Every conversation he's in

Every time Bria goes nuts He's like what are you doing He's looking at everyone in the house like they're crazy He is literally the voice of the people this season He's so F'ing funny My favorite person on this show I was about to say my favorite character But my favorite person on this show

Yeah my favorite person hands down Um Kenya Scott 22 from Queens Um She is The most ratchet person on this show Hands down

Hands down In the history ratchet person on this show, hands down. Oh, yeah. Hands down. No doubt. In the history of me watching this show, she is – where do I even start? Day one, she finds the dude who, like, is the tall, handsome, dreaded guy, and she goes up to him and is all, like, on his shit, talking about how she wants to be with him, how she likes him, and they're like, oh, my God.

Okay, maybe this is a thing. And the more you find out, she's like, kiss some shit, talking about how she wants to be with him, how she likes him, and they're like, oh my god, okay, maybe this is a thing. And the more you find out, she's like, kissing some other dudes, takes, uh, uh, Louis into the bedroom and, like, gives him a quickie, like, do all this stuff. Meanwhile, the guy she's with is, like, real chill, because, like, look, we're just gonna know each other, so, like, you do what you wanna do, everything's fine. She's like, that's why I fucks with you, I love you, right? Yeah. Meanwhile, she's causing all this other drama

Eventually her ex shows up, Crandor And the ex looks exactly like the guy She's trying to get with now And she's talking about how she wants to go back and be with him Because she loves him so much And this dude, this dude is just like Why am I Why am I here?

What is the point? What the hell is this kid's name? Tevin He looks exactly like's name? Tevin. Tevin. He looks exactly like Tevin. Tevin the guy with the dreads. And he's like, what am I doing here? Like, this girl, all these other girls are trying to get with me, but, like, this is, it's ridiculous.

It was so funny. This girl is, every time she's, like, trying to bang some dude, you're just like, calm down, Kenya. Damn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah I got issues with Kenya Uh Mo I haven't seen him once Mo I don't

Don't think I've seen him Mo has been in like Three scenes in five episodes You can tell the people Are just kind of like Normal There was There was uh

One of the girls Um During one of the scenes Like people were like You gotta get to know everyone This girl's like How am I supposed to get to know Moe All he does is wake up, clean the house

And do chores That would be me Moe sounds like the most level headed motherfucker Out of all of you Moe's the one you should be getting to know Moe's the one doing One scene he's in One scene he's like teaching a girl how to box

And I'm like this guy is doing all Like he's the nicest guy here The rest of you are terrible people Lauren oh Lauren's this girl Who is like The token southern white girl And she is She's from West Virginia

Barely in this show Yeah I noticed through two episodes I was like wait isn't there Like the West Virginia girl And then they showed her like once And I was like oh there she is Yeah every single time that she's been on This season so far she's like oh y'all this is my shit

Like she does a whole thing like that And then immediately something terrible Like there's one scene where she's like oh y'all this is my shit Like she does a whole thing like that And then immediately something terrible Like there's one scene where she's like horseback riding Oh this is my jam this is what I do She immediately gets thrown off her horse Uh Shamoy is like a cool dude He looks very like super buff

And I think he's from the virgin islands Or something like that but he is Got like tattoos he basically Is like the rock and he's from the Virgin Islands Or something like that but he is Got like tattoos he basically Is like the rock and he's amazing looking And um I guess he's pretty cool he's barely In the show uh And then there's Maria

Who is this girl who Is uh Just like again another New Jersey Girl um Yeah I don't I don't know what the hell Just like, again, another New Jersey girl. Yeah, I don't know what the hell. She's in the show, but she's not drama. She's just around.

She's just in the show. That's the reason I've been like, with this season, I'm like, I feel like half these people aren't even in the show. That's because people like Bria. Bria is like two whole episodes in a row to her losing her mind. And Kenya. Kenya's like trying to bang everyone in the house. But she's like, it's crazy. She's just a crazy person. It's like you're trying to get to know somebody and they just keep being like, ah!

You're like, calm down. Kenya literally has a moment. So she's going around like banging everybody. But Tevin's just like, yo, it's cool. It's cool because like banging everybody but tevin's just like yo it's cool it's cool because like we're just gonna know each other and i don't you know i'm not who knows what i'm gonna be with you like but i think we're a perfect match and it's all like i think tevin's there just play but he like found a girl that he like is into yeah but he's like the chillest guy on planet earth and i don't think that's right for kenya but anyway the two of them are just like, yeah, no, we're cool.

We're like best friends and stuff. But we're going to be more. We're going to be more. Meanwhile, she's sleeping with like everyone else. And so then her ex shows up. And the two of them talk with Tevin. And he's like, so what's she like? Does she sleep around?

What was it like? And he's like, no. She was amazing to me. She was there for me all the time. And she's talking about like when they're in private how she wants to get back with them and how they're in love and tevin like has the epiphany like wait a minute if she's down with you she will be there for you all the time and she won't like cheat on you and she'll love you like until you die like that kind of shit yeah so what does that mean about me if she isn't willing to do that for me and i was like thank youvin, for having this epiphany, you dummy.

Oh, my God. It was amazing. Then, yeah, Tevin is just like, he's from Arizona, so he's probably high all the time. Why would I say that? He's from Arizona, so he's high all the time. That's my stereotype. Yeah. He's just like a really chill dude.

I guess that's like his thing. I guess because he's gorgeous, he can probably get anyone he wants. So he's like, whatever, man. I don't care. Yeah. Morgan. Yeah, Morgan's this girl who is currently trying to get with Zach. But I don't know.

She's in the show, but every time she's about to do something Bria shows up and it's like Bitch I'll kill you You're like whoa Yeah so Morgan can't do anything She's trying Thomas this guy Thomas Buenos the guy we were like Thomas Buenos I don't know

That he's ever been I don't Remember him as a character I remember him in like the first episode and that was it. I know he's in the show because I see him, but I don't know what he's done. Yeah. Then there's Nutsa, a.k.a. Nutsa, who looks, here's my problem with Nutsa. She is like a gnome female. Yes.

Oh my god. She is like a gnome female. Yes. Oh, my God. Nutza is this little tiny, I guess she's from like, I don't know. She's not from America. She probably lives in America now, but she's not originally from here. Yeah. And she is one of those people who, I guess because she's so quirky, I'm going to use that word,

Because she's so Quirky I'm gonna use that word Because she's so like Strange and quirky and sort of Not totally down With American culture she doesn't get it But she's trying her hardest The problem is that she She doesn't have any friends in the house

But she also wrote off every guy She doesn't like think any of them are worth her time But also it's because none of the guys were into her originally And so she's just Up in her own world And it's just like a bizarre weird girl But I think If she was just like alone with a person

Probably could be a sweetheart The problem is The one person she got alone with was Zach And Zach was like Yo what if we like made out now And I like let you lick me and stuff She's like, oh Zach, okay And then

Five minutes later, Zach's like hooking up with another girl And she's like, oh these boys are garbage It's like, yeah, they kind of are They kind of are Then Zach Jones Zach Jones is a 21 year old From Dallas Who literally on his Instagram

Bio wrote just a dude With a solid dad bod And edgy nose piercing That's what he says He is a piece of shit A genuine piece of shit There's a moment later where he has Like a revelation about himself

That hopefully in the future episodes leads To some growth but like The first five he is a Shitty shitty dude like Just not he treats Bria like garbage even though Bria's Crazy he treats her terribly he treats Every woman in the house like on to

The next one he is not a Good dude yeah Not at all yeah you eventually learn why but like that's no excuse yeah there's no excuse to be like a bad person yeah yeah watching him on screen i get very mad i'm like oh i hate this guy yeah he's uh really when it boils down to it it's like five people yeah yeah and then there's then there's Samantha McKinnon. Oh, Sam is the like... She's like Ashley Tisdale.

She's the girl who basically is like the perfect one for the big Brooklyn dude. Yeah. I'm convinced those two are a match. They have to. Because they're like perfect for each other. But other than that, she's very... she's one of those also level-headed people who they don't show much.

Like, this season is literally a large group of level-headed people that they don't ever show. And then five or six insane people that take up all the screen time. Yeah. All of it. It's, uh, that's why I was like, as I got through the first two episodes, I'm like, hey, maybe we'll get to see the other people at some point. But I guess not. You do, and I will say some like crazy, amazing stuff happens, but also some stuff that's just like, what? Like that scene, again, that scene where Bria out of nowhere grabs Zack and is like, can I talk to you?

I want to talk about, you know, us being friends again. And then like pulls his ass in the boomerang and bangs him and is like, can I talk to you? I want to talk about us being friends again. And then he pulls his ass in the boomerang and bangs him and is like, I own you. It's like, whoa! And Zach's like, I like crazy girls. What can I say? And it's like, shut up. You're the worst. You're all terrible people.

Oh, yeah. It is. I ain't got time for that. I ain't got time for that. Oh, man. Yeah. So that's what's happened so far In the first five episodes Yeah pretty much just like five people That are terrible and then a bunch of people

Being like man these people are terrible And then one of them just freaking out all the time I will say that the freak outs are amazing The freak outs are next level I've never seen anyone act There's one scene Might have been the second episode, where she's like literally being held by Asia, crying like, I want my mother! I want to go home!

You're like, girl, holy shit, have you never dealt with drama? Like, have you never dealt with problems before? Is this what you do? Just freak out? She is. I need to. The psychologist in me, by which I mean the pseudo-psychologist who doesn't really know a damn thing, needs to know what the hell happened to her. Because there's no way she can be this controlling and obsessive if like some like some really effed up shit had

to happen yeah or some guy really fucked with her or like something happened in her life where she lost control of something and now she's like completely like because she said her boyfriend of five years question mark is like a dude who she controlled and like managed everything of his and i'm like why is that your personality what happened to you before that to make you want to do that? Yeah. Because you clearly drove the guy away so why are you trying to do it with everyone else? I don't know. I don't even know.

I don't even know. I want to know why Tevin is so cool with the fact that like Zendaya or whatever the hell her damn name is, is going around like literally on a whim just took the one dude in the boomer room and was like, let's do it. And Tevin's like,

it's cool, whatever. And I'm like, no, Tevin, that's not cool. That's the opposite of cool. She's giving you zero respect. She does not respect you. It takes him five episodes, which I think during showtime is three, four weeks. It takes him that long to figure that shit out?

Like, Tevin, she don't respect you? Oh, yeah. That's my opinion so far. There's a lot of going on. Yeah. Well, speaking of something that won't make you go, but it'll make you go, oh!

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What you can do is you can go to ShipStation.com and try it free for 30 days. And you can experience the kind of, like, I have to ship a lot of stuff. I'm currently looking at boxes of pins that I'm shipping out to people, right? And we just had a whole problem with the USPS because they were like, well, a box, even though it's a pin and it's an envelope, actually it charges a box. I'm like, what? That doesn't make sense.

It's the exact same size. It's no different than a normal envelope. It's fine. They're like, yes, but it's a box. I'm like, what? Look at the size. I'm like, no, but it's a box. I'm like, that doesn't, what? Like, look at the size. I'm like, no, there's no difference. If I put a letter on there, it'd be the same size.

We're telling you, sir, ShipStation.com will not let that stuff happen. Thank God. You won't have to deal with that garbage. So, what you can do, go to ShipStation.com and click the microphone at the top of the page. Type in Cox Not only Do you get Free 30 days We'll throw in an additional month free

One additional month free Make it happen Go there ShipStation.com And again they have the best slogan in the damn business Make ship happen Make ship happen C-O-X best slogan in the damn business make ship happen make ship happen cox put cox to the thing do it now all right grendor let's go to job traffic out there is pretty great uh everybody's back in school back to work uh so i mean it is

backed up in the morning so i mean it is the morning right now but uh you know people are just you know you take the bus you do your thing so i mean it's just a constructed uh environment of cars obeying the traffic laws uh and i mean i'm not i'm just sitting here recording podcasts but you know i mean i, I'm in the chopper up in the sky, flying over everything, and great views, great views, back to you. You're ruining everyone's illusion, you're ruined. Hashtag ruined. No.

Yep, you ruined the immersion, everyone's out of it now. They don't even think this is a real podcast anymore. It's not. Are you even listening to us? Is this real? Am I real? Yeah, are you alone right now and just hearing our voices? Think about it. Think about our voices think about it think about it think about it i hope i'm real you and me both pal all right let's go over to the weather desk how's our weather uh weather today is looking uh wait what the shit? Florence targets East Coast.

Florence strengthens into Hurricane again. Oh, Florence. Florence the machine coming down strong. So, yeah, it looks like Florence could be hitting the Carolina area and a little bit north of there up that East Coast region. I'm not going to lie. I don't know much about the East Coast. Washington. You're closer than everyone else. I'm, up that east coast region. I'm not going to lie. I don't know much about the east coast. Washington.

You're closer than everyone else. I'm like in the middle. Yeah, but you're closer than me. Well, yeah, but I don't know anything about it. That's still like an hour drive away. I guess you're right. You know what? Screw me for even thinking.

That's like thinking you know about Oregon. Do you know anything about Oregon? Yeah, it's like Filled with Life is Strange characters Oh that's good enough for me Magic and Life is Strange I believe that's all Oregon has What about Wyoming you know anything about Wyoming?

Yeah um Horses and uh Crops and like three people Yeah well it's like what I know about the East Coast. They got fish. All right, all right, fine, fine. I'm going to East Coast. I'm going to East Coast.

You're Maine. All right, Stephen Hawking. Stephen King. Stephen Hawking? Stephen Hawking. Oh, my God. What else? Crabs.

Yeah, all right. I mean, it's... Okay. Close enough. All that's close enough. What about Maryland? They got University of Maryland with the turtle. NASA.

Uh-huh. That's all I got. NASA? Yeah, I know I got. NASA? Yeah, I know they got a NASA thing there because my friend works at NASA, and he's from Maryland, and he lives in Maryland. Well, there you go. See, I didn't know that.

I thought NASA was only in D.C., Texas, and Florida. I had no clue. Yeah, the other thing. Unless he, like, goes from Maryland to Washington. Listen, I don't know. I just know he lives there. He's NASA, and he's, you know. Very nice.

I didn't know that. Yeah. All right. See? What about – all right, I'm going to really stump you. I don't know. I just know he lives there. He's NASA and he's, you know. Very nice. I didn't know that. Alright, see? What about... Alright, I'm going to really stump you. Vermont. Vermont. What do you know about Vermont? Rich people. Alright, yeah. Sure, I guess. I'm pretty sure only rich...

Isn't Connecticut full of rich people, too Uh definitely not I know a lot of people from Connecticut who are broken shit Vermont God forced a Lot of forest that's true. That's true. I would also say I would say syrup is a yeah pretty good Well, I got some maple syrup in those forests That's true. Yeah.

That's all I got in Vermont. Yep. Forest and maple syrup. That's about right. You're actually onto something. That's true. Oh, yeah. I did see there's like an HGTV thing or some people moved around there and they're like,

who moved to the mountains? And then they built their cabin up in those mountains or something. Yeah. I feel like Vermont is where you like want to become a doomsday prepper but you also don't want to leave the east coast like you want a good train ride to new york city but like also you want to be ready for the end yeah yeah yeah yeah you're like you're ready for the end of the world but you know you're not willing to give up going to the city. Yeah, that's not too bad. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah. So what was the weather? Oh, yeah.

Oh, geez. 4, 5, 4, 1, 2. No, 4. Hold on. Hold on. 5, 2, 4. Brunswick? Nova Scotia?

Georgia. All right, close enough. Woppy, hit us with the thing. Bobby elevated. Brunswick, Georgia, 85 degrees Fahrenheit. Sunny feels like 91 degrees Fahrenheit. Sunny tonight, 71 degrees Fahrenheit. Monday, thunderstorms, 88 degrees Fahrenheit Fahrenheit. Monday, thunderstorms. 88 degrees.

Fahrenheit. 60% chance. Thunderstorm. Rain. Monday night, 71 degrees. Fahrenheit. Watch out. Hurricane.

I mean, it's nice of him to warn us, I guess. Yeah, he's got that built in now. Yeah, that's nice. That's good. That's good. Yeah. All right. and sports. Sports.

Oh, boy. Buckle up, sports, because we've got the first day of football, American style. Oh, man, that's sweet. Yeah, so opening night, the Eagles beat the Falcons. That was on Thursday. And then today, we've had some crazy stuff happening. Patriots won. That wasn't crazy for the Texans.

Yeah, that's not crazy. That's just annoying. Vikings beat the 49ers. Jaguars beat the Giants. Bengals beat the Colts. The Ravens destroyed the Bills. 47-3. The Steelers

and the Browns tied. They tied in overtime. No, I'm aware. I'm very aware. Again, like I've said on this podcast for years, when the Steelers go up against a team that they should summarily defeat,

they do not. Every time. Without fail. They screw it up. Hey, this is a win for the Browns. They do not. Every time, without fail, they screw it up. Hey, this is a win for the Browns. It's not a loss. Anything that isn't a loss is a win for the Browns. They've started their season with a.5, technically. Yeah, that's already halfway there from the past two seasons. I don't even know how you can tie.

How do you tie? I don't know. I know the Steel. How do you tie? I don't know. I think they like – I know the Steelers missed a field goal to win the game. And then I think the Browns missed a field goal to win the game. Like, I don't – I don't understand. I don't understand how you tie. Yeah, I just – I don't know either. I just – they tied, though.

So, I mean, good for them. You know what though Good for them Good for the Browns Buccaneers beat the Saints And It looks like the Chiefs are beating The Chargers which is good for my fantasy Football Dolphins Titans got delayed

Interesting Redskins Cardinals Redskins up 21-0. Panthers up 10-0 over Cowboys. Broncos 17-10 over Seahawks. And tonight, the Packers and the Bears play, and I'm very excited. This is a big game for you. This is huge for you.

This is a huge game, especially because it's like a rivalry, but it's a super rivalry for me because I've got to live here and listen to the Chicago people talk all the time. Are you going to listen to the Chicago people after this game is over? Yes, I always do. What are your predictions? Give me your predictions. What do you think is going to happen?

This is the Aaron Rodgers comeback vengeance game. Comeback season, if you will. So I think he's going to come out. He's going to shred them up. I'm going to say 24-14 the Packers win. Damn. Damn. Damn, I'll keep an eye. I'll keep an eye on that one.

Keep an eye on that one. 24-14, telling you now. Go to your bookie. Let them know. Let them know. And that's sports. Okay, Crandor, what is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day.

I'll tell you what. I got a big one today. Florida restaurant ends bring your monkey night after eight-year-old bitten by monkeys. Oh, no. This is going to be a dark story. All right. Let's do it. I'm ready.

Take me. You know what? No. I'm drinking this damn Red Bull on my desk. Let's do it. All right. Take me away. All right.

So let's establish the weirdness of the story right off the bat. A Carrabba's Italian Grill in Stewart, Florida. Whoa. I am very – when I lived in Ohio, I used to go to Carrabba's. What? Oh, my God. I have been to a Carrabba's before. Dang.

So I was unaware of their policy regarding monkeys, but okay. Well, this is the Florida one. It's a little different. All right. unaware of their policy regarding monkeys, but okay. Well, this is the Florida one. It's a little different. Alright. They're offering a weekly Monkey Mondays when a local couple brought their two

pet monkeys to join them as they ate on the patio. No effing way is this real. Monkey Mondays? Monkey Mondays. How many monkeys do they have in the area? They were thinking, we need to lure in the monkey people. That's a great question, and I'm not sure.

Monkey Mondays? That is all sorts of inappropriate. That's not cool at all. There's no way. Oh, my God. All right. All right. All right. You could dine on Italian Cuisine in the company of monkeys.

As if that wasn't strange enough, the offer has now been cancelled because one of the monkeys bit a kid's finger. Were these monkeys that they brought there to then have you dine with? Or were they monkeys that it was like, hey, bring your pet monkeys? I don't know. I think it's bring your pet monkeys. These people brought their pet monkeys. Yeah, but like, how can you guarantee that every Monday is going to be Monkey Monday? I don't know.

Are those people going to come every Monday and you just get to see the monkeys? I have no idea. This is stupid. All right. An eight-year-old boy, Jackson, was reportedly trying to grab Jojo the monkey

To play Well no you don't grab the monkey Jackson That's bad parenting Especially you know it's bad parenting Because they named their kid Jackson That's why That's a last name not a first name Get out of here

Let's be somebody in the comments like my name's Jackson And I hate you Good change your name change your name to Jack Jack Jackson, that's a better name. That's like you don't grab any animal Yeah, I don't grab animals an animal. They're just gonna bite you yeah If you're a little kid you don't grab an animal like that's a parent's job to stop your kid from doing something stupid like that Watch they but these people probably over here like dipping their bread in their whatever they're rabid goalie could bite you not and then you're gonna add in the fact that it's a monkey yeah these this family jackson you ruined monkey mondays for everyone kid yeah now no one can have monkey mondays because of you

jojo it wasn't the monkey's fault it wasn't the monkey's fault you got your hand bit. It's your fault, you little shit. Yeah. You ruined Monkey Monday for everyone. No one gets monkeys. I wanted to go to Monkey Monday. Everyone wanted to go to Monkey Monday, and you ruined it. See, the monkey bit him on the pinky finger.

The bite left a small cut on his hand. He was taken to the hospital. They cleaned the wound. Reports that Joseph and Gisley, the Jackson's father, asked Mary and Richard Van Houten, JoJo's owners, if Jackson could pet JoJo, who was seated in a high chair at the table shut up Jojo was not seated the monkey was not in a high chair

out get out of here they did not they had him like a little bit oh he was dipping bread in olive oil And just like Oh my god Excuse me can we pet your monkey Cause uh we see he's having a nice little bread And olive oil dish Yeah well hold on if the monkey is humanized And the monkey's trying to eat like a human I'd be pissed if someone came up to me and was like

Excuse me sir can I touch you Yeah exactly No actually they didn't even ask the monkey If they came up to you and said excuse me can I touch your friend Yeah, exactly. No, actually, they didn't even ask the monkey. If they came up to you and said, excuse me, can I touch your friend? And you were like, yeah, go ahead. I'd bite his damn finger too. Yeah, exactly. I'd bite his finger off.

I agree. I'm on the monkey's side. I am on the monkey's side. Mary and Richard warned Joseph to be careful because the monkey was being hyper. Well, there you go. They even told him, like, hey, he's being a little hyper today on top of it all. Yeah. The Miami Herald notes that Jackson pet JoJo and then went back and grabbed her to try to play.

JoJo got scared and bit Jackson's finger. Well, there you go. Yeah, what is that in the background? Is that a train? Oh, yeah, there's a train going by. Is that a... That is the hype train. That's the hype train.

It's the monkey train. Get on board. Get on board the hype train. That's the hype train. That's the monkey train. Get on board. Get on board the hype train because this monkey is in the right, everyone. Don't let your human... This human propaganda from this newspaper. Don't let big human convince you otherwise. This monkey was in the right. I would have bit that damn kid too.

I would have bit him. All right. Yeah. So, let's see. According to the Miami Herald, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission investigators checked out the couple's home and found proper food, water, and cages and entertainment for JoJo and four other pet monkeys.

Kalani, Keegan, Elvis, and KJ. KJ. Uh-huh. Okay. So pretty much JoJo and the gang will probably miss their Italian Monday evenings, but according to Ramona Cook, manager, where the incident happened, recognized service dogs and ponies are still allowed. Yes, you read that correctly, ponies.

I... What the fuck is going on with you, Florida? What is happening down there? I mean this. I mean this as a concerned citizen of this country. What is going on in Florida? Come on. Why are you getting rid of monkey Mondays?

Why are you getting rid of monkey Mondays? Let's have a real talk. Florida, let's have a talk. Why are ponies allowed but not monkeys? Yeah, that's species shit. Yeah, that's species shit. And now just because some dumb kid went up and touched a hyper monkey, you're going to get rid of him?

Yeah. They said the monkey was being hyper. The monkey is all carb loading. He's sitting there eating bread dipped in sauces and stuff, and he's eating noodles. He is ready to go run around. He's fine. And you had to come up there and touch him with your little greasy-ass hands.

I know you, Jackson. I know you. I don't want to touch the monkey. you. I want to touch the monkey. I want to touch the monkey. That's what he's saying. Absolutely. Watch out, Jackson. Don't be careful.

He's kind of hyped. I want to touch the monkey. I want to touch the monkey. He bit me. That's what happened. Yeah. Too bad. And the monkey was probably like, oh, I'm so sorry.

I didn't mean to bite you. I'm just a little hyperactive today. And he's like, I'm so mad at you, monkey. Yeah. Because the monkey is the real hero of this story. Because the monkey stood up to people oppression. That's right. That's right.

That's what it was. Now it's ruined for everyone. And I hope you're happy. Now no one gets a monkey money, Jackson. No one. I hope no have. Now no one gets a monkey Monday, Jackson. No one. I hope no one sends us to the family. They're going to be like, leave Jackson alone. Just parent your kid.

That's true. That's true. If you would have parented your kid better, Jackson would still have a finger, I think. And we'd still have monkey Mondays. We'd still have monkey Mondays We'd still have Monkey Mondays There's the moral That's the moral right there That's the moral of the story

Alright everybody that's it for us Thank you so much for listening We'll be back with another episode soon But before we go Crendor hit em with the socials We got twitter.com slash Crendor We got twitter.com slash Jessica Cox We got soundcloud.com slash Cox and Crendor We got youtube.com slash Crendor. We got Twitter.com slash Jessica Cox. We got SoundCloud.com slash Cox and Crendor. We got

YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor for animations. We got YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast for all the podcasts. We've got iTunes. Give us a five star. Give us a like. Give us a favorite. Give us a smash. Share it with your dog. Share it with your family. Share it with your best. YouTube.com slash Crendor. YouTube.com slash

Jessica Cox. Time out. Time out. Time out. Did you say share it with your bitch? No. Is that what came out of your mouth? I said share it with your bitch. Share it with your bitch. Share it with your bitch. Cox and Crendor.

Crendor says share it with your bitch. Share it with your bitch. Share it with your monkey. Share it with your mom. Share it with your dad. Share it with your subways. Share it with your local monkey Mond Share it with your local monkeys. Mondays.

No more. It doesn't exist anymore. Don't share it with us. They don't exist. God. Ass. That's it. All right.

Well, that's it for us. Thank you so much for listening or watching or whatever you're doing right now. And as always, To be continued.