Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 166 - Crendor's New Show

Episode Date: October 1, 2018

The boys are back, and this time terrible TV has driven them to creating a new TV show called "Crazy Shit". It is probably exactly what you think it is. Also the dudes try to pick fights with Jesse an...d a woman's revenge story against an alligator is finally revealed! All this and more on the newest Cox n' Crendor! Get 15% off your subscription at http://lootcrate.com/cox with promo code: cox Go to http://talkspace.com/COX, and use the code COX to get $45 off your first month.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Today's episode is brought to you by Talkspace, an online therapy company that wants to help you anytime, anywhere. Also, brought to you by Loot Crate. Loot Crate is a monthly subscription box that delivers pop culture awesomeness to your door. Crate salute. We'll talk about more of that later, but first, let's get down to the podcast. Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Crate Dog. This is Crateog in the morning. In the morning!
Starting point is 00:00:30 Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios. Recording! Wake your ass up! It's Carson Crendog in the morning! Carson Crendog in the morning. Hey everybody, how's it going? I don't, hey, how are you doing? What is that, what is that voice?
Starting point is 00:00:56 What is that voice to you? I don't know, it's kind of like a mix between Christopher Walken, like a deep Eastern European And New York Like if a guy Named Christoph Walkman Went to New York from somewhere In Latvia Christoph Walken Gorbachev
Starting point is 00:01:18 Gorbachev Today I buy pizza slice Triangle slice I eat very big, very big fold eat triangle pizza very good. No no no triangle pizza is rubbery, square pizza give whole pizza. Triangle pizza is only one half of square. I'll fight you. I'll fight you, deep dish number one pizza. I'll fight you with pizza. Pizza at dawn.
Starting point is 00:01:45 I fight you with pizza at dawn. Good, we meet. Pizza at dawn. Good, we eat. Pizza at dawn. Good, I eat proper way pizza, yes. I show you proper way pizza. That just reminds me of my surgeon.
Starting point is 00:02:02 Took my gallbladder out. What? He was like yelling at you for not eating pizza properly? He was like an eastern European 70 year old man. He'd be like no eat fat, no fat, no pizza no hamburger, nothing. Then when gallbladder out you eat pizza, hamburger, anything. What do you want? He was wrong.
Starting point is 00:02:18 I can't eat everything but I mean, you know. I mean, I think maybe he meant you can eat anything, but just not everything. Yeah, I get what he's saying, but, you know. Yeah, I get it. He was always like that. He would just be like, what are you doing?
Starting point is 00:02:36 What are you doing? It doesn't make sense. So, yeah, how's it going? It's going great, actually. I, today, went out and, like, walked around and did a bunch of nothing. I today went out and like walked around And did a bunch of nothing I know went and got Wait for it a salad
Starting point is 00:02:50 There's a place that just opened up called Sweet Greens And I got a Thai Salad and it was like Pretty effing good It was very nice That was like oh this was a delightfully Light lunch that was nice And then and good. It was very nice. That was like, ooh, this was a delightfully light lunch.
Starting point is 00:03:06 That was nice. And then yeah, I've just been like being stupid and having a good chill. Although today when I was driving out to go get lunch, this guy was like crossing the road
Starting point is 00:03:22 with his girlfriend. And he was, you know, your average beefy buff dude. Right. And he was crossing the street with his girlfriend. And he was your average beefy buff dude. Right. And he was crossing the street, got to the middle. Mind you, this is a street, right? He got to the middle of the street, and as I'm driving, I'm not going to slow down for his ass. What are you doing in the middle of the street, you dummy?
Starting point is 00:03:37 I'm going to keep going, and then you can go after me. Right. There's no one behind me. I'm just going to keep driving. As I drive past him, going like 25 maybe, he death glares me. I'm just going to keep driving. As I drive past him, going like 25 maybe, he like death glares me. And then as I drive past, he steps out in the street and like turns full body to me and like
Starting point is 00:03:51 flexes like he's going to fight my car? Question mark? I was like, dude, you need to take it down about 12 levels. You are way too aggro. I don't know what I did to you, but you walked out in the middle of the street. You almost fell in your car.
Starting point is 00:04:07 Yeah, that guy was like, come back here with that car. Oh, yeah. He looked like he was ready to go, and I just shook my head like, God. Some people, man. Some people. God bless them. Well, I mean, it also sounds like L.A. I mean, that's accurate.
Starting point is 00:04:23 I had a guy. Oh, man. Well, I mean, it also sounds like LA. I mean, that's accurate. I had a guy. Oh, man. I had a guy the other day. I was on the highway, and I was trying to get onto the highway, right?
Starting point is 00:04:30 Right. This guy would not get over. He was in the oncoming ramp lane, and he would not get over. So I literally just sped up and went ahead of him, right? Because the dude would not give me room. I couldn't get through. And I didn't want to get... I've been pushed off of the highway before by a truck. Where, like, the guy was not moving.
Starting point is 00:04:52 And I was like, what do you want me to do? I can't slam the brakes. There's about 12 cars behind me, asshole. So this guy, same situation, except he was in a car. So I was like, fine, at least I can speed up past this guy because there's a giant trailer to get past. So I just speed up past him, get in front of him. For the next mile and a half or however long it took him to get off on his exit,
Starting point is 00:05:11 he would drive in front of me, slam on his brakes, right? And I'm like, okay, I'm just going to get over to the next lane then, crazy person. And he'd get over to that lane in front of me, slam on his brakes, and I was just like, yo, you, something's wrong with your head, man. And it ain't me. I ain't the problem here. Those are like the crazy people, dude. Yeah, and I was just like, it's your fault that I had to cut you off.
Starting point is 00:05:36 You could have slowed down and let me go, but you didn't do that. And now you're mad at me? Oh, I hate that stuff. I hate when people get mad Because they're They messed up So they get mad And they like take it out on other people And you're just like
Starting point is 00:05:49 What? What? No, why? Why are you doing this? It's like a weird self-defense thing Like I You did that to me You made me mess up
Starting point is 00:05:58 Yeah Oh, I hate it I hate it Speaking of stuff I hate Finally watch some more episodes of Are You The One Can I tell you I hate it. I hate it. Speaking of some I hate, finally watch some more episodes of Are You The One. Can I tell you, I hate this season. I truly, genuinely hate this season. I legit tried to watch another episode and I couldn't make it through it.
Starting point is 00:06:18 I was just like, I can't. I just don't like anybody. I have no reason to want to watch it. I just don't like this season either. I don't like anybody. I have no reason to want to watch it. I just don't like this season either. They're all – before, it was terrible people who were charismatic and fun to watch them be terrible.
Starting point is 00:06:32 Now, it's just terrible people who are terrible. So, for example, that Zack kid, right? Right. So, he, after messing with Bria and this girl Morgan the entire time, right? Mm-hmm. In a recent episode, he finally gets the chance to take Bria – first off Morgan the entire time, right? Mm-hmm. In a recent episode, he finally gets the chance to take Bria. First off, they haven't been with each other. He's been with this Morgan girl the entire time since he and Bria broke up.
Starting point is 00:06:52 But he has the chance to go into the truth booth. He takes Bria along just to close it off, right? Just to make sure they aren't a match. Right. Then he falls back in love with her. They are so excited to go on the truth booth together. He completely ignores Morgan. He goes on a truth booth with Bria.
Starting point is 00:07:09 They find they're not a match. Then he comes back out and goes back to Morgan like, hey, so are we still a thing? And she's like, what are you talking about? And then the worst part is, is then he literally convinces her that he's still into her. It's like, lady, he's still into her. It's like, lady, he's been using this entire, it's insane. It's insane. It's insane to me.
Starting point is 00:07:36 There's the one guy who, I'm trying to think of his name. It's the guy who is like the comedy guy, the one like funny dude. Oh, yeah, comedy dude. He and this girl Asia have been like sleeping together this entire time time like sleeping next to each other not like actually banging but she's convinced he likes her but he's he's too timid to do anything and he's not um like hooking up with any other girls and she's like i need to make a move i need to tell him we need to sit down and talk this out so they have a conversation after after one of the light ceremonies where he doesn't pick her. And she's like, what is going on with us?
Starting point is 00:08:09 And she's like, I see you. You went on the first day and, like, got some from this other girl. But you are afraid to hook up with me? And I thought it was going to be something sweet. Like, he was going to say, yeah, it's because I really like you. And I don't want to screw things up with you. And I want to take it slow because you're someone that I like That kind of thing
Starting point is 00:08:26 He goes, yeah, I'm just not attracted to you It was so harsh The reason why I can sleep next to you Is because I don't want to have sex with you I just don't think you're attractive I was like, whoa Jiminy Christmas Everyone in this house is awful.
Starting point is 00:08:47 There's not a good, one guy, Quasi, Kwame, whatever his name was. Oh, yeah. Two episodes, he goes through this transformation of just like, yeah, I'm tough on the outside. They call me the beast because I'm so mad all the time. But deep inside, I have a heart of gold. And this one girl starts to learn about it, right? Cut to later that episode where he's like, I'm going to bang this girl because you're the idiot who made her like all sweet and nice
Starting point is 00:09:08 and that lets me come in there and get some. I was just like, oh my god. They're all bad. They're all terrible people. Oh yeah. The one guy who's not an asshole is this guy Moe. He goes around the house cleaning up the house, taking care of everyone, and everyone
Starting point is 00:09:23 treats him like shit They all He got to go out On a date And everyone's like We're not gonna pick Mo Because Come on
Starting point is 00:09:32 No one likes Mo I'm just like Oh my god He's doing all He's the only sane one In the house That's why they don't like him I know
Starting point is 00:09:40 God almighty It is Terrible Yeah I guess last season Had everything that it needed to be a great show And this season This is like if you go to a restaurant and you get something and you love it so much
Starting point is 00:09:50 You're like I'm going back there tomorrow You come back and it's not as good Because maybe it was the chef or maybe it was just the night Or maybe it was the way they cooked it Whatever it was perfect the way you had it before And then you went back And it wasn't nearly as good And that's what this season is That's a good way to put it before And then you went back and it wasn't nearly as good And that's what this season is
Starting point is 00:10:05 That's a good way to put it I agree with that Last season I had my five star meal Now I go back and it's over buttered Over saturated And the chef came out and yelled at me Yes Oh my god speaking of chef yelling
Starting point is 00:10:21 Alright speaking of reality shows and chef yelling I went back At I don't know 1am one night because I saw it on a YouTube video. Alright. I rewatched an entire episode of Kitchen Nightmares where he goes to Amy's Baking Company. Oh yeah! I love that episode. I get to watch that shit all the time.
Starting point is 00:10:40 It is fascinating. Fascinating to watch the two of them. Yeah. The thing is, I don't even care if it's, like, not real or if they're overhyping it. It's amazing television. Yeah, it is great television. It's so good. I went and watched Hotel Nightmares.
Starting point is 00:10:58 Which is like Kitchen Nightmares, except every once in a while he'll be like, This bed is atrocious. Yeah, it's literally Kitchen Nightmares, but he, like like occasionally will be like, the room's awful, bloody awful. And it's like, all right. And then he's like, no, let me show you how to fix the kitchen. All right, so it's Kitchen Nightmares. But I don't mind because it's still Kitchen Nightmares. I'm like, all right.
Starting point is 00:11:17 Yeah. Everything that he does is super duper fake. As we discussed with Hell's Kitchen, the other show show If you watch them back to back on Netflix or whatever The trailers for the next episode Are just flat out lies If you watch the trailers It seems like someone dies in the next episode Come to the next episode, nothing happens
Starting point is 00:11:36 And you're like wait what I thought this was going to be huge But you forget week to week if you watch it once a week You forget what it was going to be You just know you're hyped But if you watch it once a week, right? You forget what it was going to be. You just know you're hyped. But if you watch it back to back, they include the trailers. And the trailers are like, next time on Hell's Kitchen. And then the guy's on fire.
Starting point is 00:11:53 And a girl punches another girl. And there's a chainsaw being used on a person. And then cut to the next episode. And everyone's fine. Nothing bad is happening. And you're like, wait, where'd they get that footage? Why don't they use that footage? is going on oh yeah let's just go back just watch the old classic uh kitchen nightmares of him in like the uk version don't do that don't do that he's nice
Starting point is 00:12:18 he actually cares about people many of the episodes he leaves being like that was a delicious meal and i'm so glad that these people are cooking in the UK Oh yeah No don't do that He's a different person Angry American Gordon Ramsay is the one you need Donkey By the way I went to Gordon Ramsay's steak
Starting point is 00:12:38 When I was in Vegas for Evo That was tight That was good I feel like most of his places are at least Good, above average Yeah, it was super expensive I don't know if I would justify the expense But it was fun
Starting point is 00:12:53 And the drinks were good And the food was pretty good The baked potato I got I literally just got a steak and a baked potato And a drink, and that's all I wanted Oh, and I think I got broccoli too. But that was like a simple meal, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:08 It was great. It was super good. It's just one of those things where, oh, you know what the best part was? The bread. They gave you bread at the beginning. Oh, man. And it was like little tiny, almost finger-sized breads, right? But each one was different, and there were a few of each.
Starting point is 00:13:26 Oh, my God. They were all good. They were all good. I like that. I like bread. Yeah. They were all little. They were all like, I'm trying to think.
Starting point is 00:13:33 One was like a swirly bread. It looked like it could have been a cinnamon roll, but it wasn't cinnamon. It was something sour in it. I don't remember what it was, but it was good. It was really good. I don't remember what it was. Cinnamon sourdough. Oh, speaking of, man, I'm all about, this is what happens when I eat a salad.
Starting point is 00:13:54 All I can think about is things that aren't a salad now. Yesterday I was at the mall, and they opened up a new place. We have to go to the mall, by the way, just so I can show you this place. Oh, no doubt. It's a new place in the mall where it is freshly made in front of you churros. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:14:12 And then they even have a thing where they can fill them for you. And you can put whatever you want inside the churros. It's dangerous. That's a danger zone. Anything like what? By anything, I mean there are three fillings. By anything, there are three fillings. By anything, there were three. It was strawberry, cream, and cinnamon filling, I think.
Starting point is 00:14:31 Oh, shit. Maybe it was caramel filling. I don't remember. But I didn't get any filling. I just got it. I was like, I would like a churro that's freshly made, please. And all of ours are freshly made. I was like, I got to watch them make it. It was great. Mama mama mia i want a churro now i know it was so good oh yeah i went to uh
Starting point is 00:14:52 stan's donuts i know they got one in la they do and now there's like there's like 20 of them in chicago now i don't know why there's more in chicago than la but i went to one it was pretty good the last time oh man now i think about it It was pretty good. The last time I had a donut was when we did, I think Dodger or Sam or someone brought in donuts from the Hawaiian Bakery. Oh my god. I don't know what they do to Hawaiian Bakery donuts, but those tasted like, they were almost, I don't want to say liquidy cause that sounds gross, but they, but they, they were softer than a normal donut. Huh? Oh, they were good. This is what happens.
Starting point is 00:15:31 I go eat a salad and I'm like, you know what? I can eat a bunch of donuts. It's a, I don't know when you, I can't just eat like a salad. Like I need other stuff like side salads. Good. But like, I just, I can't just eat a salad. Well, my salad other stuff. Like side salad's good but like I just I can't just eat a salad. Well my salad, I'm trying to think of what was in it. It was a Thai salad. So it had
Starting point is 00:15:54 uh, like a Thai dressing and it had cabbage and it had uh, corn and cucumber and carrot and something else. And then I got it because I am trying to be like a healthy dude. Instead of getting it with like meat stuff, I got it with a like really firm tofu.
Starting point is 00:16:17 Yo, I love firm tofu. Tofu's not as bad as people make it out to be, but it's got to have, like, a sauce on it or something. Well, that's what I'm saying. It was fried tofu that was extra firm, so it, like, had the texture and consistency of, like, a meat, but it was good. And so I like the squishy tofu and all that crap I can't eat. Just like I can't do – for me, food has to have a consistency That isn't like goop Right Jell-O and yogurt push it for me
Starting point is 00:16:50 I eat them because I know that They're like liquidy stuff So I'm like alright that's fine But you were very aware that I put crunchy shit in my yogurt Like I need a crunch I need a texture Because things like oysters and stuff I cannot do I just can't.
Starting point is 00:17:06 Yeah, I'm not a big oyster person. It makes me so sick. What about, oh yeah, you know what I was watching? It was HGTV. Of course you were. I watch a lot of HGTV. Can I tell you something I read the other day? What?
Starting point is 00:17:18 Those shows on HGTV where it's like, love it or listed, or five houses to buy, or whatever the hell the shows are called. Apparently, this ruined everything for me All those people Own the house That they end up owning in the end Oh yeah I knew that So I didn't even know that
Starting point is 00:17:37 So I guess when they go on the show And they're like we have to find our house Really the house they end up getting at the end Is the house they've owned all along And all the other houses are like friends houses Or houses that Are up for sale that they're like trying to show off To get just in the house and it's all
Starting point is 00:17:51 BS I was like what It's like when we found out storage wars was fake I still don't Care mind you but it's You know it's aggravating it does take some Some of the magic away from it It does yes but I mean I don't mind on those shows because i just like seeing all the different houses and just being like oh look at this house and then if
Starting point is 00:18:11 they're like we pick this house which is the one they already own well i'm like well you're dumb you should move and go to the other house because it's better for you i mean you're right yeah but we could just knock the wall down And just you know Like no no Fresh start for all of you moving to the new house Oh my god and then TLC I swear to god I tried there is the Coupon clipper people or whatever
Starting point is 00:18:37 But like now it's just a Bunch of shows with a bunch Of kids Like I went to their website There's out daughtered where it's like these people have like eight daughters then there's sweet home sex tuplets then there's counting on where it's like that family of like 20 people their kids are now having kids and it's just like how many shows about having a bunch of kids can you have and there's unexpected which is like this girl has a baby unexpected so it's another show about kids how
Starting point is 00:19:11 many shows about kids you could have well i mean considering what's on mtv when i sit there and watch are you the one i feel like teen mom og and young there's a lot of teen mom teen mom two teen mom young and pregnant there's so many teen mom shows that i just have to wonder what is the main audience of tv now i don't know let's like let's like with tlc like i just you know i want to go back to the glory days of like the people that like i have a problem i drink gasoline you know they're, I'm eating the insides of a couch. I want to go back to those people. I think we found all those people
Starting point is 00:19:50 we could find though. There's got to be more. Well, why don't we make that a show? Well. What would you call that show? I'd call it Crazy Shit. Crendor's Crazy Shit? Yeah, Crendor's Crazy Shit. Uh, I'd call it, uh, crazy shit. Crendor's crazy shit?
Starting point is 00:20:08 Yeah, Crendor's crazy shit. Uh-huh. And what would it, what would, give us the intro to the show. How would you start it? How would you explain what the show's about? It'd be like a ghost adventure start where they're just like, this is me, Crendor, and I've gone all around the world finding some crazy shit. Today, I found somebody that does some crazy shit.
Starting point is 00:20:28 His name is John Adams, and this is what John does. And then he'd be like, Hey, I'm John Adams, and I like to eat tape. And I would just show him with a bunch of tape in his house, and he'd be up like tape dispensers,
Starting point is 00:20:42 and he'd keep like pulling it out and eating it. And he's like, and once you start, you just can't stop but does crazy shit involve anything besides people eating weird stuff uh i haven't that might be season two oh okay so really crazy shit is the description of what happens after they eat the stuff. I mean, yeah. All right, yeah. All right, sure. I just feel like crazy shit can encompass anything. Like, this is a sculpture of Gandhi made out of cheese.
Starting point is 00:21:14 Well, yeah, but that's a different season, like I said. So, like, a second season, maybe it'd be, like, weird statues all over. Third season, maybe we'll find find like uh rituals people do like the uh the crazy rituals people do like every day i go to my donut shop i ask for one black coffee and i tip one dollar then i go and buy one bagel at the closest bagel store and i place it on the sidewalk that's up you know what i know you're trying to describe something crazy, but that definitely sounds like something you do. That sounds like your morning. You go to
Starting point is 00:21:49 one coffee place just to get the coffee. You go to a bagel place just to get the bagel. And then you put it all on the floor. That's how you fight off the demons. Yeah, of course. The demons inside your head. That's how you fight them off. The demons, George. Speaking of George
Starting point is 00:22:05 Have you listened to George Norton in a while? Uh yes That's how I fall asleep still Man I haven't listened to Coast to Coast in forever I never Every time I go to bed It's either Right when they're on that 12 hour commercial block
Starting point is 00:22:22 Or Right when the show's ended. And I'm like, well, okay, and I just turn it off. I haven't listened to it forever. I have their podcast thing, so I just start it from the start. And then they cut out the commercials. Anything good recently? Well, the thing is, I always listen.
Starting point is 00:22:41 I need to start listening to the crazy callers again because I've just listened to, like like the starts of the episodes where then they're like, I'm George Dory. And here's what's on tap for today. They're just like, basically you fall asleep before he gets through the news. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:55 The government unleashed DARPA on the citizens of Japan, causing all of the fart and other news. And you're like, wait, what George? Wait, what? He's like,
Starting point is 00:23:03 all right, let's check in with the, these people. And then he's like alright let's check in with the these people and then he's like let's check in with the democrat and they're like I hate republicans like let's check in with the republican he's like I hate democrats he's like let's check in with the sky master and he's like there's stars up there George he's like I love those
Starting point is 00:23:18 stars and he's like he's like let's check in with our foreign policy man and he's like I think there might be a Korean war tomorrow and he's like, let's check in with our foreign policy man. And he's like, I think there might be a Korean War tomorrow. And he's like, all right, that sounds scary. He's been saying that for like a year and a half. He's like, tomorrow, I know it's the day we're going to war. He's like, all right.
Starting point is 00:23:38 And then he's like, well, now we're bringing on our guest who predicts the date's calendars will co-align with space dust. You mean my favorite guest, the numbers lady? Yeah. Oh, yeah. The numbers lady. There's this earthquake lady. And he'll just be like, there is an earthquake over here.
Starting point is 00:23:57 And she's like, George, what have I been saying? What have I been saying? I said it months ago. And I said the earthquake's going to hit. It's a 7.2 to an 8.8. What was it? It was an 8.1. You just get it.
Starting point is 00:24:10 And he's like, wow, she's just that good. I miss Art Bell. Art Bell would have given these people shit. But instead, George just constantly gives in to them. Someone could be like, George, I predict there's going to be an earthquake somewhere on the Pacific Rim and it's going to be devastating. Devastating.
Starting point is 00:24:31 And then cut to a few months later, I told you, George. I caught it. I caught it. Of course you did. Because we all knew that was going to happen because that's how it works. I know. Oh my god. On the weekends, they always like guest people and they had uh richard sarath doing the one and
Starting point is 00:24:50 he was like i'm sorry to the man that emailed me he was yelling at me because i said a caller was west of the rockies when the caller was east of the rockies it's like so sorry to you Email person I was like oh my god I would love love to know the emails That they get Because so people aren't aware I do a show with My friend Alex And Mathis who
Starting point is 00:25:19 It's It's called Chaluminati and it is a podcast That's about Paranormal stuff All I do the entire time is poo poo it And I'm like this is not true that's not real But they genuinely believe in some of it And so We get emails
Starting point is 00:25:36 All the time as well And if those emails Are anything like what George gets Some people be crazy Like genuinely Crazy I've gotten some emails that I'm just like Emails are anything like what George gets. Some people be crazy. Like, genuinely crazy. I've gotten some emails that I'm just like, wait, wait, what? What do you think?
Starting point is 00:25:54 Like, conspiracy things? Oh, not just conspiracy, but things that are super insane. I don't want to mention them because I feel like that person probably is listening. And they're going to write me another crazy letter letter but i'll definitely tell you off the air like it is specific and weird and it involves it involves in like plants and you're just like wait what yeah it's bizarre all i know uh all i know is like with my gallbladder Before I even got it out someone's like Have you tried like olive oil therapy And I was like no And I'm not going to try olive oil therapy
Starting point is 00:26:32 I will not try olive oil therapy I'm not going to try your olive oil therapy Alright You work for my aunt I don't believe you I really don't I don't believe you or your aunt or the olive oil. I'm telling you, man.
Starting point is 00:26:48 Just like bathe in olive oil and drink four shots a day. It's like the best thing you can do. I would not. I want you to know right now. If you showed up at my apartment thinking of olive oil, I would not welcome you. I'd be like, you need to find another place to stay. You don't understand. You haven't even tried it.
Starting point is 00:27:10 I would love for you to get pulled over by the cops and they're like, is that olive oil on your breath? Feel how smooth my skin is. I would, for the sake of a goof Take a bath in olive oil Just to see what that was like I'd probably try it I imagine all of me would be gross afterwards What are the rules?
Starting point is 00:27:34 Do you bathe in it and then you get out And then dry yourself off or do you wash? I don't know Also wouldn't you be greasy and all pimply? I don't know the rules I feel like that would probably clog your pores. The last thing I need is pimples not on my... I don't want like a
Starting point is 00:27:50 pimple on my butt or like a pimple on the back of my knee or some awful shit. I don't want that. That'd be terrible. Shit, dude. Alright, well I guess this is as good a time as any to talk about Loot Crate.
Starting point is 00:28:10 Loot Crate is a monthly subscription box filled with all sorts of geeky goodness coming from the worlds of comics and movies and video games, everything to make your little nerd heart happy. I have been a member of Loot Crate since the very, very, very beginning. I'm member number 23, y'all. Or am I 26? Where's my card? I can't make false claims. I can't do it. Can't do it. My wallet's not.
Starting point is 00:28:31 My wallet is across the room, and I'm too lazy to go get it. Okay, well, it's one of those two numbers. This month, it is Cursed Items. So it's Attack on Titan, an American Horror Story, Gremlins-themed stuff, Evil Dead 2, all sorts of fun things. And you
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Starting point is 00:29:30 Geek out in style with Lootcrate. And if you subscribe now by going to Lootcrate.com slash cox, enter the code COX and save an exclusive 15% off your subscription. That's 15% off your subscription! That is the most exciting Crenor has ever been. No, it's pretty close. Lootcrate.com slash Cox. Enter code Cox to save that 15%.
Starting point is 00:29:53 Also, this week, we're brought to you by Talkspace. Talkspace is sponsoring this show, and I think it's awesome that they are. It is an online therapy company that lets you Talk about what's going on in your life With a therapist anywhere at any time All you need is a computer with an internet connection Or the mobile app That means you can improve your mental health Even if you had trouble making time for it in the past
Starting point is 00:30:16 And that is so key y'all Get right with yourself That's what I'm saying I need to do some of that I do too I'm looking at this like I need to get on this that. I do too. I'm like, I'm looking at this like, I need to get on this right now because one of the biggest things people always say
Starting point is 00:30:29 besides the fact that they have this issue where they think like I don't need help. I'm good. I don't need to talk to nobody. We all need help. A huge thing is people can't imagine fitting time to talk with a therapist into their life, right? I got stuff to do. I'm busy. I got things to do.
Starting point is 00:30:47 I don't have time to talk to someone. How am I supposed to do that? This is a great way to do that. You can fit it into your life. You can put it right on your phone and get stuff off your chest whenever you need to. And you don't need to set appointments or like, well, every Thursday for an hour, I got to go. No, like you can do this on your own time. every Thursday for an hour I gotta go. No, you can do this on your own time. You can chat about life. You can chat about your relationships, your commute home.
Starting point is 00:31:12 You can just talk with someone who is there to listen to you and to help you sort of work through your stuff. Which again, I know everyone's like, well, I got friends for that. You don't want to dump all this stuff on your friends because they got their own problems too. Yeah, and therapists, they typically know how to handle it better than your friend Jimmy who's just like,
Starting point is 00:31:31 Shit, dude, that's crazy. Right? They actually give you reasonable answers and responses. Like, everyone assumes therapy is like, I'm remembering my childhood now. I remember. It's not that at all. Laying down on the brown couch being like I just don't know what to do Yeah it's not the therapy you saw
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Starting point is 00:32:42 Talkspace.com slash Cox. All right, Crandor, well, let's go to chapter 7. Crandor, how's that driving? I said your name so many times. Talkspace.com slash Cox. Talkspace.com slash Cox. All right, Crandor. Well, let's go to Chopper. Crandor, how's that driving? I said your name so many times. How's that driving out there? Hey, thanks, Cox.
Starting point is 00:32:57 Up here in the Crandor copter, I'm going to be talking back to you in the studio. How you doing, Cox? It's me, Crandor. It's our show, Cox and Crandor. So many names. So many... What am I doing? I don't know. I'm up in the sky looking down at the roads, and they're looking pretty all right.
Starting point is 00:33:09 If you're going to be taking the 84, I'd suggest taking the 82 instead. A little bit of a slight right onto that ramp. It's going to be a rough one. Also, it looks like there's an accident on the 62. It appears the Miami Dolphins have started playing football in the middle of the road. Somebody tell those guys they're supposed to be on the football field or in the water. I don't know why I said that. Back to you.
Starting point is 00:33:33 Thanks, Crandor. I don't know why you said that either. Let's go off to Crandor at the weather desk. Crandor, how's the weather? Hey, we got weather happening in the world. That's true. All the time, in fact fact it does not stop all right see we got some we got some your own sound effects weather let me search
Starting point is 00:33:58 me search the weather okay there we go. Four, two, one, two, four, two. Glasgow. Scotland? Kentucky. Glasgow, Kentucky. Hey, it's 67 degrees there. It's clear. It feels like 67 as well. That's pretty nice, and the low is 63.
Starting point is 00:34:21 We got some low, cloudy skies, but tomorrow it's going to rain. 81 degrees. Then Monday night it's going to rain a little as well. 66 degrees. Tuesday 80 with rain. Tuesday night 65. It's starting to get cooler out there.
Starting point is 00:34:37 We got fall coming in. That's the weather. All right. All right. What is going on in sports? Sports. Oof. We had big football stuff today.
Starting point is 00:34:52 Big football stuff. Cleveland Browns almost won another game, but they lost. Yeah, no, they lost. I like how you spun it, though. You spun it very well. Yeah. Packers won. Thank God.
Starting point is 00:35:07 The Seahawks beat the Cardinals. The Jaguars beat the Jets. The Texans beat the Colts in a very ugly game. I watched the end of that. Dallas beat Detroit. The Bears destroyed Tampa Bay. Cincinnati won at the last second against Atlanta. Tennessee beat the eagles in overtime
Starting point is 00:35:25 new england killed miami and uh the saints beat the giants chargers beat the 49ers the la's uh second tier team that should still be san diego um and uh dude don't look now the eagles are two and two they were last year's super bowl champion team and they're uh they're looking just pretty mediocre while while we're talking about sports scores let's ignore the fact that the baltimore ravens beating up on the steelers 14 to 3 at the moment yeah that's the 14 3 that is oh wait it says 14 5 on nfl.com oh my god they got two was it a safety no i think the nfl.com guy just messed it up. When you click on the actual thing, it says 14-3.
Starting point is 00:36:09 He's like, I'm going to give them two. And they need it. Yeah, so unless they actually just did get five and it's just messed up, I'm pretty sure it's just messed up. Their next game is Falcons, and the game after that is the bangles if they lose both those games i'm i'm out i'm gonna go become a fan of like i'm gonna become a fan of of the giants i don't know some of their team you're not gonna be happy with the giants i'm gonna tell you that right now. Ah, okay. And baseball about to start the playoffs. So now baseball actually matters.
Starting point is 00:36:48 Yeah, finally. Cubs and Brewers play a game to win the division, and then the Rockies and the Dodgers play a game to see who wins the division. And then whoever wins the division gets to go to the playoff first round, and then the loser has to play in the wild card game to see if they can go to the playoff playoffs. And that's sports. Alright. What is our big news story of the day? Alright. So, remember
Starting point is 00:37:12 last week. Oh boy. When we talked about the woman who killed an alligator but we couldn't find the story. Right. There are now many stories about the woman with the alligator. And I feel like we have to revisit it we we owe it to the people the people want this story yeah uh texas great-grandmother shoots 12-foot
Starting point is 00:37:35 gator as revenge for killing mini horse okay it's still funny can i ask you a question Right yes I know this is going to say a lot about me And my assumptions About Texas But when it says Texas great grandmother In my mind I want to believe She's like I don't know 75 But I feel like she's a 50
Starting point is 00:38:01 Uh yeah I think she might be looking like 60s. All right. I guess that makes sense. I guess that's possible. Yeah. I just, you know, every time I make assumptions about the South, it's like my great-grandmother, and they're like, she's 55.
Starting point is 00:38:16 I'm like, yeah, okay. All right. Yeah. She looks like late 60s from what I'm seeing. She seems like a badass then. I'm not saying that you can't be a badass at 55. I'm just saying if you're 60-something and you kill a
Starting point is 00:38:32 gator, that's even more badass. Judy B. Cochran, the mayor of Livingston. Wait, she's the mayor? Yeah, she is. Oh my god. Got her revenge on a 12-foot, 580-pound alligator. She believes ate one of her miniature horses years ago when she killed it on Sunday.
Starting point is 00:38:52 Years ago? Years ago. What? Teal had just been lurking around. Has she been hunting this gator for years? Oh, my God. This story gets so good. Okay.
Starting point is 00:39:04 She's 68. I called it. You did call it. Called it right on. The gator was large enough it could have eaten the mini horse and the other gators are much smaller, she told NBC News. The horse just came up missing and it was in the same pasture where the gator
Starting point is 00:39:20 had been. To say for sure it's the same gator, I can't say for sure, but I highly suspect. The gator had been. To say for sure it's the same gator, I can't say for sure, but I highly suspect. The gator was caught after being hooked by using raccoon roadkill as bait. Then, while the gator was roped and on the line, Cochran fired a single shot into his head, killing it. Whoa!
Starting point is 00:39:40 Damn, one shot. Do not miss your chance to blow this opportunity. To blow his brains out Cochran who became a great grandmother On Friday Said she met all the requirements for hunting the alligator And that the reptile is in season As reported by the Houston Chronicle
Starting point is 00:39:57 Time out She met all the requirements Instead of hunting him has she been training for years In order to hunt the skater I feel like she has. Have we missed out on the training montage of her? Like, she's like running down the street, shooting things, learning how to shoot. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:40:17 We missed out. But an animal rights group compared the shooting of the gator to shooting fish in a barrel. We may not understand gators the way we do animals we're more familiar with but we know that they're expert navigators clever hunters and fiercely protective parents who must most importantly feel the same fear and pain that we do shame on the mayor for her cruel and cowardly act uh cochran said she ignored the negative comments adding that because of the gator's size, it had become aggressive and would have been a nuisance to another person had it been relocated. It's part of wildlife management. It's not just willy nilly.
Starting point is 00:40:52 We decided to go down and kill a gator for the heck of it. She said, I don't know. This is based on revenge. I feel like this is, this would be like if I shot a man and I was like, ah, hold on, hold on, hold on. I didn't like shoot him because I wanted to shoot him. It was population management. You know, she wanted to kill this gator. Well, I feel like she has somewhat of a point, but it's still clearly a revenge story.
Starting point is 00:41:21 She didn't just go out like, there's just too many gators getting close to my house. She was just like, this is the gator that did it. How long has she been mayor? Can I propose another theory? She ran for mayor on a platform of killing this gator. She's got my vote.
Starting point is 00:41:41 Our town isn't safe because five years ago, my prize-winning miniature pony was killed by a gator, and our mayor did nothing. Vote for me, and I'll get all them gators, all of
Starting point is 00:41:56 them. Cochran said she comes from a family of hunters, and they will use all parts of the animal. We'll eat the meat, and if we don't eat all of it, we'll donate it. Donate animal we'll eat the meat and if we don't eat all of it we'll donate it donate the meat who wants donated gator meat gator jerky who are they donating it to i need answers who are they i oh my god all right sure we'll have the hide tanned and boots made out of it and all this gator although this gator her first, it's not the first massive gator killed by her family. Cochran said her grandson, Simon Hughes, killed an even bigger gator in the same pond in 2009 when he was just five years old.
Starting point is 00:42:38 Simon's gator was seven inches longer than the one his grandma nabbed, but she said her grandchildren still think her kill is respectable. They don't mess with Nana, she said. Damn right they don't. Damn right. Damn right they don't.
Starting point is 00:42:58 Damn. She almost got outbeat by a five-year-old. Yeah, sure. Holy shit. I can't even picture a five year old. Yeah, sure. Holy shit. Just can't, I can't even picture a five year old shooting a gator. It's like,
Starting point is 00:43:11 we're hitting the point where like they're ruining gators. They're ruining monkey Mondays and now they're ruining alligator. All right. Well, that's it for us. Thank you so much for listening or watching or whatever doing around the world but Crendor hit them with the socials
Starting point is 00:43:30 soundcloud.com slash cox and crendor youtube.com slash cox and crendor podcast if you'd rather listen to it on youtube youtube.com slash cox and crendor if you want to watch animations of us on the internet youtube.com slash jessicox twitter.com slash jessicox youtube.com slash crendor twitter.com slash jessicox. Twitter.com slash jessicox.
Starting point is 00:43:45 YouTube.com slash Crandor. Twitter.com slash Crandor. Twitch.tv slash jessicox. Twitch.tv slash Crandor. Just Google stuff. There you go. Just Google stuff. Well, that's it for us. Thank you so much for watching, listening, and all that jazz.
Starting point is 00:44:01 And as always, to be continued.

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