Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 168 - The Chills

Episode Date: October 15, 2018

The boys are back, and this time they've discovered the only thing worse than the grocery store on a Sunday. Crendor is possibly haunted by ghosts, stoners take over a Starbucks, and Jesse admits to watching may too much of the Chills youtube channel. All this and more on this episode of Cox n' Crendor! Order your 23andMe Health & Ancestry Service kit at http://23andme.com/cox Go to http://talkspace.com/COX, and use the code COX to get $45 off your first month.

Today's episode is brought to you by 23andMe, a DNA testing service that can offer you insights into your ancestry, health, wellness, and other awesome traits. Today's show is also brought to you by Talkspace, the online therapy company that lets you message a licensed therapist from anywhere, at any time, through their app. It's super awesome, and we'll talk about that later as well. Alright, let's jump into this podcast. Hello, everybody, it's time for and we'll talk about that later as well all right let's jump into this podcast hello everybody it's time for ghost on trend dog in the morning studio recording wake your ass up

it's the next friend of the morning hello everybody welcome back to the next friend of the morning what was that are you pinging me what one ping only

please hi did you just watch our new animated video What? One ping only, please Hey Hi Did you just watch our new animated video And you were like, well I gotta make goofs now Yeah I knew it, I see through you How could I not?

It's like if I don't do it, I'm gonna be like, wow that was boring But if I do do it, I'm gonna be like, he's trying to do the thing So let's do or die either way So I might as well just do the goof. Yeah, you might as well just goof it. You might as well be a goofy goober, as we've discussed in this life of ours. Be goofy. I didn't realize how many different

intros we had. I forgot half of those even existed. Oh, we have many, and they're all terrible. Every single one. The one you're listening to right now, just as bad. Oh, it's just as bad if not worse. Everyone listening right now, you're living in history. You're living through, you're now part of another future animated

where Krendor is like popping his head up out of bushes or some weird thing, I don't know. People will discover these thousands of years from now and be like, what was this ancient relic? I don't think anyone's going to need a thousand years to be like, what is this?

That's true. Humanity will probably be dead by then, let's be real. Yeah. In a million years, a thousand years, whatever. Yeah. Some of you will still be alive. I believe that. You'll be like part robot, but you'll still be around.

That's true. That's true. Hey, you know what? I'd be part robot. Oh, I'd be all robot. All robot all the time. That sounds like an ad. All robot all the time.

Yep. If I open a restaurant, it'd be run by robots, and that'd be the ad for me. All robots all the time. Well, what would it be called? Robutter. Robutter. Yeah. Uh, Row Butter. Row Butter? Yeah. It's like a bakery.

Welcome to Row Butter. What do you put in your stuff? Only Row Butter. Nothing else. Yeah, but it wouldn't sound like that. No, it'd be like, welcome to Row Butter. Well, I feel like robots are going to hit a point where they don't sound like that. No, I'd be like, welcome to Robutter. That's true. Well, I feel like robots are going to hit a point where they don't sound like that. Oh yeah.

I'll be like, welcome to Robutter. Yeah. Yeah. And you'll be like, dang, is this a robot or a person? Yeah.

And then you'll be like, you're kind of sexy. And I'll be like, I'm a robot. All I do is serve you delicious buttered breads from Robutter, which you can purchase at our store to your left. Ding! Uh-huh.

Yep. I mean, that could be a store right now. Oh, God. If only. If I go there every day. I would, too. At least every day. Maybe more.

At least. At least. Maybe I'd never leave. Yeah. How you doing? For some reason this past week I was watching a lot of YouTube I don't usually watch a lot of YouTube So When I do

I go deep I The binge is next level And so I was watching a lot of I can't remember the guy's name It's the creepy channel guy But it's the guy who's like Number 14

You probably never Have you ever seen that guy I don't think so Number 14 the scary ghost from Mars You probably never thought about The scary ghost from Mars Is it just an old robot voice No it's like a real person's voice

But he talks like a crazy person And I can't I can't figure it out I'm obsessed with it now I've been talking about it with people all week long Where he's just like Number 15, Monkey Trouble It's just

It's just him doing the voice on purpose And I don't know why But his channel's very very big And all he does is like Number 1, Scariest Moment ever and it's just him doing this voice but then it's like a real person because then i'll be like if you want to see what i look like go to my instagram account and you're just like what why do you sound like this and i what makes it weird is that because his voice sounds weird, it makes the videos creepier.

Yeah. I mean, I would already be creeped out. Because it's like, you think it's a robot, but it's a person. So it's like, is the robot a person, or is the person a robot? And in the background, it always says that music is like... Right? Like, creepy. And then it's just him being like... John Escobar thought that he would never find a snake in his pants.

Danny, but Danny, but then he found one. Like it's just, Oh, you know what? I think I have randomly watched one of those. I think almost everyone has seen one of those videos. Yeah.

Let's see. There's top tens, top 15, chills, sir. Spooks, Mr. Nightmare, the richest- Maybe it's chills, I think it might be chills. Chills, okay, let's see, where did the chills, 19 scary events. Yes, that's 100%- Oh yeah! The horrible things that have happened there may explain these notoriously frightening images. The way he talks

is not how people talk both professionals and tourists visit the place but they don't know what's gonna be happening and if ghosts will be there or if they won't be there no one visits the graveyard without the public being made aware due to the popularity of people passing by like what is he has 2.5 million subscribers his video called why do I talk like this it just looks like a normal dude that's like when people see me and they're like I didn't think your voice would match your face oh yeah yeah there is why does he talk like this oh he looks normal but he's definitely a robot Yeah, that's a robot

I like how this has just become us watching videos I get when I tune into a channel And a guy's like, hey there Today I'm gonna talk about RPGs Did you know that RPGs Are the number one form Of entertainment for role players Right, like, I get

Or the guy who's like, and now back to my new talk show. This is the thing. I get what they're trying to do because they heard it on the radio. This guy's like, I only watch pornos, and this is how I know how to talk from watching porn actors do their lines. That's his acting? He must know that it freaks people out And that's why he uses it, right? It's gotta be

Well, maybe something happened with his voice? No, I don't I refuse to believe that He's putting on a show Maybe it's just his voice No, but his normal voice in the video is just like Okay, so now I'm gonna talk to you about why I talk like that. It's just going to be like, this is just the way that I talk.

No, no, no one has that. His inflection is off. It's like if you were an alien trying to learn how to speak. You didn't get sentence and text, so you're just like, hello, fellow human. I am from Earth and definitely not from another planet. This thing is just like, this is how I've always talked. But I feel like what happened is he's done the swap of what I've done.

So back when you listen to me, even the first year we did this podcast for my old videos, I had this reflection or whatever you call it in my voice i'm like hello everybody it's me why i can't not play video games because i felt like i had to up it but now i've like become so old and worn that i just go time out how old are you exactly i'm 29 yeah all right all right just wanted you to state that for the record. Okay. I was old at 23. Now I'm like 90. All right. So now. All right. I've just become, I've like gone to where I normally should be, where I'm like, hey,

what's up? Like, I just talk like I normally talk now. Like any of my old videos or like old vlogs or anything I watch, it'll be like it's me well cred or like I have that weird like robot thing but now I mean you're not like hello there everyone today I want to talk to you about 15 scary things maybe that's my next phase I don't know could you maybe all right give me give me your next. What do you think your next phase is going to be? The next phase of Crandor. Hello, everyone.

How's it going? It's me, Wild Crandor, and welcome to Pointless Top 10 Scary Things in the World. Today's Pointless Top 10 Scary Things involves cemetery ghosts. These 10 cemetery ghosts will blow your mind. Number 10. Jim Bob Gravedigger. Jim Bob Gravedigger lives in South Florida.

He died from getting hit by a monkey on Monkey Mondays. That is scary. Now that you add the music in the background and then you have your voice, it's very scary. I'm not done yet. Oh, okay. Jim Bob Gravedigger went into the grave site.

His name is Jim Bob Gravedigger! Yeah. He went into the grave. They named him! No! Who named him Jim Bob Gravedigger? It's a series of unfortunate naming events that have led to his demise.

All right. Jim Bob Gravedigger was buried on june 22nd 2007 but on august 3rd 2007 his grave was missing and dug up people say that jim bob has been there digging up other graves every day in search of that monkey and seeking revenge now i'm done number four it just goes up and stay like number one number two oh my god i should do that i should start from number one and work towards the bad one no you should just do like, in no particular order, number 12,

number 15, number 2, number 5, number 8, number 1. That would be even creepier. You'll be like, why though? Then they'd be like,

well, one of these, I bet the eighth one's scarier than number one. I gotta find out. Right, yeah, exactly. No, just in their order. I should do that for, like, some videos. That's actually a great thing. I'm gonna do that.

I'm gonna incorporate it in some way. Oh, yeah, it's almost Halloween. I didn't think that. It's true. It's almost time for Halloween. I... Oh, my God. I was at the...

Oh. First off, I went to Target this past Halloween. I... Oh my god. I was at the... Oh. First off, I went to Target this past weekend. Let me tell you something. I've complained before about grocery stores on the weekend and how they're hellscapes. Oh, yeah. Target on the weekend is way worse. I thought I had seen hell.

I witnessed hell. There was literally toddlers alone walking around the store. It was parentless children walking around. There was a woman who kept, like, opening and sniffing all the deodorants. There was this guy who kept, like, ripping open boxes to try and find, like, the right item he was looking for. I was like, why isn't he looking at the labels what is it oh my god it was crazy it was true that's true i saw a lady at

starbucks and then she went up to the counter and she's like three coffees three coffees and the guy's like uh you want three just black coffees and she's like, latte, latte coffee, latte coffee. Oh, my God. There was a coffee in my Target. There's a coffee in my Target? I can't even think right now. There was a Starbucks in my Target. And a woman goes up and gets a mocha latte, I think she got. I don't know what she got. She was ahead of me.

And so we were waiting. The guy up at the counter goes, mocha frap? Mocha frap? And in his hand is a mocha latte. And the woman goes over to get it. And he's like, did you get a mocha frap? And she's like, no, I got a mocha latte. He looks down at it, clearly

reads the label, looks back up and goes, oh, I should have got a mocha frap. Puts it behind the counter and then starts making a frappuccino. And everyone's like, what the hell is this kid doing? And then he comes back and goes, mocha latte? Just puts it back up. The girl takes it and leaves.

And then we sit there as he puts a mocha frappe on the counter. He goes, mocha frappe? Mocha frappe? And nobody gets it because no one needed it. How high was that, man? Probably very high. Probably very. It was so bizarre.

It was the longest I've waited for a coffee ever. I've never. It was three guys. Here's what I've learned. Most Starbucks usually have, like, one insanely thin guy behind the counter and then three or four really peppy girls and they pound that shit out. Yeah. Thin man and his squad of sassy yet tough ladies always win every time.

That's true. This was three of the dumpiest, three definite potheads. I feel like they robbed, they broke in in the morning, stole the outfits off of people, and were like, what if we, like, pretend we work at Starbucks for the day? That's what it felt like. Knowing that, guys, like, dude, what if we work at this Dunkin' Donuts, like, all day? That's what I'm saying. It was so bizarre.

And so then I went around this Target and just, I couldn't handle it. I was so stressed by how awful everyone was. I just, I had a moment. I had to stop and just wait for people to pass me by. Because there was a group of people behind me who were just so loud and obnoxious. And they were like tweens Right? Right

And so I just pulled over the side of the aisle And just sat there and waited for them to go by And as they went by They just knocked over cans of soup And I was like Are you How do you even knock over cans of soup? With your hand

They like pushed them over on the floor And they were like I was like, oh my god I don't know Who is in charge here? I was looking for security cameras Like, who is in charge here? How is this target still functioning?

Maybe the whole place was taken Maybe this is one of those things where You know in a TV show or a movie or whatever When the base is taken over by Like bandits And the heroes come in and they're like Oh yes we're here for the tavern And the bandits are like yeah yeah come on inside

We definitely have drinks and stuff It's the exact same way I felt like maybe this entire target was taken over By hoodlums And I was just there at the time I don't get what the appeal is Of knocking over soup like is it yeah take that establishment is it like yeah that was wrong it's tin so it doesn't like break open

question mark i don't know like they can get away with it because it doesn't destroy it like dense that can i don't yeah but i'm i'm going deeper than that like why do they want to get away with it why even bother getting away with it? Is it the feeling of being like, I knocked over that soup, somebody else clean it up? Well, I think it has to do a lot with the fact that it's a Target attached to a mall. So you already have the asshole Saturday mall kids. So you have the mall kids walking around. Then you have the fact that unlike most mall stores stores it's not a small place it's a huge Big shopping thing

And so it has that Sort of corporate aspect to it And everyone this is why people steal mostly from Walmarts and stuff like that because People feel like if I steal from a big corporation They're not going to care or miss it Or if I damage something at a target They're not going to care it really doesn't matter

I think that's what they're going for, like mentally. It doesn't matter because, like, who the hell does it affect really? I think that's kind of what it is. But also, you know, people are assholes. Yeah. I mean, would they have done the same thing at, like, Goomba Steve's Soup Emporium? No. No, because Goomba Steve would kick their ass.

Yeah, that's true. Goomba Steve is violent. Goomba Steve, number 21. Goomba Steve would kick their ass. Yeah, that's true. Goomba Steve is violent. Goomba Steve. Number 21. Goomba Steve. Goomba Steve had a kid knock over a soup can in his store. That kid was never seen again. No traces of him were found, so no charges were filed.

Number 23. Kid Soup. Goomba Steve. They started selling kid's soup. No one knows where this soup came from. But it somehow started being sold right when that kid disappeared. Coincidence? I think not.

Yep. I asked the parents, that kid was an asshole anyway but his soup was delicious at least something good came out of them roasted wow that's like something to be in like the halloween episode of the simpsons yeah actually that was a halloween episode they ate the kids remember that is the sloppy joes was it sloppy mo's this one sloppy mo they're at the school cafeteria they kept taking kids They ate the kids Remember that? It was the Sloppy Joes Was it? Sloppy Moes This one's Sloppy Moes They were at the school cafeteria

They kept taking kids into the thing And they disappeared Oh, that's right So why do I know the name Sloppy Moes? I don't know I've never heard of that Sloppy Joe, Sloppy Moes Sloppy Moes

Sloppy Moe Why do I know that name? I don't know I've never heard of that Super Sloppy Joe's recipe Sloppy Moe's. It's a bizarre magazine in Kuwait. What?

Have I been to Kuwait? Sloppy Moe's. There's a Sloppy Moe's restaurant. That's what I said, but it's like, I see it. It's in Kuwait. It is in Kuwait. What the shit? That's what i said but it's like i see it it's oh yeah kuwait it is in kuwait what the shit that's what i'm saying this is so weird here's the thing you look at all these pictures there's never any people in these pictures oh wait no there's people you gotta go down far though all these people are dead now and in that meat. Although, let's be real, it looks

delicious. It does look pretty delicious. Some of it, their fries are a little like crazy for me. They look more like, I don't know, they're called cubes. Just like potato cubes. They have sloppy balls and you can get breakfast on a bun.

Wowee. Breakfast on a bun. I'm trying to find... Oh, there's people. Yeah, everyone seems like really happy. Yeah, you just gotta scroll down far enough and you hit it. And then they were like, we're gonna go back and just show photos of food.

Yeah, Sloppy Mo's is a place in Kuwait that I've never been. Or have I? Honestly, if you told me to find Kuwait on a map, I couldn't even find it. Where do you think it's at? Probably Africa. Am I wrong? Am I right?

You're like on a universal scale. I'm like the scale of the universe. You're very close. Oh, yeah. Look at that. That's like almost there. Almost? You're like you know a few like a few geographical degrees off but yeah you're there you're there. Oh yeah there it is. It's just it's like nestled away between all the Middle Eastern countries. It's like hey we're quite here. Just like nestled up in there. Oh, and there's Qatar. Yep.

That's where the oil barons live. Damn. Which we hope will come and support us. One day. Oil barons. If you're looking to be someone's sponsor, call us. Yes. What was I going to say?

Something about Halloween. Halloween shopping. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Haunted houses. What? Wait, what? No, because I was thinking when you said Halloween shopping, I was thinking of when I was at

Target and I saw these two little girls dancing with a skeleton. They were just dancing with it and the skeleton was like, boys and girls of February 8th. It was dancing. And these two little kids were dancing and I was like looking at them and then I look up and their dad was like giving me this like stank eye like what are you looking at my kids for? And I was like cause they're dancing like lunatics in the middle of a store dude. Calm down.

Oh yeah I was in Target and I went by the Halloween section and there was like a bunch of teenagers and they're just like hehehehe and they're like putting on the Halloween costumes. That's what I'm saying. Teens run amok in Target. It's a disgrace to the Target brand. Oh, yeah.

Then there was this like cat thing. Wait, hold on. What? Okay, I'm going to let you finish this. There's a cat thing and you pushed a button and its head would spin around and it would be like. Oh, I didn't see that.

All I saw was the fact that there was a boom box. And then when you touched it, it went like, hey, I have a spooky boom box. I was like, oh. I saw that. Spooky boom box. Spooky boom box. I have a spooky boom box. Wouldn't it be a boom box?

Come on. Come on. A boom box. A boom box. A spooky boom box. Number 15. A spooky boom box. Kids, trya. Number 15. A spooky boomba. Kids tried to play with Halloween toys in Target,

but they were warped into the spooky boomba, never to be seen again. Some say they operate the spooky boomba, and the noise coming out of it is their screams and cries for help. Wow, crank that boomb boom book I'm a creepy boom but the song was not good like hey there kids it's me let's sing the creepy boop us all I'm a creepy

boobah that's because it's not an actual radio frequency it's the kids screaming for help inside you're right right it's terrifying me it's so bad, it's terrifying. You're right. How foolish. What about haunted houses? What were you talking about? Oh, yeah.

I just remember hearing haunted house, and then I thought about haunted houses, and I was like, when's the last time you were actually to a haunted house? The last time I went to a haunted house was a real, a real? Yeah, like a real haunted house. I remember one time me and my family went on vacation when I was like 12. We went to some like middle of nowhere Illinois place for some reason. Oh, oh, wait a minute. You're talking about like a real, not like a haunted house that's like,

I'm a ghoul. You mean like a house where stuff came to life? I mean like either one. I'm just saying. I don't think I've ever been in a haunted haunted house I think I've only been to haunted haunted houses. I've never went to like a haunted Funtime house, you know wait what have you hold on? What's that? Have you had ghosts? Have you experienced ghosts? I? Don't know if I have hold on, Illinois. What was it called?

Have you are we learning that you've had a paranormal activity? Oh, yeah. This is Galena, Illinois. Number four. Trendor's paranormal activity. So in the far northwest of Illinois, like the border of Wisconsin and Iowa. If there weren't going to be ghosts anywhere, it would be there. You're right.

It's along the Mississippi River. uh there's galena illinois fun fact ulysses s grant uh i think like lived there or went there or something stop by stop by at one point galena small town northwest illinois known for its well-preserved 19th century buildings like the 1826 dowling house the italianati ulysses s grant home was a gift from local citizens to the civil war general who later became a u.s president uh so yeah uh it's got some history to it and i remember we went on some like ghost tour and they were just like this house was a civil war thing and they see just like, this house was a Civil War thing and they see this lady walking around. Now, I saw no lady walking around,

but apparently that's what people saw. Wait, I thought you said you stayed there. No, we like stayed in the town. We didn't stay in like a haunted thing. Oh, so you weren't even in the house. Well, we went into the house on the ghost tour. Yeah, but it wasn't even like it wasn't even haunted well yeah they said it was haunted though you're gonna trust them on that yeah

what come on no come on now what's like anything you can try don't like all the shows all the things there's a whole bunch of people that are like, this place is haunted. You gotta trust somebody or nobody. Maybe that's better. You gotta trust somebody or nobody. Yeah. I mean, overall, when you're 12 years old, it's very boring.

Honestly, it'd probably still be boring now. So, wait, last time you were in a scary thing was 12 years old? Yeah. Wow. For me, I was thinking about doing Haunted House like a fake one. That was when I used to live in Ohio still. I've gone to a few scary escape rooms, if that counts. I mean, I guess.

They could be haunted. You never know what happens. Someone could die in an escape room and no one would ever know. That's true. Number four, escape room tra no one would ever know. That's true. And they just... Number four. Escape room travesty. Travesty. Travis was in an escape room.

He couldn't escape. And that would stay the tune for his whole life. What a travesty. He haunts the escape room to this day. And if you can't finish the escape room, you'll be trapped there with him. All right, well, yeah, I mean, what else? What else is going on with you?

Let's see, what else is going on with me? I don't know. Did I tell the story of, let's see, Target? Let's see, people. Oh, yeah. We went to the pumpkin farm today, which was a terrible idea. Wait, why? So me and Toaster Woman were like, let's go to pumpkin farm.

And it was only a terrible idea because it's Sunday. And it's the middle of October on a Sunday, which is like prime. It was like. It was the target of pumpkin farms It was like a sporting event They had people directing Traffic They had people fighting over parking spaces

Everyone's honking That's very midwest There's like a giant ass line To get onto hay rides And the tractor thing They pull it Let's just come back on like tuesday when nobody's here so yeah but we uh i saw some people are lots lots of people

are just there with their kids being like what a little pumpkin pumpkin it's like it's a good pumpkin and they eat corn and you got your apple cider stuff and they got uh sounds like sounds like the midwest yeah they got um they had the hayride thing i think it's like old man oliver driving the tractor he's like i find everybody um i mean i didn't see him i just assumed right well of course yeah yeah and then uh everybody just buying shit And then many people just like Instagramming. There's just like people dressed up like they're going out to a fancy dinner just to like Instagram picture. They're just like standing in front of the pumpkins like, It's me. Here I am.

I just want to point out for the record. That's truly one of my biggest hatreds in the world. I remember there's somebody, we're in downtown chicago they like set up like by an alley and they're just they had like lights and everything just to take instagram pictures or something they're just standing there with lights on them in the middle of like an alley and i was like uh that seems like not the greatest place to take Instagram pictures. I don't know. What do I know?

Yeah. What do you? Number four. Instagram alley. This might not seem like the best place to take pictures. And it probably wasn't because all of them died. It's like it's the alley monster. Yeah. Otherwise known as Toothless Allen.

Toothless Allen, known as the alleyway monster, haunts alleyways where Instagram photo-seeking couples go. Couples? Why does it have to be couples? That's right. He does not like couples. Totally true. He has a camera, which he takes your picture with after you've taken a picture, encasing you in stone, where he then drags you to his cellar to rot away as a stone statue. As a stone, period.

As a stone. As a stone. He turns you into a stone and adds you to his delightful sculpture yard in the back. I feel like we've created enough random ass monsters now that somebody can make an entire Yule Lads book about them. We have a lot of...

I'm trying to remember what the one guy's name was. Koopa Steve. Yeah, Koopa Steve. He makes the soup. And the boomba And the boomba Let's see I mean aside from that

You know Nothing else Alright well I think it's the perfect time To move away from all that And talk about our sponsors this week Speaking of Talking there we go And needing help today's show is sponsored by talkspace the online therapy company lets you talk to actual therapists that will help

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And this is going to unlock that for you and sort of give you some insight into who you are. But it isn't just sleep. It relates to the rest of your body as well. What you should be eating, right? Everybody's different. We've talked about it on this podcast. The people who live to 95 eating only fat back and beer, right? Everyone's different.

So what does your body say about what you should be eating? What should you be ingesting to keep your machine running well? That's all built into your coding. Order 23 and me. Take my saliva. Don't all built into your coding. Order 23andMe. Take my saliva. Don't make it weirder than it has to be. Order your 23andMe health and ancestry service kit

at 23andMe.com slash Cox, C-O-X. That's the number 2-3-A-N-D-M-E dot com slash C-O-X. Find out about your DNA. All right. Let's go to chapter number 7. This is Kyle the Crandor. Crandor, how's that traffic out there? E.com slash COX Find out about your DNA Alright Let's go to chapter number 7 How's that traffic out there? Hey, traffic's good and that's probably the best Chapter copter intro

You've done in I think months So props on that Also, hey, traffic's Not looking too bad Everything's moving along, it's getting colder outside So it looks like a lot of people in those cars putting on jackets, putting on scarves, putting on scarves. I already said scarves. Putting on boots.

Actually, you don't really need boots yet, although I heard Denver had snow. That's some crazy shit, man. I mean, if you look out there, you see the snow falling over. It's, wow, too early for snow in my book, you know what I'm saying? But, uh, hey, we're getting close to a holiday. Should be fun. Get your holiday, uh, traffic belts ready. Because people are going to be flying all over.

They'll be driving all over, trying to get back to Grandma's house. Trying to get back to Aunt Goomba Jean's house. The wife of Goomba Steve, so you can have some of that delicious sloppy mo. Back to you. Thanks, Crendor. Number 42. Crendor said scarce one time.

Okay, well, what is happening in weather? Weather... I remember when I said scarce. yeah, I thought you said it again But you said scarf and I thought you're like it's scar so nothing what I blew your mind Oh, yeah, we're way a weather. Oh yeah, by the way, Rako, Michigan people came out in full force Susa Marie. Sousa Marie. Sousa Marie.

Sousa Marie. Yeah. Everyone came out and told us what was up. Sousa Marie, idiot. Yeah, I'm so dumb. I'm sorry. Here's the thing. I had no clue that the vast majority of our audience is in Reiko.

I had no clue. Reiko, I think five people live there. That's the vast majority of our audience. They live there. Well, they all live somewhere. They got to live somewhere. So, I mean, yeah, what's going on with the weather? Let's see if we can get another 23.

The mysterious population of Rako, Michigan. She's like, man, sometimes they're just nobody's there. What if they're all ghosts? If no one lives there, how come everyone was from there? Shit, dude. All right. Sorry, I was thinking about it. Hey, Woppy.

Woppy woppy activated seven five four nine two windham texas okay yeah i was like windham what windham texas tonight thunderstorms tomorrow monday rain 45 degrees fahrenheit tuesday rain 48 degrees fahrenheit wednesday cloudy 59 degrees fahrenheit thursday showers 60 degrees fahrenheit friday 59 degrees showers Fahrenheit Saturday a.m. Showers 65 degrees Fahrenheit Here's a question all right why does some of the days have showers and some of the days have rain? question I guess rain is like a showers like a like a and a rain it's like Right well it makes it seem like showers. I feel like, is more of a, like, and rain's more like a, but I don't know. Maybe, well, okay, so rain, I think it looks like it's like 90%, 100%.

Like, it's going to rain. And I think showers, it's like 40%, 60%, kind of like spotty showers all over. I think that's what it is. Yep. Like, rain, they're like i think that's what it is yep like rain they're like shit dude it's gonna rain but showers it's like it might be a shower here and there all right i think i cracked the code you would think i would know from reading this weather for six years but i don't sports what that was weather yeah now sports yeah but i say sports oh uh crendor what what are we gonna do next sports there we go you threw me off uh hey what up welcome to the sports desk a lot of sports

happening today although the main thing didn't happen yet which is the packers game which happens tomorrow um let's see so right now uh new eng England is beating Kansas City, as of this recording, 24-16 in the third quarter in pretty much the battle for who's the best team in football. The Eagles beat the Giants. The Ravens shut out the Titans. Dallas blew out the Jaguars. What are you doing, Jacksonville? The Rams beat the Broncos and remain undefeated.

They might even be the best team in football. Washington beat Carolina. Seattle blew out Oakland, who's very bad. The Jets beat the Colts. Vikings beat the Cardinals. Bears lost in overtime to Miami, which is kind of sad because Miami almost won in overtime. And then they fumbled.

Then the Bears got the ball, then they missed a field goal, then Miami got it back, then they kicked a field goal and won in great fashion. Then, Houston beat Buffalo in a battle of bad teams. Cleveland lost to the Chargers. Bengals lost to the Steelers in the last play

of the game pretty much. Atlanta beat Tampa Bay and Packers play tomorrow. As for other sport, we have... As for the other sport, now we go to Russian

Bear Wrestling. It's Russian Bear Wrestling. You're at baseball stadium. Today, we have Dodgers play Brewers in Wisconsinisconsin versus los angeles it is tied at one series that is uh then we have boston and houston houston leads one nothing in that series and it will not be tied for long if you know what i'm saying i hear what you're saying it's a boston six four right now in game two bottom seventh inning

So it looks like could be tied one one very soon What uh-huh? Okay. Yeah, and then a Basketball set to get started so people like basketball to be starting up on Tuesday the regular season and then hockey has also started So we're in that stage of sports where every sport is happening so this is like prime sports uh prime sports time if you will prime time sports time and might i add all right the blackhawks eight points tied in first place and believe it or not the buffalo sabers have six points and they are in third place. Could it be that the Buffalo Sabres, for the first time in 20 years,

are a decent team? Probably not. They'll probably fall off. No. The answer's no. But who knows? They could surprise us. Yeah.

They've been bad long enough that you never know. Anything's possible. And that is sports. All right. Well, what is our big news story of the day big news story of the day before we get into that i want to show you something there you go this is the florida man uh dnd chart i see i see and i want D&D chart. I see, I see. And I want you to say which one you are. Okay, so let's see here. There's chaotic good as Florida man fired from documenting

six months worth of farts at work. Yep. That's chaotic good. True neutral Florida man who survived shark attack has also been bitten by rattlesnake, struck by lightning, and punched by a monkey. Very nice.

Very nice. Neutral evil. Florida man arrested at local park for practicing karate on swans. I mean, yeah, I kind of get that. Chaotic evil. Golf cart driving Florida man tries to blow up neighbor's chickens with homemade whiskey bomb during dispute over BB gun.

Very good. I like this one. Lawful neutral. Florida lawyer's pants spontaneously combust during arson trial. That's very funny as well. There's the lawful evil Florida man charged with trying to barbecue sex offenders. Man, all these neutral good. Florida woman gets okay to keep Rambo, her clothes-wearing alligator.

You know what? I'd be neutral good. I'd be that neutral good. I'd fight to keep a clothes-we wearing alligator. You know what? I'd be neutral good. I'd be that neutral good. I'd fight to keep a clothes wearing alligator. I feel like I would probably, let's see, which one of these would I be? You'd be true neutral. Don't pretend. You'd be Florida Man Survival Shark Attack.

That's true. I am true neutral. Bit by a snake, stuck by lightning, and punched by a monkey. I would. And you know what i would still vote for monkey mondays to keep going even after that that's how neutral you are you're so true neutral that is a prime true neutral if i've ever seen one well that's good all right what is our story all right story coming at you why did an octopus wielding seal slap a kayaker in the face what okay sure yeah this is a story uh editor's note this story was updated to include additional information about the identity of the marine mammal okay uh it was a seal not a sea lion okay a seal smacks

a kayaker with an octopus in the video capturing the unlikely encounter quickly becomes a viral sensation. The conflict between man and beasts happened off the coast of New Zealand's South Island. Tayo Masuda, Kyle Mullinder, and friends were going to paddle off the coast of Kakura. Masuda's camera follows the seal as it zips beneath the ocean surface and pops up a couple feet from mulinder and flings an octopus his way whoa he shouts as mulinder shakes his head and looks back into the water i'm not sure who got more of the surprise the seal the octopus or me he wrote on instagram but what was the mammal up to for answers we turn to two scientists who know something about what makes a sea lion tick uh colleen reichmuth a principal

investigator and associate research scientist at the university of california santa cruz institute of marine scientists uh and peter cook an assistant professor the smart person first off they wanted to say that the pinnipied in the question was the sea lion not a seal cook guesses the star of the show might be a new zealand sea lion based on the seal. Cook guesses the star of the show might be a New Zealand sea lion based on the whereabouts, but he couldn't be completely sure from the video alone. Sea lions and fur seals belong to the otterid family and are sometimes called eared seals.

Unlike true seals, however, they have an external ear flap and big front flippers, which allows them to be more active on land. Wait, so what does this have to do with the seal lion or whatever it is? Slap on this dude! That's what I'm trying to get at. He didn't even slap on me.

Octopus slapped him. Behaviorally, Cook says sea lions are more outgoing than seals and have more flexible foraging ecology, meaning that they eat a wider variety of things. Crabs, squid, octopuses, really anything. Sea lions also eat their prey in much less predictable ways. It might be sea lions' tendency to play in much less predictable ways it might be sea lions tendency to play that gives them their complex feeding behaviors sea lions spend anywhere

from nine months to two years with their mothers before venturing out on their own during that period they are fed at being fed milk by their mother and have a lot of free time which they used to play uh so was the marine mammal just playing with the octopus? Well, it's hard to say, Cook says, but it's possible. They do like the food. Wait, he was just, like, chilling and playing with it? Yeah. I guess he was just playing with the octopus, which is like... But, wasn't the octopus, like, it's not like playing with its food?

I guess it could be, yeah. Uh, Cook says he has witnessed sea lions in captivity playing with leftover food after finishing a meal for half an hour so a sea lion might throw a piece of fish up and down playing catch with itself for cook a sign that this marine mammal might have been messing around with the octopus is that after the smacking incident it circles back swimming very slowly the way it turns and flops its flipper tells cook that it's pretty relaxed and sea lions are not usually relaxed when they're chasing down food the behavior in the video is pretty normal behavior for a sea lion that is feeding on prey that is too big

to swallow whole sea lions don't have grinding teeth so while they can hold onto a slippery fish or octopus so so it's this is not cute at all this is a seal brutally assaulting an octopus and then using a man as like a rock to kill the octopus. Yes. This isn't cute at all. This isn't cute at all. There's the video. It's on NPR.

Oh, he comes right up and gets him. Yeah, he just comes right up and swaps him. Yeah. So basically, I think that's like a two birds, one stone thing. That'd be like if someone came into your house and you were making like a chicken, right? Yeah. And then I'd take that chicken. you'd throw that at that person. The chicken would be a weapon.

Yeah. Same thing. I think that's what happened here. Yeah. So it's just one of those things like you're in their territory, you're swimming around, and they're just like, hey, I'm just going to get out of here. And he just throws his octopus at him. Damn right.

He bops you with it. Yeah. I'm down with that. I'm down with that. I appreciate that That seal's doing it right If anything we can have seal Sundays Exactly

Exactly That's the craziest news we got for today On a slow news day Alright well That's it for us everybody Thank you so much for watching And we'll be back soon with another episode. Before we do that, Crendor, hit them with the socials.

I said watching, even though it's a podcast. I don't know what's going on. I'm too old for this. Just go with it. Twitch.tv slash Jess Cox. Twitch.tv slash Crendor. Twitter.com slash Jess Cox. Twitter.com slash Crendor.

Soundcloud.com slash Cox and Crendor. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast. If you want to listen to the podcast. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast If you want to listen to the podcast YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor If you want to see the animations There's the new animation you go check it out It's got us being dumb with intros We talked about earlier you go check that out

iTunes.com slash Cox and Crandor I don't know if that's the actual thing Just search Cox and Crandor on iTunes Well like I said Thanks for watching and listening, most importantly. And we'll see you next time. So as always, to be continued.