Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 169 - These Jobs Suck!

Episode Date: October 22, 2018

The boys are back and this time they've gotten themselves into.... nothing really. Boy are they boring. Thankfully there are billions of other much more interesting people in the world for them to watch and interact with. Also we delve back into the world of terrible Yahoo news articles! What wonderfully useless tips do they have for us this time?! All this and more on this brand new episode of Cox n' Crendor! Try Hims for $5 at forhims.com/coxED Get 15% off your first pair at meundies.com/crendor

Today's episode is brought to you by me, undies! We love those undies and putting them on me. Yes. Also! Yes, that is affirmative. I agree. Today's episode also brought to you by hymns! If you are looking to improve your male wellness, that is a good place to start.

We'll talk about it later, but first let's jump into this podcast. Live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, live, yes, Wado? Is that you? It's a great morning. Hey! You can't stop Sebulba. Nobody beats Sebulba. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Little Annie, sure you are my slave, but it's cute.

I sell your mom to, you know, the crazy man. Yes, I sold her because, remember, you're a slave, and that's a really creepy part of this movie. Like, no one talks about that. That's like a dark part of that movie. It is a weird, creepy part of the movie.

Yep. All right, hi. Moving on from that very quickly. Hello. Yes. How are you doing? Man, I'm doing great. I have soup waiting for me at home. This weekend we made a very spicy chicken, sort of a south of the

border chicken soup. Ooh. Yeah, and it's in a crock pot right now, and I can't wait to get home. We went to, can I tell you something? So first off This weekend was sort of like a date weekend Right? So I've been seeing Lasagna girl for a while now Everything's great

She's still sticking with me Still cooking me food Everything's going fantastic And so We were trying to find stuff to do this weekend and so usually on sunday we like meal prep some stuff and do that whole thing and uh today we went to costco because she's like let me tell you about costco they have the best rotisserie chicken i was like i don I don't know that I believe that. She's like, trust me on this. So now you left Costco a few weeks ago

being like, this place is dumb. I'm never going back. Now you're going in the Costco. A woman got me to go back, but it wasn't... Trust me, when I was in, when I finally went inside the Costco, I realized I made the right choice not becoming a member.

Because it's overwhelming. There are so much, and everything there looks like a good deal. Yeah. But also I'm like, why would I need 800 slices of cheese for $8? As much as I want that, I don't need that. Gotta feed the family. And so we went around and we got

they had fresh hot baguettes. I was like, oh my god. So I got some of that for the soup. And then we got a bunch of the stuff we would need for the soup. Yeah, that was pretty much it. Oh, and I I got some of that for the soup. And then we got a bunch of the stuff we would need for the soup. Yeah, that was pretty much it. Oh, and I bought a bunch of coffee for the office. I bought those little K-cups of Starbucks Winter Brew or whatever the hell it was called

for the office. I was like, people will thank me. But yeah, that was like a thing. I realized I hated it and I never wanted to go back. But then we just made soup. It was like a fun Sunday, making soup. It was like a fun Sunday, making soup. It was great. I cut onions.

Don't do that very often. I'm being very domesticated in my ways. Dang, you cut onions? I know. That's crazy. I know. I'm doing it like a chef, too. So, yeah.

With the whole like, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop. Very good. Yeah, but also it's because I feel like I was slightly Emasculated Emasculated I was very emasculated No I was emasculated the night before Because we were going to go out

And I think we had gotten it in our Minds that we wanted to go bowling Because we've always been like let's go bowling We never do So we wanted to go bowling except she didn't wear shoes that Needed Socks So she had like sandals on and

So we realized As we were like on the way oh No you don't have any like anything To put on your feet And so she's like well I'm not going bowling If I don't have anything to put my feet Because I don't want those dirty shoes on me. And I was like, I think you may be the one.

I was like, oh, thank God. You don't want to do that. Yeah, I would never do that. Right. So instead we went to Dave and Buster's because we were like, let's go drink and play games then. Dave and Buster's got some booty ass games right now. Most of them didn't work. Most of it was pretty bad.

got some booty ass games right now. Most of them didn't work. It was pretty bad. But the games that we did play, Mario Kart, I lost all three times at the last minute. I was leading the entire race. She beat me the last minute all three times. The motorcycle racing game, she beat me.

The Tomb Raider game, she beat me. Every game we played, Skee-Ball, beat me. The only game I beat her on was a deal or no deal game where I won the most money. That was it. That was pure luck.

That was just pure chance. Every other game, she stomped me on. We did bowling. They have like a fake bowling thing where you, let's say, kind of like VR bowling almost or whatever, alternate reality bowling. Right.

Yeah, no. I think she was like on a former bowling team or whatever, alternate reality bowling. Right. Yeah, no. I think she was like on a former bowling team or some shit because I got destroyed. It was not – nothing I could do. I couldn't win. I simply couldn't win. And it was – yeah, I realized like, oh, okay, well, I guess that's it now. I've officially become so old I can't win at video games anymore. Yep.

That means could you win back in the day? I mean, let's not look back to the past. Let's not reflect on what has been. Let's look to the future. Yeah, it's not important. Yeah, it's not important. Yeah, so I learned a lot about myself, and I learned I probably shouldn't challenge people to games

thinking I'm better than when I am. Definitely not. I was terrible. After he's talking about cooking up food, I want to ask, how did you learn to cut that onion? Are you self-taught, or did you watch videos? No, I was asked

by said lasagna lady to cut it a few weeks ago, and I sucked. She was like, that's not how you do it. Then she taught me. I am chef she was like, that's not how you do it. And then she taught me. So I am like chef taught, we'll say. Does that work? I was wondering because I learned how to

cut an onion from Gordon Ramsey on YouTube. Yeah, I'm sure I could have, but the way I thought was right was terrible and didn't work. And she's like, no, do it like this, dummy. And I was like, it does work. Yeah, I just a lot of my cooking knowledge is just gordon ramsay videos he's like all right bloody idiot let's show you how to chop an onion and then he's just like slice slice slice put slices here plus slices here

dice at the root and that's it yeah i mean that's kind of the way I'm doing it. Except, you know, no one can see exactly what you're doing, but the sound is the same. Yeah. I'm telling you. Just go look up Gordon Ramsey. Are you doing it right now? Are you looking it up right now? Where is it? Onion.

Gordon Ramsey Onion. Gordon Ramsey Onion? Just go look that up, and you'll see how I cut an onion in one minute. He also has five basic cooking skills you can master In seven minutes I wish I had the seven minutes to master all those basic cooking skills Yeah no I uh Yeah I've been doing a lot of like cooking

Like at home and stuff I go ahead and specify that Like at home and stuff I've been cooking down by the boardwalk Out on the street Uh yeah cooking's fun I've been cooking down by the boardwalk out on the street uh yeah cooking's fun i've been cooking a lot too it's uh it's just like everything feels like it's fresh because you're preparing it yourself and not like going to a restaurant being like give me the thing and they're just like here you go the problem is is most of the time recipes are like cooking for families and stuff.

And 90% of the time it's just me. Yeah. So I always feel weird making a lot because if I don't get home, if I prep for the week, and I don't, you know me, I'm at the office way too much. If I don't get home sometimes, then I miss out on eating that stuff. Or I will totally forget and I'll just sit in the fridge. And I feel terrible just wasting food. So I don't know.

That's why we used to do meal preps of chicken and rice and Crandor food, right? And then it got to the point where I was like, what if we just make a soup during the week? And I can just eat. That seems so much easier. Yeah. of soup during the week and I can just eat like that seems so much easier yeah I mean really I think as long as you're eating like foods where you know what's in it you're like pretty well off and then like crockpots crockpots are great crockpots man I a few weeks ago I had like a sauerkraut pork thing and oh yeah oh my. We made a broccoli cheese rice... A broccoli cheese

soup? A broccoli cheese rice? A broccoli cheese soup? That was very good. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Let's just do, like, a crockpot week. I mean, that's what I'm doing. I have a whole week's worth of spicy soup. Yeah. Mama Mia. Mm-hmm. I'm feeling

good about it. Crockpot. It's the way of the past and the future Well It's like there's so many things It's easy because you just cut up your ingredients And your food and then you just throw it in And you're like alright go Yeah

And you just wait I want to do like a chili Or some sort of sloppy joe thing One time Just get real gross with it Yeah I'm excited Like a chili or some sort of sloppy joe thing one time. Just get real gross with it. Yeah, I'm excited. Yeah.

I made chili all the time in my crock pot. It's great. Mm-hmm. But now I can't. You got too much Harper. Yeah, I know. You would die now. But there was a time when you could have done that all the time. Yes, and I did.

And then now I can't. But I know what I wanted to ask you. Mm-hmm. Yes, and I did, and then now I can't. But I know what I wanted to ask you. So on your Twitter, you tweeted about the crazy man in his car eating yogurt and listening to Coast to Coast. I wanted to hear the story in words, not just text. Sure. I pulled up early. I don't know what day that was, just early in the morning, i uh didn't even notice him as i got out to get coffee so i jumped out went to the starbucks got my coffee came back out and as i came back

out this dude in a you know a really crappily beat up pickup truck was sitting next was in the parking space next to me and his windows were rolled down. His shirt was just off. He had on like a ball cap with crazy hair underneath it. And he was sitting there drinking what I assume was Starbucks coffee, but in his own thermos and listening to coast to coast. But obviously since it was in the morning, it had to have been the special podcast version. And he was just sitting there like, mm-hmm, yep, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

And I was just like, this is Crandor. This guy is Crandor. And he was just – he was blasting it. And it's just, you know, George being like, next up, the numbers, lady. And, you know, I just thought it was really funny. So I jumped in the car and was like, oh, my God, this guy is Crandor. Was it like a live show? It had to be pre-recorded.

It wasn't like 3 a.m. That's what I'm saying. It had to have been the podcast version, like the thing you have, like the Coast special thing. The Coast special. They always get there like only five cents a day. Yes, that's pretty much, I think that's what he had. And then he was eating yogurt.

But it wasn't like yogurt with fruit. It was just plain old yogurt. And not even in a cup that said Yo Player, Chobani, or whatever. It was just a container. Like he brought a container of his own yogurt to eat outside of a Starbucks and just nod along. Maybe he crafted that yogurt. Maybe he made it himself.

He could have made that yogurt. I don't know, but it was very, the whole image was just very, yes, this is who would listen to Coast to Coast at 9 a.m. on a weekday. Yes, of course. That probably will be me. I'm not even going to get ahead of myself.

Yeah, no, you shouldn't. You shouldn't pretend that's not going to be you. He's like, mm-hmm, yep, yep, yep, mm-hmm. One day you're eating yogurt in your house and you're eating on the sidewalk, then you're eating it in a parking lot. Yep. The slow progression. Then yogurt eats you.

Then you become yogurt. The living manifestation of yogurt. It's just, yeah. The cycle of life. The cycle of life. It's just, yeah. The cycle of life. The cycle of life. It's just yogurt. Yep. What did I do this week?

What did you do this week? I did go to Ikea. Bought a big ass thing for the wall. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's that mean? Hold on. Time out. Time out.

What is a big ass thing? Like a picture. Uh-huh. Of what? It's like a – it's of – which one? I think it's like mountains and stuff. Well, they have like a bunch of nature pictures. They also got like non-nature ones, but I like the nature ones.

Can I look this up? Can I look up what you bought? Yeah, hold on. Ikea painting. There's like a gorgeous redhead. Oh, my God. Why don't I have this on my wall? Mama mia, pasta la pizza.

So let's see. I think it's this one. The build poster. Build poster? Maybe it's this one. Maybe it's not. I'll show you there. I think it's that one.

Uh, maybe it's this one. Maybe it's not. It's, uh, I'll show you there. I think it's that one. That's just like a big-ass poster, like, thing you put on the wall. Oh, that's kind of like your, um, Wilson Fisk wall painting where you just stare at it until you find calm. Yeah. That's what I'm going to do.

That's what I plan on doing. Really? You're just going to look at that and be like, hmm. Yes. I need to find my calm place to start meditation. Yeah, sure. I mean, good on you, I guess. Yeah. So that's a good plan.

I like it. And then, you know, went to the container store, obviously. I didn't buy anything at the container store. Went to the grocery store. How was the grocery store? Well, bought store uh what'd you do at the how was the grocery store well bought groceries a lot of them uh right one thing did you know that red baron makes like breakfast pizzas i did not know that but i can't imagine they're any good right i don't know i i was looking at the thing and said they're good and it's like I guess a breakfast pizza it's just like

breakfast toppings on the pizza mini pizzas but I feel like if it's eggs wouldn't it just be dried out by the time you cook the pizza I mean I don't know I didn't try it maybe I should try it there's gotta be somebody I'll report back

I'll try it I'll report back there's probably gonna be people in the comments like i love the breakfast beats and it may be great it may be great but or it could be crap yeah um so hopefully that's good and doesn't uh you know destroy my digestion and then i mean sure yeah uh i don't know i've been making i've've been trying to make side dish things where you can just eat them throughout the week kind of like if you made a beet salad

or something and you just eat beets the whole week yeah I get it I mean I don't get that but I get it I get the concept I think the beets thing is crazy but you know I mean outside of that nothing really happened this week.

It's another boring week. But I love boring weeks. A week where nothing happens is a week that I like. It's very true. I mean, it's better than crazy shit happening. I guess that's true. Although it does make for worse stories. But I think every story can be interesting from its own angle.

Yeah. Sure. Yeah, okay. stories but i think every story can be interesting from its own angle uh yeah i'm sure yeah okay but maybe not oh i uh the one night i was at a like a restaurant thing is for it's like whatever all the sports games were on so i was like oh let's get a chicken sandwich here so i went there i got a chicken sandwich there's like two meatball guys next to me and they're just talking about everything really loud and he'd be like come on hit the ball hit the ball oh my god that guy when he gets out there let me tell you what he's got the speed to get to the ball he's just got to work out his glove work and he's like yep yep go work on that glove work and then they would pause and he'd be like i'm glad mary ann's off the painkiller she was that's a problem i was like oh god and he's like yep my friend my friend bob painkillers too took him

years to get off those i was like oh god then he would pause. He's like, you mean like that hydrocodone stuff, right? Like that? And then he just wouldn't respond. I don't think he wanted to. But then he paused and they're drunk enough where he's like, kind of like that hydrocodone stuff, right? Then he repeated it. And the guy's like, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

And then they'd pause again and be like, oh, this guy's good at batting. He bats like a 370. That sounds like every conversation men have between each other. When they're trying to get to a point where they're like, we're going to have a real talk about something that really matters to our lives. And then they're just like, so how about sports to change the subject from this awkwardness? Yeah, it pretty much is. Just like, yeah, man, that sucks.

That's terrible. yeah it pretty much is just like yeah man that sucks oh look there's something to take my mind off this really that's a lot of life too you just want things to take your life off or take your take my life off take my life off yeah you just want things that'll take your mind off stuff. You're like, hey, nice. I mean, that's what I did. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like it was kind of a, my computer broke this week. So really, I, like it died. My computer died.

And so I didn't break. We had a crazy lightning storm here in LA that was insane. Like you could see that lightning arc through the sky and stuff. It was awesome. Not awesome for my computer, though. Somehow, it got through the surge protector and just fried it. My computer got fried.

I thought it was supposed to protect those surges. I'm aware. So I went out and bought a new surge protector, too, because I was like, this thing's garbage. So, yeah, that sucks so i didn't order a new one and uh i went a little overboard i went a little overboard with my new purchase it's a little too much but it's like an industrial surge protector uh well i mean yeah it's one of those ones that the power lasts

Even after all the power goes out or something Oh wow So it has another hours worth of power In case you need to save files I'm like oh my god what would I need to save Damn that's insane I want one of those But I probably won't need it

It looks like a giant real generator It looks huge It has it's own monitor on it So you can see it It looks like a giant real generator. It looks huge. It has its own monitor on it. So you can see it. I was like, this is never happening again. I'm going to be ready to go. Well, at least you're prepared. I am prepared.

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go to chopper cover seven sky with you how's it going up there crendor uh hey it's me i'm up here in the sky what do you know uh yeah what's going on everybody just uh flying around up here I haven't actually been paying attention to the traffic I'm just uh taking a nice break from that looking out over the ocean uh very nice I see some sea lions down there barking uh I hear fish hopping around out of the water must be salmon season see uh you know some crazy stuff there's a guy in a boat he's been sailing in circles for a while not sure what he's doing probably trying to summon some demonic entity out of the water.

I'll have more in a later report. Back to you. Thanks, Crandor. Now let's head over to the weather desk. How's that weather? Weather Hey. Welcome to the weather desk. Yeah.

Thanks. thank you Alright, let's say 94564 Yes sir 94564 That's Pinol, California Good ol' Pinol Good ol' Pinol

Pinolay? It's probably like Pinolay I'm gonna call it Pinol Over in Pinol It's probably like Pinole. I'm going to call it Pinole. All right. Over in Pinole, it's 57 degrees. Clear. Feels like 57.

High, low 50. Might need a jacket out there, but not too bad. Hourly, we're looking at staying the same throughout the morning. But then you go into the 10 day, and we've got some 67, 68, 73, 75, 80, 78, 73, 75, 77, 76, 75, 72, 70, and 68. Hike! So, yeah, it looked pretty good. Got some rain mixed in there, but mostly cloudy, sunny skies over in Pinole, California. And nice. Looking pretty good.

All right. Well, what's going on in sports? Sports. Sports. Sports. We got a World Series set. We've got the Los Angeles Dodgers taking on the Boston Red Sox in the World Series, so that should be a good one.

We also have NHL stuff going on, a bunch of teams playing in hockey. NBA started up, a bunch of basketball. This is like the best time of year if you're a sports fan because every sport is happening at the same moment. and every year we come to this point yep it's prime sports time uh and then i believe football uh we had some games we had the uh let's see titans lost to the chargers in england that game was played in England. A woman got hit in the head with a football. That's pretty much all I saw of the game. I did not see that.

I'm going to have to look that one up. Yeah, there's a news reporter who's broadcasting from the field, and you can see in the background he throws just a really far throw, and the dude who's trying to catch it gives up. He's like, I'm going to miss that. And it just appears moments later hitting her in the head. It's incredible. And then she just takes it in stride. keeps reporting and you're like damn girl keep at it

damn only a minor concussion uh let's see colts beat the bills bears lost to the patriots i saw that they did a hail mary at the end and they got like they got it on the one yard line and they couldn't get into the touchdown thing so it's like a classic bears play uh buccaneers law or no buccaneers beat the browns browns were yes the browns almost looked like they were gonna win and they did not team they've either won or almost won this whole season i'm telling you they're gonna have a breakout uh breakout game and then they're gonna go i strongly disagree. But alright. They've already got more wins this year than they have the last like 30 games combined.

Let's see. Texans beat Jaguars. Lions beat Dolphins. Vikings beat Jets. Panthers beat the Eagles. Saints beat the Ravens because the Ravens missed an extra point after they scored to tie the game and then they just missed the extra point. The guys made 222 extra points out of 222 until

now. And then the Chiefs destroyed the Bengals as the Chiefs continue to destroy everybody. Rams beat the 49ers. Raiders, Seahawks, Steelers, Packers had a bye week. They were off this week. Thank God. I can't see the Steelers fail anymore. My heart just can't take it. Packers and Steelers are

actually the same. They're both 3-2-1. Three wins, two losses, and a tie. It's hard out there for a fan. Absolutely disgusting. Absolutely. Absolutely. And the Redskins beat the Cowboys as well. And that is the sports.

All right, Grandeur. What is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. All right, Crandor. What is our big news story of the day? All right. Big news story of the day. I got a few of them. All right. I'm ready. I'm ready.

I was prepared. I wanted to bring it back to Yahoo. So I did my research. Oh, boy. First story we got. Oh, boy. So first up, we've got 10 things never ever to tell your manager. Oh, my God.

Wait, manager what? Just manager in general? Just your manager. Oh, my God. Wait, manager what? Just manager in general? Just your manager. All right. Let's do this. This is from Liz Ryan. Number one. Is this even a news story?

Or is this just someone named Liz Ryan? No, this is her news story. 10 things never ever tell your manager. Okay, sure. Number one, never tell your manager when you're job hunting unless there are special circumstances your manager has coached you to job hunt for some reason is the only exception yeah why would you tell the person that you work for that you're gonna go look for a new job yeah i know you only do that after you have the job don't be a dummy

don't do that they'll be like fine we Don't be a dummy. Don't do that. They'll be like, fine. We don't even know what you hear. What a tip. Number two, never tell your manager about your long-term career plans if they would disrupt your manager's vision for how his or her department should now be staffed. There's no benefit in telling your boss, two years from now when my husband finishes school, we're going to move back to Philadelphia.

Don't do it. Once you are tagged as a short- timer, you will be marginalized and vulnerable to any cutbacks that come along. That's true. They'll get your ass. Also, it comes as a shock and a little bit strange to me that that's one of the tips, but also when you go to an interview, they're like, where do you see yourself in five years? Right?

They just want you to be like, moving up in this company, of course. That's exactly what they want to hear. That's the real tip. Like, doing the best I can for you, sir. One day I can become a manager and interview people and give them the dream

job. Yeah, as you rise to the ranks, sir, I would like to do so underneath you i could feel like i could be a really positive manager under your uh leadership like that kind of bs yeah and then a week later they're like hired and they like post on facebook like man my job sucks manager's an idiot and then they comment they're like hello clarissa i am reading this yep uh never tell your manager anything you heard in confidence from another employee unless it is a safety-related issue. Even if your manager is dying to hear the news and thanks you profusely for sharing it,

he or she is also smart enough to know that if you give up other people's secrets, your manager can't trust you. Yeah. Don't gossip at work. There you go. There's your lesson. There's your lesson. There's your lesson. Never tell your manager personal financial situations. If you are struggling to make ends meet,

your manager may worry that you'll leave for a higher-paying job. Or that you're corruptible by the kingpin, one of the two. Yeah. I've watched a lot of Daredevil this week. Number five, never tell your manager your personal drama. When people are bored, they will happily listen to friends and family gossip, but later they will wonder, why is this employee's life always in turmoil? Get your advice and moral support from somebody else, not your supervisor.

Yeah, we have a sponsor for that. Yeah, we do. We can't mention them because they're not sponsoring this week, but we have a sponsor for that. Yeah, we do. We can't mention them because they're not sponsoring this week, but we have one of those. There's always someone out there who's willing to listen. Also, look at this picture they use. What? Okay. She's just like, hmm, and everyone's like,

look at her. That's really funny. This poor woman's just like, my life is in ruins, and the guy's in the background is pointing at her. Look at her. This woman over here is like, she's a mess. What a terrible picture. What a terrible stock photo.

All right. Never tell your manager that you don't like the company or don't respect the leadership team. Yeah, no shit. Yeah, what? Okay. Never tell your manager that they need to deal with another employee's issues. If your manager doesn't have a problem with one of your coworkers,

then your job is to back off and practice your deep breathing. It depends on what the coworker is doing. If the coworker is rubbing his ding-dong on your ass all day, you should go to the manager. Yeah. Oh, they do say, unless they concern safety or another serious issue your co-workers challenges are none of your business i mean it's like just use common sense the article okay common sense right uh never tell your manager that unless x or y happens you will

quit your job no one likes an ultimatum. I don't know. No one likes an ultimatum. I don't know. I mean, if there's always pee on the toilet seat, maybe you should be like, if you don't fix that, I'm going to leave. Yeah. I don't want to have to deal with pee on the toilet seat all the time.

That's a problem in this office. Yeah. Sometimes you got to go there, all right? Yeah. Is there a caveat on this one that's like except and there's people on the toilet seat no it's the shortest one it's just it's just that there's also this this is wrong there's also another stock picture there there you go one of those people is like really focused on solving the problem and the other is the guy staring at that woman's boobs that's what i first noticed she's just like are you looking at the work and he's

just like the look at the boobs stock photos classic stock photo classic stock photo uh number nine never tell your manager that you want his or her job even by saying one day i'll like i'd like to have a job like yours. Far in the future, of course. Oh, so I was wrong. So you don't want to go in the interview. Basically, what you want to say is, put me wherever the company desires me. Yeah.

Or some weird ass shit like, okay, all right, sure, whatever. Yeah. They also, I love these. There's another one. It looks like he's like, oh, yes, okay, resume, resume. What else should i put on here these stock photos are really bad he's just like they're not good yeah what's my name he's just thinking really hard wait was that for the i'm gonna be a manager one

yeah why it's just a guy thinking about like really hard about writing something i know that's why i'm like i don't get it all right and number 10 never tell your manager that you feel overqualified and stuck in your job sometimes managing your own career takes up and who who wrote this was it an office manager who wrote this who is this by exactly because this sounds like, don't ever try to do anything. Just be a nice grunt. Liz Ryan of Forbes. Oh, Liz Ryan of Forbes manages offices.

She was a Fortune 500 HR SVP for 10 million years, but was an opera singer before she heard of HR. Yeah, no, she sounds terrible. And then, wait, hold on. My book, Reinvention Roadmap, Break the Rules to Get the Job You Want and the Career You Deserve is here. But she just said don't break the rules. That's what I'm saying. She just wrote our book,

not break the rules. She got a book that says break the rules. Which one is it? This is exactly the kind of thing you'd expect from an opera singer slash pr like hr manager yeah it makes no sense like you got to break that mold you know shatter the thing but don't go too far out that mold you know obey the rules don't talk to your manager it's like what are you what are you talking about like i, it's exactly the thing you can expect from a hopper singer turned HR

manager. Absolutely. Oh my god. She's also got an article from three months ago called The Moment I Realized I Was Working for an Idiot. See? This goes back What if your manager's an idiot?

Oh, this is some... We got conned into this article. We, this is some. We got conned into this article. We got conned hard. We got conned. Oh, she doesn't know what she's talking about. Get me out of here. We got Genghis conned. We got Genghis conned.

The other one I want to do was a classic Yahoo article. 13 of the best jobs you can do from home. Okay. All right. This is a classic Yahoo. All right. Yeah, this sounds like a good yahoo article all right all right let's see what we got here we have the job airbnb host what perfect for someone what was the title of this thing called again 13 of the best jobs you can do from home. How is opening your house to people who are literally just there to damage it?

How is that good? How is that good? I don't know. And then you would have to go to a guest house or something? You have to cater to the whims of hipsters who show up to your place and are like, They don't have the right shampoo in the shower. And there were enough towels for me and my eight friends staying in this one bedroom. One star.

Yeah, are you kidding me? Oh, that sounds terrible. Already it's looking bad. Alright. Number two, we got pet sitting. Pet sitting? You're responsible for the life of another pet. I know. Of someone else's pet.

That sounds terrible. Watch people's pups get paid for it easier than babysitting. Pet sitting. No, it's not. No, it's not. You start watching dogs. You have like three dogs in a house. One of those dogs kills another dog.

You're responsible. Your ass is done. Damn, dude. That's a hard life of pet sitting. Yeah, no way. Get out of town um all right next up we've got virtual assistant what someone who is very organized with the ability to multitask many companies hire self-employed virtual assistants to save employment costs you will perform typical

office duties from home such as replying to emails, managing calendars, entering data, and assisting with social media. What? That's like a stupid job. That sounds like you're getting scamed. That sounds like, yeah, the kind of person who would tell their office manager that they're not looking to replace them.

Like, you know what? I'm fine just doing nothing at home and not having any motivation. I'm all right with that. And the actual person lost their job working there. He's just like, they're just like, have fun finding someone else to do my job. And they're like, I found a virtual assistant. Yeah, we can get someone to do this at home, idiot. Oh!

Next up, we got transcriptionist oh someone who just transcribes stuff how do you do that you listen to audio files and type out what you hear companies usually hire transcriptionists without much experience so job postings might only require you to have a computer keyboard that's it you can be an idiot and do this this is what i heard that's what i heard yeah even even idiots can do this one even idiots can do it uh next we got customer service rep perfect for people with patience to spare about easy good nothing about. That is a terrible job. Are you kidding me? That's an awful job. Yeah, no way. $18 an hour

to deal with people calling up. No one calls you to thank you. No one calls to tell you you're doing a good job in that line of business. Companies are looking for workers with excellent speaking abilities and solid computer skills to help customers find a correct size, place

an order, resolve a conflict. So you already know what's going to happen. Someone's going to be like, oh, this will be fun. They call up or they sit there waiting for calls. You get a call and it's like, hello. Hello. Hello. And my flower's not here.

Like, ma'am, did you just say your flowers aren't here? Like, they're supposed to be here, not here. Ma'am, I can't hear you. Can you speak more clearly? Get stupid idiots. Ma'am, please calm down. This is shit. Ma'am, please calm down.

Yeah, I ordered flowers for my granddaughter, and she's not going to get them. How do you think that makes me look you idiot i'm never ordering from your product services ever again and you gotta do that's the first one of the day you got like 200 more of those coming in then you got the guy like doesn't know what's happening just like hey bought a book and the book is missing pages. They're just like, all right, we can send you a new book.

He's like, I want this book. This is mine. I bought it, and it should have all the pages. He's like, sir, we can't do much. We can send you a new book if you want. One star on Google reviews for you. He's like, all right, have a good day. Yeah, no, not okay.

Second call of the day. You got 198 more of those. So yeah, that's a terrible job. Next up, survey taker. Why would you? That's calling people and being like, hello, yes, I represent the International Society of Surveys and we're taking a click.

Okay. Boop, boop, boop, boop International Society of Surveys, and we're taking a click. Okay. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Brrrring. Brrrring. Hello, yes, I represent the International Society of Surveys. Okay. Click. Pick up.

Boop, boop, boop, boop. Brrrring. Hello, yes, I represent the International. Go away. Click. No, that's good. That is the worst job in the world. Why would you want that job?

And then people who do take this survey are like, yeah, my name's Seymour Butts, and I, uh, I like, hi. And then, on top, there's like, oh, you can go to some of these sites, like, what is this, some data site, and you just, they put in your data, and they just sell it, but they give you, like, 20 bucks, Some data site. They put in your data and they just sell it, but they give you like 20 bucks.

And you're like, dude, I got 20 bucks for giving them my data to use. Like, wow, great. Next up, website tester. What? Many companies pay online testers to make sure websites are intuitive and easy to navigate. First off,

that's not true. That's not a thing. A web team or a PR company, like someone's doing that, but there's no way that that is a real job a lot of people could get. Well, I'll have you know, this man right here in the stock photo is testing that website, logging into his computer with his three croissants and like four pieces of bread. Yeah, this is the most bizarre photo I've ever seen. How to describe this.

It's an aerial view. It's like an above shot down view of a man on an iMac. And he's in a white shirt on a white bed laying on a white pillow typing away in his iMac. But he's on his login screen. Yeah. And then on one side of him is a white plate with three very thin, weird-looking croissant. And then on the other side is another white plate with four pieces of bread.

Yeah. What? They couldn't have went with, like, strawberries or, like, you know, food that most people would eat that isn't for maybe this picture. The original picture title was called Bland. That's that would actually be pretty fitting. I guarantee you it's not.

It's probably called like man on computer at home for next. Oh, my God. Guess what? The next job is. I don't know. Vlogger. Shut up. That's not next job is. I don't know. Vlogger. Shut up. That's not even a job.

That's not a job. It's not a job. It's a hobby that if you're good enough can become your job. But that's not a job. That don't, don't feed people this BS, Yahoo. Stop it. What it pays. One to two dollars per thousand hits.

These unpopular YouTube tutorials range from 2020,000 to $300,000 and higher. Perfect for the self-taught creative genius. We're self-taught creative geniuses. Boy, that is the worst advice you could give. Oh, my God. All right. Yep. So they just say, hey, make...

It's pretty much them saying make YouTube videos. Yeah, if you don't want to do stuff and you want to be at home, make YouTube videos. All right. Next we have corporate English trainer. I'm sorry, what? Corporate English trainer. Oh, you train people to speak English. So when you call into the self-help line that you couldn't, or not self-help, the self-help line,

you call into the service line that they were offering you a job for back a few numbers back, but it's actually transferred over to India or somewhere. You're the guy teaching them how to respond to idiots who are like, my TV doesn't work.

They're like, yes, ma'am, that is correct. How can we be of service? Yeah, it's students in countries including Japan, Korea, France, Germany, etc. are looking for English speakers to practice with. Sessions focus on things like making professional small talk or running a meeting. Although, although, that's how a few hentai get started. So, you know, I've seen a few dating sims that start that way.

It could be worth looking into. Yeah. I mean, you got a job, and then you might meet the love of your life. Yep. Damn. All right. Take up that one. Yeah.

You know what? That checks out. Good job. Telephone nurse. Nope. This is not good. is you're just web md but people will be like my my left testicle is lower than my right testicle and it's oh no crendall just sent me a photo and it literally is just of an old man looking at his computer with headphones on. He just looks so sad. That is not a telephone nurse if I've seen one. I don't know.

I called and someone was like, tell me your problems. I was like, yeah, I got this weird twitch in my right eye and it won't go away. All right, let's diagnose this summa bitch. Okay. I'm going to give you some drugs. Take them. You should take these drugs. Next up, we have the engine evaluator.

No, I don't know what that means, but I don't like it. Again, look at this man evaluating an engine. What the hell? Yep. $9 to $10 an hour English speakers who are up on movies and music As well as those familiar with other cultures Wait, what? What?

Oh, search engine evaluator Oh, I was like, what are you talking about? This is a good engine right here, keep up The picture is like some guy at his computer He's all tattooed out and he has a cup of coffee, and he's using a pen on his computer, I guess. And, yeah, I couldn't figure out what you were talking about. Search engine, I guess, knowing pop culture stuff might be useful.

I don't know. I guess companies like Google and Yahoo give information to search for, and you tell them how closely their results match with what you were looking for. How much do you think that actually pays? Let's be honest. $9 an hour. Yeah, how much do you think that actually pays? Let's be honest. $9 an hour. Yeah, how much do you think that actually... Like, that is terrible.

$9 an hour? Get out of town. Yeah. That seems like a lot of work to do, too. Right. Online teacher. You can be an online teacher. Teachers who don't want a typical school schedule.

Yeah, that's... Sure. teacher teachers who don't want a typical school schedule yeah that's sure also you can be a teacher without the pay of a teacher and without the like health care of a teacher and without the unions of a teacher if you want to be like a bootleg teacher you can do it it's true from home there you go yeah if you want to have all that education under your belt and then get paid nothing this is the way to go it's bootleg teaching that's some bootleg teaching uh and finally virtual tutor perfect for people who only have a pocket of time for serial killers

perfect for stalking your prey students Students need extra help, and you tutor them. I could sign up on a tutor. I could tutor people on how to internet the videos. We should offer a Fiverr. We should make a Fiverr where we teach people how to do internet. We're just like, we'll teach you how to internet. Yeah, I mean, easy. We can make $12 to $35 an hour doing that.

Yeah, we can have people's grandparents call us and we'll teach them on the internet. Like, what are you looking for? We're going to teach you how to internet. And then we'll have these stock photos up so people know it's us. Check out these hardcore internet users that have learned from us. They'll see that man with the pen. Like, wow, he seems to have learned a lot. Yeah, that guy's writing down everything he knows on his computer.

And those are the best jobs you can do from home. Awesome. Well, that is enough of that. All right, everybody. That's it for us. Thank you so much for listening. But Crandor, hit up with the socials. We got soundcloud.com slash coxandcrandor. YouTube.com slash coxandcrandor. YouTube.com slash coxandcrandor, hit him with the socials. We got SoundCloud.com slash Cox and Crendor.

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