Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 172 - Unintentional Anniversary Party

Episode Date: November 19, 2018

The boys are back! And it's time to celebrate 6 years of making podcasts with an all star cast of celebrity guests and a look back at....oh.... they forgot until about 30 minutes into the podcast didn't they. But hey, they are offering stream coaching now! Get a trial month of Hims for $5 at http://forhims.com/cox Get 15% off your first pair at http://meundies.com/crendor

Today's episode is brought to you by me, Undies, the Undies that I have on me right now. Ooh, they so good. That's how we're starting. All right. Also by 4Hims. That's right, Hims. They're back and helping you keep your hair. Ooh, he's so good. All right, let's jump into this show.

Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trending. Ghost on Trending in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-hour recording studios. Recording. Wake your ass up. It's Cox and Crandor in the morning.

Cox and Crandor in the morning. Hello everybody, welcome to another exciting episode of Cox and Crandor in the morning. Oh god. What, what? I just, uh, I had to cough and then I was just like, ugh. Yeah, no, whatever happened, I happened, I thought we recorded your death. I think I already did that. It was like a few years ago. I was like, ugh.

And then I died. Are you a ghost? Maybe, but I mean, would I die again if that was the case? The last few episodes, you've seemed very ghostly. And when I hang out with you, like, you're a little too compact these days. Oh my god, speaking of these days. These days.

I'm going to go find it and, I don't know, maybe I'll make it the thumbnail of this video. Video? What is this thing we're doing? What are we doing right now? Where am I doing? Where am I? Where am I? What is this podcast?

Who are you? Where's my CD player? I left it around here. Kept skipping. What's happening? Where's my cassette tape? I found a picture. I was showing someone young Jesse, and I went through and found BlizzCon 2013.

There's photos of you and I, and you look totally different. Me, I look the exact same. I look no different at all. I have not changed in literally five years. But you look vastly different. Hold on, I'm going to find this. At the Blizzcon party your second Second to last row go all the way down

Second to last besides me Looking terrible look at you You are like a little baby boy What who is that Kid that's like you look as young as This kid next to us in this photo I didn't even have my beard My beard was like it was like a

Very vague trip like chin strap of facial hair yeah it's like you put your hair on and held together with a chin strap right my hair my hair looks like a toupee it's uh it looks like me in 2011 but just like slightly longer hair yeah i every time i go back i'm'm like, oh, you actually aged. Yeah. Me? I am like a vampire. I do not age, unfortunately.

Yeah. There is, however, that picture of you teaching from however long ago on the internet. Oh, that's just what I look like without a beard. That's what I'm saying. Well, I mean, this is like me without a beard. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And it's just like, that's probably the last time you look different. Here we go.

Here we go. BlizzCon 2011. That's what I'm saying. That was like, it's like the same, but my hair is slightly longer in 2013. Now I'm like full on Jesus. I look the exact same except I just have a little bit more life in me. Jesus. I look the exact same, except I just have a little bit more life in me.

I've been slowly murdered over the years, and that's what got me. These times are like when I had hope and dreams and no hair. And then over time, your body falls apart. You fulfill your dreams. You run out of other dreams. You're like, well, now what do I do? I guess i'll just go to the gym you start pumping weight start pumping iron yeah that's and that's what you did yeah that's what i do and me my most recent photo is me suplexing a train so you know we all grow

in our own ways the top comment from five years ago Is you look high as a kite That's cause I was probably very drunk And I Every time I get drunk I'm like please don't take a photo of me I know what I look like when I drink too much I'm Irish I turn bright red And like get a little sweaty

And like gross And just like don't Please don't Don't take a photo of me I definitely don't like All states preserve us I definitely don't. Please don't. And you start being like, oh. Don't take a photo of me. I definitely don't. Like, oh, Saints Preserve. I definitely don't do that. Yeah.

But I never look good. Everyone, especially at parties, is like, Cox, photo, bro. And I'm like, oh, God. All right, I'll do it. I can't wait to see how this looks. And every time, I'm like, oh, cool. I look so good. Yeah, like, here's Pac South 2016

I look a little more like I do now than That was like the slow transition That was 2016 That was only two years ago Well that's what I'm saying Like it's a slow process That's when my hair's getting slightly longer I've noticed this about

I've noticed this about all you streamer boys All you streamer boys Are just like all beard and hair now And I know That in theory It's because you're all like We're cool bros streamer boys all you streamer boys are just like all beard and hair now and i know that the in theory it's because you're all like we're cool bros but in reality you're just all very lazy oh how dare you how dare you i sell sweatpants because i wear sweatpants every day i'm wearing my own sweatpants right now look at this all right. This is me. This is December 2014. That's where I started morphing.

Are you already? Oh my God. The hair's getting slightly longer. The beard's growing out. This Crandor looks sort of like Matt Damon when he's on Mars. And he's been there for a year. And they're like wow And he's like been there for a year.

And they're like, wow, you stink. You haven't taken a shower. That's who that guy looks like. You look like Harry Matt Damon. Now you're just like, you know what? I don't even. Scissors aren't even in my home. Yeah.

But I think I've influenced. No razors. No scissors. I think I've influenced Sam. He like super beard Viking. He like he put up the man bun now so I used to make fun of him I remember a Sam who was like man buns are gross yeah and now that he has one I know that he's he's trying to make it like not about it being like it's tough I'm a tough guy it's a tough man bun like like the samurai of old. You know, that kind of shit. Yeah. But it's just like he just hasn't gone to get a haircut.

He's just being lazy about it. He's just been eating his Wendy's. Yeah, there's no ulterior motive to this. He's just being lazy about it. How dare people be like, oh, yes, I'm very hip. This is my hip thing. Like, no, no, stop it. He's trying to be the cool dad.

You can't be a cool dad until your baby's a teen, because at that point, then the other kids can see how cool you are. That's true. Yeah. The objective of being a cool dad, at least according to movies, is that you want your friends, your daughter's friends to be like, yeah, that's the dad I'd get with.

Right? Isn't that the whole point of being the cool dad well like when you're growing up like when your kids are like eight or nine or whatever it's like you're a cool dad if you just like have a car with a tv in it oof no thanks I'd rather be I'd rather be the bad dad then I hate cars with tvs you know I remember we'd go on field trips when I always want to go in our one friend's car he's like dude that's, that's the car with TV in it. No way. No way. My kids will be forced

to listen to the shitty music I like by God. And then when they're like 20 and 30, they'll learn to appreciate the music that I like. Yeah. Yeah.

They'll be like, oh yeah, my dad used to listen to this music. And they'll be like, booty hoes ass motherfucking booty hoes. My dad still listens to this music. It's crazy.

Oh, my God. This is my dad's favorite song. Flip that ass up. Give me some of that. I'll be like, that's my kid. All of his or her friends will be like, oh, that's the sexy cool dad. And I'll be like, flip them booty hoes. Always wear sunglasses.

Yeah, always wear sunglasses. Oh, wait, no, that's not part of the rap that's me yeah how did we get here i don't know yeah i just don't know i don't remember either uh so what uh what's going on with you uh that's what is going on with me i started going to the gym again it's been like two weeks weeks. Like there's BlizzCon. I obviously didn't go. And then I got sick with a cold. So I obviously didn't go, but now I'm good again. And it's like, I'm not a lot of people are, you know, you're going to fall off after a while, but it's the opposite. Now I've done it for so many months at this point that I'm like, I gotta get back. I gotta go back. I'm missing out on the, I'm just like feeling good. And so I've been going back

and it's been making me feel good. And some people are like, oh, it's too cold out now, but I like it. Because you like get out there and you're just like walking the cold and you're like, it's like invigorating.

That's one of the things that I miss about when I used to go to the gym like hardcore way back when I lived with my parents. After I lost my teaching job and I had to I lived with my parents when after after I lost my teaching job and I had to move in with my parents that was like how I escaped the house right but now that like I don't need to escape from anyone I'm lazy about it right so I need

I basically what I'm saying is mom dad will you come live with me I want to get fit again I want to get in shape I need you to come live with me dude it's cool because like you see people that like you see when you first get there and you're like oh hey and then like some people disappear but then you still see like those people and they're like still going and you're like dude they're like they're like me right now like they just show up every day there's this one dude he is probably he was like pretty overweight, like maybe like 400 pounds. But he was like super going at it. Like he is like doing resistance stuff.

Like they put a backpack on, almost like military style. Like put a bunch of stuff on, make them walk. And they're like going back and forth. I've seen him every week for like, when did I start? August? Three months. And he's like he's like losing weight and i'm like dude i wanted to go up to him and be like hey that's uh that's pretty cool but then i did i like how you didn't though yeah you didn't do it but you wanted to well i

don't know if it was gonna be like insulting or something but i guess it wouldn't be no way let me let me tell you as a, go up to a person. If you have a friend who is, let's say, a little extra poundage, be sure to let them know if you notice. Be like, hey, yo, you're fucking killing it, dude. And they'll be like, oh, I love you so much. Yeah. It never hurts to tell someone they look good.

That's a fact. All right. I'll be like, hey, keep it up. Yeah. Never. It never hurts to tell someone they look good. That's a fact. All right. I'll be like, hey, keep it up. Yeah. Just like with you, I'm like, oh, who's this muscled man? I would never. I would never be like, Crandor, your ass looking a little flabby. You got to get in there.

By the way, it is not, ladies. Crandor's butt is fabulous. Very strong. Very powerful. That is a strong tush Only hidden by sweatpants If you put those in jeans God help you

Or when I develop my designer sweatpants You'll see Oh my god, can we talk about that for a minute Why is every YouTuber coming out with Like my new Designer clothing line I get it, but Boy boy, do I hate it. Like, Essence is the name of it.

I call it Essence. It's like, cool, yeah. Didn't you already sell merch? What is this? Like, no, no, this is another line. Like, oh, okay. It's because so many people have done, like, hey, get a t-shirt. That now it's getting old.

So they're like, welcome to my designer clothing line for only top tier fans that can purchase this. Not $20, but $40 shirt. Still made in China, however. But it's very high quality. Very high quality. Me, I'm like, listen. This shit feels good. It's comfy.

I wear it. Okay? So if you want some you can buy it I would love Can we go in on a Cox and Crandor High quality clothing line But let's have you do the ad like This shit feels good

When I put it on my body I say God damn that is good fitting Dude I'm telling you When I was looking through sweatpants Because we had to sample all the sweatpants My one friend who's doing it was like, so these are really high quality ones. They'd sell them for $50 or $60 in the store. And I wore them and I was like, oh my god, I'm just going to take these samples and just wear them. And I have.

I've taken those sample pants and I've worn them for at least a year. And I was like, I need to do a designer high-quality sweatpaint with these sweatpants. Oh, my God. We should go in on this. I know. We got to do it. I want to do this so bad. So I've been looking for a place to sell T-shirts at.

Because most of the places, spoiler alert for everyone who's like, Jesse, why don't you do more merch? Most merch companies suck. They are not helpful to work with. They take all the money. You come up with the ideas and they just rip you off, basically. And then most of the time the quality of the shirt... Yeah, I just work with my friend now

who used to do it. And I was like, hey, you just want to help me sell merch? And he was like, yeah, sure. Yeah, most of the time the quality is not what you expect. The design, the logo never turns out quite right. I'm going to look into maybe seeing the different things that

I guess Teespring's doing some new stuff. But I want to just find a company and be like, yo, let's you and I work together and make some fun stuff. And if, look, if Markiplier can do it, I can do it. That's true.

That's what I've always said. That's what you've always said. We actually, over on Crensloth.com. Killing it. Killing it. We had a batch of, like, miscolored, misprinted, like, shirts or something. So for Black Friday, we were just going to, like, sell them for, like, $5. That's what I'm saying.

So I had my big shirt idea a while ago for Scheme Big, right? I said, dream big, I scheme big. Got to make those plans. I like it. And so Dan and I were talking about doing a shirt, and we were like, I was like, man, I want to do the filthy casual of getting money. I was like, yeah, like, you know, it's tough when every company you talk to is like,

well, we only print in three colors and we only do it on white t-shirts. You're like, what are you talking about? Yeah, I don't get it. It's like, we print in a brown, light brown and gray. It's like, all right, okay, we can work with this. I was about to say for a sloth that's perfect i know it is you're making some serious bank right there uh like doing this you look like when you start

doing a youtube or streamer thing you don't realize how many different avenues you're going to be heading down like you can go down like merchandise. You can go down marketing. You go down books, book writing. You go down like sponsorship. Like there's so many things. Podcasting. Like look at all this. You become an expert in so many fields. And in our cases, you become slightly more knowledgeable in various fields.

I was about to say expert might be a little too far. Not expert. Just like old complainers. Like, oh, I don't like this thing. Oh my God. That's like, you see the thing with like stream coaching now? You know what? expert but you become just like old old complainers like oh i don't like this thing oh my god that's like you see the thing with like stream coaching now you know what i don't have a problem with it everyone's like getting like oh stream coaching that's a scam i'm like i don't know maybe here's the thing okay i don't think it's a scam per se but it's like a very generalized self-help-y type thing. You know what I mean? Like when you buy a book

and it's like, how to lose weight, exercise, go eat better. Like, it just tells you things that you probably know already. But I think people, I think what it comes down to is people having someone, I guess in the case of a book

it's sort of like you're reading the person's thoughts, but it's the idea of having someone there so that you have – it's kind of like a therapist, right? Like you have a person to talk to and work through your problems. And so I think that's why they're acting coaches, right? Because I know a lot of actors who are like, I never took a day of classes in my life. But I also know some that they swear by it, like you have to. And I think it comes down to how much you like For acting for example all it is is

Lying to the extent that you yourself Believe it yeah right you're pretending To be someone else so much that you Believe you're someone else yeah and Then just memorizing lines is that Person right um and I think that a lot Of people can't grasp that so that's Why they have acting coaches.

And they can't, like, figure out how to become someone else and memorize the lines and mix the two together. And I think for, like, a stream coach, I think even though I don't particularly think I would use one because I don't need one, and I know a lot of people that I wouldn't recommend one to, I also know some people that I'd be like, yeah, you probably should have someone there to show you the ropes. I don't have a problem with it, but I also know that because it's a new industry,

there's going to be a lot of people who are like, yeah, yeah, I'll help you. Yeah, well, I guess that's more of the thing that people are concerned about. It can actually help, like you said. I'm sure you could have them watch you stream, and they'd like be like all right first off you didn't talk enough like it gets boring when you're not talking whatever and be like second off you know you should uh do blah blah or like make your alerts better like interact with chat and like you

get like a personalized kind of response to what you're doing as opposed to like sure reading some generalized thing but at the same time then there's people paid me enough i do that shit generalized kind of response to what you're doing as opposed to like reading some generalized thing but at the same time then there's people paid me enough i do that shit i'd be like yeah i'll tell you what to do yeah i can do that you kidding me uh yeah for for an hour if you pay me for an hour of my time which would be a lot let's be real i'd be like pay me a lot of money i'd give you the rope like i'd be like stream for an hour let's talk once you're done let's talk about it yeah oh yeah and i give you like the whole spiel oh like, stream for an hour. Let's talk. Once you're done, let's talk about it. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

And I'd give you like the whole spiel. Oh, my God. We'll start up the Cox and Crandor coaching extravaganza. Yeah. The C-N-C-C-E. Not to be confused with our designer clothing line, Le Cox and Crandor. Crandor. Yeah.

Oh, my God. But Cox is spelled with three X's because it's chic. Oh, yeah. Nowa. And Cren-dwa, yeah. Oh, my God. But Cox is spelled with three X's because it's chic. Oh, yeah, no doubt. And a Q. Yeah, Q-O-X-X-X. And Cren-dwa. Yeah. Spelled like boudoir, but with a Cren.

Yeah. Cox and Cren-dwa. And then our coaching thing will be us us but we'll be like In football helmets Why? I don't know I don't know why It doesn't have anything to do with coaching but yeah Then there's gonna be the coach It's not gonna be some bad coach

That's what you gotta do Start up your stream And talk Get talking Then they just look at their phone while you stream We're gonna give you highly detailed Just start up your stream and talk. Get talking. And then they just look at their phone while you stream. Like, no, we're going to give you highly detailed reports. I'd go teacher mode.

I wouldn't be nice. I wouldn't be like, well, you know, you just got to play this game. And right now, Red Dead is really popular. And I feel like that's like the bullshit answer you give everyone. If you're paying me It's fucking raw Oh my god, I'd go hard I'd be like, here's your number one problem What is it? What's my number one problem?

Here's your number one problem Your clothes aren't tight enough Get them tighter, show off those muscles People want to see sexy men Number two Here's your other problem. You clap too much. Stop clapping.

No one likes claps. Smack your butt. Yeah, when people come on stream, slap your butt. Or better yet, have Toast come in and slap your butt. Or better yet, train your cat to slap your butt. Number three, number three, get rid of all your chat interface stuff that you're using. Only memes. From now on, only memes.

Now that's innovation. You got to stick with the trends. You got to stick with the memes. You can't use any Bowsette. That is too old. It's already too old. It's already too old. If you're going in, you got to go with the new memes.

You got to go with that thing TikTok. Oh, yeah. TikTok that the kids are using these days. Got to start doing TikTok memes. Get on that train. That's pretty high quality. I didn't even have to pay for that one. Yeah, these are just examples.

These are just examples of things. But yeah, I feel like I've set you straight. And this is some things we can help other people with. Yeah. Wow. Now imagine if you have a shitty microphone, how easy that's going to be. It's one of those things where back when we started, if you have a shitty microphone, how easy that's going to be. Yeah. It's one of those things where like back when we started, you could have a shitty microphone

because most people didn't have good microphones anyway. It's true. But now, everybody's got a good microphone. Who was I talking to? I was talking with someone yesterday or today, and they were like, yeah, I went to go watch a stream, and they were talking about something, and it wasn't the game so I left. And I was like, wow, people leave streams for all sorts of reasons. Yeah.

Like you can never really know what people are going to want to watch or what they're going to want to sit through. And so you just got to be yourself and do your own thing and like hope that's good enough. That's what I'm saying. That's all I do. I still remember one time one guy came to my stream. He's like, Krendor, you don't do any of the things streamers suggest you do. Like, you're playing some random ass game. It's not a popular game.

You're not talking right now. You're blah, blah. And I was like, I don't care. And that, my friends, that's the kind of training you're going to get at CNCCE, where we will teach you that it's not about caring. It's about how much you don't care. Exactly. Yeah.

Finally. Yeah, that's true. Someone who gets it. Take it from me, Jesse Cox, a guy who streams like four times a month. And Crendor, a guy who is barely on his own streams, will help you learn how to stream yes uh yeah this uh this is like we gotta have like a little message like we were we both had giant youtube audiences before this happened that we transferred over to twitch to allow us to have

large viewer bases to help us grow in a different different ground results may vary results may vary uh yeah you know it's gonna be great. Yeah, perfect. We're really selling it. I'm gonna forget this is even a thing by tomorrow. Speaking of promoting things, me undies. Guys, it's holiday time. I know we're early. I know people are like

it's November. Guys, Black Friday is a week away. Less than a week. Less than a week. We are coming up on Black Friday. Our next episode a Black Friday episode a week away. Less than a week. Less than a week. We are coming up on Black Friday. Our next episode, a Black Friday episode. Yes. We're going to talk about people running each other over. We're going to talk about people fighting each other for a TV.

It's going to be great. Yes. But you don't got to be a part of all that. Instead, get it done early. You know who's going to love you the most When you finally give out gifts The people you buy MeUndies for Yes That's the fact

You buy MeUndies for people They're gonna open up the box and be like Wait underwear? What am I? Your son and or daughter? And you're gonna be like yes you are And I love you so much that I bought you these And let me tell you

MeUndies Are made with the best much that I bought you these. And let me tell you, MeUndies are made with the best, like, like angel farts. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it's made out of. It's like micromortial tree fibers and you're going to feel it. I'm sorry, what was that? Micromortial tree fibers.

Micromortial. That's right. It could be that too. It's three times softer than cotton. If you have never felt them Just try them once Every single person who has bought them Thanks to what we talk about on this podcast Has tweeted us and been like Oh my god, you were right

Because they are the best I legit haven't seen any complaints This holiday season, they have a new print Every Tuesday That means you have no excuse not to celebrate right now. And who knows what they're going to be. They could be the bold, crazy ones like the ones I probably have on right now.

What do I have on right now? I have a sloth. I have sloth undies on right now. Yeah, but you can get like, you know, a Crandor kind. If you want like gray, you can do that too. They also have lounge pants and onesies all made with the same fabric. It is incredible.

I can't even stress. I want to go to their website right now because I'm like, wait, there's new stuff every week? Right now, if you are a first-time purchaser, when you go to MeUndies.com slash Crandor. That's me. You get 15% off and free shipping. And if you don't like it, you can send it back 100% satisfaction guaranteed. But let me tell you, you're going to like it. You're going to like it, and you're going to be like, oh, my God.

My tush and my kaboosh and everything else feels so good right now. But you're only going to feel that way if you go to MeUndies.com slash Crendor. That's MeUndies.com slash Crendor. That go to meundies.com slash Crendor. That's meundies.com slash Crendor. That's meundies.com slash Crendor. I tried to make it into a jingle, but it didn't work. It failed. Also, today we are brought to you by Hymns. That's right.

4hymns.com is back. And, guys, I feel a little cold this winter, like up top. Yeah. Is the cold air blowing through your hair a little bit more? Because you may be losing it. Let's be real. Oh, no. Two-thirds of all men lose their hair by 35.

I'm over 35. I have my dad's genes. I'm starting to. I know it's happening. Uh-oh. The thing is, when you start noticing it, it's too late to do anything about it. You've got to be proactive. It's easier late to do anything about it You gotta be proactive It's easier to keep the hair you have

Than the hair you lost Trust me, I don't even know how you get it back I watched that stuff on TV, they were like Yes, we'll replace your hair I'm like, well how do you do that? I think they take butt hair and put it on your head I have no idea how this works And it scares me

But, if you go to 4hims.com, you can find the medicine you need and the solutions that will help you and the doctors that are there to support you the entire way. It's your one-stop shop for hair loss, skin care, sexual wellness. We talked about that before. If you want to pop some boners, this is the place to do it. Right now at 4hims.com slash Cox. For just $5, you can get access to some awesome men's supplements that are going to help you out.

Real doctors, medical-grade solutions to treat your hair loss. It's generic equivalents to name brand prescriptions that's going to help you keep your hair. It's not like crazy snake oil or whatever. This is real stuff. You can actually look it up online, what they're selling, and see if it's right for you. It's all there. You can talk to the doctor. Answer some of the questions.

They'll have questions for you too. You even have to send them snaps of your hair and stuff, right? So all of this is to help you, and right now you get a free trial month, $5 while supplies last. Forhams.com. F-O-R-H-I-M-S.com slash Cox. Go there right now.

Right now. All right, Crandall, what's good? I'm John. This is guys, Crandall. Crandall, how's the traffic out there? Oh, boy. Let me tell you. Traffic's picking up.

We're getting close to Thanksgiving. We are days away from Thanksgiving and that Black Friday rush, it is going to be crazy out there. Once that hits, oh, boy, we got Christmas time. People are going to be out every single day, out late, out popping bottles at the club. And by the club, I mean shopping online,

at the mall, popping bottles at home because they're stressed out about dealing with their families, drinking wine, drinking beer, drinking whatever they can to help them forget about the pain and misery of life. That's going to be crazy. But yeah, the traffic right now is not too bad. It's going to probably pick up in a couple

days. Back to you. Thanks, Grendor. Can I just tell you, speaking of drinking, this weekend I've had more beer in two days than I've had over the last six months. And I haven't gone to any parties. I've just gone out

and been out. I feel the festive holiday spirit taking over. I love the holidays. Today I was in the elevators like whistling and do my whole holiday thing. And someone looked at me and was like, it's November. And I was like, brah, brah. It's the holiday season. You got to let it take over your soul, man. Yeah.

Normally I'm that person who's like, come on, guys. It's November. But I put on the Christmas music stuff, and I was like, hey, this is pretty good. Oh, yeah. I was like, oh, the weather outside is frightful. I was doing that whole thing, walking around, living my life, having a good old time. Yeah. I think part of it's like-

Meanwhile, it's LA, so there's no frightful weather. Part of it for me is just like this year has felt like two years because of everything I've gone through. And so I'm just like, all right, let's get this year over with. I'm ready. Let's be real. 2018 has been long. It's been a long year.

I had lunch with a person the other day who was like, I don't know what it is, but this year just doesn't seem to end. It just gets crazier and crazier. And I was like, yeah, yeah, I know. We're almost there. And then we can complain about how 2019 sucks. I know. Get ready for that.

That's going to be great. Yeah. It's felt like an unnaturally long year. Like, legit. I don't know what it is. Even 2017 went by fast, I felt. But 2018. 2017 flew by.

And this year feels like every week is a month. Yeah. It's just, everything's taking, it's just, when people are like, bro, where's the new Cox and Grundor? And it's like, it's been less than five days. Yeah. What are you? There's even some episodes we do.

We'll get there, guys. We'll get there. And I thought they were like months ago. And I'm like, oh, that was last week. And I was like, wait, hold on. Yeah. There's times where I'll do a thing and be like, yeah, God, that was like back in January or something. Like, no, that was two weeks ago.

I'm like, what? Like, think about it. What do you mean? The Olympics happened this year. Do you remember the Olympics? I literally forgot that the olympics occurred oh my god you're right and that was maybe what's that like god seven eight months ago eight months i don't i couldn't tell you what happened dude the only first half of this year the olympics is

because i had my surgery so all i had to do is sit on the couch i was this year the olympics is because i had my surgery so all i had to do is sit on the couch i was like hey the olympics are on that's good to like watch and fall asleep to they had curling i was like so into curling then you get better and then like i was i was like yeah remember like last year i was talking with with kristen the other day i was like remember last year when i was gone for like a month overseas she was like you mean May of this year I was like what you even convinced me because I remember you podcast about that and I was like oh yeah that's like last year nope that is straight up it just happened this year this is that's this is crazy wow what if every year is like this we'll essentially live like 20 lifetimes in a span of like five years.

That's too much. I now get why old people are like, I'm ready to go. I get that shit. I'm like, yeah, I get it. This is too much. Sometimes it's too much. Yeah. Y'all be too crazy for me sometimes.

Yeah, because like a lot of people, like, years are just flying by. And I'm like, are they? I don't know about that right now. I get that time is a construct of man, but I feel like in this case, we are definitely going very slow. What if time is slowing down and we don't even know it? Well, according to George Norrie, time was speeding up

because the quickening was happening. If you remember that, they were all like, George, every year seems to be getting faster and faster. He was like, I know. It feels like everything's flying by. I'd love to call him up and be like, George, it never ends. I thought you said this shit was going to get faster. George. Dude, I even start thinking about it.

It's been Sunday for three days, George. I've mentioned how we started, we started this show, like, six years ago. But even, like, thinking about that, I'm like, like, ten years, like, ten years seems like a pretty long time. But really, think about the average life. Like, ten years is, like, a small portion of it.

Was this supposed to be our six-year anniversary show? Oh, shit. Hold on. Hold on. Let me find it Guys youtube.com I think we talked about this last week But the week was so long Oh my god it is

We started 11-19-2012 And when this goes up It'll be Pretty much that thing. So that's, yeah, six years. Unreal. Yeah.

Happy six-year anniversary. I love that we last week were like, we'll forget about it. And we totally did. Oh, God. Well, that sums up this podcast all right. Those old episodes are like so old, too. And it's like you think about six years ago. You think about me not having any hair, looking like a child and you looking the same.

But, you know, like, you know, a little more life. Yeah. A little more lively. It's like just go back and listen to those old episodes and you'll be like, oh, my God. It's great. They're even they're not those old episodes. And you'll be like, oh my god. It's crazy. They're not even as long. They're only like 28 minutes. Like, comparatively.

Yeah, we really had our shit together back then. Yeah, we were doing like one a day. We were like, hey. Hey, everybody. This is funny jokes. Yeah, we had things to talk about. We had funny little segments. Six years, everybody.

Six years. Cox and Crandor podcast over on YouTube. Cox and Crandor, if you just want some animations to laugh at, they're goofy stuff. Six years worth. That's the traffic. All right. What is going on with weather? Weather.

Hey, Woppy's got his over the cough now. Woppy activated. 8, 4, 5, 4, 1. Zero result. 2, 4, 4, 5, 2. Zero result. 9, 4, 5, 2, 1. Concord, California, 2, 1. Concord, California.

Oh, wow. Of all the Concords, that's the one we got. Weather, 51 degrees. Smoke. Oh, God. Be safe, Concord. Be safe. Smoke feels like 51 degrees Fahrenheit.

Some clouds expect widespread areas of smoke and haze, reducing visibility at times low 39 degrees Fahrenheit. Tomorrow, intervals of clouds and sunshine expect widespread areas of smoke and haze, 68 degrees Fahrenheit. Monday night, partly cloudy skies. Expect weather. Skies.

Smoke. Smoke and skies. Tuesday, expect widespread areas of smoke. Smoke. Smoke. Smoke. Can I tell you something messed up? Yes.

Speaking of the fires in California, terrible shit. It's like homes are burning down. It is just awful. Some guy who has several hundred thousand followers on Twitter. Today I read a giant ass post he made. He was like, don't you all see, man?

This is a conspiracy. He's like, look at this photo. Look at this photo of these houses burning. You know who house those are? Not the rich people houses. Those are houses of the poor. They're trying to boot people out of these communities so that the rich can move in.

Don't you get it? And then he posted about how the government is forcibly moving people off the land with lasers, space lasers. George, they're moving people off the land. I was lasers George they're moving people I was like I was like this is insane like it's not like this is why 2018 is so long because shit like this people are like that's right if you look at all the comments they're like of course I see it now it's like are you kidding me well it's like you can turn anything into a conspiracy if you try hard enough

literally anything yeah uh on the bright side it's gonna rain Tuesday night apparently You can turn anything into a conspiracy if you try hard enough. Literally anything. On the bright side, it's going to rain Tuesday night, apparently. Maybe that'll help. They need that. Yeah. That adds to the weather. All right. What is going on with sports?

Sports. Big sports day. So, first off, Packers lost against Seattle on Thursday night. Wowee. That was fun to watch. Fire Mike McCarthy. Hashtag Fire Mike McCarthy. Get him out of here.

Dallas beat Atlanta. Detroit beat Carolina. Indianapolis killed Tennessee. Giants beat Tampa Bay. Houston beat Washington. Pittsburgh beat Jacksonville on the final play of the game. Crazy stuff. Baltimore beat Cincinnati.

Oakland beat Arizona. Raiders somehow winning. Denver beat the Chargers. Like all that in the football podcast I do. Everyone was like, Chargers gonna win. And I was like, don't sleep on Denver. They're the sleeping horse. And they were. They were sleeping. They woke up.

They're the sleeping horse. new orleans because they're broncos yeah yeah i do a podcast called three guys talk about football or three guys and a bear talk about football because it's me sin victa and uh rob alpaca patrol from the northern lion show and then sometimes bear taffy from the northern lion show and we just talk about football every week and last week they're all like, oh no, Chargers look pretty good. And I was like, trust me, the Broncos are the sleeping horse. And they were! That's what I called it.

And then the Eagles lost 48-7 to the Saints. Wow, that's pretty bad. No, no, no. We're missing out on the major news this week. Alright. The Browns. Yep. Are so shit.

They are now looking to Condoleezza Rice to possibly be their new head coach. They want to hire Condoleezza Rice to be the head coach. Let that sink in. Condoleezza Rice no experience really in

coaching but she's just like a super fan. So like, Condoleezza, come on, come do this. We have our Dick Cheney is our offensive coordinator. You know what? I was reading Reddit threads on it. Someone was like, he'd love to run the shotgun formation. I was about to make that joke. I was just about to make that joke.

That's a good joke. that's a good joke it's a that's a solid joke now to be fair for the cleveland browns they are three six and one this year that is three more wins than they've had in the last two years that's true that's absolutely they're on the rise this is a team with aspirations and hopes now they can win games. They got an HBO show out of it. I think they're doing it. It's going to be interesting. The Raiders are 2-8. They're moving to Vegas, so they're essentially selling everything

in hopes of building up by the time they get to Vegas. That's fine. I'd go see, as I've said before, if Vegas hockey is any indication, Vegas football will be a spectacle. I agree. That'd be great. I'm happy.

I would get tickets to go see a Vegas football game any day. I bet that'd be like, and now the 800 dancing Chippendales erotic kickoff performance. Just a bunch of guys on the field shaking their asses. I have a birdie. Birdie. That'd be great. off performance like just a bunch of guys like on the field like shaking their asses be great i'd be like yes yeah this is the best yeah they're all like chris farley they're like chris farley impersonators yeah but they're like you know really into it yeah A little too into it. That's what makes Vegas so good. They're a little too into it.

And, yeah, that's sports. All right. Grendel, what is our big news story of the day? All right. So our big news story. Oh, boy. Here we go. We've had multiple people tweet this.

Uh-huh. But there's a new story on The Watcher. Oh, my. What? Yes. We have a new story from five days ago the watcher a family bought their dream house but according to the creepy letters they started to get they weren't the only ones interested in it wait this is the same story though right well let's see it's uh one night in June 2014. All right, that's probably the old part. Let's see.

But there's got to be like some new stuff to it, right? There's got to be some new stuff. Maybe. Let's see. Hold on. I'm browsing through here. Let's see. Compare the town.

Maybe. Oh, it's a long ass article. Wow. Why is this article so long? I don't know. Oh, there's like. like wait is this pictures of the watcher house by the end of 2014 investigation stuff okay we know most of this investigation stalled i want to know i just want to know like the new stuff where's the new stuff

let's see violet wait what the shit after planning after the planning board's decision wait hold on all right this sounds new this sounds new okay okay okay let's see uh the broad broad uses still had to figure out what to do with 657 boulevard their lawsuit was pending seemed unlikely to succeed uh in spring of 2016 they put 657 back on the market hoping it might garner some more interest given how many people had reacted to the letters saying they would have ignored them and just moved in the broad uses held a well-attended open house after which derrick and maria spent hours researching every person who signed in comparing their handwriting to the watchers but each time a potential buyer expressed interest and met with the broad uses lawyer to read the

letters they backed out some cocky guy from staten island said fuck it i'm gonna get a house at a discount derrick recalled he read the letters and we never hear from him again um let's see divide they wanted to divide the house they thought they could get one million for the lot subdivisions like this had become common in westfield when the proposal was publicly They wanted to divide the house. They thought they could get one million for the lot. Subdivisions like this had become common in Westfield. When the proposal was publicly announced, Westfield's Facebook groups lit up. Some expressed sympathy for the broad users. While others pointed out real estate is always a gamble.

It's a gamble whether or not you're going to have a psycho outside writing you letters. A typical Facebook convo went like this. Sounds like the whole watcher thing was a ploy. The owners are good people, not a ploy. Okay, I know nothing about them. Kristen Kemp, a friend of them, had tried to defend them on one Facebook forum, but people started attacking her. Somebody asked, how do we not know it's you writing the letters? When the planning board met to decide the application in January 2017, it already devoted a three-hour hearing to the issue. More than 100 residents showed up.

One of them, who lived across the street, had a daughter in the same grade as one of the kids of the broad users. They retained a lawyer to fight the proposal. After a quick discussion about Wells Fargo branch, one used brighter light bulbs than the town allowed. about wells fargo branch one used brighter light bulbs than the town allowed the room grew tense as a suburban planning board meeting that is wait as tense as a suburban planning board meeting could get james forrest the attorney explained the three-foot exemption was as narrow of the easel blah blah blah okay what happened hearing lasted for hours during which there was little discussion of the reason they'd been driven to tear down their dream home in the first place. Has anybody thought whether or not this is a lunatic who did this and has been apprehended?

I mean, I did. Putting up two houses, they're just going to stick out like an old client of mine in Texas told me. What? It's going to stick out like a dog's balls, said Higgins. What? What? That's what Higgins said. that's what higgins said well some of the some of the neighbors expressed compassion their focus remained on what broad uses stood to gain

financially uh they rejected the proposal what was the proposal oh they wanted to tear the house down it got rejected i think uh let's see property tax let's see two weeks later derrick went to 657 to deal with squirrels that had taken up residence in the roof the renter handed him an envelope that had just arrived quote violent winds and bitter cold to the vile and spiteful derrick and his wench of a wife, Maria. Whoa! What the shit? Whoa! All right, all right, let's see. What happened here?

What happened here? This letter in two and a half... Gotcha, okay, so what happened is after the board said no, they managed to rent the house out. Yeah. Okay, all right. Let's see.

It was dated February 13th, the day after the Broaduses gave depositions in their lawsuit against the Woods. You wonder who the Watcher is? Turn around, idiots. The letter read, Maybe you even spoke to me, one of the so-called neighbors, who has no idea who the Watcher could be. Or maybe you do know and are too scared to tell anyone.

Good move. The letter was less stylish and more wrathful than others, and it seemed the writer had been closely following the story. They had seen the media coverage. I walked by the news truck when they took over my neighborhood and mocked me derrick's investigatory efforts i watched you as you watch from the dark house in an attempt to find me telescopes and binoculars are wonderful inventions and an attempt to tear down the house 657 boulevard survived your attempted assault and stood strong with its army of supporters barricading its gates, the letter read. My soldiers of the boulevard followed my orders to a T.

They carried out their mission and saved the soul of 657 Boulevard with my orders. All hail the Watcher. The renter was mentioned. He was spooked but agreed to stay if the broad users installed cameras around the house, and the letter indicated revenge could come in many forms. Quote,

Maybe a car accident. Maybe a fire. Maybe something as simple as a mild illness that never seems to go away but makes you feel sick day after day. After day, after day, after day. Maybe the mysterious death of a pet. Loved ones suddenly die. Planes and cars and bicycles crash. Bones break.

What? What the shit? The Watcher? What the shit? It was like we were back at the beginning, said Maria, but it also meant fresh evidence that might help invigorate the investigation. Derek took the letter to police headquarters, where a detective looked at the

neighborhood map and traced a circle around the house 300 yards in a diameter, suggesting the watcher must be somewhere in there. Derek drew one much closer. In my view, it's one of ten houses in the world, he said. The broad users continued to press the case, but there still wasn't much law enforcement to go on, and it was possible to look up and down the street and see the watcher in practically anyone. Residents mentioned to me a teenager whose father had grown up around the corner and a man who sometimes walked around the neighborhood playing a flute. What? Don't blame the flute guy.

Come on. It's just a guy with a flute. An elderly couple behind the house had been there 47 years. The husband was the man Bill Woodard had been seen sitting in a lawn chair looking at the broadies house one of their kids had married a man who grew up in of all places 657 boulevard but these were bits of info that could mean everything or nothing depending on how you looked at them broadies has sent new names to the investigators whenever they found something odd but their greatest fear was that the watcher could be someone they'd never expect one day last spring derrick picked me up at the westfield train station drove past 657 boulevard

which he and maria tried to avoid unless they had to pick up the tax bill it's all beautiful trees and beautiful houses but all i feel is anxious derrick said sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night thinking what would my life be like if this didn't happen we lost christmas a couple times and you don't get that back. Christmas with a five-year-old. The Broddies no longer live in present fear that the Watcher might strike at any moment, but they continue to deal with the lingering effects from the letters. They have a new tenant at 657, but the rent doesn't cover the mortgage.

Their kids occasionally teased at school, and conspirational rumors persist. They try to avoid people who spoke out against their planning board application or accused them of being con artists but suburban life makes that impossible i see these people on the soccer field at the train station my heart goes starts going like it did when i played hockey and was about to get in a fight all right hold on this keeps going uh there goes the end The letter had clearly... Wait, the Watcher was also no longer the only person sending anonymous letters in Westfield? Last Christmas Eve...

Oh, yeah, there's copycats. Yeah, the copycats coming out. Several families received an envelope in their mailboxes. They'd been delivered by hand to the homes of people who had been the most vocal in criticizing the broad uses online. One of them, who lived a few blocks down in criticizing the broad uses online one of them who lived a few blocks down in the boulevard had written on facebook i wish we could go back to the day the days of tar and feathers i have just a couple in mind another family who got a letter told me it was weirdly poetic as the watchers had been and that it accused the families of

speculating inaccurately about the broaduses. It included several stories about recent acts of domestic terrorism in which signs of brewing mental illness had gone unnoticed. The type of letters were signed, Friends of the Broadus Family. The letter writer had clearly been infected, not only with the Watcher's penchant for anonymous notes, but also simmering resentment. One had snaked its way through Westfield,

making enemies of neighbors. The people who received the letters didn't know who sent them, but the tone had a familiar ring. When I asked Derek Broadus whether he had written them, he paused for a moment, then admitted he had. He wasn't proud of it. He hadn't even told his wife and said they were only anonymous letters he'd written. But he'd felt driven to his wits' end, fed up with watching silently as people threw accusations at his family based on practically nothing one of the people who received the letters told me they had never met the broad uses and had no interest in doing so the watcher had been obsessed with 657 boulevard and derrick in turn had become obsessed with the watcher and everything the letters had said in motion

it's like cancer he told me we think about it every day sitting at the westfield train station derrick handed me his phone so i could read the fourth letter you are despised by the house it read and the watcher won what oh my god that is genuinely crazy that is genuinely crazy that is legit crazy that's so what That's so weird Yeah I don't like the guy in the end Was writing letters To In order to prove that he

This is why this is crazy In order to prove that he wasn't the watcher He wrote watcher like letters to other people Yeah Yeah So he wrote watcher like letters to other people But at the same time he's not The watcher the watcher is the one writing the letters

So he's like trying to copy the watcher but he's not the watcher This I love the comments on this article Oh my god $22,000 a year in taxes Now that's the most terrifying thing about this property Ghosts are definitely real as I seem oh boy ghosts ghosts this guy's name is Magnus Thunderson I'm gonna try and read this

right ghosts are definitely real as I I seem them before as there is a Victorian three-story house that abandoned on the Rockefeller property at the edge of Sayville on Long Island who had an old garden behind the house with three-car garage and what could have been two workshops facing the garden, we brought a cooler of beer and a radio and let just say we came for the radio and beer the next morning as we freaked out by the lady in the white Victorian dress walking down the center garden path. But what

freaked us out? She's semi-transparent. I trust this guy. This guy knows what he's doing. She's semi-transparent. But what freak us out? She's semi-transparent. This guy's gotta be high as shit. You're just wasted.

Oh my god. Alright, we're ending it with Magnus Thunterson. Killing it, dude. But what freaked me out is this show is over now. All right, that's it for us. Thank you so much for listening or watching or however you're enjoying this podcast. Crandor, hit up the socials. We got YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast where you can listen to these podcasts. We got SoundCloud.com slash Cox and Crandor where you can listen to these podcasts.

We got iTunes over on iTunes where you listen to these podcasts. We got YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor. That's where you can see all the animations of us talking about stuff animated and made into actual funny things. We got Twitter.com slash Jess Cox. Twitter.com slash Crendor. Twitch.tv slash Jess Cox. Twitch.tv slash Crendor. YouTube.com slash Jess Cox.

YouTube.com slash Crendor. That's it. Alright. Thanks so much again and as always what freaked us out? She's semi. All right. Thanks so much again. And as always, what freaked us out? She's semi-transparent.