Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 173 - Boring Friday

Episode Date: November 26, 2018

It's that time of the week so you know the boys are back with new stories to tell and wacky antics! It's our yearly Black Friday episode and booooooy has Black Friday gotten boring. What happened America!? Even the Black Friday news is lame! But thankfully, the crazy antics of naked men with bongos save the day! All this and more on this exciting episode of Cox n' Crendor! Now through 12/25 get a special discount on your 23andMe kit at http://23andme.com/cox Get your first refill pack free at http://getquip.com/crendor

Today's episode is brought to you by 23andMe! DNA kits are on sale right now, y'all, through December 25th! Get a look into your history, into your past, into the inner workings of you, without making it weird and creepy. Also, today we're brought to you by Quip! One of the most important things you can do for yourself is keep your teeth looking good, yet, man, some of us don't do it properly, and that's why we got Quip.

Make them teeth sparkle. Brush your teeth, nerds. Fact. All right, let's jump into this podcast. Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning.

Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-hour recording studios. Recording. Wake your ass up. It's Cronkite and Crandor in the morning. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to Cronkite and Crandor in the morning. Hey, guess what?

Ho, hip hop, hooray. Ho, hey, you know. That wasn't you guessing what, it was just you making noises. Hip hop, yeah, what, what, what? Hip hop eponymous. Yes, hip hop eponymous. Hip hop eponymous. And a rhinoceros. Why did I say, wait, what was I going to bring up?

I don't know. Geez. You're the one who's going to bring up? I don't know. Jeez. You're the one who's going to do it. Oh, Black Friday. Ah, yes. It's that time of year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we always do our Black Friday special, and I guess this would be this year's Black

Friday special. It would be. You're right. Did you go out on Black Friday? Of course I did. Are you kidding me all right now did you go out on like early black friday like the night of thanksgiving or did you go like the morning or like when did you go no the night of thanksgiving i was at home playing monopoly with my parents and that was a real treat let me tell you Don't get cocky in the game

Monopoly because I was winning I was destroying and then I landed on a hotel And I lost everything Let me just say a night at a hotel shouldn't cost you everything I feel like I made bad choices As a Monopoly man I made terrible choices I feel like

Monopoly is just one of those games where it never finishes. But it feels like you actually finished it. Oh, well, we finished. My mom and I took out my dad early. And then my mom and I had a back and forth. We were trading properties, trading money, back and forth, back and forth. And eventually I got two really bad rolls in a row and landed on two of her properties. And she just took everything I had

And that was it and that was the end Gone Yeah I got destroyed She was very pleased with herself She was uh I was talking shit and I was punished for it Lessons learned No I didn't

I didn't like Actually go out that night I went back to my apartment And then just like I don't remember what I did I think I just Like sat around watching TV Oh I know what I did I watched this weekend

I watched all of the What the hell is that The great Bake off Oh the great bake off thing yeah All of the, what the hell is that? The Great Bake Off. The Great something. Oh, the Great Bake Off thing, yeah. It's like the Christmas Bake Off that's on the Food Network. And they were playing season three, whatever the 2016 season was.

Okay. And one of the guys on there is this guy from Kentucky. And he looks like an elf, sounds like an elf. But he also has that southern dandy attitude And he's just like I'm so excited to be here And you're just like I love you so much And everyone else in there was

A trained professional chef Dude was a home cook And he was destroying them and I was like yeah It was great it was fun to watch I watched a thing like that I think it was like, yeah! It was great. It was fun to watch. I watched a thing like that. I think it was like Cupcake Wars. This was very similar to that. But it was, this one had that cake Duff guy, Duff the Cake Man, and a British woman who was like really sassy and mean.

And then like a Southern American lady who was like, I love all alcohol foods. Me too. Duff Cake Man. Yeah. Duff, I love all alcohol foods. Me too. Duff Cake Man. Yeah. Duff. You know, Duff. The guy who was like the Ace of Cakes or whatever. Yeah, I got that guy. He was on there and then there was the sassy British lady who did not like

anything and thought everything was too sweet. And then there was the American lady who was like, can't be sweet enough. And then she's like, I need more alcohol. If you're going to call this a rum cake, it better taste like rum. I felt that woman. I felt her in so many ways. I was like, damn right, lady.

Dude, Food Network is like one of the best channels to just go to to leave on or just watch. Absolutely. If you just need noise in the background, plop that on. You'll always be good Unless it's like 2 in the afternoon And it's like Frontier Woman

In which case I hate the actual cooking shows on Food Network suck They just suck The actual shows it's like Diva deliveries Or today I was flipping through and one was Frozen something Where it was Preparing food in advance or today I was flipping through and one was frozen something

where it was preparing food in advance, freezing it, and then pulling it out for parties. And if I know one thing, Chef Gordon Ramsay would be very angry if you froze your food. Yes. I'm just saying. She's like, I made this casserole, and it's this beautiful casserole. It looks amazing.

Now I'm going to freeze it and get it when I need it. It's like, wait, what? Yeah, not my casserole and it's this beautiful casserole Looks amazing now I'm gonna freeze it And get it when I need it it's like wait what Yeah not my casserole No way No way don't freeze your food gang don't Do that yeah don't freeze your food Um unless you're gonna eat it like A year later and it's the apocalypse or something Yeah in this case freeze dry it

Yeah Um yeah I like food I was watching uh' grocery games, I think. It's just a show where, like, guys there to, like, kind of yell at everyone and then there's the judges and everyone's like, go to the grocery store and they gotta, like, do the supermarket sweep but then cook with it. There is

oh my god, you know what you need to watch? I, oh, what is it called? Oh my god. There is a show on Netflix kind of similar to all the shows we're talking about, except it's about, they show you a thing and it's, it's not like just normal people's jobs to recreate it. So they're not professional chefs. So the whole thing is like you create, like they make a cake and then they recreate it the best they can.

And it always looks terrible. And it's amazing. It's so funny. The host is a very, very entertaining, sassy black lady. And the chef who's with her is like this old French, like bald guy, but this like but this pleasantly delightful bald Frenchman. Every week they have a different guest judge, right? Mm-hmm. The very first episode, the very first episode is a little old lady, just a little old New York lady who I guess is very big in the world of cake making.

Little old New York lady who I guess is very big in the world of cake making. And she is the best, funniest, most precious thing that ever lived. They are in the middle of, you know how in most of these shows when they have the three judges, they sit there and they talk to themselves. Yeah. They go through the whole thing. Yeah You know they They go through the whole thing Well this is clearly It's a Netflix show

About baking That is on the same quality Of like You know the old Maker shows we used to do Ah yeah So you know That it's cut

Behind the scenes You know it's gonna be A shit show It translates onto camera And it's amazing The um The old lady She about halfway through

I think gets fed up With the premise of the show And just begins to Walk around the set Like just walk Like she goes to look at pans She goes to look at like the food they have She steals some licorice

At one point she takes a pan She's like I'm taking this pan It's incredible She just goes around and like steals stuff from the set It's I've never seen anything like it It is she's so funny I found the show. It's called Nailed It.

Nailed It. Okay. And here's the thing. It's based off of an internet sensation or something is what it said. So I imagine it is from a YouTube company. Right. And this is, they sold it to Netflix because it has that made at YouTube vibe to it. Yeah, I'm looking here.

to Netflix because it has that made at YouTube vibe to it. Yeah, I'm looking here. The first episode is literally this old lady and she's just. All right. I'm going to watch this. I'm going to bookmark this. You should. Everyone should bookmark it.

Tell us your thoughts. Tweet at us. Let us know your thoughts. It's great. It's so. It is just like you're watching a YouTube series. Wowee Well What did you do for Black Friday then? So you went out to the stores?

Yeah, I got up in the morning And I went just around I went to, so there's a huge mall Well, there are many malls in the area But the one I went to I drove down to the Del Amo which is this very big, very crazy mall. It's technically like three malls in one.

I don't know how to describe it other than that. It's three malls all connected through sky bridges. What? There's an outside mall. There is an inside big mall. And then there's like sort of what I think used to be the old mall That's still connected to it The food court is on a bridge Over a road

That's how big this thing is But it's fascinating to go in there I walked around I realized that kids fashions Are things I would never wear I'm like oh yeah okay Kids these All the clothes that were on sale I I was like, what the hell?

This is half a shirt. You're not a kid anymore. You don't get it. I was like, why would I pay $30 for half a shirt? Where's the value? I know. I was like, hold on. I could go buy a normal t-shirt for $6.

Why do I have to pay $30 for half a shirt. You could just cut it yourself. Right. And many of them looked that way. There you go. I did see a few things that I thought were really cute, and I was like, oh, that's very nice. But the vast majority of it were families that were just standing around. Unlike past years where people were fighting each other, this year it was like families of 25 just standing around.

There were people in the way everywhere. I just wanted to walk around, and there were people just standing there. However, I did discover many things at the mall that I think were pretty on point. First off, they had a thing called dragon fruit or something I don't know what it was But it was freeze dried What appeared to be Like fruit loops

But when you put them in your mouth Smoke and stuff came out of your mouth Oh yeah I've seen that And so there were a bunch of kids standing around Eating that There was a place called Dinosaur Something And it was ice cream cones, but the cones looked like a T-Rex eating the ice cream.

Very creative. That's actually cool. There was a line way outside of that one, so I didn't go in to look. But it wasn't wacky crazy this year. There was just a lot of people. Like a lot. To the point where it became kind of a pain in the ass to get around. Well, that's the thing that happens is like there's so many people, like families and stuff,

that it just takes up the entire aisles of wherever you go. Right. Like there's not really any trampling, there's the like for example i went to the mall went to target and like another place and the mall it was just like you said it was families it's just a bunch of families and then the kids were crying so like we just ate thanksgiving and now we're here and they're just like but look there's a ten dollar tv that'll fall apart tomorrow but you gotta get it because it's ten dollar tv and then there's like the uh the the people that didn't really care they just wanted to go out after eating

uh i wrote down a quote that i think you'll enjoy uh-huh it's uh there we go uh the these two girls talking to each other they're about i say, like between 16 and 20, somewhere in that age range. And they were walking in behind us and the one was like, oh my God, she said, bitch, eat your turkey. And I was like, what?

And then I couldn't hear what they were saying again. But then I heard her say, we're baddies. We fuck shit up. I mean, yeah, that sounds like Thanksgiving. That sounds like Thanksgiving.

Oh, my God. And then I wrote down a dream I had. What? Okay. All right. I accidentally wrote a dream in my Thanksgiving notepad thing. Go for it. And I don't even remember this dream.

Northwest Africa. Injected with dream testing. Get to leave, but to tortilla security exit. How do you know this isn't real? I don't. Oh, my God. The dream's coming back. Okay.

So I knew it was in Northwest Africa because I saw a map. You know those maps in video games where it's like blinking and stuff? It was in Northwest Africa. So I was like was like all right that's where i am and i kept like getting hurt in some way it's like there's like a nail in my hand or like you'd like go through these crazy mazes and then uh like there are these like people that would show up to choose like nicholas cage those types of people show up and be like we need to take you and uh you're like shit dude i'm out of here and you would run and then you'd wake up but then you'd wake up into another dream and then i figured out that it was dream testing so i had to leave but there was like tortillas

at the exit that's all i remember yep yep that means it all checks out if you ask me yeah it all checks out so i'm glad I wrote that down. But aside from that, Black Friday has kind of just become Black November instead. Yeah, and we talked about this before. I think I saw a lot of stuff on Monday that was like, hey, no reason to go out on Black Friday. We can buy it all on Amazon. Here's the thing. This is something I noticed. So my parents, their TV is kind of, it's a little messed up.

It has weird lines going through it and stuff. It's pretty jank. So I was like, well, maybe for this Christmas I'll get my parents a new TV. I feel like that's a pretty solid investment for them. They watch a lot of TV. This could be easy. So I look online to see what the different deals are And Best Buy has a lot of crazy deals

I was like, okay, sure, I'll give it a look I go on Best Buy, there's this one TV It's like $1,000 off It is Like a $600 TV It's huge, and I was like, this would be amazing I go on Amazon Look up the same TV, not on sale, $2 cheaper.

I was like, wait, what? Why would I? And that's the problem is Amazon can just undercut everybody. Yeah, they really can. There's no reason not to just go there. Plus, I have Amazon Prime, so I get it in like two days. to just go there. Plus, I have Amazon Prime, so I get it in like two days.

It's so crazy to me that all of these businesses don't catch on to that. I don't know. It just seems weird. Yeah. Well, let's see. I found an article on it. There's on Black Friday, more U.S. shoppers chose the computer over the mall. Sure. And Black Friday is a no-go for shoppers sick of ads, crowds, and spending.

So look in here. They said, for the first time in at least a decade, Jeannie Mendez did not shop on Black Friday. The 31-year-old Brooklynite didn't head to any stores or check her laptop and phone for online deals. Instead, she planned to head to a local park and go to Manhattan with her parents visiting. Stores are insane. It's stressful, the startup consulant said. People are everywhere. I just want to spend time with my family and be off on Black Friday. While some people think shopping on Thanksgiving is sacrilege, hunts for bargains on Black Friday doesn't have a stigma. An estimated 116 million Americans shopped on Black Friday. But not these people.

Call them Black Friday ditchers. Individuals who refuse to contend with 2 a.m. wake-up calls, crowds body-slamming, and suspicious consumption mere hours after going to the dinner table saying what they're thankful for. Most years, I was disappointed I couldn't have something because you have to be there super early. But I was never an I-have-to-sleep-in-a-tent-to-get-a-TV type of person, they said.

The thing is, like, do those people even exist anymore either? Like, have we moved past the tent sleepers? No, there are definitely tent sleepers because I saw a story about how there are a bunch of tent sleepers outside of a Best Buy and a guy dressed up as a bear went through and ravaged their tents. Yeah, so I saw that. I also saw a video that someone posted where there was a bunch of people, as you know, when they raise the security gate,

and usually in the past people have run out, but like, ah, they run in. This year, it raised all the way. Everyone sat there very polite, raised all the way to the top. Then everyone ran in. So I don't know. I just typed in best Black Friday deals 2018 just to see what this is. This website congregates all the data about what the best purchases you can make would be, right? All right. And many of these, I just, you know, I have a lot of questions.

So, one of the great deals you can get is an Instapot Duo 7-in-1 pressure cooker, $69 with $15 Kohl's cash. Oh my god. So, if you want a pressure cooker, you know, because that's, I mean, yeah, okay, sure. I guess someone out there wants it bad enough that they're going to wake up at 5 a.m. to go get it. But, like, what's the normal price of it? The normal price, it says it's $139.99. The thing is, like, Kohl's is one of those stores that has literally everything on sale

all the time. Right, and couldn't you get a pressure cooker from anywhere else cheaper than $139.99? Hold on, let me just do this. Amazon, I'm about to just prove the point. Amazon.com, this is a Instant Duo Pot 60. I'm just going to look this up, see how much this is.

On Amazon, without this whack-ass promotion, remember, again, $69.99 at Kohl's. Amazon, $69.95. Original price, $69.95. Original price, $99.95. So hold on, you're telling me. It's not only cheaper, but also, originally without the sale on Amazon, it's cheaper by $40. Yeah. This is the problem, people. This is why Kohl's be trying to beg your ass to get in there.

You're asked to get in there. Another one, you have stuff like Office Depot trying to sell you a HP 15-inch touchscreen laptop. Why anyone would buy their laptop from Office Depot is beyond me. Why you would make Office Depot one of the places you go for Black Friday is also beyond me. Like, we gotta get to Office Depot, kids! 5am! We gotta get the paper. You know what? Here's the thing, though. Hover one hoverboard. Um.

Oh, I can't find it. Well, that's a problem. Damn. So on Amazon, they don't... Oh, never mind. Hold on. Hover one hoverboard. Uh... Well, how come the version they're selling at Walmart looks really crappy compared to the ones I see online? This is the problem. They're just getting rid of old stock.

Just analyze what you just said. How come the Walmart version is crappy? I mean, you're right. And you're going to find your answer. It's like none of these things drive me to like go somewhere that's what i'm saying i feel like i don't know i i feel like if you're just buying things to buy them because they're on sale you're missing the point of buying things altogether yeah it's supposed to be like you have a few select things and you're like maybe they'll go

on sale and when they do you're like oh hey now i'll buy those things not like i gotta buy everything because it's on sale yeah this is a deal i can't pass up and it's like well you can you probably should yeah and the thing is it's those deals a vast majority of deals are not even in november they're like year round like you'll go there all the time they, hey, there's sales because they're all struggling to make money because they want to make sales. Yeah, I feel like Black Friday, and we say this every year, we're like it's run its course, nothing, Black Friday's done. And then every year something wacky happens.

I'm sure we'll find out. Like I said, a man dresses a bear to destroy tents outside of a Best Buy, and that's pretty great. That is pretty great. That is the type of thing we've been looking for. But like outside of that, yeah, and that's pretty great. That is pretty great. That is the type of thing we've been looking for. But outside of that, yeah, it's like, eh, it's okay. Which I wonder, will there be a day where Black Friday is no longer a thing? It's just all online?

Well, I feel like if we ever have a – if the economy ever tanks hard, right? If we ever have one of those things where people stop buying things as much as they do now, and then Black Friday comes around and there's sales, people go crazy trying to buy it. Yeah. Because I think right now, currently, people are buying, I'm pretty sure more than they can actually afford, but people are purchasing things at a higher level than usual well i heard most people spend like eight hundred dollars on christmas per like family the the problem too is like half the time they get people stuff that

they don't want and that's why like the day after christmas is like the biggest return day just people just sending shit back it's one of those things where people buy things to buy them so they can say they gifted someone a gift. Yeah. Right? And I would rather just, like, I don't want a gift that I can't use. I'd rather just give me a card and, like, hey, here's some scratchers. Here's some lottery scratch-offs.

Enjoy. I'd be happy with that. Yeah. And then when you lose, it's like, eh. Yeah, I'm playing the game. I have a chance to win. If I don be happy with that. Yeah. Then when you lose, it's like, yeah, I'm playing the game. I have a chance to win. If I don't win, whatever. And I throw it in the trash and it doesn't clutter my home. Yeah. Basically

what I'm saying, if you are a friend of mine and you live in Los Angeles and you want to get me a gift, don't. Buy me lotto scratchers. I will take those. Oh my god. That's like, my grandma does that every year because she's just like guess who won and then one person will win like five dollars out of the like 20 that's what i'm saying that's what my dad every year my dad shows up probably goes out the

night before he goes on christmas eve i know this is what happens he goes on christmas eve buys like a like an envelope puts maybe like a 50 in, and then a bunch of scratchers. And that's it. And that is a quality gift, if you ask me. I know. I don't need you to spend hours thinking about what I want. You don't know what I want? Give me some money.

I'll get what the hell I want. Because it turns out mostly what I want is probably like a burrito or something. And like some scratchers that's a good that's what people get caught up in like well i wonder if jesse needs a new sweater or like a nice a nice chiffon bedspread i don't i don't know i don't even know what that is i don't want it yeah you already got a bedspread yeah i already have a bed i don't need to spread on it. Yeah. I think that Black Friday it's going to be gone by the year 2035.

That's very conservative of you. Write that down. By 2035, wow, you're really taking a gamble on this one. You're out on a limb alone. But Cyber Monday will still be a thing.

Again, why is Cyber Monday a deal? Cyber Monday, there's no difference than the actual. If I, again. Then they got Small Business Saturday. Small Business Saturday, I kind of get. I think Black Friday should be for small businesses. Yeah, I agree. Like boutiques and weird stuff like that.

I think that's where it should really shine. Because if you're going to Black Friday at Walmart or Costco or whatever, you're missing the point. Yeah. Entirely. It should be, yeah, go to the small businesses. Go to the places that are selling the weird purses that they hand-stitched or the glass ornaments they made. Things that are unique that they have on sale. A business is like, I made this in the summertime, but no one bought it,

so I'm putting it on sale for 90% off. Go help those people. Yeah, exactly. Don't go to Walmart and buy another crappy rug that's made out of, I don't know, what are Walmart rugs made out of like i don't know what walmart rugs nylon like toothbrush fibers yeah toothbrush fiber and toothbrush toothbrush fibers and toothbrush and toothbrush and teeth now i gotta go to walmart oh my, yeah, you know, just I don't even know the point. Just go buy stuff or don't.

Or don't. But speaking of buying things, Crandor. Speaking of toothbrushes. Yeah, speaking of buying stuff and toothbrushes, let me tell you about Quip. New tell. Gentlemen, ladies, everyone listen right now. Brush your damn teeth. We can't stress this enough.

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I'm sure you'll enjoy it. And I'm sure you'll enjoy telling everyone about it like I do. Anyway, Crandor, let's go to traffic. This guy's Crandor. Crandor, how's the traffic out there? Oh, man. Traffic out there is actually pretty calm because everybody's still at home. But it is Monday.

But over here, we're getting snowstorms so a lot of people might not have to go to go to school today so that'll clear up the roads even more uh but if you are back at uh you know back at your job today uh you know there's probably still some people calling in sick uh trying to take like a super long weekend uh and then what's that down there? Yep, yep. That is a bear, and he is destroying tents. I see him. He is still at Best Buy, and nobody

can even get into the building. That bear is ferocious. When will he ever be brought down back to you? Thanks, Crandor. Now let's go over to Crandor at the weather desk. Crandor, how's that weather? Weather desk today. Let's see.

7, 8, 4, 6, 1. Nothing. 6, 6, 1, 0, 1. What? Kansas City. Oh, how did that? Wait, hold on. How did the first one not have a thing?

All right, you know what? I'm not going to question it. I'm not going to question it. I'm not going to question it. I don't know how these zip codes work. I just put in the numbers. You do do that. That's true. Let's see.

Kansas City's 26 degrees, 18 degrees right now, or tonight. Then they got Monday 31 degrees. It looks like they just had the snowstorm yesterday, so they probably got a lot of snow piled up over there. Mamma mia. Then Monday night, 16 degrees. Tuesday, 30 degrees with some sun. You'll take a look at that 10-day forecast,

and it looks like it's going to be 42, 47, 49, 44, so pretty mild temperatures with some rain in there, but then it's going to start getting colder. Snow's going to start hitting, and mamma mia, we got a blizzard going on outside. Is that it? Yeah, I don't know. All right.

And let's go to sports. Sports. Oh, man. We are up at the sports desk on a sports-filled day. We had more football action today. A lot of football action. Just for the record. Just for the record. Right. Let me describe being a Steelers fan for you.

Today, the Steelers not only managed a trick play to get a touchdown, they also managed a 97-yard run for a touchdown. Well, actually it was a 97-yard play, but whatever. They managed a 97-yard play for a touchdown. Well, actually it was a 97-yard play, but whatever. Yeah, it was a 97-yard play.

They managed a 97-yard play for a touchdown. Still lost. Still lost! Two incredible moments, still lost. Welcome to being a Steelers fan. What a massive pain in the ass. Yeah. It's not too good,

but I mean, they're still in first place, I think. I know the Ravens moved up one. The Ravens did move up one, but Steelers are still up there by a game and a half because they got the tie on them. Well, Baltimore won. They beat Oakland. Buffalo beat Jacksonville, who's lost seven in a row. Seattle beat Carolina.

The Browns beat the Bengals as Cleveland continues to rise from the ashes. What is happening? You know what? I know. They were like, we need Condoleezza Rice in here. And just the thought that Condi Rice was coming back, everyone was all hype. And now they're ready.

Well, one of the funny things is the Browns old coach is now an assistant with the Bengals. And so the one guy intercepted it and then handed it to him on the sideline. So it's kind of a shot at him or a goof. And the Patriots beat the Jets. Eagles beat the Giants. Bucks beat the 49ers. Chargers beat the Cardinals.

Colts beat the Dolphins. Broncos beat the Steelers. Tennessee, Houston tomorrow night. On Thanksgiving's Day,gers beat the Cardinals, Colts beat the Dolphins, Broncos beat the Steelers, Tennessee, Houston tomorrow night. On Thanksgiving's day, Bears beat the Lions, Washington lost to Detroit, or Dallas, I mean, and then New Orleans beat Atlanta, and right now the Packers

are tied 14-14. And I mean, there's some other NBA, NHL's all still happening, but like, they have like 80 games to go still, so that's whatever. And that's sports. Alright, what is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. Alright, hold on,

hold on. Holding. Alright, keep holding, keep holding. Holding. Bear Best Buy. Where's the story? There's gotta be a story. There's gotta be around here. So, I found it. I found what you were looking for. Oh, okay? There's got to be a story. It's got to be around here. So I found it. I found what you're looking for.

Oh, okay. There's a website where they fact-check stories. And this says, Was a man in a bear costume arrested for tearing apart tents of Black Friday campers? Among the now familiar yearly scenes engendered by the aggressive advertising approach are brawls taking place as customers fight over discount merchandise and shoppers lining up outside stores. Okay. The phenomenon of Black Friday, bargain seekers sleeping overnight in parking lots and sidewalks, has been spoofed in many ways, including a popular online graphic that pauses the story about a man being arrested for terrorizing Black Friday campers by dressing in a bear costume and tearing apart their tents. And it shows this picture.

The graphic was spoofed and not real. However, the man in bear costume arrested for tearing apart tents of Black Friday campers headline has been used with satirical articles and the output of make-your-own-news-prank websites. Boo! Boo! Um. Boo!

The tent picture was from Black Friday, but it's from Black Friday 2014, and the man in the photograph was arrested from a flood Wall Street environmental protest. Ah, boo. That's dumb. It's not real. Fake news. Stupid. Yeah, that's stupid.

Fake news. That's so dumb. So really, nothing happened this Black Friday. Black Friday was boring, is what I'm getting. Let's just call it Boring Friday from now on. Yeah, just call it Friday. We have no Black Friday. We have no Monkey Monday. This place is becoming a disaster.

Oh, everything's ruined. Oh, here was the one story everyone wanted us to do. Okay. was the one story everyone wanted us to do okay uh florida man uh revealed on video sneaking into restaurant munching on ramen um can i tell you something yes i i was about to send you this story my headline says naked in florida naked florida man breaks into restaurant to eat ramen noodles play bongos and then then literally the photo is... Here's the thing. The naked man photo looks like some sort of monster.

Oh, yeah, I see that. It looks like some sort of Wendigo monster creature. But anyway, yes, please continue. This is definitely our story of the week. Yeah, this is the story of the week. Of course. It started with chicken wings, a beer, and a burglar. It also went downhill from there.

A St. Petersburg police officer was investigating a November 6th break-in at the Chathaway restaurant, reviewing surveillance video that shows a burglar devouring a plate of chicken wings and enjoying a beer inside the kitchen. But then the officer stumbled across another incident from the night before. The video shows a man riding his bike up to the restaurant, pedaling around the parking lot for 10 minutes, then slipping in through the back gate. After wandering around a bit, he opens the door to a shed for storing odds and ends, and removes

them one by one. The man gains access to a restaurant bathroom and exits without his clothes on. He proceeds to sit naked at one of the restaurant's picnic tables and digs into a meal. I like this! He digs into a meal he brought with him.

Moroccan instant lunch ramen. The video also shows him playing the bongos, also naked. He came in with pants, but he rode off on a bike without pants. Shadoway server Chad Pearson

says, I'm not sure if he took his pants with him but we didn't find them. We still don't know where his pants are. Where did his pants go? That's the real story. He took his pants off. Where did his pants go?

His pants can't just vanish. They can't just vanish unless he's a ghost, which is quite possible. It's quite possible this is all paranormal. Yeah. He spray painted a few chairs, the bongos, and a pickle jar. But his handiwork was barely noticeable. Manager Amanda Kito said. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Time out. Time out. Let me just see if I have the timeline of this story correct. This guy rode up on a bike, brought with him ramen that he somehow made? I guess. It was like instant ramen, but how could he eat the instant? Did he get hot water? From... Did he get hot water? From where did he get hot water?

He must have got it from the restaurant. Okay. Sure. Then he made ramen, started playing the bongos, lost his pants somewhere along the line, then proceeded to tag with spray paint the chair and a pickle jar? Why would he tag a pickle jar? Why? And the bongos.

Why would he tag his own bongos? Wait, were they his bongos? I don't know, but he spray painted those things. I don't even know if he wrote anything on it. He just spray painted. Where are the bongos? Did he bring the bongos? Was it the restaurant's bongos?

Why does the restaurant have bongos? We would not have known about the naked guy without the cop finding that video, kiddo said. Yeah, so it was closed. The restaurant was closed. This dude showed up. How did he make his ramen? Where did he get the hot water? I mean, the water's still got to work, right?

The hot water? Where? How? Maybe he microwaved it. I have so many questions. I have so many questions. I have so many questions. This story does not provide answers.

Police identified the man who was homeless but did not release his name. Kiddo declined to give his name and said the restaurant will not press charges because he caused no harm his goal was to not break in his goal was to just hang out at the chadoway what about the first guy police are still trying to catch him he enjoys wait what first guy wasn't that the same guy go back to the beginning of this story okay so someone broke in you're telling me that the beginning of the story which we pretty much skipped over a dude broke in ate some chicken wings is that what it said and then this other guy just went in because it was broken into and just sat around i think so hold on okay on. Okay. So somebody across and wait. Okay.

So the Choway restaurant, this is a play of chicken wings, beer kitchen. Then the officer stumbled across another incident from the night before. Oh, so this is once from the night before. It sounds to me like these people don't know how to lock their damn restaurant.

Seriously. If this happened two nights in a row, It sounds to me like these people don't know how to lock their damn restaurant. Yeah, seriously. If this happened two nights in a row, that's a problem. That's just a problem. He made himself... Wait, hold on. Police are still trying to catch him. He enjoyed the plate of chicken wings and some beer and stole an estimated $500 worth of stuff, including cash tips, a laptop, a tablet, and a grocery bag

he filled with beer. He made himself at home. He spent over an hour just milling around, going room to room and eating and drinking while he did it. The man also tried to unsuccessfully access the safe using his hands, a pot handle, and tongs. I mean, as you do.

As you... The guy knows what's up. That's how you get into any good safe. Kiddo is confident that even though the two incidents happened back to back, they're not connected. I used to always joke and say that if you were going to break into the Chataway to make sure to grab a beer and it finally happened. I'm not saying I was the one who did it, but this is an unsolved case and we are trying to track down the thief. the one who did it, but this is an unsolved case, and we are trying to track down the thief. Yeah, it's like, hey, no harm. He wasn't doing anything.

He just stole some beer, spray painted some shit, sat naked on our stuff. No, no. The first guy stole beer. This guy, all he did was sit naked and eat, and then he left. Oh, yeah. Maybe it's like his friend or something and he's like all this shit i got from the chataway and he's like yo i want to go see that place so he just walked over there he's not like a bad guy he just wanted to go and hang yeah so he just went and

hang up i'll tell you what the chataway they wouldn't get rid of monkey mondays they would not that's all i'm saying they would not. Well, until it got stolen from them. Until all the monkeys were stolen. But they would do it. Monkeys keep getting stolen. Let's go back and look at this tape. Why are there so many naked people here? Or the monkey would bite and fight back.

That's a powerful monkey. Maybe the monkey would go hang out with the naked guy. That's true. Maybe that's why he gets naked and the monkey would go hang out with the naked guy. That's true. Maybe that's why he gets naked and the monkey walks away with his pants. Every time the monkey takes his pants and he's like, oh, jeez, monkey, keep my pants back. Either way, you know what? That's a pretty good story. That's a pretty good story.

It's a little complicated, but I liked it. I liked it. Yeah, I did too. Well, that's it for us, everybody. Thank you so much for listening or watching or however you're enjoying this podcast. Crendor, hit up the socials. Hey, do you like this podcast? Why not listen to all the episodes in a backlog?

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neighbors show your uncle's neighbors show your grandma's neighbors show your dog's neighbors show everybody and that's all I got alright well we'll see you next time and as always I don't have the belt.

I have walnuts. To be continued. To be continued.