Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 174 - The Good List

Episode Date: December 3, 2018

What starts as a discussion about something totally different ends in a giant list of the one thing you need to get from every single chain restaurant they guys can think up. Why?! Even they aren't sure. Also we return to the wild adventures of Florida Man! All this and more on the latest Cox n' Crendor! Get 15% off your first pair of MeUndies plus free shipping at http://meundies.com/crendor Go to http://tipsyelves.com and enter code COX for 20% your order.

Today's episode is brought to you by me, undies. The undies I put all over me. I don't just wear them, I like to lay on them. They're so soft. Yeah, you tape them together. Yeah, I tape them all together and wear them as a bodysuit. They're amazing. Yes.

Also today we're brought to you by Tipsy Elves. For some reason, people decided the holiday time was about ugly Christmas sweaters. And you know what? You need to get one. You need to get an ugly Christmas sweater. If you don't guess one, you're falling behind. And we're going to help you out. Got to do it.

Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, of Cox and Crendo in the morning. Hi. Yes, hello? Hey there.

Oh, hi. Where were you? I was right here the whole time. Uh, false. You were not. I did not. It's true. You were like... All I did was turn my head up. Oh, so you shouted hey to the sky. Yeah, I shouted it to the sky.

Wow. Did anyone answer back it to the sky. Wow. Did anyone answer back? That sounds like a song. I shouted hey to the sky, but did anyone answer back? It's definitely Christian rock. Yeah. Definitely. That's got it.

Oh, my God. I shouted hey to the sky. Shout to the sky is a song. Yeah. Is the lyric I shouted hey to the sky. Shout to the sky is a song. Yeah. Is the lyric I shouted hey to the sky? No. But that means it's all ours now. Copyright.

Copyright. I shouted hey to the sky. But it didn't shout back. It rained all over me. But hey, that's okay. because I got my pickup truck. And my wife, she didn't leave me, and I still have my old dog. Now we're going down to the old tavern. That didn't really flow well.

Doesn't have to rhyme, because I'm feeling good, and life is okay. Yeah, we're positive country songs. Yeah. Yep, exactly. So how are you? What's going on with you? I mean, I'm doing all right. It's crazy weather over here. We got a blizzard. It rained here, so don't tell me about crazy. Well, we had a blizzard, and then the blizzard went away,

and then now it's like 50 degrees and raining outside, and then it's supposed to get cold, but then it's supposed to get warm again, so it's like I don't even know. It rained for like four days straight where I live here in L.A. There are parts of the city that weren't even getting rain, yet it was just raining on me for four days. And I got so excited I dropped a pen.

I got a pen in my hand and I was like, oh, rain! Yeah. Wow-ee. When's the last time it rained that much? Last year this time, pretty much. I think it's one of those things that if we didn't live so far south it would be snow oh yeah and that would suck because i've lived in some like new england snows yeah northern western new york snows and they suck well as somebody who does deal with snow when you live in a place that deals with snow they like deal with it really well

already it's like everything's salted. Everything's good to go. And then the worst part is just if you have to actually drive in it while it's snowing. If you drive the next day, it's not that bad. Here, it rained a little bit, and I've never seen so many car crashes. And then when people do drive, they're driving like 15 miles per hour. It's like both of these are dangerous. Driving too slow on the highway and then driving too fast.

Both dangerous in this weather situation. Please just use your brain. People are like, oh, Jesus. Yeah. Get me home. I never knew why people decide to drive slow like I get. They're like, oh, I got to go so slow because I want to crash. But it's like when you do that,

people are going normal speed, and then they gotta slam their brakes on for you, and then they're gonna rear-end you. So really, you're doing yourself a disservice. Especially when you're getting onto the highway. When you're trying to get on the highway and the person in the lane you're trying to merge into is going less than or the exact same speed as

you, and you're just like, okay, I'll slow down. And then you try to slow down, but then they slow down and then rain's pouring, and you're just like, okay, I'll slow down. And then you try to slow down, but then they slow down, and then rain's pouring down, and you're just like, please move for the love of God. I will drive you off the road. I don't care. Yeah, it's pretty bad, especially L.A., because it's like those people, some people grow up there, right?

And they just, that's all they know. And so when you get something that isn't like 70 degrees or like 100 degrees, and it just throws off their entire life. For the first time in six years of living here, I saw someone in a driving school car. I didn't even know they had driving schools. And I just thought people just took the test. And if you passed, you got to drive. I had no clue they had driving schools. I just thought people just took the test, and if you passed, you got to drive. I had no clue they were driving schools.

I had to go to a driving school in order to do the tests and everything. Yeah. I always see driving school things around here. I have not ever seen one here in L.A., not once. I saw one the other day for the first time. I was like, wow, they finally got driving schools out here. That's crazy. I even had it in high school.

My high school had driving school cars. That's what I'm saying. In Ohio, we had to take a driving school thing. Yeah. We had to. And usually, like, partner up with somebody, and then the main person being like, all right. They got their clipboard, like, let's have you do a three-point turn.

Oh, do they have brakes on their side, too? Yeah, they had the brakes on theirs. That sucked because I had a lady who was really scared for her life when I drove. And I was very, very good, but she'd always stop me. And I'd just be driving and she'd be like, put on your brakes. I'm like, what? What do you mean? No one's near us.

And she's like, brake check, brake check. I'm like, what? So she's like, brake check, brake check. Like, what? I feel like, I don't know. I want to know what the driving regulations or rules are everywhere. I wonder if it's in somewhere like Idaho or something. It's like, hey, you teach your kids how to drive.

And then you go to the license. There's some places, I think, like Nevada, where there's like, F it. I think the rule is F it. Yeah. And then there's probably some super strict ones, too, out it. I think the rule is F it. Yeah. And then there's probably like some super strict ones too out there. I want to know. Everybody in the comments or the whatever, give us your driving regulations where you live or what you had to do to learn how to drive. Yeah. What you have to do because I feel like I had to go through a lot.

I even, because my parents were like, we want to save money on insurance, I had to sit through one of those, like, blood on the asphalt courses. And so I had to watch a bunch of videos that were essentially, don't do this, do this, here's a video of a guy being, like, scraped off the pavement, that kind of stuff. Yeah. It was called, like, a safe driving course. I did save on my insurance, though, but it was weird.

It was me and a bunch of old people. Yeah, it's one of those things where they're like a safe driving course. I did save on my insurance though, but it was weird. It was me and a bunch of old people. Yeah, it's one of those things where they're like, look what happens to you if you do this thing. And it's like, I think people get it, but it's like most of the time it's the dumb people that do those things. It's like when they're like, hey, look what smoking can do to your body. It's like, it's not going to stop people smoking. Well, you know what? It might not stop the people who are currently smoking, but apparently young people smoke much, much less.

Like, cigarettes are a failing industry for young people, but that's only in places like the United States and stuff. Yeah. Well, I don't think it's due to their marketing. I think it's due to people just being smarter and knowing, like, hey, this is good. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Well, I don't think it's due to their marketing. I think it's due to people just being smarter and knowing like, hey, this is what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think it has to do with all those don't smoke campaigns and things.

But also with that said, vaping has like drastically increased. The rise of vaping is insane. It's at the point where they got the jewels too. You ever, you know, those jewels? They look like sorry what what you ever heard of a jewel no i don't know what that is so i don't know what

that was either uh is it a pen is it one of those pens it looks like a usb uh like flash drive what yeah and it's like uh it's just like a cigarette type vape thing and so i was listening what but it looks like a flash drive yeah do you think we could go to a convention and then sell flash drives as vape drives and see if like just see if kids i guarantee it i got like 50 old flash drives that are like 16 gigabytes behind me that i never use we can just like vape drive look at Juul. What the hell? Yeah, it's like a flash drive. Look at that. But it's just a vape pen then.

Yeah, pretty much. I'm not cool that it's called Juul, J-U-U-L. Yeah. I feel like that's pretty dumb. I only learned about this because I was on Twitter and there was like trending Juul. And I was like, what the shit is this? And I clicked on it. And there was like this one, like, he looked like the kid from Willy Wonka.

And he had a jewel. And his, like, profile pic was that. And he was like, come at me, bro. And he was just using his jewel. And I was like, what the shit is this? And then I looked into it. And I was like, oh, a jewel is just like a vape pen thing. But apparently all the kids are doing it because they're just like, hey, it's a flash drive, mom.

And then it's not. It's tobacco, nicotine. Well, not to bits. That is. That's incredible. That's actually. I'm not going to lie. Kids, you're always one step ahead of adults.

You always are. That's really clever to be like, it's just a flash drive. Now, here's what I would say as a nerd adult. I'd be like, bitch, that is the biggest year. Is it 1994? That's a big-ass flash drive now here's what i would say as a nerd adult i'd be like bitch that is the biggest year is it 1994 that's a big-ass flash drive yeah let me see that what you got on there and they'd be they'd be like no you can't i just plug it into my computer i'd be like oh i wonder if it's gonna load it's frying my jewel why could god why do you have to get in the nicotine, Billy?

Why can't you look at porn like the normal kids? Now, here's the thing. If you somehow create a jewel that is a flash drive. Yeah, then you're. And then you can smoke out the other end of it. Or if you're smart, you stick the part that you stick in your computer in your mouth. And then get all wet, smoke on it. Then you stick it in the the part that you stick in your computer in your mouth and then get all wet smoke on it then he's taking the computer nothing can go wrong it'd be great that is a brilliant idea it'd be great yeah brilliant why are we on the forefront

we should be on the forefront uh yeah it's one of those things where like they got the vape they got the fruit pods too so when you vape it it smells smells like, you know, like fruit, like grapes and peaches and shit. Yeah, I'd rather if I'm going to smoke something, I'd rather walk away smelling like wood, like musky wood. I don't want to smoke a thing and then walk away smelling like car scent. Dude. Like I went to got my car washed. Here's the thing. You can buy you can probably buy tobacco scent.

And there you go Oh I don't want tobacco scent I don't want people to know that I vape Because that's lame What I do want is for people to be like Oh he smells like he just worked with sandalwood And made a nice display rack for his samurai swords That sounds extremely nerdy they got like all this like mimp was this

cream cucumber the ship i don't even know i don't listen i don't i'd smoke a cucumber if i could if i could like grind up a cucumber i'd smoke it my friend steve vapes and whenever we'd like drive him home after we'd get food with him, he would vape, and it just smelled like Starburst. It was actually kind of nice. I was like, hey, it's not too bad. But that's, like, their marketing thing towards it. The Juul companies, I heard it on the radio.

They'll be like, hey, so don't you hate that smell of cigarettes? Get a Juul. Like, they're selling it like the healthier option when really it's just the same thing but in a little USB drive, get a Juul. They're selling it like the healthier option when really it's just the same thing but in a little USB drive and it smells different. Yeah, I don't have the patience to form another addictive habit. I'm already addicted to so many other things.

Yeah, that's true. Sorry, cigarettes. I don't have time for you. I can't do that. That's too much work. You mean I gotta go out and buy them? Hard pass. I can't do that. That's too much work. You mean I got to go out and buy them? Hard pass. Yeah, not a fan.

I can't even be an alcoholic because I don't want to have to go to the grocery store to get enough alcohol. The only thing I'm addicted to is eating too much. That's a huge problem for me. That's a problem. I take it you're off the Crenn diet. No, I am on on the my parents had a bunch of blue aprons that they had ordered but they can't eat so they gave them to me so i'm making yesterday i had fish it was very nice damn fish and rice and like a kale thing with a with

that creme fresh that was great we're not even sponsored by him this podcast we're still promoting i actually still get blue apron I pay for it myself. You know what? It's not bad. It's pretty good. There's a lot of good ones. They made quesadilla stuff. They got good steaks.

I've been getting the steak, and they gave you some potatoes. They got kale salad or whatever salad. Not romaine. I made a kale and rice creme fraiche thing. Yeah. Creme fraiche. Creme fraiche. Creme fraiche. not romaine i made like a kale and rice on the recall fresh thing yeah creme fresh creme fresh this is creme fresh yeah it's not it's not bad i definitely think it's one of those if you can afford it kind of deals because i feel like yeah you can go out and probably get eight of one of the meals for the same price yeah it's one of those things where like if we didn't get sponsored by them and them giving us like a try it type of thing i probably wouldn't

have did it but now it's like so convenient where i'm like there's a lot of times i'll go to the grocery store and then i just buy stuff and then i just don't use it and have to throw it away and i'm like the times i do that i just put it towards this food and then i actually eat it because they tell me what to do yeah so That's the biggest thing for me Is having extra food Where I spend so much time at work That unless I bring it with me 90% of the food I buy ends up

Waste which sucks Because that's like a huge problem That especially Americans We have like a big issue When you go out to dinner and they give you Just a bunch of food and you're like I'm good i don't want any more it's like half of your plate is left yeah i'm like you could give me a better quality meal half of that and i'd be much happier than having like 80 pounds of pasta yeah that's like it's a very uh older generation thing where they're like i want

a lot of food for my money it's definitely one of those things where it's like even if i get a lot it's like a like the pasta thing where i know i'm gonna eat more of it later like i'll take it home and eat it later but even then it has to be good enough for me to want to do that like the only thing i can remind like think of off the top of my head is the cheesecake factory and i'd get the chipotle chicken pasta it was good pasta i don't know how to make that cheesecake factory well I hate the Cheesecake Factory. Well, here's the thing. There's a vast majority of items at the Cheesecake Factory that I hate and I would never eat. And I only get that pasta thing because I know it's good.

It's that thing where people are like, there's so many things. And it's like, I'm only going to order this one thing. If you're like, why order something else else unless it's like you know everything else is good like if you're at some fancy place or something you're like wow i'll try i want to try everything like if it's something like this i'm not gonna be like give me the chicken alfredo sir like yeah right and then if you're at olive garden just just leave yeah get up and leave there's literally out of all the Italian places Olive Garden is like the bottom tier

You know what Except for that soup and salad Soup salad bread steak I don't know what crack they put in that But it is somehow delicious Somehow if you're there for anything but the pasta It's good Yeah it's

Well It's, well, I don't know about that. It's the same thing like Red Lobster. Yeah. Those biscuits are godly. They're like next level biscuits. But I don't know that I'd be like, yeah, this is where I'm going to go get my all you can eat shrimp buffet. Those biscuits, though, they're solid biscuits. Yeah, there's some things that every

one of those places has that it's like, alright, you know, I can see why people would come here, like the biscuits, and then everything else is just like, what's the, like, outback? They got the Bloomin' Onion. Yeah, you don't need to go there for anything else. You know what? Oh my god, we need to make

a perfect night menu Okay Okay On this list I have all the chains and ranks Okay Number one, McDonald's You know what we can get from McDonald's?

McDonald's french fries That's solid Starbucks, small coffee, black Subway Let's do a Subway six-inch turkey bacon. You can't go wrong with turkey. You can't go wrong with turkey, and bacon's always good. Yeah. Taco Bell.

I like the cheesy gordita crunch. You know what? That's a solid choice Cheesy Gordita Crunch. You know what? That's a solid choice. One Cheesy Gordita Crunch. See? There's a good thing from everywhere. Burger King? Actually, there's nothing good at Burger King.

What's going on? Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich. That shit is amazing. Or the Spicy Chicken Nuggets, but they got rid of them. Yeah. So now you just have to order a sandwich and get rid of the bread. Yeah. Chick-fil-A, chicken sandwich.

Come on. That's easy. No doubt. That's easy. Dunkin' Donuts, the coffee. Just give me a black coffee. Two coffees. We're up to two coffee.

Yeah. Domino's, you know what? Sometimes, it depends on how drunk we are, a Domino's pizza can be good. It can be good. Domino's is actually pretty. They've gotten better. Yeah. I would take Domino's. It's actually it can be good is actually pretty they've gotten better i would take domino's actually better than pizza hut yeah it's better i think it's better than pizza hut now it's better than papa john's that's for sure papa john's is trashed here papa john's

used to be good you get a little like pepper with it now it's now it's awful yeah terrible pizza every time we've wanted a chain pizza just go go Domino's. It's always been good. I've enjoyed Domino's. And they got Parmesan bread bites. Oh, my God. Panera bread? Easy. Easy choice.

All right. Get the pick two. Get yourself a soup and sandwich. Call it a life. So good. Pick two. The pick two. KFC?

Come on. KFC has delicious mashed potatoes and gravy. Yes, they do. It's not even real. It's not even real, but it doesn't matter. They're delicious. Even the coleslaw is good. Yeah.

Oh, my God. That's the thing. Screw everything else. The coleslaw is where it's at. It's so good. They probably put sugar in both shit, but I don't even care. It's so good. Chipotle Mexican Grill.

Chips and guac. Applebee's. Oh, my God. Applebee's Oh my god What if we skip that one Buffalo Wild Wings Wings come on that's easy Mango Habanero Wings

Mango Habanero Wings are the way to go Agreed Dairy Queen get yourself a Blizzard Outback obviously Bloomin' Onion that's the way to go. Cracker Barrel Old Country Store. 1,000% not the food. Those little tiny toys that they have on the tables.

Those are the shit! Those are the shit! That's what you play while you're waiting for your other food. Yeah, you're sitting there waiting for your biscuits and gravy or whatever, and you're just sitting there playing with the little toys. That's where it's at! Their food is, like, whatever. They got the one with, like, all all little pegs in the wooden block. Yes, absolutely.

You got to jump them. Yeah. And oh, I would spend 20 minutes doing that. Yeah. Red Lobster, obvious choice. You've got to get the Cheddar Brabants. That's delicious. Cheesecake Factory, whatever the hell that awful shit Crandor gets.

Chipotle chicken pasta. I'm telling you, if you have to go to Cheesecake Factory, get Chipotle chicken pasta. You will not be disappointed. They can't mess it up. Red Robin. I think Red Robin. Probably like the Red Robin burger, the one that has the egg on

it is pretty legit. Yes. What's that? Hold on. Red Robin gourmet burger. They got like a gourmet burger thing. What is it? There's one that I got not that long ago. It is the... Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, b The Royal Red Robin's the one I'm talking about. That's the one you're talking about, but I'm talking about... Goddamn, where'd they get rid of it? They better not go... It's gotta be...

Oh, wait. It's like the peppercorn burger. Alright. Sure, alright, I get that. Peppercorn burger, yeah, that's a good one. And if you can't get that one, you get the Royal Red Robin. Five Guys Burgers and Fries, the fries, obviously. The burgers are like, meh, but the fries Red Robin. Five Guys Burgers and Fries. The fries, obviously. The burgers are like, meh, but the fries

are amazing. Waffle House? You go there for the entertainment. You bring the crazy people there home. You're not there for the food. You're there for the naked dude at 4am. That's what you're there for. No doubt. TGI Fridays?

Maybe one of those Kahlu mixed drinks everything else there's pretty shit tgi fridays is like all i think of is microwavable like frozen stuff you buy at the grocery yeah that's all they serve there anyway steak and shake those steak burgers are the steak burgers also a steak burger and a shake. Yeah, it's in the name. Wingstop, obviously, Mango Habanero. Every wing place, Mango Habanero. Raisin Cane's, those chicken fingers are so good.

I never had Raisin Cane's. Oh, my God. They're right near BlizzCon. Next time you're down here, we'll go. All right. Literally, they just serve chicken fingers. That's all they serve there. Yeah, I think that's like it.

BJ's Restaurant and Brewhouse, I imagine the BJ's are why people are going. Gotta get the BJ. But like, yeah, that would be a night where we die afterwards. But that would be like if we can travel to every single place, that's what we'd get. Yeah. I think that's pretty solid. Yeah. I don't know why we did that.

I don't either. I have no clue why we did that, but it was fun to do. Yeah, I feel like people appreciate it, you know? Yeah, because even at shitty restaurants you can find something good, unless it's Applebee's or T-Shirt Friday. Yeah. Yeah, that's – you're not getting it. Oh, man. Wait, what about Arby's?

Arby's? Arby's? Arby's? People shit-talk it, but sometimes you're in the mood for an Arby's sandwich. Sometimes you're like, you know what? I need that Arby's, like, horsey sauce and shit. I want that. Dude. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I remember. I used to get Arby's popcorn chicken and curly fries. It was a good combo. Their curly fries are pretty legit. Yeah. They're pretty good. It's – I will say, people talk crap on Arby's all pretty legit. Yeah. They're pretty good.

I will say, people talk crap on Arby's all the time, mostly because the Simpsons did it. But what I will say is that sometimes in your life you're ready for an Arby's. Sometimes when you're at your lowest point in life, when you think I've got nothing else to live for, you want that Arby's sandwich. And it's good. It's real good at the time. You just want that roast beef and curly

fries. That's all you want. Yeah. And then you just put a little of the Arby's or horse, whatever, you know, all the different sauces on it, man. Come on. Put a little horse on there. That's the extra flavor. Arby's, put a little horse on it. Yeah. Yeah.

That's pretty good. I'm glad we did that and then obviously go to mcdonald's you ordered all the things we created yes obviously that's the only reason to go to mcdonald's by the way was it target the other day oh boy yeah uh they were just looking at stuff and this lady didn't even know if she worked there or not but then we realized she did work there just started being like talking to herself i guess but then she started talking like to us and she was just like yeah everyone says this is a dream job but it's not and i was like uh yeah and she's like that's what my mom said, you know? She'd say, oh, you want to get that job at Target, huh? It's a dream job, magical place. And I was like, yeah, you'd think it's Disneyland or something.

And she's like, yeah, haha. You know, I got this red lipstick over here. I put it on, you know, a lot because my boyfriend hates it. So I just do it to mock him yeah i was like all right we're gonna that's cool have fun she's like yeah man i just i got so much to do this cart's almost empty i gotta restock the shelves the other carts uh still kind of full though it's like ah yeah it's the cart looks done like slowly walking away and she's like yeah i get the personality with the job and i was like yep all right it's like i walked away and i was like wow as you

leave she just is back behind you like so i have some other things i want to talk about i hope you don't mind it's uh kind of lonely over here it was just i don't i don't know if she just had nobody to talk to or she's like end of the day and she's going crazy Or like she's just crazy in general It's just one of those weird Weird employees Made me not want to go back to Target I had my own

I had two run-ins One was at a Best Buy Where the guy I was looking at TVs Because I want to get my parents a new TV for Christmas because their TV has weird lines in it and stuff, and it's just, I've been freaking out about it for a while. I'm trying to find out a TV that they would want to watch, right? Right.

Because they clearly aren't going to be looking for the same stuff I'm looking for in a TV. So I'm going around looking at the TVs, looking at sizes, trying to figure out the distance because, you know, if you're into TVs, you know that bigger TVs, especially nowadays when they're like mega, triple, 20,000K, the closer you are to it, the worse it's going to look. So you want to find one that fits the room that you have. And so I'm looking at different TVs, looking at different models, trying to look at the different color things, and this guy comes over to me and is like, hey, looking at TVs.

And I was like, yeah, yeah. Not really sure what to buy, though. I like this LG one. I think it has really, like, crisp colors. But this Samsung, my parents are, like, kind of used to the way those work. And I'm just going through. And the guy's like, well, if you look over here at this one, it starts showing me around. Just showing me around.

And I'm kind of half paying attention. I look down. He doesn't work there. He does not. He has no Best Buy outfit on. He's just a dude. And I wasn't even paying attention. The guy was just like, yes, these are some good TVs. And I was like, thank you. And he's like, yep.

And he walked back over and then hung out with his family again. His kids were just like playing with MacBooks. And he was just talking to me about TVs. And I thought he was an employee. And the dude just, yeah, okay, well, nice talking to you, and just walked away. Well, nice talking to you and just walked away. I want to point out for the record, the cream on top of this story, I don't know what that means, the cream on the story is that I was wearing that Jimi Hendrix shirt that I always wear where old men come up to me and just act like I'm their friend.

men come up to me and just act like I'm their friend. I think this shirt has magical properties because when I put it on, guys in their 60s come up to me just like, hey, how's it going? I'm like, what the hell is happening? Hendrix vein, huh? Yeah. And the guy sat there for like five or six minutes showing me TVs. And then I finally actually acknowledged what he was wearing, and he was just a dude in a T-shirt.

I was like, wait a minute, he doesn't work here. And then he went back over to his kids, and they were looking at MacBooks. I think he was just bored and came to help me, which says a lot about Best Buy service, because where were their employees? I remember that one time at Best Buy where we had that one guy helping us out and then he just vanished. I do remember that. When we were trying to look for a cord, that guy straight up left for like 20 minutes.

We're like, wait. So he told us to wait here, but for how long? Where did he go? And he was gone. And then he was gone? I don't think he ever came back. I think we just left. Yeah, I don't think he ever came back I think we just left Yeah I don't remember what happened

Whatever the case may be Real fun is what that was But yeah best buy Your service still sucks I wasn't going to buy it there anyway I was going to go online and order it from Amazon But I just wanted to see what they looked like I'm not going to lie I was just browsing

But um Yeah oh and then I'm not going to lie. I was just browsing. But, yeah. Oh, and then I was getting the elevator from my apartment to go down. It was late. I had to go pick something up from the office that I forgot because I'm a dummy. So it was like, I don't know, pretty late one night. And a woman joined me on the elevator, and she was dressed up. She looked great. She had on, I'll be honest, I don't know exactly what she had on,

because it was definitely showing a lot of skin, but she was hiding it under, like, a black trench coat. Right. And the entire elevator trip on the way down, she was just like, you can do this. You can do this. And I was like, you can do what? What can this woman do?

I was mesmerized. Because she was psyching herself up for something. I have no clue what. Because it was 930, and she was going out for the night. And I'm like, is she getting psyched up for a date? Or is this like some sort of booty call thing? Yeah, what's happening right now? Because she was like, you can do this.

She walked out of the elevator. I'm not sure she had any pants on. I don't know what was going on. She straight up was legs and shoes and then this trench coat. I still have no confirmation that there was any clothes on under that. Wowee. And now I'm just like, what was her life like that night? What happened?

I would love to have known. She's on a meeting to go meet the green cheetah. Maybe. And the green cheetah was like, and she was like, no, green cheetah, I couldn't seduce Jesse. She's like, I know, I know. You need to get to his car again. You have gum for him. Yes.

All right. Next time. I promise I'll never fail you again, Green Cheetah. Oh, lego boobalab. And then the Green Cheetah kills her because you don't fail the Green Cheetah ever. No, please spare my life. No. The Green Cheetah will end you.

Green Cheetah does not tolerate failure. Yeah. That's a fact. Failure is not an option. That's a fact. Yeah. If you fail, she can never trust you again And thus you're expendable

I feel like That's just You know You think about the green cheetah And all we've been through And it's still an ongoing story And I don't know if it will ever end It will never cease

The green cheetah is still around. I see her at the apartment complex every once in a while, and she is just as crazy looking as she always was. She's still lying you over. She isn't in my complex. She's like two buildings down. So I only ever see her outside, and she's always waiting for someone, but no one ever shows up.

She's waiting for you. Oh, my God. Wow. Wow. Do you think I should get her a jewel and bring it as, like, a peace gift, a peace offering? You probably should. She'd probably love it. And that might make her.

Green Cheetah, I bought you this smokable USB stick. Unlockable. She just takes it and tries to smoke it Then like dissipates with the jewel into thin air Yeah she was never real It was always the darkness inside me Oh shit The green cheetah is just a figment Of your imagination that's overtaken

Our reality But didn't you see her once Yes but I also have insight into your imagination Are you saying that I manifest my dreams to your reality Yes but I also have insight into your imagination. Are you saying that I manifest my dreams to your reality? Yes, but then it also... Wow, what a leap. All right, sure.

It also goes into other people's realities, but not as strongly. Oh, right, right, right. So I'm like a wish master kind of situation. Like the elevator woman obviously could see the green cheetah, but that was like they don't see each other very long. Maybe the elevator woman obviously could see the green cheetah, but that was like, they don't see each other very long. Maybe the elevator woman wasn't even real. Oh, shit. I could have just imagined her.

It's possible. Oh, my God. It's all adding up now. I feel bad because she seemed like she was having a rough day. I feel bad for having imagined a person in that situation. Could that be because you're having a rough day? Oh, my God. You're in my head.

Get out. Get out of there. I bet you weren't even wearing pants. Oh, get out of my head. Get out of my head. It all comes full circle. Yep. Yep.

That's all I got. Well, speaking of not wearing pants Let me tell you about MeUndies It's almost the holiday season We're so very close And this year you can finally tackle That shopping and gift buying early And guess what?

You can do everything you need to do Right on MeUndies Not joking You might be saying Underwear, socks, wonderful fabric sweats Why that's no gift You're wrong MeUndies. Not joking. You might be saying, underwear? Socks? Wonderful fabric sweats? Why, that's no gift. You're wrong. It's the best gift you can give. Frankly,

people will thank you for it. All those other gifts? Garbage compared to MeUndies. Because they use a coveted micromodal fabric that is three times softer than cotton. We keep telling you this all the time. And you listen to us.

It's crazy, but you do, and you love it too. It is pure bliss in underwear form. Whether you're a Crandor or a Jessie, you get the style that is right for you. Four different cuts. You can get some boxers or boxer briefs or briefs or whatever. There are classic colors and some more fun colors and then crazy adventurous prints like the ones I like. I'm wearing gray right now. Right now, you can get some prints of a holiday variety. MeUndies has a new print releasing every Tuesday up until Christmas.

Why stop with just MeUndies though? This year they have holiday prints in lounge pants and onesies. Everything's made from the same mega micromodal fabric. It feels amazing. How can you not get your loved ones some MeUndies? Let me tell you, let me tell you the other day I was on a stream and some dude was like, yo, should I get MeUndies. Let me tell you, let me tell you the other day, I was on a stream and some dude was like, yo, should I get MeUndies? And I was like, bro, they don't even pay me to tell you this right now. Do it. It'll change your reality. And I'm gonna let you know. I'm gonna give it a week. I'm gonna see a tweet from

this guy that's like, Jesse, you were right. My butt has never felt so good. It's a fact! I can't even stress this enough. You never have to buy underwear again, because you just get them through MeUndies. You will only go to MeUndies. Once you get these, you'll be like, oh my God. And this dude was like, dude, I'm a big man like you.

How do they fit? They fit great. MeUndies are incredible. You know, and here's the best part. If you order from MeUndies right now, if you're a first time purchaser, when you go to MeUndies, you get 15% off and free shipping. And here's the best part. It's 100% satisfaction guaranteed.

So if you're like, I don't like these, which you won't, because let's be real, you're about to love them. Even if you don't, you can send them back, get all your money back, and you don't have to worry. And you can be like, well, Jesse lied to us, but I didn't. Because there's no lie here. This is going to make your life, not day, life better. So you're going to want to head over to meundies.com slash Crendor. That's meundies.com

slash Crendor. M-E-U-N D-I-E-S dot com slash Crendor. That's me again. Speaking of putting things on your body, Christmas time is coming down the pipeline, and one of the wacky traditions that we've come up with as a society, especially if you're a cool dude like me, it's ugly Christmas sweaters.

People love to... people try to get the ugliest one they can find, and let me tell you, there are some ugly ones. And most of them can be found on Tipsy Elves. Tipsy Elves has hilariously reimagined irreverent designs. Essentially, you're going to be the talk of every party you go to. They've got incredibly high quality and crazy comfortable sweaters. These things are, it ranges from everything from being very, very tacky to outrageous. Just things that would probably make your grandmother be like, oh, my. I got a sweater with a cat on it.

I got a, because I live in L.A., I got a Hawaiian shirt with Santas. Oh. I know. So you don't even have to get sweaters. They have all sorts of different things you can get. They have Christmas suits, if you're a very classy kind of guy. They have interactive sweaters. We can play, like, beer pong of guy. They have interactive sweaters. We can play, like, beer pong on them.

They have themed sweaters. They have dresses. They have leggings as well and tees that if you are like me and you live someplace where it's hot, they have all sorts of things. And it isn't just Christmas too. They have all sorts of different holidays you can go and buy specific shirts for. Everyone's got to have that green shirt for St. Paddy's Day, let's be real. So, go check out Tipsy Elves.

You won't find more hilariously awesome designs and shirts and just ridiculous things anywhere else. So before it's too late to get that outfit that you have all planned for the Christmas party or office holiday party or whatever the case may be, right now, you can get 20% off at tipsyelves.com when you use the code COX, C-O-X, to check out. That's 20% off anything on the site. Tipsyelves.com. Enter code COX to check out for 20% off. Use that code. Everyone is going to be like, oh, my God, that's the funniest sweater.

Where did you get that? And then you can just say, Cox and Crandor told me where to go. Listen, you can get your discount too. TipsyOffice.com. Use the code Cox. Use that code. Use that code. Use that code. Alright, Crandor, let's go to Travis Carver. Travis Carver, Crandor, how's the traffic out there?

I'm up in the sky right now and I'm flying around and it is crazy out there. There's snow. There's rain. There's backed up traffic all the way across America into the ocean, across the ocean into Europe, across Europe into Asia, across Russia, backed up into the other side of the world. It's just nonstop traffic out there for miles. I hope somebody's going to get to work on time

because I don't think they are. Thanks, Crandor. Now let's go over to Crandor at the weather desk. How's that weather? Weather is looking I don't know. Let's put in a thing and find out. Weather is existing.

3, 4, 9, 2, 1. How about 6? How about 8? Existing. Three, four, nine, two, one. How about six? How about eight? How about eight, four? Port St. Lucie. Nice. Okay.

Okay. That's in Florida. Yup. Port St. Lucie, Florida. 75 degrees. Clear. Feels like. 75 degrees. High. Blank, Florida, 75 degrees. Clear, feels like, 75 degrees.

High, blank. Low, 69 degrees. Tonight, 69 degrees. A few passing clouds. Winds, light and variable. Monday, hey, you got a high of 87 out there. Maybe good to wear the shorts, wear a short-sleeved shirt. Yeah, there probably would be

decent humidity up at 94%, so you gotta make sure you take care of it. It's gonna wear you down, you know what I'm saying? Monday night, though, 69 degrees again. It's just a constant theme of 69 degrees at nighttime in Florida. You would think it's kind of suspicious, like the government's controlling

the weather. They might be controlling it 79 degrees on tuesday though thunderstorms don't do that don't do that there's gonna be one person that's like he's right i know what don't do that write him a letter don't do it uh hey thunderstorm 79 degrees eight degrees tuesday night you got rain. It's Florida. It's just humid and hot pretty much all the time. That's Florida. That's the Sports St. Lucie.

Back to you. All right, Crandor. What is going on in sports? Sports. Big news in the sports front today. The Packers have fired Mike McCarthy, head coach of of the last 13 years after an awful game i watched today uh finally he's gone probably should have been fired a year ago but hey better late than never and uh thank god we get to move on from him uh and right now it looks like pittsburgh's beating

the los angeles chargers 13-7 we'll see if that holds up. Thank God. Yeah, we'll see. Dallas beat New Orleans on Thursday. Baltimore beat Atlanta. Denver beat Cincinnati. The Rams beat Detroit. Miami beat Buffalo, which was actually kind of sad. I was watching that, and Buffalo had a chance to win the game

or at least take the lead with like 30 seconds left, and the guy dropped a wide-open pass in the end end zone for buffalo so that was kind of interesting to watch giants beat the bears even though bears didn't have their quarterback tampa bay beat carolina jacksonville shut out it did apples houston beat the cleveland browns tennessee beat the jets can city beat oakland new england beat minnesota and seattle beat san francisco uh and uh big football news nba there's basketball New England beat Minnesota and Seattle beat San Francisco. And there's big football news. NBA. There's basketball.

Hockey. There's hockey going on. Baseball. People are signing people to contracts and stuff. That's mainly the sports. All right. What is our big news story of the day? All right.

Big news story of the day. This is one that a lot of people sent to us. Oh, boy. Uh-huh. Florida woman pulls knife on man who confronted her about farting. All right. I know where this is going. Okay.

All right. Waiting in line at a store can be unpleasant enough without the person in front of you passing gas. So when John Walker found himself in that situation Sunday at a Florida Dollar General, he spoke up. Unfortunately, the loud farting was about to become the least of his worries. The Broward County Sheriff's Office told the Miami Herald. Oh, Broward County. All right, yeah. That Walker got into an argument with 37-year-old Shanetta Yvette Wilson,

which led to her pulling out a knife and threatening to gut him. Deputies said Wilson cocked the blade back in her right hand as if she was about to strike Walker. Fortunately, the incident did not end in violence. Law enforcement was alerted and they found Wilson in the area.

Walker identified her to investigators and she was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill. So she had the knife on her? Yeah. Has this happened to her before you think she was just like, stop giving me shit about my farts? It had to. I guarantee. I think so too. Yeah. I think so, too. Yeah, I think so, too. Authorities took her to the Paul Ryan Detention Facility in Pompano Beach, where her bail

was set at $2,500. And that's all the story. They don't have any quotes for anybody. Come on. Where's the quotes? There's got to be some quotes, right? Yeah, I don't. I'm trying to look for them, and I got nothing.

We have nothing on this. Yeah, there's nothing. Let's see. John Walker, dispute in reference to the defendant farting loudly. Now, Wilson. Yeah, there's, like, no good quotes. You would think they'd, like, like interview him and they'd be like well she just wouldn't stop farting i had to say something yeah i don't i i mean i don't know

anything about this story really yeah like maybe it'll develop more as the uh the days and weeks go on but as of right now, we really don't know much aside from the fact that it happened at a Dollar General. So not the best of places to go to to confront somebody. Well, that is a good story for Florida. Right.

BuzzFeed has compiled the 40 most inthane the 40 most inthane things that have happened in Florida in 2018. Most of these we've covered. This is great. Oh. Number one, Florida men, one disguised as a bull, allegedly tried to burn down ex-boyfriend's home with spaghetti sauce.

Yeah, I remember that. That's an animated. Yep. Titusville grandmother pops out teeth to scare off nude man on back porch. We cover that one. I don't remember that one. I don't remember that. That's a good one.

That's a good one. We need to remember that. Miami man with no arms charged with stabbing Chicago tourists. We covered that one. Yeah, we got that one. A drunk Florida woman was asked to leave a red lobster, so she responded by allegedly grabbing a live lobster straight out of the tank and bolting. Oh, shit. We didn't get that one.

Jason Vickery breaks into home, plays with toy helicopter, masturbates, cop says. Florida man calling himself the Beast gouges eyes of armed intruder. Oh, my God. Gouges eyes of armed intruder. Oh, my God. Naked man chases two around Chick-fil-A parking lot. Tells deputies, look at my penis, look at my ass. Yep, there's a video.

A woman named Crystal Methvin. We covered that one. Largo couple steals motorized shopping cart from Walmart. Drives to bar. We covered that one. We got couple steals motorized shopping cart from Walmart drives to bar. We covered that one. We got like half these at least. Yeah, man. Boy gets stuck in arcade claw machine.

I don't know that we did that, but we should have. Yeah, I don't think we did that one. Florida deputy hurls bush bean cans to subdue suspects. Nice. Bush, bush, baked beans. Baked beans. Yeah, Bush Bush baked beans. Baked beans. Yeah, these are just some don't microwave your pee. We did that one. Yeah, I remember. Yeah, we've really covered it. We've really covered Florida.

Huh. That's I feel like we're probably one of the best Florida news coverages you could get. But we did miss this one. Alright. Man rips urinal off pub's wall then runs wet and naked into the woods to escape.

We missed a good one. How did we miss it? How did we miss that one? We need to up our game a bit, but we're on the right path. Florida woman high on meth ran around naked and apart because she believed a giant spider was on her we're missing out there's some we've missed

yeah there's some good ones in there okay thank you so much for listening or watching or however you're enjoying this fine fine podcast and we'll be back with some more soon but first Crandor hit em with the socials socials we got

soundcloud.com slash cox and Crandor we got youtube.com slash cox and Crandor, hit him with the socials. Socials. We got SoundCloud.com slash Cox and Crendor. We got YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor. That is for the animations. If you'd like to listen to the podcast on YouTube, we have YouTube.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast. All one word. Also, you could watch our other things. There's YouTube.com slash Jesse Cox. He's almost to a million subs.

There's YouTube.com slash Wow Crendor. I make things there sometimes. I mainly stream on Twitch. Twitch.tv slash Crendor. There's Twitch.com slash wildcreddor. I make things there sometimes. I mainly stream on twitch.tv slash creddor. There's twitch.tv slash jessicox. There's twitter.com slash jessicox. Twitter.com slash creddor. Just Google us and you'll probably find more stuff. Thumbs up.

Like, share, favorite. Smash like button. Turn the bell on. Ding, ding, ding. That's it. bell on ding ding ding that's it. Alright well that's it for us thank you so much for watching and as always ding ding to be continued.