Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 176 - Crenlosophy 101

Episode Date: December 17, 2018

This week the boys take a hard right hand turn on the road to comedy and somehow end up talking history and philosophy?! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN!? Also we learn a little bit more about Jesse's home town AND discover that 2018 may not be such a terrible year for one sports team! All this and more on this exciting episode of Cox n' Crendor! -Get a trial month of Hims for $5 at http://forhims.com/coxED -Get 15% off your first pair of MeUndies plus free shipping at http://meundies.com/crendor -Get your first refill pack free at http://getquip.com/crendor

Today's episode is brought to you by Quip. It's a toothbrush that will change the way you brush your teeth. It's the perfect gift for this holiday season and we're going to talk about that. Also, today we're brought to you by me, Undies. Yo, they is Undies. I wears them and we love to talk about them. So we're going to do that as well. And because we're coming up on the time to buy gifts for people,

give someone the greatest gift of all. Hims. That's right. Your wiener. That's what we're talking about. Give them the greatest gift of all. Your wiener. A fully armed and operational wiener. That's right. We're going to talk about that too. Let's jump into this podcast. Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trending. Ghost on Trending in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In four-hour recording studios.

Recording. Wake your ass up. It's Ghost on Trending in the morning. Hello, everybody. Wake your ass up, it's the Cox and Crandall in the morning! Cox and Crandall in the morning! Hello everybody, welcome back to another exciting episode of Cox and Crandall in the morning! Uh, hey. Hi, hello. You sound a little hesitant. Are you, you doing okay? Well, I was gonna do my typical, like, wacky one, but then I was just like, uh, whatever.

Yeah, you decided to go for non-wacky which thus made it just as wacky exactly sometimes you gotta yeah you gotta throw some different things in the pot you know i'm saying yeah yeah so you're making like a intro stew and today you threw in potatoes before you've thrown in crazy things, right? But today was just potatoes. Before I made gumbo, this time I made like a beef stew. I think you made like a potato and leek. Really, really simple. Very cream-based broth is what you've created. I can't have too much cream-based or I'm just going to mess up my stomach. You're right. You're right. How foolish of me. Yeah, I can't do that one. So how's it going?

What's going on with you? Well, I was just realizing how crazy it is because we're like, what is this, like a week away from Christmas? Maybe like a little over a week. It's like eight, nine days. I just looked up my calendar and I just want to point out that the calendar that I see on my screen says, what did I do? It says 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 26, 26. I don't know. Sorry, Jesus.

Not this year. Just skip right over. I had a double take. It's like we celebrated 26 26th twice in this office. No, thank you. Why is that there? I didn't make it. I didn't make this schedule.

I'm just letting you know it says the 26th twice, and that's hilarious. It's pretty funny, honestly. It's pretty funny. It's one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my life, to be honest. Thank you. Completely, honestly, truly. I hate when people say that there's like dude bro like honestly though like honestly bro honestly from like the bottom of my heart like truly like what I really mean is that like I that's cool like the only thing I get out of that is every time someone says that there's only two outcomes one you've lied to me every other time you've ever talked to me right or two you're lying right now and this is how you lie yeah there is no like yeah yeah

i've always been honest with you and i tell you the truth all the time but this time i'm really letting you know that i'm telling you the truth i want to hammer it home this time it's very important no i don't believe it one hammer at home good one. Hammer it home. I want to hammer it home. It's like when people use filler words on essays or papers. It's like so common. And so I believe that what I'm trying to say here is that. You forgot. So in conclusion. In conclusion, all in all, overall, what I believe to be true is that these things that I have written on this piece of paper are in fact actually true.

As you can see from the above. And now I have done what I set out to do, which was achieve writing this paper and the word limit, which I have now reached after typing this last word. Now to compare and contrast my thoughts with my thoughts at the beginning of this paper. my thoughts with my thoughts at the beginning of this paper I now believe fundamentally different things than I did at the beginning which you can read about if you go back to the beginning of this paper

and that is why personally from the bottom of my heart honestly I believe that I should be working for your company thank you whoa that was your application for a job listen that's the problem is that school teaches you how to do that because they're like write these like write this paper and it has to

be 500 words so it teaches you to fill the paper with words because nobody's gonna like actually try so then you go into real life writing like that because that's all you know and then you just get a bunch of job applications like that And everyone's like, what's wrong with these? I used to write papers Not only for a living But when I was in Grad school, I would write papers all the time I would never, you didn't do tests in grad school You never took tests anymore

And I was always a good paper writer I could even BS a paper last minute Get out 500 words I could do a 16 page essay easy I haven't written An essay in 10 years, we'll say Last minute, get out 500 words. I could do a 16-page essay easy. I haven't written an essay in 10 years, we'll say. I don't know. It's been at least over a decade.

And I will simply say the last thing I wrote was for my graduate thesis. It was many pages, over 30. It was like a book. I will never write again. You couldn't get me to write if i had to write to save your life i would sadly attend your funeral but i couldn't save them writing's fun as long as you're writing something you're having fun with like if you're like i want to write a fantasy story you're like i want to write a book or i want to do this or whatever like okay but it's when somebody's like write a thing on this thing and you're like i don't want to write about that or I want to do this or whatever. Like, okay. But it's when somebody's like, write a thing on this thing. And you're like, I don't want to write about that. But you got to do it.

Then it's a chore. But that's what college was like. College was always fun that way because it was you would always take, well, eventually. Let me correct that. In the beginning, you have to take all your classes they make you take. Like, God take at least one or science. Right? But eventually, you'd take classes that were the classes you wanted to take, and those were always fun for me.

I could write a 12,000-page essay on Alexander the Great or whatever because I love that guy. I'm like, oh, man, he lived such a crazy life. I could write about how crazy that was. I got a question. Yes. What made Alexander the Great so great? He conquered the known world. Like, how much

of the world? Well, originally he was, first off, this is my favorite part, he was a Macedonian who just like thought it'd be cool. I know there's a lot more to it, but this is the Jesse version. He basically thought it'd be cool to just say he was Greek

because being Greek was in the fashion. And then because he also thought it'd be cool, he said that he was descendant of Zeus and Hercules. Why? Because. And then he went around and just conquered Greece.

And then he went to Egypt, conquered Egypt. And then he left one of his generals, Ptolemy, there. And here's the crazy thing. Most of the Egyptians that we think of as Egyptians are not Egyptians. They are the ancestors of Ptolemy, who was a Greek. So, like, Cleopatra, pretty much barely Egyptian. And so he took over Egypt, and then one of his most famous things is that he went around looking for Achilles armor because he just

loved the idea that this dude wore gold armor and so he was going to wear gold armor too. And so he would just run out into battle in shining gold armor that would glint in the sun and literally every enemy knew where he was and all of his generals were like do not do that dude. And he's like I look good though. And so he'd run out into battle

and fight that way. I think probably the most famous story is the Gordian Knot, in which there was a legend about a knot that was untieable, and he just walked up and sliced it with his sword and was like, yeah, it's untied now. Like, the man led a crazy-ass life. Then he went to India, at least as far as India. No one knows truly how far he went. But, yeah, like most of the known world, he just conquered it, went to India, at least as far as India. No one knows truly how far he went. Yeah.

But, yeah, like most of the known world, he just conquered it. And that's – it's crazy. He eventually died of either, A, poisoning, no one really knows. B, he got, like, the flu or something. Or he, like – I don't know. He just died of sickness. So the dude could not be killed in battle, but a virus got him or germs getting everybody yeah man he just he's a fascinating character like his teacher was aristotle aristotle alexander hold on alexander the great yeah look about alexander the great

323 bc yeah man that's what i'm saying. He conquered literally what everyone knew about. When was Genghis Khan? Genghis Khan was the 13th century. Yeah, 1227. Dang. That's way longer. So, yeah. I mean, the basic flow of history at that time was like the East would push against the West. The West would push against the East.

And in the middle was Greece. Like Greece was sort of this bulwark against the East. So like the Persian Empire would constantly come into – that's kind of the 300 idea, right? The movie 300 where like Xerxes and his boys would roll up and the Greeks would be like, and then they'd fight a bunch. Where like Xerxes and his boys would roll up and the Greeks would be like, and then they'd fight a bunch. And then that's why there was a sort of line there of where Greece and sort of Turkey and the whole area would be. Dude, history's crazy. It is.

Yeah. And what's even crazier is that so when Greece and Turkey would sort of like butt heads with each other, or I guess, I don't know if it was called Turkey back then. It'd be probably just Persia. But when, you know, East and West would bump heads every so often, eventually when Rome took over, right, and Rome became even bigger than anyone had ever seen before, what's really funny is that so if you look at Istanbul on the map between Turkey and, I think it's now Bulgaria, I think is where it's at. But it's like Istanbul is between those, and originally it was Constantinople. And so, like, Rome grew so big, they had to split the empire into an East and West empire. And so the Eastern Roman Empire was in Constantinople and the West was in Rome. And then Rome was sacked by, like, barbarian hordes.

And so Constantinople became the main Roman Empire. Oh, whoa. Roman Empire wasn't even the Roman Empire. Shit, dude. If I butchered anything, I'm sorry. I wasn't, like, I feel bad because I'm second-guessing myself because I know there's going to be someone out there who's like, actually, Jesse, you're incorrect.

This is one of those things that is... I specialize in 340 B.C. history. Yeah, I'm waiting for someone to be like, you're wrong. This is something you're wrong about. I'm waiting for it. I just don't know where it's going to come from. I clearly messed up something.

We'll find out. Yeah, somebody will figure it out. Yeah. It's kind of like how Christmas and all those things are based off the pagan holidays or the solstice. That's like the winter solstice. That's the whole idea of Christmas being in December. They were like, well, we don't know when Jesus was really born. But the pagans, they celebrate this crazy ass holiday in December.

So like, what if we co-opt it and make it about Jesus? And that's what they did. So really, Christmas isn't like the story of like Christmas and Jesus being born. I'm pretty sure Jesus was not born December 25th. Just fact. I'm pretty sure that's not true. Yeah. sure Jesus was not born December 25th. Just fact. I'm pretty sure that's not true. But the idea of... So technically Christmas is more about the celebration

of the birth rather than his birthday, if that makes any sense. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm no religious studies scholar, but I mean, I know that much that it's... Yeah, it's a winter solstice. and they were just like,

hey, I mean, that's why there's the tree. It's just like, um, Easter, right? Easter is oh, it's about a resurrection, but what do bunnies have to, you know, like that kind of stuff, right? Like, what does a bunny have to do with it? Same with, what does a pine tree have to do with a baby being born, right? In the desert.

Like, what is, and so, it's just because Christianity grew so big under the Roman Empire, they were like, well, we got to make these barbarians believe in what we believe in. So, like, co-opt some of their shit, bring it in,

and now we're all on the same page. And that's kind of what they did. And a thousand years later, we're still like, it makes perfect sense to me. Jesus pushed that boulder aside and was like, here's some rabbits. And then the rabbits were banging, symbolizing

fertility. Right. Of course. It has nothing to do with fertility. This isn't about like fertility festivals or whatever. It's about Jesus. Yeah. Damn. You're learning a lot today on the Cox and Crandall history cast. This is. This is the knowledge cast

today. Let's see. What else is there with the learning? What else is there learning? I tweeted yesterday where I was like, did you know that we're just a brain in a head? I saw. I know. I'm aware.

All right. Let me clarify that statement. Yeah. So, like, your brain is like your consciousness, right? So, like, without, but the thing is, like, you could still, like, be you, but you wouldn't even be conscious of it. That's what was freaking me out. Where it's, like, for example, like, right before my surgery, where I remembered none of that, but I was still, like, talking and moving and stuff. None of that but I was still Like talking and moving and stuff and I'm like

Shit dude that's so creepy to think About like that you're Just being you but you don't know that You're you but you're still being you Well that's where The idea of like people discovering Where the consciousness comes from that's where people Obsessed with for as long as

Alexander the Great right People have been curious where the That's sort of the idea of the soul, right? Because a body can do body things without you knowing it. You can be sleeping next to a person, for example, and they like poke you or do something or they might talk or say something. But the next day you're like, last night you were saying something weird? And they don't remember any of it. Yeah.

Because it's the idea of, being consciously awake and understanding. And so that's sort of where the idea of the soul comes from, where everyone's like, well, you know, there's something deeper inside of you. Because they've made brains do stuff just with electrodes. It's one of those things where I don't know anyone knows. Yeah. And I think, I mean, I'm sure, again, there's going to be someone who's like, well, Jesse, scientists have discovered. But, I mean, like, that's's gonna be Someone who's like Well Jesse Scientists have discovered But I mean like That's like the great mystery dude

That's why it's so cool That's the philosophy man That's the Aristotle You're in it You went in deep You went in deep Damn right You went in deep

Oh my god I'm gonna look up Aristotle quotes And see if I can blow your mind What would my Philosopher name be Crandorstottle Not Crandorstottle You'd be Aristotle quotes and see if I can blow your mind. What would my philosopher name be? Crandor Stottle.

Not Crandor Stottle. You'd be... You would be... You can't do Crandor with Plato. Crandor. You can't do Crandor with Socrates. You could be Rene Descartes. You you could be like Crené Descartes. Emmanuel Crenn. You could be like, I don't know. It's hard. It's hard. You're hard to deal with. I'm going to give you some Aristotle quotes and try to blow your mind here. Are

you ready? Okay, I'm ready. All right. I want to hear your thoughts on these quotes. Okay. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. Yeah, because we're like habitual creatures. So every day, you get up, you go make your breakfast,

you get in your car, you put on this podcast, you drive into your work, you do the same thing, you have your routine, you get home, blah, blah into your work you do the same thing you have your routine you get home blah blah and then occasionally on the weekends you do something else but typically even the weekends are routine so when you mix up that routine and like make yourself better you're in you're in essence making your entire life better and into a habit i mean yeah i guess yeah sure i i was on that. I don't know if I followed it, but I was on the train. Yes. I was on that train of thought.

Yeah. Hop on. All right. I got another one for you. All right. This one you should know. Okay. The whole is more than the sum of its parts.

Yes. That. Yeah. Yes. Exactly. Okay. Now, what I think is the thing it's like h w h o l e right yes because when i think of it the first thought that came to mind was like a donut hole so like the donut is more

than the sum of its parts which means the whole donut is more than just a hole in the donut you might look at that and be like where's the rest of my food but really that donut is more than just a hole in the donut. You might look at that and be like, where's the rest of my food? But really, that donut is more than just a food. Go on. It's a lifestyle. Okay, okay, I'm in. All right, what about this one? All right.

The end of labor is to gain leisure. Yes. Oh, my God. That's like my entire existence go on explain this to me so it's pretty much just saying you work so you can relax so it's like yeah you do your work because you know you don't want to be stressed out you want to have like a place to live you want food you want all that stuff and you know you want to you want To go on the internet you want to play Your games you want to chill out listen To your asmr and then so you'd work to

Have the leisure yeah it's like a fourth Century bc work hard play hard yeah it's Probably before that i feel it yeah Before work hard play hard yeah okay um What oh i like this it is the mark of of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. Uh, oh, yeah, that's no doubt. Now, let me tell you why. Why? Why? You tell me why.

Because you can't criticize something, at least well, unless you know about that thing. So, like, for example, a lot of people might be like, League of Legends sucks ass. But, if you play League of Legends for a while, and you learn about it, and then you're like, alright, League of Legends sucks ass. I'll be like, alright, you know, you played it, you learned about it. But if you're just like some random person just being like, I've seen that game, it looks dumb, I hate it. You don't actually know anything about it but if you're just like some random person just being like i've seen that game it looks dumb i hate it you don't actually know anything about it you're just giving some emotional response based on some little basic knowledge you have the game from like watching youtube clips of kda i mean that's all i know really i just put that video on on repeat i do that yeah so that's the that's all you just gotta be educated about all the different things or you can just be like that's dumb it's kind of funny that way but it's

okay yeah okay uh what about um educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all. I mean, I guess kind of. But like, this is the one that you're like, I don't buy it. Well, this is the one. I mean, if you educate your mind, all right, and you don't educate your heart, I mean, it depends how much fun educating your mind, like how much fun you're having educating your mind Your heart might be content from the education Well that's what I'm saying

That's the whole point So like the idea of If you hit a point where you're just learning stuff To learn it and you're not like Enjoying the process of learning Either the process sucks Or what you're learning sucks Yeah

I get that. One more for you. All right. Hit me. I don't know that I can attribute this one to Aristotle, but they say online it's Aristotle, so I'm going to just assume it is. Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing. No. Go on.

I thought that one you were going to be like, damn right, damn right. No, all right, hit me. All right, so you're still going to get criticized no matter what you do, especially in the modern world. You'd be like, I'm doing nothing, being nothing. You're just sitting in your parents' basement. You're absolutely right. People are going to be like, you know i'm doing nothing being nothing you're just sitting in your parents basement you're absolutely right you're gonna be like nobody waste of space you're absolutely right i'm saying they're still gonna criticize some guy on twitter

will be like fucking idiot living in your mama's basement there's always gonna be somebody criticizing you you're absolutely right so, that's a wrong quote. That's a terrible quote. You're absolutely right. That's the kind of quote someone who's really famous would say to themselves on Twitter. It is. People be hating me. What Aristotle said.

And then, yeah, that's to make themselves feel better. But you just roasted it. You took that quote and destroyed it. You might be the modern aristotle shit dude i never even thought of it that way have you seen your tweets you might we need to just make a book and have someone make like a stone bust of you and then we'll just take a photo of it and put on the book and be like the modern aristotle thoughts with crendor i like that i think it's a good one i do, I do too. I like that too.

Here's a couple other ones. I'm going to tell you, and you give me your interpretation. Oh, are these Crandorisms? Yeah, these are Plato's. Wise men talk because they have something to say. Fools because they have to say something. Yeah, it's called the Jesse Doctrine, in which I talk very often, not knowing what the hell I'm saying.

If you listen to this podcast, you're very aware that two of us, this is pretty much the entire point of Cox and Grendor. Fools just talking. Fools just talking to talk. Yeah, yeah, I get that. He's right. Oh, shit. What about this one? Man, a being in search of meaning yeah that's called

the youtube complex every youtuber is just someone in search for meaning yeah i get it i get that completely too all right all right i got one more i got one more here uh the beginning is the most important part of the work um i get what he's trying to say i get he's trying to say how you start a thing determines the rest of it right like the planning the preparation the actual like doing it and i get it but have you ever been like halfway through a thing and you're just like, oh, what, I do this. I feel like that's the most important part. Yeah, making it over that hump.

Yeah, I feel like the hump is the most important part. That's a good add-on. I think that's a good amendum. Amendum. Amendum. Amendum. Amendum. Except when you're up at 5 a.m. finishing a damn thing.

Play-Doh. 2018. Damn. Well, this was a good philosophy hour. Yeah, we really like got into it today. Plato. 2018. Damn. Well, this was a good philosophy hour. Yeah, we really got into it today. Yeah. Now we're going to talk about Wieners. I feel like this is good.

That's a good transition. Real good transition because, hey guys, if you're listening and you're thinking to yourself, man, philosophy's sexy. And it is. It is. But you're having some issues. It happens. It happens.

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I mean, like, this is a good deal. And you get it if you go to getquip.com slash Crendor. Hey, get a quip with me. Crendor quip. Yep. You know what? Nailed it. Really did.

All right. Let's go. Good job. You got something to say go Crendor, Crendor, is that traffic out there? Oh, we got traffic And I know about traffic Because I'm looking at it It is out there, it is Getting busy, people are starting to travel They are beginning the great Migration of the Christmas

Festival Traveling traveling it's getting crazy folks there's cars there's planes there's trains there's boats there's goats there's everything you can imagine out there wandering around as we close in on the holiday season and then before you know it it'll be over and we're into january and it's the new year but it's cold and everyone just waits for spring and they're like oh my god when's spring Gonna get here but it doesn't and it Slowly gets lighter every day because right now it's Dark every day and you're like oh my god dark at like

4 p.m. what is this and then Eventually you're like hey now the clock Spring forward and then everything heats up Again and you're like oh yeah So that's the traffic Thanks Crandor I know you said Into January but it Sounded like you said in pajamuary, which sounds like a great month.

It does. Pajamuary. Pajamuary sounds great. Every day. Don't even bother getting dressed. Roll out of bed. Do what you got to do. Roll back into bed.

Pajamuary. MeUndies should do that. Start a pajamuary. A new pajama every day Me undies Call us We are basically The best idea people

In the business We really are We really are Let it be known That we've come up With some things That later turned out To be real

We're deep thinkers Let's just Real deep thinkers We just did an entire podcast About deep thinkers And we thought Better thoughts than they did Yep

Think about that Think about it Think about it about that. Think about it. Think about it. Think about it. Think about it. Think about it. Think about it. Where are we?

That's a great question. Where are we, man? Where are any of us? Whoa. We are at weather. How's the weather? Weather. Seven, eight, four, two 2, 1 No zip code for that

How about 3, 4, 5, 2, 3 Nothing for that How about 6, 6, 4, 2, 3 Eskridge Kansas Kansas People live in Whoa, hold on There are towns in Kansas? Es? People live in... Whoa, hold on.

There are towns in Kansas? Eskridge, Kansas. Let's see what we got here today. It's going to be 41... Well, tonight, 41. Monday, 55 degrees. That's pretty warm for Kansas. It's not bad.

Yeah. Sunny. Then Tuesday, 54. Wednesday, 52. It's a little colder out there. But, hey, on Christmas, it's probably going to rain. That's kind of weird. So, I mean, we're getting the – we're not getting snow, but we're getting rain.

It's the warming of the globe. As a weatherman, I obviously know about these things. Obviously. And a lot of weather happening out there. Back to you. Thanks, Crandor. Now let's go to sports sports. Hey, what up?

Welcome to the sports desk today. We've got sports happening. Crazy stuff right now in the NFL is the playoffs close in on everybody in the NFL. The Pittsburgh Steelers beat the Patriots. Mamma mia. 17-10. I know. Can I tell you something? I had a conversation with my dad. So I was driving out to go grocery

shopping this morning and my dad was sort of like running on the side of the road and I saw him and I was like, hey you! And he faked like he was having a heart attack. It was very funny. And then he was like, oh you got me! And then he faked like he was having a heart attack. It was very funny. And then he was like, oh, you got me. And then he came over and he was wearing a Steelers hat. And we started talking about it.

And I was like, man, the Steelers, I don't know if they're going to do it. And he's like, you got to think positive thoughts. I'm like, no, no. The minute you start believing the Steelers, that's when they lose. Every time. Every time you believe in them, they lose. I was like, today, negative thoughts. And they won! You just, as a Steelers fan, you just have them, they lose. I was like, today, negative thoughts. And they won!

You just, as a Steelers fan, you just have to believe they suck. And as a Steelers fan, you just have to believe it, and they'll still stay number one. You just have to... A good Steelers fan was like, you guys sucked out there today. And they'll be like, yeah, we're going to win next time. It'll be great. Just do it.

Believe in me. Believe that you don't believe uh atlanta beat arizona 40 14 mama mia baltimore beat tampa bay buffalo beat detroit the bears beat the packers the bengals beat the raiders the colts shut out the cowboys jacksonville lost to washington minnesota destroyed miami the jets got shut out by the Titans. And, guys, the Cleveland Browns win again. How? How? They win again against the Denver Broncos.

The Cleveland Browns are no longer in last place. This is their year, guys. They are 6-7-1. If they win their next two games, they're above 500. That's a winning season. That's a winning season. That is... They've won more games this season than they have in how many years?

At this point, I think three years. That's crazy. Cleveland Browns. Let's see. Here's just a heads up, just so we're all aware. Right. The next game is versus the Bengals. Yeah.

They can beat the Bengals. They can beat the Bengals. Yeah. And the game after that is versus the Ravens. And the Ravens are just bootleg Browns anyway. They can beat the Ravens. They can do it. They can take this thing all the way.

This could be huge. They could end 2018. I'm going to say one of the worst years in the history of years. On a positive note. Yeah. In the last three years combined, they've won four games. And this year, they've won six. In fact, the last five games,

they've won four of them. That's insane. How do you even truly even appreciate how amazing this is? Can I just say, for the record, just to put this out there, the fact that they have the record that they do have being 6-7-1, the one comes from the fact that they somehow tied the Steelers. Oh, yeah, that's right. Let us all remember this. Let us all remember in football they tied with the Steelers.

Just putting it out there. Yep, that did occur. They could have been technically 7-7 right now. Yeah, they very well could have. And then they'd probably be going for the division. technically 7-7 right now. Yeah, they very well could have. And then they'd probably be going for the division. It'd be a game back. Yeah, I was about to say, what is the divisional standings right now?

Wow! Yeah, all right, come on. Come on. The Steelers do not play the Browns anymore the rest of the year. Yeah. But the Browns play the Ravens and the Bengals, and if they beat both of them, dude, I think that puts them in second place in the AFC North.

They have a possible chance to make a wild card, I think. That would be, if the Browns were a wild card, they would be the wildest wild card. That would be the wildest. I imagine the city of Cleveland would burn to the ground With how hot it would be there People would be like It would be like Raiders fans Except you know Not crazy

Yeah Raiders They're also bad they're 3-11 But they're tanking for Vegas That's okay I'm going to say the AFC North is really competitive And not terrible Because I love how the AFC West Chiefs are 11-3, Chargers are 11-3

Patriots 9-5 Texans 10-4 Rams 11-2, Saints 11-2 Meanwhile Steelers Winning their division 8-5-1 Yeah that's Oh boy

It's really competitive though it's just very competitive uh that's sports all right what's our big news story of the day before i get to that i wanted to bring up the uh yelp review you tweeted yes from jim who said just ridiculously good burgers and fries seriously i'm a fat guy from Chicago so I'm not messing around when it comes to burgers and fries I gotta say this this place is the shit oh and the beer's on tap that's all I can read yeah I mean that's pretty much I so I woke up uh yesterday and I moved so those who are wondering i moved apartments uh not very far i literally moved like same building just a different apartment don't ask me why right but

uh i spent all day moving my body hurt like hell and i just wanted a greasy gross burger and fries and like a root beer like float yeah i want to say a root beer shake i don't know what that would taste like a root float don't either and so i was looking on yelp trying to find like a good place and there's tons of burger places in la but most of them are kind of like meh and so i found one that was straight up just 4.8 stars i was like that's pretty close to five yeah and it was called burger lounge and it was i don't know uh maybe five minutes away i was like, that's pretty close to five. Yeah. And it was called Burger Lounge. And it was, I don't know, maybe five minutes away. I was like, all right, let's see what the reviews are. I started going through the reviews, and his review popped up.

And I was like, yo, I trust a fat dude from Chicago. I'm going. And so I went to Burger Lounge, and I got just like the Burger Lounge burger and something called a half and half that was onion rings and inside the onion rings like in the hole they made were french fries and I was like this is great. It's like a little tower. It's fantastic. And then I got a root beer float

and the fries were great. The onion rings were really really good and the burger was fantastic. Dang it. And I was like this dude nailed it. I wouldn't say it's the best burger I ever had Dang it. And I was like, this dude nailed it. I wouldn't say it's the best burger I ever had, but in that moment, it was a really good burger. Yeah, I can appreciate that.

Oh, my God. I forgot. I was watching YouTube, and there was this video that kept getting recommended in my thing, and it was like, what did peasants used to eat in the medieval ages? Yes, I saw that, too. I haven't watched the video, though. Oh, my God. It's great.

It's like they eat actually really well. They're like salmon. They had rye bread. They had, it's like pea pottage, like peas in a pot. And then they drink water. Yeah, it's like a porridge. They call it pottage. Interesting.

And they had beer and water. But sometimes it was like they had beer and water but sometimes it was like you know they had beer like more than water and so if you like start drinking beer at five years old and stuff because that's like all you had it's uh it's pretty crazy just like looking back and seeing all that old food they used because it's like when you think of it you think like they'd eat like gray slop or something like you're a peasant is you slop. But like, no, they actually eat pretty well. It's like, I mean, yeah, I guess it's about quantity, right?

Like they probably what we would consider ate well, but they just had what they did. Like their daily jobs, caloric intake would have probably been low. Yeah. And I imagine that it, like, you know, they probably ate, in our minds, like, oh, well, they had, oh, they had a nice salmon. That would have been hard as shit to catch, you know, like, they actually have to work for it. They'd go forever without eating, and we're just like, I'm hungry. I had food this morning, but now I'm hungry again. Go McDonald's. Yum, yum. That's exactly what I'm like, sadly. Go McDonald's. Yum, yum. That's exactly what I'm like, sadly enough.

McDonald's. Yum, yum. French fry. All right. So what? Oh, yeah. News. What's our news?

What's our news? I didn't really have a news story, but I found somebody tweeted one, and it's from Dayton, Ohio. Oh, my God. All right. I'm in. Strip club shut down after food stamps used to buy lap dances. Drugs. Uh-huh. All right, I'm in. Strip club shut down after food stamps used to buy lap dances, drugs. Uh-huh.

All right, let me hear this. All right, an Ohio adult entertainment bar was shut down after agents with the Ohio Liquor Control Commission discovered the bar. Time out, time out. It's called an adult entertainment bar? Yes. Strip clubs are called adult entertainment? Okay, sure, yeah, all right. Just the fancy terminology. right fancy the ohio ohio liquor control commission discovered the bar

accepted food stamps for drugs and lap dances that is i mean very progressive of them like i don't i don't know that i i'd want money for my drugs, but okay. Food stamps work. The Dayton Daily News reported the agents who were sent to Sharky's Bar were allowed by... Sharky's Bar? Yeah. Sharky's Bar. I don't know if Sharky's Bar... When I was... Here's the thing.

Right. When I was young, every so often there was a place... No, his name... I thought it was Sharky's, but his name was Voltsy. Nevermind. There was a guy who owned like a burger stand outside of a bar and we would go there every so often and his name was Voltsy and he'd yell at you. He'd be like, why are you kids in school? We're like, we're here for lunch. And he'd be like, damn kids. And then he'd yell at you when he like made you food. And then he'd

be like, get the hell out of here. He was really mean, but he made good burgers So we would go there every so often Enjoy your goddamn burger, you idiots Yeah, he would yell at us every day And call us stupid But that was Voltzy Sharky? I don't know a Sharky I like how everyone's an E

That's Voltzy, and that's Sharky, and that's Smacky That's Dinky Dicky, Picky But I will take a guess Before I look this up I'm going to take a guess that this is Somewhere along the way to the Dayton International Airport That whole area is

The minute you start heading towards the Dayton I think it's called the Cox International Airport Which makes it even funnier The minute you start heading that way It becomes a little white trashy So I'm gonna go on a limb And say this definitely Occurred in that area

I'm looking this up Yeah let's see here Dude Sharky's Bar and Grill It's got like good reviews No it's called Sharky's Lounge That's New York Sharky's Lounge. Oh, that's New York. Sharky's Lounge, that is a two-and-a-half-star adult entertainment club. Oh, yeah.

It's in Northridge, Ohio. Yeah, it is. Wow, that looks like the place we ate at at Pac South. I mean, the outside Definitely does Yeah It looks just like If you're gonna buy drugs This is where I would say

You would find drugs at The crazy thing is Is some of the reviews Here's one review I went to go use my WIC card for a dance But they only accepted Food stamps

There you go Damn dude Oh yeah it's got A Yelp Oh yeah it's got a Yelp. Oh, yeah, it's only one review. Cover, none. I just kind of walked in. Club setup, lame.

There's a pit to the right of the club surrounded by bar wall stage catwalk. Don't really know what it was, but reminds me of the strip clubs in Salt Lake City. Lame, lame, lame. Girls, not attractive. Cold beer. Cold beer, but funky dancers. Overall assessment, go somewhere else.

Either living room or harem entertainers. Wow, thanks, Cobra K from Singapore. Did he, like, come all the way from Singapore to to go to the to go to the sharkies bar i mean sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do i guess wow this place here's what's crazy lost their liquor license and now it's permanently closed i guess it's done it's done for good now

uh i mean it's right next to a fast signs which says a lot i mean like i do i like how there's just a giant shark outside i i need to see this on a map where this has to be this has to be along the way to oh it's right near the north ridge est. I don't know what that means. It's along the 75. Okay, I get it. 75, head in north. North, yep. You're right. If you look at the map, if you look at the map, and you go past the 70 on the 75, Dayton International Airport.

Of course it is. Every trashy thing that ever existed where I lived, if you were like, where's a place that if you want to go get stabbed with a knife, you should go, it's a place that if you want to go get stabbed with a knife, you should go? It's definitely along that highway. Everywhere along that highway was trash. One of the places my friend used to work was

an outback state. Alright, Crandor, I'm going to take you on an adventure. Okay. Go look up Sharky's Lounge. Okay. And like Google map that. And when you see it on Okay. And, like, Google map that. And when you see it on the Google map, I've mentioned this before. Remember how I said I had a friend, Mike, who used to work at Outback Steakhouse,

and he would work during the day, and everyone he worked with was, like, just an illegal immigrant, and they would just, like, come and chill out with him and work all day, right? Yeah. If you go north from this Sharky's thing, you'll see it says, Wing Sports Bar and Grill. If you zoom in on that, you'll see the infamous Outback Steakhouse where all that took place. Oh, my God. That entire area.

Again, let me just repeat this. If you're looking to get stabbed with a knife, go up along the 75 and somewhere along, just pull off anywhere along there, you'll definitely get in a fight with some guy who's like, did you touch my hair? Don't you do it.

This is packed with stuff. You got your Red Robin, your Ruby Tuesday, your Chick-fil-A, your Red Lobster, your Steak and Shake, your Fazioli's, your Golden Corral, your Olive Garden, your Smash Burger, your Hooters. Yeah, this whole area was all of those chain restaurants. And I think the reason why is because it's right off of the airport. But it's also right on the interchange between the 70 and 75. And those are two major roads.

And so, yeah. But I never quite understood that. Because then you have to go all the way down and then you get to dayton and then if you pass dayton well there's little oakwood that's where i was raised oh yeah and i went there yeah you can see oakwood ohio you can actually see my the street that you that you that you walked on yeah and uh you saw you saw my house. Yeah, it's probably still on the internet.

Just search Crandor Jesse's house or something. It's probably up there. Don't do that. Most people probably are still like, Weirdos keep showing up at our house, standing on the front lawn. Nobody's going there. Nobody, nobody. Nobody's going there.

Who are we kidding? So yeah, that place got shut down then that's a story yeah i mean that is a story all right well that's it for this episode thank you so much for listening or watching or however you're ingesting this delicious content uh krendor him with the socials we got spotify now soundcloud uh spotify youtube iTunes. We're all over with this podcast. Just search us on one of those. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast. And for animations, YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor.

Also, I had Dan draw a new animation thing for the YouTube one. And it's all like fancy now if you want to check that out. And we got YouTube.com slash Jesse Cox. YouTube.com slash Grindr. Twitter.com slash Jesse Cox. Twitter.com slash Grindr. Twitter.com slash... Oh, wait, I already said Twitter.

Twitch.tv slash Grindr. Twitch.tv slash Jesse Cox. That's all I got. Shout out to everyone, by the way, who replied to this post. I'm trying to find it. It was by Quite Interesting at Q-I-C-O-P-E-D-I-A.

So, Quickopedia. According to Icelandic folklore, households are visited by 13 Yule Lads. Shout out to everyone who tweeted at them the videos from our Yule Lads animated series. A lot of people have been doing it, and I keep getting tagged in it. It's great. So let everyone know. Just keep doing it. Just keep replying with videos.

All of you listening right now, reply to that tweet with links to Cox and Crandor. Keep it going. We'll get new fans. That's how this works, I think. Just bug them. Bug them. Tell them to listen. Yeah, just bug QI.

Yeah. And we'll see. Yeah, maybe one day the QI team will invite us on. Is QI still on the TV? Yeah, it is. Right? I don't know. It has to be.

Yeah, it definitely is. I don't is. Right? I don't know. It has to be. Yeah, it definitely is. I don't know. Right? I hope so. I don't know. I don't know. I haven't watched QI, and I only watch it when it's on Dave. I haven't seen any new episodes, so I don't know what.

I'm sure Alan Davies is still on there somewhere. Anyway, that's it for us. Thank you so much, and we will see you guys next time. So, as always, beep! To be continued.