Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 177 - Rockin' Baby Jesus

Episode Date: December 24, 2018

On this episode Jesse and Crendor begin what I truly believe to be the best Christmas album of 2019. Coming eventually! Also we learn all 3 things Crendor knows about Argentina! Some wacky news and random thoughts and you've got yourself an all new Cox n' Crendor! Get 30% off any 23andMe kit at http://23andme.com/cox Go to http://talkspace.com/COX, and use the code COX to get $45 off your first month.

Today's episode is brought to you by Talkspace, the online therapy company that lets you message a licensed therapist from anywhere at any time. Also brought to you by 23andMe. Get your DNA and get in that car. That car is in the back. That car is going to get its DNA right now. So you gotta go pick that up. Yes, named after the 23 pairs of chromosomes in your DNA.

We'll talk about that later as well I was like, DNA! Oh god I gotta get mine And he drove away Hello everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning In the morning

Broadcasting live, live, live, live In 4-Hour Morning Studio Hello everybody, welcome back to Gax and Creddor in the morning. Hey, what's going on? What's up? How you doing? Uh, can I be real with you? Confused. I'm doing confused. Alright, good. I mean, that's the thing where everybody's like, how you doing? You're like, good. But nobody's ever good. Maybe like once every ten times you'll be good. Like, hey, you know what, I'm pretty good. There are limes in my office. Oh, that's a personal problem.

Like, the other day, someone brought in limes in my office. Oh, that's a personal problem. Like the other day, someone brought in limes, but they've been sitting in here so long that they're starting to turn yellow. And now I'm curious if they were lemons that were underripe because I can't figure out. I'm looking at them right now and they're like kind of green, kind of yellow. And I don't know if that just means that it's overripe limes or underripe lemons. Why did they bring them in? Great question. Do not know. Was brought in and was told like, hey, I brought some limes.

Don't know what for. Okay. That's weird. Yeah, welcome to my life. Um, that's weird. Yeah, welcome to my life. I mean, well, if they said they're limes, or they just dropped them off, not saying anything. Yeah, but they could also be an idiot. That's true.

Right? They could have bought lemons thinking they were limes. Limes yellow. Limes are yellow and they are fully ripe. Oh, see, okay, maybe that's perfect then. Maybe I have perfectly perfect limes are yellow and they are fully ripe oh see okay maybe that's perfect then maybe I have perfectly perfect limes that's like the opposite of bananas

where they just get spots and get weird and then they're like now they're ripe it's like what so I should be using a yellow lime instead of a green lime yeah limes are yellow and they are fully ripe and develop sugars that make them delicious they are not sold when yellow because unripe fruit is easier to ship Interesting what?

Dude, I need to eat a yellow line. I want to eat a yellow lime. I know it's great. Wow I have two of them. Oh my god. You were here. We could have a lime party Dan Oh my God. If you were here, we could have a lime party. Damn. Man. If only. We could have had a lime party. Who needs Christmas when you got a lime party? That's really what it's about. I think Jesus would approve.

Dude, why have Christmas? Why my birthday? We're going to eat some limes, dude. This year, Christmas is a lime party. Like, thanks, JC. Jesus also says dude a lot. Yeah, he does. Dude.

He's known for saying dude. Dude, I'm telling you, dude. Dude, you guys have no clue, JC. Jesus also says dude a lot. Yeah, he does. He's known for saying dude. Dude, you guys have no clue, dude. Limes are ripe when they're yellow. It'll blow your mind. I know this. You don't. Just because, you know, God thing.

It's in the Bible now. It's in there. Yeah, I think I read it in there. It's definitely in there. So, yeah, I mean, that's good for you. Mm-hmm. I mean, it's... What is this today?

Oh, yeah. We got one day till Christmas Eve. One day. We're technically be up on Christmas Eve. Today's that weird, like, Christmas Eve Eve thing that people who once saw an episode of Friends keep talking about. It's like... Yeah, it's like the day where people just drink a lot and they're like all right here we go

especially because it's a sunday all the people are drinking they're like it's like the pre-game they're in the parking lot of a football game sure yeah and then christmas eve is for them getting in to the like watching the game and christmas is when their teams won or or lose depending on what you get. Yeah. Because sometimes, you know, you get terrible gifts for Christmas, like herpes. That would be a bad gift. That would be a bad gift, right? You open that box and it's like a note that says, go see your doctor, I have herpes.

That's a bad gift. That's a bad gift. That's a bad gift. And then, let's see, what else could you get? What about gift cards? Gift cards are like the standard neutral gift. That's a bad gift. And then, let's see. What else could you get? What about gift cards? Gift cards are like the standard neutral gift. You know what?

You know what's better than gift cards? Lotto tickets. Gift cards are garbage. Lotto tickets, that's where it's at. Give your family lotto tickets. They get to play a game. It's a win-lose situation. Sometimes they walk away with a ton of money, and it's great.

It's great. You have a little dust everywhere they'll walk away with a ton of money, and it's great. It's great. You have a little dust everywhere from the scratchers. Love it. Love it. That's true. I mean, it's not even that bad. You just put, like, one or two of them. It's like two bucks.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. If you love your family, get those $5, $10 ones. That's fine. And you're helping to fund your state's roads or something. Yeah, those gift cards, what are they going to do? They're going to get like 20 bucks to Olive Garden. You're just killing your family at that point. Yeah, and then they might not even want to go there,

and they're like, all right. You should have just gave them cash. Yeah, you should have just given them cash. Yeah, they probably would have been happier. That's all we're saying. If you have to choose between gift cards or cash, cash is always better're saying if you have to choose between gift cards or cash cash is always better and if you're spending anything and scratchers you get those scratchers well what's like the whole point of the gift card is that you know that person likes to go to a place so you got them a thing for that place right yes but i also know that people like to go to a lot of places so if we just give them money instead I don't know what people are like

Money is just It's so unpersonal Nothing is more personal than money Give them money I don't think Who would be disappointed If you open up a thing and it's like $100 You're like god

That's one of those things where people are like You didn't put any thought into it It's like fine then I'll think about not giving you $100 next year. Everyone else getting money, I'll just add your money to their money. There's two types of people. There's the people that are like, yes, money. And then there's the people that are like, there's no thought into it. But at the same time, they're still going to take it.

They're still going to be happy with it. Yeah, the thought was that, hey, you like buying things, so here's money. Exactly. That's one of the best thoughts you can have. Like, hey, I gave you money. You can spend it on whatever you want. You don't have to be forced to go to

Forever 21 now. And you can if you want to, though. That's what I'm saying. What a gift. What a gift. What a gift money is. Yes, that'll be a fun little Christmas thing. I don't know. Christmas is

one of those holidays where it's like... It's one of the holidays... It's like a main holiday, you know what I mean? There's the little holidays and the main holidays. I mean, I know what you mean. It's crazy, but holidays. It's like a main holiday. You know what I mean? Like there's the little holidays, the main holidays. I mean, I know what you mean. It's crazy, but I know what you mean. Yeah.

Like I'd say Christmas and see what's another main holiday. I'd say Halloween. But even then, I don't know. It's like bordering. Halloween borders a main holiday. I think maybe Thanksgiving's a main holiday. I think Thanksgiving... Thanksgiving's a main holiday, I'd say. I think Thanksgiving's a main holiday because Thanksgiving has two days. There's Thanksgiving and then Black Friday, so you get a twofer.

Christmas, you have Christmas Eve and Christmas. That's like a twofer, too. I don't know any other holidays where you have a twofer. That's true. Yeah, let's see. What is there? Holidays. Valentine's, you have that one night and you're like, oh, thank God it's over.

Right? Like the 4th of July is sort of like, okay, that happened. I got too much to drink and watch fireworks. New Year's is a nighttime thing. New Year's. Yeah. New Year's is more of a nighttime thing and it's also like uh everyone just sits around watches like tv or they go out and freeze in a thing or they go to a party and everyone's

like yeah new year i gotta get the job which by the way oh my god i can't go to the gym uh well i guess i can but it's gonna be packed i gotta go at like a non-opportune time yeah now you have to deal with all those people who want to get fit. All the new people trying to invade my territory. Oh, man. Yeah, you're a gym rat now. Yeah. You have all those newbies coming in

with their sweatpants. Gotta lose weight. I've been pumping since August, dude. You scrubs, you don't get it. I've been here since August grinding out my reps. And you think you can come in here, just take all the weight machines? No, bro, there's an order.

There's an order, bro. Yeah, so I'm going to have to go to the gym at like 9 p.m. when they all go to sleep. Or I'm going to have to go at like 1 p.m. when they're all still at work. Both inconvenient, but, you know, it'll only be like three weeks then everyone will fall off. Sure, of course. Yeah, so that's New Year's.

And then, I don't know, what else? What else we got here? Idaho Human Rights Day is January 15th. That's a good day. That might be a twofer. I'll be real with you. That might be a strong contender. One day for humans, one day for rights.

Only in Idaho. Only in Idaho, though. Wait, January 29th is Kansas Day? You know what? Kansas deserves its own day. Why? So people remember that Kansas exists. And the rest of the

year, no one gives a shit. Here's Valentine's Day. Super Bowl's a pretty big holiday event. Super Bowl's a pretty big event. I don't know if it's a holiday. It's essentially a holiday at this point. Unless in like 20 years. 20 years.

Yeah, that's right. 20 years. I was going to say 2000, but in 20 years, sure. We create some sort of Bible around it. And they're like, hello, on this day in February, two teams gathered, both against good and evil. Yeah. That should be about 20 years from now. Yeah.

Let's see. We got Cinco de Mayo. I mean, that's just like a mini holiday. That's a mini holiday. Somebody that's like, this is a major holiday for me, dude. But not in the States. Yeah. Cinco de Mayo is a solid, like, let's go out and get a drink.

It's like a St. Patrick's Day. Yeah. It's a St. Patrick's Day. Mother's Day, it's like a saint patrick's day um yeah it's a father's day father's day yeah uh yeah i don't know i think these this is like the biggest string of holidays that's why they're like happy holidays they don't hear people be like happy holidays in march you know for saint patrick's day okay happy holidays it's like it's saint patrick's day right so i mean i think the idea is that around christmas there's so many halloween's till new year's those are like the mega holly then you hit january and then everyone doesn't do anything it just gets boring cold uh dark but it's not as bad because instead of getting darker every day, it starts getting brighter every day.

And then you're like, yeah, we're getting to spring. And then you're like, yeah, you know? I mean, yeah, I get it. You're right. Yeah. Can I say, I think there's something to the idea that holidays with snow equal better holidays. Yeah, I like snow holiday.

Unless they got a drive in it. But I'm saying it's just comforting. You're by the fire and everyone's together and you're all in blankies and you're playing a board game. I think the whole fairytale version of the holidays, air quotes, around Christmas and the whole new year and stuff. I think it's much better. When you live in LA, you don't have that. There's no snow. People put lights outside, but it looks weird. There's a different vibe than being in the eastern side of the United States

where it's freezing cold. It just is different. Holidays are different. Yeah. I think snow has a lot to do with it. the time it's just the same you know that's the difference is like in in the midwest or like the east coast or whatever you've got all the different seasons so you got like really cold kind of cold medium uh warmer and hot so you just kind of cold, medium, warmer, and hot. So you just kind of rotate, and then you're like, oh, it's cold out. That means we're in the holiday season.

While in Florida or California, you're just like, oh, look, it's hot again. Like every day, but it's slightly less hot. But it's now December, so put up your lights. Yeah. It doesn't feel as good, I don't think. Yeah, there's something about it. There's something about the whole mystique of snow outside your window as your opening presence. You're inside all day with the family because you have to be, right?

Well, here, if you're in LA and you're inside with the family all day, you're like, why are we inside? Let's go outside and do something. Yeah. I don't know. I like that's go outside and do something. Yeah. I don't know. I like that. I like the changing seasons. Yeah. They're fine, I guess.

That's what you're into. That's pretty nice. Yeah. I don't know. What else? I heard some Christmas songs. I think I talked about Christmas songs last time or last year. I talked about Christmas songs at some point. I like how

the only two options available was last time or last year. That is your memory. Well, I didn't talk about it last time or last year. Oh yeah, if we go back like three years, I don't remember that. Or even two years. You go back three episodes, don't remember that.

But last episode or last year you remember everything yeah there's like that uh paul mccartney one it like pierces you like a radio wave it's like i'm sorry what yeah song. And he's like... I mean, I know what song you're talking about, but I don't know if that's how the background music goes. That is how it goes. We'll put it on. Just look Paul McCartney Christmas.

You'll find it. Isn't it Wonderful Christmas Time or whatever the song is called? Yeah, that's it. Wonderful Christmas Time. Right. Yeah, I get it, but the way you're like it's like he's using Professor X powers. That's what I'm

saying. It sounds like he made that music with Professor X. Simply having a wonderful Christmas. having a wonderful Christmas. I'm pretty sure that's not how that song goes. It is. Just listen to it. I'm telling you. And then,

there's... I realize there's only like two Christmas songs every ten years that break into the lineup. Sure, sure. And so, we haven't really had some good ones lately. It's just people remaking old ones, like Taylor Swift doing Last Christmas. Like, I hate that song.

Taylor Swift should not be allowed in the Christmas lexicon, period. There's songs like Justin Bieber trying to do Christmas stuff. You're not allowed. You're just not allowed in. The last allowed in was the Mariah Carey song, and we'll allow it. We'll allow it in. It's a great song. It's fantastic. You're in not allowed in. The last allowed in was the Mariah Carey song, and we'll allow it. We'll allow it in. It's a great song. It's fantastic.

You're in, Mariah. Since that time, there's not been a worthy Christmas song, period. No. They all just copy the other songs, or they do their own version of it. Like the Bam Wham Last Christmas one. That was a good one because it's got like all the 80s sound. Last Christmas, a boopity-boo. And then Taylor Swift sings it, and she's just like,

Last Christmas. Yeah, no, Taylor, stop. It's like, just stop. Stick to what you're good at. Get out of here. Roasting your ex-boyfriends. And shaking it off. Yeah, shake it off.

Get out of Christmas. Yeah, yeah, we're not making fun of you. Shake it off. Move on. Go back to what you're good at, Taylor uh yeah yeah no thanks the last one was mariah and since then my favorite christmas songs the old standards that are like some of them i like some of them are just too depressing they gotta have a little upbeat like i like the let it snow that's a nice little upbeat one rocking around the Christmas tree. Yeah. Jingle Bell Rock is fun.

Isn't that the same one? No. There's Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, and then Rocking Around the Christmas Tree is Rocking around the Christmas tree. Is it the same person that made it? No. Or just Brenda Lee. Okay, that's Rocking Around Christmas.

Oh, the Andy Williams Christmas? It's the most wonderful time of the year. That's a great song. It's like ping pong. That was in the 60s, I think, that came out. Burl Ives, that's who it is. Burl Ives is my favorite one. Have a holly jolly Christmas.

That's my favorite Christmas song, period. Say hello to Fred Ludo. Yes. That's my favorite song. That's my favorite Christmas song, period. Say hello to Fred Ludo. Yes. That's a good one. That is 100%. The way he does the intro is like, All that jolly Christmas. It sounds like he's drunk when he sings it.

And it's how I imagine Christmas. It's what I want. Yeah, I like that one. Yeah, Jingle Bell Rock is Bobby Helms, and Rock Around the Christmas Tree is Brenda Lee. Yeah, yeah, that's it. I don't like the ones where it's like... Oh, yeah, no, those suck.

Like, I want a Christmas song. Here's what a good Christmas song needs to be. One, needs to have like a brass band in the background. Some sort of like band, period. Needs to have a band. Two, needs to be upbeat and like just like super fun and like a joy, like get your body moving. Three, the less Jesus mentioned, the better. That's just a fact.

That's just a fact. As little baby Jesus drinking wine with me by the fire. That's creepy. But I'm just saying like the more Jesus-y the song gets, the more like slowed down it gets. Because no one's like, well, we don't want to offend. And we don't want to like take the Lord's name in vain. Like that kind of stuff. Rocking at with Jesus.

That would be a great song. Rocking at with Jesus. It's the 25th, and I'm rocking with my man, little Jesus from the town of Bethlehem. That would be amazing. That would be an amazing song. And it's just like, rocking baby Jesus. Rocking baby Jesus. That would be an amazing song.

We can break into the music industry Why do we not make a song called Rockin' baby Jesus Rockin' baby Jesus And it's like a double entendre It's got like the You're rockin' the baby And you're rockin' the baby

And in the background it's like Mary And she's rockin' the cradle And Jesus is like with sunglasses on And there's like a choir of angels In the background it's like Mary and she's rocking the cradle and Jesus is like with sunglasses on like yo And there's like like you know choir of angels in the background like rockin baby Jesus It'd be amazing Music video Let's see yeah white Christmas, that's like the slowest, most boring one. I'm not a huge fan of White Christmas. White Christmas is a beautiful song, but it's sort of just like too slow for me.

I agree. It's too slow. I don't like those slow songs. It just makes me want to, it just depresses me. And I don't want to be depressed right now. It makes you realize why they drank so much back then you know sure uh let's see there's the the first noel it's like another one yeah it's almost too slow too slow for me you're right i agree it's not nearly as good as the rocket baby jesus rock baby Jesus. Now that would be a song.

So I was analyzing the 12 days of Christmas. Wait, what? Why? I don't understand it. Wait, what? Why? Okay. So what's the 12 days of Christmas actually about? Well, for the record, the 12 days of Christmas start on December 25th, I believe.

Okay. So it's after Christmas. It doesn't run up to Christmas. It I believe. Okay. So it's after Christmas. It doesn't run up to Christmas. It's afterwards. Okay. First off, who is their true love? I don't know. On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me. Okay. So they're sending them

something. Like through the mail? I believe another lyric is gave to me as well. Okay. Well, either way, it's somebody giving this person the thing. Right. Okay. So they gave him a partridge in a pear tree. So partridge, it's a bird, right?

Yes. And a pear tree is a tree with pears. How big is a pear tree? I don't know. They're probably in a pot somewhere. I think we're- Some big pear trees. We're covering up the headline, though, in that you got a pear tree.

Like a partridge in a pear. Like the partridge. And a partridge in a pear. It should be like, and I got a giant pear tree with a bird. This one's okay. All right. I would accept like a partridge in a pear tree. It's a good gift.

Okay. The second one, though, is two turtle doves. Yeah. So now you got all these birds. Yeah, cuz you're like a fan of birds Okay, well then you got three French hens. Yeah more birds That's so many birds But you like you got four calling birds the four the first four things are just birds Yeah, now you have a bunch of birds to go in your tree. I think it's beautiful Okay, what about five

gold rings? Well, one ring for each of the dwarven kingdoms, I would assume. The bird kings. Yeah. One ring for each of the bird kings. The four calling birds in their holes beneath the ground.

The three French hens who control the world. The five French hens who control the world. The five kings of men. And the two turtle doves upon their throne in the north. And the partridge in his pantry ruling amongst the whole land. And one ring to rule them all. Listen, I'd watch that.

I would love that movie. Okay. Here's the that movie. Okay. Here's the other thing. They keep saying, like on the third day of Christmas, my true love sent to me three French hens, two turtle doves, partridge, and a pear tree. They keep saying that. Is that them repeating it, or are they just getting more of the previous items? It's like, oh, another pear tree.

More turtle doves. Oh, I think it's just they're calling back to what they already got because it's a lot of stuff. Okay. Because they always repeat it. So I'm like, are they just getting more of it? I mean, if that's the case, I hate to break it to you, but your true love is trying to buy your love.

Yeah. Oh, there's no doubt. Because by the 12th day, you have 12 peach trees, 12 pear trees. You have 12 pear trees. That's a lot of trees. Then you've got six geese a-laying. Yeah. So you have the eggs, too.

That's very good. That's breakfast. Yeah. I learned that you didn't actually eat chickens and birds back then because they'd give you eggs. Right. So it was uncommon to actually eat chickens. So it was like when it got old and died, then you'd eat it. Or it was like a royalty thing.

Let's see. Then there's Seven Swans of Swimming. Yeah, for the lake. Where are they swimming at? In the lake that you have where you put your tree so you got a lot of lane well yeah this song is definitely for like about a rich person okay uh but then you've got eight maids the milking yeah so they're milking the ducks yeah do you get the cows or something no you don't get cows You just get maids that know how to milk And that's it

What they milk is up to you They're not You don't even get 8 milk maids You get 8 maids of milking They're already milking Yeah they're maids that just know how to milk Okay Well you gotta invite them in

Yeah oh I would Oh I would And then you get nine ladies dancing Yeah, so far so great I'm loving the way that my grounds look now And you've got Ten lords a-leaping Yeah, well the lords, they've come to party

And they are, they know there's Nine, nine ladies dancing And eight maids of milking. That's good odds for the Lord. That's why they're leaping. They're very excited. They're coming in like, hello. We're here. But then you've got to house all these people.

This becomes like a Bilbo Baggins situation with the doors. He's going to run out of food, and they're just destroying everything. Yeah, and then they sing a really sad song like, i'm dreaming of a white like get out of here that's why you bring in the 11 pipers piping cheer them up that's right that's right and they're like rocking baby santa wait rocking baby santa that's the follow-up that's the not so successful follow-up. That's the not-so-successful follow-up. Rockin' Baby Santa. It's just a little baby with a beard. Dude.

Okay, then there's the pipers piping and the drummers drumming, which, again, you've got to house all these people. There's too many people at this point. At this point, it's like a really great party. Yeah, it's just a big party. I guess, I don't know. It's not my ideal 12 days of Christmas, but what are you going to do? Well, that's because you aren't from the 1800s,

one would assume. I guess, yeah, it was published in 1780. It's kind of weird. Yeah. That's weird. It's old. Oh, yeah. It was published in 1780. It's kind of weird. Yeah. That's weird. It's old. That's weird. This stuff sounds weird, and it's old.

You're right. You're right. It does. Well, baby Santa. Would Santa ever even be a baby, or is he like a weird deity? Just became. Great question. He could be an alien.

Yeah. Santa could be an alien, and he comes and brings gifts to kids. And those gifts could be tracking devices. He's tracking humans back at his home planet. It's all one big scam by the Coca-Cola Corporation. I knew it. He's got them in his back pocket. Yeah, that's all the christmas i got we're really doing it we're really all right well speaking of speaking of the 1800s by using 23andme you can go back in time and discover your roots and the people in your life

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Marty, Marty, you've got to take your 23 and me. You've got to go to 23 and me and Cox. Also today we're brought to you by Talkspace. Talkspace is an online therapy company that helps you get in touch with licensed therapists anytime, anywhere. All you need is a computer with an internet connection or the mobile app. It basically is there to help you improve your mental health. And you don't even have to like schedule appointments. It's, it's a phenomenal service because the whole big hassle, one of the many reasons

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support for this show. Go to Talkspace.com slash Cox. Talkspace.com slash Cox. Alright, Crandall, what is our big news story of the day? I don't know because we didn't do any of our other segments. You're right.

You know what? I've just only been thinking about Rockin' Baby Jesus. Rockin' Baby Jesus. It's all I've been thinking about, too. Yeah. Really, the rest of this show should be just us making the lyrics for Rockin' Baby Jesus. Oh, my God. Rockin' Baby Jesus. What an amazing song.

Okay, let's go to chapter seven. Let's go. Grab your credit cards. Let's drive you out there. You want to know about this guy's crap never cried out. It's not driving out there. You want to know about the traffic? Let me tell you. It's insane. Everybody's traveling.

Everybody's going everywhere. There's people in boats, people in cars, people in a far as people in jars. They're hopping down and big, big jars. It is packed everywhere. So you, if you, if you gotta get somewhere for christmas eve or christmas you gotta go now uh and preferably by the ocean i would say take your own personal submarine uh maybe a private jet uh you know anyway you can just stay off those roads because they are getting crazy uh back to you thanks creditor now let's go over to creditor at the weather desk

that's right we're at the weather desk today and's right. We're at the weather desk today. And you know what? I'm in the mood to go to Santa Rosa La Pampa, Argentina. Yep. What was the name of that town again? What's the name? It's Santa Rosa. Uh-huh. What was the last part that town again? What's the name? It's Santa Rosa. Uh-huh. What was the last part? La Pompa?

I was going to say La Pompa. Hold on. What was it again? Santa La Pompa, I guess, is like the area. I don't know. Don't ask me. I don't know these things. Santa Rosa, Argentina.

We got 88 degrees. It's sunny. It feels like 88. We got a high of nothing. Oh, I guess 88 know these things. Santa Rosa, Argentina. We got 88 degrees. It's sunny. It feels like 88. We got a high of nothing. Oh, I guess 88 is the high. Low 73. Monday, 99 degrees. Oh, my God.

That's a spicy Mamma Mia. Monday night, 71. Tuesday, 99. Tuesday night, 69. So, hey, that's a pretty hot Christmas. that's a very hot christmas actually uh let's see isn't argentina like all the way down there oh yeah it is here's another it's pretty far all the way down there right next to bala blanca and then let's see what's at the bottom ushara dude what are these things are just like

a bunch of mountains I mean that's Argentina like in the south uh southwest of South America yeah it's like a bunch of oh my god there's so many like rocky things I love when you learn about geography I'm just sitting here like, just a proud parent, like, oh, my little boy. Puerto Natale. Wait, let's see. I want to go in the... Let's see what we got. Coletta Ferrari. Hold on.

Coletta Ferrari. What's this place look like? Eh, it's just very hilly. I guess it's more hills than anything. What do you know? You got me literally on Google Maps right now trying to figure out what the hell you're talking about. Oh, there's the Falkland Islands. I've always heard of those.

Then there's the Scotia Sea. And then there's Antarctica. Wait, South Georgia and South Sandwich Islands, UK. Yeah, I guess they're owned by the UK. Damn. Wow. What's even there? Click on them.

Literally, it's just a picture of a frog. No, that's not a frog. That's a seal and, like, two boats. I thought that was a frog. That is... Oh my god, you're right. There's like furry penguins. Legitimately furry penguins.

Dude, I think penguins just live here. I don't think people live here. There's penguins. There's dudes on motorboats driving around. This place looks like no one lives here. No one would live here. Yeah, no way. Oh my god, this is crazy

looking. They are legit furry penguins. This is so weird. There's an island. Like a little tiny, like it's a little village and the biggest building is the church. Oh, I would not get along well there.

Wow, look at that. See, I didn't even know that existed. now i'm on the same page as you i learned something new yeah it's the weather all right what is going on sports uh sports sports welcome to sports desk uh mainly just more football stuff uh we've got some crazy football action happening right now. Currently, the Saints are beating the Steelers 17-14. Of course they are. The Bears are beating the 49ers 14-9.

The Rams are beating the Cardinals 24-9. The Colts beat the Giants. The Jaguars beat the Dolphins. The Falcons beat the Panthers. The Browns won again, which means the Browns are on pace to get above 500 for the first time in forever.

A long time. It was like early 2000s last time they did that. Dallas beat Tampa Bay. Minnesota beat Detroit. New England beat Buffalo. Packers beat the Jets. Houston beat the Eagles. Or no, the Eagles beat Houston. Why are we,

uh, and then Baltimore beat the chargers. Tennessee beat the Redskins. Uh, let's see any other sports stuff happened. It was crazy. Uh, that,

that, that, that, uh, let's see the Marius Thomas tour Achilles, uh, basketball is being played. Basketball is being played. Hockey is being played.

Sports are being played. Sports are being played. Cubs not ruling out run on Bryce Harper. Dodgers traded a bunch of people to the Reds. And a lot of baseball transactions happening because they got all their winter meetings in Vegas. And yeah, that's sports. All right, what is our big news story of the day?

I've got it. We don't need Florida man when we've got Christmas man. Okay. So Christmas man climbed to top of tree refused to come down christmas tree lights may flicker sunday's cruise assess damage the lights on the national christmas tree may flicker on and off sunday as the national park services assess damage to the tree the hope is that the lights will be on for christmas eve or christmas day uh the jenny anselmo Sarlez, a spokeswoman for the National Park Services, said NPS

is working on a partnership with the National Park Foundation that would allow for NPS to get the lights repaired. Some of the lights on the Colorado Blue Spruce are still damaged after a man climbed the tree and refused to come down for almost an hour. Why? What? Anselmo Sarlez

said the government shutdown made it more difficult to repair the damage section. Why are these? Hold on. Time out. Why are all these names fake names? What are you doing? Enzo Sarls. You're just Enzo Sarls.

What was the other woman's name? Jenny Garabag Sarls. Jenny Enzomo Sarles. Jenny Anselmo Sarles? Anselmo Sarles is not a last name. Eduardo Delgado. Eduardo Delgado, that's a name. Jenny, whatever alien name you just said.

Anselmo Sarles. Anselmo Sarles? That's not even a name. Yeah. Yeah. And Zelmos Sorrels? That's not even a name. Yeah. An individual climbed 15 to 20 feet up the National Christmas Tree at President's Park in Washington, D.C. at approximately 545 this evening.

U.S. Secret Service, Park Police, and D.C. Fire EMS quickly responded to the site. The individual came down from the tree on his own accord and was transferred to a hospital for evaluation. National Christmas Tree site is closed and the tree lights will remain off until National Park Services assesses for damage. I assume the assumption here is that this guy was trying to protest Trump or the government shutdown or something. They got nothing. There's nothing.

After an hour he came down and now he's probably going to get arrested. But why? Why climb up? Why take an hour? Why then climb down? I don't know now he's probably going to get arrested but why why climb up i don't why take an hour why then climb down i don't know if you're gonna protest go up to the top and like protest this guy was like one hour is enough i've made my point i've made my point crazy story like a man at the top like get down and he's like i ain't coming down no he got up there and was like well i've done enough i've done enough here today i't coming down. No, he got up there and was like, well, I've done enough. I've done enough here today.

I'm coming down, everybody. Everyone, one hour was all I could do. I'm coming down. It's very cold out here. And these needles hurt. Yeah, that was a disappointing story. All right. Well, I guess that what a shame.

What a shame that story didn't end ridiculously. It ended civilly. Very dumb. Yeah, very stupid. How dare they? How dare they? Why couldn't they have done that for Monkey Mondays? Yeah, where they were like, you know what?

The monkey bit the kid, but a monkey's going to bite a kid. So don't bring your kids to Monkey Mondays. Yeah, exactly. We could have still had Monkey Mondays. We still have a Christmas tree in Washington. Why can't we still have Monkey Mondays? That's the real question. Why can't we still have Monkey Mondays?

That truly is. Oh, wait. Oh, my God. We've got a follow-up to the syrup man from the other week. What? Wait. Okay. Yeah? Police found an unregistered assault rifle in the home of robert somley at the local landscaper whose sexual shenanigans with syrup won him national attention earlier this month yes i do remember that had been charged with voyeurism when he allegedly

refused to delete a video he secretly recorded of himself and a married woman having sex with maple syrup and jane oh they did have sex see in the original story Yeah, it made it sound like they just rubbed maple syrup on each other and I was like wait they didn't bang. That's weird Okay. Yeah, no, they were doing it. Oh, they were doing it. All right He was ordered to jail the following week for witness tampering after he allegedly called his paramour and threatened to go public with her name unless she dropped the case. Somley had just posted $150,000 bond for that crime when police picked him up again Wednesday

after allegedly finding an unregistered AK-47 in his house. This feels like the kind of guy who would have an unregistered AK-47 in his house. Just putting it out there. And the type of guy that would pour maple syrup on himself. Yeah, no. The V syrup, the Venn diagram of maple syrup, blackmail,

and illegal AK-47s I feel is very, it's almost a circle. Almost a circle. That is almost a circle. There we go. Well, at least we got our big news follow-up. That's really what matters, honestly. Yeah, that's our gift that keeps

on giving. It really is. Alright, well that's it for us, yeah that's our gift that keeps on giving really is all right well that's it for us everybody thank you so much for listening or watching or however you're enjoying this fine content but uh crendor hit him with the socials we have soundcloud.com slash cox and crendor says spotify cox and crendor we've got itunes cox and crendor we've got youtube.com slash cox and crendor podcast We've got iTunes Cox and Crandor. We've got YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast. If you want to listen to the podcast on YouTube. We've got YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor. If you just want to watch animations, go watch our animations.

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We will see you next time, so as always Bye Rockin' baby Jesus Rockin' baby Jesus so much and we will see you next time so as always bye rockin baby jesus rockin baby jesus