Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 178 - We're Done With 2018

Episode Date: December 31, 2018

It's the last podcast of 2018 and we couldn't be happier. We look back and reflect on the year the best way we know how - by not talking about it. Instead we talk about Charlie Brown's seasonal depression, Garfield, and delve deep into what exactly is wrong with us. All this and more as we wrap up one long crappy year, in this exciting episode of Cox n' Crendor! Get 25% off a Calm Premium subscription at http://calm.com/cox Get your first refill pack free at http://getquip.com/crendor

Today's episode is brought to you by Quip. Get your teeth brushed right for the holiday season. You got stuff to do this week, and let me tell you, you're gonna want your teeth to be awesome. Also, we're brought to you by Calm. Calm is an incredible resource on your phone. It is the number one app to help you meditate, sleep, and relax.

I can't wait to talk about this. I can't wait to talk about it today. So with that said, let's jump into this podcast. Hello everybody, welcome back to Cox and Crandall in the morning. Hey, Christmas time is gone. You have to sing it sad. Like really sad. That song is so sad. Christmas time is here. I know it's supposed to be like, I don't know.

I don't know. Charlie Brown's just depressing. The whole thing's depressing. I like Snoopy. He's fun. Snoopy's the only one who isn't suffering from mild seasonal depression in every single one of those specials. Yeah, it's actually very true. The Peanuts gang is just brutal to each other.

Yeah, just because. There's no reason to be. I guess you know that means they're good friends. That's true. But, I mean, Christmas time's gone, and I'm fine with it because we're moving out of 2018. That's true. We're finally moving on.

I'm moving on so much that I'm recording this at my house in what I think is the most echo-iest room ever. So if you hear me hitting a desk, this is a different setup for me. I just keep hitting things. I'm walking into things. I ain't going to worry about editing. It's just going to be fine. Yeah, it'll work itself out. Listen, people have listened to this at far worse quality.

Yeah, the kids will be fine at home with their audio files. There's no one's listening to this with a $500 headphone. There's definitely one person. What are you doing? Why? We're not the Beatles. You're not going to pick up other notes. It's not going to be there.

It's an audio specialist and then they just analyze all audio and they work for a giant corporation like Sony. That's probably their job. But you know what? Plug in different headphones. You probably got other ones. Hey idiot, yeah for this time for this one time, just plug in something different.

Yeah. Come on. How's it going with you? What's going on? I mean, it's going all right. It was, let's see. Yeah, I'm just happy to get out of 2018, the year of the gallbladder and buff door and no toenails. I'm ready to move on.

What does 2019 hold for you? What do you think 2019 holds for you? I'm very curious. Even a bigger buff door. What does that look like in your head? How do you imagine that? Because in my mind, I think when you say buff door,

you mean like wide, like a big wide buff dude. But I see you more as like trapped under a boulder because you've tried to climb a mountain buff door you know like that lean fit it'll be like the hulk uh it'll be like me transforming into the hulk but instead of a giant green man it'll be like a slightly smaller hulk that's like a sloth i mean sure yeah i'm not even gonna fight that you're right but You're right.

But I can only move at, like, a very slow pace as well. Sure. I mean, as you do. Yeah. But the thing is, all right, this is my superpower. I can't control that. But when I get, when someone, like, irritates me or, like, I get angry, then I get fast. Like a bear or something. But otherwise, I have to move slow. Like a bear or something. But otherwise I have to move slow.

Like a bear or something. Let's see. What else? Oh yeah. Toaster Woman's mom visited. So we were watching a lot of movies. What'd you watch? We watched what's the Thor movie? Ragnarok. I never saw that.

That was pretty alright. I enjoyed it. We saw Garfield. Oh my god, do you remember Garfield Christmas and Thanksgiving? Nope, I do not. Oh my god. You missed out then. Garfield is classic.

The humor holds up. It's great. I don't know that I believe that. I'm telling you. Just find it online. Listen, you were watching Christmas Claymation. First off, yes. And second off, that's way better than Garfield.

That holds up. Holds up. Garfield also holds up. All right. You might think like, oh, it's Garfield. It's a kid cat. But really, it's not. He dives into the deep problems of society as well as our mental health.

Which are? What are the deep problems of society? Let's see. According to Garfield. The world according to Garf is what we're basically asking. Well, Garfield's a cat, right? So he just wants to eat food. Lasagna.

Yeah, lasagna. And so like in the one Thanksgiving, they put him on a diet. he's like i don't want to go on a diet and then it's him trying to get food the whole episode but odie's got his whistle and whenever he tries to get food he's like and then he's like odie get out of here i'm trying to eat and then by the end of it they just let him eat he's very happy what was the moral of that, you think? What was the takeaway? Well, the other side plot is that John, the owner, goes on a date with the vet for Thanksgiving.

So you got that happening, and she gets very bored. But then the grandma comes over to cook Thanksgiving for him, and she thinks John's cooking it. But really, the grandma cooks it. And then Garfield's just trying to get food the whole time. So did John end up with the vet, or did the vet leave John forever? The vet finds John very annoying, but then she's like, hey, that wasn't too bad. And then it's a constant.

Like, John is like, hey, maybe next time we'll actually get married or something. What? John's always, yeah, he's always, like, really out there. John, you're a little needy, John. Yeah, well, at the one point, they go to the vet and he's like I'm not gonna date you or she's like I'm not gonna date you and he's like, all right Well, I'm gonna hold my breath until you ask me out and then he does it and then he almost passes out And I was like, that's kind of weird

That's the kind of person I would be like no, I'm just gonna call the police Probably should see another vet. It's Garfield. So you're's you're like hey you're right it's Garfield is just like sorry about him he's uh he's dumb it's pretty funny Garfield's just sarcastic and dry he's a good cat I like him I collect all the Garfield comic books I'm sorry can we just like time out for a minute I love that you're like right he's sarcastic and dry and I love him. And that's sort of just, are you the Garfield to my Odie?

Is that what we're finding out? I think so. Wow. I'm definitely a Garfield. I'm definitely an Odie. Maybe I'm more of a normal. Oh yeah, you probably are.

I'm a normal. Yeah. Let's see. And then I just watched a lot of tv stuff went out to eat oh my god i got my chipotle chicken pasta i saw your tweets i was disgusted held up disgusted still held up it did not and it gave me like three meals out of it did not look appetizing i I was not okay with that. You missed out then. You know what? Got some cheesecake. Pretty good. And now tomorrow's New Year's Eve. Well, I guess today will be New Year's Eve. Technically, yeah.

And wowee. We got one more day. Gmart's going to come over and we're just going to watch really bad stuff. That's beautiful. Like Ninja's Fortnite stream. What a solid roast by you. I will not be watching that at all. I don't watch any big YouTube people.

That's my thing. There's very few YouTube and Twitch people I watch. Sure. I don't even watch my friends that much few youtube and twitch people i watch sure i don't even watch my friends that much i'm aware of this but i don't either i talk to them all the time yeah i don't i had this conversation with someone the other day i don't know who it was but someone's like you never like anything that i post or you never like interact and i'm just like because i see you yeah and i'll tell you if i like it and i get the weirdest looks like because i don't interact with you online i don't actually like you but i'm like i talk with you in person

like please note every one of my friends rarely do i the people that i respond to and talk to on the internet are mostly people i never actually see yeah and the people that i do talk to uh most of the time i don't talk to them online because i'm like i'll just tell you that i think that was funny when i see you in person or i like talk to you in chat like i don't need to like everything you do and then i feel obligated if someone starts liking my stuff i feel obligated to give them like a heart every once in a while because i want them to think that i care but at the same time i'm just like i don't i don't want to have to do this this is a lot of commitment this is too much for me

yeah I agree it's like I watch like very few things and I like it that way here's what I watch like sports alright that's my main thing that I watch hold on where's my twitch following

I watch EXBC a lot. Sometimes I'll watch those Twitch streams where they're like, hey, we're playing Inspector Gadget. And I'm like, all right, I'll watch that. I follow a lot of people, but I don't really watch any of them. Yeah, I don't watch many people either. I get it. Yeah. And then on YouTube, I watch some people.

There's one dude, the report of the week. He just does like food reviews of like, this is the report of the week. Today, we'll be reviewing a Big Mac. And I'm like, all right. And I just watch him review the food, but it's kind of funny. Most of what I've watched, if you go back, I'm going to do it right now. I'm going to go look at my YouTube watch history right now just to show you how weird and how little my actual watch history is because i don't um the last thing i watched was 10 unsettling solutions to the fermi paradox

which is about the question of if we're alone in the universe or not and how shit why we haven't contacted another alien race yet and if it means that there aren't aliens if we're alone in the universe or not. And how. Shit dude. Why we haven't contacted another alien race yet. And if it means that there aren't aliens and we're alone. Like that kind of thing. Before that I listened to Tatsuro Yamashita. The entire For You album. Before that I had the Spider-Man Into the Spider-Verse soundtrack on. Before that I had bronze badass Badass Funniest Lines and Savage Insults from Game of Thrones.

Before that, I had Careless Whisper Saxophone Loop 10-Hour Challenge. Before that, I had one of my own videos, because I was doing Fan Friday, and I guess I watched it. Before that was Blood Raven. What's the Three-Eyed Raven's Secret Plan in Game of it. Before that was Blood Raven. What's the three-eyed raven's secret plan

in Game of Thrones? Before that I had The Doom of Valyria. What destroyed Daenerys and Jon's ancestors? Before that I had Game of Thrones Season 8 Dragonstone teaser explained. Before that I had how many pennies to cast a sword? Before that I had Steve Harvey is

stunned amazing comeback in Family Feud. Before that I had Steve Harvey is stunned. Amazing comeback in family feud. Before that I had, uh, boots void, the creepiest place in the universe, which was another one of those like weird space videos. Right. Before that I had most viewed instant karma videos,

2018 best instant justice compilation. Before that I had funniest fast money on family feuds. Then top 10 funniest Family Feud moments, five unexpected Family Feud answers, unforgettable Family Feud answers, 2018's greatest Family Feud moments, right? Ten strange things found frozen in the ice in Antarctica, and then a bunch of, like, experiment glow 1,000 degree metal ball versus, like, 80 things. And that's, like, it keeps scrolling back.

Versus like 80 things And that's like it keeps scrolling back And then eventually I get to More Steve Harvey And then like 12 episodes Of Hell's Kitchen season 14 That's what I watch on the internet People are like did you watch this video Did you see this guy's video

Unless it's Steve Harvey probably not Unless it was Steve Harvey's video probably not Let me Let me show you mine We've got Molly makes classic Caesar salad Unless it was Steve Harris' video. Probably not. Let me show you mine. We've got Molly makes classic Caesar salad. Bon appetit. Carla makes instant pot ribs.

Bon appetit. Maru and Hannah, the cats. That's a good one. Here's some of my own videos, like non-content. Ragnaros are a lie. Bulls game, Bulls highlights, recap, Bulls versus Wizards. I don't want to watch the full game. They're playing bad, so I just watch the highlights.

I'm going to put some up there. Stretches and exercise. We've got our Papa John's free cheese sticks worth selling your soul. I don't even want to buy Papa John's cheese sticks, but the dude reviewed them. You got to watch it. Yeah, I get it. Crab Rave, Cozy Jazz, and Bossa Nova Music fought with Fireplace 24-7 livestream. Oh, that was right there. That was Christmas.

Yeah. Yeah, that's a good Christmas to chill out. Cox and Crandor, Rockin' Baby Jesus. That was a good episode. That's a good one. That's a good one. Fear Factor moments. Oh yeah, someone linked a Fear Factor thing. I was like, wow, this show is bad. Let's point out that

Rockin' Baby Jesus was the last episode. So what you've said so far has just been in the last week. That's how little you've watched. For me, I went back a month's worth of videos that's what I've watched in the last month was what I listed off we don't watch much YouTube when you're on YouTube you don't have time to actually watch YouTube it's just a fact yeah because it's like the only time you watch is like there's like some stuff and you're like I gotta

make a video or I gotta stream or I got other stuff to do in real life or I gotta like you know that's why I appreciate all those people who make real life or I got to like, you know. That's why I appreciate all those people who make reaction videos or people hate them. And I guess they hate them because they like are making cheap content. But I appreciate that. And the people who like are constantly in on drama,

like I don't like those videos. I'll never do that. But I have to appreciate their hustle because they must never get off the internet. Yeah. I can't do it. I can't yeah i can't do it i can't either can't do it i'd rather make less money but have my mental exactly i'd people are like you could be making more if you just did this and this i'm like or instead i could go home and just not

yeah and they look at me like i'm crazy it's one of those things where it's like you could have a million subs well it's like well then what You hit a million subs and you're like hey there it is And then you're like well now what And they're like now you hit two million It's like whatever I don't care I think a lot of people just have that perception That success to them

Is Sort of like It's like when I was keeping up with the Johnsons Or whatever the hell that is where like, yeah, I hung out with a YouTuber had this, this and this, and I want that too.

It's like, yeah. Do you need it though? Like, I feel like a lot of people are just caught up in the grind and the older I get, the less I'm like, I don't give a damn.

I think that's what it is. We're just getting old and there's still a lot of people getting into this and they're all young. They got life life Can I tell Oh my god Speaking of which Speaking of which This

So I had to write this down Let me find this I had to write this down This happened on the 27th I uh Drive into the Starbucks parking lot And it's a

It's a drive-thru Starbucks So I usually go through the drive-thru And then go into the office and work And so I pull in There's a guy-thru Starbucks. So I usually go through the drive-thru and then go into the office and work. And so I pull in. There's a guy in front of me. And there's a pretty long line.

A dude, I'm going to say 23, 24, comes out with like 15 coffees on like a bunch of trays. He puts them on top of his car. Turns. It's this big-ass Range Rover, by the way. Just so you kind of like get the kind of like i'm a 21 year old awesome i think i'm a hot shit kid right right he comes out puts the copies on his car looks at myself and this woman in front of me and as the car in front of her starts to move he steps out in front puts his hand out like, stop. I'm going to back my Range Rover out. You guys wait for me.

And I was like, why can't you wait for us? But the woman in front of me, she was like, okay, I'll do that. And I was like, are you kidding me? What? And so he starts loading all these copies. And meanwhile, all the cars in front of her have now moved up and over. And there's cars behind me, cars going into the street. And she won't move.

Finally, she realizes, this guy's still not in his car. It's been five minutes, and he's still not in his car. He's still putting stuff in his car and fussing around with the outside. So eventually, the woman in front of me just decides to scoot up.

And I, like, drive by him, Luigi-style, just staring at him like, you are an idiot. As I put Everyone of the cars pulled into the the lane to go to the drive-through He had plenty of room to get out He just thought that we would like ruin his day by blocking he didn't like have the concept that we would move out of the way

Like eventually we would move up and there would be no one there blocking him. He just was like, everyone stop. I'm important. I need to back out first. You guys wait. I was just like self-entitled prick. I was that. I hate people like that. I never understand those people because it's like they obviously are aware that there's other people around them.

But in their mind, they're like, it doesn't matter because i'm awesome so they gotta wait well i think it's the idea a lot of people have that they'll they'll wait mentality right like i'm doing a thing you'll wait and it baffles me because it shows a massive disrespect for everyone else but you're like you just don't care about anyone else's time. And I think maybe that's a lack of empathy. I would love to know if that's a sociopath thing. Yeah. Because they say one in – what is it?

One in four? I'm just making up stats now. I don't know. There's a high percentage of people who are sociopaths. It doesn't mean that you're like a psycho killer. It just means that you just don't have empathy for other people and you don't really give a damn about other people and you just live your life like i'm number one and everyone else is a pawn in my game to become number one like that kind of stuff like that god complex guy from

that twitch con yes yeah i think it's always on a scale right it's never just like concrete like there's times where i feel almost sociopathic where I'm like, I didn't care about that thing that happened. But then I also care about other people with other things. So it's like, I don't know. I think it's like various and various points on a spectrum where you're like, hey, you know. Some people can see like a natural disaster happening. Like there's a hurricane in Tahiti and they like start crying and I'm like,

I don't know. Yeah, I think I'm the exact way where I think maybe I have a disconnect between maybe I have mass empathy for like single person. So if I interact with you or I see a single person in trouble, I can like connect to that person and be like, how can I help? What can I do for you? Yeah. But when

it comes to large things, I think maybe the world in which we live in, I see it. I don't, I don't, you're right. When I see people who are like crying their eyes out about something that happened to people thousands of miles away, they don't really know. And I'm just like, I, that's terrible that it happened to them, but I don't feel that, and am I wrong for not feeling that? Or are you over empathetic, like I don't know. And I feel weird about that, because when it comes to a person, I'll be like, yeah, how can I help?

What can I do for you? I, like when people try to get through an aisle in a grocery store, I will move out of the way. I'll move my damn cart, right? I will try to make things easy On others I will try to help other People but yeah when it Comes to big things I'm like

That sucks but okay Like I don't I don't know And maybe I'm just desensitized to shit I don't know it's a weird It's a weird thing to think about It makes you because I've thought that too Where I'm like am I just you know Not that empath It makes you, because I've thought that too, where I'm like, am I just, you know, not that empathetic? But then, like, I'll always do that too.

Like, if somebody's in the way or, like, walking and I'm in the way, I'm just like, oh, I, like, move out of the way. Yeah. If someone's hurt or even if someone is in, like, emotional stress, I'll do whatever I can to help that person out. Even if it means just, like, being there, right? And when it's one-on-one, I'm down. I'm down to help that person out even if it means Just like being there right and When it's one on one I'm Down I'm down to help but for some reason If you bring three people to that party I'm like Cool man that sucks that happened

To you we're gonna go drink Like I don't know why I have no clue I always heard that it's like a thing Or it's like if it's just a big Group it's a statistic but if it's one Person it's like a story Right it's a statistic but if it's one person it's like a story right and i think that's that's how people justified horrible things throughout history

it's like well if you look at them at like this group whatever group as numbers and statistics rather than people you can treat them horribly or yeah yeah Yeah. I think that translates to online, too, when you communicate with a person that you don't see and you don't know. And to them, they're just like a name somewhere else. They're no longer a person, so you can treat them terribly. Well, it's like, especially with the internet, we live in a time where unlike any other time, I think think ever like you're just constantly bombarded with things so it's like stories and people maybe that's it too yeah where you're just like yeah you just like sat in your village and you'd be like old man henry heard there's a kid in a well down there and you're like oh no i hope it's not jim johnson's kid and that was like your problem

of the day yeah there's there's and now it's just you get every problem everywhere all the time there's a fascinating study that basically says that currently at this point in time in history we are are the safest, luckiest we've ever been. We have the longest lifespans. We have the least violence. All these things. It's just statistically proven. It is the safest time to be alive.

However, because of the constant bombardment of negative news, people perceive it as the worst. So they see conflict overseas. They see violence in the streets at home. They see all these different things and they perceive it to be much worse than it actually is.

But that's because in the past, just like you were saying, our information intake was so minimal that we just didn't know. And so at the same time, it also exposes us to things that we didn't really think about. So things like spousal abuse, for example, in the past were things that people did not talk about at all. And now it's a thing where, yes, people are talking about it more and more and more.

And I think that that's one of those examples of now that's in our lexicon of like, oh my God, that's another thing that could happen. And people just that that's one of those examples of now that's in our lexicon of like, Oh my God, that's another thing that could happen. And people just get worried and bombard some of those. And I think some people rather than get worried and anxiety filled and cry instead are like us. We're just like, wow,

that's terrible. That happened to you. Are we going to go get a drink? I think that might be, yeah, I think we might be fallout of just like slow apathy burnout. I don't know know i have no clue it's fascinating shit's crazy dude it's happening fast too fast for me that's why i don't watch the

internet you're right that's why everything i watch on the internet it's like weird or or food related this this reminds me of a conversation i was trying to have while watching the movie um oh what were we watching bandersnatch have you seen that yet no all right i'm not gonna spoil any of it for you go watch slash play it it's fascinating i think modern fmv games are a little bit better but it's it's like a good gateway to learning video gaming fmv style it's kind of like baby's first uh telltale game it's kind of what it's like but at one point during the the game there was a uh scene where he meets a game developer and the game developer guy he is a pretty i think you'll recognize this actor, but he, I'm trying to not spoil this in any way,

he takes him back to his house. And his house is like, or his apartment. His apartment's fairly nice, but it's not like anything fancy. And I had a thought that I tried to explain to everyone in the room, but everyone thought it was crazy. And I want to try to re-explain it to you. And this is exactly how I tried to explain it to them. But they were like, you're just high, man.

You don't know what you're talking about. I was like, guys, this is fascinating. Don't you understand? This is fascinating. Like, you said fascinating 15 times tonight. I was like, because it is. The thought I had was, this guy in the 80s is a video game legend. He is the top of the heap.

And video games at that time, nobody played them really. The market was very small. It was played, but it's nothing like today. That'd be crazy to say. So this guy was the king of his field. And let's say even at his best day, didn't make some of the money that you're seeing today. And how over the course

of the last 20 years, it's built up and built up and built up to the point where there's an industry of people like us who just make money off of playing the video games. Did you ever think

it would get to that? Now that I hear it, I sound crazy. Never mind. Never mind. Now that I hear it, I sound crazy. Never mind. Never mind. Now that I hear it, I do sound crazy. Sound like me. But that was one of those things where I was just like, I sat there and I was like, man, think about this.

If you look back at history, did you ever think that we'd end up like this, man? Where we're playing games and some guy years ago was the best video game maker ever and he made nothing, man. And now we just play them and we can live off that. Think how far we've come. The more I say it, the more I'm definitely like, yeah, no, this is crazy. But it's true, though, right? It's true. I mean, it's true though right it's true i mean it is true it's uh but i mean i'm probably

not the best person because i was always a person who was like yeah this might take off because i like i liked playing video games and i liked watching people play video games so i was like yeah sounds reasonable sure of course so i, I'm like the last person you should ask probably. But again, that's like a thought I'd have. It was a very Crandor thought, yes. Welcome. Welcome to my brain. You are welcome.

Enjoy your stay. I don't even know what we're talking about anymore, to be honest. Oh, that's how Crandor thoughts work, for sure. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I mean, yeah, I'm trying to think of fun things that happened, but I went, oh, my God, I went to my parents' house. We played Clue for Christmas. I'm very good at Clue.

I haven't played Clue in years. I stomped in Clue. I won every single time. The very first time I won, I won the game in five minutes. Wowee. I didn't know you could win that fast.

That's what I'm saying. So for people who are curious, at least according to the rulebook, the way it works is that you put the three cards in a little pouch, put it in the middle, and then you go into a room, and you have to say whatever room it is with a weapon with a person or a person with a weapon, whatever the order is. It doesn't matter. I went to a room.

I said it's this character with this weapon, whatever I had said. Said it's this character with this weapon, whatever I had said. And you're supposed to ask the person to the left of you. And if they have one of those cards, they show it to you. And that's how you get your evidence, right? And if that person doesn't have a card, the next person has to show you. And if that person doesn't have a card, the next person has to show you. So I literally was like, was it this character in here with this? And I go look over, nothing.

Look across from me, nothing. Look at my mom, nothing. In the first five minutes, I literally just solved the case on complete random accident. I was like, I just guessed and this was my like, is it this person? And we didn't know what to do because there's nothing in the instructions so I was like, I guess I win.

And we opened up the deck, or the pack and there was the cards. I was like, oh, okay. And everyone looked at me like, this isn't going to be fun, is it? I was like, no, I'm going to be very good at this. So I spent the rest of the night just beating up on everyone. It was great. Damn. It makes me want to play Clue.

I haven't played Clue in forever. That's what I'm saying. Here's what's crazy They changed Mrs. White to Dr. Orchid Dr. Orchid? Yeah, Mrs. White became Dr. Orchid And I don't know why Maybe because like

Racist stuff But I don't understand I don't understand why Dr. Orchid Yeah, so it's now Dr. Orchid Hashtag not my clue That's what I'm saying But the crazy thing is

They made Dr. Orchid look like Madeline Kahn from the Clue movie I think that's who that is One of the characters now One of the characters now literally looks like The lady from the Clue movie, which is very weird. Wowee. Let's see.

Oh, wow. Look at those new Clues. That's what I'm saying. Also, they have new things in it where when you roll the dice, there's a like clue symbol and there are special clue cards. And those cards change up the game or like the person to your right has to show you one of their cards or you get to do this to this person, things like that. So there's a bonus things in it now too.

Damn dude. Yeah. They've changed it. It was pretty fun. I had a good time. I mostly, cause I won, but I had a good time. Winning's always fun.

It is. That's a great life lesson. There you go, kids. Always win. Mm-hmm. Charlie Sheen learned that one. He did. Right when he got on cocaine.

Aye, aye, aye. I don't know. Yeah, I'm ready for this year to be over. I'm done. Yeah, 2019. I'm ready for it. I'm ready for this year to happen.

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is brush your teeth every single day. Yet most of us don't even do that properly. You're supposed to do it two minutes every time. Some people just get in there and go and they're done. That was a terrible. I don't know. But I guess that's how you brush your teeth in sound. But spit.

Yeah. Spit. but um spit yeah spit but quip is an electric toothbrush created by dentists and designers to not only help you remember how long to brush your teeth for but also help you make brushing kind of enjoyable it's got sensitive sonic vibrations that gently massage your gums because a lot of people spoiler alert don't even know how to like angle their brush properly you're not supposed to go straight on you're supposed to have it at an angle so it hits your teeth and your gums the timer is every 30 seconds it reminds you when to switch sides and you can do left right bottom and then left right top and after two

minutes boom you're done it also comes with automatically delivered brush heads every three months for just five bucks. You don't even have to worry about it. It's incredible. It is a fact that most people don't brush right. It's a fact that most people have old toothbrushes that have worn out bristles that are completely ineffective. And this is why I say to you, you're gonna love Quip because you're gonna see the difference. I'm not even joking.

You're gonna look at your teeth and you'll be like, oh my God, they are whiter. And I didn't even go to the dentist. And you're gonna feel better about yourself. And then when you finally go to the dentist, he or she is gonna be like, have you been taking care of your teeth? And you're gonna be like, why, yes, I have.

And they're actually gonna look at you with pride instead of shame and hate when they usually are like, have you been brushing? And you're like, yes I have. And they know you're lying. Not again Ricky, I can tell you're not flossing. Yeah, they won't. You can go to them proudly now.

So Quip is just $25 if you go to getquip.com slash Crendor. That is getquip.com slash Crendor, that is getquip.com slash Crendor, you get your first refill pack free with the electronic toothbrush. That is G-E-T-Q-U-I-P.com slash Crendor. Also, this is the thing I want to talk about for the longest time. We are sponsored by Calm. Calm is an app that I was like, all right, yeah, I'll check it out. Crandor, have you used this yet? I downloaded it, but I haven't used it yet.

All right, I'm going to tell you right now. Use it. It is so good. So basically, Calm is an app that is about meditation and deep breathing and slowing down your life and being mindful and really taking 10 minutes out of your day. And I guess you could set up however you want because there's stuff to help you sleep, stuff to help you lower your anxiety, stuff to just calm you and make you more centered. It's fascinating. So you load up the app and straight up, I'm just going to do this for you right now because I love this thing. First, it says, take a deep breath.

And then just... On my screen right now is a mountain range with some lovely trees and a moving, flowing river. It is incredible. When you first log in, you sign in and do all this stuff. It basically asks you what you're trying to achieve right it says what do you want to do do you want to be more productive do you want to get some meditation in your life do you want to have um something to help you relax things like that do you have trouble sleeping stuff do you have high anxiety and then you select all these different things and then it

sort of formulates these programs for you and i have, there's a bunch of stuff on here. First off, I have my daily comm, which is this lovely woman comes on. I don't remember her name right now, but she comes on. And she's like, today, we're going to talk about mindfulness. Before we begin, take a few deep breaths. And the music comes on And the noise in the background It's very soothing

And it's like this white noisy kind of stuff Dude I've got crickets on right now You can hear it And it's like you just go And then she just like She's like take a deep breath Either sit there or lay there Or whatever you're doing

And it's not about falling asleep You're literally just being mindful of your body And I'm not even joking. The very first time I did it, I woke up. I was in like, I was in a bad mood. I woke up in a bad mood. Did this. Sat there in my office and just turned it on.

And just, she's like, gravity way down your body. And just focus on your breaths. And I was just gonzo. I messaged every single person I knew that day. It was like, yo, download this app now. It was crazy pants. I felt it. I was in the zone.

It was half ASMR, half feeling your spirituality. I don't even know. I don't even know where I was at. I was feeling breaths in a way. It was amazing. I can't even begin to tell you. This is general excitement from myself to all of you out there. It was incredible.

I loved every minute of it. And with New Year's coming up, it's one of those times where everyone's trying to set goals. And this is that thing where this is a good goal to set for yourself. It's every day just taking 10 minutes out of your time to just be calm and find some inner peace. And man, I dig it. I've used it every single day.

And it keeps a little track and it's like, you did it today. Good used it every single day. And it keeps a little track and it's like, you did it today. Good job. It is incredible. It's the number one. There's a reason why this is true. It's the number one app to help you meditate, sleep, and relax. It prioritizes sleeping and helping you feel more energized and helping you achieve your goals. It's incredible.

helping you feel more energized, and helping you achieve your goals. It's incredible. If you head to calm.com slash cox, you get 25% off a premium subscription. This gives you hundreds of hours of programs, including guided meditations to things like anxiety, stress, focus, building brand new meditation each day called the daily calm, which I've been using. It's a perfect guide to help you just like build this into your life. And I know a lot of people are like meditation, bro. Trust me on this. I can't stress this enough. I've never done meditation before in my life in period jumped on board this thing. And I have not stopped. I love it so much. At night, they have sleep stories, which are bedtime stories for adults

designed to help you relax before you doze off. There's things like Stephen Fry doing a thing or Jerome Flynn from Game of Thrones does a thing. For a limited time, you listening right now can get 25% off of Calm Premium subscription. That's calm.com slash COX slash Cox. And trust me on this. I can't, I need, I need the more,

this is what it's going to take. I know for a fact. Adventurous people out there, try it. Try it right now. Give yourself this gift for the new year and tweet at me. Tweet at me and then tweet at them too so they know But more importantly tweet at me

Because I'm telling you You're going to put this on and just do what it says And you will end up in a better place Calm.com Slash Cox Yeah I just need to stop talking I keep just wanting to talk about it Anyway

Let's end the I keep just wanting to talk about it. Anyway, let's head to chapter 7. Let's go. Hey. It's going pretty good. Chapter 7 is what I was trying to say. Yeah, I assumed. I figured that much. So, yeah, I'm up here.

We're flying around. I'm actually pretty chilled out because I was listening to crickets on my call map. It's pretty nice. It makes it so I'm not even really paying attention to the traffic down there. I'm just kind of looking at the sky, looking at the clouds. You ever just look out there and just see a cloud, but you're in the cloud and you realize that cloud is just, you know, it's just a thing you see, but really it's like you can go right through it and when you think about that isn't that just life back to you thanks crendor that was like a deep thoughts with crendor yeah can we try to make a deep thought like every single episode you just have a deep thought yeah i like that We'll open that as our New Year's resolution. Yeah, New Year's resolution.

2019, every episode starts with a deep thought from Crendor. I like it. I like that too. I think that's a good idea. Yeah. Now, just remember that so we don't forget it next time. I'll probably forget. Yeah, I'll probably forget it too.

That's okay. Anyway, what's happening in weather? Weather. Hey there, Woppy. Let's do a weather. Woppy, I'm going to name it. One, five, two, six, five. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Yo! I don't know. We won today against the Bengals, but I don't know. The Ravens won. Woppy does not care about sports. That's right. That's right. 30 degrees Fahrenheit, 10% chance humidity.

Monday, high, 100% chance rain. High, 52 degrees. Wind southeast to 5, 10 miles per hour. Chance rain, 100% rainfall. Hey, Woppy. Hey, Woppy. Hey, Woppy. Woppy hey woppy woppy what do you care about woppy cares about weather monday night rain early low 43 degrees fahrenheit

alexa around quarter of an inch alexa play has taken out alexa tuesday 48 degrees 20 chance humidity slight chance of rain shower high 48 degrees 10 to 20 mile per hour winds there we go woppy took out alexa yeah those robot wars are getting kind of crazy crazy it's like the cola yeah yeah it's trouble. I don't know what you're going to get out there. All right, let's talk sports. Sports. Ooh, it's a sports.

And it's spicy out there, especially in the NFL football land. Because right now, we're ready for the playoffs. And the Pittsburgh Steelers are not there. I'm aware. And the Packers are also not there The Steelers, mind you, just for the record Were there And one Terrible game last week

Are no longer there Yep, all they had to do was win Last week or you know beat the really bad Raiders They didn't do it no they did not do it and once again being a steelers fan means watching them win when they shouldn't win and watching them lose when they should win and that is the fate believe it or not the cleveland browns finished the season seven eight and one that. I mean, that's not bad.

That's seven wins. That is over the last two years. Again, remind you, they have had one win in two years. This year, seven. What was the Bengals' final? They were 6-10. So the Bengals did worse than the Browns. Yes.

The Browns finished in third place. Ohio fans, let that sink in. Yep. It's a new day. Next year, oh my god. It's a new day. A new era. They're coming back. Next year, the Browns are going undefeated. I'm calling it. Undefeated.

That is a limb I will not go out on with you. So now, the NFL playoff picture is going to be the Chiefs and the patriots with bi-weeks the saints and the rams with bi-weeks uh and the matchups for next week's playoffs are colts playing the texans in houston the chargers go into the baltimore to play the ravens the eagles go into chicago to play the bears and the seahawks go into to Chicago to play the Bears, and the Seahawks going to Dallas to play the Cowboys. Here we go. Which, all are actually pretty good

matchups. I'm excited to watch all these games. So, that should be fun. And then, let's be real, it's probably going to be like the Patriots winning again. I'm not okay with that. I can't handle it. You know what's going to happen. I just don't like the Patriots I hate them so much

Except Patriots fans That one time last year I was like Another Patriots Super Bowl I was just bored of it I don't hate the Patriots I was just bored of the Patriots Some guy on Twitter was like Duh, jealous much?

I was like no I'm just bored of seeing the same team you got me so jealous you don't even understand bro so yeah I'll be happy as long as the Bears lose cause that's the Packer rival Vikings got

knocked out of the playoffs that was very fun I'm also all aboard the Eagles hype train and Nick Foles I think that's going to be a good storyline. So, yeah, that'll be fun. I actually do a football podcast every week, which we've been doing. It's called Three Guys Talk About Football. And it's three guys and we talk about football.

Very fun. That's a solid podcast. Yep. It was pretty much we were all going to play Madden together, and then that kind of fell through, and we only did it once. And then I was like, we always talked about football in the Discord, and I was like, hey, why don't I just do a podcast? And then we just did.

So it's me, Sinvicta, Rob, or Alpaca patrol and then sometimes barry taffy so an lss do are you guys like the next jim rome remember jim rome whatever happened i'm jim rome he's still a thing because sometimes i'll listen to like the radio or see like a tv thing and he pops on and he's like time for my jim rome what's the deal with the Baltimore Ravens they've been playing well but will they play well enough to take out the Patriots in Foxborough I don't know but that's my Jim Rowe take that's accurate yeah all right cool uh yeah he's still a thing great great cool uh and i talk about the other sports but i mean football is going to be over in a few weeks so we'll have the rest of the yeah we ain't talking about the rest of those sports later yeah yeah so yeah here we go we're so condescending on our way to the

super bowl all right well what is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. I'm going to let you pick out of three. Oh, boy. There's Florida woman arrested after committing robbery with toy gun fleeing on tricycle. Are we sure it wasn't just a bunch of children stacked on top of each other? Judging from the picture picture it's possible um there's naked man arrested at planet fitness said he thought it was a judgment-free zone and there is florida man bites his brother's penis

off after he walks in on his brother having sex with his cousin on his favorite dragon ball z blanket that has to be fake that has to be fake i'm pretty sure it's fake. It's also from July. Yeah, that has to be a fake story. Yeah, that's got to be fake. That has too many boxes ticked in Ridiculous to be real. You know how I know it's fake? Because all these news stations never get that type of detail. Right.

Absolutely. They're just like, what blanket were they doing it on? No, they're just like, man, did a thing. We'll get more information soon. And they're like just like, what blanket were they doing it on? Like, no, they're just like, man did a thing, you know, we'll get more information soon. And they're like, well, what happened? Yeah, we've covered the news long enough to know that they don't really do their job. Yeah. It's, uh, there's no way. So, yeah, this, we got, let's see, hold on.

This is actually a really short one. Hold on with the tricycle woman. I like this. Four women's been arrested after robbing a postal worker with a plastic toy gun and fleeing on a tricycle later cristomo 52 of naples was arrested saturday according to the naples daily news while being handcuffed cristomo yelled uh that she was god and that voices were telling her to do things. I mean, of all the cycles, God would ride a tricycle. Father, Son, Holy Ghost. It makes perfect sense.

Oh, my God. It's true. People are acting like she's crazy. Yeah, they're acting like she's crazy, but that makes perfect sense to me. Let's see. let's see then she cristomo stopped at a postal service mail truck stole a single package before fleeing the scene on the tricycle then she also pointed the plastic toy at a jogger she's being charged with felony armed robbery and aggravated assault interesting all right well here we go a Massachusetts man apparently learned

the hard way that a judgment free zone philosophy at Planet Fitness only goes so far police say 34 year old Eric Stagno was walking around naked do we have a photo of Eric Stagno yes you know we do I need to see what this guy looks like because in my mind

he is a you know who he looks like there's only two people either rasputin or um uh oh my god the guy from uh uh oh what's the hell is the name it's on the tip of my tongue What is that guy's name Oh my god I need to figure this out If you look hard enough at this picture It almost looks like you can see his real face Buried within He looks like He looks like Jason Manzoukas

Look up J-A-S-O-N M-A-N-T-Z-O-U-K-A-S He looks like Jason Manzoukas. Oh, yeah, he does. He looks like if Jason Manzoukas lost his job and went homeless and then ended up going to a Planet Fitness naked. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Well, he was walking around naked at the Playstow gym before settling in on the yoga mats. Officers arrived at the Planet Fitness to find him nude on his knees in a yoga-type position. He's just doing yoga. I mean, this sounds more and more like Rasputin, but it also could be James. However, Hillman was arrested without incident and charged with indecent exposure, lewdness, and disorderly conduct. The only statement that he made was that he thought it was a judgment-free zone apparently apparently referencing the chain slogan gym goers who saw stagnos naked exercises reported feeling disgusted sick and unsafe well here's here's my question on a level of like hairy compared to the

rest of the establishment dwellers if this had been say like a really buff hairless man, would they feel as disgusted? Or was it because he's so hairy that they were disgusted? And had it been a woman, based on level of hair, what disgust level would they have? Hell yeah, it would have went down. He may have a case here. Because based on the amount of hair he has I too am disgusted But I feel like that's because I'm judging him For being so damn hairy

I think so too As a man myself who is hairy I would never do that Because I know people would be like that's a lot of butt hair That's what I'm saying Hey hashtag same All we're saying is know your place in society. If you're a hairy dude, either shave it off.

People don't want to see hair. They want everyone to be like a baby's butt. Naked babies, no one has a problem with. Never. Not a problem. You know why? Cute butts. Cute hairless butts.

This guy had a cute hairless butt. I feel like there would be less of a problem. Damn. Yep. That has to be somebody who's like, there's always somebody who likes hair. Yeah, well. It's true. Yeah, but you don't like it at the gym.

Yeah. There's a lot. There's many perfect places for hair. The gym and a drain is not one of them. Damn, dude. And he's right. He got judged. He did get judged.

I've judged him. Right now, I think we both judged him. It's a judgment-free zone there. He's right. He got judged. Yeah. Honestly, I think he's got a case. I think he has a case, too.

And I think we're going to find out that he's going to take him all the way to the bank. And if he doesn't win his case, he'll cast some, like, Russian evil spell on them. Because this guy is definitely a rat mutant. Oh, yeah. No doubt. Yeah. No doubter. All right.

Well, that's it for us. Thank you so much for listening or watching or whatever you're doing while you're enjoying this. Crandor, hit up with the socials. We've got so many socials. We've got SoundCloud.com slash Cox and Crandor. We've got YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor for animations. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast. All one word if you want to see them on YouTube.

We've got iTunes. We've got Spotify. We've got our own YouTube channels. Just search Jesse Cox or Crandor in Google. You'll find all our stuff uh please watch this podcast watch all the previous podcasts go back listen to our first ever podcast make a playlist listen to all of them on repeat repeat them every time you run out of episodes uh i don't know i mean yeah. We'll just keep singing. Repeat them.

Repeat them. Repeat them. Repeat them. Repeat them. And, hey, have a good rest of the year, y'all. Hopefully 2019 will be awesome. Hopefully good rest of your 2018. And if you're listening to this in 2019, it better be going good so far. You better not have screwed up already.

You better not have did it. Better not have did it. Anyway, that's it. Thank you so much. And as always, to be continued.