Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 181 - Crab Rave

Episode Date: January 28, 2019

The boys return with a weeks worth of nonsense. This time the boys delve deep into the murky waters of the cinematic masterpiece "Sharks Tale", as well as help Crendor learn state capitols! Also Jesse can't believe Kirsten Stewart arrested a man in Walmart. All this and more, on this exciting episode of Cox n' Crendor! Get 15% off your first pair at http://meundies.com/crendor Get your first refill pack free at http://getquip.com/crendor

Today's episode is brought to you by Quip. Quip is going to change your brushing habits forever. Get your tooth, your tooth, the one tooth you have left. Get it extra sparkly. We will talk about that today, but also me undies. This episode is brought to you by the sweetest underoos you're going to put on your bod. I love them. Everyone who has bought them has loved them.

We hear from you guys all the time bought them has loved them. We hear from you guys all the time. Thank you so much. We'll talk about that too. Let's get into this thing. Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-hour recording studio. Recorded. Hello everybody and welcome back to another exciting episode of Cox and Crendo in the

morning. Hello everyone, Sickdor is here. Oh, are you, did you get the diseases? I got them. They're in me right now. Which ones? What do you have? I just have a cold.

It's not even a bad cold, like I got it yesterday, I was like, I'm feeling kinda achy, and then I was like, oh my nose is congested, and now it's just kinda achy with congestion, but like, I'm already at the part where like I got like the yellow mucus, which means it's like towards the end. So I guess just like a 3-4 day cold. You sound the exact same. When I'm sick I'm like, like, the yellow mucus, which means it's, like, towards the end. So I guess just, like, a three, four day cold. You sound the exact same. When I'm sick, I'm like... Well, that's my secret.

My nose is always congested. You're like the Incredible Hulk of nose congestion. I really am. Wow, I'm impressed. I've just kind of been eating chicken soup. Actually, I got some, like, what was it? Garlic buffalo wings, because I wanted to of been eating chicken soup. Actually, we got some like, what was it? Garlic buffalo wings. Because I wanted to open my nose a bit.

Whoa. It was actually pretty good. It actually helped. I think it helped my thing. And then it was pretty good. And then what else did I do? And then I just kind of sat around, watched a movie. Oh, what'd you watch? What movie? I wanted? And then I just kind of sat around, watched a movie. Oh, what'd you watch?

What movie? I wanted like a cozy movie, so we watched Aristocats, because it's like an old-timey Disney. Right, right. The Aristocats. Yeah, and then they just got all the things. He's like, I'm old Mally. You're right. I'm a cat.

Yeah. Boy, you lead an exciting life and then uh you know he took my nyquil and then i passed out and i woke up today wow that is i mean by the way yeah uh nyquil what an amazing invention yo there's a thing that exists called z-quil it's the the same thing. It just knocks you out. That's what I bought when I visited you that one time. Oh, yeah. That's nice. I'm telling you. I feel like I shouldn't want to take it as much as I do,

but every time I'm like, what if I just took Z-Quil instead, and then I just don't have any? But I keep thinking I should go buy some because I kind of like the idea of just immediately falling asleep. That's the thing. I don't want to have to be like addicted to drugs in order to sleep i feel like that's if that's if that's we have to do that's a problem i don't want that people that they're just like i want that and then they just can't sleep and then they just don't sleep it's like

i'd rather just sleep yeah i'm good that's like uh the time i visited you i was like i don't know if i can fall asleep unlike uh with like these wacky hours on the Pacific coast. I'm like two hours ahead. So I bought that Z-Quil. Bam. Knocked out in like 10 minutes. So yeah, great invention. So whoever, the Quil products deserves like a Nobel Prize.

Whoever's out there making these Quils, thank you. Thank you very much. Yeah, and then today, it's kind of a little better, but at least it's not like a week-long sickness, just going to be like a few days or something. Sure, I get that. I'll take a cold over the flu any day. Man, I don't remember the

last time I was really, really sick. Knock on all the wood was last year when I had bronchitis. That sucked. Yeah, you've had bronchitis like three times. I had it two years in a row, roughly the same time. And I think it's because, I guess it's a virus, question mark?

And so I guess it was a reoccurring thing. I have no clue. I don't know if it was because I traveled so much, but I got it twice and it sucked. Thankfully, since then I haven't been sick. Well, I was sick recently because of a friend's lovely baby. I'll just say babies are germ factories. And I wasn't like sick, sick though. My nose was just stuffed up.

But everything else was fine I could do everything Except I just sounded like Which sucks when that's your job Is to sound like a person who knows what they're doing I never know what I'm doing Yeah which is why you sound the exact same Sick and not sick It's very true

The thing is I tweeted this Alright let me read you my tweet Okay I think it was a pretty Yeah. The thing is, I tweeted this. All right, let me read you my tweet. Okay. I think it's a pretty deep tweet here for my deep thought of the day. I always enjoy being sick because it makes me appreciate not being sick, but I also hate being sick. This is my TED Talk. I feel like that's deep. It's also one of those things like you don't know how to appreciate the good without the bad.

Or, you know, like one of those sayings like even in the darkest hours, there will be light. Right? Like that kind of BS. I think that you are basically saying you like being sick because you appreciate not being sick because of being sick. Exactly, but you don't want to go through being sick. Yeah, you don't want to be sick, but when you are sick, you enjoy the process of getting better. It builds character. It really does.

It really does. It's like any of those movies, right? It really does. It really does. It's like any of those movies, right? Like if Frodo just walked to the thing and threw the ring in the fire, that was it. It's like, all right, well, cool. But it's the ups and downs.

It's the adventure, the travel. It's the down and the ups and the roller coasters. Is that what you got out of Lord of the Rings? They saw a bunch of beautiful sights? Okay. So they always say it's about the journey not the destination but i mean the destination is pretty great right well it depends depends on what it depends on what your destination is well that's true yeah well if your destination is like dumbledore or something don't wait what the destination is the character dumbledore well you know spoiler alert

he dies oh you mean what happens to dumbledore yeah that's what i'm saying i think he would say to you the journey was him helping harry and hence it was the journey not the destination uh oh well i think that's what he would tell you is he'd be like yeah i i my destination was crappy but it was the journey along the way that changed so many lives well thing is like i think once you get to your destination then there's like nothing to do so you gotta start another journey it's like what if you want to buy a new car and then your journey is you work hard to get that car then you then you get it, and you're like, nice, I can drive around in my car, and then you're like, now

what do I do? I think that's the whole, that's life, man. You gotta be like, now what? Now that I've done the thing that I set out to do, what do I do now that I've achieved it? So life's just a bunch of journeys, man. But the destinations are still nice. Sometimes. Yeah, man. Destinations

are just places, man. Places on the nice. Sometimes. Yeah, man. Destinations are just places, man. Places on the journey. Whoa. Really? Really? A whoa? Listen, I don't know. You're right.

You're sick. You don't know what you're talking about. I'm halfway gone already. I'm just like, who am I at this point? That's a great question. Great question. like, who am I at this point? That's a great question. Really, who am I? By the way, great Jackie Chan movie as well.

Oh. It's got a great ending to it. It's Jackie's on a roof fighting a dude who only uses his feet and another dude who only uses his hands. What the shit? Yeah, and he does like a two-way fight, but one guy is like a French dude and he only uses his feet. And then there's like an Asian dude who only uses his hands. What the shit? Yeah, and he does like a two-way fight, but one guy is like a French dude, and he only uses his feet, and then there's like an Asian dude who only uses

his hands, and they're like the villains, and it's great, and they fight him, and it's so silly. It's like, if the two of you just used your other limbs, you could end this fight rather quickly. But they won't do it. What did you do this week? What did I do?

Oh my god, my computer is dying and I don't know what's wrong with it. So I have to drive to another part of LA to drop it off to get repaired. Ooh. It keeps blue screening for reasons I don't understand. I'll just be maybe rendering a thing, blue screen.

Editing a video, blue screen. Playing a game, blue screen. Writing an email, blue screen. One time, I was playing World of Warcraft in a video, blue screen, playing a game, blue screen, writing an email, blue screen. One time, I was playing World of Warcraft in a raid, blue screen. Couldn't tell you what's going on. I have run every, the last month, I've pulled parts out and tested everything one at a time. I've done, cannot figure it out. It sucks. So I called up these guys and was like, look, I bought this computer back at the end of November.

It is giving me nothing but trouble. This is BS. I'm like, there's nothing really we can do to help you, sir. I was like, you can fix it and look at it. They're like, okay, well, have you tried? I was like, I've tried everything. I've literally tried everything. No, just take it back and repair it.

And they're like, okay, well, we could send you a box that you then ship it back to us. And it'll take about three to four weeks. I was like, nope, nope. You are in LA. Let's get this done now. Like, well, you could drive it to us. I was like, okay, where do I got to go? They gave me the address.

And tomorrow morning at like 7 a.m., I'm driving to this damn place to make it happen. Well, that's... Yeah, it's getting done. It's getting done. That's your journey. Yeah, the destination is dumb. The journey involves me driving all over this city, hopefully before rush hour traffic starts.

Yeah, that's... Fingers crossed. That's going to be fun. It will not. It will not be fun. we're supposed to get like a bunch more snow it's like super snowing out here it's supposed to be like negative 15 on tuesday or something like what the shit dude but here's the thing the cold again makes you appreciate that spring and summer you're like wow yeah no i don't have that i'm i'm chock full of

warm today it was like 70 degrees i mean i don't have that. I'm I'm chock-full of warm today. It was like 70 degrees I mean, I don't mind the cold. It's when it gets to like negative 15 that I'm like, all right, you know I don't I don't think I want this that's only for like a week out of the year. So I don't really care I'm like heat spoiled Yeah, like it's perfect weather all the time That's like where I go that in LA and you just see all the things outside Like everyone's got chairs and shit set up. I'm like, what if it, like, rains?

And I'm like, oh, yeah. Nothing happens here. It doesn't rain. It doesn't rain. It rained for about five days this month in a row. Pretty impressive. Everyone was like, wow, so much rain. And then it stopped.

And we won't see rain for another, I don't know, maybe six, seven months. Very fun. Very fun. I like rain too much. Rain's great. I just, you know, I appreciate not. Weather, when you don't have it, it's great. I'm just letting you know.

Not having weather is fantastic. You never have to plan for the day. You just put on what you're going to put on and just go. Yeah. I mean, is it that hard to plan for weather? No, but I don't, you know, it takes like a good three, four minutes. I don't got time for that. Yeah, but I feel like, well, I don't think it takes that long.

It probably takes like one minute. Well, maybe for you. But for me, you know, I got to look outside, and I got to figure out if it's going to be that way the rest of the day or just for the morning. You know, it's a whole thing. It takes four minutes? I mean, I'm slow.

To me, an intellectual, it only takes 20 seconds. You look outside, you're like, ah, an umbrella. I shall take it. It looks like a sweatpants kind of day Like yeah You only have like the one clothes Do I wear my sweatpants or Do I wear my yoga pants I have various sweatpants

That I wear But then in summer I go to shorts Right but then the cold Hits and you go back to sweatpants Do you have jean shorts do you have jorts jorts I don't have jorts what kind of shorts you have I just have like basketball shorts or like athletic shorts cuz they're like kind of they have your logo on them do they have a creme d'or on them I don't think I've made shorts I think you should make shorts maybe I should Maybe I should. Maybe I should make shorts. Cren shorts. Oh my god. Cren short.

Uh, uh, cren, crort. Crorts? Crorts. It's like crocs, but crorts. Yeah, crorts. Oh my god, they're made out of the crocs material. That is a terrible idea.

That's a genuinely awful idea. Why do people like crocs? You want to have sweaty balls here why do people like crocs so much like are they super comfortable i don't know i've never had crocs on my feet i haven't been either like everybody that wears crocs seems like they love crocs but i don't i don't know they just look like people make fun of crocs it's because they're so comfortable it's like when people make fun of sweatpants and you're like yeah but they're comfortable it's almost sweatpants have almost become like the style

like the now all the bro dudes will like wear them to the gym and like take their instagram things like yo bro and then all the girls do it too or they're just like in my casual sweats today so like now that's become a thing but like Crocs aren't fashionable yet like they're still they're still getting there but people still wear what is maybe maybe I can just google that like what it what there's gotta be something I can ask maybe I should ask what's the deal with Crocs somebody's gotta know what's the big deal about Crocs? On the Disney discussion board? What? Why do people like Crocs?

People say that they're ugly. They're super ugly. That's why people don't want them. But this guy says, oh, yeah, they're ugly, but I'm on my feet 13 hours a day at work, and they're so comfortable. Huh. Interesting. Everyone's saying they're so comfortable. Huh. Interesting. Everyone's saying they're super comfortable.

To me, the big deal is comfort. They're very, very comfortable. This guy says, I don't know why they're popular. Maybe because they're cheap, but they're also very comfortable for being plastic shoes. They're plastic? Yeah. Wait, how are plastic shoes comfortable? That just seems so weird.

Maybe I should go try on some Crocs. Maybe that'll be my mission for the week. I'm going to go try on some Crocs. Is the Crocs brand going out of business soon? I don't know. They're still going. 60% off select boots and fuzz Crocs. Shop men's Crocs, women's Crocs, classic Crocs women's crocs classic crocs the crocs brand

isn't going anywhere according to this article yeah they're not going anywhere dude look at this classic clog croc they have so many colors what the shit there's so many crocs that's a lot of reasons why you need crocs in your life here we go all right one they go with everything. Uh, sure. Sure, I guess. Two, they're extremely comfortable. Three, color range, fantastic. Four, they come with their own accessories. Okay. They're called gibbets, and you can pin them on your Crocs.

What? Yeah. You can pin gibbets on your Crocs? You can pin gibbets? I've been pinning gibbets on my Crocs for years. I don't understand what the problem is. They'll be your best friends in college. I think if I was going to say anything, I'd say get, like, the cheapo Crocs, wear them in the shower. If you're in college, that's probably a smart thing to do.

Yeah, that's probably a good thing. You don't want your feet touching that ground. The shower in college college that is gross six they can be worn all year round seven you don't have to be an adult to wear them this is this is dumb eight they're unisex nine they give back to the community and ten they can be worn in water like i was saying huh that's a really terrible list. Who's that? The Odyssey Online. That's a very bad list. That was an awful list. That's like, let me tell you the

top 10 reasons you need to eat food. Number one, it tastes good. Number two, it's edible. Number three, it will make your body feel good. Like it's just doing generic things like that. Okay, here we go. Post Malone designed a pair of Crocs

and they sold out in 10 minutes and on his Crocs he has the Dingle Dangles, whatever the hell those things are called. Ah, the old Dingle Dangles. You know, the things I just read from the previous one that I already forgot because I hated that article. Hold on, I'm going back. I'm going to find out. Gibbets, yeah.

He made gibbets for his own Crocs. Interesting. Yep. This is going to be one of those things where, like, once more, well, I guess they're kind of popular, but, like, as more and more people wear Crocs, they'll just become, like, the fashionable thing to do. Like, even if they are ugly. It's like... I mean, I guess it depends on what the Crocs are and how they, you know.

Sure, the general concept of what a boring-ass Croc looks like, it's pretty ugly. It's an ugly plastic shoe. But as you start to go through them, you can see some that are not bad-looking. Wait, what the? They have so many shoes. That's what I'm saying. There's some Crocs

that are not terrible looking Crocs. They got flip-flop Crocs. They got sandal Crocs. They got shoes. They got heels. They got loafers, sneakers, boots, and flats. What the shit? They even have high-rise Crocs with, like, spikes on them.

Huh. Crocs with like spikes on them Huh Well Shit dude I mean yeah they're not the best looking shoe Just fact They're not great looking But For the purpose it's like a lounge shoe Yeah

Like these are the type of shoes you're probably gonna wear like You know around your yard or your house or to get the mail or something like that. Go to the store for like five minutes. You gotta run the Target. I mean, come on. Wu-Tang Clan just released lipstick.

I feel like it doesn't matter. The Wu-Tang Clan has lipstick! Huh. Why? They have limited edition makeup. Why? Cause Wu-Tang Clan has lipstick. Huh. Why? They have limited edition makeup. Why? Because the Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothing to fuck with. All right, fair enough. Wow.

That's for all the fans out there. I got you. The Wu-Tang Clan. The RZA, the ShZA, you know. Well, I didn't expect to look into cracks today, but that's the beauty of the show. Neither did I. I did not expect that this is where we get to. But here we are, alas.

Alas, here we are. See anything else happen this week? Let's see. Oh, yeah. When I was out walking like last weekend before I was sick or whatever, I walked past these two girls and they were having a debate and the one just kept being like is it shark tales or finding nemo which is better whoa it was like a heated debate and i was like what is shark tales

and uh great shark tales is a 2004 comedy animation. 6 out of 10 IMDB. Shark Tales. We're probably finding Nemo then if no one knows what Shark Tales is. It's like the off-brand version, like the Aldi brand. Whoa, Shark Tales. Oh, is this the one where he's a vegetarian? Is it? Who's in this movie? Will Smith plays the sassy fish, and Jack Black is the shark who's like,

I don't want to eat meat. I think that's the point. And Robert De Niro's in this? The sharks are all like mafia sharks, if I'm not mistaken. Daisy, Angelina Jolie, Renee Zellweger. Huh. I don't know that. You think that's what it is it looks like i think it's i think it's supposed to be like mafioso all the sharks are like hey what mafia sharks maybe it isn't about him being a vegetarian i don't know i don't think it matters i don't think it matters oscar will smith a lowly tongue scrubber at the local whale

wash becomes an improbable hero and he tells a great white lie to keep his secret oscar teams up with an outcast vegetarian shark lenny hey there we go there it is and the two become the most unlikely of friends when his lie begins to unravel it's up to oscar's loyal friend angie renee and lenny to help him stand up to the most feared shark in the water robert de niro and find his true place in the reef huh yeah yeah so that's what the movie's about it's got yeah it's got 12 five star reviews on walmart.com i believe that i believe that uh let's see what we got here uh love this movie and shipping was fast as advertised granddaughter loves it my seven-year-old son loves watching this movie it was five dollars at walmart my grandchildren want to watch it oh

we and over oh we and over oh we and over i got exactly what i ordered in very good condition they enjoyed this movie a great movie for those rainy days an absolute funny movie a good family movie that can bring laughter and joy a good funny movie my son likes it some of these are just like i like I like the ones that are... I'm on Amazon, and it's... I was impressed with how quickly I received this product. I had the product within three days. I did not have Prime, so the time was impressive.

This is a fantastic movie for all ages to enjoy. Popular stars like Will Smith and Angelina Jolie are present voices in Shark Tale. Those cannot be real movies. There's a lot of colors and animations for kids to enjoy. And laughs for teens and adults to enjoy as well. Who wrote this? Will Smith, did you write this?

I sure enjoyed the laugh and the colorful animations that popped on my visual experience. Like, that's neat. I love this one. It's four stars. It just says, okay. All right. Yeah. Here we go.

Six. This is a one star review. Watch six minutes because it was the wrong movie. Watch six minutes because it was the wrong movie and still had to pay and didn't get to watch the right one. See, I hate when this is, because you're like, you're not rating the movie. You're rating the website. I'm going to go to three star.

I want the honesty. Yeah. Oh, here we go. Three star. My two-year-old was mildly impressed. My son responds to pretty much anything with sea creatures. This movie was okay and has some great vocal talent but my son couldn't get into it it's a little mature for a two-year-old i probably need to manage my expectations but i didn't find it very compelling either again good not great this one just says a little bit of will smith

goes a long way that is real true that's true very true that's very true after i watched that earth movie or whatever on the plane with Will Smith that one time I used up like my four-year Will Smith card So yep, I'm gonna watch this for a while. The Cinemastic masterpiece of a lifetime. Oh boy Shark Tale is the best movie I've ever seen in my 43 years of life seen in my 43 years of life. This is fake. This is fake. It has to be. That's gotta be fake.

This movie had some daddy characters, as the kids like to say. There was even eye candy. Fake. This is fake. Yeah, that's a fake one. This guy said, it's just like the movie Shriek, but with sharks and other sea creatures. I think he means Shrek. Just like the movie Shriek.

I just keep picturing, like, a Shrek, but, like, the off-brand Shrek. Where he's like, hello, it's me Shrieking Donkey. And he's like, Donkey. This review says, look for the shrimp. He's the best part. Surprisingly good. Glad I didn't listen to those cynical reviews. The shrimp is the best.

What's so good about the shrimp? Yeah. I don't understand this review, but I still love you. My kids weren't into it as I thought they would be, but I still love you. What?

What does that review, what does that mean? She's saying she loves her kids, but the movie wasn't good? My kids are kind of assholes, but I still love them. Hall of, what does this even mean? A Hall of Fame Top 500 Reviewer Vine Voice.

Is that a description of the person? Yeah, this guy's in the Hall of Fame Top 500 Reviewers. Like, does he just get sent stuff and he just reviews them i don't know robert moore from little rock arkansas 4034 amazon reviews damn damn that guy just buys too much but he's like he's got to get stuff sent to him, right? Wait, Vine customer review of free product. He just gets a bunch of free products and reviews them. Yeah, what an idiot. What an idiot.

It's not like he's getting crazy stuff. Like, he got Babbel, learn a language, 24-month subscription for iOS. He got Energizer Vision HD rechargeable flashlight. He got Grandma's Choice Baking Vanilla natural and artificial flavor. I love to use vanilla in baking and cooking. I love homemade chocolate chip cookies, but for me, adding extra vanilla makes all the difference.

I also love to make chocolate oatmeal cookies and fudge brownies. And in all instances, vanilla adds so much for pretty much all of my life i've been using mccormick vanilla only because that's what i've found in the grocery store i'm not good at describing the differences between smells and taste but this does have a slightly different odor and taste from what i'm used to not bad not better just different cool wow that is an incredibly unhelpful review yeah it is different than what I'm used to I can't describe it to you the end yeah it's not

great it's not bad but it's okay yeah probably worth it five stars it's totally okay I can't describe it to you. It's not good or bad. It's like when you have a survey, and it says, on a scale of one to five, how would you rate our performance? And there's one, terrible. Two, unsatisfactory. And then on the other side, there's five, excellent. Four, good. And right in the middle, that's like, no opinion.

Three is always. And most of the time, I just press three because I know it's the most annoying. i know to them they're like this does not help us at all yeah what's like yelp reviews fools like yelp reviews it's like the same thing or it's like three stars it's like it's okay four stars it's usually pretty good but like so many people are just like one star and they're like i didn't get my french fries on time it's like that's not a one star like that would be like if they brought out the french fries they're covered in mold or some shit i mean i'm sure that's happened it probably has oh my god do you see the hot wing thing with gordon ramsay no what you gotta watch it it's on youtube go test later on type in gordon in Gordon Ramsay hot wings and it's 30 minutes of Gordon Ramsay eating

hot wings. It's great. Amazing. Amazing. And he just keeps asking him questions about his life and stuff and he's just like, it's bloody hot. It's great. These wings are bloody hot, you donkey.

I highly recommend it. Highly recommend. You know, Crendor, while we're talking about food, one of the things you've got to do if you're going to be eating, what a weird transition, one of the things you've got to do if you're going to eat is brush your teeth. That's a fact. Very true, very true.

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Okay. Slash Crendor. That's me. What are you doing? I'm just slowing it down for everybody. Gotcha. People who didn't get it the first two times. Right, right.

Yeah, that's MeUndies.comcom i'll wait for you to type it in okay slash crendor crendor nice yes very nice yes all right crendor what is good chapter copter what is the chapter copter seven how's that traffic out there what is the chapter copter up here i don't even know it's a chopper it's a copter it's? I don't even know it's a chopper. It's a copter. It's a car. It's a boat It's a pretty much everything. It's like a gadget mobile It'll get the job done. That's for sure Right now we're flying over even more snow more cold It is crazy out there. So hey just start like packing the snow against your house for some insulation. That should work, right?

I don't know if that works or not I'll probably get water in in your basement or something but hey i didn't tell you to do it uh my lawyers told me to say that also uh hey it looks like it's warm in california i can see with my binoculars so uh still terrible traffic and a lot of pollution so if you're out there don't breathe the air back Back to you. Thanks, Crendor. Now let's go over to Crendor at the weather desk. Crendor, how's that weather? Weather is cold, snow, blizzard warnings.

This one's called Winter Storm Jaden. Jaden? Jaden Smith? Yeah, whoa, what? Oh, my God. Conspiracy. So, yeah, after just getting a super storm like last week, now we got another one coming. Especially for the northeast who's going to get, again, like a crazy amount of snow.

Let's go. I don't know. What's up there? You know what? I'm just going to. What is this? Maine? Let's go to Maine.

Maine. Maine, New York? No. Where's like Maine, Maine? Maine? Let's go to Maine. Maine. Maine, New York? No. Where's like Maine, Maine? Maine? What's the place in Maine? What are you looking for? Let's see. What's the capital of Maine? Crendor. Crendor.

What? It is not what you think. It's not Portland, Maine? There's a Portland, Maine. There's a Portland, Maine. There's a Portland, Oregon, and a Portland, Maine. It's not Bangor. Oh, is it New Brunswick? Or is it just Brunswick? What? The capital of Maine is Augusta. Augusta? Yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah. I thought it was Brunswick. What the hell? I didn't even know there was a Brunswick, Maine. You literally brought up a city that I didn't even know was in Maine. I typed in Augusta. There's Augusta, Arkansas, Illinois, Georgia, Kentucky, Kansas, Maine, Michigan, Montana, Missouri, and New Jersey. Yeah, well, Augusta, Maine is the capital of Maine.

Why is it the capital? I feel like Brunswick would be a better capital. That's just me, though. Yeah. Let's see. Augusta, Maine. Tonight, 15 degrees. 90% chance of snow. 90%?

That's just like, it's gonna snow, y'all. Yeah, it's gonna snow. Let's see how much snow it's gonna snow. Oh, I guess it's only gonna snow let's see how much snow it's gonna snow um oh i guess it's only gonna snow like a little bit tonight but then tomorrow 20 degrees monday night two degrees and then tuesday 21 degrees with more snow five to eight inches uh so that's gonna hit them pretty hard and pile on even more snow. I think we're only getting like three to six inches. So, I mean, take that, Maine.

They got extra like two inches over there. Take that, Maine. Take that, Maine. Yeah, Maine's like right by Canada, right? Yes. You can't not know that You can't not know that Way northeast up there Yeah actually

It's more near Quebec Oh yeah There's Boston Oh it's right there by Boston What do you know Listen all these like East coast states they're all like jammed together I don't know any of these What do you mean listen all these like East Coast states? They're all like jammed together. I don't know any of these

That's like you don't know them. I know them, but I don't know where they are what state is directly beneath Maine I have no idea literally just guess Massachusetts. Okay. What do you think's below that uh? Like Connecticut or something okay? Yeah yeah. Wait, I'm right? No. Oh. I mean, you're right about Connecticut being beneath Massachusetts. That's correct. Oh, okay. But between Maine and Massachusetts, what is there?

There's two states in between. I don't know. What else is up there? Well, I guess technically one if you drive in a certain direction. No, Rhode Island is south of Massachusetts. There's literally two. One of them is very important during election season. They have a primary.

Is it Vermont? No, New Hampshire. New Hampshire. That's what I mean. All these states, they're like the same thing. They're like the same place but with different names. I swear. It's like in the Midwest, all right?

You got like wisconsin minnesota indiana it's just big ass like chunks of land and then it keeps it going like that when you go west because no one lives there that's because relative to size very few people live in those places well that's what i'm saying the east coast everything's so jumbled together it's like how are you supposed to remember it all unless you live there i mean probably through class there's probably a class i'm gonna taught you this here's the thing i did learn this in school and i passed the tests and i remember very small glimpses of those things uh listen that's what the internet's for, right?

I'm like, where is this? You type it in, you're good to go, right? There you go. Okay, let me just see if you can guess these things. Okay. What is the capital of Arkansas? All right, we'll come back to it. We'll come back to it.

Okay. You know what? We'll come back to it. Okay, okay. You know what? We'll start from where you are, the capital of Illinois. That's Springfield. I got that one. All right, very nice. Okay, capital of Wisconsin. I think it's Madison.

Yep, you're doing good. There you go. So you know your general area. Yeah, I know my area. You can get around your general area. Capital of Indiana. Oh, God. Indianapolis?

Yes, very good. That's the only thing they got there. Yeah, it really is. Capital of Indiana. Oh, God. Indianapolis? Yes. Very good. That's the only thing they got there. Yeah, it really is. Capital of Michigan. I don't think it's Detroit. It's not Detroit. It's, uh, shit.

Is it a? Starts with an L. Oh, God. Lansing. Yes. Okay. See, you know these. I got it. Capital of Ohio. Uh,ansing. Yes. Okay. See, you know these. I got it. Capital of Ohio.

Columbus. Yep. Yep. Capital of Minnesota. St. Paul. Capital of Iowa. Des Moines. Yes.

Capital of Missouri. God. Is it St. Louis? There's no way you're no way it is no it's not st. Louis there's no way you're getting this there's no way I don't believe it Branson no no no Jefferson City oh I ever since the Missouri no okay look at that you did very good you start to fall apart The further away we got From where you actually live But like

I feel like that's most people Like I know all that And then most people On the east coast Are like Crap they're so stupid How do you not know Vermont

And then if I ask them About the midwest They'll be like I don't know There's no way you know About like What Like

North Dakota The capital of North Dakota Is Bismarck that's an easy one i definitely know that yeah but you're a history teacher no yeah but capitals and states have nothing to do with the history it's history they got they like that's the main it's currently happening that's not history it's currently happening it was marked as a capital in the past making it history i guess you're right. Give me another one. This is easy. I can do this.

Let's move it to Chicago. It's got millions of people in it. Well, because Chicago probably wasn't a big city when Springfield was the capital. That's what I'm saying. So it's history. Let's just move it. Oh my god. Give me another state.

This is easy. Let's go, Tennessee, Tennessee is Nashville I believe State capitals Bring it on. All right, let's bring it on. All right, I'll test you out Was it Nashville? Hold on, Tennessee. I'm pretty sure it's, yeah, it's Nashville. South Dakota.

South, Pierre. All right, you got it. Oklahoma. Oh, my God. Oh, Oklahoma City. That's easy. Damn. North Carolina Columbia South

Raleigh, North Carolina Montana Oh my god Helena Helena Helena one of the two yes how about

New Jersey I almost forgot Montana Trenton I believe is New Jersey yeah New Mexico Santa Fe yes Montana. Trenton, I believe, is New Jersey. New Mexico. Santa Fe? Yes. Louisiana.

Oh, Baton Rouge. Let's hit them with Kansas. Oh, my God. Kansas is... Oh, no. Kansas is... Oh, Topeka. Yes, I always think of the Pokemon.

Yeah. Topeka. All right, all right. How about hit them with the old Alaska? Anchorage? It's Juno. Whoa! There it is, I got him. Defeated!

Defeated! Finally. Oh, ruined. Done. Yeah. You don't even know your capitals. You're done. Juno.

That's like the person who criticized, like, you write you write out this big thing and spell like one word wrong And they're like nice spelling mistake idiot Your whole thing is invalid I tried I tried and failed oh Anchorage It's Juno Juno is it cuz Juno is like way south I Think that's probably like the first place they got. Yeah, that's super south down there. I always remember that Juneau is basically Canada, and I keep forgetting that.

Yeah, it's not even attached to what you think is Alaska. Yeah, yeah. I always forget about Alaska. Sorry, Alaska listeners. I forget about your state sometimes. Dang. Not that it exists, but the details. Yeah.

And that's the weather. All right. Sports. Sports. Hey, welcome to the sports desk. Today we're going to be talking about sports. Super Bowl's a week away. And it's the Patriots again.

Who thought? Not too thrilled. Yeah, not thrilled about it. Pretty much everybody wants the Rams except Saints fans. And... Yeah. I mean, you know, I'll eat some pizza and watch it.

And the commercials will be on. And watch it. And then today the Pro Bowl happened, which... Nobody cares. It's the Pro Bowl. What was that? What was that? watch it yeah uh and then today the pro bowl happened which nobody cares it's pro bowl i'm sorry what was the pro bowl happened yeah um so yeah really it's just building up to the super bowl a bunch of nba stuff is happening i believe the nhl all-star games like coming up and the NBA all-star games like next month or something uh not a whole lot in sports everyone's like at the midway point of their season or at the end of

it if you're the football thing or baseball still got like two months to go but yeah we're a little bit of a downtime in the sports world so that's sports all righty what is our big news story of the day uh big news story of the day um uh we i don't know uh someone probably sent us something right oh there we go two hours ago florida man finds grenade while fishing brings it the taco bell thanks twitter uh um i mean yeah the story makes sense to me okay a taco bell in florida had to be evacuated on saturday because a man brought a grenade to the restaurant ocala police that the man fished out the grenade while using a magnet.

He opted to... He was fishing with a magnet. This man. This who? This picture with, like, a fishing pole with the thing attached. Like, what kind of hook you got there, Paul? And he's like, I ain't got no hook. I got a magnet.

Magnets, Phil. Magnets. It'll catch more than fish. He opted to not call 911 right away. Instead, he drove more than 15 miles to a Taco Bell before calling the police. Officers evacuated

the store. The bomb squad removed the grenade. No one was hurt. But that's it? That's the store. The bomb squad removed the grenade. No one was hurt. But that's it. That's the story. That's it. Lessons learned. Yeah, but... What about the guy?

What about the grenade? What about... That's all there is to it, my dude. The guy found a grenade and then went to Taco Bell. End of story, period. There's nothing more. That's the there is to it, my dude. The guy found a grenade and then went to Taco Bell. End of story, period. There's nothing more. That's the guy's life.

The man found a grenade, went to Taco Bell, it wrapped up nice and neat. There was nothing else to tell. Yeah. I mean, I guess you're right. That's one of the most simple stories we've ever had on here. He found a grenade, dude went to Taco Bell. No more questions needed.

I mean, we did spend a giant chunk about Crocs. That was a news story. I mean, that fills it, right? Is that what you're going to leave the people with? There's no other news stories. Yeah, you got Crocs. Oh, thank God. Somebody saved us. Thank you, Corey. gonna leave the people with there's no other yeah you got crocs gotta be oh thank god somebody saved us uh thank you cory uh for this one florida man caught masturbating in the pillow aisle at

walmart you gotta see how firm those pillows are it's got you know you're gonna be sleeping on those things and doing other stuff i guess guess. You've got to test those pillows. You've got to test them, dude. You've got to test them. That's what they have show models for. Police in Stewart went to Walmart off Federal Highway to arrest Dennis Palmer. Sorry, who? Kristen Stewart?

Police in Stewart. Oh, I thought you said Kristen Stewart. Kristen Stewart herself went to arrest this masturbator um arrested dennis palmer who's barely doing a little more than shopping video footage shows dennis whipping it out in the pillow aisle and then he starts to touch himself when the cops questioned him he told them that it was a bad case of the crabs. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. According to the police, there was more rubbing and tugging and not so much scratching going on in the video.

I don't. I like his gambit. I like his gambit. He was like, I can't let him think I was masturbating. Guys, I have the crabs. I got the crabs. You know how it is. I got the crabs.

Why is he in the pillow aisle doing it? Does he just love pillows? I don't know. There's a lot of questions there. It's not even like waifu pillows, just pillows. Maybe he has like a a goose down fetish god damn i like me a good goose down maybe he's into memory foam like memory foams his thing that's true it might be memory foam he's like oh i like it when it cushions to my body.

Ew. Ew. That's something. Well, I mean, that's all we got. There's no, like, details or anything. Kristen Stewart took him down. I'm so proud of her. Kristen Stewart took him down. Since his arrest.

She was like, you, sir, cut it out. He's like, I'm not masturbating, Kristen Stewart. I have the crabs. And she was like, don't tell me you have the crabs. I'm famed actress Kristen Stewart, and you were masturbating. And then he was like, no. All the crabs jumped off of his pubic region and started dancing to that Crab Rave song. It was like, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo.

Look up Crab Rave if you haven't seen it. Top quality song. Crab Rave. Yeah. Crab Rave. It's great. It kicks off at like a minute in. Go to 114.

Yes! This is what he's doing when the crab jumps off. That's what his crabs are doing. And Kristen Stewart, of course, is like, oh my god. Maybe it was crabs. Then she starts dancing with the crabs. Then he starts dancing. And then everyone at Walmart or wherever starts dancing.

And then he starts jerking it. And they're like, all right, we got to arrest you now. Stop. Even his crabs are a little disappointed. And he starts jerking it. And they're like, all right, we got to arrest you now. You have to stop. Even his crabs are a little disappointed. All right, well, that's it for this episode. Thank you so much for listening or watching or however you're enjoying this. Crandall, I love the socials. We got so many places to listen to this podcast. YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandall podcast podcast youtube.com slash cox and crendor

podcast youtube.com slash cox and crendor for the animations we got spotify cox and crendor we got itunes cox and crendor we got soundcloud.com slash cox and crendor the og we got uh twitter.com slash jesse cox twitter.com slash crendor youtube.com slash jesse cox youtube.com slash crendor facebook probably websites twitch streams jesse cox crendor look it all up just google us find us YouTube.com slash Jesse Cox. YouTube.com slash Crandor. Facebook, probably. Websites. Twitch streams. Jesse Cox, Crandor. Look it all up. Just Google us, find us.

Hit the like button. Hit the share button. Share us all over. And have a happy day. All right. Well, that's it for us. We're going to get out of here. But as always, to be continued.