Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 184 - How to Find Love (At the Waffle House)

Episode Date: February 18, 2019

It's time for more of the boys and their ridiculous adventures. This week Crendor lords his fine wine tastes over others and thumbs his nose at milkshakes. Meanwhile Jesse up and found himself single again before Valentine's Day! Maybe he could learn a few things from Flordia Woman, who got naked and attacked a Waffle House. All this and so much more on another exciting episode of Cox n' Crendor! Get 15% off your first pair at http://meundies.com/crendor Buy your Health + Ancestry Service kit today at http://23andme.com/cox

Today's episode is brought to you by me, Undies! They are Undies that I have on me. Right, I have actually right now I have, uh, they're like little hearts and stuff. They're wonderful. They're lovely. Oh, I have on, uh, navy blue. Of course you do. Also today we're brought to you by 23andMe. Get that DNA information about yourself, including your personalized

health traits and more. Find out where you're from, all that cool stuff. But let's jump into this podcast. Hello, everybody! It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog! This is Trend Dog in the morning.

In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studio! Hello everybody and welcome back to another exciting episode of Cox and Crenn Tower in the morning. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey, hi. I was gonna do like some big like, hey, but then I just kinda gave up. It's not the day for that. It's not. I have no, I'm energy destroyed. I am done.

I've given up. You said you had a bad day. Some days, you know, I live by the motto, control what you can control, and don't worry about the things you can't control. Today was one of those days where so much BS happened that I just, I've given, so first off, let's be very clear. I took my, earlier this week, I took my car in to get fixed. They just keep telling me it's going to take more and more time. So it's taken so long, I've had to take the rental car they gave me back

twice now. I'm on my third rental car. That's how long it's taken, because they only can give it to you for 72 hours at a time. So I had to go back. I'm on my third one now. So I don't have my car, and I realized all of my information about

driving stuff, because it has a little map in it, right? All my information saved in there. I don't know how to get to half the places I'm going. So already I'm driving blind, right? And I was like, oh, I'll use my phone. I haven't used my phone to get around in, I don't know, five years. So I'm trying to figure out how to use the I don't want to say AOL But the Apple Google Apple Maps

I couldn't figure, I'm like this is so dumb Why does it work the way I want it to Oh my god, so already I'm messed up Then, coming to record I was like alright, gotta go to the office Sunday I gotta get stuff done It's gonna be, come in to record I spend all day dealing with tech issues

Rather than recording I'm like okay, I have Dodger coming in It's going to be come in to record. I spent all day dealing with tech issues rather than recording. I'm like, okay, I have a Dodger coming in and I have Octo Pimp, one of our friends, and I have Ross from the Game Grumps. All these guys coming in. We're going to record. It's going to be amazing. Nope.

We start to record. We record for three hours, 30 minutes into the recording. I guess the computer just turned off and we didn't notice. Oh. Yeah. That's. So. Oof. That's a big oof. Yeah. Yeah. I guess it decided to restart or something. guess the computer just turned off and we didn't notice oh yeah that's so that's cool yeah yeah i guess it decided to restart or something and uh yeah that sucks and we went over to go turn

everything off and it was just like you have 30 minutes of recorded footage so that's lost all that's lost which means i have to beg them to come back next sunday to do it all over again well then oh yeah then i come down here to do podcasts and it's just like, hey, guess what? Your audio interface isn't working right now. So I had to literally go steal another audio interface, learn how to use it, and hook it up. I am

just done with technology for the day. I want to go home and I don't know, get out of, I have a record player. Get out a record. Just sit there and listen to like a record player. Get out a record. Just sit there and listen to a record from 1980. And just remember when technology was just simpler. Just simpler. Well, I got a somewhat similar story.

Not as bad. So I was looking by the dishwasher. And I was like, huh. It's like the carpet by the dishwasher is kind of wet. And then I was like, I told the landlord, and he's like, all right, I'll have a plumber come out. So Bill the plumber, he's like, yeah, I'll come out at like 9 or 10 a.m.

And I was like, can we do 11 so I'm not like dead? And he's like, yeah, that's fine. So I get up at like 10.45, you know, get my four and a half hours of sleep where I want more sleep, but I can still function. How? Why did you just go to bed earlier? I can't do that. I have my circadian rhythm clock.

You are a circadian rhythm. What's the matter with you? Okay. I go to bed same time, wake up same time. That's what happens to your body does. I'm like 80. All right. So I do that. I get up 11, nothing. same time wake up same time that's what happens to your body does i'm like 80 all right so i do

that i get up 11 nothing 11 15 nothing 11 30 nothing 11 45 i get a call it's bill the plumber and he says yeah hey uh i've been getting over sickness took some of that cold medicine, watching TV, just passed out, woke up now. Can I still come over? I was like, yeah. So he came over like a little after noon. I was like, man, I could have slept till noon. Got six hours sleep. But then it comes in.

He's got his flip phone and he's like, man, I hate those smartphones. I dropped it three days after the warranty it's they won't even give me a new one so i went back to this thing and he's like i've dropped it 30 times still works and then he's like let's see he looks at the dishwasher he's like yeah you got a broken valve thing that's uh all right and then he uh he smelled very heavily of cigarettes uh and he is a very much chicago and like hey these guys over here you guys really is that type of guy so he's like yeah yeah like a flip super valve that thing's kind of broken you know i'll let the landlord know and then see if i come out again you know and i was like yeah anytime past uh noon it's great he's like all right all right and then he

left 10 minutes later comes back he's like i didn't write down the dishwasher uh number i'm gonna have to get that so i get the part so they gotta do that and then i've just spent all day just kind of like all right well i'm waiting for sleep uh but there was some guy like you know yeah i didn't mind i'm the thing the thing is like if i would have gotten more sleep oh and it carries just decided to get up early but you know early you you asked you asked him to do it listen you could have made up a lie and been like look yeah no i, no, I'm really busy in the morning. If you come around 1, we'll be good. Yeah, I could have did that. I didn't.

What are you going to do? I'll go to bed at like, you know. There's the moral. There's the moral. I go to bed at like 4 hours of sleep a night. I'm fine. Like, all right, listen. I'm like 80.

My organs are gone. I need my sleep. All right? He's just a flesh sack at this point. A flesh sack filled with bones. He's falling apart. I'll get at this point I'm just like a literal meat sack just lay in there like her juvenile soon so that was fun I believe you shout to yourself duh rejuvenate soon I believe you said that to yourself oh my god so I also got some stories so on valentine's day we went to this like wine

bar place because i was like oh cool wine bar place so we did yeah uh there's a wide variety of people there as you guys dress up should dress up uh we did i wore uh non-sweat pants for the first time in i want to say romantic romantic years. It's so romantic, you guys. Yeah, and then I got a wine flight. They had some good wine flights. They had a bunch of good wines. There was this couple behind us that they were very out of place.

And then the waiter was like, how you doing? And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what do you mean out of place? Explain. Explain to the people. What do you mean? It's like a nice wine bar right most people don't want to go to a wine bar unless they're like oh very nice i like this wine oh uh these people are like what's this one what's this one you got and they're just like i don't know and then they were uh talking about uh co-. So the one was like,

and I told that bitch, you better not come at me. And I was like, what is happening? What did she do? Where do you work? Why are you here? Maybe because it's Valentine's Day and it might have been romantic for them to go out. I guess. It was just weird

because it was just my theory. Way back in the day when just weird because it was just my theory. You know, way back in the day when I came up with the blue paint theory? It's like that little red dot on a blue wall. You notice that. It was that thing. It was like everybody else around me, and then you just have that red dot. It was out of place.

I don't understand. Just because they clearly never been to a wine bar before. It's their first time. That's romantic. Then they got up. She got up to go to the bathroom. All right. I'm pretty sure she did a line of cocaine.

Came back and was kind of fidgeting. And I was like, that's definitely. Then they both left for like 15 minutes. And I was like, oh, I guess they're done then they came back And they started like Talking again I'm pretty sure they went and did it in the car Yeah alright I can see that

It's Valentine She did some drugs I guess romantic And then he was like hey are you drugged up now And she's like yeah I guess we can do it Because I have no feeling in me And then yeah look everyone, hey, are you drugged up now? And she's like, yeah, I guess we can do it because I have no feeling in me. And then, yeah, look, everyone has their own type of romance. Some people are just much more damaged than the rest of us.

Well, I was like, all right. I mean, here's the thing. I sound like I'm like, oh, it was just the word. I don't mind. It gives me stories to talk about. You do sound like that. You very much are like, they didn't belong. I didn't want them at my wine social mixer club.

It's my gatekeep and I shall keep the gate. No, but it gave me stories to tell. I can talk about this. I never mind that. I sound like I care more than I do. But here's the thing that made me like super not. Okay. This was I had to write this down.

So after having all this, I wanted to get a milkshake i was like i'll go to steak and shake so we go to steak and shake whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa now you're the people who don't belong if you're walking in there dressed nice just go to the drive-thru oh all right never mind boring so pull up to the drive-thru nobody uh nobody comes on the thing i'm like all right by the way steak and shake 24 hours all right they're open 24 hours it's like denny's or something waiting nothing i was like all right maybe they're in the bathroom i'll give them a good another minute if you another minute goes by another minute goes by nothing so i'm like all right well maybe i'll uh loop around maybe then the i don't know it works i looped around like a little sensor or something didn't go off yeah

all right i've been there before i know where this is going loop around and uh that didn't do anything either so i was like i wonder if i can see anybody inside so i just like slowly brown and i saw people inside that work there and then they're like talking to each other and then i uh pulled up again for a third time still nothing so i honked my horn and then drove off uh and when i looked in after I heard my horn, they were, like, hiding. I didn't see anybody. So it made me think.

It's like when McDonald's, you know, McDonald's, like, yeah, milkshake machine's broken. I'm like, I know it's not broken. Sometimes it could. All they do is squirt it out. It isn't like they're making you a milkshake from scratch. I don't think, I think in that case at McDonald's, it probably is, I don't know about broken,

but probably at night they have to clean it, I think. Well, I've never heard them be like, oh yeah, milkshake, it's down for maintenance, we gotta clean it. They're always like, yeah, it's broken. Well, maybe that's easier to say. Well, alright. People that work at these places, do you know people that just tell you that the thing's broken so they don't have to do it? Or they just don't answer the fast food thing because they don't want to do it?

Years ago, I went to a drive-thru. I don't remember what restaurant it was, but I remember going to the drive-thru and being like, hello, hello. And then I pulled up, and the dude was just asleep. So, you know've i've seen it admittedly it was 2 a.m and i was really messed up but i wanted that taco or whatever i was trying to get that dude was passed out and i was like 24 hours you're open 24 hours you should be awake well in the grand scheme of things i'm glad I didn't get the milkshake because it probably would have destroyed my body. But, you know, at the time.

Really? All those delinquents, they were helping you out? Yeah. So, you know what? I guess thanks. You're welcome. And that was fun.

Yeah, I didn't do anything for Valentine's. I ate pizza at home and watched Face Off. That sounds like something. Yeah, yeah. I'm back on that single life, so I've been doing it very, like, I don't even give a damn. I'm going to do what I want to do. So it's been very nice.

You just got to do what you want to do. It's been very nice. Turns out I'm going to be real. I'm going to be real with everyone out there. I'm going to let people know. Okay. Be real. I have tried my hardest over the last couple years to find love, to find someone to spend

my life with, and I'll be real. I kind of just like being my own person. Yeah. Every time I think about it, I'm like, man, I couldn't have done this when I was dating X, or I couldn't have done this when I was dating X or I couldn't have done this when I was dating Y right and I'm like you know what I'm gonna buy myself a heart shaped pizza and watch face off cause I don't give a damn

and that's what I did and it felt good let me give you some 68 year old woman advice you just gotta be you if you just be you then you will attract the person that you know you'll love you the most yeah but you know that i'm only me i can't be anyone else that's true uh so i don't know what to tell you yeah i'm only me but like it the problem that i have is i think i just enjoy

being by myself more and i I don't know why. It may come down to the people I've dated in the past. And I've just been like, you know what? I'd rather spend time alone. I don't know. I don't know. Ever since I started doing YouTube. Before that, it was a different world.

Right? Right. I don't want to use the word internet famous or famous because I think that's bullshit first off. Yeah. You're just like a successful fluke. But ever since I started doing YouTube, my relationship status has always involved either dating someone who was like very insecure about me, in that like, oh, Jesse, some girl's going to come and snatch him up who's better than me.

And I'm like, what are you talking about? Have you seen me? Some girl's going to come and snatch him up who's better than me. And I'm like, what are you talking about? Have you seen me? And then on the flip side, they turn out to be really egotistical or some form of it feels like they're using me. And those feel terrible too. And yeah, so those come to an end by my hand or other.

And the more I think about it, the more I'm just like, I kinda like doing my own thing. What I want to, not having to answer anyone, which is probably one of the problems with previous relationships, because you shouldn't have to do that in a relationship. Plus, I have enough insecurity as an ego for the whole thing, so I don't need anyone else bringing shit in. I keep saying I'm gonna do this, but really,

I think I'm gonna sit back, relax, be chill, and hopefully meet a woman who's like, confident in her job and in her life, who's got her shit figured out, but at the same time is super down to earth and not like an ass. That's your ideal. Yeah. And she also, red hair is a plus. You want a powerful red hair woman. Powerful red hairhaired woman.

Yeah. All right. Top six most powerful redhead women in history. All right, that's not going to help you. Oh, my God. No, that's perfect. Who can I clone? You could go with a clone of Boudica.

Boudica is great. Yeah. She's one of my favorite characters to control in Civilization. Yeah. Grace O'Malley. Oh, Saints Preserve. Ah, sahati she was. Elizabeth I of England.

Sure, sure. Powerful. Very powerful. Anne Bonny. Yep, yep. Pirate's Life for me. Lucy Burns. I thought you were going to say Lucy Lawless, and I was like, all right, man.

And Rose Schneiderman. All these sound like great ladies. They're probably all dead now, and I wish them the best, but. Yes, and here's the thing. They're all, like, Scottish, Irish, and English. That's the secret, apparently. Yeah, that's why Coxconn's in the UK every... It's all a secret plan.

One day. Then I'll find my red-headed vixen. No, I... Oh, yeah, I'm officially just, like, done-zo. I'm so done. I'm so over it. When's the last time you dated a redhead? The last time I... A real redhead? Yeah.

I'm gonna say 2013? 14? Maybe? One of those two. Yeah, that was the last time. That's too long. And that's why I'm back on it. Because since then, I've been like, well, you know,

this girl's interested in me, so I guess let's give it a shot because how often is that going to happen, right? But then, yeah, I wasn't going after what I wanted, man. And now I know what I want. Pizza. A heart-shaped pizza to watch face-off. Wait, is face-off the Nick Cage one? Yeah, the Nick Cage and John Travolta movie where they take each other's faces off.

It's incredible. And they switch characters halfway through the movie. It's so good. Oh, yeah, that one. What a fantastic. I watched that. Oh, my God. So I watched that.

Then immediately after that was over, I watched an Anthony Bourdain where he went to Antarctica. That was fascinating Oh my god, it was so cool Also, puns and whatnot Yeah, he goes to Antarctica Which I was like, what? Thank you, thank you, thank you Yeah, everything

You know what, if it wasn't for my tech shit crashing I would have had a great week I could have come on here and been like Dude, let me tell you, I had a great week Oh my god, oh my god me tell you, I had a great week. Oh my god. Oh my god. Alright, you ready for this? Alright. Yesterday, went with my mom to the LA

travel show. Oh. Let me tell you. Holy crap. First off, I learned that the Cox family desire for loot, it is generational. My mom collected bags and pamphlets and weird-ass shit. She was grabbing everything she could grab.

I was like, oh, I know where I get that from. Then we walked around, and how do I describe this? It's like every convention that we've ever been to, except everyone's 60-plus walking incredibly slowly and confused, confused about everything. I want to go to that.

Bright lights, weird sounds, guys shouting about different things. There was a guy giving a speech, so my mom was like, oh, that's the famous guy. I had no idea who this dude was. It just sounds like somebody had a flashbang.

It's like, ah. That's really, that's how it felt. For me at least, it felt like someone threw a flashbang down and suddenly I was in a different place. Yes, it very much felt that way. The guy giving the speech

was some famous dude. My mom was like, oh, I know him. He's good. He was talking about how when you travel, you should, that tour guides are paid after they give you the tour, and so you should only go on tours where you pay up front. Because then the tour guides on your side, but then other tour guides, they're paid based on how much crap they get you to buy along the way.

Oh. And of course, then he was like, on the tours that I provide, which was like, okay, we get it. But he was saying things, it was so funny. He was like, so let me tell you, if you go to Amsterdam, a lot of fun stuff to do there, a lot of crazy stuff. You know what I'm talking about.

He's like, point to people in the audience. It's like, what? And he's like, but did you also know there are museums? Lots and lots. They don't even advertise those museums because they're free to the public. They won't advertise them because they don't have the money for it. So you're thinking, oh, Amsterdam, they got drugs and they've got women, but they've also got museums. And I was like, what is happening right now? He's like, when you go to France, he's like, when you go to France, let me tell you, you could say to yourself, I want to

go see the Louvre. I want to go see this. I want to do that. You could do all those things. But have you ever wanted to see skulls? Because there's some people out there who love bones. They say, man, I want to see a lot of bones. You can't. Go to France. There's tons of bones there.

My mom was transfixed. She immediately went over to this guy's booth, grabbed pamphlets. And then she was like, I'd love to go to Spain. And the guy at the booth was just like, well, let me tell you, we could do all sorts of things for Spain. And so we may actually do it. This could be a thing. Damn. You're going to go to Spain.

We saw, what else did we see? We saw a bunch of old ladies doing belly dancing. My mom thought it was hilarious. Is it the travel show? Yeah, it was at the travel show. The travel show had a world stage. And so there were old ladies belly dancing And she thought it was hilarious so she went to go take

Video of it she has it I'm sure if the internet asked she'd show you I wanna see There was a Oh my god there was a guy from Samoa There was a Samoa booth They were like come to Samoa So for those who don't know what a travel show is

I figure I should probably explain this It is all these different tour guides They're like, come to Samoa. So for those who don't know what a travel show is, I figure I should probably explain this. It is all these different tour guides, all these different tour groups, all these different nations, really, trying to get you to come there. And they try to give you deals and show off their places. A lot of it was California stuff. It was like, come to Tahoe or experience Northern California, stuff like that. But a lot of it was overseas things. There was a huge Korea area, a big Japan area, all these airlines and things trying to get you to use there, that kind of stuff. And so I guess the point is you're supposed to get deals or find deals here or at least be introduced to tour guides who would take you to a country where you don't speak the language, that kind of thing.

So we're walking around. We walk by Samoa, and there's a dude dressed in full Samoan garb, right? My mom notices him and gives a polite wave, and I guess this guy thought my mom was giving him the go-ahead to do a dance or something. So he starts doing a full awesome dance. I was watching the whole thing, but he jumps at my mom and goes, and she, like, I think her heart stopped. It was so funny.

I don't know that she was ready for it, and then she looked back at me and she goes, this place is wild. I was like, yeah, this place is so crazy, mom. This is crazy. This is a wacky, wild adventure of a place. Oh, man.

Yeah, by the time I left, I was so tired. There were so many people just, you know how at gaming conventions there are lines? Like, everything is a line. Yeah. Walkways are lines. Here, there were no lines. It was chaos. People were walking diagonally through areas.

People were stopped in the middle. There were five or six people in one aisle just standing there talking. And no one could get by. So it started to back up and back up. And finally, an old lady was like, excuse me. And then all the other old ladies were just like, oh, sorry. And then they couldn't figure out how to get around each other. I was just like, oh, my God.

I was just like oh my god I guess that's the difference of like The old people conventions Versus like the you know younger people Gamer conventions Nerds at least feel like they're always in the way Yeah And so nerds will try to like stay out of the way of other people Because they don't want to be like I don't know beat up or whatever

At least At least there you feel like you can get through There's just a lot of people Here I don't think there beat up or whatever. At least there, you feel like you can get through. There's just a lot of people. Here, I don't think there was a ton of people, but everyone who was there was constantly in the way. Yeah, it's just the old people who don't care. They're just like, what are you going to do? Knock me over?

Exactly. I was looking at some of these booths, and they are definitely crazy. You got your Paradise Cove paradise cove are you looking are you looking at the la travel show yeah uh south dakota department of tourism yeah that sounds right bamboo is better you got your zulu nyala game reserve oh my god hold on i can actually i can come i'm on that thing with you right now. So I assume what you're looking at is the. The exhibitor list, the booth thingy.

It's the. Yeah. So if you have the map. Floorplane. On the left side, all the way over, there was a zip line, an indoor zip line they had set up. Oh, whoa. There was the global beat stage. That's where my mom saw the old ladies dancing.

Yeah. It was all, it was interesting. It was interesting, but I don't know. Nothing that I would write home about. I feel like it's just something you gotta experience. Like I'd want to experience this for like an hour.

We were there for about an hour and a half. It was definitely an experience. There's no reason at a certain point it became very clear that A lot of it was Places to see in California Which we didn't want to do that You could just drive

Why did you need a tour? Why do you need a tour to go to like Wine country? Just drive there And then there were a lot of things To places my mom didn't want to go And then there were a few places That my mom was like Well well, that's interesting.

We got the information for those. Other than that, she gave everything quick looks like, nope, don't want to go there. Don't care about that. Not interested in that. And then that was it. And we were out. We were in and out. And then when we were done, my mom was like, have you ever heard of California donuts?

I'm like, no, what's that? She's like, let's go. We just went to this place that was way out of the way because they had apparently some of the best donuts in Los Angeles. And so we got a few. Were they the best you've ever eaten? They were good. The one that I got was a Tiger Tail, which is a chocolate and normal flavored donut twirled, like one of those long donuts. Great.

It was good. It was delicious. My mom ate most of it. On the car ride home, she was just- What's the worst going out of the way for it, though? I don't know, because my mom and dad got most of the donuts. They got like a cronut. They got also-

What's a cronut? I don't know what the hell they got. What now? What's a cronut? A croissant donut. Oh. Yeah. That's a cronut a croissant donut oh yeah it's a weird combo and they got a bunch of stuff

we got six donuts in total I don't know what they got but it was all creative donuts I know they had one that looked like a panda they had one that was a Girl Scout cookie donut they had one that adds cereal on it. You know, very typical L.A. donut things where everything's a little extravagant.

Yeah. They had like a matcha donut. I feel like even that's becoming a very common thing now. I see those types of donuts all over the place. I think so too I think What it is now in LA The places that are really LA donut places And it's also A very hamburger thing here in LA too

They make a trend and they're like That's lame Let's get even weirder with it So you get burgers now that are like We put peanut butter on our burger Something like that Now Let me see if I can find that donut place.

Sidecar Donuts. Yes. So Sidecar Donuts, this place is known for its weird wild donuts. Let me just really quickly give you some of these just so you can experience how nonsense this is. All right. Some of the flavors they have, just to show you where LA is going. Red wine chocolate. Raspberry balsamic.

They have a Valentine's Day cake. They have butter and salt. They have Saigon cinnamon crumb. They have huckleberry. They have basil eggs benedict. That's just to name a few. That's too weird for me. That's just to name a few.

That's what I'm saying. Donuts are officially getting weird here in LA. To the point where I'm like, I don't know that I want to eat that. I was fine when they were like, it's a matcha donut. I'm like, okay, I kind of get what that tastes like. Dirt. Right? I get it.

But I don't want it, but I know what that tastes like. I couldn't tell you what a wine donut tastes like or why I'd want one. Yeah. I don't even want that, and I like wine. That's what I'm saying. I don't. They're, and I like wine. That's what I'm saying. I don't. They're just like, screw it. We're going to get real weird with it.

I go, okay. All right. That's just, they're going too far, and it's time to stop. Maybe that's what I should do. Next time we're out here, we should go get those and have a video taste test. Yeah, we should. Of weird-ass wine donuts and stuff. The world would love it. The kids would would love it the kids would love it the kids would love it as almost as much as the travel show which asked me how i'm doing uh some

tas bot and i said just browsing and he's like all right i will be in the bottom right corner i am a bot i had that too i closed that window very quickly i wanted to let him know i was just having a good time he said said, hey, thanks. Speaking of having a good time and websites and other things that can segue easily into this, hey, we did stuff for Valentine's Day, but what'd you do? Rather than going out

and spending all that money or staying in at home and, I don't know, being naked, what if you got yourselves some MeUndies? So next time Valentine's Day rolls around, you can feel good. You can feel comfortable with your decisions, whatever they are. That's a segue. That's where I'm going with this.

Let me tell you, MeUndies are so good. They use a coveted micromodal fabric that is three times softer than cotton. This fabric genuinely feels like heaven right on your butt, right on your skin. I don't know what it is. I don't know how it works, but it's amazing. And you can get the style that fits you perfectly. Men and women can choose from four different cuts. We're talking like boxer briefs, bikini cut, just, I don't know, boxers or briefs.

Whatever. There's all sorts of different kinds. And then they all come in fun colors. You have your classic colors. You got your adventurous prints, all that stuff. MeUndies even just recently sent me a t-shirt. They have t-shirts that you can get. They have sweats.

They have socks. They have all sorts of things. And they feel really, really good. They're made from the same fabric. It's incredible. Y'all, MeUndies has a great offer for our listeners. has a great offer for our listeners. If you're a first-time purchaser, when you go to MeUndies.com slash Crendor,

you can get 15% off and free shipping. It's a no-brainer. This is everyone who has done this has messaged us and been like, guys, you changed my life. And we accept that. We will take credit for making your day better. You get 15% off your first pair, free shipping, and 100% satisfaction guarantee. You must go to MeUndies.com

slash Crendor. That's MeUndies.com slash Crendor. That's me. Undies.com slash Crendor. See, I tied it together. Yeah, you know, you know that. What was that? Like a little goblin.

Also, today we're brought to you by 23andMe. Guys, we live in a world where having access to information about yourself, data that's personalized to you, and where you're from is super important. The more you know, the better. And I know that's true because all y'all, if you listen to us on your phone or on your computer or whatever, don't tell me you weren't just online

looking up random stuff so you could find out more information about something stupid. This is something useful! 23andMe allows you to go beyond Ancestry Ancestry, that's right. 23andMe allows you to go beyond Ancestry to access more personalized insights about you based on your DNA.

With more than 125 genetic reports, you can even get insights on your health, traits, all that kind of stuff. It's personalized just for you. You can find out about things like your sleeping habits or caffeine consumption. One of the most amazing things that I think is really, truly interesting is they have a deep sleep report. This goes back to you, Crandor. If you've always suspected that you feel more sleepy than others after missing out on, you know, a few good nights of sleep, things like that, your genes could be involved.

Mine basically told me that essentially, and this is totally true, that I can operate off of like six hours of sleep, but if I go above that, if I, you know how sometimes you go to bed, you wake up, I don't know, after five hours of sleep and they're like, oh man, I'm still tired, but go back to sleep. You go back to sleep and then you wake up

even more tired? Yeah. That's genetics, man. That's in me. I should have gotten up at that first time because my body was like, yo, we're good to go. Let's do this. Damn. But what I did is I went back to sleep and I didn't get any REM.

I just like laid there like a lump. My body was like, why'd you do that, bro? You're some big lump. I am a big lump. They have alcohol reports and weight reports, all sorts of things. Guys, seriously, check it out. It's fascinating. See what your genes can say about your health, your traits, and more by your health and ancestry service kit today at 23andMe.com slash Cox.

That's the number 23andMe.com slash Cox. Again, that's 23andMe.com slash Cox. Two, three, and me. .com slash Cox. All right, Grendor, let's go to the top of the scouting. Grendor, how's that traffic out there? Oh, boy, traffic out there. Looks like there's some cars on the road.

There's a truck. There's a small Jeep. Looks like there's an RV. Let's see what else we got. There's a red car, a blue Jeep. Looks like there's a RV. Let's see what else we got. There's a red car, a blue car, one car, a two car, three car, four car, more car,

store car. I'm just kind of rhyming now. And let's, you know, what else do you got to do up here? I've been doing these traffic things for like six years. I don you know what uh what else do you gotta do up here i've been doing these traffic things for like six years all right i don't know what's happening you know i'm not a qualified traffic guy you know you don't really have to be to observe the traffic i'm sure like what what else what else are people gonna tell you you know like oh there's blah blah they can't tell you

anything that i just told you uh so just you you know, get out there, be safe, pay attention when you're driving, and don't be an idiot. Back to you. Thanks, Crandor. Now let's go over to Crandor the Weather to scowl at weather. Weather is still snowing in a lot of places, I think. But let's see where the weather's going to be. What's going to be except for a four two.

Fitz town. Where's Fitz town? I'm waiting for you to tell me. Fitz town. Okay. I think that's Oklahoma. Oklahoma. Okay.

That's right. Okay. Okay. Okay. Fitz town. Okay. Hey, tonight it's 24 degrees. Mostly clear. You got right. Okay. Okay. Okay. Fits down okay. Hey, tonight it's 24 degrees. Mostly clear.

You got a low of 24. You got winds north-north east at 15 miles an hour. You got a Monday high about 43. It seems pretty cold for Oklahoma. I thought it was warmer there. That's like this weather. I feel like I'm looking at my Chicago weather. Let's take a look at the Penn Bay.

You got a 43, 35, 49, 52, 53. Yeah, then it gets warmer. That's what I figured Oklahoma would be like. 52, 56, 60, 55, 52, 54, 51, 50, 51. Even though most of those will probably change because the weather is usually accurate to like four or five days most typically. Well, at least like some of these things. Like they'll be like, oh, it's going to rain next week. And they say it's going to be like 50 with rain on like a Sunday.

And that just turns into like a 50 with no rain. And then two days later it rains and it's like 30. And it's like, well, you got mixed up. And that's what happens a lot of those weather guys. You don't want to trust those guys. It's crazy. Crazy people. Trust the robot.

The weather robot and me because I programmed them. Wow. Okay. So you better trust me. Is that it? I don't know. What else? I just went over the whole thing.

What else do you want me to say? All right. No. Okay. Yeah. What else do you want me to say? I don't know. I don't know the weather.

That's what I'm saying. Okay. I mean, we can go over That's what I'm saying. Okay. We can go over some in-depth dew points. 25 on the dew point. I don't think we need to. I don't think anyone cares about the dew point. What even is... I know dew is like the stuff on the grass,

but what is a dew point? Is that when the grass gets that dew? When the grass gets that dew? When the grass gets that dew. That's really creepy. What a very creepy way to say that. When the grass gets that dew. Let's see. Dew point.

The dew point is the temperature to which air must be cooled to become saturated with water vapor. When further cooled, the airborne water vapor will condense to form liquid water, dew. When air cools to its dew point through contact with a surface that is colder than the air, water will condense on the surface.

We all got a valuable lesson here, I think. I still don't know. I still don't get it. Okay. What's humidity, then? Humidity is like... It's water in the air. It's the water in the air.

So it's like the... I take it it's related to humidity, then, right? It's a BS. It's connected to humidity, yes. In a simple answer, yes. You're right. All right. Good.

I think I figured it out. Yeah. Okay. simple answer, yes. You're right. All right. Good. I think I figured it out. Yeah. Okay. I'm glad you're... I'm glad you're... All right. Cool. Krenda, what's going on in sports?

Sports. Sports? A whole lot of nothing's really going on. NBA All-Star Game happened. Team Gi was lost. Yeah. I heard it was terrible. Well, most All-Star games are terrible.

Okay. Well, baseball spring training got underway in Arizona and hot places. Hockey had some games today, but it's still like most of this doesn't even matter until

end of March, early April. That's when all the big-time games start happening. It's like, we'll always make it to playoffs. What's going on? It's kind of a boring period in sports and kind of a boring period in general because February is just like, I don't know. We're just waiting for the clock to spring forward. Then we get more daylight.

Then we're all happier. Wow. Wow. What a dark period happier. Wow. Wow. What a dark period in your life. Literally. That's all I'm saying. And in the fake football league, the AFL or whatever it is, Trent Richardson, 91 yards and a touchdown for the Birmingham Iron.

And Zach Stacey runs for 101 in the touchdown for the Express. It's called the AAF. That's what it is. We talked about that last week. But they did stuff again. More stuff happened. And that's sports. Okay.

Crandor, what is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. Florida woman drops pants, licks man, dances naked in waffle house parking lot okay yes florida woman drops pants looks man dances naked in waffle house parking lot she looks very proud of it as well uh let me just drop this so you get a yeah i need to see this there you go she does look proud of it. I mean, terrifying look. Maybe it's just the lighting.

Maybe it's bad lighting. It's because it's like kind of looking up at her too, and she's like, like the Joker or something. It is a little creepy. Yeah. I don't like it. I don't like this at all. You're right.

That's the voice like. She did it right. That's the voice like... A Florida woman was arrested after she undressed and danced around a Waffle House parking lot before licking a stranger on the face. Freedom Rider Zobrist. No. No. No.

Freedom Rider Zobrist. I think she's actually named After the Freedom Writers too Is it actually Freedom Writer like R-I-D-E-R It's R-Y-D-E-R Oh okay well maybe She's not named after the Freedom Writers Again

They were civil rights activists for people who want to know Who the Freedom Writers were I hope not related to this woman whatsoever. But let's continue, please. She's arrested Monday. She's 38 years old in Pensacola on lewd and indecent exposure of sexual organs charges as well as disorderly conduct, battery, assault. Oh, so sexual organs.

She was showing her hoo-ha to people. She was. According to police report, Waffle House employee asked Zobris to leave the restaurant due to her behavior. Zobris later returned and verbally abused the employee. She also threatened to get a gun and shoot the man in the face with all the restaurant's employees. What the shit? Following the conversation, Zobris walked to the parking lot and pulled down her pants, exposing her sexual organs. Then she began dancing around the parking

lot. Why? With her pants still down, Zobris walked up to the Waffle House employee and licked both sides of his face. A witness says Zobris also blocked his vehicle inside the parking lot and danced naked in front of his car. Can I ask you a question?

Her pants were still down around her ankles? Is that what this is saying? Yeah. So it's less of a car can i ask you a question her pants were still down around at her ankles is that what this is saying yeah so it's less of a dance and more of like a jig because let's be real you can't really get full dance on when you have your pants around your ankles she was doing like that's kind of what she was doing she's doing a little dance like a little jig it adds a bit yeah one foot then the other just back and forth that's I mean you know still look at that picture that's a woman that's on like meth

yes no there's nothing about her that doesn't read I do drugs yeah that's a no doubter so what's her name freedom freedom writer is that it again her name is freedom writer that's? Is that it again? Her name is Freedom Rider. That's right. At least for Freedom Rider, she now...

Well, I guess she's not free, actually. She doesn't have... She's not going to ride in shit, and she's not free. Yeah, no. Sorry. She's an incarcerated sinner, is what she is. She's an incarcerated rider. And she's ready to lick your face and do a jig. Yeah.

I mean, if that's what you're into, I can genuinely say that if she came in naked trying to lick my face, I would be scared. I would be terrified. I'd get tested for a lot of different diseases. Yeah, no, I feel bad. I feel bad because you know you've had a rough life if you dance and naked outside a waffle house yeah yeah that's you know you know it's been a rough road when you outside a waffle house like and people dancing naked i don't i have sympathy for you if that's if that's happening if that's a road i think just fell off the road yeah you're

way off the map if That's long gone. You're not even on the grid. I'm just letting everyone listening to this know, if you find yourself at a Waffle House naked, turn around. There's still hope. You don't have to lick a person. There's still hope. Put your clothes back on.

You gotta put your clothes back on. If you find yourself at a Waffle House, turn around. There's still hope. Get away. You can still get out. I'm letting you know right now. Do not go in there. No good things

come from going into that waffle house. That's my message of the day. That's my deep thought. That is the deepest of thoughts. That right there is a real deep thought. Yeah, no good things ever come from a Waffle House. Never. Nothing good has ever come from a

Waffle House. Oh my God. Alright, well, that is it for us. Was there an end to that story? I have no idea. They just incarcerated her and that's it. There. Yeah, alright, we're done then. Crandor, head over to the socials.

We got YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor if you want the funny animations. We got YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast if you want this podcast. We got SoundCloud.com slash Cox and Crandor.

Spotify is Cox and Crandor. iTunes is Cox and Crandor. We're all over the place. We got YouTube.com slash Jesse Cox. YouTube.com slash Crandor. Twitter.com slash Jesse Cox. Twitter.com slash Crandor. Facebook.comessicox, YouTube.com slash Crandor, Twitter.com slash jessicox, Twitter.com slash Crandor, Facebook.com slash jessicox, Facebook.com slash Crandor,

tell your friends, tell your family, tell your dog, tell your waffle house, but don't, don't go there. Tell your Valentine's dinner people, they're yelling. Tell your steak and shake employees, don't answer the drive through tell your broken computer that needs a new microphone tell everybody tell your redhead to call me it's fine tell your redhead to call me he needs help

laughing laughing yeah that's it alright thank you so much for watching listening or whatever you're doing We love you for it Leave us comments, leave us reviews

Make sure they're all good though We don't want none of that bad crap Please don't leave bad reviews And we'll see you guys next time So as always To be continued.