Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 185 - Grandpa Loves His Yogurt

Episode Date: February 25, 2019

It's another week, and another example of how boring these two really are. For people who get caught up in wacky shenanigans, most of the time they really don't do much! Thankfully the rest of the world flies by delivering amazing stories like this delightful grandpa who just loves yogurt! Get your first refill pack free at http://getquip.com/crendor Get any premium Indochino suit for $359 at http://indochino.com with promo code: COX

Today's episode is brought to you by Quip. Quip is going to make your teeth all knife, knife, knife and healthy and clean. You're going to love it. Also, today we're brought to you by Inochino Custom Menswear. Oh, we're going to make you look so fabulous. You're going to be out there on the streets. People are going to be like, oh, oh, who is that? Is that little Mikey?

How did he get so good looking? And you're going to say Cox and Crandor did that. Damn. Hello, everybody. It's time, Cox and Crandor did that. Damn. Hello, everybody. It's time for Cox and Crandor. Cox and Crandor in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live.

In 4-Hour Recording Studio. Recording. Wake your ass up. It's Cox and Crandor in the Morning. Hey, let's get ready to podcast. Y'all ready for this? Right? That'll probably get claimed on YouTube now

It was so close and accurate, you're right Way too accurate Speaking of completely inaccurate things Did I mention this last episode? I don't know what we talked about half the time Did I talk to you about the safety Not the safety dance The electric slide

They're very similar That was on Twitch when we were streaming Civ I think Yeah yeah yeah It's been in my head a long time I feel like an idiot Because I For years I thought the lyrics Were the electric

Slide funky wonky chunky monkey Right no it's just boogie woogie Woogie woogie yeah but I feel like my version's better Just like My version of the y'all ready for this I think mine's better than the original Yeah I've done that with some

Songs where like I'll replace the words cause I haven't Heard in so long and then when i go to hear the actual song again i'm like that's not what it was but i like my version more right that's like every fallout boy song for me i listen back i'm like man this lyric is not what i thought it was yeah mine's way better this is gibberish whatever they're singing about i have no clue anymore yeah you'll have something it'll be like yo dog slam the beat. And they actually said, like, yo, listen to the rhythm of the street. And you'll be like, oh, that's dumb. Yeah, yo, dog, slam the beat's way better.

Way better. Way better. That's why everyone's like, you don't even know the lyrics. Like, my lyrics are better. I made better lyrics. Yeah. Tough. I agree.

We did that. We played Civ the other night. That was fun. That was fun. We need to play that again soon. We need to continue our game.. I agree. We did that. We played Civ the other night. That was fun. That was fun. We need to play that again soon. We need to continue our game. Yes, we'll probably do that this week.

What else did we do? Oh, yeah. I had a realization. All right. Oh, boy. Is this a Krenn quote? Yeah, that's what I was going to say. All right.

It made me think about how we're a duo, right? It's me and you on this podcast. But there's been so many duos throughout mankind. Why is it seen that duos work the best, not trios or quadros? It's always a duo. I tend to think that duos are the hardest. Really? Quadros, whatever the hell you said. Quadros, I feel like aren feel like That might be one too many

I feel like a trio, there's always one person Who can carry the conversation If the other two fall off But if you're in a duo and one person ain't keeping up Then you're screwed But at the same time That needs to work out too Because you need the right balance

If you got three people and two of them like to talk a lot, they might be talking over each other. Which is why you have the third person who's like the wacky third one who when they say something funny, it's the funniest. I feel like three's easier, which is why twos are more famous. Because if you're a duo and you can do the same thing that three people would do, that's how you have your Abbott and Costellos. Penn and Tellers. Yeah, Penn and Tellers. Thank you. Yeah, those are the only two, really.

Yeah, Jim Carrey. Peanut butter and jelly. Yeah, the twos, right? Meatballs. Right, you don't have spaghetti meatballs and like ice cream that's stupid yeah it's too much that's too much for me yeah so you have to have the two which is why cox and crendor go so well together i like it that's another thing where like there's two two quiet people that's not gonna work so just go back and forth being quiet if you got to talk

to people they'll try to talk over each other again. You don't got that person to bring it down. Yeah. See? It's a nice balance. See how you dug deep and you found the real true answer that we are just geniuses in our time. It's what I think you've discovered. It's got to be.

No other way. We are the modern day equivalent of Cheech and Chong, I think. Yes. That's another one. Cheech and Chong. Cheech and Chong. It's kind of a roly poly-oly like the Cheech and Chong, Cox and Crandor. It's got the like floating.

Yeah. Alliteration. Yeah. I don't know if we should call it a roly poly-oly, but yeah. What if they were named like Mooch and Ziggy? Mooch and Ziggy sounds like a morning show, and it doesn't sound like a good one. Mooch and Ziggy in the morning. What if my name was like, what if I used one of my other WoW characters, like Torglund,

and then you were like Cox and Torglund? That doesn't sound good. Terrible name. It doesn't work. It doesn't work. I'd have to be named like Tony and Torglund, and then that'd be great. Yeah. TNT.

TNT. TNT. And that'd be, you could put that on shirts. It'd look like a stick of dynamite because we're wild. We blow stuff up. We blow up your mornings, right? That's what we should do. We should change our name to Tony and Torgan.

Tony and Torgan. If you're like, I'd be doing most of the work there because you just would switch it to a different character name. I'd have to legally change my name to Tony. I don't know that I'm okay with this tony cox doesn't even sound good tc they call me tony cox like you'd be like yes cox but it's like tony cox like there's like too much like tony car like it's uh it's too much yeah yeah it's just it's all like a nice flow it's all about the flow really Jesse Cox is basically Jessica

What do you think about it I didn't even think of that Think about it it's pretty crazy So oh my god I am in a world of hurt today I went I met with some friends And went out this morning

To get dim sum I was We went to a place I've never been to before So you know when you go to a new place you don't really know what the friends and went out this morning to get dim sum. Ooh, dim sum. I was. We went to a place I'd never been to before. So, you know, when you go to a new place, you don't really know what the portion sizes are. And dim sum usually is like, you know, if I get dumplings, like four dumplings. Right.

Or if you get buns, like one or two buns. Right. So we go to a place called Din Tai Fung, maybe I think is the name. Din Tai Fung. It's in a lot of malls here in LA. And apparently one of the Din Tai Fungs has Michelin stars or something. So it is apparently, the line to get in was crazy. You had to get in a line to go give them your name.

Then they were like, okay, well, we'll text you in however long it takes us to text. Then you get in line again, now in a line of people who have been text. So now you then get the menu, and then you can pick what you want so that you can order it before you even sit down at the table. Then they sit you down and then bring you the food. It was crazy. It was like clockwork but insane clockwork Because we didn't know what anything was And the buns were like

One bun per We were like okay well if you're paying for one bun Then you're probably not paying for a lot of dumplings Not the case at all Literally You got like a thousand We had so much crap come out to us I say crap in a negative way but I don't mean it that way

It was delicious It was all very very good We had so much crap come out to us. I say crap in a negative way, but I don't mean it that way. It was delicious. It was all very, very good. Unfortunately, it was way too much. And I am in, like, a post-dim sum fugue state. My entire body is just like. I ate. You know how they have, like like barbecue pork buns? Yeah.

I thought that's what I was getting. It wasn't a barbecue. It was just a normal pork bun. So inside of it was like a roll of like porky stuff. But I bit into it and it had the juices of like a soup dumpling and sprayed everywhere on me. So now all my clothes smell like, oh, God. Every time I move my head, all I smell is like dumpling broth. And my whole body is just like, oh, why, Jesse?

But everything was so good. Everything was so good. Yeah, them something's always good. Also, it did not dawn on me until we left that the place was called DTF. I just want to let you know. I was like, wait a minute. Why don't they – they had – I think I tweeted it out today. If people want to go look at my timeline on Twitter,

they have like a little mascot that's a little tiny bun boy, and I loved him. I was like, bun boy, I love you. It's us, little bun boy. Right? It looked like Bao. It looked like little Bao boy. It was very cute. And so, yeah, that was literally most of my day.

Most of my day was us drinking and eating dim sum and then, like, being stuck in traffic. That's all I've done today. That is L.A. We went way out of the way to eat dim sum and then like, yeah, now I'm kind of just dead. Oh my god, that is a bun boy. I just saw. Yeah, he's a little bun boy. He's just cutie pie.

And then apparently Bao won the Academy Award for short films. So I predicted it by tweeting out Bao boy. Oh, wow. You actually are a predictor. You are the Cox or Damas. Cox or Damas strikes again. It's a shame. Shame that I can't make money off of it, but whatever.

Also, I saw you tweet the SCP Lunar New Year. That was at the mall we were at where this Din Tai Fung was. So, looking at this picture, right? I just want to let you know, there's so much to see in this photo yes i that's what i'm breaking down here so first off there's flying pigs not just normal pigs there's flying pigs there are several flying pigs that you don't see in that photo many of them all carrying weird things like one has a fish and one has a coin and one has fireworks and one has like one of those good luck ribbon things and one has just like random food is they all have different stuff so yeah and they all look crazed like we're

still we are yeah and so it's like in the center of the mall there's you just go on Twitter Jesse's Twitter if you want to see all this there's a pig sitting on gold coins right yes I see you zoom in on his face he's a weird looking pig way too happy sitting on those gold coins right uh now other things i've noticed in the background it looks like there's a woman taking a picture uh of a guy i think but or herself but there's like a guy that appears in the final zoom in so i don't know if that's like he was behind the pig, or if he just appeared. I want to know why they

would take a picture behind the pig's butt. It doesn't make sense to me. Yeah. I don't get that. Maybe the bag of gold coins, but even then, you know, you're getting the pig's butt there. But, then I noticed if you look at the first picture, there's some kid's face, and he's like, Yes! Yes! That's

why I used the hashtag. Because the hashtag gets you up on that screen. And I wanted the screen to have that picture that just like the pig's eyes glaring at people. Like why is that kid up there? Because the kid took the photo and did a hashtag. There clearly was no filtering. They were just uploading pictures of the hashtag. That's pretty great.

It's very similar to, so one time when we were at, we were filming stuff at the YouTube space in LA. And we noticed that if you included the hashtag, I think it was like YouTube LA space or YouTube space, whatever it was. If you included the hashtag on your Instagram

photos, it would automatically put them in the background. So when you walk in, there's a main screen area. It's huge. Like a front desk, massive screens, and in the background it was posting pictures. And so at the time, we were obsessed with the movie Elysium. Like just trying to

like, we were like, man, that movie, you know, it's a whatever movie, but the whole joke was we were trying to get all the letters for Elysium up on the screen so it would spell it out. And so we were trying to coordinate getting all, it was so dumb. We were putting up pictures of Matt Damon and stuff

and just hashtagging it because I guess no one thought to actually look and see what they were putting up there. So we weren't doing anything dirty. We were actively trying to get all the letters of Elysium. I think the best we did was E, Eliseum or something like that. We tried really hard. Elise, you tried.

And so that's what this was. It was literally just every photo with the hashtag went up there. And I was like, this is amazing. So that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to add to it. I like that. Although I think it's weird that I guess the mall we were in, the initials were SCP. Because SCP is the online database of all those weird anomalies.

And like it's all fan fiction and like creepypastas. But it's that organization that keeps strange artifacts. Have you ever seen that? Have you ever gone to SCP stuff? It's the SCP containment breach games Those games where monsters chase you That's based off of SCP Interesting

International branches of SCP Foundation database is classified Oh shit Yeah so if you go there There are essentially what it is at it's base It is a Collection of really creepy stories But they're not done in story form. They're done in document form.

So basically it's like you would click on SCP, I don't know, 331, whatever the hell that is, and it would be basically a written report about some strange artifact they have in the facility, and it would tell you about what it is, what it does, and it's usually a horror element, right? So there's some SCPs that make you go crazy, and some SCPs that do all sorts of weird things. One of the recent ones I read about was, I think it was SCP-3000, which is off the coast of India, deep in the water, there's basically a, according to, you know, it's all BS, but there's a giant eel-like creature. And as you read through the report, a.k.a. the story, you discover that it is something that never eats.

They've been studying it for years. They, like, have subs that watch it. It's huge. It stretches for miles. It never eats, but when people get close to it, they go crazy, right? Like, when they look into its eyes, they begin to go crazy and then they kill themselves. And so the deduction over time, doing all, if you look through all the tests and things they do, basically what it does is it feeds off, I think it was like either your hope or something that makes you give into despair completely. And that's why people

like kill themselves when they look at it. It's fascinating. It's very weird. And so they have things like that. Or it's, you know, this is a recording from Japan when the atomic bomb dropped. And for some reason it makes your eyes melt. You know, like stuff like that. Yeah. That's creepy shit. If you really dig deep, it's fascinating.

Like it's all fake and all just people created stuff, but some of it's really spooky. Some of it you're like, what the hell? It's a good read. The featured tale is a funeral on Mars. Oh, I see that. In memory of opportunity. Oh, interesting. Oh, this is a featured tale, though.

So this is just like a story someone wrote. So it's not like the documents. Right. If you go, you see SCP database tale, though. So this is just like a story someone wrote. Oh, so it's not like the documents. Right. If you go, you see SCP Database on the side. Yeah. And you'll see it says like Series 1, Series 2, Series 3. Yeah. And Series 1 is literally the oldest ones.

That's like 01 through 999. And what happens is, originally, I don't know what it's like now, but originally, when you could come on this website, like if you go to Series 5, maybe, you could come on here, and like if you go to Series 5 maybe, you could come on here and it would have things that say like access denied. I think if you go to Series 5, it says access denied. Those are ones that have not been written yet. Like no one's taken that number. Because it's all fan written works.

So you go in and you create a new SCP. And they even got like interviews of these things. They're like, we interviewed Dr. Raymond Ham. Yeah, and you can access the interview logs and it goes through the whole thing and you can see what people said and all those interviews so basically, again, it's kind of like if

you know how in the movies they would show aliens landing and like a bunch of crazy shit would happen and then the heroes or whatever would save the day, right? Yeah. This is done from the perspective of say the scientist who is in the background of that movie save the day, right? Yeah. This is done from the perspective of, say, the scientist who is in the background of that movie who's like, oh my god, what is...

And it's all the notes and talking to all the people that interacted with the thing. And then it tells you how to deal with it. Because unlike a movie where the aliens would go away at the end, this is one of those things where we found a ball that when you touch it, it turns people inside out, right? And so it talks about the interviews, and then it gives you tips on how to handle it and what to do with it

and where they store it and, you know, how many people need to be assigned to watching it and things like that. And then tests they've run and all sorts of that kind of stuff. Yeah, that's really cool. I didn't even know that. Yeah, it's interesting. There's a lot of creepypasta stuff there. It's neat.

I don't like getting creeped out, but that's going to be pretty scary. Yeah, that's pretty good. Like, SCP-2 is called The Living Room. The Living Room. And it's literally just like, it resembles a tumorous, fleshy growth with the volume of 2,000 feet cubed. Tumorous, fleshy growth with the volume of 2,000 feet cubed. An iron valve hatch on one side leads to its interior, which appears to be a standard low-rent apartment of modest size.

One wall of the room possesses a single window, though no such opening is visible from the exterior. The room contains furniture, which, upon close examination, appears to be sculpted in bone, woven hair, and various other biological substances produced by the human body. A matter of tested Oh so basically it's just like It's all DNA and it comes from someone But no one knows what So literally it's a big blob that has an apartment inside of it

Oh And to date Subjects have been responsible for disappearing The disappearance of seven personnel It is also in that time Furnished itself further With two lamps, a throw rug, a television, a radio, and a beanbag chair. And three books in an unknown language. Four children's toys in a small potted plant.

Basically, it's like using people to make things for this room. It's very, very weird. You can see all these different, you know, like this guy did this test on it. This guy, you know, weird stuff, right? It doesn't have to be scary. It's just weird. Yeah. And they have all these different, you know, like this guy do this test on it. This guy, you know, weird stuff, right? It doesn't have to be scary. It's just weird. Yeah. And they have all these things in there.

That's like SCP number two. I'll probably look through more of this just randomly then. It's cool. It's very cool. It's very creepy. The games are basically like if you worked at the facility and one of the monsters got loose, which is like, all right, that's fine. But the actual like history

Of what it is and how it's been around on the internet For years and years is fascinating Yeah that's pretty oh it's on Steam Yep Yeah I guess I didn't do anything important this week Other than today When I ate too much dim sum and predicted the future And then uh I don't know

That's it That's all I did That's all I did. That's all you really need to do. You say that. You say that. I did a lot of, look, because people, you're probably going to be like,

Jesse, okay, you said you didn't do anything. What really was your week like? If you want to really truly know, two nights ago, Friday night, I went and, no, last night. Friday night, uh, I went and no last night, Friday night I played, I was supposed to wake up Saturday at 8am, played a civilization with Crandor till 2am. So if you're wondering, that's what happened there. Uh, last night I got home from running errands and stuff during the day, fell asleep at 6 p.m., woke up today at 5 a.m.

So, I mean, that's what I did. I know. I know. I think it's because I got no sleep. Thursday, I worked my butt off all day. Same with Wednesday. And then Tuesday, I had the podcast stuff that I do all Tuesday with all sorts of different stuff. And then Monday, the one free day I had, I went through production stuff for the show we're doing for the Gentleman's Club. So literally all week since our last episode, I either worked or fell asleep.

That's my life. People are like, you must lead a crazy life, Jesse. No, it's not crazy. It's crazy stupid, but not crazy. It's crazy stupid, but not crazy. That's crazy stupid. Yeah, I was so overworked this week. People were like, man, YouTube must be the best life. No, I went to bed at 6

p.m. yesterday. You're like my parents. Yeah, I felt, I passed out on the couch. I put on a record in my delightful new record player. Right. I passed out on the couch I put on a record In my delightful new record player And passed out Here's the thing though I know why

Because I put on I got a thing that is Music from the show Mr. Robot And if you watch that show You know some of the music in the background is like And it's like I think it put me in a trance and knocked me out, because I woke up at five with my head crooked,

like, slobbering on a pillow, sitting on my couch like, what happened? Well, did you, uh, how much sleep do you normally get? I shoot for seven hours a night. That's my objective. I mean, that's pretty good. What do you, were you not getting that? Well, the night before, I stayed up until 2 with you,

and I had to be at a place at 10 a.m., which required me being up at 8. So I was here at the office at 2, drove home, didn't get to bed until 3. At 3, went to bed, woke up at 8. So it's like 5, 4 1⁄2 hours sleep. Yeah, so I got less sleep than I usually do. That's what happened to me that one night we did the podcast with where i had to wake up for bill

the plumber or whatever i only had like four and a half hours sleep and you could tell people like oh it sounds like weatherman crendor and traffic crendor want to just quit their job and i'm like i did i wanted to go to bed yeah uh uh On Thursday night, I was at the office really, really late trying to get stuff rendered because I had a bunch of stuff I needed to get done. Wednesday, I worked literally from 8 a.m. to about 10 p.m.

I had SGS stuff. We had so much stuff we had to do. And then Tuesday, it was podcasts and meetings all day. And Monday, I sat around watching production and stuff. Like, literally, I barely got any sleep. I had to be up at 8 a.m. almost every single day this week. And things, yeah, I didn't get my normal sleep.

Which people are like, well, everyone, I have to get up at 6 a.m. Yeah, you're probably smart and go to bed at a reasonable hour. Me, I was up trying to wait for stuff to render and and then was like, okay, I gotta get up tomorrow. So by the time Saturday hit, I was like, all right, I'm gonna listen to this music. And it was like, and I was like, I was down. I was down.

I was like, I'm somebody who's like, I get five hours a night, and I work in hard construction laser zone. Yeah, you're probably just like younger and more fit and a better person than me. I believe it. I believe there are people out there. Yeah, you're probably just like younger and more fit and a better person than me. I believe it. I believe there are people out there. Yeah, that's not me.

When I was 20, I could go on like two hours of sleep. I didn't need to sleep. I can't tell you how many like 48 hours of wakes I did. What the hell was that? 48 hours of wakes I did. You can't even say numbers. That's true. 48 hours of wakes.

Yeah, that's not me. I couldn't even say numbers. That's true. 48 hours a week. Yeah, that's not me. I couldn't even do that at 20. When I was in college, we would stay up all the time. We'd go out, and then we'd wake up the next day, go to class, come back, and be like, we need to sleep. Oh, crap. We have an exam tomorrow. Study.

Go to the exam, then come back and sleep. Mama mia. Yeah. I get it. Young people can do anything. You and sleep. Mama mia. Yeah. Like, that's, I get it. Young people can do anything. You're invincible. You literally are invincible. But then you hit your 30s.

Yeah. And it all stops, you sons of bitches. It'll happen to you. And it all stops. That's why I ask people for their probiotic recommendations. Did anyone send you any? Yeah. One of them was one.

I've tried a few, but one that someone recommended I started doing, and I'd take it twice a day instead of once a day, and it's actually been helping. All right. That's nice. Well, and then everyone else is like, watch your diet. And I'm like, what are you, my three gastroenterologists? Hello.

They're all like, keep your food diary and they're like oh yeah coffee might be bad and I'm like I'm not gonna quit coffee in me I'll go to the grave with that caffeine pumping through my veins yeah yeah no no one gives me any advice like that instead they're just like, hey, last week you talked about love. Are you lonely? I'm like, no! What? Did you not listen? I literally said I was really excited to just be super single for a while.

And people are like, you okay? Do you need, like, if you want to talk about it? I'm like, no! I am very fine! That's all I got. I was like, guys, it's okay. I'm doing really, really well. This is great. And they're like, hey, it's okay, pal. I'm like, what?

What is happening right now? What is going on? Yeah, that's all I get. At least I guess I should be happy people care, right? I guess we should be happy people are looking out for us because they want this podcast forever. That's true. And when our voices are digitally put into a computer so we don't have to do this again,

it will be forever. Yeah, it'll be one of those things where you can put your voice in and then you type it out and it'll be like, Oh, it's me, Crandor, and I'm here today. Hello, it's me, Jesse Cox and Crandor. Yeah, we'll be like...

We are here today with morning announcements. It's like a school or something. The morning announcements. All right, so did anything else happen, like fun happen to you or are you like me? Was the rest of your life, was it as boring as mine? No, my life is pretty boring. I was realizing how some months go faster than others. February zoomed by. Yeah.

February zoomed by. But then, like, looking through my pictures and stuff on my phone, I'll, like, scroll back and be like, what happened in this month? Then I'm like, oh yeah, it was only two months ago that it was Christmas. Like, literally. I went to my phone the other day, and I was like, I remember getting this message

from this girl one day. When was that? I want to like, I was like trying to find her phone number cause I need to text her about something. And it was like, Hmm. Started scrolling and scrolling.

2019, 2018, 2017, 2016 is the last time I talked to this person. And I was like, what? Oh my god. It seemed like it was yesterday. It seemed like the conversation we had was literally, I was like,

yeah, because I need to know about costume design stuff. So I want to ask a question. 2016 was the last time. Yeah. Couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe it. How long ago was that that it'll be like two three years and i'm like what the shit like it flies now but then some months they just drag on

i think uh i don't know like i feel like november and december they kind of dragged on and now i hit like january february it feels like it flew Yeah, I feel like that's the case with all the beginning of years. Every time, it also has to do with work, right? So when you get caught up in stuff, especially like if you worked, when I worked at like McDonald's, right? Yeah. The day would fly by if it was really busy. I'd go in and be eight hours to be done instantly if it was busy.

But if no one was there, slowest, longest, I feel like that's the case with the beginning of the year because there's been a lot of stuff in the gaming world that's happened yeah and so i feel like we're just over january alone had like a ton of amazing releases happen yeah and then february you're just trying to play catch up you're like oh my god there's so much stuff that came out and so yeah i feel like there was a lot going on i don't know like the holiday seasons also make it seem like a lot happened so it'll be like oh we had thanksgiving we had christmas we had halloween we had blizzcon we had this thing happened we had all these things happened and so it feels like so

much happened and then with like these months it's like you know it feels more like nothing happened because nothing really happened. But you still played games and worked and stuff. Because nothing even happened. I don't know. It's all like your brain. It's the same as when people are like, oh, the beginning of the day went so fast. Then the end of the day goes slower because they're looking at the clock wanting to go home.

So it drags the time out. So, yeah. When you're more aware of it it slows it down When I taught that's what it was like The beginning of the day flew by The last period I was like I can't wait to get rid of these assholes Oh my god I just want to go home

Yeah So uh That's all I've been doing You know what Crandor If there's one thing that's going to make your day a little bit better, it's starting it off right. Starting your day off right. And you know the best way to start your day?

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It is one of the first electronic toothbrushes accepted by the American Dental Association and has thousands of verified five-star reviews. Y'all, it really works. I use it every single day. I use mine too every single day, and it's great. I love it. And it's one of those things where you really feel the difference in cleanliness. The only thing I would say, in addition, brush your tongue too.

Brush that tongue. You may not think you should, brush it. It's even got like little rubbery side scraper things. It helps brush it. I like that. And then I went to the dentist like a few weeks ago and he was like, hey, you're good. No cavities. It must be working.

Yeah. That's one of the few things in you that's not falling apart your teeth. I know. Thanks to Quip for you. Right now, you can see why 20,000 dental professionals are in love with this because for just

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It's actually really cool. I use it every single day, and you can use it too. Stop using those boring old toothbrushes get on the level get 2019 get a nice electronic toothbrush brush your teeth real good Also Crandor we're brought to you today by Indochino Indochino menswear now Indochino that's right Indochino. It's pronounced in dough like you're in dough like dough Ch. Indochino. It's pronounced Indoh, like you're in-do, like doh. Chino. Indochino.

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you ain't going back. Indochino.com promo code COX today. Oh, I should have done that. I should have done the thing you do. Indochino.com promo code COX It's hard to do that. It's hard to do that. I told you, it's not that easy. Yeah, you're a good hype man.

Okay, Crandor, let's go to do that. I told you it's not that easy. Yeah, you're a good hype man. Okay, credo Let's go to chop the government's ground. How's that driving out there? Hey? Traffic looking still kind of crazy. There's ice all over the roads. There's snow. It's snowing everywhere now There's ice in the northwest the southwest the southeast the we the Midwest the north we left the north we it's all west east So what's the west east it's every week um and west-east? The west-east? It's everywhere. The west-east. And there's ice, there's snow, there's rain. It's getting crazy out there. So watch out on those roads because it's getting a little tricky.

We've got to wait for a few more months until we get those nice summer temperatures getting back in. Or just late spring. Just, you know, being able to open those windows and doors up again. Get some nice fresh air going out there and not slipping all over the road. Back to you. Thanks, Crandor. Now let's go over to Crandor with the weather.

How's our weather? Weather. It's snowy and icy, but what about if we put in a random zip code? Four, six, four, five, two, one. How about nine?

How about restart? Six, four, five, four, six. How about nine? How about restart? Six, four, five, four, six. How about restart? Morfeld in Waldorf, Hessen, Deutschland. I don't know how to say it. Woppy, take over. Germany? Woppy activated.

Morfeld in Waldorf, Germany. 33 degrees Fahrenheit. Partly cloudy. Feels like 27 degrees Fahrenheit. High, 58 degrees Fahrenheit. Partly cloudy. Feels like 27 degrees Fahrenheit. High, 58 degrees Fahrenheit. Low, 31 degrees Fahrenheit. UV index, zero of 10 today. 58 degrees.

Winds, light, and variable. Tight night, 31 degrees. Tuesday, 62 degrees Fahrenheit. 10% chance. And variable. Tuesday night, 32 degrees Fahrenheit, 10% chance. Invariable. Tuesday night, 32 degrees Fahrenheit, 10-day forecast, 50s, rain. Shit, dude. Germany's nicer than here.

And variable. And variable. That's the weather. All righty. Let's go to sports. Sports. Fun stuff coming up over at the sports desk. You got hockey. A lot of battling for the last playoff spot over in the Western Conference of the NHL.

The St. Louis Blues came out of nowhere. Trade deadlines have hit. A whole bunch of stuff going on in hockey. The St. Louis Blues came out of nowhere. Trade deadlines have hit. A whole bunch of stuff going on in hockey. Also basketball. Believe it or not, the LeBron James Lakers are not in the playoffs if the playoffs started today. LeBron is not being able to carry this shitty Lakers team. And not good for him. The Bulls have actually won three in a row as well. I've been watching some Bulls games. They've been fun to watch again when they don't get blown out by 20 points. So who knows where they'll go.

And top teams right now still the Golden State Warriors and the Milwaukee Bucks. The other top team with Giannis. I can't even say his last name. It's like Attentatacupo. Dude's crazy. He's got like a 10-foot wingspan.

He can like dunk from everywhere. You know what? Can I ask you a question? How come in sports it's cool to call it a wingspan, but it's just like how far he can stretch his arms? Yeah, it's a wingspan. But he doesn't have wings. Why do they keep saying that?

Michael Jordan had wings, man. He flew. All right, roasted. You got me. You win. Yeah, I'm a fool. Oh, that man did fly. Yeah, man. He flew. All right, roasted. You got me. You win. Yeah, I'm a fool. Oh, that man did fly. Yeah, I'm a fool.

Yeah. So, yeah, it's kind of a weird top four teams. Golden State, who's always there. Denver Nuggets, the other top team over in the West. And then Milwaukee and Toronto. Got some random teams. And Indiana in third. Some crazy stuff over there.

And then the Knicks broke their 18 game losing streak today uh and beat san antonio good for you knicks you're still bad um and uh that's sports all right what is our big news story of the day big news story of the day um somebody sent us one on twitter but i don't know if it's real because it's from one of those websites that I think have the satirical news or something. Is it themirror.co.uk? I think The Mirror's a real place, right? Is it real? Now you're making me go look up The Mirror. I don't know.

The Intelligent tabloid. Granddad downs half a pot of paint, mistaking it for yogurt, and has no regrets. I like it. You know what? I like it. All right. Maybe it is real. I don't know at this point.

A 90-year-old granddad has somehow managed to drink half a can of paint with no adverse side effects whatsoever please don't drink paint everyone don't drink paint not only that but whereas the rest of us might be feeling a little off color he remains unfazed alex stein from new york last week posted about her granddad bobby who loves yogurt bobby had mistaken a can of mint green paint for his favorite food item and downed half of it. Alex discovered the half empty can of paint and Bobby complete with mint

green mouth and posted a photo of him with the caption, so my grandpa ate half a quart of paint today thinking it was yogurt. Is there a link to this? Hold on. Where's the photo? First off, here's the photo. thinking it was yogurt. Is there a link to this? Hold on. Hold on. Where's the photo?

First off, here's the photo. That's just the paint. Oh, my God. You got to click it. It literally says measure right paint. It's like, what? You got to click it. Alex Stein.

And you'll see. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah. It's all over him. Oh, it's all over him. How did... Okay.

I'll finish it. Speaking to Mail Online, she explained, when I say he loves yogurt, he lives for yogurt. My mom buys at least seven quarts of vanilla dian and yogurt a week alex added my grandpa has always loved entertaining people he doesn't care whether people are laughing at him or with him but what does bobby make of it all take an instagram to give his version of events he wrote apparently i ate paint this morning shit honestly tastes better than yogurt so no regrets poison control laughed me, but they said I'll be fine.

Oh my god. He looks exactly like I want him to look. I know. He looks lost. Unreal. Unreal. He's so silly looking. He looks like he got lost.

And then just like pounds of paint. It's so silly looking. He looks like he got lost. And then just like pounds of paint. Shit's better than you. Oh my god. I think he had to have been drinking. No way he didn't do that if he wasn't drinking. Ah fuck it.

That shit looks good. He does look like he's the kind of grandpa who just drink. But I don't even care. It's so funny. It's like one of those things. He's like power drinking. He's like eating paint. And he's still like 90 and going.

And he's like, ah, whatever. There are videos of him on here. There's so many. Apparently he made a It's so many. Apparently he made a, it's Bobby bitch. Wait, hold on. That's not his real thing. Is it? That can't be.

That can't be. Oh, man. That is the photo. It's at Alex Stein with three N's. S-T-E-I-N-N-N. Yeah. And straight up, it is the pinned tweet at the top, and it is so, he's covered in it.

His lips are completely painted, and he's covered in paint. I like the idea that he, like, it got on him, he tried to, like, wipe it off off And it just got even more on him I know Oh my god This is This is Well this is the image for today's

Yeah That's gotta be Save image Yeah this is today's Episode image This guy is a warrior Unreal Oh this guy's my hero

Literally my hero Yeah This guy is Holy crap that's funny This guy's my hero literally my hero yeah this guy's crap that's that's great oh okay yeah uh that was that was delightful do we have any other follow-up to that or is that it i mean that's it there's this other story about florida men putting drugs in lunchables but wait a minute hold on is it a real story or is this fake no it's a real story like they just let's see recently the Oscar Mayer snack was used for something unrelated to eating two Zephyr Hills Florida men were arrested in Ohio earlier this month however being found with more than $84,000 worth of cocaine stuffed inside Lunchable boxes. The Ohio State... Oh, so it wasn't like they were trying to put Lunchables in a thing for kids.

No, they just were smuggling shit into wherever with Lunchables. That's what I was saying. It's not like the greatest. I thought it had some hope to it, and then it was just like, oh, they're just doing that. But you're not going to compete

with the grandpa eating paint. No amount of coke is going to beat out of grandpa eating paint. Sorry. Sorry, drug dealers. Grandpa's eating paint stole your thunder. Yeah. No amount of coke is going to beat a grandpa eating paint.

Mm-hmm. None. I think that's it. Alright, well that's it for us thank you so much for watching or listening or however you're enjoying this podcast but uh hit them with socials we've got youtube.com slash cox and crendor if you want to see cox and crendor animations

we've got youtube.com slash cox and crendor podcast all one word if you want to go to youtube and see these on youtube or listen to them on youtube we've got soundcloud.com slash cox and crendor spotify We're on Spotify. We're on iTunes. We're on all over. I just hit myself in the face trying to do some weird hand motion. Also, Twitter.com slash Jesse Cox. Twitter.com slash Crandor. Facebook.com slash Jesse Cox, I think. Facebook.com slash Crandor. I don't even know if it's on Facebook..com slash Jessica Cox YouTube.com slash Crandor And twitch.tv slash Jessica Cox

Twitch.tv slash Crandor Google us Watch our stuff, watch our streams, watch our videos Watch our podcast, listen to our podcast Share it with your friends, family, your grandpa Eat and paint, your lunchables Your weatherman Share them all over

If you want to hear us we'll be back with another episode. So, as always, beep. To be continued.