Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 188 - Bacon, Eggs, and Bigfoot

Episode Date: March 18, 2019

It's time for some more goofs and witch like cackles! Jesse and Crendor decide to create a university and it's as terrible of an idea as it sounds. Also Jesse gets caught in a fight at a gas station and Crendor regales us with more of his dreams. All this, and a hunt for Bigfoot on this exciting episode of Cox n' Crendor! Get 15% off your first pair at http://meundies.com/crendor Buy your Health + Ancestry Service kit at http://23andme.com/cox

Today's episode is brought to you by me undies. Oh, they sent me more stuff and I'm wearing them right now and I love them. And me too. And by 23andMe, get the information that's going to unlock your personal history and your health and all the traits that define who you are. Dig deep, my friends. I don't know what just happened there. It became like, welcome to the cauldron.

That's kind of like what DNA is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. This is Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-Hour Reporting Studio. Recorded. Hello everybody and welcome to another exciting episode of Cat's Inconvenient Door of the Morning. Hey! Hey! Welcome.

I thought you were becoming like DMX. Second door of the morning. Hey, hey, welcome. I thought you were becoming like DMX. By the way, I listened to the, I guess the playable version. The clean version, I guess is what you would call it. The clean version of X Gonna Give It To Ya. Is it like the kids bop version or something? I mean, it could be. I would love to hear kids singing that song. What is it?

I mean, it could be. I would love to hear kids singing that song. What is it? It's every time he says any swear or the N word or anything, it just goes, or it has something comes over. It's like a wop, wop. Like there's another noise in there. Here we go.

Run a wop, wop again. The kids bought versions. They always just replace everything with like candy man. Gonna give it, what, what, again. The Kidz Bop versions, they always just replace everything with like, Candyman gonna give it to you. He brings candy. Here we go. He's got chip soy and Oreo. Let's go and give it to your Candyman. That sounds great.

That sounds like a great, that sounds like a fantastic version of that song. Yeah, they do that all the time. I remember Disney, when I was a kid, I heard the Kidz Bop version of the, like, Lubega, where there's, like, a little bit of Monica, but then they replace it with, like, a little bit of Goofy, a little bit of Mickey. Like, he does all the Disney characters. That's creepy if he doesn't, like,

that's weird. That's the weird version of that. But then you really think, yeah, he's, like, trying to get with all the Disney characters. It's kind of weird. That's the weird version of that. But then you really think, yeah, he's like trying to get with all the Disney characters. It's kind of weird. Yeah. If the rest of the lyrics are the same, I think he banged Goofy. It's what I think happened. Ew.

Oh, yuck. Garsh. Oh, garsh. Oh, garsh. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. What have you been doing? Oh, gosh. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. What have you been doing?

Oh, my God. So on the way to film this, went to go get gas. I was at the gas station sitting there pumping gas, just like minding my own business. A car pulls up, and another car pulls up immediately after it, right? Mm-hmm. And this girl gets out of the passenger side and starts screaming at the other car. Mind you, I'm just like, pumping gas. Everything's okay.

Great. Girl jumps out, starts screaming at the other car. The driver's side of the car that pulled up behind them, girl jumps out. They start screaming at each other. I don't know what the hell they're saying. They're just yelling at each other in such high-pitched, angry voices. I can barely make out half of what they're saying, but I think they were yelling about the

driver of the first car, which I think is one of their boyfriends, and it's probably like a two-girls-one-guy kind of situation. They're screaming at each other. An old lady pulls up, sees it, and pulls away. Doesn't even stop me, Kath. I'm sitting there. I gotta

get $55 worth of gas into the same thing. I am on, like,, gas. I'm sitting there. I gotta get $55 worth of gas into the same thing. I am on like $13. I'm like, mm-mm. I should not be here right now. This is about to pop off. I'm not going to be doing this. Then the manager, the store manager, the gas station manager runs out and is just like,

what are you doing? Get out of here. You're scaring away the customers. Yelling at these two. And they turn and they start to yell at this old man. And then the guy gets out and he's like, you leave them alone. You leave them alone. So now it's a four-way fight.

It's crazy. And I'm just like, $35. Got to keep going. The entire time I have that song, it's like, you know, like, fuck this shit. I'm out. That song. It's in my head. I'm just like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, gotta get out of here right now.

It's starting to, like, escalate. The gas, I'm done pumping. Put it back on the thing. Get my receipts. I would have loved it. It's like a comedy bit. Like, get my receipt, patiently wait for it to print out. Like, okay.

Put it in my pocket, get in the car, drive off. Just don't even acknowledge what's going on. Didn't even acknowledge it. Just drove off. Was like, mm-mm. Not getting involved. Don't want to even talk about it. Just going to go.

Oh, my God. It was wild. I was like, this town. This town never disappoints. It is constantly crazy. Every time I've been there, at least one crazy thing has happened. Yeah, that's kind of the way it works. That's what happens when you put too many self-esteem, high ego people in one area.

I would say undeservedly high ego people. Yeah. I think that's the key. A lot of people that have high egos that have done nothing to earn them, they just think they're hot shit, but they are constantly just flaunting it to everyone, and they bump heads, and it goes off. And you're just like, why are you fighting?

Wait, the two of you are fighting over this guy? No! No, you should be yelling at the guy, not each other! And why is the gas station... No, stop yelling at the gas station manager! You're just ruining his business! You're the problem here! No, instead I was just like, mm-mm, just gonna get in my car and I'm gonna

get out of here. It's the same people that probably went there to become a big shot. And now they just work at Jim Bob's Coffee Emporium. And so they're just like, yeah, I'm going to be on TV one day. And you're like, uh, all right. Yeah, you can do it. I believe in you. Yeah, you can do it. I'm believing you. Yeah, yeah.

I had a conversation with a guy in Hollywood who was the 7-Eleven, not a, I guess, attendant, I don't know, cashier. I don't know what you are at 7-Eleven. Because I guess you work the gas and you work the I don't know the roles. 7-11 guy. I was talking with him and he's like, yeah, yeah. I moved out here from Michigan. It's going to be a big break. I'm really excited. I was like, oh, wow.

What are you doing? How are you getting out there? How are you doing stuff? Because I love to ask questions of people who want to talk to me. I don't know why. If you want to talk to me, I'm in for finding out about your life and then mocking it on this show. So this guy's talking to me, and he's like, yeah, you know, I came out here from Michigan. I'm really excited to be here.

I've been at it for 17 months, and I feel like if I don't hit it big by the time I'm 25, then I think, you know what, it's probably time for me to call it quits and get a real job. I was like, that's kind of responsible of you. And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, so how many years you got left? He's like, six months. I got six months. And I was like, oh, bro. Now it's sad. Now it's sad. That's a big oof. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Go into L.A. It's like, I feel like it's the big dream of everybody that would be like, you know, I'm headed out to the big city, and I'm going to do the thing. But, like, it seems like a movie type of thing where in the movies, like, they do it, and they become a big star, and you're like, wow, like, they did it. But then in reality, like, the vast majority of people go there, big star and you're like wow like they did it but then in reality like the vast majority of people go there and they become you know drug addicts or uh yelling at a gas station or yeah you'll be surprised about the amount of times i hear people involved in the influencer world or in the youtube

or twitch world involved in some crazy stuff like i'm not gonna name any names but i'm sure if you just dig around enough, you'll find out some stuff that happens. Every once in a while, I'll just hear, yes, do you hear this guy? Yeah, I guess he just has crazy orgies at his house all the time. I'm like, what? Ain't nobody inviting me to no orgies?

God damn, I wish I hung out. It all happens in Hollywood. I don't live in Hollywood. I live sort of on the west end, so I'm more near Santa Monica and Venice. Everyone there is just like, hey, man Hollywood I don't live in Hollywood I live sort of on the west end So I'm more near Santa Monica Everyone there is just like You don't have any drugs do you man That's what that is In Hollywood everyone who lives in Hollywood

Is like yeah so I'm going to this Multifunctional, multirelational Multiracial, multireligious orgy So you know I won't be around this week Make sure you bring one head of cabbage and three carrots. You're like, what? Why?

Oh, it's also a potluck, so orgy and potluck? But very specific type of potluck. You wouldn't understand if you were not part of it. Yeah, I went to this club and we all got really high on ecstasy and then, like, after we were done, we all went back to my place and all just stared at each other's wieners. And I'm just like, what is happening?

No one invites me to do any of this. This is what happens when you run the old farts to the internet. No one cares. No one invites. Here I am. Here I am, ready to show everyone my wiener. I'm like, let's do it. Come on, invite me.

I'll do that. They're like, we're show everyone my wiener. I'm like, let's do it. Come on, invite me. I'll do that. They're like, we're going to pass. You're not hip. You're not hip anymore. I'm the least hip among us. Yeah. I'm so not hip, I probably won't break one. I just, oh, my hip.

Yeah. Well, that's Hollywood. Yeah, that's Hollywood for you. Oh, my God. There's March Madness is coming up, and I was thinking of all the college fight songs, and I was thinking, what would our college fight song be? If we...

Whoa, this is a loaded question. There's a lot here. Okay. First off, we have to have a college. Okay, that's true. So what is our college? Cox and Crenn University. Cox and Crenn University?

Yeah. All one word? Yeah, all one word. I don't feel like this is going to go over well. Are we a for-profit or a non-profit college? Oh, we're We're one of those Hybrids

We're a hybrid? So we're like Phoenix Online University Yeah, we're like ITT Tech So we're like, you know, we exist We're not actively trying to rip you off But if we can, we will Yeah, we're like ITT Tech. So we're like, you know, we exist. We're not actively trying to rip you off, but if we can, we will. Yeah, exactly. Okay. But we also have a basketball team at our school.

Yeah. Okay, sure. Yeah, and we're in March Madness. Yeah, we're in March Madness. And then every year we'll have one specific class. Then you can take that class. That's the only class we offer.

We offer one? Hold on. We offer one class a year and we have a basketball team. I don't know. I feel like this school is very bad. It's a terrible school. Wait, what? Yeah.

What's wrong with that? What would our class be? All right, so this year, 2019, what is our class? This year's class is called Fishing, Hiking, and Pottery, the things you didn't know. And that's all we're teaching. Yeah. To our 25-man basketball team.

Yes. That's all they're going to learn this year. Yeah, if you get accepted, you have to take that class, and then you can join the basketball team. How many days a week does that class meet? Once for eight hours. Once for eight hours? for eight hours yeah what the hell wait once a week for eight hours yeah what do they do the rest of the week basketball no wonder we're in march madness

they're very good they practice all the time and our coach Our coach will be It's gotta be One of our like band of characters Right right right It'll be like we'll have one of the Yule Lads One of the Mud Brothers Figgy Pudding Figgy Pudding

And then some guy from Florida Spoon Licker And Guy Hero are the coaching staff. Guy Hero. Mm-hmm. I like it. They are very good at what they do. However, it's weird that Figgy Pudding, I think, is the Deadmonth brother, so he's never around. Yeah.

I think is the dead month brother So he's never around And Spoonlicker only shows up around Christmas time Which is awkward because all the students Have gone home And Guy Hero's not real So I don't think they're actually using any coaching staff So gotta give a lot of credit to the students

For keeping that team going That's true well we need like a real coach So I think for that We probably bring in we have to hire a guy named like thad channing leviticus all right let me take a look thad channing leviticus is a terrible name but a great coach thad channing leviticus. Well, maybe not Leviticus. Thad Channing, find me a good one.

Thad Channing. Cynthia Thaddeus. Cynthia Thaddeus. You know what? Why can't we have a female coach? Cynthia Thaddeus is our coach. She's great. She's so good.

Yes, we'll bring in Cynthia Thaddeus. We're going to have to change your last name. It's too difficult to say. Cynthia Smith is your new name now. Possible. Wait, possible. This is just like one of those people things. Cynthia's relatives include Thaddeus Law.

Oh, my God. That sounds like a law firm. Thaddeus Law sounds like. Have you been hit by a car? Have you been hit by a car? Have you been hit by a train? Thaddeus Law is here for you. Thad Castle. Thad Castle is like a white castle, except it's an off-brand one,

but they didn't want to replace the white, so they put T-H-A-D. Thaddeus Ansley. I think Thaddeus Law is a great name. Thaddeus Law. Thaddeus Law sounds like a guy who would kick your ass. There's 90 records for Thaddeus Law. There's a whole bunch of Thaddeus Laws. If I was going to write a book about a grizzled, tough detective, his name would be Thaddeus Law.

And then it would be called Thaddeus' Laws or something like that. That would be book number one. Right? Yes. And people would be like, wow, he's great. And then Tom Cruise would play him in a movie and he'd just be like, he'd have his own rules. And the cops would be like, you're a loose cannon, Thaddeus. He was like, I am the law.

Oh, my God. It'd be great. This is perfect. I love it. Yeah. So that's the basketball coach. And then every year we get eliminated very fast. But everyone's like, wow, who's that team?

Why are they always here? Yeah. Why are they always here? And why do they remind us of a Gonzaga? Shout outs to Gonzaga, wherever you're at. Gonzaga is like an actual good school. Yeah, but their name is silly, so, you know.

Gonzaga. Gonzaga. Where is Gonzaga? That's what I'm saying. I don't think it's real. Huh. Let me check. Gonzaga? That's what I'm saying. I don't think it's real. Huh. Let me check. Gonzaga. Is it like in New York?

West Coast Conference. Oh, so it's in the West Coast. Probably in Washington. Gonzaga is the far east of Washington near Montana. Wow. See, there you go. No wonder I've never heard. Yeah.

The only time I associate myself with Gonzaga is during March Madness. After that, don't care. Just don't care. Yeah. I love March Madness. It's always fun because you don't have to know anything about college basketball to make a thing. You just pick names and be like,

let's go with the bulldogs over the pepperdine pepperidge farm or uh you know you just look through be like oh i'll take this as my underdog pick and then you just roll with it but i like to go a little in depth where i'll be like let's see they got this guy he's pretty good throw him in so i'll get like the top 30 players in college basketball and usually pick their teams uh So I do slightly above average, but not very well. I pick based on mascots, like slugs or ducks. Weird stuff.

Who's the slugs? Oh my god. One of the teams is the slugs. And I also choose based off of the ability to defeat the other mascots. So obviously the Blue Devils have the power of Satan, so they're very strong.

Very strong. Right? Unless, you know, you have to have, like, the Paladins as a team mascot if you're really going to take on the Blue Devils. So you've got to get in there and really, like, do it. Blue Devils also got Zion Williamson. Yeah. I don't know who that is. If I don't know who that is.

If you don't know who that is, Zion Williamson's, like, the biggest college athlete, like, coming out since probably, like, LeBron. See? Powered by Satan. Exactly. The dude. Obviously devil. He's like the next Shaquille O'Neal. Like, he's, but he's, like, very athletic.

Oh, so he's, like, 12 feet tall. He's, like, 6, uh, tall. He's like 6'10", like 300 pounds. Damn! And he moves very fast, which is why he's crazy. Everyone's trying to get him for the NBA, but right now he's just destroying college.

You know what? What year is he? He's a freshman. Oh, alright. I was hoping that was going to be one of those things where he was like Yeah, he's destroying college And he wants to keep destroying college And he's only like, you know, 18 But he's killing it and he's going to go back to college for another year

I have a feeling they're going to be like We'll pay you 12 billion dollars Screw you college Makes me so sad They used to be able to go straight from high school To the NBA But now you have to play at least one year of college Makes me so sad. They used to be able to go straight from high school to the NBA, but now you have to play at least one year of college.

So now everybody just plays one year of college, then they go to the NBA. That's heartbreaking. They should do all four years. Do you want to come back, or do you want to go to the NBA and make like half a million? Half a million? They're making more than that. Yeah.

Especially if you're 300 pounds superstar yeah so that's uh that's a thing um but yeah that's always fun march madness and then uh oh yeah what would our college fight song be that That's how he... Oh, yeah. We got to do that. Our fight song would be... Hey there, people who went to our one class at our university. All right. You can't start with the lyrics. And we have got a team who play lots of basketball. If you know what I mean, they're good and not at all bad. And if you don't like them, we will come and get you because they are our friends.

All right. As much as that was very good. That was a great song. You can't start with lyrics because then you destroy the rhythm. The rhythm's all that matters. You got to be like... You just want the horns that like.

You know what? Every song, no matter what, has to end with. Every song. So it doesn't matter as long as you got that catchy of the horns playing that. Everybody could be like, we have a team and we don't care what we sing. You just got to, as long as it does that. Anybody can make up their own lyrics. Yeah, but I feel like our lyrics separate us. We don't have music at all, just lyrics.

We don't have anything. We don't have a band. We just have people who sing. We really don't have anything. Yeah, we have a choir made up of people who took our choir class last year. Yeah. Yeah. anything yeah we have a choir made up of people who took our choir class last year yeah yeah and they are contractually obligated to show up for at least four years yeah once you're in the school you're in forever that's how it works and by forever we mean four years because we can't

contractually keep you forever yeah we may not be a school in five. We are skirting the law. So, yeah. That would be our college. Yep, yep. I want to ask what else has been going on with you, but I'm afraid what you'll say. I don't know. It really is not that much this week.

I tweeted out my, like, buff door thing. That got a lot of likes. I saw it. All I saw was your one buff arm, and the entire time I kept thinking of Trogdor, and then I kept thinking of Crendor, and now I want people to make an animated video where it's Crendor! And it's just you with one buff arm

running around burning the countryside. Dan could probably do it in like two hours. Burn a day, take the countryside. Dan could probably do it in like two hours. Burn the countryside. It's just you with a buff arm just spitting fire. Burn the countryside. Crandor. It's Crandor. Yeah.

It's perfect. Yeah, I question why one arm, you only showed the one arm photoshopped. That's just your head on a photoshopped arm. I didn't want to do both arms. That doesn't make any sense. That's not a photoshopped arm. It's just a head on an arm. I didn't want to do both arms.

Then you do the like, like you're doing the Hulk or something. I didn't want to do that. Whatever. No way. That would look great. Then you'd be like super buff. People would be like like oh my God I feel like the picture also makes my arm look bigger

From the angle I feel like that's the like my space trick people do like let me get the good angle I didn't actually intend for that, but I just did that cuz I was like hey I'll do this and then I was like whoa that actually looks are you doing are you doing it right now yes i'm trying to are you often just like flex down just to be like yeah look at this the thing about being so skinny is that just in general when you get muscles they look bigger than like if you were like a bigger person because you're so skinny there's like no skin all right thanks it's just like they start popping out you're like hey look at me i'm slightly above average normal human strength after being crippled grandma popping out they start popping out they start popping out that's all I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know? It is what it is. I did have a dream I wrote down. Okay. It just says, Christian concert weed, just want to sleep. Are you sure that was a dream? Sounds pretty lifelike. All I remember from that dream is I was in a hotel room in a church and

i just wanted to sleep but they were like we gotta take apart the rooms for the daily concert and i was like no i want my room because i want to sleep why did i stay here and then they started taking it apart and i just like wandered around and then i couldn't sleep and i was like oh my god it's getting so late i just want to sleep it's like 8 a. oh, my God, it's getting so late. I just want to sleep. It's like 8 a.m., 9 a.m. It's like a new day. Everybody's got to stay up. And then they were like, all right, put the rooms back together. And that's all I remember.

Renting this Airbnb at a church was a terrible idea. So that was the thing. And then, oh, my God, I had a dream today. What? Right now? Just now? No no i just remembered it now we're like one of those like i woke up and i was like i'll sleep 20 more minutes and then you have a crazy dream uh it was this dream where like this this lady was like sitting in a park and then uh there's this like weird guy running around and he was just like running around like literally running out of the park and

everyone was like what's what's he doing and then he ran over to the lady and then she ate him like a Titan like attack on Titan ate him what happened to you do pizza what is it what I don't know like a pizza dream what I was like what the shit and then I went and made a bacon and eggs well you know what maybe that's what you were thinking about cuz they run around and bacon it kind of looks like a Titan yeah so and so you're thinking like man I want bacon and eggs it probably was because i was getting pretty hungry all right there you go oh my god i forgot all about bacon because i don't really like the bacon that much but this is how you know i'm fat i would never

forget about bacon ever you could never get me to forget about it i i realize it exists every time i do anything so like the thing is, I was like, bacon will probably irritate my digestion because a lot of things irritate my digestion. But I saw the bacon is like one of those Applegate bacons. They had it on sale. So I was like, I'll buy some good bacon on sale. Bought it.

It was very good. And I ate it. And I ate an egg. And I felt great. And I was like, dude, I actually feel really good. And so I it and I ate an egg and I felt great. And I was like, dude, I actually feel really good. And so I've been doing that every day. And I remember the gas. How much bacon did you

eat? Two strips. Whoa. Okay. You are moderate in your consumption of bacon. Why would you eat like four, five? You know what? I wouldn't ever cook myself that. But if I was somewhere where someone made a lot of bacon and I, you know, two strips is the solid bacon choice, right?

Right. Two strips, get yourself an egg, maybe some toast. Depends on how you eat that egg. You know, that kind of thing. Yeah. If there was extra bacon, I'd take that extra bacon. I'm not, you know, if someone was like, there's a few strips left, I'd be like, you know, I'll help with that. But, but you're all, there's a few strips left, I'd be like, yo, I'll help with that. But,

but you're also, it's like, bacon's expensive. I'm not going to eat it all in one go. Right. No, I would never like, if I was by myself,

I'd never just cook it all. Cause that makes no sense. I'd use as much as I need and be done. Yeah. So what I do is I cook the bacon and then I empty out out the grease in, like, a jar so it cools down. Oh, you save the bacon grease. Yeah. Or you can use it for whatever you want.

And then the pan's already, like, got some bacon grease, and then I cook the egg in that. I can see that being very, very good. It is. Man. I saw a lady cook. She did bacon. She kept the grease in the pan, and she cooked something else in it and made like a, I want to say a cornbread maybe.

But it was like delicious. It was so good. But this was years ago, and I've always wanted to do it, and I forgot what it was, so there you go. Do things sooner rather than later, kids. Or you'll be like me on a podcast trying to remember something and totally forgetting. Well, that's like my gastro doctors would always be like, keep a food diary. Write down what irritates you.

And I was like, I don't need to do that. But then I started doing it, and I was like, wow, these specific things do irritate my digestion. And so every time I used the oils, like I mentioned a few weeks ago, it would irritate my digestion. And so every time I used like the oils, like I mentioned a few weeks ago, it would irritate me, like all the canola oils and all those things. And then I try the bacon grease and I felt fine. In fact, I felt better than fine. Like I felt like I was actually healing.

Well, that's because it's straight up just like canola oil. I don't use canola oil often. Unless a recipe specifically calls, like says like you have to use it, I don't use canola oil often. Unless a recipe specifically calls, like says you have to use it, I won't use it. Because I, like the corn-based fructose-y stuff, I do not like. It is

too much for me. But, like, yeah, bacon grease is just melted fat. At that point, you can't get much more natural than that. So, like olive oil that. Like olive oil? I dig olive oil. I like olive oil, yeah.

I don't know. There's only so much... I get it. I think your doctors are right. That's one of those things where I keep going to all these different doctors being like, so what do I do? And they're just like, well, how about you change what you're eating? And I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.

What? Yeah, I noticed a lot of gassy things like broccoli. That'll irritate me. I can eat like a couple of broccolis, but I can't overeat the broccoli. Yo, have you ever been to Din Tai Fung? No. I wonder if it's a chain outside of LA. It probably is.

It's like a very upscale dim sum place that usually is in malls, especially here in LA. And it is very good. They do a lot of soup dumplings and that kind of thing. But ignoring all of the more Asian dishes there, they literally just do a garlic broccoli. Oh, wow. I ate that and just was so happy. I've never been happy just eating broccoli.

I want to say I almost ate the whole bowl. I was just like, oh, my God. It was so good. I love broccoli. Love it. I love it. Wowee. Yeah.

Oh, speaking of which, I made stir fry the other night. It was great. I made a veggie stir fry. There was no meat. I felt very good about it. I was very happy. Yeah. Yeah. I like stir fry. Stir fry is meat. I felt very good about it. I was very happy. I like stir fries. Stir fries are good too. Oh my god.

They told me to follow the FODMAPs. People in chat and Twitch and people say that they don't eat too many FODMAPs. So that's like dairy, a lot of beans or broccoli or onions or garlic apparently because they're all very gassy and they mess up your diet. Oh yeah yeah you have to eat like

a weird diet yeah because i'm not only a gallbladder i can have my soul the whole point is that you can't like overeat those things you can have a little of them but you can't over like if i eat chipotle is it's over i think that's for everyone. Everyone feels that way. But I used to be able to eat it, but now I can't. Plus, I also got the IBS and the gastritis. But they've been doing better recently. Ever since I started eating the bacon and eggs, I've felt better. It's very weird.

And I don't know. This goes back to everyone having a different diet they need to have. Yeah. For some people, bacon and eggs will kill them. But for you, it's like making you better. Yeah. But I only eat two strips. That's it. And I don't overcook it,

but I don't undercook it. You get a nice, like medium ground or you get like a nice light crisp, but you don't want to like burn it. What would happen if you ate McDonald's every day? Would it make you stronger?

Supersize me. I think you might become strong. It's possible. Well, yeah. I looked it up, and I was like, is bacon actually healthy? And they said meats tend to be very nutritious. Bacon's no exception. It has vitamins B1, 2, 3, 5, 6, and 12.

I was low in B vitamins a few years ago. So that's probably part of it uh it has the same healthy fat as olive oil uh and it's got iron magnesium zinc potassium uh the thing is there are people be like it's also got these other things that are bad, listen, I don't care. I'm sacrificing that to feel good. So I don't care. If I can feel good one way, I'm going to feel good the one way. And, you know, that's life. Yeah, absolutely.

Like exercising. It helps my digestion. It helps everything. But now I, like, strain my neck. I strain my shoulder and my back part. So now I got to, you know, that but that's the that's what you'd get you trade off you know what a very positive outlook you have yeah and then I think the most important thing you just keep track of it all you know you

keep getting blood tests to keep getting your your skeins and blood pressures and everything like that you know you say you stay uh stay aware you're gonna live to be 200 years old a very that's what i said all right my family's all like 90 but they all have like little annoyances and like things like i have i too. I also have stomach irritation. I also got this. Everybody's just like 90, but like falling apart 90. But they've been falling apart their whole lives. I look forward to haunting you. It's going to be great. Ghost in Crendor in the morning. And I'm just like, ooh.

You're like, hey, hey everybody it's grendor hold on my emf's picking up signals he says hey what's up how you doing i'm doing pretty good dude what if by then we have like super ghost readers they can read again ghosts are saying. Again, I don't think that's real. I don't think any of that's real. What if by then we have ghost readers? Screw you. Ghost readers.

What if then, what if by then we have ghost readers? Yeah, like at some point in the future we're going to develop a technology that's going to be like oh, I can talk to ghosts now hold on let me text grandpa No never happening Um Listen I don't know

I'm going to eat my bacon I'm going to keep my thing And I'm going to eat the thing and it makes me feel good So I'm going to keep eating it That's like the doctor thing they're like hey when I do this thing It makes me feel bad and they're like well don't do it Yeah It's a very simple thing to say and do. That's like half the doctor visits they get.

I feel like that's a perfect segue into talking about 23andMe, right? It is. We live in a world where you're going to have to have access to the data about yourself. Give me the data. Get to the data about you. And that's what Crandor's doing. 23andMe can help. What's more personal than your DNA?

You can turn to your genetics to find out about health, the traits that you have, and so much more. 23andMe goes beyond your ancestry and access personal insights based on your DNA with 125 genetic reports. You can even get insights into things like sleep, right? Your sleep report. It'll give you information about whether you will feel more sleepy after missing out on a night of sleep or, you know, things like if you go to bed and sleep longer than usual, maybe you'll feel more tired.

That's what Crandor does. It is. Things of that nature There's an alcohol flush reaction report So like does alcohol turn your cheeks pink After a glass of rosé I know Dan our animator gets very flush I've seen him drink alcohol

He gets very red That is in his DNA for sure There's a saturated fat or weight report So you can see how your genetics May impact your body's response to your diet. Things like, I don't know, eating bacon. Stuff like that. Even about stuff like the calories you consume. Things of that nature.

All of it is found in your DNA. And 23andMe can help you unlock all of that. So this is just like the surface though, right? Because you can take the next steps by talking to your healthcare provider and thinking about lifestyle changes and things of that nature, adjusting your sleep habits, all because you saw what your DNA is telling you about yourself. And so now you can go to a doctor and be like, look, this is some things that I want to think about or talk about. And information is what helps your doctor work on you, right? It's about like give and take with your doc. So that's phenomenal to have this information. See what your

genes say about your health traits and more by your health plus ancestry kit today at 23andme.com slash cox. That's 23andme.com slash cox. Again, 23andme.com slash cox. 23andme.com slash cox.

Very creepy. Very creepy Cox. 23andme.com slash Cox. Very creepy. Very creepy the way you said that. Also today we're brought to you by MeUndies. Ask yourself this one important question. Is your underwear making you happy at this very moment? Mine is. Marie Kondo this. Just Marie Kondo this entire thing.

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MeUndies.com slash Crendor. MeUndies.com slash Crendor. MeUndies.com slash Crendor. All right, Crendor, let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Me on these.com. All right, Crandor, let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

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Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's in the afternoon, and it's still late. Why are you talking about how that's a terrible schedule? Stop waking up that late. Yes, we've already went over it. Listen, it's just what happens.

Also, I used to wake up. I'm judging you. I used to wake up at like 3 o'clock years ago. Still judging you. Still judging. So I'm actually improving on that. And I'll probably get it down to like noon at some point. And then I'll be very good.

Anyway. Oh, I forgot to watch Jupiter Ascending again. Oh, god damn it. Oh my god. Alright, this week's gonna be the week I watch it. This will be the week. Yeah, there's some cars driving around and you know, just be safe on the roads back to

you thanks quenor dollars to go over to quenra the weather that's how's that weather weather time in the morning uh let's see pie it was like pie day a few days ago 3.14 you're correct Paitari Florida Paitari Florida Wait St. Petersburg Why did it go to St. Petersburg Paitari It says Paitari

Is Paitari in St. Petersburg Paitari Paitari Russia Wait St. Petersburg Russia Wait St. Petersburg Russia Russia St. Petersburg Russia Paitari Is a Finnish male name

And an interpretation of the name Petrus And Peter Okay That still isn't a location though But it's St. Petersburg St. Petersburg Sure still isn't a location though but it's so i guess saint peter's burg like saint peter's saint peter's burg sure saint peter's burg uh that's huh today i learned um well in saint petersburg florida 71 degrees it's partly cloudy it feels like 71 high, 71 low, 60.

Tonight it's going to be 60, Monday 69, Monday night 58, Tuesday 66, and Tuesday night 57. Hey, that's like the same temperature as it is here. Oh, nice. I'm actually getting the same weather as Florida. Take that, Floridians. Yeah, it's almost like you're in Florida. I'm not, though. Wow.

Weather, it's crazy. um weather it sure is crazy uh and then it's gonna be like that for a few days you got 70s and then you start getting in the 80s next week i'm happy because we're gonna be getting into the 60s i actually like 60s it's like a weather it's like and it's like you're hitting that room temperature weather everywhere outside i think the 60s is the perfect weather it's a great weather you go out you don't need a jacket but you don't not need a jacket and then you just walk around it's like room temperature sometimes if you get like a nice rain you know it's like a it's like a relaxing rain because it's not cold rain but it's not warm rain because if you get warm rain you're like but if you get like, bleh. But if you get cold rain, you're like, bleh. But if you get a nice

middle ground rain, you're like, hey, that's refreshing. That's the weather. Okay, and sports. Sports. We actually got some big sports news this week because NFL free agency happened and some crazy stuff went down.

Odell Beckham Jr. of the new york giants one of the biggest wide receivers in football is now a cleveland brown gone on to the browns on this is huge for terrible teams i'm very excited somehow i think the cleveland browns are going to win the afc north and the pitts Pittsburgh Steelers might come in last. You're out of your damn. You know what? I, I,

I have to go against my own natural instinct to call you crazy and be like, yeah, there's a possibility that actually could happen. It could have dealers are, are this could be a bad year for this deal. Uh, Le'Veon Bell. The other, uh,

old Steeler is now at the jets. He's moved on to the new york jets uh the packers actually made some free agent signings which was crazy uh they got two pass rushers they got a lineman uh i'm pretty happy pretty happy with the packer stuff uh and then uh there's just a bunch of other big free agents going over. Frank Gore signed with the Buffalo Bills. By the way, Frank Gore is like 36 or 7 years old. He's played like 20 years, and he's still going. The man's insane. I feel like that's a player who is getting paid like,

it's kind of how I view myself on YouTube. Right? Like, I'm no millionaire, but I got to keep going or else I'll be broke as hell. Maybe. I feel like I'm the him of YouTube. I'm like, look, I can't stop, so I just got to keep making videos. Yeah. But it's a good job.

Frank Gore, he's 5'9", 212 pounds. He has played since 2005. That's when he got drafted. And he's just been, like, consistently good. Like, in 2006, he ran for 1,700 yards, which is kind of crazy. Then he ran for, like, 1,100, 1,000, 1,100. Anything over 1,000 is good.

And the thing is, the last two years, he ran for 961 yards and 722 yards. That's still good. Yes, that's still very, very good. That's better than like half the NFL running backs. And the dude's like almost 40. It's crazy. I recognize him as a kindred spirit.

I just want to say, I see you, pal. Working hard every day. Busting your ass every day. Not getting the recognition. You're not like one of those big time guys. You're just doing it every day. And I appreciate you. Yeah.

And then Nick Foles went to the Jaguars. And another big thing, Johnny Manziel. Johnny Football is going to the AAF. The American Association of Football. That league we were talking about. He's going to the Memphis Express. As long as the back of his jersey says football on it, I'll be very excited. So I'm definitely going to watch that game whenever he plays.

And a whole bunch of other free agent stuff happened. I do a football podcast with Sinvicta and Rob of the Northern Lion thing, and we're going to talk about it on Tuesday. It's called Three Guys Talk About Football because we didn't know what to name it, and we called it that, and we've done it for like a year at this point. Everyone tune in. If you like the foosball, tune in and learn more about it. We go hardcore nerd into football.

It's essentially like the shows you do with Star Wars and the Illuminati thing, but about football. Yeah, yeah, yeah, except about football. It's essentially like the shows you do with Star Wars and the Illuminati thing, but about football. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Except about football. It's just like the Star Wars. You get a first rounder and a third rounder for that. You at least gotta get a fourth. You at least gotta get a fourth. Yeah, it's the exact same thing, except I'm just like, what's the deal?

If you're gonna get a stormtrooper, you have to have at least one shoretrooper and one darttrooper, or else you're not to get a stormtrooper, you have to have at least one shore trooper and one dart trooper, or else you're not going to make a full squadron. Exactly. Yeah, it's the same damn thing. It's the same thing. If you're going to have a jet pack on, you're definitely a Mandalorian.

I don't care who you are. Exactly. Exactly. So it's just different strokes, different folks. That's what we got. Yeah, same thing, though. And then NBA, NHL, both closing in on the playoffs. Don't worry.

When we hit the playoffs, I'll go into the hockey and the basketball. That's when it actually matters. I'll be real. I don't pay attention to hockey or baseball at any point during the season until it gets to the playoffs. Then I'm like, I'm in. Let's do this. Yeah.

Or basketball, you mean. Then baseball. Baseball's in spring training. Baseball, basketball, you mean. Then baseball. Baseball's in spring training. Baseball, well, still baseball. Oh, well, basketball, I don't pay attention to any pro basketball, period. At all. College basketball, I think, is great. College basketball is fantastic.

Pro basketball, I have no interest in. I don't know why I don't have an interest. I probably should, but I think when Michael Jordan stopped playing, the last time I cared was when the Bulls had the perfect team. Yeah, I remember that. I was like eight years old. Yeah, I was in high school.

Maybe I was in junior high when that all ended, when that was all over. But I loved it. It was great. That's the last time I actually cared. Speaking, well, the thing is, I also watched a lot of basketball when I was younger. So I just like it from that.

And a story of another athlete, Vince Carter. He got drafted in 1998 to the Toronto Raptors. And he was like the superstar back then. They were my favorite team. That's when the Bulls got really bad. So I was like, I want to pick another team. And I like the Raptor. So I was like, I'll follow the Toronto Raptors. And like the Raptors. So I was like, I'll follow the

Toronto Raptors. And they had Vince Carter. That's because their logo was just a dinosaur. And you're like, dinosaurs are real. And nine-year-old me was like, that's awesome. So I watched them and I was like, that's great. So I've always liked Vince Carter. And he's still playing. He's in his 22nd

season. And he's not what he used to be. But he's still like, he's still got seven points a game. He's 42 and he's still scoring seven points a game. Against like 19-year-olds. It's crazy. So go Vince Carter. And that's sports.

All right. What is our big news story of the day? All right. So it's a slow news week. Oh, boy. We've got a Florida man finds iguana in toilet, calls 911. I mean, that's just Florida. Nothing special there.

That's just Florida. The story's like three sentences. Let me read it. We've seen snakes in toilets, but how about iguanas? It certainly was not what Florida man expected. We've seen snakes, but how about iguanas? How about iguanas? The end. Period.

The end. That's the end of the story. The guy, Fort Lauderdale Battalion Chief Stephen Gullion told the Miami Herald the man freaked out and didn't know what to do. He said the firefighter had to put on a glove, reach into the toilet, and grab the iguana.

In the end, the animal was leased into the wild. Can you imagine lifting the toilet lid and finding this? It's an iguana toilet. I'll show you. Yeah, it's an iguana toilet. Here he is. Toilet iguana. That's a big iguana, though. Yeah. I mean, that's nice.

He's just having fun fun he found a nice spot relaxing nice and cool and then he's like ah shit no he's just got to find a new one um let's see there's also uh for five thousand dollars you can hunt bigfoot with jose canseco the former baseball the former baseball mvp is pitching a trip to what he claims are the sites of authentic alien sightings and proven Bigfoot habitats. All right. Do tell me more article. Former baseball player superstar Jose Canseco made his name hitting home runs, but his latest project is a pitch to go Bigfoot hunting. project is a pitch to go Bigfoot hunting. The former

MVP posted two tweets on Tuesday night offering to take a few lucky people on an expedition tracking the mythical beast and a real alien. He straight up posted a phone number online. Yeah, he straight up posted the phone number online and was like,

on a Bigfoot alien excursion with Jose Canseco. Come spend the big day with me and my alien buddies. I'll show you Bigfoot and the real alien. This sounds very suspicious. Hold on. Read HuffPost. Call the listed phone number and receive this text message.

Read the message. The message is, Spend the weekend with Jose for $5,000 cash. Only five lucky individuals will get a golden ticket. Oompa Loompas ain't got nothing on Bigfoot. Travel in his custom RV to authentic alien sightings and proven Bigfoot habitats. Camp out in the wild, tell stories, and maybe meet a real Bigfoot. You never know what's going to happen with Mr. Canseco, food included.

Only serious inquiries, please. I will help you book your flight to Vegas and set itineraries. Thank you, Morgan. A response said the first excursion was almost full. This isn't completely out of left field for a 54-year-old outfielder. A few weeks ago, Canseco posted a series of tweets claiming aliens had given him the secrets to time travel. Naturally many people

This is what steroids does. This is what steroids does everyone. Definitely what steroids does. Many people have strong responses. Shit dude. That's Jose Canseco going on Alien. That guy used to be really famous, and now he's like, hey, come and see Aliens with me.

I mean, if you look at him now, he kind of looks like he's going crazy. He looks like Fred Flintstone took drugs. He does look a little like Fred Flintstone. That's a little like Fred Flintstone. And apparently, three days ago, Jose Canseco challenged Alex Rodriguez to polygraph test after ex-wife denies cheating rumors. He's all over the place. Mamma mia.

Oh, Jose. Well, that's... Well, I mean, I think that's a good enough story for us. The news is really boring this week. Yeah, it's boring, but at least Jose Canseco's hunting aliens. Someone's gotta do it. Yeah, someone's gotta do it.

But that's it for us. Thank you so much for listening or watching or however you're enjoying this. Hit them with the socials. We got youtube.com slash coxacredor podcast. We got youtube.com slash coxacredor for animations. We got Spotify coxacredor. Search us on there. We got SoundCloud.com slash Cox and Crandor.

We have our own stuff. YouTube.com slash Jessica Cox. YouTube.com slash Crandor. Twitter.com slash Jessica Cox. Twitter.com slash Crandor. Whatever, Twitch, TV, Crandor. Twitch, TV, Jessica Cox. That's it.

All right. Well, that's it for us. We'll see you guys next time. And as always. Bap. To be continued. That's it. All right. Well, that's it for us. We'll see you guys next time.

And as always, to be continued.