Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 189 - People in the Plaaaaaaace

Episode Date: March 25, 2019

We're back baby! An all new episode that really shows the world how exciting our lives are. Meanwhile the boys wonder about the caviar vending machine and what other wild machines exist out there. In the news Florida makes it big and another person decided to train a squirrel for evil. All this and more on another exciting episode of Cox n' Crendor! Get your first refill pack free at http://getquip.com/crendor

Today's episode is brought to you by Quip. Quip, it's gonna make your teeth sparkling clean, gonna get your dentist off your butt, and more importantly, gonna make you feel good about smiling. We'll talk about that later, but let's jump into this show. Hello, everybody, it's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. Ghost on Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning.

Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-hour recording studio. Hello everybody welcome to the exciting episode of Cax and Kredar in the morning. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo But I was doing like that with the I mean, I get what you were doing. It was just crazy. I was hoping there'd be a beat drop at the end. Speaking of which, I listened to that song. The other day I was in the car and that song like boom, boom, boom. That like boom, boom, pow song came on. That's a crazy ass song. I don't know that it's good, but

it's crazy. There's a lot that happens in it. Boom, pow. I got the pow. Yes, there's so much that goes on in that song. At one point, Fergie's like, People in the place! First off, people in the place is a lyric. People in the place!

That happens. And then the song's like... It's wild. There's so much going on. Boom, boom. There's so much in that song. It's wild. There's so much going on. There's so much in that song. It's like, well, I am. I like to eat eggs and ham.

You're like, okay. Check my style because I like to smile. You're like, I don't know what's going on. Well, I am, but I'm in. This is weird, but I'm in. Yeah. You know what? That was a good song, even though it was like the weird good It reminds me a lot

Of the Macklemore song Downtown Yeah It seems like it's two songs put together For some reason And it's the exact same thing with that song Where it's definitely like They had multiple ideas for songs And were like eh put it together screw it

All I remember about macklemore uh is the thrift shop song and that i think we started our podcast when that song came out or like right after it no what this this podcast yeah the very first episode. Was around thrift shop time? Yeah. Thrift shop, right? Okay. Macklemore Thrift Shop. What, what, what?

August 29th, 2012. And we started in like November 2012. Are you telling me that we're the Macklemore's of podcasts? I wish. We'd have a lot of money. I wish we had 1.2 billion views on our things. I think that's what we have, like, combined

over that entire span. He got in, like, one song on YouTube. Well, I just need you to, every time I say anything, you go, downtown! Like that, and then we'll be good. Wait, is that Fergie No that's Macklemore

That just sounded like Fergie Everyone knows that I sound like Fergie People confuse me for Fergie All the time Is that Fergie I'm like yeah hi everyone it's me Fergie I'm Fergalicious It's true She sanggie. I'm Fergalicious. And they're like, whoa. It's true.

She sang the national anthem at the All-Star game where she was like, and everyone was like, what? What's going on? People in the place. Again, people in the place. What is that lyric? People in the place What is that lyric People in the place People in the place

Are you shouting out To like I guess it's very open In the place could be anywhere Normally you hear like people in the club Or whatever but no This is a song they want people everywhere to hear So I guess they're open

Yeah That's what she sings People in the place But no this is a song they want people everywhere to hear so I guess they're open in Yeah, that's what she thinks you Got that boom boom pound your ten people in the place if you want to get down put your hands in the air Will I am drop the beat now, so she's just like oh, buddy get ready yeah we need a whole podcast dedicated just to this song and breaking the song down he says beat so big i'm stepping on leprechauns that's yeah that's lyric he said that's a lyric stepping on leprechauns. What's that mean? I don't think any of that song makes any sense.

I don't, you know, it's just a song. And then they put beats in it and they were like, Now everyone at home is going to go listen to this song and be like, We're just doing the work for the Black Eyed Peas. They haven't made anything in years. That's very true. They say, I'm so 3008, you're so 2000 and late. Yeah, that's my favorite lyric. That's my favorite lyric to that whole song.

My mom sent me that at one point. I got a message from her. She was just like, I'm so 3008 I was like damn Let's be real, we're not, nobody's gonna be alive in 3008 World's gonna be gone by then I don't know, I feel like Then again, Will.i.am will probably be in like a

His brain will be in a frozen Yeah Box Will.i.am will live forever I believe that He'll be like please kill me But they'll be like no, we want Will.i.am will live forever. I believe that. He'll be like, please kill me. But they'll be like, no, we want Will.i.am around still. And now, performing live,

Will.i.am! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It'll be a sad time for Will. So yeah, that's... Hello. Yeah, here we are. Hey, I'm gonna ask you, because i know you probably forgot did you watch

that movie okay here's the thing uh-huh i watched the first two minutes uh where they're like looking at the stars with a telescope yeah uh and i was like what is going on and then i think something happened i like paused it and I didn't watch it anymore. So I'm two minutes in. I have began it. The Russian mobsters haven't even come in the room yet, probably. Oh, no. Yeah, they haven't done that.

They're just like, wow, look at the stars up there. You didn't even get through the basic premise of the intro of the film. I'll make it. I'll get there. I think by the end of this week. That would be like if you went and watched a Harry Potter movie and you quit before they even got to Hogwarts.

Before even anyone produced the wand. You were like, well, I'm good. I think I understand what this is about. I'm not even that far. I'm at the part where I'm just like, yeah, so I'm at the part where the kid lives under the stairs.

And we'll see if we make it further next time yeah yeah yeah this will just be like a running thing i'll slowly progress through the movie i don't need that i don't need i want to talk to you about the whole thing i don't need a slow progression okay um this this is the week i've hit the point where even people in my stream are like here's your reminder to watch the movie. And I'm like, oh, hey, thanks. But it didn't help. Clearly didn't. Let's see. Let's see. What did I do this week?

Oh, I got physical therapy. Yeah, why? What happened? Did you hurt yourself? I just had, like, a back pain thing since, like, July. And I think I, like, pulled a muscle or pinched a nerve. Or I did something. Or I just sit sit badly which is probably what it is uh and it's just like you know whatever so i got physical therapy and they're just like all right let's test your uh your motor skills your rotations

your like flexibility and uh they're like all right so your shoulder blades are kind of like going this way and they're supposed to be this way. So that's causing a lot of things. And I was like, ah, and I'm like, of course, sitting badly in a chair for 20 years. And I'm like, ah, OK. So they're like, it's best to fix that now. So now I have exercises I gotta do. To help with that. One of them is like I lay flat.

And then I kind of like. Pull or like. Pull my arms back. So it's kind of like you're trying to like. Grip a pencil that's like on your spine or something. Like you're trying to like whoop. So it kind of helps loosen up your shoulder blades. And then I got one of those sponge rollers.

It's like that big foam sponge tube cylinder thing. And you lay back on that vertically and you just kind of roll back and forth on it. And then I also do a thing where you do that, but you stretch your arms above your head like you're making a snow angel. And then all of those feel very good. It's one of those things where you don't realize how bad your back is until you do that type of stuff so like they're like do a push-up on the wall like where you're standing but you're doing a push-up on the wall and i did it and they're like all right now do it like this and i was like whoa that feels great they're like yeah that's because that's how you're supposed to be i was like whoa that's not good.

So, yeah, that's pretty neat. I've been doing that. And it's, you know, now I'm getting buff, but my muscles may be buff, but they're not where they're supposed to be. So now we're trying to fix that. Time out. I'm sorry. Time out. What?

You have muscles where you're not supposed to have muscles? Well, no. My muscles are like all like, you know, they're all out of whack. No, I don't. Wait. I don't know what any of of that means you're saying you said you just said i have muscles but they're not what they're supposed to be and i just i just want to point out that's insane all right so there's uh i guess when your shoulder blades are like this it's like they're not doing everything they're supposed to be so more pressure gets put on other parts of your body so like my shoulders take on more pressure so as i fix my shoulder blades it then makes my shoulders feel better which makes my spine feel better which

makes everything feel better so it's like by fixing that one thing you're fixing the other things yeah yeah yeah yeah i don't know what you're saying, but yeah, yeah. Yeah, listen, it's not that complicated. Yeah, shoulders. It's not that complicated. Sure. So I've been doing that. Okay. Let's see.

That's just another exercise to add to my exercise routine, so it's not too bad. And then, I don't know, what else did I do? I got a meatball sub. Oh, yeah, I got a meatball sub. Can I just explain how utterly boring our lives are that you're like what else did i do oh i got a meatball sub i already live like a retired person like i got physical therapy and then i got a meatball sub i love that you're like and then i meatball sup sure sure um listen the reason i got a meatball sub was i went to subway and i was like they had

a sign that was like the ultimate meatball marinara and i was like dude i want a meatball sub but not from here so i left subway i went to uh an actual like local italian place and i made a good meatball sub and i was like i'm on mommy and i forgot how good meatball subs are but i want one like every day it's like every once in a while type of thing is that is that the story yeah that's the story um yeah all right cool great Um, yeah. All right. Cool. Great. Uh, let's see. I don't know what I've done this week.

Like the last two days have mentally wasted me to the point where I just don't, I keep thinking back that what did I do? Like, what, what did I do this week of substance? And I'll be honest. I don't know. I can't remember. This week was just, it flew by so quickly, and I'm just so exhausted. I don't remember what happened. And that's messed up.

I literally cannot remember what happened this past week. I don't have a memory of the week. The days all seem to have blended together. What could you have done this week? That's what I'm saying. I don't know. I don't know. Have you eaten a lot of food?

I don't know. Okay, okay. I ate a lot at home this week. Okay okay Um I you know I Ate a lot at home this week I had a lot of uh I ate like stir fry that was really good I made stir fry at home And uh

I had a grilled cheese sandwich Earlier this week It's all coming back to me now baby I had a grilled cheese sandwich And then uh yogurt One. I had a grilled cheese sandwich. And then yogurt. One night I had some yogurt. Yes. And some Tapatio Doritos.

I have some of those at the house. And yeah, I think. Is this what, like, is old being old just not, like, knowing you don't know anything anymore and just not giving a shit? Like, what is happening? I don't remember anything. I literally, we're going into this podcast with me having stayed up all night doing a bunch of stuff for a channel that literally requires my soul. I pour my soul into this thing. And sometimes, literally last night, I went home after working for, I'm going to say,

12 hours to make one video for YouTube. And then it didn't even work right. And then I got home, was laying in bed at 6 in the morning just like, you know, maybe I should never do this again. Maybe there's got to be something else out there that's better for me than this. Because this sucks. This is the worst. Oh, that's why I just livestream now. I just turn on the old livestream and I'm like, what's up everybody?

Today I feel like playing Tetris. And I just play Tetris. I won a game. I'm a Tetris champion officially. Yeah, that's what I hear. Yeah, and now i'm getting second place a lot i'm becoming very good very good except for when i'm bad um right but that's like that's that's the the russian part of you right yeah that's your eastern european side being like yeah it's in your soul powers me right right i believe that um so that's pretty neat uh

and then oh that's right we recorded that thing and then we found out who they were called muscle men yes oh my god so for people who aren't watching our series for uh two crowns not only did i did we talk about old toys we talked about how i used to have toys called muscle men those things were awesome but then uh battle beasts is that what they were called battle beasts battle yeah what was the other one called it's like mighty monsters monster my pocket was like Battle Beasts is what they were called. Battle Beasts were pretty much the very first, I don't want to say, like, gotcha game that I ever played, but definitely, so the Battle Beasts were these little tiny animals that on their chest,

they all, like, were in mech suits and shit, and on their chest they had an elemental symbol. And it was sort of like rock, paper, scissors, where certain elements would beat certain other guys. when you were collecting them you and your friends would like i'm gonna fight you with my like awesome wood raptor and then he'd be like no way i have a fire eagle right like that kind of stuff giraffe mech but the thing is is that there were always random elements so even though you would get like a shark Let's say he may not be water He could be something else

And so you were trying to get all the different element types So if you wanted to get everything You would have to get at least three Of every single character Oh I see Yeah but see I didn't care about that stuff I was just excited that I got like really cool looking dudes So yeah I had

Man I had a snake that had snakes for arms. I had a weird spider guy. I had a pig like a boar. I had a chameleon dude. I had this crazy ass giraffe that had an antenna. I had a frog man. I had a shark and then a cool fish.

And then of course the leader was this lion guy with a sword. Oh, and they all had weapons that they came with. It was great. It was so good. And, you know, you put your hand on them and they would be like, my guys, the power of wood. By the way, the three powers they had, water, fire, wood. The power of wood. The power of wood.

I don't know why wood. I guess it was supposed to be earth, but they figured wood would be the thing. Very weird. I guess they came out in 87. Yeah, these things were the shoot. I remember having them in elementary school, and everyone was just like, yo, did you get the new Battle Beasts? I got water.

Water beats fire. Yeah, that's literally what it was. I just watched a little advertisement thing for it. Oh, if you watch the commercial, the commercial has a guy who's like, Water beats fire! Yes, yes. Yeah, I'm trying to think of what the actual thing was, but I believe it's

wood beats water, water beats fire fire beats wood I believe is the triangle. That makes sense It's pretty much Pokemon except instead of grass it's wood Absolutely it's a very very simplified Pokemon-esque thing They used to have a TV show and comics

and it was great. I bet Pokemon stemmed from Battle Beasts I mean yeah I would imagine that everything stems from something TV show and comics, and it was great. I met Pokemon stemmed from Battle Beasts. I mean, yeah. I would imagine that everything stems from something. They're just like, dude, what if we made Pokemon? Yeah. What if we made Pokemon?

I believe that's exactly what they said. Like, oh, my God. Well, we can't use wood because that's too profound. So let's do grass. Yeah, I like it. I like it. Yeah, fire, water, grass type. Perfect. No one will ever know.

Oh, yeah, and then I brought up Mighty Max. A lot of people are like, whoa, Mighty Max. But you never heard of Mighty Max. I never had Mighty Max. I did have Micro Machines. I did have the Star Wars Micro Machines. I loved. They even came out with little figures and stuff.

I had the one with Yoda in the swamp. Yeah, man. I was such a nerd, I had the Expanded Universe ones that were like, not even movie ones. They were like, oh yes, the Grand Admiral Thrawn collection. Wonderful. I had the Death Star.

It was like a big ass Micro Machine Death Star. Yeah, then you have all the little figures in, all the little Stormtroopers and stuff. I had the Death Star. It was like a big-ass micro-machine Death Star. Yeah, and then you have all the little figures in and all the little stormtroopers and stuff. I had that, too. That thing was dope. I loved that. Oh, my God. I loved being a kid. Yeah, being a kid's great.

Here's the thing. I remember all of that. Don't remember what happened last week. That's what being an adult is. Nothing of significance happened to me last week nothing oh see uh yeah i don't know uh no me and toaster woman went to an arcade that was fun i don't know arcades are uh as far as things just like fun yet for like uh like an hour or something. Sure, yeah. We even had like a Guitar Hero thing.

I was like, what the shit? A Guitar Hero arcade machine? Yeah, I saw that at a Dave & Buster's once. I was like, what? Why would anyone play this? And then I played it for like two hours. Yeah, we played it too. I was like, why would anyone play this? You can just own this. And then I played it for two solid hours. Yeah. Your Guitar Hero, they need like a new guitar hero yeah it's great it's it's always fun i just think it's one of those things where they

kept selling people those guitars and then it never changed just like the songs changed but nothing about the actual game changed so after a while people were like oof yeah but i feel like we're at that point where it's been gone for so long that they could recreate it and everyone would buy it again. I want... Didn't they make a VR version? Weren't they trying to make a VR version? I would love that.

Where you felt like you were on stage? That would be great. Oh, that would be cool. I know they got Beat Saber. It's pretty much the same thing. They had Rock Band, but it was four people in VR on stage. Oh, wow. That would be awesome.

That would be awesome. That would be a great arcade thing, too. Everyone puts the VR helmet on and you go in, like, a little thing. And technically, you are on stage

because you're in front of everyone at the arcade anyway. Yeah. Oh, that'd be great. I mean, some of the arcade things are great, too.

Like, you get in the uh you call like the the thing you sit in and you're like shooting stuff and like the things moving around like and you're like whoa and like sharks are jumping at you yeah i've seen there's one where it's like you're in the amazon and you have to it's both tests your ability to kill and your love compatibility it It's very funny. It's like you are 88% compatible because you shot that monster at the exact same time. You're like, all right. Looks like I'm getting laid tonight.

Arcades are fun. I like arcades. I forgot about that. Yeah, so did I. I forgot that arcades existed. I went to one this week forgot arcades existed uh oh yeah oh my god you know what i've realized we talked about like dead malls but one of the dumb things they do at malls uh is they have mall kiosks which is essentially like door-to-door salesmen but just you know as you go through the mall like all the people are like trying to get you to buy

a cell phone cover or the weird home remedy for nails or change your shoes yeah yeah yeah you shine that gym shoes on excuse me sir would you like to try that it's like no it's like then they'll like stop people like excuse me sir and they just like no no then they're like no please please come on and they always get somebody who's just like well i guess i can stop there's there's in la there are ones that are like teeth teeth whitening and there are ones that are barber shops there are ones that oh yeah i still want to know like who's gotten caviar out of the caviar vending machine you know what i don't know i if it was closer i would go back to that mall with frequency because i like it there but it's so far away it it isn't worth

it unless i'm going with someone to like roast it so i don't you know i would love to go back the food court area is amazing but yeah that last time i was there the caviar vending machine was no longer like in the open it was like moved a corner, which makes it even weirder and more suspicious. Because it only took cash. So is this like a front? Where people are like, I laundered my money through caviar machine. It doesn't make any sense. No sense.

First off, no normal person is going to buy anything in a caviar vending machine. People that are rich enough to eat caviar aren't going to get their caviar out of a vending machine. Absolutely. Let's go to, like, Letoni's Caviar Emporium-esque AOA. I don't know that if I ate caviar I'd ever go to Letoni's. I don't want to do that. And then, it looks like, what's the target market here? I don't want to do that And then It looks like What's the target market here

I don't know Like I said I don't know maybe it's for advertisement Like it's worth Putting it there for the advertisement For your caviar place Yeah Because it is ridiculous Maybe like rich people are just like

This is a very odd thing to do. Let's try it out. Yeah. I mean, the cheapest thing was $500. Yeah. And it was cash only. So again, you'd have to have $500 in cash on you, which I don't know why anyone would ever have, period, to begin with. Yeah.

Right? Even if you had the money to just have 500 bucks to put in a vending machine, you would never just carry $500 on you because that's like asking to get your ass mugged. Like there's no, why would you ever? So I just Googled it and I found the world's eight most gourmet vending machines. All right, let's do it. What is it? All right. Number one is in Brisbane, Australia.

It's Mackey's Bananas. What? 90% of Australia's bananas are grown in North Queensland. Mackey's, a fourth-generation family-run farm in the region, supplies downtown Brisbane directly. Last year, Mackey's installed the three banana bar vending machines in the city and four others in the surrounding area. The climate-controlled kiosks are serviced

daily and excess fruit is donated to a local food bank. It's just a banana vending machine? Fresh bananas daily. Yeah, I mean, I guess that's a thing you would do. Smartbanana.com.au? Yeah, it exists, I guess. That must be the low end of what we're

talking about yeah that's gotta be the low end although they are asking two dollars for a banana that seems like a ripoff if you're like there gotta be some high quality bananas yeah what what's the banana situation in australia do you not have a lot of bananas are you nannerless because two dollars 90 of australia's bananas are grown in north queensland so probably everyone that close to there has got to pay a ton for bananas oh my god that is banana robbery banana robbery uh number two is in columbus ohio that sounds about right jenny's splendid cupcakes dairy queen jennyon, not actual Dairy Queen. Author of New York Times bestselling cookbook and proprietor of the national distributed Jenny's Splendid Ice Creams,

brought a chill to Ohio's Port Columbus airstrip last year. Concourse is B&C, her home to Jenny's Splendid vending machines, both of which are stocked with six-ounce containers of her farm-fresh, hormone-free ice cream and frozen yogurt, as well as Jenny's Macaroon Ice Cream and Sandwiches. I mean, that sounds great. That sounds like a very fun, like, oh, ice cream before I get on the plane. I like that.

Yeah, that's pretty cool. Yeah. So far, besides the exorbitant prices for banana, none of these are shocking to me. I think all these are fine. Oh, the next one's the cupcakes. New York, New York, Sprinkles. Few things see more home in Manhattan's Upper East Side than Sprinkles recently opened Cupcake ATM.

Just a few blocks from Bloomingdale's 24-hour machine began dispensing cupcakes, cookies, and doggy cupcakes. Oh my God. This is the best idea. Do you want to just go in with me on opening cupcake vending machines? We got to do it. We'll just open a bunch of vending machines. Like, why don't – I love the idea because sometimes I just want, like, a cupcake. I mean, I'm going to lie.

And if it was late and I was just drunk and I was like, man, I want something to eat. I don't want something greasy. I want, like, a cupcake. Oh, my God. If I saw a 24-hour cupcake vending machine, Lord help me. And you'd go for your dog. Oh, my God. Yeah.

You know what? Even if they're all sold out, I'd buy the dog one for me. I'd be like, oh, my God. This tastes great. They're currently available in dallas chicago atlanta and beverly hills of course beverly hills let's make it happen where it is available in my home uh what is this london uk moette and ch. So basically champagnes or sparkling wines. Yeah, I think so.

Last November, Oxford Street department store Selfridges decided to help shoppers take the edge of the holidays courtesy of a Swish, Moet and Shandon vending machine. The luxury dispenser set up shop in the Christmas Emporiumium stack with 350 200 milliliter limited edition bottles studded with swarovski crystals uh how much were these i i wonder uh mullet and shandong let's see when was uh let's see okay hold on let me go to their website there's gotta be like a don't shane though all right let me uh let's see moe and shane i just want to know the price uh you can get a target for 40 bucks by the way i just want to point out for those people wondering people who are curious uh the vending machine the caviar vending machine is, in fact, the most rare. Yeah.

Apparently, it is worldwide known. There is this thing where they rank all these vending machines. And they talk about how you can get luxury cars in Singapore from a vending machine. But more and more people are doing that, so it's not as rare as it was. Sephora or makeup you can get from vending machines. Legos has its own vending machine. I see that champagne. There's a crab vending machine.

But, but, this one, this caviar vending machine, is, yeah, this LA-based luxury machine will charge you $500 for an ounce of fish eggs. Oh, they're saying now it accepts credit cards. Well, that changes the game. That's a game changer. Yeah, that's a game changer.

Yeah, definitely people are going to go now. Before it was like, you got to pay in cash. And I was like, who would do this? Yeah, nobody's going to do that. Well, I guess they changed. They probably heard the podcast and they were like, well, they're right. Those two young non-caviar eaters are very right. Oh, my God.

Here's one. The Berdahl family has been growing pecans in central Texas for over 30 years at their 340-acre farm, which is marked by a 10 foot statue of a nuts for nuts squirrel affectionately known as Miss Pearl. The bird dolls maintain a 24 hour vending machine selling homemade 9 inch pecan pies. Oh my

God, that's a vending machine. That's a vending machine right there. That's good. That's a good vending machine right there. Oh yeah, I'd go to that. And there's Mrs. Pearl. pearl oh my god look at this Wow she's so beautiful there's rocking back and forth they got a big-ass pecan yep getting squirrelly with mrs. pearl bird doll we be erd o LL squirrel calm is the thing and then you can click there's a vending machine link and the vending machine literally just has pies in it man that's so great i love it um

vending also many customers prefer to purchase their pies directly from the machine instead of the store because it dispenses one dollar coins which are very rare in the states yeah oh my god i remember those i forgot all about those wow look at you can buy pecans pecan pies and various other nuts man oh man wow the world buddy the world has changed right i? I'm living in 2008, not 3008. What? Well, you know what else has changed? This is a segue. You know what else has changed?

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It's changed the way I brush entirely. I actually now just like, okay, before I go to bed, I want to get in there and do this. It makes me more conscious about taking care of my teeth, which I think is fantastic. Yeah, I just do the button and then it's like, oh, you brush for two minutes. And I'm like, hey, I didn't even have to think about it. That's why Quip is recommended by 20,000 dental professionals. Quip starts at just 25 bucks. And if you go to getquip.com

slash Crandor right now, you get your first refill pack free for your electronic toothbrush. They have all sorts of different colors and varieties. It's fantastic. So you want to go to getquip, G-E-T-Q-U-I-P dot com slash Crendor.

Getquip dot com slash Crendor. All right. Let's go. Jump in the car. Let's go. Crendor. Crendor. Jump in the car.

Oh, we got some traffic today. It is backed up all the way. You're going to have to take a different way to work because people are flocking out there to get to these vending machines. They have cars going out the wazoo. They want to see the squirrel, Mrs. Pearl. They want to see that caviar. They want to see the bananas. They're driving everywhere.

They're taking planes. They're taking trains. They're taking insane everywhere. You know, it's just crazy. So definitely take a different way to work or school or wherever you go in a day if you want to get there on time Unless you want to go check out some of those vending machines pick up a pecan pie for the office But you're gonna come in late, but they won't care you got a pecan pie. They'll be like shit, dude Let's share that around the office is great. Everybody can take a trip there tomorrow

Back to you. Thanks credit or now. Now let's go to Crednor at the weather desk. How's that weather? Weather. Weather. Weather. Okay. Let's give it the old WAPI treatment. WAPI

activated. 7, 4, 5, 4, 1. The Deutschland treatment. UV index zero. Today, 45 degrees Fahrenheit. Considerable cloudiness with occasional rain showers. Turning cooler. High around 45 degrees Fahrenheit. Winds west, northwest at 15 to 25 miles per hour. Chance of rain, 70%. Tonight, 35 degrees Fahrenheit.

60% chance precipitation. Tuesday, 44 degrees Fahrenheit, 60% chance precipitation. Tuesday, 44 degrees Fahrenheit. Tuesday night, 37 degrees Fahrenheit. Wednesday, 48 degrees Fahrenheit. Sunrise, 613 AM. Sunset, 640 PM. Struggling there, Woffy. What's going on?

M, M, M. I think it's a rough day for him. Yeah, it sounded like it. It sounded like he was going through some stuff. Yeah, but, you know. I think it's a rough day for him. Yeah, it sounded like it. It sounded like he was going through some stuff. Yeah, but, you know, what are you going to do? Move on to sports. Sports.

Hey, welcome to the Sports Desk Big Sports News. Rob Gronkowski of the New England Patriots has retired. Oh, thank you, Jesus. Gronkowski of the New England Patriots has retired. Oh, thank you, Jesus. Gronk is done. He announced his retirement on Instagram. And this could be the start of the end for the New England Patriots. We don't know. Could be.

Or they'll just find some random guy and he'll be really good and then they'll keep winning. Yeah, great. Cool. They'll be like, the Patriots draft Jim Johnson in the eighth round. And they'll be like the patriots draft uh jim johnson in the eighth round and they'll be like uh this guy's terrible they'll be like wow this is unreal he's doing a great um so that's the thing uh march madness is going on my bracket was looking good and now it's not looking too good uh as is usual uh and hockey and basketball getting ready for some playoff times in a couple of weeks. And baseball is about to kick off things this week. So the regular season of baseball is starting up.

And it's a sports. Okay, Crennor, what is our big news story of the day? So our big news story of the day is the thing everybody's been tweeting at us and the whole media has been going crazy over which is everybody's like google florida man and your birthday okay so i figured we'd have to search florida man and our birthday oh my god all right and see what article comes up florida and our birthday. So what do you do? You just look up Florida you type in Florida man Yeah, and then you type in your birthday month and day

Okay So let's see And then see what your story is Let's see Let's see. Let's see. Could I type in the year? I don't even think that'll happen, though. Yeah, it's just the day.

All right. Mine is... FloridaMan33 posed as a housewife to lure men into home where he'd secretly film sex acts for web, cops say. All right. Uh-huh. Yeah.

Interesting. I mean, that sounds like something associated with you. Of course. Florida, this guy looks like Steve-O. How did this guy dress up as a housewife? He looks like Steve-O. Come on in, boys. Dress up as a housewife.

He looks like Steve-O. Come on in, boys. He was charged with two counts of illegal interception of oral communication, three counts of record-keeping violations in connection with the website Straight Boys with a Z. Yeah. Now you just advertise them. Don't go there. Guys, don't go there.

Well, they're probably shut down by this point. I would not bet on shut down i would not bet on that i would not bet on that i'm not gonna find out all right what'd you get well mine is florida man bit on tongue by rattlesnake he tried to kiss may 18th a florida man was bitten on the tongue when he tried to kiss a rattlesnake Authorities say Putnam County resident Ron Reinald Was taken to a local hospital In critical condition Tuesday Reinald's family said Wednesday

He is recovering and expected to survive A neighbor said Reinald had been drinking While handling a snake Of course The reptile appeared calm until Reynold moved towards it to try and kiss it. That's when the snake bit him. He said, I'm gonna kiss it on the mouth!

And the snake bit him in the face! Said Charles Goff, who was found with the snake. Ron was just acting silly, you know? I guess he said he could kiss it and... Oh, I guess he said he could kiss the devil and get away with it, but eventually he didn't. Authorities identified the snake as an eastern diamondback rattlesnake,

one of the 16 venomous species of rattlesnake in the United States. It is illegal to keep a rattlesnake in Florida without a license. So that's what mine was. Huh. Huh. Yeah. A guy got bit on the face when he tried to kiss a snake. Well, I also see not linked to our birthday,

a Florida man attacked by a crazy squirrel gone nuts. It was raised by a neighbor. I feel like... Wait, what? I'm sorry, what? Repeat that? What what Florida man attacked by a crazy squirrel gone nuts it was raised by a neighbor this is all right I

believe this story to be true because the other story which was definitely true I thought was fake yeah so I this has to what how are people raising squirrels? Is this an epidemic? Wait, was the other story true or false? It was true! The police were even... There was, like, police reports.

Oh, my God. That's the one where the squirrel bit the guy's nuts, right? Right! So, wait, what happened with this story? Uh, pythons don't do it often. Alligators have tragically done it, but we know to be wary. But unlike those creatures, in Florida Everglades and waterways, one pesky squirrel in Sarasota County is fighting way above its weight class.

Who knew in Florida we have to be on the lookout for attacking squirrels? According to the news reports and a man with the woos to prove it, a squirrel has gone nuts in the Florida town and with provocation attacked and bit the victim on the elbow and scratched him on the arm. A surveillance video captured the attack. Quote, friggin squirrel attacked me. Robbie Armstrong posted on his Facebook page on Sunday, a day after the rodent bit him. His security cameras caught the attack, one Armstrong said was not an unusual thing to happen in the neighborhood

The squirrel which he said was raised by his neighbors when it was a baby and then released bit other residents among the other bite victims So they they raised it set it free and it was just like I'm gonna bite every last So they raised it, set it free, and then it was just like, I'm going to buy every last MF3. Why is he so aggressive? So they didn't train to attack people, or did they? I don't know. It feels like they just raised it, and then he just like, okay, you're good now. Yeah, when parents raise a psychopath, and then they're like, I tried my best.

I feel like this is in the squirrel. The squirrel's a nuisance, and they're like, I tried my best. I feel like this is in the squirrel. The squirrel's a nuisance. And they're like, we tried to raise it good. Armstrong stepson and adult members of the family that initially cared for it. Wait. Armstrong, among the other bite victims of the aggressive rodent, Armstrong stepson and adult members of the family that initially cared for it. It's biting its own family members No wonder they got rid of it

Armstrong had enough he posted I chased him around and shot him with a BB gun about ten times, but he's still laughs Oh Like this squirrel he't go down easy. He's like the Terminator. On Wednesday, Armstrong told Miami Herald he was fine and that the squirrel is still roaming around. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, small mammals such as squirrels, rats, mice, hamsters, guinea pigs, gerbils, chipmunks, rabbits, and hares are almost never found to be infected with rabies and have not been known to cause rabies among humans in the United States. The squirrel is not rabid, Armstrong said.

They can be aggressive when handled or raised by humans. Best to leave them be. Wait. Wow. They can be aggressive when raised by humans? That when humans raise small animals, they become aggressive? Do they learn from us? Crandor, is this like one of those things where the squirrel's like, I learned it from you!

But it's a person? Oh my god. This is a story. This says a lot. This story says a lot about us. It does. That's a no-doubter. I wonder if their kid was biting people and the squirrel saw.

Do you think someone in the family is biting the squirrel? And the squirrel's like, I learned it from you, Daddy. Oh, it's got to be. There's no other explanation. There's no other explanation. No other explanation. Period's no other explanation no other explanation period none absolutely zero wow that story is great the squirrel is a great still still on the loose still in the town still causing trouble this is like when they try to capture jason or freddy

but they just can't do it he's still out there he's still out there roaming searching for his next victim to attack and run away i like it that's a good story that is a good story i like that one well i think that's it for us today thank you so much for listening and watching however you are enjoying this fine content warning you about the plague of squirrels but But Crandor, hit up the socials. We have so many socials for you to check out. First up, you got YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor if you want to see some fun, diddly fun, fun animations

of us talking and someone talented animating it. We also have YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast if you want to listen to these on YouTube. We have SoundCloud.com slash Cox and Crandor. We got Spotify Cox and Crandor. Just search you want to listen to these on YouTube, we have SoundCloud.com slash Cox and Crandor. We got Spotify, Cox and Crandor. Just search us on Spotify. We're on iTunes. We got YouTube.com slash Jesse Cox.

If you want to see his copyright struck hard work, go to nothing. We got YouTube.com slash Crandor. If you want to see all my videos I made five years ago or content I make on Twitch, upload it over there. We've got Twitch.tv slash jessicox, twitch.tv slash crendor, twitter.com slash jessicox, twitter.com slash crendor, tweet us your Florida

man stories, tweet us squirrel attacks, tweet us I don't know, whatever else you want. Also, please share us and stuff. I don't know, that's all I got. That's it for us. Thank you so much. We'll see you next time and as always

Beep! To be continued.