Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 196 - Two Years and $500 Well Spent

Episode Date: May 13, 2019

The boys are back once again to talk about the important issues of the day - like weird voice acting dreams, strange looks into the creation of men made of meatballs, and other such nonsense. Also we've got a big announcement for those in the midwest! All this and more on another exciting episode of Cox n' Crendor! Get $30 off 23andMe's Health + Ancestry Kit at http://23andme.com/cox

Today's episode is brought to you by 23andMe! 23andMe, it is the perfect time to get your mom something if you forgot, and what could be better than learning about herself and why she had kids like you, you forgetful, terrible, terrible children. Come on! Well, now you can get her a 23andMe starter kit, but we'll talk about that later. Let's jump in to this podcast hello everybody it's time for constant trend dog 4-Hour Reporting Studios. Recording. Wake your ass up.

It's Cucks and Grendel in the morning. Cucks and Grendel in the morning. Hello, everybody. It's Tom and I'm signing off. Cucks and Grendel in the morning. Whoa. Did you forget we were doing this? Where are you at?

Whoa. What? You're like down the hall what was what what happened uh did i start without you you're like wait for me well here's uh here's what i was doing all right so when i start these episodes i'm like what am i gonna do what am i gonna do for the intro thing never Sure. I never planned it out. So I was like, maybe I'll just be like, hey, it's me, Grendor. I was like, maybe I'll be like a woo!

Or maybe I'll be like a ah! But I kind of just, like, got down to the floor and was just like, ah! And, uh, Wait, you were on the floor for that? Yeah, I went down like here. Like down here. just like that. Yeah, no, my God, that's great.

Just great. Yeah, so you might have to add that one to the arsenal of ideas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where you just laid down on the ground and gave up. You're like, eh. Well, I didn't, like, lay down on the ground. I just crouched down to the ground and gave up. You're like, eh. Well, I didn't lay down on the ground. I just crouched down to the ground. Oh, so you put an effort.

Yeah, I'm still in the chair. I'm like half just kind of leaning down like this. Almost like if you were to fall off the chair. Like, what? But I didn't fall. Oh, I would never care that much. I would never do that. Well, I know that. That's why I gotta do it. Well, hold on. Maybe I can do like... Hold on. What if I do all right that far uh that's like halfway it's that

super far doesn't sound super tight it's a tiny room I can't really get far anywhere what if you like turn around like turn around and be like, whoa. Whoa. That's a little better. Still pretty close. Well, well. It's a little better. I don't care that much. It's a little too much for me. Hey, everybody.

Hey, what's going on? Hey, before we start. Okay. We have to stop teasing people. I think we should get this out of the way now. Okay. So people will leave us alone. All right. Because everyone's asking, what are you guys hinting at? What's this thing happening

in Chicago? What is going on in August? Yep. Cox and Crandor. Live. In Chicago. August 14th. Lincoln Hall. Doors open at 7 p.m. Show starts at 8. 18 plus. It is technically a bar. It is going to be the single greatest thing ever. And more importantly, tickets go on sale Friday, May 17th at 10 a.m. Chicago time, which I guess that means 8 a.m. Pacific time. Real time. Real time Real time and you can get them at Cox

And Crandor or Coxandcrandor.com And they'll both link to the same thing And Right now you can try all you want to go there It's just there's nothing there It's a white page that's like I wonder if anything's here But at 10am

It will be alive with stuff. So I guess it's 11 East Coast. A lot of people play music and stuff there. Yes. I guess we're just going to go up and be like, hey, how's it going? I'm excited. I might eat some pizza and meatballs. Definitely meatballs.

We're going to do a live show. We're going to do a live podcast. Yeah. It's going to be great. And you can come join us because, as I've said, getting Crandor to leave is impossible. So we're bringing it to him. Yep. That's the easiest way to do it.

We're bringing the podcast to him. Thank God. Yeah. So, yeah, it's like we've done this in, I guess we've technically done it, like, at PAX's before and at CoxCon. It's the exact same thing, except tickets are limited. It's a venue. So, unlike a PAX or a CoxCon where you can fit 1,000 people in, this is, like, 250 tickets. So, if you want to get in, you've got to fight people to get in.

Especially the bouncer at the door. Don't fight him. No, don't fight Big Stevie. He will kill you. Big Stevie will kill you. That's our mountain. I'll be like Cersei. Wait a minute, if he's the mountain, am I Cersei?

Yo, yes, I'm definitely Cersei because you're 100% Qyburn. You're super Qyburn. Oh, yeah. I've created some sort of meatball concoction. The mountain's more meatball than man now. He'll be an actual meatball guy. Hey, sorry.

Can't get it. Shaw's close. Yeah, so come on down. We would love to see you. It is on a Wednesday, I believe. The perfect day right in the middle of the week. That way we can go to bed. After the show ends, we're like, oh, no party.

I'm going to bed. It's going to be great. It's going to be so much fun. Yeah, I love that part. um yeah it should be good be exciting plus i'll uh outside of the show i'll have a lot of non-content i'm just filming you being here i can't wait maybe we'll put a video together and or clips for the show yeah it'll be call it live cox and crendor live But recorded two days ago Now that's creative Now that's creative

I'll take you to Ikea Take you to get a meatball Take you to get a deep dish Pizzeria Wait a minute can I ask you a question How do you get around I have a car You drive

What you think I don't drive I've never I've known you I have a car. You drive? What, you think I don't drive? I've never, I've known you years and I've never seen you drive. I've driven a car since I was like 18. I've been driving for like 12 years. Not once have I seen you drive a car. Well, I don't have to drive around you because you drive. Or I just take Uber.

That's what I'm saying. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. I've never, for as long as I've known you, I've never, the idea of you driving a car has never once crossed my mind until today. Don't worry. I'll give you the Crandor driving chauffeur experience. I can't wait. I'm so excited. Get out of the fucking road.

I've never, I don't know what that says about me i've never once thought like yeah crendor must drive cars not once have i ever thought that about you not once yeah i mean i don't know who you think i just like uber everywhere i'm sure there's some people that actually do just uber everywhere maybe i don't know if maybe you took the chicago rail lines i have no clue some people do yeah i mean i bought my car like five years ago i literally just paid it off like a month ago damn you are you are free of debt you're debt free free of debt i mean i could have paid it off but it was building up my credit so i was like whatever just let it keep paying right right right i got you know yeah yeah all right you and i'll pay that up bro yeah yeah now you can now you can go buy a house or whatever it is people do after they pay off their car

exactly um not me forever in debt forever in debt yeah or just buy something else like wow i gotta replace that debt with some other debt it It's weird that that's how it works, where it's like, yeah, if you want to get your credit score up, constantly be in debt? What? That's the Animal Crossing way, honestly. You're right. They're just like, hey, you built your room. Now you build another one. Like, I guess, okay.

Sounds good. Yeah, you have to get creative. You have to realize, if you're like, well, I don't have any debt, you're doing it wrong. You have to get creative. You have to realize if you're like, well, I don't have any debt, you're doing it wrong. You have to owe someone something. There's the Ren Fair, but it's only on the weekends. I don't know if you'd see the Mud Brothers. Oh my god. I'd go just to see the Mud Brothers.

I'd show up on a Friday just to come in to see the Mud Brothers. Yeah, that would... Yeah, they're always there on the week. It's a Saturday, Sunday. They're always there. Oh, my God. Can I tell you?

Can I tell you? All right. Everyone in there, brother, has been talking about the Renaissance Fair here in L.A. for the last few weeks. And they're just like, going to the Ren Fair, really excited for the Ren Fair. First off, I've never been as excited for anything as they are for this rent fair and every time i see photos it's literally just them standing in a field dressed like an idiot and i'm like what is what is so great about this why are you so excited i don't get it i don't get it i guess people have fun doing that i have fun watching the people dressed like idiots walking around i'm like dude they must be like like 800 degrees inside that

thing i'm not wearing like shorts and a t-shirt just walking around watching'm like dude they must be like like 800 degrees inside that thing i'm not wearing like shorts and a t-shirt just walking around watching the mud brothers having a beer it's great i like can i ask you to date how many times have you seen the mud brothers uh three times three months of shows that's three too many you've gotta see it. I feel like I have to experience for me. It's a three, maybe four,

five, seven in a lifetime experience. I'm really excited. I feel like, yeah, I need to, I need to go experience. I don't know why I need to, but I feel like it's part of this show.

Now I owe them. I owe them at least the tip. Yeah. Yeah. You all, you have to see at least the tip. Yeah. Yeah. You all, you have to see at least one figgy pudding, eat mud in person. Are you saying there's more than one figgy pudding?

I don't know if they replaced them, but I mean, you gotta see at least one of those figgy puddings, eat mud. No doubt. I don't like that. I don't like that figgy pudding is interchangeable. I don't like that. I don't like that figgy pudding is interchangeable. I don't like that.

Figgy pudding should be figgy pudding. Can you eat mud? Yeah, we'll put them in. That's it. You're our new figgy pudding. Get out there. Yeah, we can go around the city and do stuff. I don't know what we'll do.

I mean, there's a bunch of shit. There's the typical touristy stuff, which is the Ferris wheel, Navy Pier, all that. That stuff's okay, but you don't know the true Chicagoan experience. Yeah, no, that's what I want. I don't want the touristy. I want the true Chicagoan experience. I'll give that to you. Don't worry.

All right. Day one. I get there. What's the first thing we do? Very first thing. All right. First thing. You got to hit up Ikea.

No doubt. How is that the first thing? First thing. How is that the first thing? All right. In Chicago. In Chicago. Of all the places.

You got to go to Ikea. You got to get. You got to eat some sort of meatball not even an ikea meatball like like you get a meatball sub you gotta get a meatball sub from one of those like italian places like sure garbadollies or like pasta chulies or something uh then you gotta those are not real names i guarantee they are garbado are. Garbadollies? Garbadollies. I guarantee there's probably something named that.

Screw it. I'm looking up Garbadollies right now. Tony Mamonis. Or like... Garbadollies. Big Al's. One of them's going to have meatballs. Here's the thing. In Spain, there's some places called Garbadollies.

I'm telling you, they're probably going to have some. You think I'm making this stuff up? Can I just tell you, first off, it's not in Spain at all. It's in Puerto Rico. And second off, Garbadollies is, and I quote, permanently closed. All right. They're having some issues. Well, yeah, that sucks.

Sorry. Sorry, Garbadollies. You got to try the deep dish. dish like not like any of the frozen ones you've tried before you gotta try fresh out of the oven oh yeah sure i mean that makes sense i would see that's what i was thinking when you were like yeah when you were like yeah we'll go someplace and then you were just ikea that's where we're gonna go uh yeah you gotta you gotta do that uh then you gotta have the lady the the like 50-year-old lady, bring it out being like, here's your deep dish,

and like slice it up. That's an experience. Let's see. It's the little things. I'm gonna enjoy this trip. I know I'm gonna enjoy this trip. I don't know. I'll think of some other stuff.

I'm not a good like off the top of my head person this is why I failed tests they'd be like remember the answer to 8 plus 50 billion divided by square root of 8 and I'm like I remember this and then I don't remember and then they tell you after and I'm like oh yeah that's what it was right yeah sure

I think you forgot I think that's how forgetting works and you're like oh yeah I forgot here's the good news for all of you out there. Again, if you forget later this week and you're like, I remembered on a Monday, but I have to last a whole week remembering, we'll tweet it out, put it on the old Facebook, links everywhere. It's going to be coxincrendor.com, coxincrendor with just an N,.com.

It'll be co in Crandor live Will be another link look there's a million links To get there and it will have tickets And you'll buy them through the box office For the venue and Then you'll be one of the few The lucky few who get to come see a live Show in Chicago and if it

Is great and people love it We'll consider doing more It won't be often, but it'll happen. Yeah. You also gotta take the train at least once. That's a fun experience. Can we just take the train and not just sit on it for a long time? I mean, if you keep giving them money, they'll

sit on the train as long as you want. Sounds great. So, it'll be good. Good stuff. Alright. Well, that's an announcement. There you go. There you go, Internet. Now you're in the know. Now you get it.

Now you get it. So what'd you do this week? What happened in your life? Yeah, what did I do this week? This week, oh, yeah, I started buying some, like, protein shakes because you go to the gym. Oh, you're on full buff boy mode. I like this. Yeah, go to the gym.

And then I'm like, well, I'm hungry right after. But, like, you know, you got to, like, find something to eat or, like, go home and make food. And I'm like, let's get these protein shakes. And then it's just like, boom, you just mix it up and you drink it right there and you're working out. And then, you know, you get your muscles going right there. And then they're asking for that protein you gotta buff them up asking for those those calories uh so did your trainer tell you to do that or did you decide to do it uh well i mean they say it's a good idea to do that but you only want to do it like either before or after working

out otherwise it's really no point. That's when your body's like, yo, feed me, dude. So I've been doing that. I don't know. What else have I done? What else have you done? That's why I asked. It's been another normal week. It was cold this week again. Oh, no. Hold on.

I gotta get my phone. It's in the other room. Hold on. Okay. okay hey what is this this is like this is like stuff I would do that's crazy yeah dude it's been cold this week but it's like you know it's not like cold cold it's just like chilly so it's gonna be let's see now supposed to get into the high 60s, low 70s. Now we're hitting it, man. Now we're hitting it. That's the good stuff. But then it gets, like, too hot.

You start getting, like, even 80. Low 80s, not too bad. You get high 80s, all right. Start to go up there. But, I mean, sometimes, you know, you get. This is important. Sometimes you want that, like a sauna or a steam room or something. But that's like a brief thing.

Like, you don't want it all day long. Like, you want to go out for like half an hour. And then before you know it, boom, I ought to go back in. What are you telling people? He's talking about temperatures. Ah, of course. Right. Yeah.

So I was like, wow, this is something I would do. Just leave to go get a phone for like 30 seconds.'ve like turned into me so I just kept talking about temperatures I left in the other room so I had to run to the other room to grab my phone because I had a dream and I want you to hear about my dream. I realized this is like This shows how long we've been doing this for like somebody that's like new we're doing this probably would be like all right I'll wait and like wait for editing and I'm just just like, so used to live streaming and doing everything. I'm just like, yeah, let me tell you about temperatures. I don't like them.

I don't like the concept of temperature. I don't like the feeling of temperature. Frankly, temperatures are overrated. Some temperatures are okay, but when they get a little too temp, that's what I'm getting a little too temp myself, if you know what I mean. Not a clue.

Okay, let me tell you about mean. Not a clue. Okay. Let me tell you about my dream. All right. So this past week, I went to Blizzard Entertainment for a thing they did, and I'm not allowed to talk about it, but for some reason, I guess because I was there, someone mentioned to me on a stream I did, they were like, oh, you should do voices for Warcraft. And I was like, that's never gonna happen, but thanks.

So I had a dream that I got an audition to go to Blizzard to do voices and like go audition to be in Warcraft. And the voice audition was presided over by this Council of Dragons.

That's what I wrote here. A council of dragons was watching over me as I did my audition. I did amazing, and they were like, we'll be in touch in a dragon voice. As I was leaving, listening to a friend talk to me about how he thought I nailed it, one of the staff approached me like, great job, dude. He was also a dragon. Do you think you can take a look at this character for me? We think you'd be great at it.

Of course, I said yes, but as I went to record the new boss dialogue, the line we read was, I see you, El Champon. Wait, don't fight without me. I said, is this a typo? What does El Champon mean? And they said, is this a typo? What does El Champon mean? And they said it means champion. And I was like, why can't we just say champion?

And they said, because he has a deep, gruff voice, and you need to say it like El Champon. It's for a new type of character. I attempted to do this, but every time I said El Champon, my voice cracked. And I couldn't do it.

I repeatedly tried over and over, but could never say the word El Champon. El Champon. El Champon. Yeah, the line read, I remember it. In my mind, I must have said it a hundred times, like, I see you, El Champon.

Like, I kept saying it like that. And my friend goes, it's okay. We'll do another voice some other day. And I started to leave, and I was out in the parking lot screaming, El Champon, over and over again until I woke up. Oh, my God. Yeah. El Champon. I don't know what the hell El Champon means, but there you go.

El Champon. El Champon. I don't know what the hell El Champon means, but there you go. El Champon. El Champon. I remember it was all one word because I saw it on a sheet of paper, which makes me think, you know how in dreams you're not supposed to be able to read? Mm-hmm. Do you think that's what my brain, when they were like, it's champion, my brain saw the words El Champon? Do you think I was in that room and I was supposed to say champion, but I kept saying El Champon

over and over again? And they were like, you're saying it wrong, Jesse. And I'm like, El Champon! El Champon. El Champon. It was a terrifying dream. It was unpleasant. It was almost a nightmare. Literal dragons

are like, you're doing a good job. I'm like, oh, okay. I'll champon. So that's what happened. That reminded me, I had a dream where rocks were falling out of the sky. Is that a premonition? I don't know. It's just like, there's still these rocks falling out of the sky.

And I'd like dodge them and stuff. That's all I remember from the dream, though. I didn't have a dream, but I was laying in bed one night listening to a recent Radiolab. And the whole episode literally was just like, what killed the dinosaurs? We're going to re-look at that again. And at the end of the episode, a guy comes on and he's like, here's the real story of what we've discovered so far. And he describes that if a meteor hit the Earth on one side, the way the dinosaurs died, dinosaurs on the other side of the planet wouldn't even have known it was happening

until their blood started boiling and they, like, vaporized. I was like, that sounds terrible. I'm laying in bed, like, listening to this horrible story go down, and I'm just like, well, I'm not sleeping now. I was like, holy shit. Oh, that sounds fun. They're they're like yeah the other side of the earth got hit by a meteor we wouldn't know till we were already dead I'm like awesome that's so cool to know Jesus that's Wow yeah I was like oh great

delightful and then I remember and then because I read too much this is my problem I know I know too much because I read too much, this is my problem. I know too much. Because I read too much, I know for a fact that we only cover with telescopes a very small fraction of the sky. So there's just areas of the sky we don't see into space. Like, we just don't see certain trajectories. So there could be a meteor coming for us right now. We wouldn't know. That's what I hate about learning stuff. That's what I'm saying.

The more I learned, I was like, this sucks. We are in no control of our destiny. We're all screwed. F it. I was trying to research things. It just makes you sad. It makes you anxious. And I'm like, they go back to just playing video games.

Yeah, the more you learn, the more you realize we as a collective society don't know all that much. We just think scientists have it figured out. And most scientists are just like, no, we're just taking it one day at a time. We're learning new things every day. We don't really know. And you're like, oh, my God, we are all just floating in a void of space. And we are one bad day away from not existing. Like, oh, yeah.

It is crazy. It is crazy. And I started doing yoga every day because of it. Oh, yeah. You like all zenned out? Yeah. I mainly started doing it every morning because of my back being like, ugh. But I was like, hey, it'll probably help me out.

And it has. Whenever I do yoga, I feel like, hey, let's go go do stuff today instead of just like looking at my phone or doing ever. It's just like a good way to wake up. I I yeah, don't use my phone. I had to like not use my phone a bunch. And then my life got a little bit better. I was just like, you know what? Phone, I think I'm done with you today.

The only thing I use it for now are podcasts and books. Like books on tape. Books on tape? Oh my god. Books on tape? And occasionally, if I'm away from home and I need to do a thing on the

internet, I'll go to one of the browsers and the only way I can use Twitter on my I need to do a thing on the internet. I'll go to one of the browsers and the only way I can use Twitter on my phone is going to a browser. And let me tell you, that's not pleasant, but it gets done. So yeah, I'm just like, apps be gone. I'm done. I'm just

gonna be chill. Although I'm not gonna lie, I downloaded that Snapchat app thing again so I could make myself look like a woman. Classic. Yeah, I will say one thing. I looked hilarious, but my dad looked even funnier. I did it on him and it was

so effing funny. My mom looked like the suavest guy. I feel like women lucked out on this shit. All the women, when they turn into guys look incredible they look like dudes who definitely would sleep with you and then never call you every single one of them

meanwhile the guys are all over the place guys who turn like guys turn into girls some of them are just like wow that's a very attractive woman and some are like oh yeah okay well you tried pal yeah i think uh oh mine was all right i was happy with crendalina crendalina uh great name by the way uh she was she was she was all right. She probably would definitely be a friend of Fat Thor.

Oh, my God. I don't believe. I can't believe that no matter what, my beard just got worse. Every angle, it made it longer and weirder looking. I was like, why would it give me more beard? It doesn't make any sense. Why would I get more? It doesn't make sense. I don't get how it didn't get rid of

your beard. I have no clue. Yeah, so that's how I spent my entire week is trying to become a sexy woman and I failed. So really we didn't do anything this week either. Much like last. No, not really. No, not really. Didn't do anything this week either. Much like last. No, not really.

No, not really. Didn't you try to remove all your phone stuff already like two months ago? Yes, and every time I do, I end up downloading more stuff for something I'm doing. Like a great example is to show you what's going on my phone now. Because I was trying to figure out how to Send gifs properly on my phone I had to download the giphy app And then I downloaded a hotel app Because I was staying at a place

And then I just downloaded snapchat again And google meet google hangout or whatever I want to get rid of these And I will but every time I clear my phone And I have like a pristine almost empty Like phone screen I have to download more stuff for weird things I'm involved with.

I mean, yeah, you know, it always works its way back in. I just keep on keeping on. That's all you can do. Me too, man. Me too. I keep on. I keep off. I keep around. But that's all I do anymore. Keep off, keep around.

That's like a mantra. Yeah, keep on, keep off, keep around, but that's all I do anymore. Keep off, keep around. That's like a mantra. Yeah, keep on, keep off, keep around. When next time you're meditating and doing yoga, keep on, keep off, keep around. Keep on, keep off, keep around. Hold on. They have to mean something. What does the keep on mean? Keep on trucking.

Keep on trucking. Keep, hold on. They have to mean something. What does the keep on mean? Keep on trucking. Keep on trucking. Keep off the grass. Keep feeling the beat. Keep around town. There you go. Done. Yeah. It's like the live, laugh, love. Yeah. Except ours is better. It has to be explained.

Okay. Well, speaking of explained. Okay, well, speaking of eat, pray, love, Mother's Day is today and at least for us in the States. And if you are like me and you love your mama, you want

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All right, Crandor. Let's go. Jumping outside the sky. Crandor has a traffic out there in the sky! Crandor, there's a traffic out there! Everybody, we're doing a traffic. Hey, I'm looking at you right now. It's still cold outside most places.

In fact, the east coast looks like they're getting whacked by a big cold storm. So you gotta watch out if you live over there. Other places, they're hot. Other places are cold. Other places, other places are Thanks Quentinor, now let's go over to Quentinor at the weather desk. How's that weather? Weather.

Speaking of weather, I'm a weather guy. Let's hit up the old 74954, and we're going to Roland, okay? That's Oklahoma. Oh, Roland, okay. We're Roland, okay. All right. Tell me about Oklahoma. No problem. There's. Tell me about Oklahoma. No problem.

There's 70 degrees in Oklahoma tonight. It's going to be 50 degrees, though. But tomorrow, 77 degrees. Monday night, 56. Tuesday, 82. Tuesday night, 60. That's not too bad. They've also got 71% humidity.

Pretty humid over there. Watch out for that humidity. It'll hit your face. And let's see. Where is Roland? Roland looks like it is on the, but wow, that's like as east as you can go in Oklahoma. It's actually pretty close.

No, wait, no, not the panhandle. It is, where is it? Arkansas. It's, yeah, it's right next to Arkansas. Like you could probably get to Arkansas in about 10 10 minutes damn yeah that's really close um so uh yeah hey good for you down there having fun there's gotta be somebody living in roland right uh wait that's like roland i know there's a lot of things they hate it there's a lot of places that are named like that. It's like Rowland. Someone named Row

had that land. Yeah, it was Roseland. Yeah. And there's like you know other lands. I was trying to come up with a name. Yeah, I follow. Sure, yeah.

Or you know, Anderson. That's like Anders' son. But that's like an actual place you can go to. Right, it's Anders' son. Yeah, there's a lot of those. I always find them interesting. It's like, ah, that's a little backstory into that history right there. I don't know.

Plus, who is Anderson? More at 11. And that's the weather. I'm trying to figure out exactly why it's named Roland, Oklahoma. Let's see. Roland. But apparently it was a rural community in the Cherokee Nation until 1888 when Kansas and Arkansas Valley Railroad built a railroad line through it. Ah, history.

This is Rose Land now. Of course we did that. Oh, my God. Yep, of course that's what happened. You know, like in your mind you just picture someone being like, can I claim this land in the name of Rome? And really it's like, Rose here, out of the way. Building shit, get out.

Well, here's what's crazier. The formerly dispersed residents coalesced into a small town called Garrison, or Garrison Creek. The post office was established in 1902, and the town renamed itself to Rowland in 1904.

Oh. Well, why'd they do that? I don't know. That's a good question. Even though Wikipedia doesn't say anything about it. Why would they do that? Because Roland probably came in and was like, it's my town. All right.

Well, there you go. Now we know. Now we know. That's the weather of Roland, Oklahoma. Will I remember it? I probably won't. Let's the weather of Roland, Oklahoma. Will I remember it? I probably won't. Let's go to sports. Sports.

We've had some crazy sports stuff going on. Crazy sports stuff. So we've had the finishing game to the Nugs versus the Blazers. And the Blazers have won. They smoked the Nugs. And they're advancing. Blazers smoked the Nugs, man. They'll be advancing

to the championship game to take on the Golden State Warriors who are there every year, pretty much. Yeah, too many times. We've got the Milwaukee Bucks taking on either the 76ers or the Toronto Raptors. It is 75-71 with eight minutes to go in that game.

Toronto is up, so going to be a close finish over there, game seven. Will Benjamin Franklin win or will the Dinosaur win? Find out next time or look it up on the internet. That would be a great actual battle. Ben Franklin versus a dinosaur? Well, one of them is going to have to take on a buck next week. So that will be interesting. But who will win, the Warriors or the Blazers?

Will the weed smokers win or will the Warriors that smoke weed where they live win? Yeah, let's be real. They're from San Francisco, so they're definitely high. Also in baseball, a lot of baseball

action. You got the Cubs have been doing pretty well, actually. They're in first place now up a game over the Brewers then you get the Cardinals falling down they've lost three in a row Dodgers in first Phillies in first you got Houston in first and the other side Minnesota and Tampa Bay and the Yankees up top over there also Also in hockey, the other big playoff sport going on, Boston won today. They've got a 2-0 lead over Carolina.

And San Jose is up 1-0 on the Blues from St. Louis. I'm fine with Boston winning. Boston is a hockey town. They deserve to win. That's true. They are a hockey town. But then it's just like they've won so many things. They win baseball.

They win football. Now they're going to win hockey too. Yeah, well, they have to show those damn New Yorkers what's up. That's true. I'd rather they win than New York. Yeah. So that's good. Football, they had the NFL draft a while ago,

but we don't get any NFL football for another couple months. What about football? Football. I know some crazy stuff happened in actual soccer football. What about football? Yeah, my timeline's filled with crazy stuff about football. Let's see. Yeah, I saw that too.

Where is this? Manchester City beat Brighton and Hove. Liverpool beat Wolverhampton. I love that we really don't know what we're saying right now. Let's see. The thing

is, I don't know what to look for here. Oh, Manchester City wins Premier League title. Reigning goals leave no doubt, is what this article says. They could have got upset by somebody, but then they didn't. I think that's what happened. If anyone wants to tell us what happened in the comments, please do. Yeah, let us know.

All these guys look very excited. They're holding up a trophy with a crown on it. It's like a Mario Kart cup, it us know. All these guys look very excited. They're holding up a trophy with a crown on it. It's like a Mario Kart cup, it looks like. Yeah, I think it was like the underdog team made it really far. Super jealous. They didn't upset Manchester or something. I think that's what happened. I don't know.

Yeah. Pep Guardiola added a second Premier League title to earlier trophies he won in Barcelona and Bayern Munich. Right, guys? Yeah. Pep is the best coach in the world, this guy says. He puts some pep in your step. All right, Crendo, what is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day.

What is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. It's no secret that Florida has produced some of the nation's most bizarre news stories, and now Oxygen Network said it plans to showcase some of the state's most outlandish crimes in a new television show. Copycats is what the show should be called. Copycats. Because they're stealing our ideas. Stealing them.

Let's see. The challenge required people to search the term Florida man. Oh, wait. Yeah, here we go. Look at this. Florida man reportedly wanted to flirt with Waffle House waitress pulls knife out. Like, we've probably covered that. Yeah, I mean, someone in Florida has already done that before.

If you're going to flirt in Florida, it involves a knife every single time. It's very true. People know know that that's just facts um let's see what else we got what the shit three bavaria hotel guests found dead from crossbow bolts oh my god that's terrifying that is terrifying um a woman broke into a stranger's home petted the family's dog washed dishes and left i mean i saw that article and she looks like she'd be the person to do that she does she looks like she's like maybe 25 but 50 yeah yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. There's got to be a better story than that. There's got to be a good one down here. Let's see.

South Dakota man accused of stealing $500 worth of sex toys from a house over a period of two years. Wait a minute. Time out. There's a lot to that story. Whoa. I have questions. to that story. Whoa. I have questions. I have so many questions. All right. Let's see what's... This is the story.

This one's important. Let's see what's here. South Dakota man is accused of stealing $500 worth of sex toys from a couple's home over a period of two years. 25-year-old Brody Fuchs of Tyndall. His name's Brody Fuchs and he stole sex toys? Get that out.

He is charged with second-degree burglary. He says Fuchs took a bunch of items from the residence in Tyndall, which is near Nebraska borders. As an avidot says the couple had installed a camera system inside the house, which caught Fuchs entering the home for about

40 seconds and leaving. Time out, time out, time out, time out. Okay. Do you think the camera system was installed to prevent stuff from being stolen or because they're freaks? Think about it. Think long and hard about this. I feel like he was just a victim Of being caught on film

And it was unintentional I have a feeling How are you going to steal $500 in sex toys Over two years That just the implication there is that There was not only At least $500 in sex toys But enough that he could get away with

Stealing a little bit at a time Over two years and no one would at least $500 in sex toys, but enough that he could get away with stealing a little bit at a time over two years and no one would notice until eventually he stole the wrong thing. Think about that. Over two years. He's got some information. Okay.

A deputy recovered a number of sex toys during a search of the suspect's residence. McGuire did not say whether Fuchs knew the couple. A phone number for Fuchs knew the couple. A phone number for Fuchs could not be found. So, it's possible he knew them. But, because they didn't say. Why did he need so many of these?

More importantly, why did he need them over such a slow period of time? Think about the timeline on this. It's insane. Do you think he tried one and was like, well, that was fun. I'm going to go get another. He went back and took another, and then another. If you're that couple,

how do you just, where do these toys keep going? Well, that's what I was saying. Do you think they have so many toys? Do you think they have so many toys that they didn't notice? They just didn't notice that they were missing, like, the rabbit tickler model four because they had models five, six, and seven, right?

Like, I'm just curious how $500 over two years seems like a lot. Is this guy, like, stealing them because he's just like, I just need some toys? Or is he like, yeah, this is Susan's. It smells like her. He's got birthdays to get gifts for. Right? It's the only thing that makes sense to me. He's like, I got birthdays coming up.

Why did he steal it from them and not, like, the store? Because they were easier to steal from plus they had so many that the selection was much wider than the store they had like a whole selection you can't find that in just one store that's true it did take them like two years to find this guy yeah just i again i want to believe that those cameras were always there, and they were on one time when he happened to steal stuff. I want to know about the couple. I don't care about this guy. I want to know about this couple. I want to know about this couple.

In my mind, they're 50 plus. Right? In my mind, they are old swingers, and they are DTF. I need to know more about this couple let's see is there any updates here i like how that's what you're looking up your south dakota sex toy i need them from there uh do you think there's a company that just makes so here's the thing South Dakota what else you gonna do there think about it that's true nothing South Dakota yeah what are you gonna do there there's no like it's another click baby type it's like nobody

has the insider story no one ever has the ins wow yeah you're right they're They're like paragraphs. Yeah. There's nothing. He's 25. They don't tell about the couple. Oh, I found another piece of information. Okay. That has been left out. Yes. The man also said that other items had been stolen in the past. He said he would replace the items and

they'd be stolen again all right so this guy like wait hold on the man said he would replace him so is it a single dude no it's a couple no it says the man and his wife had installed a camera system inside the house when caught fuchs entering the home for about 40 seconds and leaving. According to the avidot, the man said he hadn't granted Fuchs entry to the house. McGuire did not say if they knew each other. The man also said that other items had been stolen in the past. He said he would replace the items and they'd be stolen again. Alright, well...

Just lock your door. Yeah, I don't... I would like to know what the toys were. I would like to know what the toys were I would like to know what the Use was They say these items Are those also the toys or are these different items Like a lamp or some shit

And what do they consider a sex toy Yeah Like what exactly would you consider a sex toy Right more importantly It's South Dakota so I figure their sex toy standards are a little lower. That's true. They're like condoms, those sex toys. We don't like them in this house, right?

Yeah. And that probably also like, oh, I love this fake plant. I don't know if that's true. We don't see any of these outside. It's just rocks and snow. I feel like we're making stuff up now. No problem. My favorite are the images.

If you search the images. Yeah, they just throw some like... None of them have anything to do with the actual article. This one is three women holding hands. I don't know why that would be associated with this. It's like, hey, Rob, what do we do for the story? Yeah, just throw some picture up there. All right.

Well, that is a hell of a way to end a podcast. So that's it for us. Thank you so much for listening or watching or however you're enjoying this fine entertainment. Crandor, end up with the socials. Hey, we got youtube.com slash coxcrandorpodcast. If you want to find this podcast on YouTube, click the like button, click the bell, notify yourself.

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whatever you'll probably find us and that's it alright well that's it thank you so much for listening and we will see you

next time and as always boop boop boop boop boop to be continued Thank you.