Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 197 - The Accent is on the Why?!

Episode Date: May 20, 2019

It's time for an all new Cox n' Crendor! Today's episode starts out going someplace and quickly derails into accents. What are the sexiest American accents. Why do sports broadcaster talk the way they do. All of that stuff. Will we brutally butcher YOUR accent in our lazy attempts!? All this and if we have time some news or something. It's COX n' CRENDOR! Get your first refill pack free at http://getquip.com/crendor Postmates is giving listeners $100 in free devliery credits when you download the app and use promo code: CRENDOR

Today's episode is brought to you by Postmates. Oh, Postmates. You don't even have to leave and get fun stuff delivered to you. From food, to boxes, to... I don't know. Smiles. I love stuff. Yeah.

Also today, we're brought to you by Quip. Quip is gonna make your teeth so sparkly clean, you're gonna go outside and people are gonna be like, Oh my god, I wanna kiss those lips. I don't know what that has to do with teeth, but we'll find out today. Ha ha ha! Hello, everybody! It's time for Ghost on Trendom!

Ghost on Trendom in the morning. In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios! Recording! Hello everybody, it's Tom, and I'm starting an episode on Cacks and Crandall in the morning. Hey, what's up? That's it? That's all you're gonna do? Yeah. Oh, okay.

Well, cool. You didn't answer. I guess. Oh, I'm. What's up? What's up? What? What's up?

What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? How old is that commercial? At least 20 years. At least 20. What least 20 was a commercial

yeah the 90s were a different time 99 yeah so 20 years at least 20 years uh damn uh well i guess that's what's up yeah that is what's up learning that we are now officially old men everyone knew that though we didn't learn that that's true we already learned that from all our health talk yeah you know what speaking of health talk

it would be very unhealthy for you to miss out on Cox and Crandor live guys the tickets went on sale Friday and they're almost gone hot dog they're almost gone like got my ticket yeah they're almost gone uh we're almost sold out so if you want to get on that you better get on it now because i don't know you're gonna miss out on the greatest live show there ever was one of the greatest mediocre shows to ever a show that will exist you're gonna miss out on yeah we make no

promises a show that will kill two hours of your time you're gonna miss out on it that's uh that's more like it yeah yeah a show that will waste your Wednesday night you're gonna miss out on it

that should be fun still yeah i think so for us probably uh but you should go to cox and crendor i believe i'm gonna go there right now i'll make sure everything works eric cox and crendor boom cox and crendor go there right now you click tickets it'll take you to the website which is the lincoln hall show page and uh yeah oh my god we're selling out quick we're selling out quick game i'm gonna see what happens when you cox in crendor because that one was giving people problems all right oh nope that one still doesn't work all right go to cox and crendor all right that's the one you gotta use yes and that will take you to the page that you can actually buy tickets uh don't worry though there's also links

all over my twitter account if you want to go and see that as well so get in there change your change your august make your august a better august with cox and crendor that's not true uh no okay all right i tried that's all you can do you can just try it but honestly at the end of the day johnson you don't know what you're gonna get telling my nickname because my last name is cox uh no i've just been calling everybody that that's my go-to like sports broadcast like tell you what johnson they don't know what's going on out there johnson's johnson no no no no no you clearly stole that from someone no clearly yeah but it's a stereotypical like broadcaster name johnson yeah i disagree i think johnson we'll take it up with john johnson up in the booth how's it going, John?

He's like, thanks, everybody. Welcome to the matchup we've got today. The Austin Bulldogs taking on the St. Clarence Fighters. We've got a battle for you out there. We've got a time out. What sport is this? This is probably basketball. The Fighters versus the Bulldogs.

That sounds like basketball. Yeah. The Bull, probably basketball. The fighters versus the Bulldogs? That sounds like basketball. Yeah. The Bulldogs definitely basketball. The Bulldogs shooting only 28% from the field, but the fighters up to 37%. What do you think is getting that done? Well, I was watching them the other day, and really they just play hard in defense.

They've been playing hard in defensive teams as as well really lock them down on the perimeter and uh if they can just get it going you know find some open shots take better shots i think that's really going to raise that percentage up we might see a good game uh-huh so you know i can i can go on for a while why are you doing this why are you doing this and not i don't know i just enjoy anything else any type of sports commentary i did this once on uh the northern lion show they kept telling me different sports and i would swap between sports it's like that's basketball and then you go to hockey or he's just like now watch this play you're right you see him use his stick really get it in there on the forecheck you get that that puck out of the wall. You kick it back to your defenseman. You take the shot straight into the net, and you get the lead.

Now, the mistake they made here. Watch this play. He's going to go for a pass, cross, ice, which is offside, but he avoids it by using fancy footwork to dance around the defenseman and get in and make a play on the net. If you get the puck to the net, you're going to have a good time at the end of the day why are again let me ask why are you doing this podcast and not in broadcasting why are you why aren't you doing real stuff with your talent because that's a talent you literally

are just multi-sports faceted well um oh then i gotta like go places and do stuff. That's true. You would have to do all of that. I guess that's your Achilles heel. Complete and total laziness. Let's see. Yeah, that's the problem. I'd do it if I didn't have to do it. I mean, baseball is just like, and here's the 3-2 pitch. Takes it outside.

Why would you take that pitch? Well, back in my day, you know, we didn't take that pitch. You know, we used to swing at it. We wouldn't get them all the time, the outside slider. But now they started throwing those inside cutters. Throws you off a little bit when you're, you know, at the plate trying to avoid getting hit. But you're still trying to drive that ball into the right field. Now they're playing the shift.

All right, they're shifting their team. First base, outfield. They're all shifting to the right because this guy never pulls the ball to left so really they're just playing to his strats and uh if you take a look at right field he's not a gold glove winner out there all right he doesn't have a great arm so if you get it to him even on the shift he's not gonna be able to throw home why would a broadcaster a sports broadcaster ever talk like that about just one but like that player on right field boy does he suck why is out there we don't know he is genuinely terrible yeah that's what you just said you're telling me that they're just like why they keep putting john johnson out in that field ranks and we don't know so that guy but you said that guy sucked think of it like an rpg all right his fielding is like a

two his feelings garbage his arm is weak he can't do anything but when he His fielding is like a two. His fielding's garbage. His arm is weak. He can't do anything. Why doesn't he raise his fielding level? He's probably trying. But you know what? When he bats, he's batting 320. He's got 15 homers, 35 RBIs almost halfway through the season. He's like usually the fat guy on the team.

Yeah. Who like swings really well, but like they stick him in the outfield and they're like, eh, just stand there. Usually they put them at first base because they don't got to move too much. Or there's Prince Fielder. Dude was huge, but he would smash home runs. There's a few other guys like that. I remember Prince Fielder. I like when people like Barry Bonds and stuff went from being really skinny dudes to

like 800 pounds of muscle man those are the good old days it's like wow he like he was a stick and now he's like jacked hitting 80 home runs a season how'd that happen natural natural supplements yeah hard work and natural supplementation. I've been watching some baseball. It's pretty fun. And then we'll see. I can tell. The only other one's football.

I can do football easily. Sure. What's your football? Is your football Madden? Football's like my Madden. Well, I can do most things. I can do all the various broadcasters. You got John Madden, who's just like, boom, right up the middle up the middle you gotta stick about a glove you know he's just out there and then there's the pat summer all where he was be like third down second down third down i don't know

which down it is i've had too much if i ever listened to a broadcast and a guy was like third down second down i'd like, this is the worst. This is the worst radio broadcast. John Madden and Pat Summerall broadcast the game. Of course I have. Cross the middle, touchdown, Buccaneers. Like he never gets excited. He's just always like.

That's good. Someone has to be there to like balance out. John Maddenden who's like ramming it up the middle oh he's in there deep look at this man pile drive this other man right from behind look at him he's in there spread those cheeks it's amazing you're like what the hell are you talking about he's got turkey legs coming out of his ass you don't even know where it's coming from. Then there's the Sunday Night crew, which is Al Michaels and

Chris Collinsworth. I don't mind them. Al Michaels is always like, it's me, Al Michaels here. Chris Collinsworth annoys me tremendously. Chris Collinsworth is like constantly drinking whiskey as well. He's always like, hey guys, Chris Collinsworth. Now you look at Aaron Rodgers.

That's a guy right there. He knows how to throw the football. He's got that douchey vibe to him a little bit too. Yeah. I had dinner with him the other day. Great guy. Yeah, I don't like him. He does have a douchey vibe.

I don't like anything about it. There's Joe Buck and Troy Aikman. That's always my like, I like them because they did the Packers Super Bowl run, but I don't like them because they're not good. So like Troy Aikman. Troy Aikman does suck. He's had like 40 concussions. He had like 40 concussions in the 90s back when they didn't know they were dangerous.

So he's just like out there. Hill and Hunter Meyer missed the field goal. And he'll be like, well, it's Hunter Hill and Meyer, and he's not the kicker. And he'll be like, oh, yeah. Well, Joe, these guys are playing football. And it's like, yep, that's right. And then Joe Buck is like a baseball announcer trying to do football.

He has a formula, I figured out. He does three words. That's right. And then Joe Buck is like a baseball announcer trying to do football. He has a formula I figured out. He does three words. That's his thing. He'll be like, Jennings, cross the middle, touchdown. Like he breaks it into three parts. That's his big thing he does. He does the same thing in baseball. Like, Bryant, deep to left, gone.

That's his formula or like when the Packers Super Bowl he's like Rogers down the sidelines Jennings like he just does that and that's his thing he does and it's not good. It's bad. That's why nobody likes him. It is the worst part is the worst part is I know you're not exaggerating too much. Look up Joe Buck. That's literally every call he makes is that I had to listen to him do the Cubs World Series, too. I'm upset that we don't have Spanish language television announcers for our sports.

If we had the passion of a few football announcers oh my god i would be so amped every time anyone did anything in sports especially baseball where it's really slow if you can just bring that excitement oh my god a lot of the radio people are really good though like these are all the tv people other radio announcers are really good because that's like the only thing they got is like they gotta have the voice so like but the radio announcers are always good because that's like the only thing they got is like they got to have the voice so like but the radio announcers are always the guys who are like and coming up to bat number 18 john johnson now i don't know if you're aware of this but johnson in the off season he helps little tiny baby tigers you know the tigers live with their parents for up to 15 years before venturing out on their own.

It's true. Also, being on your own can be tough. But thanks to Wealth Mortgage Financial Group, you won't have to be on your own for long. All right. And here comes the pitch. You're like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Every time I listen to the Cubs game, they'll be like, and another strikeout. You'll never strike out with Gold Coast Bank.

Gold Coast Bank for all your banking needs. I love the way radio broadcasters do it because they're just like they ramble and then throw ads in. They're like, yeah, and that's a home run. Oh, speaking of home runs, home real estate, which you can get and retail max or retail max real estate, which you can get. And retail max, real estate. They do that all the time. Every pitching change is sponsored by blah, blah, blah. Actually, the one Milwaukee brewer guy is good. I forgot his name, but he's always like, here we go.

He's got that old timey, like, and here come the Milwaukee Brewers. You're absolutely right. That's where they stick all the old guys who are like too ugly now for TV. Yeah. But they're like, did you know the first baseball game was played with a stick in the mud? Four men died that day. Oh, it was quite an event. They're like, what the hell?

They do like callbacks and be like, and here comes Prince Fielder. He reminds me of John Smithy from the 1662 baseball team that beat out the Black Sox back in the day. Man, I sure wish they'd... The 1662! I've been alive for 400 years. I'd like to die soon so I can stop feeling pain. I was bitten by a vampire in the Renaissance.

I have a castle somewhere in Italy. And here's the pitch. Ball one. This pitcher shirk and throw a strike to save his life yeah that's a look into uh announcing in sports yep that certainly is oh it's always fun when you watch like soccer or football it's like so worldwide that you get all the various announcing so like in brazil it's just like, oh! Or like Mexico, but then you go up to like

England and they're like, alright, draw a good shot from Johnson there. Takes it up to the parlor and he takes it right over to the keeper. Oh, there's a righteous Slytherin he gave him on that slide. Oh, but it's gonna be a red card. I just got that.

A righteous Slytherin. Oh, it's a righteous a red car I'm gonna go to the UK from now on this be like oh that's a rocket Slytherin what does that mean what could that possibly mean I don't know what anything they say in England means righteous Slytherin all I know is like every time I walk around there it's just you heard things like that it's like walking gobs smacked him right in the

came out in the kisser he fucking took his parlor right to the old queen he did. The queen fell that once she did. Run, unrighteous Slytherin. But I mean, you know, it's just accent. That's what's fun about accents. Like even in America,

it's like you just go from like Minnesota. Hold on. Speaking of accents, did you hear that the Boston accent was voted second sexiest accent in the United States? What? I know. I know. What was that? I feel like it was rigged.

I feel like there's no way anyone was like, yeah, when I think Boston, I think sexy accents. That is Texas accent is the sexiest this is wrong this is all wrong nothing about like hi y'all welcome hey there y'all welcome to texas what you gonna eat today i just don't if i saw a like very attractive woman and she walked over and was like hi y'all i'd be like but you would eat barbecue from that person oh yeah i would expect she cooks amazingly well and probably is a fun time to be around but probably i would prefer that none of us talked what about what if we all just silently had fun together well there's like the different types of the south there's like the southern bell south as well hey y'all southern bell south i like that with like oh hey y'all yeah lord it is so ever so hot like you know like a southern dandy i like that i'd be fun like lord i am getting the

vapes i'd be like you i like you but then yeah there's like the Louisiana, like, I have tastes that aren't easily pacified. What? That's a League of Legends book. I busted it out. Oh, okay. I didn't know what the hell you were saying. So Tom Kent, she's a catfish that walks around from Louisiana, and he'll be like, I have tastes that aren't easily pacified.

We must gormandize from time to time. He's great. I love him. unclog the frog Yeah, Texan Bostonian second fucking hell dude. I don't look this up. Yeah New York is three Texas we coming for you We got the best pizza Is this just gonna be us doing bad stereotypes the entire episode?

Hey, we're from New York is what we are. Four is Mainer. What's a Mainer accent? What is a Mainer accent? I feel like it's like, oh, we've got to go and get a main accent. I want to listen to it. Am I right? Am I close?

Leibster. It's like a lighter Boston That's all it is Well then why isn't it closer to Boston Number five is Chicago And I don't know how I feel about that We got a couple meatballs Sitting around Who voted for these

I'll put my meatballs and sausage Wherever I want to put them oh mississippi i bet that's the dandy it's like loud the mississippi river ever so flooded this time of y'all right hey you sound pretty sexy over there oh i am pretty sexy i'm'm wearing your Italian beef sandwich. I tell you what. Oh, my. Let me show you my crawdads.

Oh, my. I haven't had a crawdad since the old crawdad festival. I traveled back 1982. I think that was when the Bears played the Saints down in New Orleans. I went down there. A couple of guys had a good time. Oh, you'll like it. If you like crawdads, you know the tip is to suck the head.

Well, honestly, I don't know if a crawdad could compete with the 1984 Chicago Bears or the 1990 Chicago Bulls. That was just a different time. And then number seven is Hawaii? Aloha? What is the Hawaiian accent? I guess it's like... I don't know.

I mean, I guess I've... Is it like Lilo and Stitch? I guess so. Like... Right? Hawaiian accents. Lilo and Stitch. That may be the best Stitch I've heard.

I'm Stitch. I'm Stitch and I'm from Hawaii. Right? Hawaiian accents. Philadelphia. Philadelphia. Isn't that just like New York? Yeah, I thought it was very similar.

St. Louis. What's a St. Louis accent? New York and Chicago blended together. Philadelphia. California. What's a California? California's just like. Isn't that just like Valley Girl and Valley Guy?

Like, dude, bro. And she's like, what? I don't fucking know. Hold on. Time out. Number 14. Youper. What is a Youper accent?

My friends from the UP up there in Upper Michigan. It's kind of like a... It's a deeper Chicago. It's more like the Upper Peninsula, Michigan there. It's up there in Canada. That's the youper there. D, there's no, there, I know. They got a lot of D's in that there.

Called a walleye there. This big, eh? Kansas. Then it lightens up a bit. We're like, oh, sorry. Oh, that's bad. Saw the maple leaves lose again. That was bad. But then, oh, what you gonna do there, eh?

Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to bring it up. Let's go get some Timbs and call it a night, eh? Oh, dear. Cajun. Cajun should be up there. Oh, yeah. Cajun, I think, is the sexiest accent. Boudicamon, brosody. How is St. Louis?

It says St. Louis, Missouri has some unique features such as they swap the R for or as in 42 instead of 42 and corn for corn. Yeah, we got 42. How is that 9th?

How is that ninth? How was that ninth? Farty Tart. Farty Tart. Farty Tart. Northwestern eggs? Eggs. We got eggs. I would love to know people outside the U.S.

If you think any, no one outside the U outside the US ever thinks our accents are sexy period Yeah, everyone's like you all sound terrible No one's like oh You're from the you per country. Oh, is that a sexy Kansas accent I hear Alabama oh my like no one's like that meanwhile Lord Eddington the third's like and like people are all over his wiener no wrong I don't like it what

I don't know Alabama's ex wait extra R's added to words that don't need them like wash wash the car you better wash that car wash that car right there y that car wash that car right there y'all wash that car y'all

I tried I don't know bag got a couple bucks in my buck I tell you what I brought them back car butt based buck jerky took that buck jerky I ate it 15 times in about 20 seconds tell you what my stomach felt like an iron brick fell through the floor Midwestern accent

is that it's called Midland Speech, which sounds like something out of Game of Thrones. Midland Speech. The Midland Speech. We must light the flask for the Midland Speech. I don't even know what... It says Mary, Mary, and Mary rhyme. That's the Midwest. That doesn't make sense. Mary, Mary,

Mary. Mary? Mary. I know my dad, he's like, for me, he says tomatoes and potatoes. I don't know if that's a Midwest thing. Oh, I think I have the Midwest thing because when I say wolf, I say wolf. Wolf? Is that right?

When I say, oh, there's a wolf out there, I mean a wolf, but yes, but I say wolf, and I don't know why. I'm like, there's a wolf out there. I mean a wolf, but yes, but I say wolf. I don't know why. I'm like, there's a wolf out there. And it just sounds like wolf, like wolf wolf. A dog instead of a wolf. You're just saying it wrong. Oh my god, there's a

quiz. There's a quiz that Pittsburgh has, uh, Yuns. How's Yuns doing? Yuns going Dan Tan. Yeah. What the shit? Yeah. Yuns going Dan Tan. Often considered the ugliest in America. Those are my people. That's where my family's from.

On both sides of my family, they're from Pittsburgh. That's just great. Hellion's doing. There's a quiz online. How y'all use you guys talk and what is the way you speak say about where you're from answer the following questions to see your personal dialect map oh my god oh i have to log in with facebook past oh my god i no longer care stupid facebook

accent quiz stupid facebook accent quiz how y'all and you guys talk create an account or log in pass don't care all right uh if somebody finds a good quiz send it to us uh alaskan sounds similar to minnesota so that's just like order really alaska is basically just like more north... What was that? More north. More north. Whoa, what was that accent? Oh, shit. Floridian.

That including the sexy twang of Miami, the Florida accent is baffling mix of Midwest, Northeast with a hint of Southern. A sandwich is a sandwich. The people have spoken. I mean, that's just... Give me a sandwich. a sandwich the people have spoken I mean that's just a sandwich sandwich man I'll stab you man

give me a sandwich I'll kill the sandwich I'll kill it then I'll kill you Florida that's a Florida San Francisco everyone inida is just like yeah no that's right that's us yeah everyone else is like really offended by the accents and we do florida and they're like oh

that checks out when i was walking at the mall the other day there's these uh two women walking with this like one of their kids i don't know which one kid it was and the kid was like mommy i don't want to walk and she turned around and she's like you got legs you gonna walk it was like what the shit but it was like the funniest interaction because i was like this kid's going kind of slow and he's falling behind and just the fact like he's just like mommy i don't want to walk and she turns around she's like you got legs you gonna walk that's like holy shit he's gonna walk yeah parenting that kid that kid thought he was gonna take a break and she was like we're walking that's great she's gonna leave his ass behind he would just fall over like mommy she's like no baby of mine's gonna not walk

find yourself a new mom you lazy bastard that's the only thing I wrote down for the week but I wanted to bring it up because I thought it was funny well I mean we spent way too long talking about accents so I think it's a perfect

time to transition from that to something a little more helpful because no matter what accent you have when you talk people are gonna be looking at your mouth and you don't want to have a nasty ass mouth you want a mouth that's gonna people are gonna look at and be like my god that's the most sparkly, nicest looking mouth. I don't think people are going to want to say that. That mouth is so sparkly. You want to brush your teeth. You want to brush your teeth and you want to make sure that everyone who sees you when you talk, you know, there's a confidence thing there.

And a lot of people know, smarter people than us, that having a nice smile builds your confidence. And the best way to do that is just to keep your teeth healthy, right? And the best way to keep your teeth healthy is with Quip. Quip is the newest sensation in tooth brushing. Right now, the whole family can get refreshed with quip there's new kids quip that is a two minute timer just like the the normal adult one it has guiding pulses just like the original one with no childish gimmicks they can just brush like being a grown-up but it's kid size right it's exact same as the original version just size down kids. It'll teach them to do it just like you do

and give them sort of life long habits that'll help them keep their teeth nice and healthy later on. There's that accent. The sonic vibrations are gentle even on sensitive gums and with a two minute timer, like I said, every

30 seconds you're reminded to sort of switch it up and keep moving it evenly throughout your mouth. It has a two-minute timer, like I said, every 30 seconds you're reminded to sort of switch it up and keep moving it evenly throughout your mouth. It has a multi-use cover. It has a stand that right now mine's hooked to my mirror in my bathroom. So I just pull it up off the mirror and just go to town. Brush heads are automatically delivered. I just got new ones every three months for $5. A friendly reminder when it's time to refresh and stay committed to your oral health.

I love Quip. I understand why the American Dental Association does too. I use it every single day. It is great. My teeth look great. And they even give you like free toothpaste and stuff. It's fantastic. It really just changes the way you brush your teeth.

So I love Quip. Crenner loves Quip. A million happy, healthy mouths do as well quip starts at just 25 and if you go to getquip.com slash krendor right now you can get your first refill pack for free if you go right now to g-e-t-q-u-i-p.com slash krendor get that first refill pack free. $25 will start you on your journey to a happier, healthier smile. Speaking of things arriving to your door, Postmates is the best. When you need red wine at 4 in the afternoon or sushi at 9 or a breakfast burrito at 8am.

Whatever post made it to yourself. People postmates is your personal food delivery, grocery delivery, whatever kind of delivery they can deliver you stuff from like the box store. That's it's, you know, the storage, like it's just crazy. The things they can send to you are wild. The list is very big. Anything you're craving, Postmates can deliver. They're the largest on-demand network in the U.S. If you need like envelopes, they can bring them to you.

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Postmates will just bring it to you. They have an app on the iOS or Android. It's totally free. And then on it is everything you could possibly want. For a limited time. We are going to give you, the listeners of this podcast, $100 in free delivery credit for your first seven days. That is every time you make an order, every time you make a purchase, delivery is free for the first seven days up to $100. That is huge. What you want to do is use

the code crendor in the app that's me c-r-e-n-d-o-r use it there in the postmates app after you download it anything you need anytime you need it postmate it download postmates and save with code Crendor. That's me. All right, Crendor. Let's go. Accents. That is the Jesse Cox accent. How's it going out there? The chapter captains all over the place today. I don't even know where I am right now.

I'm going over here. I'm going over there. I'm going over there. I can't control this thing. There's so many chapter captain winds blowing from all the directions. East, west, east. I don't even know where I am right now. I can't see anything. I'm going to have to right this ship.

I don't even know what's going on. I'm upside down right now. I'm going to send it back to you. What? Thanks, Crandor. Now let's go over there. I think he died. Let's go over to creme

d'or at the weather desk shit dude that's not good welcome to the weather desk uh here at the weather desk we're gonna take a look at some weather uh dangerous severe outbreak multiple hazards expected uh what we didn't even type anything in. Well, that's at weather.com. Looks like large hail, damaging winds, flash flooding, also possible in Plains and Midwest. So watch out for that. That's not good. But anyway, let's type in some stuff. Let's go.

One, two, four, five, two. Moscow, Russia. Welcome. Okay. Let's go to Russian Woppy Bot. Woppy Bot activated. Everyone watching has been hacked. If you are listening or watching this, you've been hacked.

Welcome to Moscow, Russia. Woppy Bot. Moscow, Moscow, Russia. 48 degrees. Fair. Feels like 46 degrees Fahrenheit. Next, 36 hours. Mostly clear.

Low near 45. Winds east at 5 to 10 miles per hour. Monday, 71 degrees Fahrenheit. Monday night, 49 degrees. Tuesday, 76 degrees Fahrenheit. Monday night 49 degrees. Tuesday 76 degrees. Fahrenheit. Tuesday night. I don't know look for yourself.

Out, out, out, out. I wish I knew the lyrics to the Soviet National Anthem. I would have sang them in the background. I don't know what it is. I just know it. I only know it's like Hunter October. Well it is. I just know it. I only know it's like Call of Duty 4 would play it whenever we'd win.

Oh, well that too. I know there was like, it was like Soyuz something something Republic of something Slavish Yagushkab You know, Russian.

Yeah. Call of Duty 4. Yeah, I remember because every time in Call of Duty 4, you would win and then you'd just be like, yes. And then you'd get to hear that like. I just remember Sean Connery singing it. So that's really all I. Sean Connery sang it.

And that's how I remember it. Fair. It's pretty catchy. I like it. To be fair, most national anthems are much better than the American one, which is weird. You should be really proud of ours. Oh, yeah. Oh, Canada.

Yeah, it's great. That's the weather. Oh, right. Sports. Sports. Welcome to the sports desk. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. In sports news, we've got

a bunch of stuff happening, especially in the playoffs. It looks like the Warriors are about to defeat the Trailblazers. They're up 3-0 on them in the series. That's not good, unless the Warriors completely fall apart, which I can't

imagine happening. They're going to go to the finals again. And on the other side, the Milwaukee Bucks are up 3-0 on the Toronto Raptors. And that series could get closed out tonight because they are playing against each other in that game right now. That's happening. So we'll probably know. Oh, wait, no, they're up 2-0. So they're looking to go up three nothing.

So Toronto is going to be playing to not have the same fate as the Portland Trailblazers. My bad. My bad. Also. Over in hockey. It looks like the Boston Bruins, I believe, have advanced to the Stanley Cup final. Bruins returning, return to ice, trying to make most before Cup final. Yeah, so the Bruins are going to the Stanley Cup final.

I had a feeling. They were up 3-0 in the series. I didn't think that was going to end. So it's going to be Boston against, it looks like St. Louis is up 3-2 in that series right now. So St. Louis could be the team going to the finals. So it'd be Boston against St. Louis. San Jose could come back though. They have a...

There's two games left. Will they though? Probably not. No, St. Louis will probably win. And so that's a hockey. And the baseball's got like a-something games to go. So that's it.

It's a sports. All right. Crandor, what is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. Police officers have to worry about people driving under the influence or boating under the influence but now they'll have to look out for lawn mowing under the influence one florida man was charged with a dui or in this case an lui after he allegedly drove his lawn mower into a police car while drunk according to the haine city police an officer handling another

incident inside a local business in haine city in central florida heard a loud noise from outside the store when he went outside he found gary anderson 68 behind the wheel of a lawnmower near the officer's parked police car which had minor damages to the bumper haine city police said anderson admitting to hitting admitted to hitting the car and he told one officer at the scene quote, fuck it. I'm drunk. Take me to jail. Have we not read this before? I feel like this is we had to have, right? This happened like a week

and a half ago and we haven't read it since then. Time is a circle, my friend. We're all trapped in it. Somebody else probably hit a police car in a lawnmower or something. You're thinking of the golf cart. You're thinking of the it. Somebody else probably hit a police car in a lawnmower or something. No, you're thinking of the golf cart. You're thinking

of the guy who got drunk in the golf cart. Maybe. How come every time someone hits a police car, they're like, fine, take me to jail. I don't even care.

You're thinking of the fireball guy. He drank a bunch of fireballs in the golf cart. This guy, we don't know what he was drinking. The police say,

the police avidots said Anderson's behavior shifted from being angry to joking multiple times and he had bloodshot eyes. He failed to complete any of the sobriety tests and was arrested. Officers said Anderson agreed to take a breath test but failed. Anderson then wait but failed to provide an accurate sample because he tried to deceive the test? How do you try to deceive the test? Like, what? Was he like,

like lightly blowing into it or something? I don't know. Anderson then began claiming police. I left out, like, blow harder, sir. He's like, I'm blowing very hard. Anderson then began claiming police poisoned him and he was transported to a local hospital where he was able to complete the breath test his blood alcohol content came back at 0.241 three times the legal limit they also found

cocaine in his system of course they did anderson was also charged with refusal to submit a dui test with his license suspended his remain he remains in custody on a three thousand dollar bond police ran a criminal criminal background check on anderson and found his license had been suspended in 1978 and has been since then uh where he was convicted of a dui two other times as well jesus this dude can't stop all right well that's it for us send us your stories so that we can have better ones find us but don't send us sad sad stories people send us stories that are like hilarious story i found about a florida man and it's like florida man sad over loss of pet dog it got

eaten by an alligator and they're like oh the gator ate it i'm like what that's so that's so sad yeah why would you well like dumb ones like florida man yeah send us dumb story punches tree and calls it dumb and then you know yeah Yeah Florida man puts on VR helmet to play Minecraft punches tree. That would be funny. That's hilarious. Yeah. Alright well that's it for us. Thank you for watching

or listening or however you're enjoying this and Crendor hit up the socials. We got youtube.com slash Cox and Crendor podcast where all podcasts are uploaded. We have soundcloud.com slash Cox and Crendor we have youtube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast where all podcasts are uploaded. We have SoundCloud.com slash Cox and Crandor. We have YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor where all the animations are. We're also on Spotify, Cox and Crandor. We're also on iTunes.

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Just search for us. You'll find it. And go listen to old episodes. Because why not? And while you're at it, coxandcrendor.com. And make sure to pick up your tickets. Because they're almost gone. And I don't want you complaining about how you missed out.

Yeah. Okay. Well, that's it for us. Thank you, everybody, and we will see you next time. So, as always, to be continued. I didn't hear it. All I heard was you go boop. Boop.

Boop. Boop. Boop.