Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 198 - Ol' Weed Butt

Episode Date: May 27, 2019

Jesse's back from Hotlanta and Crendor went to the mall - SO YOU KNOW they have stories to tell. Crendor is also attempting to gain some weight, so thankfully Jesse's here to help him with years of knowledge and practice. Also a man put weed in his butt. All this and more on this all new exciting episode of Cox n' Crendor! Get your first pair free at http://meundies.com/crendor Robinhood is giving listeners a free stock at http://crendor.robinhood.com

Today's episode is brought to you by me, undies! I love those undies when I put them on me. We'll talk about that and also Robin Hood. Get your stocks, your ETFs, your options, your cryptos, all commission free. Make some sweet, sweet money. Now let's do this podcast, I guess. Hello everybody, it's time for Ghostocks and Cren-Dogs! Cocks and Cren-Dogs in the morning!

In the morning! Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live! In 4-hour recording studios! Recording! Wake your ass up! It's Cocks and Cren-Dogs in the morning! Cocks and Cren- Crandons in the morning. Dude. What's up?

I don't know. That's getting a stretch in. Oh, I thought we were being bros. I don't know, dude. What's going on with you? All right, dude, bro. Listen, from the bottom of my heart. Honestly, like, dude.

Yeah, dude. Honestly, like, I just had, like, this crazy thing happen, dude. It was so crazy. Like, bro, like, I was out the other night, right? And I was like. Getting some strange, bro? Yeah, bro. Yeah, totally, dude.

You pounding that street meat, bro? Straight up, dude. Yeah, totally, dude. Like, nonstop. Okay. Okay. Yeah bro You pounding that street meat bro Straight up dude Yeah totally dude Like non-stop Okay okay So and then like there's this like girl at Walgreens and shit And I was like yo what's going on And then she was just like I want to bang you

And I was like right on bro But I didn't because you know I get like you know everybody wants to bang me It's just what happens, dude. That's what happens, bro. That's what happens. So then I went to the, you know, drink section. I didn't know if I wanted Monster Energy or Red Bull.

So I spent like 30 minutes on my phone looking at which one I wanted. Tough call, bro. Tough call, bro. What do you get? You get that ginseng, bro? I don't know. Listen, this is what I did. This is the crazy story, all right?

I got both. What? Bro, you both bro yeah bro i drink both yeah dude i drink both but then like my heart beat really fast and shit and like i don't even know what's going on dude that's how you're losing all that weight bro gotta keep that heartbeat up bro yeah dude so like i'm also clinically depressed well you gotta like switch also i have immense depression bro say how's it going oh my goodness it's going great i literally a few hours ago got back from atlanta so i am oh what the hell was that? My keys fell out of my pocket. Ah. They fell out of your, just hopped out of your pocket?

Yeah, they hopped out. He's like, I'm out of here, man. Wait, you were in Atlanta. I forgot that was the thing. Yeah, I went to Atlanta, hosted an award show, and then came back. But, man, Atlanta's too hot for me. Atlanta's like muggy hot. Yeah, it's that humid heat.

And for everywhere that I went, for lunch, I met people, and it was hot and muggy. So I was prepared. I was prepared to go to Atlanta. I was there for one full day, technically maybe two days total. I packed five full outfits. And you might be saying, Jesse, but why would you do that? Well, I landed

so that's one, that's day one. Landed, went to my hotel room, like, ordered some hotel dinner, didn't do a damn thing, sat around went to bed. Woke up the next day, went down to the con, walked around the con, went to lunch, had to walk through the muggy ass heat. Got there, drank some beers, walked my muggy ass sweaty body back to my hotel room. Changed.

That's change number two. Right? Because I was like, oh, I look gross. Then went out to hang out with people, Went out to dinner, did this whole thing Changed number three, I was ready I had my whole outfit for the Awards thing And then I had an outfit for today

So like, I was prepared Because I ain't gonna be that sweaty guy who's constantly just like Oh, it's so hot Yeah I did see a bunch of guys, I was on the plane Today with a guy, and he was sitting next to me, and he brought a rag, and he wiped his head the entire time. As we were waiting to take off, as we were sitting there at the airport,

he was just wiping himself down. I was like, man, that's what I would be if I lived in the south. Just like, oh, no, it's so hot down here. Yeah, your own sweat rag. Yeah, his own sweat rag. And I wished I had one. Because I was like, the airport was like 90 degrees. In the area that we were in, there was no air conditioning.

And the only thing on TV was like a really crappy CNN documentary about like the insects of the world. And everyone was just like, oh, this sucks. It was unpleasant. I don't, man't man the south they tough down there i was like i'm out this sucks i'm gonna go back to where like the wind from the ocean keeps me cool yeah that's the thing is like you got the dry heat and the humid heat and sometimes sometimes i like a humid heat but sometimes i like a dry heat But I think I'd rather have a dry heat I'd rather have a dry heat any day Humid heat, you just

It's gross, it's like You feel it on you, you're like Yeah Oh, it was bad But I will say If I was not in my 30s And like, if I was a young 20-something MomoCon is filled with young 20-somethings.

I'm going to say just like street effing. Just, there's an area outside. So there's a North Tower and a South Tower, and in between is this sort of like concourse fun area. And out there at night, everyone was like, dudes were running around half naked, women were like, you know what it was? It was the cave rave in the Matrix movie.

Except I was like walking by. It would be like if there's a cave rave happening and I was just like, okay, well, I'm going to go to my bed now. Bye everybody at the cave rave. It was crazy. You walk by there and there's people like staring you down, rubbing each other. And you're like, what the hell is going on right now? I was, Oh, I don't know, 15 years younger. I would be there. It seemed like the place to be. I was like, Oh my God, everyone there's getting

herpes, but it seemed pretty cool. Oh yeah. No doubt. That's a herpes fest. Oh, yeah, and because it was so hot, it was maybe 11, 12 o'clock at night. It was so, like, impressively hot. Everyone's stripping down. They're all, like, they have glow sticks and shit. And the music in the background is like, boop, boop-a-doop, boop-a-doop, boop-a-doop, boop-a-doop, boop-a-doop, boop-a-doop. And I'm just like, mmm. This definitely isn't my scene. But once upon a time, I might have stopped by.

But I was like, ooh, I'm going to go to bed now. I can't do this. I feel like it hasn't been your scene for a while. Oh, yeah. There's definitely a time a younger Jesse would have been like, I'm up for anything. Like, yeah, of course I'll do that. But, yeah, now I'm still up for anything, but I'm also aware that I don't want to be the weird old guy.

What's up, fellow kids? Right? I don't want to show up to, like, the cave rave and be like, hello, fellow teens. Are we grinding on each other? Sounds good to me. I don't want to do that. I don't want to be that guy.

Who's this musical artist that we're jamming Out to today I've got horses in the back everyone Get it Is this someone's Dad No I don't think so I think it's just a random guy

Is he lost Like this guy comes over. It's like, do you need help getting your way home? Yeah. Like, no, I'm here to hang out with all the cool kids and shake my junk in the trunks. But I do need help getting home. Yeah. So that I have it still in me.

I have in me the ability to do anything. The drop of a hat, I can get into some trouble. But I'm also keenly aware that my trouble now has to have an age range of like 27 plus. If you're like in your late 20s, I'm down to get in trouble. But if you are clearly in your young 20s, I'm like, you know what? It's weird. Once upon a time, that might have been me, but no more. I'm out.

I can't do this. It's weird how your perspective of age changes as you get older. Even going way back, when I was in fourth grade, the sixth graders were like, oh, shit, dude. That's the sixth graders, man. Those people are old. And then you get to seventh grade, and you're like yeah now i'm the old kids then you get the high school and then you're like the youngest but like the seniors you're like damn they're like college kids dude but then you get the like college stuff and then you're like oh the high

school kids they're young and now i'm like gonna be 30 and i'm like wow, that 23-year-old is so immature. Yes. It's crazy to me that I will see the things that young 20-somethings do. I'm like, oh, my God. What is going through your damn – you guys are idiots. And I know that I did the exact same thing. I'm not even – I'm fully aware of that. I did some crazy things in my early 20s. fully aware of that. I did some crazy things in my early 20s,

but looking back now, I'm just like, God, I can't. I don't know that I'd want to do that. I think I could keep up. I have no doubt that I could have a good time, but I don't know that I want to do that because it looks stupid. What you're doing looks stupid.

I don't want to be a part of that. Yeah. I can't even watch my old bods. I've said that before, but just, I'm like, ah. Even just eating. Just eating. I eat a lot better now. I go to the gym. I'm just a healthier person compared to back then, because I've learned through the trials

and tribulations of the medical field helping me along. Right, right. Your time in the medical field, of course. Yeah, of course. You're a full-time physician. I've become gastro-Dr. Crandor. helping me right right sure your time in the medical field of course yeah of course uh become gastro doctor crendor uh literally whenever it's like we're at a party or something they're just like i'm getting a pain here i'm like oh well that's like your lower uh colon that's like the

descending colon uh if you're getting a pain there it might be diverticulized but really hold on time out time out time out how did you start this thing you said when i'm at a party this is how you know you're getting old when you go to parties people are like oh i got pains in my side no it's just like you know you're old as shit when those are your parties if you're like whether it's like a family gathering or like an actual like convention party like uh or even just like people in discord it'll be like people in discord like yeah i'm getting like a thing like in my lower right side i'm like well it could be your appendix it uh if it's a little higher up it could be gallstones but i wouldn't check if it uh like i know the it could be nothing

you're like the web md of advice yeah i'm like it could just be nothing honestly did you know there's an actual uh diagnosis of like abdominal pain without diagnosis what i learned that from that from Dr. John because he works in the ER. He's like, yeah, sometimes people just come in, we do all the tests and everything, and they just don't have it. So we're like, yeah, we don't know. Yeah, well, sometimes because like your muscles or whatever. You get colon spasms and stuff like that. Yeah, well, you could have abdominal pain without it being like,

well, you're dying. Yeah, it could be stress. It could literally just be stress. It's a lot of things. In the last three years, I feel like I've become the part-time gastro doctor. Now, listen. I don't have a degree. Don't take anything I say.

But I am a doctor. But I'm a doctor. I'm a quotations doctor. Doctor with quotation marks around it. I could be like a doctor in like some weird country like Bozapastan. I don't think even there. I don't think even there. I'm going to go out on a limb and say probably not even there.

But I've been feeling better. I'm doing all right. It's pretty good. That's good. I'm glad you're. It's pretty good. Uh, that's good. I'm glad you're like back at peak Crandor. Yeah. Well, now I've had back pain. Okay.

No, that's still peak Crandor. If you're not in some type of pain, you're not at peak Crandor. That's very true. Uh, but using my back roller thing is helping out. It can't be because I've been streaming classic WoW eight hours a day. Can't be that. No, of course not. You sitting down for eight hours a day definitely isn't the problem.

Yeah, no, it can't be it. But that's been helping rolling out my back. I learned that from my physical therapist. They were like, you take two tennis balls, you put them in a pillowcase, and then you just, like, press it into your back, and it helps, like, work the kinks out. Wait, does the pillowcase have a pillow? Oh, I don't know. I ended up buying one, just like press it into your back and it helps like work the kinks out Does the pillowcase have a pillow? Oh, no, I ended up buying one just like a back roller

So I didn't want to do what they told you to do. Yeah, but this one's like meant for that It's literally like the yoga people make it or whatever. It is like guy. I'm sure Oh yoga people. Yeah, it was like $13 It's just like a back roller thing. You can roll out your legs and stuff, and then you just, oh my god, that's like the best thing. You just go like, ugh, and you like press into your back. It's like getting a deep tissue massage. And then you find a spot, and you just press into it, and you're like, oh yeah, that's it.

It's good stuff. Can you please make a video of you doing that? I just need the internet to see like a, I don't know, 10 minute video of you just being like, oh yeah. That's it. Get in there. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, and then I saw a dietician

lady. Because I was like, I'm going to see a dietician lady just to see what they say. So they were like, so you want to like gain weight, right? And then I was like, yeah, I can't gain weight. I always just stay the same weight or whatever, fluctuate. And she was like, all right how many calories do you eat like figure it out and I figured out I only eat about 16 to 1700 calories a day uh and she was like well if your

metabolism in order to just maintain your weight you need about 1900 uh and on top of that since I've been going to the gym and I want to gain a pound a month I need to eat 2600 calories and I was like 2600 I can't even like hit 2000 she's like alright. We're gonna have to just pile in the calories So now she's like please tell me you are just like give me some ice cream She's like milkshakes are great. You don't want to irritate. They just like those. There's like Boost. You ever see Boost?

Those are like. Yeah, like the different bars in the grocery store that I always pass. They're like the drinks. So it's like Boost drinks by Nestle. They got like 300 calories. They got some vitamins and nutrients and shit. So you just like drink one of those. They got.

She's like, have that as like a snack. And then I have like oatmeal in the morning. But don't just have oatmeal. Put like walnuts in it. And then like maybe, uh, you know, add some cheese in there if you want. Like have like an egg with cheese on top of it. Like, and then. Bacon.

What about bacon? She said bacon was okay. It's not a lot of it. Why are you seeing this woman? I am born to help you gain weight. Prendor. I can help you gain weight. Ignore all these professionals.

Let me start you on the course of being fat. Okay, step one. When you wake up in the morning. Okay. Oats and all that crap, forget it. Two toaster strudels. Oh my god. Two toaster strudels. Oh my god. Two toaster strudels with icing. Eat those things.

Preferably cherry. I don't know. Two toaster strudels. That's what you eat in the morning. Alright. For your snack, bacon. Just like cook some strips of bacon. For lunch, you want to be healthy so you're going to eat a chopped salad that has blue cheese, chicken, walnuts, maybe some cranberries or something mashed in there.

And then obviously lettuce and then extra dressing because you want to gain that weight. Yep. Right? That's going to get the pastry out of you from the morning. Right. I get you. That's going to get the pastry out of you from the morning. Right, I get you. Then at the afternoon, your afternoon snack is a 20-ounce Mountain Dew and a pack of Ho-hos. Alright, now. Your dinner is gonna

consist of whatever I'm gonna assume General South chicken, because it seems like the least healthy version of Chinese food. Alright, alright. And white rice. No vegetables. You get a dessert. Your dessert is ice cream sundae.

That's 3,000 calories. You're welcome. Alright000 calories. You're welcome. All right. Okay. You're welcome. I just changed your life. I'll be piling on the pounds. Yeah.

You'll be like, Jesse, kill me, please. Oh, God, kill me. Sam was like, you gotta eat peanut butter and jelly, mate. Just fucking eat peanut butter and jelly. That's what I would eat. So I've been trying to throw in some peanut butter. Yeah, but you can only eat so many peanut butter. Like, peanut butter and jelly only mate. It's fucking peanut butter and jelly. That's what I would eat. So I've been trying to throw in some peanut butter. Yeah, but you could only eat so many peanut butter. Like, peanut butter and jelly only goes so far.

Yeah. Granted, I've been doing this weight thing for about four days. I've already been gaining weight. Crendor, for next week. All right. Next Saturday. Next Saturday, so you can do it right before we record. All right.

Next Saturday. I need you to do a Jesse plan Alright I need you to listen to me on this Alright Not that I I would never do this Because it's insane

But you need to get this weight on my dude Alright Two Toaster strudels Okay Snack of bacon So you wake up 8am sharp Two toaster strudels.

Ten, eat some bacon. Okay. Noon, they give noon, chopped salad, fill it with a bunch of things that aren't salad. You know what? Actually taco salad. Even better. I got taco salad. Got you.

Taco salad. Then later in the afternoon, 20 ounces of Mountain Dew and some Ho-Hos. All right. Dinner, General Styles chicken, white rice, no veggies. You're welcome. You're welcome for changing your life. I want to know how bad you feel on Sunday. I'll feel terrible.

You'll be like, I had to go to the doctor. My gallbladder exploded. I don't have one. It regrew. It regrew. It regrew and died. Wow, this is a medical miracle. I've never seen this before. What did you eat?

Like, well, I followed this diet. They'll be like, ah, that's why. We knew it. We've seen this only once before. The exact same thing. I'm telling you, I'm going to put those pounds on, my friend. I will help you.

Alright. That's going to work, I think. I mean, as long as I work out, that at least usually helps. Because then all the stuff goes to my building muscle instead of just not going. Toaster strudel is definitely the prime muscle building material.

That's no doubt. You got to get that in. Oh yeah. That dough and icing, whatever weird fake jam they put in there. Oh yeah. That's really going to help with the muscle. I used to, my big thing was I could eat for like, I would eat one big meal and then not eat.

So that's why I'd be like, wow, I ate a lot today. But then really I didn't eat a lot. So like I'd eat like maybe like a piece of toast and some coffee for breakfast. And then for lunch I'd eat like a meatball sub and like fries and like a whole bunch of shit it's like a thousand calories and i'm like wow i ate a lot but then i wouldn't eat anything till like night and i'd have like cereal and then i'd have like 1300 calories that day and i'd be like oh i guess i didn't eat i just have the opposite problem most people like i gotta like pile food and eating. Well, let me tell you.

Follow the Jesse method and you'll have other problems, my friend. Alright. It won't be those. So you did the creme diet. I'll do the Jesse experience. Yeah. Just give me one day of your life and I'll change you forever. You'll be like, my god, I can't even move.

I think I went into toxic shock. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. We were at the mall. It's, like, about to close. And this lady, who I'm pretty sure had, like, meth in her blood. She looked like one of those people we'd see in the Florida stories. Like, their mug shot. She was hunched over.

Like, the hunch in her back could not have been real. It was like an actual witch from a fairy tale and she was just walking and she was like you got food place to stay. You got food? Place to stay? Place to stay. And I was like oh no I don't got any of that

and she's like oh and then she just kept walking. And then she went up to another guy, and he was just like, ah. I don't like this whole place to stay bit. That's the creepy part. It's like normally you get any spare change or something. She was like, place to stay? And I was like, I don't got places to stay.

Sorry. Yeah, I don't want. What? I would never be like, I do. Yeah. You know what? If I was a killer, I would i would never be like i do yeah you know what if i was a killer i would i'd be like yeah i do that's true i have a shed out back ignore the plastic covering the walls that's what i'm saying the the nicest people the people are too nice and happy are always the craziest that's always like they're always like he's the perfect guy until it turns out he was like human trafficking it It's like, what the shit?

Whoa. Speaking of which, when I was at the airport, they were like, report any human trafficking. I was like, is this a huge problem in Atlanta? What the shit? Yeah. They were like, report any human trafficking. And I was like, whoa, whoa. How would I even?

What? I don't think I know enough to like spot something. I guess if it's just like, I would imagine it would be someone who looked like they were in need of help. But also, nowadays, that's a lot of asshole kids that I see with their parents. They're just like, I don't want to. Yeah, it might just be bad parents. You don't know. I mean, you're a really bad parent if you're human trafficking.

So, you know. That's some crazy shit. That one YouTuber lady had that happen it was uh yeah i saw the shane dawson thing it was like the louise louise taylor what's her name louise louise taylor her uh her husband was like a crazy russian human trafficker guy or something she's like an old school youtuber like back from like 2009 her husband was a russian or like serbia or mafia man he's like a mafia man oh my god she's posting stuff of like her story of survival it was like some crazy shit she was like uh she's like he's like the perfect guy

he played he's a doctor he played golf he did all these things turns out he did none of those uh he was like traffic he's like trying to traffic their kid to like like crazy shit i was like what the shit uh so she's like yeah i'm just like uh living off the grid now and i was like what oh yeah i guess she won custody of her son and her husband, Mihaljevic. All right. First off, first off, this guy, there's no way this guy is just like a fun golf pro who married a YouTube star. This guy, this guy is just, look at this dude. This dude, he looks like a criminal. Oh, yeah. No doubt is he looks like a criminal.

Oh, yeah, no doubt. He looks like he'd be in a GTA game. Yeah, exactly. You couldn't tell me this guy. Come on. This guy looks like he's just selling people. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Yeah. Because she was like, oh, yeah, he's a doctor. But he never like would show me anything from like where he was a doctor at. And I'm like, wouldn't it? Wouldn't that just be like a red flag like we woo we woo you know he doesn't actually know anything about the profession he is well i wish her the best i guess she's a writer now or something i don't know i guess so i don't know it's just some crazy shit i saw and i was like uh okay you know what actually some of his old photos he looks kind of like a normal person. But then you see some where he literally looks like

he is from Grand Theft Auto. Yeah. Yeah, no doubt. Uh, that was a weird thing. I don't know. What else? Besides me and the guy who just had his sweat rag, nothing really exciting happened, unfortunately.

Damn. Yeah. I didn't see any crazy kids or any wacky people. I just, you know, sat there listening to music, watching the world go by. And the world, let me tell you, pretty boring. What do you know? What do you know? What do you know? What do you know? Pretty boring. What do you know? What do you know?

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Good night. Let's go. Oh, boy. It is getting hot out, but not just hot. It's getting humid. Wowee. I'm way down out here. In fact, we're actually hovering pretty close to the ground at this point. I'm trying to swerve out a wave of towers, radio towers, windmills, whole bunch of shit down here.

That humidity is getting crazy. I don't even know if it's been like this for years. But honestly, we ought to revamp the chapter copter this thing's like seven years old it's made of junk parts and i think we could actually afford a new chapter copter so uh please uh tweet email my manager whatever you got to do uh tell him to get the funding for this please please i don't want to i don't want this thing to be in in i don't want to drive this thing anymore. Please! Back to you. Oh, I thought he died, but then he said back to you,

so I guess he's fine. I thought the guy died, but he always seemed okay, so alright! Let's go to the weather! Let's cause that weather! Weather time! Weather time! Good old-fashioned weather time, good old-fashioned weather time.

It's like the Wisconsin Weather Channel. It's weather time. I think that's more like the Nebraska Weather Channel. We're getting like deeper Midwest. It's all the same area. Oh, don't you know, here comes the weather, eh? I feel like that would be the song of like, it's weather time. It's weather time.

Time for Wisconsin weather time. It's like, oh, hello, welcome back. Well, okay, that's true. It probably is. Let's hit up the old 3352. What? Wait. I was about to say you need one more. But I put in that, and it said Dade City, one. Wait. I was about to say you need one more.

But I put in that, and it said Dade City, Florida. Maybe that's what it is, Dade City, Florida. Dade City, Florida. All right, it's humid there. Let's head over there. Dade City, 84 degrees. Feels like 88 degrees because of the humidity. Right now, it is 84 84 south southeast winds four miles

an hour 74 percent humidity that's uh sticky out there uv index 0 10 sun rise 6 33 a.m sunset 8 18 p.m i don't like i don't like when the weatherman says it's sticky out there. It's sticky out there. It's sticky out there. No, thank you. It's sticky out there. Please stop. Oh, stick to the weatherman. Weatherman was fired the next day. Oh, my God.

It's going to be 96 tomorrow. Mostly sunny. With extreme UV index. Only 55% humidity. Don't drop the humidity. And then Tuesday, 97. Pretty much the same thing. Sun's rising earlier and setting later, which is pretty nice. Get more vitamin D out there.

Everybody needs some of that. Got to get your vitamin D.. Gotta get your vitamin D. Gotta get your vitamin D. Gotta get your D. Gotta get your D. And I'm kind of sad this place is in Dude City. I thought it would be like Dude City, but it's Dade City. What, bro?

What? Dude. Dude. Dude, you're getting some tail in Dade City? Dude. Definitely, dude. All right, bro. All right. That's the weather okay uh crendor let's go to sports sports welcome to the sports desk we've got sports for you today how

about them raptors how about them raptors we got an nba final it is the toronto raptors taking on the warriors who've been there every year, pretty much. Let's do it, Raptors. Let's go, Raptors. Let's do it. I think everybody wants the Raptors. Oh, my God. The Raptors versus the Warriors.

If this took place in Vegas, you know that would be the best show ever. Oh, no doubt. It's just all the Warriors running around being like, the Raptors, they attack. And they'd be like, 10 million years ago. And they'd have guys dressed as raptors fighting guys

like warriors. Oh my God. And the game would be like two hours till the game starts. They'd just do a whole show, like a whole live show and it'd be like, bless you Vegas, bless you. Yeah, I'd love that. That's great. I'd pay for that show. I'd be so excited. I'd be like, bless you, Vegas. Bless you. Yeah, I'd love that. That's great. I'd pay for that show.

I'd be so excited. I'd be there. Game one. I'd do it. Yeah. Then in hockey, it's the Blues and the Bruins still. Who's up in that series? Let's find out.

I believe they are. Oh, they start tomorrow. Okay. They haven't started yet. Stay in the cup. Technically, they're both up. Yeah, technically they're both up. They're tied. Over in baseball, it looks like the Yankees first

place, Minnesota first place, Houston first place, Philadelphia first place, the Cubs in first place, and the Dodgers in first place. Sounds about right completely. Totally right. Yeah, it's pretty accurate. That sounds like every year.

It pretty much is at this point. And somebody wanted us to talk about hockey, and I thought I would because there is a world hockey thing. The World Hockey thing? The World Hockey Championships, and apparently Finland won, beating out Canada, Russia, and Sweden, who are like the three major hockey countries. So, grats to Finland.

The Finnish peoples have finally risen to claim the ranks of, I'm going to say, the Canada Cup, right? The Canada Cup. What would it be called? The Canada Cup. It's like be called? The Canada Cup. It's like a plastic cup filled with Timbits. But it's valuable to the world.

And a Tim Hortons coupon. Yeah, everyone on the team gets a Tim Hortons combo. A sandwich and soup combo. Comes with a side drink. Oh, yeah. Grats to them. Have fun with your Tim Hortons. Grats to them. Have fun with your Tim Hortons. And that's sports.

There's no Tim Hortons. I don't know why that was my finish line. There's no Tim Hortons in Finland, eh? You know, once you win, you automatically become the Canadian. Yeah, automatically. Automatically. All right, Crandor, what is our big news story of the day? Big news

story of the day. So this is one that was sent to us. Man allegedly hiding drugs in butt accidentally shoots himself in testicles. This is what we were missing last week we were last week we

were hard up for news and this week we nailed it coming out the gate it's your right in the face so we've got a man who shot himself in the testicles was also found to be hiding marijuana in his buttocks. Cameron. What? Classic, dude. Cameron Jeffrey Wilson. That's not a classic. That's not a classic story.

There's never been like, oh, tale as old as time. Let's see. Cameron Jeffrey Wilson, 27, was carrying a gun in his front pocket on April 5th in Washington State and the firearm accidentally discharged. The bullet pierced Wilson's testicles and then went into his thigh. Oh my God. Oh my God. Don't, you don't ever describe it as it pierced his testicles.

Yeah, that's a, oof. That's like a terrible description. It pierced his testicles. I mean, it a... That's like a terrible description. It pierced his testicles. I mean, it probably did, though. You're right. Police arrived at the hospital and searched his car where they also found a bag of meth.

Classic. Wait, whoa, whoa, time out. Pause. Yep. So he shot himself in the balls Yeah While holding a bag of meth While also having Marijuana in his butt

Yes This can't be real This is not real This can't be real He's probably really high on meth and weed When he shot himself I took too many weed. It got

stuck in my butt. The man's troubles did not end there. As Wilson... As Wilson, who was a convicted felon, was being processed into the Chelan County Jail, he was strip-stitched. He had weed in his butt the entire time? felon was being processed into the Chellin County Jail. He was strip searched. Wait, time out!

He had weed in his butt the entire time? I guess so. What? Wait, hold on. He was strip searched and another balloon of marijuana came out of his anus. So he had multiple marijuanas. No! No! No!

Ay-yi-yi. There's too much drugs coming out of this man. There's too much drugs. Too much drugs. There's too much drugs. There's too much goddamn drugs here. Okay. There's too much drugs! There's too much goddamn drugs here. Okay, sure. Wilson has pleaded not guilty to second-degree felon in possession of a firearm and unlawful possession of meth.

He also pleaded not guilty to possession of a controlled substance in a correctional facility. Wilson is being held. How could you plead not guilty? How could you plead not guilty? I have no idea. It fell out of your butt? Yeah, I don't, I don't know.

Just cop to it. Just cop to it. Weed fell out your butt. When you go to jail, people are going to be like, what are you in for? Just be like, weed fell out my butt. Where did that come from? I don't know how it got there.

It's crazy, dude. Crazy stuff. I just pictured the officers like, alright, strip down, please. And they start searching him. And then like, like a right out the old button there's like he's like they're all just staring at each other he's like how'd that get there good day um well that was a story uh that was certainly a story that was certainly a story i

also found another one kind of uh not as long okay this one that one was long that one okay sure well this one it's not a very long story but you know uh florida man arrested after crashing wedding he drank he danced he partied now he's facing criminal charges just like out of the 2005 movie wedding crashers where two men indulge on free drinks and food florida sheriff deputies say 37 year old mark saunderson pulled the same stunt they say he made himself at home at a reception at the grand plaza hotel in saint peter's beach according to deputies he even cut in with the bride and groom's first dance what the best man and one of the groomsmen they basically figured out he wasn't supposed to be there and they had him removed saunderson is charged with disorderly conduct Which includes playing hide and seek

With hotel security That's a very nice way of putting that he was running from them Yeah The bride says she's a Wedding crashers fan and isn't Letting it ruin her big day It's one of my favorite movies so I feel like I had this coming she laughed

She's a good sport I guess yeah that's the just imagine like some random dude showing up like yeah right wedding I would be thrilled I'd be so I'd be like my dude I know that you're not supposed to be here but let's have a party So that's a snow store. Throw it there, you know. All right. Well, that is it for us. But thank you for listening or watching or however you are enjoying this fine content.

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