Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 200 - So Much Stupid

Episode Date: June 16, 2019

It all started as a goof nearly 7 years ago and somehow here we are. Looking back at the past 199 episodes we pick quotes you've selected to take us on a whimsical journey through our past. Why did we say the things we said?! Can we blame it on drugs? All this, and a man with a ketchup problem on another exciting Cox n' Crendor! Get $50 off 23andMe’s Health + Ancestry Kit at http://23andme.com/cox Get a 30-day free trial to Openfit when you text COX to 303030

Today's episode is brought to you by OpenFit. We're gonna get yourself fit for this summertime sadness. No, that's not right. That's the only summer, summer, hot time, summer in the city. You're gonna get fit and you're gonna look pretty. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. We'll talk about that. And 23andMe, Father's Day is just around the corner

and it could be a great gift to get for your father to find out, I assume, if he is your father. We'll find out. Let's start this podcast. Hello, everybody. It's time for Ghost on Trend Dog. This is Trend Dog in the morning. In the morning. Broadcasting live, live, live, live, live. In 4-Hour Recording Studio. Recording. morning hello everybody welcome back to another episode of cox and crendor in the morning hey welcome back to another episode of cox and crendor in the morning. Hey, welcome back to another episode of Cox and Crandor in the morning. Wait, this is 200.

This is the big two double O. Oh, shit. The big two double O. Yeah, I know. I mean, it's cool. Yeah, it's pretty cool. We finally made it. I've lost my voice. I i'm a mess but we're here

we're here y'all we're here what happened your voice well i was screaming uh a lot of people and i lost it well that'll do it if uh if i take a wild guess yeah it wasn't anything complicated i was just you know out and it's loud at night And so I had to talk over you know crappy like And so I had to talk over that And I was just you know I lost my voice Classic dude I know that feel I'm always out and about yelling

Screaming losing my voice I've been sick But Me too we barely made it through to this 200 we somehow made it to 200 episodes we could have been dead for all we know yeah

I don't even know but all I know is I got over it was one of those things where like you feel sickness coming on and you're like oh boy and then you get over it in about a week. And really the worst part was the cough. Like out of everything. It's like when you feel achy, you're just kind of like, eh, just take an Advil.

Get rid of muscle aches. And then it gets kind of nose runny. And you're like, eh, I guess I'll blow my nose a little bit. But then the cough kicks in. It's just nonstop. Like, and you try like stream you try to record videos can't stop coughing it's it's annoying

yeah that's kind of the worst part when our job is this is when you get that sort of after funk cough when you know you're like better not secured better and you still can't do anything because you're like hey hey, it's me, Grandor. You know, the usual. Yeah.

So, I mean, that's what I did. I mean, aside from that, pretty dull week. Watched some Studio Ghibli movies. That was fun. Pretty dull week. Watched some Studio Ghibli movies. That was fun. I've been catching up on... I've been watching since episode one of The Office.

Oh, The Office. I never watched all The Office. So I would catch an episode every now and again. But I never really watched it. So I instead went and on Netflix. I've been watching from the beginning. Wowee. Yeah, I can't tell if I love it or hate it.

Well, that's kind of, I always like The Office. Well, I like the first few seasons. And then it starts like, that's like a lot of shows. It's, I mean, there's a lot of funny bits every now and again. But a lot of time I'm like, everyone at this office is annoying. Why do they continue to work here? I would not want to work here. It's terrible.

They're all like, but we're a family. And so all the wacky hijinks. I'm like, how do you get any work done? None of this. Yeah, I would be one of the villains on the office. One of the people who comes in and is just like, you're all terrible. Do your work. And they're like, we've got to get rid of this guy.

I'm like, we're running a company here what are you doing yeah i'd be an office villain um okay i think uh people are sending us quotes weren't they yes we have i have a bunch of quotes are do you want to just jump into this? I have so many quotes. I mean, we might as well. We have nothing else. We just walked around yelling and being sick all week. Yeah, I mean, that's us. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, last week we asked you to submit your 200th episode quotes. Things we've said over the last many, many years. And we're going to one try to guess

why we said them and try to guess who was the person who said them alright the first quote is from Calum Solaris and the quote is I will punch a mother of three in the face to get one of those who said it and why?

I feel like you said it during some sort of Black Friday thing maybe make a wild guess that sounds incredibly accurate I would punch your mother of three in the face for something for Black Friday that's that I can confirm that yeah those deals are steals and I will get them yeah that's definitely a you Black Friday quote. It was like, I can picture it, too. I can picture you punching that mother of three, just trying to pick up that Tickle Me Elmo,

and you're just like, sit down. Yeah. You get your Tickle Me Elmo, and you take it home, and you just put it on your coffee table. Yeah, he's like, hee hee. I don't know. I can't really do an elbow voice right now. My throat hurts so bad.

It's me, elbow. Elbow. Hee hee. Okay. Well, that was an easy one. That was pretty easy. Easy one. Bring the next one in. All right, all right.

SB Slowbro wrote this one. I can't put my boner here. I can't put my boner here either. Whoa. Here's where I finally can put and hide my boner. I say this is a Crandor line. I would never. The phrase whoa, here's where I can finally put and hide my boner.

I don't think I've ever used the word whoa, and it's like, whoa! That's a you quote, because I would never use the term boner. In fact, I don't think I've ever said boner before. I don't know. You've just used

it twice. Yeah, but that's in reference to the thing. Okay, so why would i say this what am i i don't this the phrase i can't put my boner here i can't put my boner here either whoa here's where i can finally put and hide my boner i guess i probably did say that but what in what way why i don't know i don't i think the best part about these is i have no recollection of any of these like i don't i don't know I think the best part about these is I have no recollection of any of these I don't even remember what we would talk about where this would come up

Neither of us Couldn't tell you But if somebody wants to put their where they're actually from in the chat so we don't have to look that'd be great, or the comment section whatever you're listening on I can't put my boner. I can't put my boner here.

I can't put my boner. I feel like this is like, I can't put my boner here. I can't put my boner here either. Although I have no idea what we're talking about. But obviously I was very upset about boner receptacles at the time. So, all right. The next one I feel like is a me as well. How come all these are me?

The next one's dead people don't need fridges. Get it from grandma. That's definitely a Jesse quote. I remember saying that. Yeah, that does sound like something. I feel like I remember that, but I also don't. You know what I mean? It's one of those quotes where once you say it, it sticks with you forever.

Yeah. Yeah, it's like barbecue sauce for the soul. It's in there, it's all sticky. It's all up in your soul. Yeah. That's probably going to be one we do for episode 300. Barbecue sauce for the soul. That was sent by Revan83. Or Revan83? Revan. Revan83.

Or Revan83? Revan. Revan83. Revan it up. The next one, TangledFan2400. I see your dream and raise you a dream where I was watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, except they were all just licking each other's heads. That's you. There's no way I had a dream where the Ninja were all just licking each other's heads. That's you.

There's no way I had a dream where the Ninja Turtles were licking each other's heads. That's you. What do you mean? That's definitely you. In fact, I'm pretty sure I remember this one because I described my dreams and you were like, I'm going to raise your dream and you talked about licking Ninja Turtle heads.

I don't remember that dream at all. I'm like 95% sure. I don't remember that dream at all. I'm like 95% sure. I don't. Okay, sure. I remember all my crazy dreams. I never licked a ninja turtle. Well, these are saying ninja turtles lick other ninja turtle heads. I never had ninja turtles in my dream.

I would never lick a turtle head. It just wouldn't happen. Wouldn't do it. I wouldn't lick a turtle head. Not gonna do happen wouldn't do it i wouldn't lick a turtle head not gonna do it yeah that's a you that's a definite you uh what about this quote so kamaki h sent a bunch of things in baja blast me that's you 100 that does sound like something i would say i think you would definitely say Baja Blast Me. Baja Blast Me.

That's probably me talking about Baja Blast. I was like, just Baja Blast Me. Give me the Baja Blast. Another quote sent in was rub it down with olive oil. That's definitely when we were talking about the potato. Yeah, that's definitely potato. But I don't know who said it. It may have been you saying olive oil stuff.

Then I was like, yeah, rub it down with olive oil. Yeah, you just gotta rub it down. But I don't know which one. There is also, everything I did was for science? I think that's you. Feels like something a villain would say, so yes, that's probably me. I don't do things for science.

You don't do things for anything, really. That's true. Kristen Grinwiss sent this quote. Nobody knows why those parrots get high. I don't know what that's from. The quote is nobody knows why those parrots get high. I don't remember. That has to be from a news story or something where we were just like,

yeah, maybe I asked you to explain what the article was. You're like, nobody knows why those parents get high. I don't know. Maybe I was mocking something that was said in an article, but I feel like this is news related. Yeah, I feel like it's gotta be news related. This is definitely

something you said. I know this is something you said. Glegwork wrote something you said uh g leg work wrote it's a lot nicer because there's changing seasons and that means all the homes people get killed off in winter oh yeah that was me because it's uh it's brought up in my stream all the time someone put it in the quote bot all right listen this was like eight years ago all right I said a lot of shit that I'm like why did I say that back then he's grown like a presidential candidate he's grown and changed I've grown I've changed I've had organs removed I would love to know the context of that statement because that is in

slight is crazy I don't even know why I said that like looking back on that I have no idea okay there's a there's another one I said in one of my vlogs where I was like people a drinker dumb or something like that and then I watched it again while drinking my glass of wine like you know what you were just opinionated you were young and opinionated like most people on the internet yeah i was young opinionated in my early 20s i had my whole life ahead of me and now it's all downhill yeah we've been doing this thing so long it's all downhill yep i remember that one too because my parents were like we heard the podcast and you said that thing and we helped feed the homeless people,

so why'd you say that? And I'm like, I don't know. That's stupid. I don't know. The next quote by Isaac's art page is, if there is a God and you are merciful, you will blow this gas station up and just kill us all. That's definitely you.

I can even picture that happening. I just don't know what that's in reference to. I definitely would say that. That is a thing I have said. And no, I have said, don't know why, but obviously it was a bad day at the gas station.

And I was like, blow it up. I don't even care. I'm out. I don't even care anymore. I got one for you. Okay. With my chair, I shall take down Hitler.

That has to be you. It is, in fact, a Crandor quote. Yeah, that's a Crandor quote. There's another one. Where? I don't know where. I am no man. I am Stephen Hawking. That is also a Crandor quote. Yep, you got it.

100% Crandor. There's also the age of man is over. That sounds like also a Crandor quote. That is incorrect. That's a you quote. Well, the age of man has come to an end. That's true. Now the lizard people shall rise.

Those are three more quotes I found. I think some of those are from Saints Row, though. I feel like I said that in Saints Row. This is from xlovecowxx. I loved the horse Clip Clop, and now he's in a jar of paste going drip drop. I feel like that is you. I'm going to say that's a Crandor.

I don't think I've ever used the phrase, I love a horse named Clip Clop. That's a safe wager. I've ever used the phrase, I love a horse named Clip Clop. That's a safe wager. I've never said that phrase. God damn. I don't. I think I remember that. There's a part of my brain that has Clip Clop still like hardwired in there.

Hardwired in there, yeah. You can't ever really get rid of clip-clop. Good old clip-clop, man. When it happens, T1 wrote, Back in the Depression, we would have been happy with a vegetable tray. That could have been either one of us. Honestly, that's a 50-50 toss-up. That's a 50-50.

That definitely feels like a rant where We were on something at the time It's just like back in my day Yeah that's gonna be any of us That's anybody I have no idea Quaessa Quaessa Whatever Here's a quote

We got off to Velociraptors I'm gonna say me But I don't know why I would have said that I would say you as well I don't know if I'd ever talk about Getting off to Velociraptors Yeah I'm not worried about the fact that it says we

Like I was in a big group of people And we were like yeah that raptor's hot Pants down everybody Like I don in a big group of people We were like yeah that raptor's hot Pants down everybody Like I don't know I don't know why Oh well of course We have from LazyTrain082

Because It came out of my incredibly nice Smelling vagina That one's obvious That's that's that's mike diamond that's easy that's a mike diamond do you yes mike diamond's poor mother we're sorry mike diamond mr diamond we're sorry i can't even do that quote justice my throat is so bad um bad. Um, this is from Barney ML. My name is Mike Lowry and I'm going to send you into space. Will Smith and Will Smith is like, I've been to space before and I killed aliens there, but I need my trusty donkey with me and they get to space and the radiation turns

donkey to donkey from Shrek. That is you. That is 2000% something you would say. That is the train of thought of someone only that you, it's you. It can't be. I've never gone from point A to point F like that ever. Yeah, I would, uh, yeah, I would definitely agree with that. I think that's a me quote. I can picture myself saying that. Fades21 wrote, Are there just two Asian dudes banging everyone in Japan? I feel like that's a me. For sure.

Yeah, that's definitely a you. That sounds right. Usually if it's dirty, it's me. This seems really obvious. Jeanjao wrote, You might be a modern Aristotle Shit dude I never thought of it that way We really like got into it today Now we're gonna talk about wieners

That's an obvious It's a conversation between you and I obviously Yeah no doubt No one's ever gonna question Who says shit dude That's a 100% you Yeah that's a me. That's a me.

Here's one I got for you from Lando. They say, I listened to an old episode of this, this fine program, and I feel like I've grown as a man and a human being, and you've gotten a lot more angry at life. Is that a quote that we've said or a review of this podcast?

Someone said in episode 85. Oh, episode 80? 85? In episode 85 we got more bitter about life? Oh my god. Apparently. Wow. Episode 85. That was so long ago. Wowee.

Well, I would say probably me it was a quote from me what wait what was the quote again the quote was i listened to an old episode of this this fine program and i feel like i've grown as a man and a human being and you've gotten a lot more angry at life me i'm the more angry at life person apparently at 85 i did say i would i would blow up a gas station and punch your mother three in the face so maybe you're right maybe i'm the problem yeah all right yeah when you really think about it you put the pieces together. Yeah, yeah. I did say that.

So, you're right. Yeah, yeah. Let's see. Let's see. Here's another one. The kids won't care. Give them some brandy and they'll forget Definitely We're talking about like

Actually I don't know what the hell we're talking about I thought I knew I don't have a clue I'm gonna say because it seems Harmful to people I said it Probably say so it doesn harmful to people. I said it. I would probably say so. It doesn't say.

I think because I, because like the tone of it seems very flippant with human life. So I feel like I probably said it. Yeah. There's also, you went Spanish on us again, man. I think that's probably you to me. When I said something really weird and just like probably stumbled over my words. I don't know. There's also welcome to the GrammarCast.

My name is Horatio Bottomlip, and this is my colleague, Gramcracker. I don't. I don't remember that at all. Did we have a special guest? Have we ever had a guest? That doesn't sound like anything either of us would say. It sounds like we took an episode off. Yeah, did we hire the writers from Family Guy to come and do a show?

Because that doesn't sound like us at all. It doesn't. I don't know. That guy's just listening to my brother, my brother, and me and got it confused. There's also, I taught my son how to stitch pig skins that has to be a creme d'or and after me yeah I feel like I taught my son how to stitch pig skins

is a creme d'or 100% that's got to be me trained in the art of nut munching And finger clamping That's definitely you Oh that's easy that's the woman who trained the squirrels to Get her ex Oh yeah the squirrel lady I'll never forget that that story had me laughing hard

Oh man that story was great Oh here's a good one That witch knows karate I feel like that could be either of us Oh man, that story was great. Oh, here's a good one. That witch knows karate. I feel like that could be either of us in response to another person's joke. Yes, that's definitely one of us. I mean, yeah, in the end it's definitely one of us. It's definitely one of us. I'd go that far.

I don't know. I feel like I said it. I kind of remember saying it a little bit, but that may be my brain making it up. I'm still trying to think of how the quote, nobody knows why those parrots got high. I don't know how we said that. I don't know what context that was said. Now I'm going to have to go to the internet and look up high parrots. Oh my god! Was this an article that we read at one point? Did we read an article

about high parrots? Parrots keep attacking poppy farms to get high on opium is one of the articles. Oh my god! I think I remember that! Yes these parrots just wanted to get high! I forgot all about that. Oh my god. It's all coming back to me. Oh, there's a good quote. I want to know who the idiot was that was the genius that came up with cookie butter. Well, I feel like that's me. Because that sounds like gibberish.

And when it comes to outraged gibberish, I'm the person to go to. That's not wrong. Yeah. If you've ever heard a quote and you're like, that doesn't make sense, but he definitely sounds passionate, that's me. I'm the passionate idiot. That's definitely true. Here's a good one. Every morning I get up and I say to myself Why are you so smart

That's definitely something old me said Yeah it sounds just cocky enough But also Something modern me could have said Modern me wouldn't say that Right no you've been beating down My life too much Yeah I've been

Life has taken my cockiness And my dignity Now I'm a shell of a sloth I wish I was Yeah, I've been, life has taken my cockiness and my dignity. Now I'm a shell of a sloth. I wish I was pure and smooth. I know. When did we have time to say all these weird things? Grendel, when, what is happening on this podcast?

I don't know. I think we just do the podcast, then we just black out. I wish I was pure and smooth. I don't even know what that context would be. I don't either. I wish I was pure and smooth. What does that mean? Man, I wish I was pure and smooth. What does that mean? Man, I wish I was pure and smooth.

But I'm not. I'm corrupted and bumpy. Yeah. Who wants to go to the Eiffel Tower? You'll just have a bunch of people looking back up at you. That's you, and it will always be you. And that is a really funny quote, by the way. Yeah, I remember that.

They still stand by that one. Yeah. Yeah. That's that. You could have said that 199 episodes ago and it'd still be true today. Yeah. I still get it. Why don't you want to go up to the Eiffel tower? Cause it's amazing.

Whatever. We're not going to have this argument again. We're not going to do this. We're not going to relitigate this on episode 200.'s fine all right well those are the quotes some of the ones that were sent to us thank you all for going back through or at least remembering weird stuff we said yeah but now listen to this other stuff we're say. 23andMe is the right choice for a Father's Day gift. Let me tell you, it's right around the corner, y'all. 23andMe's Health and Ancestry Kit is the perfect gift for a limited time.

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home do some namaste's y'all uh so open fit has changed the way i work out and with my new code cox cox you can join me on a fitness journey personalized just for you. Again, use code COX and start using OpenFit for your journey to a healthier life right now. During the OpenFit 30 Day Challenge, our listeners get a special extended 30-day free trial membership to OpenFit where you can lose up to 15 pounds in 30 days. When you text COXCOX to 303030, you'll get full access to OpenFit, all the workouts, and nutrition information totally free. Again, just text COX to 30 30 30 you'll get full access to open fit all the workouts and nutrition information totally free again just text COX COX to 30 30 30 30 30 30 standard message and data rates may apply all right creditor let's go to chapter seven this guy's a creditor how's that traffic out there

hey traffic out there man you talk traffic? Let me tell you about traffic There's traffic! It's the summertime, people are going all over, people are going crazy You got trucks, you got cars, you got buses, you got planes, you got water skis, you got scooters You got motorcycles, you got motor scooters, you got scooter mobiles, you got wheelies You got pop pop Americanos, you got dinosaurs, you got the pop pop americanos you got dinosaurs you got uh tricycles bicycles uh quadricycles unicycles you got everything out there so watch where you're going because all there's so much so much traffic back to you hey thanks crendor now let's go over to crendor at the Weather Desk. How's that weather? Welcome to the Weather Desk.

How's it going? Great. It's, you know, nice out. It sure is. Now, if you take a look at the weather right now, it depends because in Florida, there's a poolnado, according to weather.com. That's so nice over there, I'll tell you that.

Also, a lot of severe storms happening in the Midwest and the East Coast, which is, honestly, I like a good thunderstorm. It's pretty nice, relaxing. It was raining earlier. I was sleeping. Good stuff. Let's go ahead and head on down to 44542.

Jungu, Ulsan, South Korea. What? Jungu, Ulsan, South Korea. jungoo ulsan south korea what jungoo ulsan south korea i don't think that's how that's that's gotta be it dude okay it's 68 degrees hey it's like the same uh same as it is right now here it's pretty nice like room temperature wow we're all so much alike that we are different. Wow. That's crazy. And they got a UV index for a 10 today. It's 72. 20% chance of rain tonight. 62 with a 20% chance of rain Monday.

78. 10% chance of rain Monday night. 62. 10% chance of rain Tuesday. 83. 20% chance of rain. That's pretty good. That's actually pretty nice weather. Looking at all that.

Sunrise, 5.06 a.m. Sunset, 7.39 p.m. Something actually, well, I think over here sets a little later. Rises a little earlier. That's just what happens over here. You know what I'm saying? UV index, 10 out of 10. Watch out for those ultraviolet rays, man.

Those things are going to be blasting through your clouds Or just you know blasts are high-performance 10 out of 10 ultraviolet rays Come on down and get my tenets and ultraviolet rays these things are blowing off the index this thing's blowing the scale out You gotta check out these ultraviolet rays get them now for $5.99 99 your skin won't know what hit it It probably will, though. Yeah, I know. You'll get burned very badly. Yeah.

That's the weather. Okay, let's talk sports. Sports. Welcome to the sports desk, everybody. Already some crazy stuff happening. Go Raptors. In sports. Raptors, NBA champions, taking down the warriors who fell apart

uh go raptors first time they've ever won an nba final or been in an nba final and uh canada wins the nba final crazy stuff but canada finally wins something i think the last time they won uh like a thing was 27 years ago in terms of like the professional sports leagues did you see that video of that guy who broke his tv i did not know just some dude and i guess he lost money on the game and he was like i lost so much money he like threw his remote at the tv and broke it and then he like threw the tv and all of his friends were like, dude, stop. And he's like, ah, they took all my money. It's incredible. Don't bet on sporting things if you can't afford it, y'all.

Yeah, exactly. Don't bet on sporting things if you can't afford it. Actually, don't bet if you can't afford it. I think it's the best thing. Here in Illinois, they've legalized weed and sports betting. What? It's all downhill from there. Starting in 2020, I can smoke a marijuana while betting on the NBA finals,

and it's fine. I can smoke a marijuana while betting on the NBA finals. You don't want to do too many marijuanas, so you could find yourself in the hospital. Don't do it. You're too crazy. That would be bad, man. Yeah. Also, the Lakers

have made a trade trading Lonzo Ball, Brandon Ingram, Josh Hart, and three first-round picks for Anthony Davis of the New Orleans Pelicans, attempting to form a new super team with LeBron James and Anthony Davis. Should be interesting.

A free agency might pick up another guy, try to make the round three team. It's going to happen. You know what? Great. God bless. Good luck. Whatever.

Also, the St. Louis Blues won the Stanley Cup. Yo, yeah. Look at that. I saw JP was very happy about that. I think he just started watching hockey like the first time ever. Yeah. He's like, wow, this is why people like sports. Yeah.

He's like, hockey is really good. Who knew? Yeah. I mean, I knew I like hockey. Yeah. We were over here like, yo, my dude, you're going to want to go watch hockey. Yeah. I'd go to a hockey game.

It's like it's seriously the most fun sporting event to go watch hockey? Yeah, I'd go to a hockey game. It's seriously the most fun sporting event to go to. Football is like you sit there, and then they take 40 years for ad breaks, and then one team's at the other side of the field, and you're like, well, I can't really see what's going on from here. And then in basketball, it's kind of exciting, but it's kind of like, yeah, basketball up, final five minutes, now everybody follows each other. And then baseball, it's like you're at a picnic.

You're just kind of waiting around. Hope you don't get hit with a random ball. And hockey is just nonstop. Like, oh, he takes the puck off the road. He's playing again. Whoa, he's going over here. He got the goal. Also, let's be real.

We have to admit that hockey is very close to soccer or football, except it's on ice, which makes it more dangerous. They have sticks, which makes it even cooler. They're in pads because they beat the crap out of each other. And it's very, very, very fast, which is great. Yes. It's super fun. And there are very few sports where they're like, pull out the goalie.

And when that shit happens, you know it's serious. Yeah, it's serious time. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's great. It's so much fun. Yeah, I love hockey. Hockey's great. So St. Louis Blues winning that and now it's it's hit the point where it's just baseball and uh the nba

draft and nhl drafter next week and uh uh what else i mean the summer olympics oh yeah summer olympics are gonna be happening that's uh eventually some well i think that's next year isn't it that's uh eventually some well i think that's next year isn't it oh yeah 2020 nothing's happening all right yep and then uh uh football starts up in a couple months yet they got the hard knocks is the oakland raiders that's gonna be a good one they got john gruden antonio brown that should be oh this would be great it'll be the last time they're called the oakland raiders yeah can't wait to see it john gruden's just a funny guy, too. He's just like, tell you what, man, I love that guy over there. He makes some great play.

He's just a goofy guy. And that's sports. Alright, Crandor, what is our big news story of the day? Florida man arrested for covering sleeping girlfriend in ketchup and said, that's what you get, bitch. Wait, what? A Florida man was arrested over the weekend after he allegedly covered his sleeping girlfriend in ketchup because he thought she was having an affair. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I don't know that the punishment equals the crime here yeah but i can't but also at the same time maybe it does was she having an affair with a ketchup bottle i honestly don't know was it was it the fry guy at a mcdonald? It's quite possible. I'm trying to think of ways that this could be a really good gotcha. Peter Wagman, 37, is charged with domestic battery for pouring a large quantity of tomato sauce on his 41-year-old girlfriend after the couple had been in an argument over infidelity. Wagman and the victim, who has not been named, had been in a relationship for roughly 11 years prior to the incident. 4.45 a.m., the victim woke up to ketchup being poured on her

by the defendant as the defendant was yelling, that's what you get, bitch. When the authorities arrived on the scene, the victim was covered in ketchup. Wagman, how much ketchup did he have? Yeah, is this like a Costco quantity of ketchup? Yeah, a lot of ketchup. Also, I have to imagine if it was a small

you know, like a Heinz bottle, he must have been there for like 20 minutes trying to get the ketchup out of it and he's like, yeah, and he's like hitting the back of it. Alright, come on. What's the, I gotta hit the, what do I have to hit the 23 or whatever? What do I gotta, yeah. Investigators do not believe that mental health drugs or alcohol played a part in this case.

Yeah, no, this is just weird. It doesn't, you don't have to be, you don't have to, he was just enraged and impassioned to dump ketchup on her. Apparently, Wagman and his girlfriend both previously been arrested for acting violently against each other. In April, Wagman's girlfriend was arrested again after she allegedly hit him during an argument at their house. Oh, see, that's terrible.

That's a problem. That's the problem. Why can't she use mustard? Ketchup, not an issue. Oh, my God. Ketchup versus mustard in the house. Yeah. Solve your argumentsuments in fun creative ways

Yeah like come on Yeah don't use your fists When you can use ketchup Um I mean really that's just the story Yeah there's a lot missing like why did he choose ketchup I feel like cause she slept with a dude Who like I don't know

Worked at a McDonald's or was a ketchup manufacturer. Or, like, I don't know. I don't know. It's got to be tied into it in some way. Or. There's no way. Or he was like, I got to pour something on her. Sure that I know.

It's just a weird reaction. It's a weird thing to do then there's one more story man 63 dance naked in McDonald's then tried to have sex with railing hold on I think two stories connected? Is this the guy that she cheated on him with? It might be. Let's see here. John Morgan reportedly burst into the restaurant in Naples, Florida on Sunday before stunning diners with an extreme display.

Eyewitnesses say he appeared to be high on drugs and told they're shocked at seeing him attempting intercourse with a metal partition. I don't even know how that works. They described his behavior as strange. Yeah, no, yes, that sounds right. The suspect is said to have trespassed the same restaurant at least one other occasion. The suspect is said to have trespassed the same restaurant at least one other occasion. He remains in Coiler County Jail, appear in court July 3rd. He's been arrested 16 times since the start of 2018.

While in prison, his prison psychologist, a young woman, and he fell in love over ketchup. That's it. That's the connection. Yeah, it's all connected now. It makes perfect sense. Well, at least we figured it out. Yeah, we figured out these stories. We are the jelly and the peanut butter that binds the bread of the news together. It's true.

I like it. Yep. I think you're probably the peanut butter. I'm probably the jelly. Yeah. Yeah, I think I'd be peanut butter. Yeah, but are you crunchy peanut butter? I don't mind crunchy, but I think I'm smooth.

I think I'm pure and smooth. Now, are you? Is that where that quote came from? I don't know. Is that a pure and smooth quote? Oh, my God. If that really was, that would be kind of an ironic round of circle back, you know, callback. Yep. That's the word.

All right. Well, that's it for us, everybody. Thank you so much for listening or watching or whatever you're doing. But before we go, Crendor, hit them with the socials. We got socials. Uh, we got socials. We got twitter.com slash Jessica Cox or Jessica Cox, twitter.com slash Crandor. Yeah, youtube.com slash Jessica Cox, youtube.com slash Crandor. Uh, and then we got so many other things. We have Twitter.

Uh, wait, I already did Twitter. We got soundcloud.com slash Cox and Crandor. We got youtube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast. We got youtube.com slash Cox and Crandor. We got YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor podcast. We got YouTube.com slash Cox and Crandor for animations. We got... We're on iTunes. We're on all the stuff. Although iTunes is like breaking

apart now apparently. I don't know. I don't know how it works. Either way, just search Cox and Crandor and you'll probably find us or just our names. Alright. Well, that's it. We will see you next time. And as always, to be continued.