Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 202 - The Dream

Episode Date: June 25, 2019

TWO EPISODES IN A WEEK?! What madness is this?! Well - it's the kind of madness that we're legally responsible for! Gotta make the ad men happy! ANYWAY - in this episode Jesse regales Crendor with the mysterious dream he's had 3 times this week. Also while at Disney, Jesse meets Teen Girl Squad. Meanwhile Crendor finds a story about Spider-Man's part time job. All this and more on another exciting episode of Cox n' Crendor! Robinhood is giving listeners of Cox n Crendor a FREE stock like Apple, Ford, or Sprint to help you build your portfolio. Sign up at http://crendor.robinhood.com Right now, Cox n Crendor listeners get 25% off a Calm Premium subscription at http://calm.com/COX

Today's episode is brought to you by Calm. Calm is going to help you get to sleep. It's going to help you relax and meditate and make you so happy. So Calm, we'll talk about that today. Also, Robinhood, we are going to help you on your path to becoming an investment guru. We'll find out all about that as well. But let's jump into this podcast. Before our recording studio ends, recording! Wake your ass up! It's the next Crendor in the morning! Crendor in the morning! Hello everybody and welcome to the exciting episode of Cacks and Crendor in the morning!

Hey, how's it going? Oh god! What? What? What happened? Did you get captured? No, there's rain coming in the window. Oh, is it raining in Chi-town? Yeah, it's raining here.

I thought it was raining earlier today, but it wasn't rain. It was my straw. Oh. I got a drink, and there was like a rip in my straw, like a tear or something in my straw. So I was sucking up sweet, sweet cola. It was squirting out the side of the straw on me i was like is it drizzling and i only realized then that it was actually the straw that was shooting out like splashes of cola on me and i was like ah cool that's uh i don't think i've ever had that I've never had it before today either So you know

Something new happens all the time You just gotta be on the lookout for it That's just sticky You're not even like refreshing rain You're just like covered in coal with drips Like it wasn't even It wasn't a lot It was like a mist

Cause it was like a little tiny crack in the straw And it like shot out at me in the mist form. And so I was like, oh, is it raining? It's on my hand. And I looked at it and I looked at my straw and was like, son of a – oh, well. The story of my life. This week, let me tell you, so much stuff happened. Wow.

I wrote down so many stories. I wrote down a dream. I wrote down a story about when I was in line and some crazy stuff that happened. Oh, yeah. I wrote down so many stories. I wrote down a dream. I wrote down a story about when I was in line and some crazy stuff that happened. Oh, yeah. I wrote down a lot. I'm very pleased. First off, before we jump into this thing, if you want to see us live in Chicago, there are literally like 15 seats left. So if you want to jump on that CoxAndCrendor.com, we've linked it a bunch of times.

We've talked about it in previous episodes. There's literally 15 seats left. 15 seats. Buy those things so everyone there thinks we're awesome and we sold it out. And they'll be like, oh, these guys are amazing. We need to have them come back more. That would be great, and I would love it a lot. That would be great, yes.

You can be in the rain. Yeah, you can come in the rain and leave in the rain because it's only. That would be great. Yes. You can be in the rain. Yeah. You can come in the rain and leave in the rain because it's only a two hour show so chances are it's probably going to be you know, something of the best. But who knows? Afterwards, it is a bar. I may never leave. They may have to wheel me out of there.

I don't have a clue. Anyway. So, where do I even start? Do you want the dream first Or do you want my weird line experience with Teen Girl Squad Oh Let's start with the dream Okay I gotta go to my notes for this

So This week I had a dream Three times I had this dream three times this week I don't know what it means, but it weirds me out. I've had it so much that I can – I wrote it down in great detail. Most of the time my dreams are gibberish speak. I'm like, I think something's happened, but that doesn't make sense.

This time I'm looking at my phone. I have paragraphs of information. Oh, my God. That was a crazy dream. Okay. I think this is a vision. Anyway, I god. That was a crazy dream. Okay. I think this is a vision. Anyway. I wrote,

Reoccurring dream. Swirling green seas. Water washes around me. There appear to be what looks like mermaid tails thrashing about on the edges of my vision. In the middle, me, bobbing up and down on the edges of my vision. In the middle, me, bobbing up and down on the surface, holding onto something that eventually reveals itself

to be a giant mirror. I'm holding on for dear life. I can't figure out why this is happening. I'm panicking. As I stare into the mirror, the swirling dies down and a voice offers me the chance to have my dreams.

Two options. I think red or blue, but I'm not quite sure. They're presented to me as two options. I always say, this is my favorite part, I always say I want to fall in love with a redhead who will always, always love me forever. Then, it flashes to what appears to be a redhead who will always, always love me forever. Then, it flashes to what appears to be a redheaded ghost, but in that sort of

Japanese horror art style. And she's attacking me, and I always say, come on, that's not what I meant. Then, I'm transported creepily to Japan. I'm walking around the streets, and it's me, watching my friends through windows

eat weird, silly foods, and I wish I could join them, but I can't because this ghost, evil demon thing is holding my arm and holding me back, and it's very upsetting, and that's when I wake up. Three times this week I had that dream three times three times okay um well clearly there is uh there's something in there relating to trying to find love clearly yeah oh i mean

i'm literally asking for it but your love stabs you attacks you destroys you that's true that could that could either be a chilling vision of things to come and or ever relationships i had in the past any of those are possible oh my god when it's saying choose red or blue you keep choosing red and it keeps attacking you but it's telling you to choose blue. So what does the blue mean? You don't know yet. Yeah, what is blue? Do I need to, like, what is that thing where people go into their dreams and they're like, I now control my dreams. Do I need to do that and be like, I choose blue?

Yeah, it's, I think that's what you gotta do. You gotta choose blue. I don't know what would happen if you chose blue in the dream. Andrew, I think you're totally right. Because in my mind, because the way I wrote this down, when you look at it I'm presented with two options. I think they're red or blue.

I'm not sure. I just know it's two options. And I always say I want to fall in love with a redhead who will always love me forever. That's because I chose the red choice, Crandor! I never put that together. You're totally right. I chose the red choice, Crendor. Yeah. I never put that together. You're totally right. I chose the red choice every time, and it held me back.

So really, I should be choosing blue, but what does blue mean? I don't... I don't know. That's why we gotta... You gotta do it in the dream and find out, or you have to do it in real life and find out. But if I do it in real life, then the internet's gonna be like, blue pill, and they'll yell at me, and I don't want that. Yeah, you gotta do it in a dream. That's the last thing I need.

Alright, we have to somehow get you back into dreamland, and we need to give you, like, lucid dreams. That's what I'm saying! I need lucid- I need to go in there and be like, mermaids, reveal your sexy bosoms to me! And they'll be like, oh, Jesse! Like, what does this mirror mean? And they'll tell me, and then I'll solve it, and I'll be like oh jesse like what does this meal mean and they'll

tell me and then i'll solve it and i'll be like i choose blue and the mirror will like shatter and i'll fall into oblivion and i'll meet like the matrix guy he's like visa v you figured it out and that'll be perfect uh right i think that's how that works. Yeah. Uh, yeah, man, I kind of want to know what happens to now at this point, right? I don't, I've had it three times and I feel like it's a warning, but also I don't, maybe it's, I'm dealing with something, but I don't know what it also could be that I keep searching for what I can, but here's the problem. I desperately, I'm like, man, I'd love to date a redheaded girl. I haven't dated a red-headed girl in a long, like, I'm going to say literally

five years. It's a warning. Maybe it's trying to say that I keep looking for something, and I find like, I don't know. I don't know what it means, Crandor. I don't know what it means. I feel like there's a message there, though, right? Like, I gotta, I keep saying, like, this is what I want, but then

when I get what I want, it's not what I want because it's like an evil Japanese horror monster. But then I see all my friends having fun. I'm like, I'm going to go have fun, but I can't because I'm attached to a horror monster. Dude, what if? All right. What if the red is the crazy woman that attacks you, but the blue is another crazy woman that attacks you? Here's the thing.

I wouldn't know the moral then. I wouldn't know what I was supposed to take away from this. I'd be like, Dream, help me out here. What do you mean? Well, wait, what was the start again? You're like in the ocean? Yeah, all right, yeah, i'll read it to you again swirling seas uh green foam what appears to be mermaid tails thrashing about on the periphery on the edges in the middle i am clutching onto something for

dear life bobbing up and down the surface it's revealed that i'm holding on to a giant mirror as i look into the mirror voice offers me the chance to have my dreams two options uh i think one is red one is blue but i can't be sure i just know it's two options and i always say i want to fall in love with the redhead will always love me forever very specific weird thing to say and then flashes of what appeared to be a red-headed ghost, but in that Japanese art style that's like the horror art style appears. And I'm always like, oh, come on! Not what I meant!

And then I'm transported creepily to Japan, and the rest of it plays out like usual. Huh. That's... So there's like a monkey paw situation going on here, too. Where I said what I wanted and I got something But it was like the horrible version of it Well what do you think the mermaid tales are

Couldn't tell you I don't know I don't know I have not a clue Maybe Maybe it's like tied into your fear of the ocean What if I looked it up Dreaming of mermaids Maybe it's tied into your fear of the ocean. What if I looked it up?

Dreaming of mermaids. Mermaid dream symbol. Dreams of mermaids bring news of tough times. Oh, tough times are coming. What? Oh, shit. Oh, no. Dreaming of water. What about green water?

Green water. Oh, man. This is... Whatever condition it portrays in the dream, be it good or bad, water is used as tidings in prosperity. And so I had churning water, which

means that maybe my tidings in prosperity will be bad news. And the mermaids are there to let me know, like, it's about to go down cocks whoa and then uh mirrors right dreaming of mirrors uh focus on how we view ourselves in waking life it indicates if you're committed to understanding who you are okay so basically i'm looking into this mirror and I'm looking for

it's a reflection of myself. And then I hear a voice and the voice is like, yo, pick one of two options. And the option I choose is an option I think I want the most. But it turns out to be this evil, hideous monster.

And then I see all my friends having fun And I'm not having fun Whoa Whoa Whoa man Damn I didn't think this dream was going to get this crazy Yeah

This is a deep dream I'm sure someone out there has a better explanation of this dream But like it's a deep one Yeah that is a deep dream. I'm sure someone out there has a better explanation of this dream, but it's a deep one. Yeah, that is a deep dream. I had a dream. I don't know if I brought this up, but I ordered a Panera egg sandwich and forgot to pick it up, and I had to go back. Of course that was your dream. Of course that was your dream.

In the dream, I was like, oh my God, I think they're closed. I went back and they're like, we threw that shit out, idiot. And I was like, ah, jeez. It wasn't, you know, the exact wording, but that's kind of like, you know, what happened. Of course. Very, very. Meanwhile, I'm in the ocean surrounded by mermaids flapping their tails and I'm being haunted by a ghost. And you're like, like well I didn't

get my panini so that's pretty awful yeah so I don't know if that means something or if it was just me being like you know just some random stuff happening in a dream I'll be real like uh I've had dreams every once in a while that's like did I leave the stove on? Or did I forget to do a thing? It's like very real, but I'll go in and I think those are those just anxiety-driven dreams where you're like, oh, no, I screwed up big time. Yeah, I have those every once in a while, but this one I've had three times this week, and I don't know what it means.

Well, is it like the same every time too like are there any different variations yes yes it's the same every time that's weird I don't think I've ever had that I've never had the same exact dream multiple times one time long ago I had the same dream and it involved I might have said this

on this podcast before it involved this girl that I, in college, very much, like, just to set up the plot of this, I think it's an easily explainable dream, but I had it multiple times, so let's just set this up. There's this girl that I knew in college, who she and I were very good friends, and when we first met, I was dating someone and she was dating someone. And when we first met, I was dating someone and she was dating someone And then over the course of us knowing each other We both broke up with the people we were dating And then like We became very flirtatious But nothing ever happened

And later on in life I definitely found out that she was like I was just waiting for you to make a move I think we've talked about this on this podcast before I wouldn't know I'd be like I don't know if I should I don't want to like creep her out or anything. So I had no clue, but later on in life, I, she was like, yeah, you should have done something. I was like, what? But anyway, um, it was like very flirtatious and

we would like hang out all the time. And we were essentially just like, you know, that will, they won't, they think on TV shows, it's very obvious we should, but it never happened. And I kept having dreams about being at a mall. And I was going there to meet her. And every time I went to see her, something would get in the way. Right? Like it would be, it was something different every time. But it's always weird and outlandish.

Like one time it was an alien with the body of Britney Spears and the head of an alien. One time, it was this dude who looked like a banana. Like all these weird things that got in the way. And she was always on this other side of the mall in the food court, and I could never get to her. And it was that kind of thing where I was just like, I think it was my mind being like, you're putting up weird roadblocks. Just go ask this girl out, right? I think that's what it was supposed to be doing.

I don't know, but I had a few of those dreams. And so this dream, I feel like it has to be me telling me something. I just don't know what I don't know. And it could very well be like, bro, just like go blue,

but I don't know what that means. Crandor. I don't know what that means. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. It don't know. Yeah, it's... I feel like we're not going to find out until you get back in that dream. I don't know how to, like, start it, though.

I don't know how to be like, all right, this is the dream I want to have. In fact, the last couple nights I've had no dreams. Well, technically you do dream when you're in REM sleep. I guess you're right. I just don't remember it. Yeah. It wasn't vivid as these dreams. I guess you're right. I just don't remember it. Yeah. It wasn't vivid as these dreams. Now I need to know.

I need to know. Maybe it'll happen now. One thing you can do to remember your dreams is you just wake up and then fall back asleep. So set like an alarm. Like how do I control it? I need to see. This is one of those things that maybe also I don't need to control it. I don't know.

Maybe I need to just let it play out instead of getting freaked out by everyone having fun. Maybe, maybe the redheaded Japanese ghost takes me to her grave, and I cure her of ghostness, and she's beautiful. Damn. That's quite possible Maybe because I'm so caught up in the FOMO I'm so caught up in the FOMO I'm missing out on my friends

They don't realize the person that I have with me Is the person I wanted the entire time And just because I thought she was awful Doesn't mean that's actually true Here's what you do alright Whenever you normally wake up Set an alarm to wake up an hour before that And then you'll turn off that alarm,

and then you just go right back to sleep, and you'll remember your dream. We're doing this. This is happening. I'm going to figure this dream out. I'm going to figure this dream out, Crandor. Just do it. It's going to work.

Every time I've ever wanted to remember dreams, this could be a chilling vision of things to come. Yes. This could be a vision. I could be Cox or Thomas in this whole thing. Maybe, maybe out there somewhere, This could be a vision I could be Cox or Thomas in this whole thing Maybe Maybe Out there somewhere Is a red headed ghost for me

A very pale red headed girl out there Who's just like You know what Jesse I'm going to take you to Japan And there we're going to find my grave And you are going to set me free This could be it This could be my one true path to love

You never know This could be it What was your other story? So then, another story I had So my Mom and I, she really really wanted to go To the Star Wars Galaxy's Edge And so because they had extra tickets

I took her on Thursday to go. And it was really fun. I got to go to the cantina. I met a bunch of Cox and Crandor fans there. That was awesome. It was so weird, and I drank with them. But in line to get into Star Wars, there were a group of young girls behind us. I'm going to say literally teen girl squad, young girls. Like they were

just, there were five of them and each one of them. No, no, this wasn't. Oh my God. I'm so dumb. So we were in line at Indiana Jones is when this happened. And the girls behind us were, like, short red-headed girl with curls, tall girl who, like, was a little lanky, the girl who was in, like, almost full cosplay, the one friend who was a little too dolled up to be at Disney, and then the one friend who was, like, the normal one. And the things they were saying, here's all I wrote down. Because this is the first thing I heard that made me want to listen to them.

We're in line. And one of the girls goes, I don't care. I just want a boyfriend. And then the minute I heard that, I was like, I'm in. All right, I'm going to listen to them the entire time. So here's some of the conversations they had. And it was amazing. One conversation was, oh, my God, you've got such cosplay hair.

And her friend responded, yeah, but yours is golden hour 24-7. And I was like, I love these girls so much. They are the gift that keeps on giving. The next conversation I was listening to featured this gem. Let's just sit here and ignore rude people. And then one friend goes, Disneyland is rude town USA. Disneyland is rude town USA. That's my favorite line I've ever heard.

Disneyland is rude town. I've been to Disneyland and nobody's ever really rude there. This girl was just like Let's just sit here and ignore rude people The reason why is because the ride broke down And people were trying to leave the line So they're like pushing past these girls And these girls are just like

Let's just sit here and ignore rude people And this is what it was like Disneyland is rude town USA Part of the same conversation much later on was people are so entitled. And then another girl goes, when I worked in a theater, popcorn people were like

the rudest. And another girl goes, yeah, always begging for butter. Popcorn people. Popcorn people beg for butter, dude. Yeah. And then my favorite line of the day was popcorn people popcorn people beg for butter dude yeah uh and then my favorite line of the day was instagram is not the place to tell me about your dog

you don't need context for any of these these are all perfect lines they're incredible she was just like complaining about how one of her friends keeps responding to everything they do. And it's kind of annoying to them. They don't like that she's always like, you look so beautiful. And so they were complaining about this girl.

And then they went to her Instagram page, which I think is crazy. They're complaining about her. Then they all went to her Instagram page to look at her Instagram, to look at her. And then they were just like, oh, my God. Every other photo is of her dog. Instagram is not the place to tell me about your dog. page to look at her instagram to look at her and then they were just like oh my god every other photo is of her dog instagram is not the place to tell me about your dog it was perfect it was so good i loved every minute of it yeah uh those are definitely the types of people where...

Actually, there's like... I feel like it's like the little cliques of high school girls, where it's like... There's either a clique of high school girls, where they're just like that. It's like... And then there's the high school guys, where they're just like,

yo, fuck, bro, like, shit, dude. Like, uh... If Disney World was any indication of groups of young men and women, every group of girls is like that It doesn't matter what their clique is If a group of four or five girls get together That's roughly the translation of every conversation Meanwhile, if young men get together Their conversation is literally just like

When we were in line No! We went to go to the star wars area and before there was a bathroom thing that you could go to uh it sounded really weird when i said that but you know it was like a it was like a bathroom thing you go to and so i went to the i went to the bathroom and i i uh as i'm washing hands, these five guys walk in all of them. I'm going to say 15, 16, maybe pushing 17 and they walk in and one guy like farts really loud and his friends like giggle and then they like pee and they're like, Oh dude, check

it out. I'm destroying this cake in the urinal. And then they like go and they were like, oh, dude, check it out. I'm destroying this cake in the urinal. And then they, like, go. Like, one out of the five washes their hands. They leave. And when they're outside, like, they start talking about this girl they know, and they're like, yeah, I'll give it to her. And one guy burps, and they're like, ah. That is – I hate to break it to you, ladies.

That is roughly what all of the – if you're in high school right now and you're like, what do guys talk about? That's it. That's like, that's the conversation. Farts and burps and like scratching and trying to be gross with each other. And then being like, girls, I like girls. That's it. I'll swap over like, yo bro, Fortnite, dude.

Like, I got like a triple kill, dude. And like, yo, bro, Fortnite, dude. Like, I got like a triple kill, dude. And like, man, like, dude, nice. You watch ninjas? Like, yeah, dude. I watch like some ninjas, like Twitch TV, dude. Yeah, fuck yeah, dude. That's it. Men are so completely uncomplicated.

Meanwhile, I wrote down 50 awesome lines these girls were talking about. I can't write anything the guys were talking about because they didn't talk. They were just like, burp. Yeah, it was a good one. Real ding-a-linger there, Chuck. What? Real ding-a-linger. Real ding-a-linger, Chuck.

That's a real ding-a-linger right there. Yeah. It's, even thinking back to when I was in high school, like, that's how all the guys were there. But like, I would just, I mainly talk to like the, the nerdy people, but acquaintances. Yeah. Even then the nerdy people, the conversations you would have with nerves would be like, yeah, it looks like she's zero one, zero one, one, zero. 010110 That's gonna be one of those quotes We bring up on episode 300

Who the hell said that Every group of guys Be it lowliest of geek Or highest of popular kid Every guy in high school Their conversations are not deep. I wish I had the social skills to talk with her.

They're never deep. I don't know what people think guys in high school talk about, but they are awful. Having been one, we are uneducated rubes. We're idiots. I would just figure out how to farm gold and wow

Like one or two guys Alone Probably have a great conversation The minute you get four to five men Young men 17 year old kids in a room together Idiots Giggling goofy idiots

Doesn't matter who they are Especially When I was in high school i noticed it after high school everybody they all hang out like big packs i think it's because it's like a like self-esteem self-esteem type of thing where you don't want to be alone uh well you also don't have to be a safety thing too yeah you don't like the star of it either right if you're with one other person you're part of you and that person have to talk yeah it's like the mob mentality almost or it's like I'm part of the thing you know I'm just I don't have to say anything just

We all going over to pizza pizza Paul's like yeah, let's go pizza Paul's everyone's like yeah pizza ball pizza ball pizza ball All the other like heads pop up like yeah pizza ball, then they all go there and hang out like this is sick, bro Pizza Paul's got great pizza here like do what if we go like milkshake milkshake town like milkshake town milkshake table shake basically bitches but they all go there it's like it's like schools of fish you know what I like those mats oh my god you know those mats they'll hang out those big like they all fly around and you walk by and they like buzz around your head and you're like dad and you just like try try to get away from so what you're saying is high school kids are nuts

Yeah, all right. Well there you go Well it makes sense in my head. Yeah, no, I mean it makes perfect makes perfect sense to me But then I feel like then you get older and then that's when it's like uh people hang out by themselves more because everyone's like hey you want to go to pizza paul's they're like nah i gotta work like okay hey you want to go and they're just like no sorry i have like a kid now they're like all right i guess i'll go and then they go alone they eat their one slice of pizza being like man i remember when everybody was here and then that one kid that didn't talk really there was like hey it's you and he's like yo finally somebody i remember and he's just like yeah well it's great

meeting up with you he's like dude do you want to hang out or something he's like nah i gotta go i got a meeting in the morning so i gotta go and then that guy's like well and then he goes home and then he's like man high school was great and then he cries that seems like a true story i'm not gonna say that you were the guy who showed up and was like hey oh i recognize you okay i gotta go have a meeting in the morning i'm not saying that was you oh this is a story that happened to you but i never hung out in a big pack of people i didn't do that i was too socially awkward i'll just go home say you're the socially awkward guy from the story yeah but that's like no there's a difference there's a socially awkward guy that doesn't hang out anybody and there's a socially awkward guy that's part of the group i was not part of a group i just went home and played i was part of too many groups I I had an unfortunate

like I was I was friends with like the most popular kid in our school so I was always invited to parties and so I had to show up to parties all right but then I was also friends with like the nerdiest of the nerds and I just go over to their house most of the time and play games and so like I'd have to walk a fine line it was interesting i don't know that i liked it all that much high school especially senior year of high school was a bit much i never had any intention doing that i remember some people be like yo want to come back to our house we're playing halo we're like hey we're gonna go do this and i'd be like nah i'm good i remember one kid was like why you never want to hang out and i was like I don't know

I'm just not into it and then I went home I like how some kid called you out too like what is your problem you're like I don't know yeah I was like I don't know then I went play wow oh that's your problem you should have just said I'm addicted to a video game yeah but then I remember there's other kids they're like yo what server are you on like, uh... And I didn't want to play with them because I already had my guild and everything. I was like, oh, no, I can make an alt on your server. And they're like, all right, here's our server. But I never made an alt.

You're an enigma, my friend. You're a riddle and an enigma. I am. Actually, you know what? That might have been a guild. The riddle enigma. The riddle enigma? The Riddle Enigma? The Riddle Enigma.

So that was my high school experience. Wow. I don't know how we got here. I have no idea. I guess because those girls in line. But that's where we ended up at. There's always, oh my God, there's always those people. It's like either young college kids or like seniors in high school where they get their first car or something.

They all have those like big ass keychains you know I mean where they have like a it's like a lanyard but with their keys on it and always like hey I did too for a while I had that and then I was like this is too many damn keys yeah they always have that and then they got like the socks and sandals that's how you know they're like yo bro they got socks and sandals with the big lanyard oh Oh, my God. Can I tell you? Hacky sacks. Do you remember hacky sacks?

Oh, my God. I remember hacky sacks. There used to be kids playing it like in the hallway. I've always wanted to sell Cox and Crandor hacky sacks with our faces on them. Do kids still want hacky sacks? I don't know. There's got to be some hipster kids that do. Yeah.

They'll buy those. I'm like. Yeah, they'll buy those. I'm like five bucks. They'll buy it. It's just like beans inside a sewn together face of us. That'd be great. Yeah. Always thinking about the future. Always thinking about the future, dude.

And that I want to sell products from 1999. What if we just sell shit from the past? That's what I've been thinking. What if we just sell shit from the past? That's what I've been thinking. What if we just did that? I mean, it's not a bad idea, honestly. So yeah, I guess that's what we did this week. Speaking of what we did this week and my weird dreams, let's talk about Calm. Calm is going to help you get the sleep you so desperately need.

Trust me when I say your body is probably not getting enough sleep. Every single one of us can always use more. I think if you're struggling with sleep these days, you're not alone. One in three U.S. adults doesn't get enough sleep. And if you're not sleeping enough, it three U.S. adults doesn't get enough sleep. And if you're not sleeping enough, it can affect your cognitive functions all day. You're learning, you're problem solving, you're decision making. Clearly this podcast, all of those things done wrong. Bad problem solving, terrible decision making. That's what happens when we don't sleep. Did you know that a good night's

sleep is like a magic remedy for your brain and body? When you go to the potion seller, the potion seller is going to be like, you can't handle my potions. You're like, oh, I can't. It's called sleep, bitch. When we sleep well, we're more focused and relaxed. And best of all, sleep makes us happier. That's why we're talking about Calm. It is the number one app for relaxation, meditation, and more importantly, sleep. Sleep deficiency is seriously dangerous, not just for your body, but for your brain as well. You can get into more accidents. You're more likely to gain weight.

It can lead to more depression, right? Like getting good night's sleep helps with all of those things. sleep helps with all of those things. With calm, you're going to discover a library of awesome sounds and stories and mood scapes, right? In order to help you go to sleep. Also help you wake up. Also help you just calm down during the day. There's amazing things on there. Like, uh, Jerome Flynn, if you want to hear Braun of the Blackwater read you a story, that can happen. Stephen Fry's on there. It is amazing. I use Calm every single day.

Every once in a while I use it to go to sleep, but most of the time I use it when I wake up and I'm like, I want to go on a calming relaxation meditation to start my day. And I love it! Today, can I tell you something? Today, while listening to my Calm tape, I had a revelation. I think the stars gave me something today, Crandor. Oh, dang. While sitting there, listening to the mood in the background, the mood music, it hit me.

Why is Luke Skywalker not called Luke Lars? If Leia took the last name of Organa, why is Skywalker still Luke's last name? Oh my god. I never thought of that. Skywalker? Anakin Skywalker? Wouldn't Darth Vader then be looking for,

like if he knows there, I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I feel like, I feel like there's a lot, like the universe gifted me that knowledge. Now it's in my head and I can't get it out but anyway right now cox and crendor listeners can get 25 off a calm premium subscription at calm.com slash cox that's c-a-l-m.com slash cox 40 million people have

downloaded calm find out why at calm.com slash cox. Also today, we're brought to you by Robinhood. Robinhood is an investing app that lets you buy and sell stocks, ETFs, options, and cryptos all commission-free, while other brokerages charge up to $10 for every single trade. Robinhood doesn't charge any commission fees, so you can trade stocks and keep all of your profits. Plus, there's no account minimum deposit needed to get started, so you can just jump on there and start investing at any level. The simple, intuitive design of Robinhood makes investing easy for newcomers and experts alike. View easy-to-understand charts,

market data, and place a trade in just 4 tabs of your smartphone. You can view stock collections such as the 100 most popular. With Robinhood, you can learn how to invest in a market as you build your portfolio. Discover new stocks, track your favorite companies, get custom notifications for price movements so you never miss the right moment to invest. Trust me when I say the way to make money this day and age is investing, y'all. Robinhood is giving listeners of the Cox and Crandor Show a free stock like Apple, Ford, or Sprint to help you build your portfolio. Sign up at Crandor.Robinhood.com.

That's Crandor.Robinhood.com. That's Crendor.Robinhood.com. That's me. All right, let's go. ChoppyGum is in the sky with Crendor. How's that? ChoppyGum. Well, I'm flying over here, and it's raining, but it is kind of clearing up. But we still got some showers out there.

The thunder's gone. But, hey, you know what? Roads are a little slick, a little wet out there. So watch out if you're driving you have some slick roads unless you're not here in which case it might be dry then again it might be snowing where you are i don't know it might be cold it might be dark it might be bright it might be white i don't know if this is dr seuss rhyme for you uh and uh i'll tell you what to do back Back to you.

Thanks, Crennor. Now let's go over to Crennor at the weather desk. How's that weather? Hey, it's the weather desk. We haven't had a good old Woppy bot in a while, so let's kick it over to our weather bot, Woppy. Woppy. Woppy.

Woppy. Woppy activated. Four. Four. Four. Two. Two. 4, 2, 2. Abreula, Spain. Abreula. Abreula.

Abreula. Teruel, Spain. 61 degrees Fahrenheit. Feels like 61 degrees Fahrenheit. High, 61 degrees Fahrenheit. Low, 55 degrees Fahrenheit. High. 61 degrees. Fahrenheit. Low. 55 degrees. Fahrenheit. Monday. Hey, Woppy. Hey, Woppy. What is this city called again? Abuela. Teruel. Spain. Okay. Monday, 78 degrees Fahrenheit. Monday night, 58 degrees. Tuesday, 83 degrees.

Tuesday night, 60 degrees. Humidity, 55%. Slightly moist. I don't like that. I don't like the way it sounds. Especially coming out of WAPI. Slightly moist. No, not a fan.

I only needed to WAP him once to turn off. It's pretty solid. Yeah, he's getting better. He's getting better, dude. What is going on, sports? Sports. Well, we had some pretty decent sports news. We had the NBA draft happen.

Zion Williamson went number one through the Pelicans. happened. Zion Williamson went number one to the Pelicans. Probably one of the biggest players to get drafted since a LeBron James type place. He's supposed to be crazy. Then in the NHL draft, Jack Hughes went number one

overall to the New Jersey Devils. Those are the two big guys going into their sports of choice. Then football are getting ready to start up training camp pretty soon. And baseball is still happening. They are still playing bases and balls. And over in the World Cup, let's see what's happening in that. Looks like France beat Brazil.

England beat Cameroon. Australia and Norway tied, but it's got Norway with the thing. I don't know what that means. And Germany beat Nigeria. Tomorrow, we got Spain, United States, and Sweden, Canada. Who do you think is going to win? All right. I think it's going to be United States versus Sweden.

Really? And who is going to win that? Probably Sweden. Yeah, I believe. I believe. I believe that completely. But wait. Okay.

Let's wait. World Cup. Let me see the bracket. Let me make sure I'm doing this right. Okay. So you got Germany, France. Looks like Norway. Oh, it's guess Norway beat Australia

in a tie I don't get how these ties work are they like I don't know uh so yeah then United States Spain so then the winner of that plays France apparently the United States would play France or Spain would play France and I mean France, France is playing at home, so maybe France would win. I don't know. And then Sweden, looks like Canada would play Germany. Whoever wins that. And it looks like, yeah.

Oh, Italy's at the top of their thing over there. All right, well, we'll see what happens. I'm going to predict, those are my predictions, so I'm going to predict Those are my predictions though I'm saying Sweden America I'm not sure what you just predicted

I don't know what you just said It was all gibberish You were like I mean yeah that's about right And that's sports Alright what is our big news story of the day Big news Story of the day Big news Story of the day

Uber eats driver caught Masturbating in car after he dropped off food That's one people been sending in I mean I love it That's what they people really think That's the one we want Gosh did you hear about this guy who jerked it In his car after he delivered food

I'm happy he did it after yeah that's considerate if you ask me here's the thing with this like i'm gonna tell you what's gonna happen in this story literally the title they're gonna be like an uber eats guy delivered his food and then he jerked it in the car and they saw him and called the police that's what it's gonna be all right let me read this real quick to clarify. He's arrested, masturbating in a car, fast food delivery. He's 30, of Newark, dropped off food, 23-year-old woman in a hack and sack. Hack and sack? But after realizing the food was delivered in a bag that was not stapled,

the woman approached the car with Porto in it. It was then that she saw him jerking it. She recorded the incident before he left and called the police. He was charged with lewdness. Uber called the allegation disturbing and unacceptable. We've been in touch with customers, so I'll make sure. And that's it. Yeah.

So we learned nothing. Learned absolutely nothing. See, that's what I mean. That's one of those. Now, this looks like it could be a winner. All right, here we go. I'm ready. Spider-Man seen pressure-washing roof

of Florida home during rainstorm. Okay, yeah. Now this type of thing, you don't know where it's going. Yeah, I have no idea what this story is. It's not every day you see Spider-Man taking time away from crime-fighting duties to pressure-wash a home. You're right.

George Martinez posted a video to Instagram of Spider-Man washing a roof while a storm was on the way. It's pouring with lightning and thunder in the background. I look out my window and I see this. There he is on the roof. Hold on.

Amazing. There you go. I love this guy already. I like how in my mind it was he had a hose thing, but this is literally he is like holding one of those like Yeah, like well it was like scrubbers. Yeah, he's holding a scrubber Really is friendly and neighborhood In the video two men are heard debating whether spider-man was tethered or just relying on his spidey sense to keep him safe turns out spidey's alter ego was a worker

with sunset paving and pressure his name is peter parker uh he's the father of a friend of mine who owns a cleaning company martinez said he got the suit for father's day and the rest is history no that's not history you can't just say he got suit for father's day and the rest is history no that's not history you can't just say he got the super father's day and then did this why did he do this yeah why'd he do it like was he out of clothes and he's just like i'll put the suit on was he looking for somebody to record him was he like trying to entertain people like we got we got to interview him the source i have so many so many questions about this entire thing. I do too. There's also one people sent.

Police find satanic ritual dungeon in Chuck E. Cheese basement. Say garlic bread was used to lure people to their deaths. That can't be real. That's not a real story. That's not a real story. There's no way. Garlic bread was used to lure people to their deaths? That's probably my favorite headline I've ever heard.

Garlic bread lured people to their death. Ooh, garlic bread on the ground. I think I'll eat it. Ooh, another garlic bread. Ooh, another garlic bread. Dead. Garlic dead? Garlic dead.

I get it. It rhymes with bread and it implies this story I guess let's see and that that might be the big news stories people sent us

I think that's like it so is there nothing about that story no they didn't even talk to the guy who got lured into the Chuck E cheese well wait hold on let me type it in it was just like a picture of the article wasn't actually a link to the article oh so we don't even know if

that's a real article dungeon garlic bread hold on we'll find out dungeon garlic bread is not something you should ever type into Google uh don't you garlic a big thing that says false wait I mean I knew it was funny but it was false yeah I knew it couldn't be true but now that I know it's not true I don't like it anymore yeah I don't that's yeah no um sad times you just hope for these types of things yeah you hope that there's gonna be a dungeon in a chuck e cheese and when it doesn't happen story of my life that's another great quote for uh years later all right well i guess that's it

for us yeah thank you so much for listening and watching or however you enjoying crendor hit up the socials sure thing hey you know what this is what you gotta do you gotta check out youtube.com slash cox and crendor that's gonna give you all the fun animations of this show you're looking for made into good actual animated clips then if you want to listen to us talk more youtube.com slash cox and crendor podcast you just throw podcasts on the end of it you'll find all the backlog episodes dating back to episode one uh also you can go on soundcloud.com slash cox and crendor you can search us on spotify we're on itunes or whatever they're breaking itunes into and uh probably some other stuff thrown in there also follow us on our actual socials we got twitter.com slash jesse cox twitter.com slash crendor twitter.com slash jessicox, twitter.com slash creddor, facebook.com slash jessicox, facebook.com slash creddor, youtube.com slash jessicox,

youtube.com slash creddor, twitch.tv slash jessicox, twitch.tv slash creddor, and that's it. Alrighty. Well, that's it for us. We'll see you guys next week. And as always, boop! to be continued.