Cox n' Crendor Show - Episode 205 - General Anxiety

Episode Date: August 10, 2019

The boys are back and this time they've brought with them all the adventures in Australia Jesse can remember! Also Crendor continues to paint new friends and a man dresses as his daughter to escape prison. All this and more on an exciting new episode of Cox n' Crendor! To get your 15% off your first pair, free shipping, and a 100% Satisfaction Guarantee, go to http://meundies.com/crendor. HoneyBook is offering our listeners 50% off when you visit http://tryhoneybook.com/cox.

Today's episode is brought to you by me, undies! They are the undies that I have upon me, although now I'm wearing boxers. I've switched it up, y'all. I've switched it up and I'm feeling good. Also, today we're brought to you by HoneyBook. If you run a business, you know the worst part of running a business is the management. HoneyBook is here to help you do all of that. And my god, do I need help.

Hello, everybody! It's time for Ghosts and Crackdowns! that and my god do I need help Hello everybody, welcome to an exciting episode of Cox and Crendo in the morning. Greetings. Oh, hello dear sir. Hello, greetings. Yes, greetings to you. Isn't it weird how different words can portray different attitudes and feelings?

So weird. If I were to say, hey, how's it going? Or if I was to say greetings, or if I was to say bonsoir. First off, the only person who says bonsoir is the villain in Mr. Robot. Bonsoir, Elliot. Bonsoir, Elliot.

No one else says that in the world. But it triggered that in you. No one says greetings. Like, no one says it like that. No one's just like, greetings. It's like out at a bar, like, yo, what's up, dude? Greetings. Greetings. If I went

to a bar and you said it to me, I'd be like, I don't feel welcome here. I think I should leave. Greetings. What brings you in? Now that I'd be fine with. If you had an accent to it. Like a vampire bartender? Really, any accented greetings is fine.

If it's like, greetings, right? Greetings, y'all. Yeah, it sounds great. But if you just flat out go, greetings, you sound like a killer. You sound like a crazy person. Greetings. I agree that there are no lizard people. Right.

But if you said it like, greetings, I agree there are no lizard people uh well right but if you said it like greatens i agree there are no lizard people everyone be like that guy's all right yeah well it's like how you say it too because you could be like hey greetings or you could be like greetings that's what i'm saying but no matter what you still said it with no accent which was the biggest problem for we can do that hello to be like hey how's it going or like hey how's it going no that's fine it just sounds like you had a bad day doesn't sound like you're a killer you

just you just don't want to say hello to me yes you're adding layers at that point yeah if you just said if you said hello that's fine goodbye that's fine greetings that's fine goodbye that's fine greetings that's crazy that's you are a crazy person uh oh yeah i guess so we solve that real quick don't do that kids don't go out there do it and address people with greetings greetings so uh what have you been doing while i've been gone what have i been doing uh well let's see i guess it's been a week i was thinking like it's been a lot longer than that

uh i was fighting off some illness my glands were all swollen it's one of those things where like i didn't have a sore throat i didn't have anything it's just like my swollen lymph node glands so is that your book my swollen glands that'd be my biography as uh as one does when they're a hypochondriac went to the doctor and they were like it's it feels normal you're just fighting off something it'll be fine in like a week or two and i was like okay so uh they're feeling better as uh you might expect. But good, good. Good for the glands. Good for the glands. But on top of that, I just kind of chilled out.

Played some League of Legends auto chess. Played some, painted some Warhammer again. Still doing that. Did some more streams on it. I had some people hop in the stream and they're like, Crandor, I heard you do this thing on the Cox Crandor and I stopped in and it's pretty neat. And I was like, hey, thanks, dude.

I did that too this past week. What, you saw me paint Warhammer? No, I did it myself. Oh, whoa, you actually did it? Yeah, so I don't, well, that's a relative term. Okay, you took a step. At the convention I was at in Australia, they had an entire area that

was a paint take and i assume bake i don't know it was it was like a paint and take thing and you could learn how to paint little figures and miniatures and so uh they gave you you know some pretty crappy ones that are plastic and stuff. Right. And different paints. Then you sat down and you would paint them. I don't know why, but I picked a pirate that also happened to be the most intricate pirate. Like, for a first-time paint, it was rough. However, once I figured out how I want to do stuff, there were some intricate things that I feel like the brushes they provided were not good enough for. Oh, yeah.

It was like a bunch of brushes. Yeah. However, with that It's like a bunch of brushes. Yeah. However, with that said, I did really well. I only managed in like the hour or two that I had to paint the top part of this lady. But she has a pink pirate hat with a black feather in it, and she had red hair, and she had like a face that was kind of painted. And I took a lot of time with her bra. I felt like that was important. Very.

Yeah, I worked really hard at it and then I gave her black gloves to match the black feather. I was doing great and then I posted a picture online and was like, guys, my first attempt and some guy goes, yeah, well when you're finished with it, it'll look better. I'm like, oh Guys, look what I did. Did you

thin your paints you idiot i mean i mix i bob rossed it i'm not gonna lie i took everything i learned from bob ross where i if i was like okay if i want to make a pink i need to take this ambrosia red and this illusion white and mix the two together and then you know i have a like sort of a fusion pink and i put that on and then i was like okay well no one really wears all black black so a pirate's black would have to be which is now my new i'm phrasing that pirate's black where i took some of the same white and then i used like a midnight black and i mixed the two together it formed like a like a darkish gray oh i was doing the whole thing i felt really good about it. That's what I'm saying.

There's like a zen aspect to it. Once you get into it, you get into it. When I'm doing my guys, I'm like, dude, I can put war paint on his face. I can do this thing. I messed up his mouth, but I was like, dude, I messed up the mouth, but it looks like war paint. Oh, let's give him war paint. You just start snowballing it.

I did have a problem where at one point I dabbed a little black from the feather onto the hat so then i had to re-go over the that and i just like kept doing it over and over and over again i was like this is gonna get me nowhere i just what am i doing yeah also making skin color flesh tone sucks i was trying to figure out like how to make the flesh tony bits oh yeah oh you would like the uh the contrast paints i just got it's like Fleshtone sucks. I was trying to figure out, like, how to make the flesh-tone-y bits. Oh, yeah. Oh. You would like the contrast paints I just got.

It's like Warhammer Citadel's, like, latest thing where it literally does three painting steps in one. So a lot of people are like, oh, you don't get the same detail. It's pretty great. It legit, it's like slab it on and it just looks good. And you're like, wow, this is great. I, like, painted a whole guy in like 30 minutes. Damn. I wish I – see, that's my problem is I went and saw some of the figures that they had.

And they only had Warhammer 40K stuff. I was very disappointed. I was like, I don't want to paint any of this. Yeah. But they did have an undead chariot monster thing I was like that looks cool as hell but it came mostly colored uh that's I don't know what the rules are am I supposed to color over that because it's mostly colored what do I do I already did it because normally it doesn't well it's in a box and it basically said that the spiritual like the spirit the spirituality of it the the ghost bits were pre-colored huh i don't

know that that's weird yeah i know there's different types of like mod like there's plastic and resin and metal resins like some of my guys came in resin they're like you can't use the plastic glue you gotta use super glue and you gotta clean them so i'd like scrub them down with like a toothbrush and like soapy water till i get the resin shit off of them and then you're like you know my favorite part is that at least there's someone out there who's guiding you through there are people in your chat who are like oh actually you can't do that yeah there's always people are just like make sure you thin the paints make sure you always always, like, you do the base coat. Then you do the shade.

Then you do the blah, blah. And then they're like, contrast paints. Some people get too relied on, but you can use them for certain things. But it's okay if you do that. Okay. And then I was like, all right. Okay. Good.

I'm learning. So I've actually learned a lot just from people yelling at me. When I'm there, we need to do a stream. We need to do a stream where we paint. We definitely will. During the day, just from people yelling at me. When I'm there, we need to do a stream. We need to do a stream where we paint. We definitely will. During the day, we'll go buy weird figures. I need to find the one that is a book with legs. So help me God.

We'll go to an actual games workshop. An actual workshop? Well, the actual games workshop where they do charge as much as they can for everything. And we'll get the fresh off. There's some other games places you can actually get it. Maybe a little cheaper. We're going for that brand name

book with legs. Thank you very much. It's pretty neat. There they actually play games and stuff. They do it some other places. It's just, you know. I think it'll be a fun. I think it'll be more fun to go into the actual games workshop.

And then you're just like, ooh, I want this thing. And they're like, all right, here you go. And then it'll be an experience. Well, speaking of which, in a week's time, I will be in Chicago. Actually, I'll be there before a week's time.

But in a week's time is when our show is, on the 14th. Oh, yeah. Wow, I can't believe it's that close. I know. We're almost there. Hey, everyone listening right now, I've been told that we have another 15 tickets we can get rid of. Wowee. So help us.

Buy these tickets. Make us look good in front of people we don't know. Make us look good in front of the Chicago people I don't know. So there are tickets. There are 15, exactly 15 available now at CoxAndCrendor.com. If you go there, you can buy the tickets. It's in Chicago. All the information's there.

It is a 18-plus show. Bring me your weird Chicago foods and or drinks and or snacks. I want to try them. What's the weird Chicago thing that people in Chicago love that I will be like, what is this? What did you do? What's going on here? It's like Malort.

You ever had Malort? I don't know what that is. It sounds like space food. It's like alcohol if they just... I'm not a fan. You can't... Well, you can't name something Malort and then say it's alcohol. That's not how this works. Malort is the name of an alien that twiggles while you eat it.

If they poured, like, engine oil and rubbing alcohol together and then sold it. Malort! It's called Malort. What is... I need to look. What is Malort? Malort What is Malort Malort alcohol Jepson's Malort is a brand of Basque liquor

Introduced in the 30's long produced by Chicago's Carl Jepson My favorite part is all the videos Are people with a grossed out face It's like Everyone here says And I quote It's the worst liquor ever

Why would I ever want to try this Jepson's Malort Everyone here says, and I quote, it's the worst liquor ever. Why would I ever want to try this? Jepson's Malort. You got to try it. It's like a Chicago alcohol. See, this is why I'm excited. Bring me your Chicago stuff. It's literally just breathing in the air in a liquid bottle form.

Oh, there's many types of Malort. There is a pink Malort and a blue Malort. Blue Malort. Oh, my God. This article, Malort Chicago's proudly unpalatable spirit is masochism at its most Midwestern. How would you describe this rotten grapefruit sugar and regret it's uh no don't let's don't even listen that i'm telling you it's engine oil and rubbing alcohol that's the palate you're gonna get my lord yeah um so you try that and if nobody brings it to you i'll just take you somewhere and buy it i i'm worried now that people are just gonna bring too much of it that's all they're gonna bring bring things that are good too

oh my god the shit what is a chicago handshake? A Chicago handshake is slang for a drink special involving a shot of Malort paired with an old school Midwestern beer. Typically old style beer. I hate old style. Everyone does. Oh, boy. None of this sounds pleasant. None of this.

I was hoping for like, you know, one of those $60 cakes. I don't know. Something good. Oh, yeah. I don't know. I mean, there will be good stuff. Aside from that, it's just like other cities where it's just a bunch of shit, like, mixed together. Yeah, I'm hoping for that.

All right, bring me your best Midwest stuff. If you're coming in from out of state, bring us your best Midwest stuff. Midwest. Best Midwest. Look, I'm still trying. I just came back. Dude, I left Australia at 930 in the morning and arrived in LA at 605 AM the same day. I went back in time.

Oh, my God. I am still completely out of it. I don't know what's going on. My whole body is just like, whatever. Oh my god. I am still completely out of it. I don't know what's going on. My whole body is just like, whatever. Oh, when I was there, I tripped and fell on some stairs. Right on the corner of the stairs, like a big dummy. Right below my knee. And it is so, the bruise is so big and so swollen and gross.

Oh my god. I'm not wearing shorts for a while, let me tell you. It is the worst. It is so ugly looking. I was looking in the mirror and it is like two fists worth of a bruise that is just black and blue all up my leg.

When I got on the plane, my whole legs, my left leg swelled up because of it. Oh my god, it sucked what a just the worst thing in the world yeah that is it's a no bueno I know definite no bueno

what else to do in Australia how is the okay as soon as you said like this is gonna be a 20 hour flight or whatever it was you could not you could not pay me to do that. I would not. Here's what I'll say.

One of the things that I think is good about longer flights is that all the seats are like at a certain time they, they make it, I think it's like after 11 hours or whatever, there's like a cutoff where they by law, I think have to give you more room. And so it at least isn't a cramped flight, There's like a cutoff where they, by law, I think, have to give you more room. And so it at least isn't a cramped flight.

But it's still long and sucks. Because it's an overnight flight, every time what will happen is I'll end up asleep. I'll just go to bed. The plane will take off at 11 o'clock at night. I'll fall asleep. I will go nine hours just knocked out, and then I'll wake up, and they'll be like, sir, we're three hours or four hours from landing. Would you like something to eat?

I'll have a little meal, and then I'll watch a movie or two, and then we'll land. So it's not too terrible, but coming back, my leg was like, like just throbbing. I didn't sleep at all because I had gone out the night before to a convention after party. And got on the plane, was expecting to fall asleep, did not fall asleep. I think I passed out a few times, but I was awake most of the flight. I kept, like, knocking out for an hour and then waking up because I'd have to move my leg. My leg would, like, end up in a weird position.

So I'd have to end up moving it and went to the front of the plane and back and just stood around for a little bit. And then, yeah, I landed and was just a mess all day yesterday. Just a total mess. And then I went to bed, and I woke up today i feel great so you know sleep it'll it'll cure what else is that's the thing is like i can't even sleep on planes i have too much like anxiety or it's like that kind of feeling of like i'm not in a comfortable area like i have to be like you know in like a like a place i know where i'm like all right this is a safe place like on a

plane i'm like okay something could happen uh so i place. Like on a plane, I'm like, okay, something could happen. So I don't know. I'm just on edge. I never feel that way. And I know we talked about this before, but I never have that like, what if something terrible happens to me? You know what? I change my mind. If I'm in the water in the ocean, I'm only thinking

how many sharks are around me at any given time. That's it. And the other time, I'm not... I don't have that worry of just like, oh, something's going to get me or the plane's going to fall out of the sky. Well, you don't have generalized anxiety disorder. I clearly don't. I clearly don't. But I know that I'm also, I feel like I'm an aberration because sometimes people get

really upset about things. I'm like, well, isn't that bad? I'm just like, why are you so upset? upset like it wasn't that big of a deal and i feel like maybe maybe i have like an empathy problem even though i feel like i don't right because i empathize with people for a lot of things but i feel like sometimes maybe i have a higher threshold that might what is like a real problem in the world like it doesn't seem like a problem to me i don't know what you're getting worked up about yeah i don't have that i just i get anxiety like this i'm just like i've got to get to the doctor my glands are slightly swollen and they're like

uh you're fine i'm like all right oh can relax now like it's uh it's just my brain's like constant like it just it finds something to worry about so i have to take it off of worrying by doing things like painting or streaming or uh whatever sure sure i get that i i can understand how you could hate flying and especially flying a long way like going to australia is it is, it's a trip. It is a long flight. And it is, for the most part, a boring flight. And going out there, you can go through all the movies you want to watch and coming back have none left. And you're now like stuck on a plane, losing your mind. Yeah.

So I get it. I get it completely. But shout out to virgin australia it was a very nice flight well what did you do uh what do you do in australia i landed and then i know and then proceeded to let me let me walk you through exactly what i did all right here's what happened landed the plane i'm not that i landed the plane although that would have been a great story to start with i landed the plane myself i had to save the pilots it was amazing no the plane the plane landed and the minute i got into canberra which is where the uh convention was i met one of

the convention uh heads and he and i went out and grabbed a burger because i was like i'm so hungry i've been on a plane so we got a hamburger at a place that I was like, I'm so hungry. I've been on a plane. So we got a hamburger at a place that was called like Grillers or Chillers or Grilled, something like that. Yeah. And it was all right. It was a hamburger. And then I went back to my room and might have stayed there for two hours before they were like, we're going out drinking. I was like, all right.

And so we went out and we drank and I got to meet a bunch of people. Oh, the reason why we took, I totally forgot this for some reason. The reason why we took a two hour break is because I went on the radio in Australia on ABC, which is Australian Broadcasting Channel. So I went on the radio and did a radio interview about the convention. and did a radio interview about the convention, where I found out while on the radio interview that the convention had an 18-plus nighttime event that was cosplay pole dancing. And I learned that while on the show,

and I was like, go on. And she was like, yeah, we're going to do this whole thing at night. It's Star Wars themed. We know you like that. And I was like, I may have to attend strictly for canonical reasons because I can't have Leia doing things that she would not normally do uh and then we yeah then we went out drinking and the next day i woke up and went to the convention and it was very nice it was lovely uh i had a little booth thing where i signed stuff and i uh went around and spent the majority of the day oh my god with uh the voice

actor who's the voice of Xemnas in Kingdom Hearts. He and I spent a lot of time together over the entire trip. And he's lovely. I don't want to screw up his name because I think it's like Peter St. Paul or Paul St. Peter, one of the two. He does a bunch of anime VO and all sorts of stuff. And we spent a lot of time just being goofballs. But when we went to the guest room, you know where they like cram all of the

guests of the convention into there were like 13 mannequins in there why i don't know even the staff were like we just found them and moved them in here because we didn't know what to do with them they were just naked mannequins everywhere and we were joking around about how uh if we ever go missing and there's another mannequin here, you know why. All these mannequins are actually just previous guests. And what ended up happening is as the day went on, the mannequins, people were moving the mannequins. So every time you open the door to go in the guest room, it's a different arrangement of mannequins. And then by the end of it, someone had taken all of their limbs and formed a pentagram on the ground.

What the shit? And people were like, what is going What the shit? And people were like, what is going on in here? And I was like, I don't know! Everyone was like, Jesse, you do this. And I was like, I haven't been in here to do this. I don't know who did. It was crazy. And then I went out to, oh my god, that

night, I met some friends who I had met at PAX Australia a few years back. And we went out. And, Krendor, I was not prepared for Australian nightlife. At least in Canberra, which is the capital of the nation. I was not prepared for how insane nightlife is. Oh.

Apparently, at least here in the States, from what I've seen, people have this sort of, I want to look cool and I want to act cool and I don't want anyone to think I'm kind of like a big goober. So everyone puts on this sort of air of being too cool. Where I was, it was no cool. I first went to a bar called Kokomo's which was sort of like a an island theme bar and the things i saw first off the entranceway four or five girls drunkenly dancing at a level of drunken dancing i have never seen just like throwing themselves around where you're just like i just would like to go into the bar please they're like just and then we get up to the bar and in front of us are another group of women who are ordering their drinks and uh next to us is this very tall very attractive model looking dude this girl next

to me turns and looks at him and even though you can't see me, just know that she mouths in the biggest, like not even trying to hide it, just mouths him like, oh my God, I want you so bad. Doesn't say it, but just mouths it at him. And I'm looking at her and she sees that I'm looking at her,

does not care. It's just like, oh my God, he's so hot. And then turns to her friends and her friends look over. And It's just like, oh my god, he's so hot. And then turns to her friends, and her friends look over, and then she's like, I want to mount him. Oh my god.

And I'm just like, does no one see? This girl is the thirstiest human I've ever seen. It was so funny. If I lived there, I think I would be in jail. Because I'd'd be in jail Because I'd have to keep up I'd have to keep up Everyone there Out on the street We walked by this one area

That was sort of like An open park area And uh There was like a dude Just openly crying And his friend was like Screw her man Screw her

And then Not two feet from them Was a couple arguing About the dude on the bench. And I was like, what is happening? And then we walked by this parking lot. And the parking lot, I was told, is known for sad handjobs. All sorts of things. And I was like, this is the greatest nightlife I've ever seen.

Everything's so incredibly entertaining. Everything about it was entertaining. I could have stayed out all night. I was like, what? Who are these people? That sounds like, well, it sounds crazier than I thought Australia would be. But man, everyone was just having a great time. And everyone was just out there.

And they were just being themselves and like very uh upfront about who they were and no one was like felt like they needed to sort of tone down their personalities and i loved that i was like oh my god i love everything about this so uh it was very fun and then i drunkenly got up the next day and went back to the convention and had a a great time, and then I literally came home. It was a very short trip. But because of the time travel, it was technically longer here. Because I left on a Wednesday, arrived on a Friday, and then left there on a Monday and came back on a Monday morning. I don't...

Yeah, time travel, man. We crossed the dateline, and I went to the future, and then I came back to the past. Yeah, I don't I don't know That's a lot of time I don't even know what time it is in Australia right now What time is it? If I had to guess

I'd say it's night Late Like 3am It's 11am Is it? Wow It is Yeah, 11am

But in Perth it's's 9 a.m. That's because Perth is on the other side. I learned a lot about Perth. So I was like, okay, I get Sydney. I get Brisbane. I get Melbourne. I get Canberra. I get all that.

Talk to me about Perth. And everyone's like, Perth is apparently the most secluded major city in the world because it's on the other side of the country in like past the desert it's also where the most sharks are so i was like i'm not going there but most people who live there or most people go there for work in the mines and but they don't actually live there they're from other nations around australia or something like that i was blown away i learned so much about perth that i don't remember now. I was really impressed.

But, yeah, you also forget how big of a nation Australia is. Yeah. Because it has two time zones. Yeah, just looking at it. Or three time zones, technically. It's actually, yeah, it's like half the size of China, which is, like, still pretty big. Yeah.

Although most of it's like half the size of China Which is like still pretty big Although most of it's It's like the opposite It's kind of like how you think of Canada Canada's huge But most people live on the southern part of Canada Yeah that's true Australia's very very big But most people live around the edges The middle of it is

Desert stuff That's where the things kill you outback although i'd go in an outback oh my god speaking of outback apparently there's a place in australia that's kind of like outback steakhouse i was like wait time out what it's called outback jacks or something i was like hold on none of you go here do you and a lot of people were like oh yeah it's great a lot of people were like no that's, it's great. And a lot of people were like, no, that's for tourists. It sucks. And I was like, wait a minute. You need to have a national conversation about this because we look at Outback Steakhouse as kind of like the booty version of Australian food. Yeah. So what you're saying is actually most of Australian food is not

even related to Outback Steakhouse. No one in Australia is like, give me a Bloomin' Onion. No one's like that. Outback Steakhouse, it's literally just like a shitty steakhouse with a bloomin' onion. Sorry, Outback. You'll never be a sponsor on this. Actually, you may be, in which case, what great steaks they have. It's like the Olive Garden of Italian food. Olive Garden is just literally like super fatty, sodium-filled garbage. Here's the thing. I have family members who love Olive Garden is just literally like super fatty, sodium-filled garbage.

Here's the thing. I have family members who love Olive Garden. There are people in my extended family who are like, I love Olive Garden. Some guy outside is revving his engine so loud to get to Olive Garden right now. He heard you talk about it. He was like, unlimited soup and breadsticks. The thing is, I looked this all up on the stream. We were debating Olive Garden. There's like what was it? It was like the pepperoni

pasta bowl is like twice the amount of sodium you're supposed to have in a day. I don't nothing. Here's how I know Olive Garden is bad for you. When they advertise

you can get one meal and then take home a completely different meal free. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, they're just like, hey. The reason I know that's bad for you is because there's no way anything fresh made and or, you know, not cheap

can be the right, like, if they're giving you a whole separate meal, the cost of that separate meal they're writing off Which means the cost of that separate meal Not very much Basically you're paying $12.99 or whatever you're paying for the one meal That's for two meals

And they're still making a profit That's $7 a piece So on top of that what are they feeding you How is your Pasta primavera or whatever? Costing six? It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense to me.

Oh, I just like the breadsticks. I looked up the breadsticks. Here's why they like it. One breadstick is like 40 grams of fat or some shit. Like it's just loaded with butter. Those are good breadsticks though. Those are damn good breadsticks. It's literally literally a fat stick they just slather it so that's why i have to look this up because i'm like well i can't you know just eat a breadstick and then a pasta thing and then have no gallbladder

and like die so i have to like man back in the midwest we, I remember when I was young, my parents and I, because, you know, it's the Midwest. There's not much to choose from. Yeah, we would often go to lunch at Olive Garden because it was soup, salad, and breadsticks. And it was unlimited. So I'd just, like, order a little soup and have some salad and have breadsticks. That was, like, lunch. Yeah. I guess that makes sense.

Well, when you're, like, in the mid-Midwest, that's, like. When you're, yeah. Yeah. When you're in the middle of Ohio, your options are not plentiful. I remember when I drove to Ohio and like, it's like, okay, we got steak and shake. Okay. We got another steak and shake. Okay.

We've got another steak and shake. All right. And then I stopped at a steak and shake. Steak and shake's great though. Don't hate steak and shake. It's great. It's like I said, I don't hate steak and shake. I hate the service of steak and shake.

So then I stopped at the one. I remember. Oh my, I don't hate Steak and Shake. I hate the service at Steak and Shake. So then I stopped at the one. I remember. Oh, my God. Speaking of service at Steak and Shake, have I ever told you the story about one time drunken? No, I'm not going to say drunkenly. I was in high school. One time disorderly, I, with friends, went to a Steak and Shake late at night And rather than Eat Served people food

I don't think so So We go to the steak and shake And this is We're seniors in high school And you know Everyone who's a senior in high school Thinks they're hot shit

Right And so We go to the steak and shake And it's myself And a couple friends and, like, various girls we're trying to impress. And we sit down, and we order food, but the food's taking forever to show up. And so I go to the counter.

I'm like, hey, can I help you? I know you guys, it looks like you're backed up, but can I help you? And they're like, sure, take some orders. So I go around the notepad and start taking people's orders, and I go over to this one group i'm like all right what do you have and i write down all this food and i go back over i'm like okay i took the orders and like you're good at this i'm like yeah i know and they're like okay give people drinks so i start giving people drinks and i'm like really excited about this meanwhile i have

four i've forgotten my friends exist i am now serving at a steak and shake. Just like I got an apron, got one of their little steak and shake hats, and I was walking around and I was just like, okay, what are you going to be having? Alright, then I'm like, we need a number one flipped up on the grill top and we got to have that one extra spicy. And I'm like, you know, just going

through the whole thing, bringing people milkshakes. They wouldn't let me behind the counter to like make stuff. But they gave me, and I was just like, it was the fastest service they ever had at Steak and Shake. I guarantee that. I was out there bringing people drinks, and then at the end of the night, they were like, you know what?

Your meal's on us. And I was like, hey. So everyone at my table was really happy. But I didn't talk to anyone. I'm sure my friends had a great time. I wouldn't know. I didn't talk to anyone. I'm sure my friends had a great time. I wouldn't know. I didn't talk with them. I went around and acted like an idiot, pretending that I was like a cafeteria lady serving people food all night.

Yeah, I could picture that happening. That's the Midwest. There probably were rules involved where they didn't need, like, they didn't, I wasn't supposed to be back there. It didn't matter. It was 2 a.m. No one cared, obviously. I remember when I went into the one, it was just like, I think it was like on the Ohio-Indiana border. And I just went in and there was like two families like praying.

Like they're like about to eat their food and they were praying. And I was just like. That's very Indiana. Indiana's very religious. I was. I'd never seen That's very Indiana. Indiana's very religious. I was, I'd never seen that in my life. Normally, you know. Maybe they were praying that the food wouldn't kill them. You never know. I guess like, you know, if it's like

more, it's possible. More of like a small town, like nobody's around. It's like, I don't really know. It reminded me of like those small towny type of like, hey, Cletus, the family's here. Like, oh, well, let's all come out for a prayer. I was like, they don't know where I'm from. They just yell at you.

Or they just don't do it. That's the difference. We're big city fools now. So that's the difference is that in small-town America, it's a little slower and a little more like your options for the family dinner. We're ruined. We're ruined to the world. There's so many food options in cities. You're done.

I grew up in my backyard. We had like a small backyard and then an alleyway. And I remember we'd like try to play basketball in the alleyway and like cars would speed through. So we had to set up cones so that we just wouldn't die. Yeah, we, in my hometown, the options of food we had were like McDonald's, TGI Fridays, a Subway, a Blimpies, which was like a Subway. Olive Garden. Marion's Pizza, which was the one pizza place around us until a Donato's opened up eventually. And then, yeah, just very little options. But by the time I left high school, man, we had a Chipotle.

We had rallies. Rallies opened up. It was pretty great. We had, yeah, Burger Kings. Although the Burger King was really far away. It took a while to get to that. Once I went off to college and I was like, oh my god, there are options? And you don't just have to settle for a hamburger?

What? It's not just Wendy's. Oh, it's crazy. Now, mind you, all this could be avoided if you just cooked food at home, which is true. Which is what I think most people in my hometown do, right? But with that said, although now, who knows? The world may have changed yeah i think it's changed now enough everybody just goes out that's true because even then there's a lot of

people probably gotta drive to the grocery store 40 minutes let's just get mcdonald that but like man don't do that i don't know yeah so that's i mean mean, that was my trip to Australia, I guess. Well. Yeah. All right, Crandor. Let me tell you about me undies. Okay. Me undies are here to change the game. And by game, I mean the underwear you're wearing right now if they're not me undies.

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Well, it's more of the same. It's backed up. But don't worry. It won't be like that for long. A couple weeks. Maybe even one week. People are starting school again. backed up but don't worry won't be like that for long a couple weeks maybe even one week people are starting school again so that's gonna help you know make the traffic less at least through the normal hours still we got that rush hour

traffic no matter where you go but you know people stopping their vacations vacation times over and back to the old grind as I like to say do I like to say that I guess I don't really like to say that well as I like to say. Do I like to say that? I guess I don't really like to say that. Well, some people like to say it. So, back to the old grind. Back to you. Thanks, Crandon. Now let's go over to Crandon.

The weather desk. How's that weather? Weather. What up? Let's see. Let's type in a 744 5 6

That's going to take us to Kat Katangan Kalimantan Tengah, Indonesia. Whoa, what? Yep. Hold on.

Kalimantan Tengah Katangan Whoa, what? Yep. Hold on. What is the name of this place? Kat Ingan. K-A-T-I-N-G-A-N, comma, Kalimantan, Tenga, comma, Indonesia. Karen, Karen, Karen Gant Killam? Kat Ingan, Kalimantan, Tenga, Indonesia. I'm glad you guys figured out I can't find this place. I don't know that it's real, but I believe you.

Well, currently, if it's real, it's 88 degrees with some a.m. showers. A few showers this morning, got most of the cloud conditions during the afternoon. High 88. Winds light and variable. Chance of rain, you got 30% chance of that rain coming in, so watch out. Tonight, 71 degrees, 20% chance. Thursday, uh thursday gonna hit a 90 degree high you're getting way up there except for friday we're gonna hit 92 whoo you're getting way up way up uh thursday night however 69 degrees that's the funny number and then uh looking ahead you got 94 95 93 93 93, 93, 92, 90. So watch out.

It's going to be getting hot in there. Oh, yeah, that's the weather. All right. What is going on in sports? Sports. Big sports news. Well, baseball is happening. That's kind of it.

That's the big sports news? You hyped it up, and then you're like, baseball is going on right now? NFL preseason starts Thursday. What about like, I was in Australia. Why don't we cover rugby? Rugby news. New Zealand, then Wales, then Ireland, then South Africa, then England, then Australia, then Scotland, then France, then Fireland then south africa then england then australia then scotland then france then fiji

then argentina the biggest climber has been the u.s who's moved up to number 13 wow look at us yeah look at that it's all that malort we're drinking yeah damn the malort's boosting us up looks like uh who else is up here biggest Biggest fallers. Ghana has fallen. Italy and Poland have gone down a bit. Finland's on the rise. Uzbekistan. Hey, look at that. I don't like the phrase Finland's on the rise.

Finland's on the rise. But you're not telling me scores. What's going on? Give me an example. I don't know how to find these scores. It's confusing. You don't? Live rugby scores. There are no rugby matches. Damn it. That's gotta be rugby matches. Confusing live rugby scores. Tonga and Canada face off tonight. That's nice. Yeah. Australia, Australia

rugby scores. There we go. Yeah, here we go. The National Rugby League. There we go. Oh, yeah. Some of these names look great. So there's the West Tigers versus the Raiders. The Sharks fought the Eels. What are the Rabbitohs? What the hell is that? I love how one of their team's name is the Roosters.

What is a Rabbitoh? It's like a rabbit. What is a Rabbitoh? It's a rabbit. A Rabbitoh is a rabbit. But is a rabido? It's a rabbit! A rabido is a rabbit. Why are they called rabidos? I don't know. I'm looking up what a rabido is.

It's an informal way of saying the person who sells rabbits for eating. What? That's incredible. I love that. I thought it was just rabbits, but really, they're the people that sell rabbits to people. I guess it's kind of like the Packers, Green Bay. They, like, pack the meat, you know? Yeah. Oh, the Steelers. Steelworkers. I get it.

Yeah, I get it. That's fantastic. Wow. The Sydney Roosters. Oh, man. If I had to rep anyone, it would be the Sydney Roosters, because they're a bunch of cocks. I get it. All right. What is our big news story of the day? Big news story of the day. Here's one. Brazilian gang leader dresses up as his daughter to escape jail, but fails. All right. Yeah. Okay. Here we go. Hit me. I need to know how he thought this was going to work.

Alright, well, first off, here's the disguise. Alright, I mean, if his daughter's made of plastic, then yes, it would have worked. A Brazilian gang leader tried to escape from prison by dressing up as his daughter when she visited him behind bars and walking out of the penitentiary's main door. But prison officials said the nervousness displayed by Clavino de Silva, also known as Shorty, as he tried to leave the prison in the western part of Rio de Janeiro dressed as a woman, gave him away. His plan was apparently to leave his 19-year-old daughter inside jail. Police are looking into her possible role as an accomplice in the failed escape. Rio State

Secretary of Prison Administration released photos showing Da Silva in a silicon girl's mask and a long dark wig wearing tight jeans and a pink shirt with a cartoon image of donuts. It is like a Mickey Mouse donut, by the way.

The shirt is Mickey Mouse donuts with Mickey Mouse gloves making a heart sign. I would have fallen for this. I would have been like, well, you know, he got me. Authorities say De Silva was part of a leadership of Red Command, one of the most powerful criminal groups in Brazil that controlled drug trafficking in a large part of Rio. After the failed escape bid, Da Silva was transferred to a unit of maximum security

and will face disciplinary sanctions. A unit of maximum security! So does Plan Fail. Now I know you're usually the news master Alright Because I went to Australia

I feel like I owe you some Australia news Alright Steven Frank Steele Teen accused of robbing 7-Eleven with chainsaw Allegedly wore flower pot on his head What a pothead That's how it starts What a pothead An Australian teenager has this starts. What a pothead.

An Australian teenager has been arrested for robbing a 7-Eleven gas station with a chainsaw while wearing a flower pot on his head. Stephen Frank Steele of Ipswich, Queensland, was arrested Monday morning after cops responded to a call from employees terrified by a man brandishing a chainsaw. by a man brandishing a chainsaw. The suspect, identified by police as Steele, wore a flower pot over his head in an attempt to conceal his identity. Steele allegedly lunged at the employees and damaged a window and several display racks with his power tool.

He also flashed his buttocks. He allegedly stole a single bottle of soda before making the escape. Police say Steele damaged a parked car while leaving the crime scene. Steele was arrested a short time later after police saw him walking down the street. The chainsaw was found in a bush near

the service station. Steele's been charged with multiple crimes including one count of armed robbery, two counts of willful damage, and one count of public nuisance. Investigators say St say steel was drunk and on a late night rampage all that for soda all that for soda uh yeah and then the article goes on to mention other people in the area who have used chainsaws to scare people yeah that's the thing

that happens i guess classic so there you go Now you know So Australia, they're not so different from us Yeah Yeah All right, well, that's it for us Thank you so much for listening and watching Or however you're enjoying this delightful podcast Crendor, hit up the socials

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Okay, well that's it. Thank you so much. We will see you guys next time, and as always, beep. Give me some alerts, or whatever the hell it's called?